In this episode, I answer questions from Heather, who provides play therapy in a boys’ home setting for ages 10–12. We cover a wide range of topics, including how to respond when a child says “stop copying me” during reflective responding, how to handle requests to do sessions outdoors, and whether sandtray fits within a CCPT framework. I also talk through the dynamics behind kids asking for toys—especially in foster care or state custody situations.
Each scenario opens up an important opportunity to clarify what full adherence to CCPT looks like. From playroom boundaries to clinical judgment in unique settings, I share how we stay rooted in the model while making decisions that preserve the integrity of the therapeutic process. If you work with children in non-traditional settings or face common but complex challenges in session, this episode will offer both clarity and practical guidance.
PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click!
If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.
Ask Me Questions: Call (813) 812-5525, or email: brenna@thekidcounselor.com
Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com
CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com
APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com
Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor
Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast
Common References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
a master class in child-centered play therapy
and practical support and application for your
work with children and their families.
In today's episode,
I am answering a question,
(00:21):
actually several questions from Heather,
and I'm not actually sure where Heather lives.
It was not in the email,
but she works at a boys home for ages 10 to 12.
So a little bit of a unique environment to provide play therapy
and she has a few questions,
so we'll dive in and we'll process these together.
(00:41):
So I'll read them and then we'll be able to look at each one.
I've heard you address several times when a kid tells you to stop talking,
but recently,
several have said stop copying me when I am tracking.
For example,
the kid ignores me and continues swinging when I say it's time for therapy.
So I track,
you're having so much fun that you don't want to stop.
(01:03):
Is it the same approach as the stop talking?
All right,
so I think there's multi layers here,
so let me unpack them a little bit.
So when a child tells us to stop talking or stop copying me,
That's usually resistance in some way,
shape or form.
In other words,
they either have never had someone speak to them that way before,
so it's new and different and therefore uncomfortable
(01:25):
and therefore they're trying to avoid it.
So they just say stop so they don't have to deal with it.
Or sometimes,
especially if it's reflecting feelings,
they
don't know how to handle someone acknowledging and
putting a word to how they're feeling.
And they can't receive it yet.
In other words,
their emotional vocabulary is so underdeveloped
(01:46):
that hearing someone say you're frustrated,
they don't like the fact that it's been spoken into existence.
So sometimes they will bristle at it,
especially if it's a reflecting feelings kind of scenario.
Third option is
they tell you to stop because it feels incongruent
and that's usually an execution
issue.
In other words,
(02:06):
it doesn't seem genuine,
it doesn't seem congruent.
Our tone of voice and our facial expression
are not appropriate for what we're saying,
and they sense it and they feel it,
so they tell us to stop
or
we are parroting too closely.
And they actually feel like you're copying them.
So if we're not paraphrasing and summarizing,
(02:28):
and we're just saying exactly the same thing back to a child,
they likely are going to say stop because that doesn't make sense to them.
So those are the three reasons why a child will typically say,
stop telling me how I feel,
stop
copying me,
stop saying what I'm saying,
stop telling me what I'm doing,
etc.
OK,
(02:48):
so then your next scenario,
the child ignores you and continues swinging when you say it's time for therapy.
OK,
I'm gonna pause there and I know this might be a little bit specific,
but I think that it's relevant.
None of the kids that come to our center
know that it's therapy.
Now,
they might figure it out,
(03:10):
they might read The Kid Counselor Center and realize
that it's counseling of some sort.
Their parents might say that you're going to therapy,
but as far as we communicate to them,
we never acknowledge that it's therapy.
It's playing
So Heather,
I might encourage you to say it's time for us to go play
rather than it's time for therapy just because it has a very different connotation,
(03:35):
it has a very different expectation,
and I think sometimes there's resistance to the nature of therapy
as a rule,
but there's very rarely resistance to playing.
So that was just kind of a related aside.
OK.
So then,
if you say it's time to play and the child ignores you and continues swinging.
You say you're having so much fun that you don't want to stop.
(03:58):
OK,
that's actually several things.
That's
a pseudo feeling reflection.
Now you could actually make it more specific to an emotion,
so you could say
you're enjoying swinging or you're happy
to swing or you're glad that you're swinging.
