DAVID MEESSEN | The Work of Building Attraction

It’s no secret that most men want to find love in life and someone they can partner with throughout life. But the reality is that far-fewer men are doing the work required than ever before. And, for those who are actively looking for love, many of them are floundering when it comes to approaching women and building interest that could potentially lead to a long-term relationship.

David Meessen is a man who has made it his life’s work to help men understand why they struggle and why society, at large, seems to be continually stacking the deck against the type of relationships the men listening to this podcast are looking for. Today we talk about why men seem to be so intimidated in approaching women, the skills (and, they are learnable skills) you can develop to have a more successful dating life, why “Progressive Desensitization” is such a valuable option in love and in life, the alarming statistics around romantic relationships and young men’s increasing aversion to them, and how radical honestly (not overly-agreeableness) is what creates attraction.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

00:00 – Opening & Dating Stats Alarming for Men
01:34 – The Harsh Reality of Dating Apps
03:09 – How Dating Apps Work Against Most Men
04:27 – Learning to Play the Dating Game
05:26 – Sacrificing Values for Connection
06:37 – Approach Anxiety and Desensitization
08:51 – Start Small: Building Momentum Through Socializing
10:01 – Rejection is Often Kind – and Necessary
11:23 – Don’t Pedestalize Her – Have Options
12:46 – We Live in a Friendly or Hostile Universe
14:16 – Oversharing as a Powerful Connection Tool
15:21 – Men Struggle to Share Their Strengths
16:29 – Assume the Burden of the Conversation
17:51 – Bitterness Towards Women & Scarcity Mindset
19:58 – Reality is Better Than Fear-Based Fantasies
22:13 – You Crave the Experience, Not the Person
23:31 – Compatibility vs. Chemistry
25:16 – Communication is a Learnable Skill
26:29 – Influence vs. Manipulation
30:54 – Authenticity in Style & Presence
32:34 – Confidence is Just as Authentic as Humility
33:10 – Radical Honesty and Sharing Values Early
35:42 – Relationships Built on Aligned Values
37:27 – Disagreement is Attractive
39:33 – Common Mistakes in Online & Real-Life Dating
41:39 – Learn Humor to Boost Social Skills
43:03 – Don’t Skip the Ask – Get the Contact
44:59 – Women Get Approached Less Than You Think
46:11 – How to Approach in the Gym the Right Way
47:52 – Meeting Quality Men Matters Too
49:03 – Why Intelligent Men Struggle with Connection
52:15 – Expression Freedom & Compatibility
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