Overcoming Betrayal & Addiction

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami answer questions about sex, cheating, intimacy, betrayal and more. They explore chronic lying, the power of mindset, the difference between firm boundaries and abuse, and more of the common but painful issues that betrayed partners face. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] I don’t want my betraying partner to touch me. How can I show empathy? 

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and The Shoeless Therapist Matt Wheeler discuss two types of change – counteractive change and transformational change – and how each one impacts healing. They also consider honesty, manipulation, and lying; and warn listeners of the danger of a partner claiming that they’ll never hurt you again. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:57] Defining counteractive change and t...

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and CSAT Jon Taylor consider the implications of two-person psychology and how cheating and betrayal never affect just one person. Jon shares common early recovery mantras as they apply to the two-person psychology filter, then answers listener questions about lying, sobriety, and disclosure. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] Mantras for early recovery in the two-pe...

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami address participant questions about sex, intimacy, betrayal, and addiction. They answer questions about finding peace with yourself in the midst of rage and repulsion, choosing recovery and allowing the process of forgiveness to play out, and how to find hope in the midst of betrayal. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:00] Forgiveness is a process and recove...

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob and Tami address the facts about forgiveness, trust, connection and peace, both in the early days of recovery as well as years down the road. They offer strategies for effective in-house separation, call out the warning signs of gaslighting, and get serious about setting feelings aside to start facing the facts. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:30] How can I find a...

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Tami and Erin Snow answer participant questions about sex, intimacy, addiction, betrayal, and more. They consider timelines in recovery, what full disclosure entails, and how to know if your partner is an addict or just a full-blown jerk, or both. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] Is this seminar only for partners experiencing betrayal? 

[3:55] How do I know...

In this weekly Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami answer participant questions about sex, intimacy, addiction, betrayal, and more. They offer resources for therapeutic separation, communication at every stage of recovery and reconciliation, and tools for practicing empathy with betrayed partners. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:24] Does my partner need to see a psychoanalyst first to get honest abou...

Troy Love and Tami answer participant questions about attachment wounds, shame, healthy boundaries, and the reality that an addict is always going to be an addict. It’s only how they chose to move forward in recovery that will change their life for better. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:30] My partner betrayed me and now we live like roommates. How can I refine myself whether I stay or go? 

[6:2...

Dr. Rob and Tami answer participant questions about rebuilding trust through intimate conversations, ideas for setting healthy boundaries after betrayal, and the danger of an addict swearing that they’re done acting out for the rest of their life. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:15] Current and upcoming resources at Seeking Integrity. 

[3:20] Do sponsees pay upfront or make monthly payments? 

Debbie McRae and Tami tackle ‘betrayal brain’, the intrusive thoughts, and emotional flooding that often accompany betrayal. When the brain is in survival mode, neurological and psychological effects are out of the betrayed partner’s control. They discuss tactics to regain control when the brain is hijacked. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:26] When betrayal occurs, the architecture of the brain is reshaped. 

Dr. Rob and Tami tackle hard questions about sex and intimacy in the wake of betrayal. They cover the role of a spouse in supporting their partner ‘for better and for worse”, how to set boundaries that take care of you first, and addressing the trauma and intrusive thoughts that often come after disclosure. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:20] Where do personal responsibility and societal norms come into play?...

Therapist Erin Snow shares insights into addiction, betrayal, boundaries and healing. She underscores the impact of addiction in the workplace, the importance of setting boundaries after betrayal, the realities of weaponizing sex in a partnership, and why betrayed partners often pursue safety seeking behaviors during healing. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:05] How addiction manifests in the workplace. 

Therapist Debbie McRae discusses options for the betrayed partner when the betraying partner is stalling or not fully in recovery. She offers tactics for partners who are stuck in the cycle of fear and uncertainty and are ready to regain control in healthy ways while seeking safety after betrayal. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:05] Common recovery limbo scenarios and what each one means. 

[4:33...

Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami answer participant questions about the importance of combining sex and drug addictions in treatment and recovery, the danger of staying stuck in the rage phase, and who you have control over in healing and recovery (it’s you and only you!). 

TAKEAWAYS:

[:55] Does ‘vanilla’ porn really affect our relationship? I don’t believe it’s hurting my partner.

[5:53]...

Dr. Rob Weiss and Tami answer participant questions about the challenges of rebuilding trust in a betrayed relationship and the importance of focusing on what you can do as a betrayed partner instead of focusing on what your addict partner can’t or shouldn’t do. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:40] My reluctant, betrayed spouse has been gone for a year. How can I approach them about my behavior? 

This week’s conversation features The Shoeless Therapist Matt Wheeler. He answers questions about needs and wants, the role of sex in meeting relationship needs, and what partners can do to feel more securely attached to each other. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:24] Is disclosure always necessary? 

[3:43] People in recovery often aren’t aware of what their needs truly are. 

[6:42]...

In this week’s Sex and Intimacy Q&A, Dr. Rob Weiss answers participant questions about spectrum disorders, personality disorders, honest therapeutic disclosure, and the importance of involving qualified professionals in diagnosis and recovery. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:08] What are the key differences between the compulsion of a sex addict and OCD? 

[6:08] The danger of self-diagnosing per...

In this webinar, CSAT therapist Jon Taylor offers a high-level overview of Attachment Theory, how it manifests as maturity in a relationship, and how it impacts sex addiction and betrayal trauma recovery. Jon and Tami then answer questions about attachment theory's role in creating strong relationships.

TAKEAWAYS:

[:55] The role of attachment theory in addiction recovery. 

[1:58...

In this episode, Scott Brassart discusses the addictive nature of sex and pornography, and how these addictions create dysregulation in the dopamine rewards system. Scott and Tami also answer participant questions about the difference between habits and addictions and timelines in recovery. 

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:10] The dopamine system craves rewards and pleasure. 

[3:41] The danger of...