That would be an official feeling reflection,
but
you're feeling that so much that you're not ready to stop.
(04:21):
That is a little bit of an enlargement,
it's a little bit of a tracking,
it's a little bit of a narrative summary.
So there's a lot going on there,
all very appropriate and adherent.
When you say,
is that the same approach as the stop talking,
We want to always validate what's going on for a child
and then set neutral expectations.
So I would follow that up with.
(04:42):
But you know that it's our time to play.
So you're having so much fun or you're so happy that you're swinging right now
that you're not ready to stop,
but you know that it's our time to go play.
And you repeat that several times and eventually
the child chooses to come play with you.
So you would want to just set the neutral expectation,
we call that a pseudo limit,
(05:03):
and you would wait for the child to be able to comply with the fact that it's playtime.
So,
when a kid says,
stop copying me,
we typically respond with,
oh,
you're a little bit irritated that I'm telling you what
you've said to me,
but that's how I make sure that I understood you.
Or,
oh,
it frustrates you when I say what I think you're feeling,
(05:24):
but
that's what I thought you were feeling and I wanted you to know.
So we will always respond with the why behind the
use of the skill when a child bucks that.
But I don't know that we would do that there.
We would want to more validate and then set the neutral limit.
OK,
so then second question,
since I see children at the home,
(05:45):
they might ask to do our session outside.
Initially I would compromise and allow some time at
the end for us to be outside together,
but I feel like when I allow them to truly be in charge,
even if we are outside swinging or looking for snails instead of my office,
it is more therapeutic than forcing them to stay in my office.
Is this OK?
How do you navigate in home therapy?
(06:07):
All right,
so
there's a clinical judgment call here
because
in true CCPT form,
the playtime is for the playroom.
And there's a lot of reasons there you're able to
keep the child safe.
You're able to govern what happens.
There are no unexpected surprises.
(06:28):
It's controllable,
it's sustainable,
it's replicable.
There are all kinds of components to why we limit the play session to the playroom.
First of all,
the playroom is a very special environment
unlike any other.
So
it's very important that the child gets the experience of being
in that special environment with the special relationship with you.
(06:49):
You don't have other dynamics introduced,
you know,
if you're outside,
someone can walk up and talk,
someone can come up and intervene.
There,
there's no way to really truly
make sure that that is the ideal scenario
for play therapy.
However,
there are certain kids that
really
(07:10):
Need or want something else.
So there have been times when I've gone out and done a nature walk.
There have been times when I've gone out and
thrown rocks into the lake behind my office.
There have been times when we've gone out and
fed the turtles in the lake behind my office.
Why?
Because if the child truly is in charge.
It allows for them to show you what they need.
(07:34):
But you have to make a clinical judgment call.
Is this power and control?
Is this resistant?
Is it avoidant?
Itw what is driving it?
Because you have to respond accordingly
based on the why behind the behavior.
If the child says,
can we go out and feed the turtles because they absolutely love animals
(07:55):
and that will fill up their cup to overflowing
and you know how much that would mean to get
to go out with someone that they care about,
meaning you,
and feed the turtles,
then
you would give them the choice.
You really would love to go out and feed the turtles,
but you know that our special playtime
is for the playroom.
(08:15):
You can choose for us to go out and feed the turtles when we have 5 minutes left,
or you can choose for us to go out and feed the turtles when we have 3 minutes left.
Which do you choose?
Now all of a sudden,
you validated it,
you've made sure that the expectation is clear,
and then you've provided them with a choice.
So that would be the way that you would handle
that if you feel that it really is therapeutically beneficial.
(08:38):
Now,
if the kid says,
I want to go outside because they're trying to avoid playing,
then that's a whole different rationale,
therefore,
a whole different response.
So that's something that you're going to need to assess Heather to to determine
what's the why behind the child wanting to go outside,
and then you can respond accordingly.
(08:58):
OK.
I love doing sandtray,
but I've been struggling with how to introduce
it or approach it since it's so directive,
as in,
show me your world using the miniatures.
How do you integrate this or don't you?
I am so glad that you brought this up.
I'm actually going to be doing a
sand tray with CCPT
(09:19):
Core Wellness course soon.
