EP 497: How to Stop Pushing Intimacay Away with Darletha

In this heartfelt and eye-opening coaching session, Christine Hassler supports Darletha as she bravely opens up about her struggles with intimacy, abandonment, and the fear of emotional vulnerability. Despite years of personal growth, therapy, and conscious dating efforts, Darletha finds herself in a recurring pattern of attracting men who aren’t aligned with her values—and pushing them away when things get too close.

Christine guides Darletha to explore the deeper emotional roots of her relationship dynamics, including childhood wounds, generational trauma, and the nervous system’s response to perceived threats in intimacy. Together, they highlight the difference between discernment and sabotage, and how inner child healing can shift these long-held patterns.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who feels frustrated with their dating experiences, struggles with emotional closeness, or feels misunderstood by their own protective patterns.

 

Consider/Ask Yourself:

• Do you find yourself attracting partners who aren’t quite right, then pushing them away?
• Are you hyper-aware of red flags to the point that it blocks connection?
• Can you tell the difference between discernment and emotional avoidance?
• Are you willing to explore how your nervous system and inner child might be influencing your relationship patterns?

 

Key Insights and A-HAs:

• Pushing people away can be a protective response, not a personal flaw.
• Childhood experiences of abandonment can lead to subconscious avoidance of intimacy.
• Discernment is not the same as fear—knowing the difference is key.
• Emotional safety begins within the self, not through control over others.
• True healing comes through compassion, vulnerability, and nervous system regulation.

 

How to Get Over It & On With It:

• Practice tuning into your body instead of staying in your head during dates or emotionally triggering moments.
• Acknowledge and soothe the inner child when feelings of rejection or abandonment arise.
• Let go of hyper-vigilance and perfectionism; focus instead on how you feel around a person, not just how they perform.
• Redefine vulnerability as strength, not weakness—it’s the gateway to authentic connection.
• Surround yourself with safe containers and communities (like Be the Queen) to reinforce new relational patterns.

 

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