EP277 Wait…Am I the Problem? The Boundary Issues We Don’t See in Ourselves

 

Many of us think of boundaries as something we set with other people, but what about the boundaries we fail to set with ourselves? In this episode, we’re uncovering the often-missed ways we mismanage our time, over-accommodate, and fall into patterns of fawning—where people-pleasing overrides our own needs. These habits can look like overcommitting, struggling to say no, avoiding conflict, or constantly putting others' comfort ahead of our own well-being. And while they might seem harmless on the surface, they slowly chip away at our confidence, energy, and self-trust.

If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries, caught yourself over-explaining decisions, or found it hard to stop people-pleasing, this conversation is for you. We’re diving into the subtle ways we cross our own boundaries, why fawning keeps us stuck in these patterns, and how to start shifting toward healthier, more balanced relationships—without guilt or fear.

 

Three Key Takeaways

1 You might be crossing your own boundaries without realizing it. Some of the biggest ways we sabotage our time, energy, and relationships aren’t the obvious ones—but the ones we justify as ‘being nice’ or ‘helpful.’

2 Fawning isn’t just about people-pleasing—it’s a survival strategy. If you’ve ever felt anxious when saying no or setting a limit, there’s a deeper reason why. Recognizing this can help you start changing the pattern.

3 Breaking free from these habits doesn’t mean being harsh or selfish. There’s a way to honor your needs and set boundaries without guilt, over-explaining, or fearing conflict—and it might look different than you expect.

When you constantly prioritize avoiding conflict, you end up creating an internal one instead.

 

You weren’t born afraid to say no.

 Somewhere along the way,

you learned that pleasing

others was safer

 than honoring yourself.

 

 

.css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}