So we're working on that.
This is a really big
thing that we need to address in CCPT.
So in full CCPT fashion
and in the original intent behind the way you set up a playroom.
In a CCPT playroom,
you have a sandbox.
In other words,
(09:40):
is large enough
for the child to
get in it.
It is typically on the floor,
and yes,
it can be a tray,
it can be a rectangle.
But it is not meant to be on a stand
with miniatures
in a directive sense such such as young and
sand tray or whatever.
(10:01):
So,
if you're going to have sand in your room.
It is a toy
or an option just like any other toy or option in the room is.
In other words,
if they choose to do something in the sand,
It is their choice.
There are no prompts.
There are no directives.
There's no agenda.
We don't say use miniatures
(10:22):
to
pick out the people in your family.
We don't say what's the name of your world.
We don't say
what would you change about your world,
what would you add to your world?
None of the directive nature
of sand work is worked in.
It is a tray.
You typically do have small figurines in your room for it,
but you also have shovels and pails and containers of water
(10:46):
and all kinds of other things that you would use in the sand as well,
construction vehicles,
you know,
like dump trucks and stuff that you can fill up and dump.
So whatever a child chooses to do in the sand,
it's just another option in the playroom
in a child-centered fashion.
In other words,
you're going to respond exactly the same way.
You're going to track behavior,
(11:06):
you're going to reflect content,
you're going to reflect feeling,
you're going to use the pillars.
You treat it as any other play in the room.
So there is never any kind of objective or directive activity.
When a child has access to a sand tray or a sandbox
in a CCPT playroom.
That was actually a really helpful question,
(11:27):
Heather.
Thank you.
All right.
And then last one.
Since I work with state custody kids,
I've noticed they perceive that someone cares about
them if something is bought for them.
Almost every session I'm asked,
Will you buy me this or can I have this toy?
I track you like that toy and you'd like it to be yours,
but the toys are for staying in the playroom.
But I'm not sure if I should say something more or something else.
(11:48):
Also,
for clarity,
I don't buy the things that kids
ask,
and they do have ways of earning money and buying their own things.
OK,
so that's not unique just to the fact that you have state custody kids,
Heather,
that's actually a lot of children.
A lot of children ask if you will buy something for
them or for the playroom.
Lots of kids will ask to take things home,
(12:09):
lots of kids will try to smuggle things home
or very craftily steal things.
So that's a pretty standard part of the CCPT room and the CCPT process.
But absolutely,
the fact that they are in foster care,
they would receive gifts
in more of a love language kind of fashion.
(12:29):
In other words,
you care about me if you buy me something,
but that's also permanent.
So you have to keep in mind the the thematic root of that.
You know,
even when I'm not with you,
you were thinking about me and I'm thinking about you.
There's a permanent element there.
So in those scenarios,
you're going to do exactly the same thing that you
(12:49):
would do with any other scenario.
Oh,
you really wish that I would buy that for you.
You're going to validate it.
And you know,
I've had kids say
you need to buy
a Hulk figurine.
Oh,
you would really enjoy it if there was a Hulk figurine in here.
And then the next week they're like,
(13:10):
did you buy the Hulk figurine?
Oh,
you're disappointed that there isn't a Hulk figurine today.
Yeah,
I asked you to buy it for me.
Oh,
you were really hoping that I was gonna buy that toy for you.
So you're always going to reflect feelings,
you're always going to reflect content and validate.
Same thing with,
can I have this toy?
You really wish that you could take that with you,
but you know that all the toys are for staying in the playroom,
(13:32):
but you can choose to play with it again next time.
It will be here when you come back.
You'll be able to play with it again.
And those are the kinds of responses that we want to have when that happens.
But regardless,
we don't cave
because
we do not add things to the playroom,
toys are selected rather than collected.
We do not give children gifts
(13:53):
because
that becomes
conditional
rather than unconditional.
And we also don't allow children to take toys home because
the toys are for staying so that everyone can use them.
So that's just about using the phrases of CCPT
to address those kinds of questions.
All right,
Heather,
(14:14):
thank you so much for the questions.
I hope that that was helpful and
you know,
all of us deal with all of these scenarios.
So I think it's helpful for all of us to be able
to kind of process this and make sure that we're adherent,
make sure that we
are appropriately prepared
to handle these kinds of scenarios.
So again,
Heather,
thanks for the question.
If you would like to email me,
I would love to hear from you,
brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
(14:36):
You can reach out.
I do get every single email.
No one filters them for me,
so I promise you I will directly respond
and I actually got an interview request yesterday
and grad student needing to do an interview for a course,
and she emailed me and I emailed back and she was like,
I can't believe that you're actually responding to
(14:57):
the email and I'm having a little fangirl moment
and I was like.
I do,
I promise you,
read every single email.
I do respond personally.
And then I did a discovery call,
which is someone interested in a coaching group,
and she said,
I can't believe it's you on the call.
And I'm like,
why are people so surprised that I interact with my people?
You're my favorite people.
(15:18):
Of course,
I'm gonna,
it's gonna be me.
Anyway,
send me an email.
That's the moral of that story.
I'd love to hear from you.
And you know how much I love y'all.
We'll talk again soon.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.
Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and resources,
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
a master class in child-centered play therapy
and practical support and application for your
work with children and their families.
In today's episode,
I am answering a question,
(00:21):
actually several questions from Heather,
and I'm not actually sure where Heather lives.
It was not in the email,
but she works at a boys home for ages 10 to 12.
So a little bit of a unique environment to provide play therapy
and she has a few questions,
so we'll dive in and we'll process these together.
(00:41):
So I'll read them and then we'll be able to look at each one.
I've heard you address several times when a kid tells you to stop talking,
but recently,
several have said stop copying me when I am tracking.
For example,
the kid ignores me and continues swinging when I say it's time for therapy.
So I track,
you're having so much fun that you don't want to stop.
(01:03):
Is it the same approach as the stop talking?
All right,
so I think there's multi layers here,
so let me unpack them a little bit.
So when a child tells us to stop talking or stop copying me,
That's usually resistance in some way,
shape or form.
In other words,
they either have never had someone speak to them that way before,
so it's new and different and therefore uncomfortable
(01:25):
and therefore they're trying to avoid it.
So they just say stop so they don't have to deal with it.
Or sometimes,
especially if it's reflecting feelings,
they
don't know how to handle someone acknowledging and
putting a word to how they're feeling.
And they can't receive it yet.
In other words,
their emotional vocabulary is so underdeveloped
(01:46):
that hearing someone say you're frustrated,
they don't like the fact that it's been spoken into existence.
So sometimes they will bristle at it,
especially if it's a reflecting feelings kind of scenario.
Third option is
they tell you to stop because it feels incongruent
and that's usually an execution
issue.
In other words,
(02:06):
it doesn't seem genuine,
it doesn't seem congruent.
Our tone of voice and our facial expression
are not appropriate for what we're saying,
and they sense it and they feel it,
so they tell us to stop
or
we are parroting too closely.
And they actually feel like you're copying them.
So if we're not paraphrasing and summarizing,
(02:28):
and we're just saying exactly the same thing back to a child,
they likely are going to say stop because that doesn't make sense to them.
So those are the three reasons why a child will typically say,
stop telling me how I feel,
stop
copying me,
stop saying what I'm saying,
stop telling me what I'm doing,
etc.
OK,
(02:48):
so then your next scenario,
the child ignores you and continues swinging when you say it's time for therapy.
OK,
I'm gonna pause there and I know this might be a little bit specific,
but I think that it's relevant.
None of the kids that come to our center
know that it's therapy.
Now,
they might figure it out,
(03:10):
they might read The Kid Counselor Center and realize
that it's counseling of some sort.
Their parents might say that you're going to therapy,
but as far as we communicate to them,
we never acknowledge that it's therapy.
It's playing
So Heather,
I might encourage you to say it's time for us to go play
rather than it's time for therapy just because it has a very different connotation,
(03:35):
it has a very different expectation,
and I think sometimes there's resistance to the nature of therapy
as a rule,
but there's very rarely resistance to playing.
So that was just kind of a related aside.
OK.
So then,
if you say it's time to play and the child ignores you and continues swinging.
You say you're having so much fun that you don't want to stop.
(03:58):
OK,
that's actually several things.
That's
a pseudo feeling reflection.
Now you could actually make it more specific to an emotion,
so you could say
you're enjoying swinging or you're happy
to swing or you're glad that you're swinging.
That would be an official feeling reflection,
but
you're feeling that so much that you're not ready to stop.
(04:21):
That is a little bit of an enlargement,
it's a little bit of a tracking,
it's a little bit of a narrative summary.
So there's a lot going on there,
all very appropriate and adherent.
When you say,
is that the same approach as the stop talking,
We want to always validate what's going on for a child
and then set neutral expectations.
So I would follow that up with.
(04:42):
But you know that it's our time to play.
So you're having so much fun or you're so happy that you're swinging right now
that you're not ready to stop,
but you know that it's our time to go play.
And you repeat that several times and eventually
the child chooses to come play with you.
So you would want to just set the neutral expectation,
we call that a pseudo limit,
(05:03):
and you would wait for the child to be able to comply with the fact that it's playtime.
So,
when a kid says,
stop copying me,
we typically respond with,
oh,
you're a little bit irritated that I'm telling you what
you've said to me,
but that's how I make sure that I understood you.
Or,
oh,
it frustrates you when I say what I think you're feeling,
(05:24):
but
that's what I thought you were feeling and I wanted you to know.
So we will always respond with the why behind the
use of the skill when a child bucks that.
But I don't know that we would do that there.
We would want to more validate and then set the neutral limit.
OK,
so then second question,
since I see children at the home,
(05:45):
they might ask to do our session outside.
Initially I would compromise and allow some time at
the end for us to be outside together,
but I feel like when I allow them to truly be in charge,
even if we are outside swinging or looking for snails instead of my office,
it is more therapeutic than forcing them to stay in my office.
Is this OK?
How do you navigate in home therapy?
(06:07):
All right,
so
there's a clinical judgment call here
because
in true CCPT form,
the playtime is for the playroom.
And there's a lot of reasons there you're able to
keep the child safe.
You're able to govern what happens.
There are no unexpected surprises.
(06:28):
It's controllable,
it's sustainable,
it's replicable.
There are all kinds of components to why we limit the play session to the playroom.
First of all,
the playroom is a very special environment
unlike any other.
So
it's very important that the child gets the experience of being
in that special environment with the special relationship with you.
(06:49):
You don't have other dynamics introduced,
you know,
if you're outside,
someone can walk up and talk,
someone can come up and intervene.
There,
there's no way to really truly
make sure that that is the ideal scenario
for play therapy.
However,
there are certain kids that
really
(07:10):
Need or want something else.
So there have been times when I've gone out and done a nature walk.
There have been times when I've gone out and
thrown rocks into the lake behind my office.
There have been times when we've gone out and
fed the turtles in the lake behind my office.
Why?
Because if the child truly is in charge.
It allows for them to show you what they need.
(07:34):
But you have to make a clinical judgment call.
Is this power and control?
Is this resistant?
Is it avoidant?
Itw what is driving it?
Because you have to respond accordingly
based on the why behind the behavior.
If the child says,
can we go out and feed the turtles because they absolutely love animals
(07:55):
and that will fill up their cup to overflowing
and you know how much that would mean to get
to go out with someone that they care about,
meaning you,
and feed the turtles,
then
you would give them the choice.
You really would love to go out and feed the turtles,
but you know that our special playtime
is for the playroom.
(08:15):
You can choose for us to go out and feed the turtles when we have 5 minutes left,
or you can choose for us to go out and feed the turtles when we have 3 minutes left.
Which do you choose?
Now all of a sudden,
you validated it,
you've made sure that the expectation is clear,
and then you've provided them with a choice.
So that would be the way that you would handle
that if you feel that it really is therapeutically beneficial.
(08:38):
Now,
if the kid says,
I want to go outside because they're trying to avoid playing,
then that's a whole different rationale,
therefore,
a whole different response.
So that's something that you're going to need to assess Heather to to determine
what's the why behind the child wanting to go outside,
and then you can respond accordingly.
(08:58):
OK.
I love doing sandtray,
but I've been struggling with how to introduce
it or approach it since it's so directive,
as in,
show me your world using the miniatures.
How do you integrate this or don't you?
I am so glad that you brought this up.
I'm actually going to be doing a
sand tray with CCPT
(09:19):
Core Wellness course soon.
So we're working on that.
This is a really big
thing that we need to address in CCPT.
So in full CCPT fashion
and in the original intent behind the way you set up a playroom.
In a CCPT playroom,
you have a sandbox.
In other words,
(09:40):
is large enough
for the child to
get in it.
It is typically on the floor,
and yes,
it can be a tray,
it can be a rectangle.
But it is not meant to be on a stand
with miniatures
in a directive sense such such as young and
sand tray or whatever.
(10:01):
So,
if you're going to have sand in your room.
It is a toy
or an option just like any other toy or option in the room is.
In other words,
if they choose to do something in the sand,
It is their choice.
There are no prompts.
There are no directives.
There's no agenda.
We don't say use miniatures
(10:22):
to
pick out the people in your family.
We don't say what's the name of your world.
We don't say
what would you change about your world,
what would you add to your world?
None of the directive nature
of sand work is worked in.
It is a tray.
You typically do have small figurines in your room for it,
but you also have shovels and pails and containers of water
(10:46):
and all kinds of other things that you would use in the sand as well,
construction vehicles,
you know,
like dump trucks and stuff that you can fill up and dump.
So whatever a child chooses to do in the sand,
it's just another option in the playroom
in a child-centered fashion.
In other words,
you're going to respond exactly the same way.
You're going to track behavior,
(11:06):
you're going to reflect content,
you're going to reflect feeling,
you're going to use the pillars.
You treat it as any other play in the room.
So there is never any kind of objective or directive activity.
When a child has access to a sand tray or a sandbox
in a CCPT playroom.
That was actually a really helpful question,
(11:27):
Heather.
Thank you.
All right.
And then last one.
Since I work with state custody kids,
I've noticed they perceive that someone cares about
them if something is bought for them.
Almost every session I'm asked,
Will you buy me this or can I have this toy?
I track you like that toy and you'd like it to be yours,
but the toys are for staying in the playroom.
But I'm not sure if I should say something more or something else.
(11:48):
Also,
for clarity,
I don't buy the things that kids
ask,
and they do have ways of earning money and buying their own things.
OK,
so that's not unique just to the fact that you have state custody kids,
Heather,
that's actually a lot of children.
A lot of children ask if you will buy something for
them or for the playroom.
Lots of kids will ask to take things home,
(12:09):
lots of kids will try to smuggle things home
or very craftily steal things.
So that's a pretty standard part of the CCPT room and the CCPT process.
But absolutely,
the fact that they are in foster care,
they would receive gifts
in more of a love language kind of fashion.
(12:29):
In other words,
you care about me if you buy me something,
but that's also permanent.
So you have to keep in mind the the thematic root of that.
You know,
even when I'm not with you,
you were thinking about me and I'm thinking about you.
There's a permanent element there.
So in those scenarios,
you're going to do exactly the same thing that you
(12:49):
would do with any other scenario.
Oh,
you really wish that I would buy that for you.
You're going to validate it.
And you know,
I've had kids say
you need to buy
a Hulk figurine.
Oh,
you would really enjoy it if there was a Hulk figurine in here.
And then the next week they're like,
(13:10):
did you buy the Hulk figurine?
Oh,
you're disappointed that there isn't a Hulk figurine today.
Yeah,
I asked you to buy it for me.
Oh,
you were really hoping that I was gonna buy that toy for you.
So you're always going to reflect feelings,
you're always going to reflect content and validate.
Same thing with,
can I have this toy?
You really wish that you could take that with you,
but you know that all the toys are for staying in the playroom,
(13:32):
but you can choose to play with it again next time.
It will be here when you come back.
You'll be able to play with it again.
And those are the kinds of responses that we want to have when that happens.
But regardless,
we don't cave
because
we do not add things to the playroom,
toys are selected rather than collected.
We do not give children gifts
(13:53):
because
that becomes
conditional
rather than unconditional.
And we also don't allow children to take toys home because
the toys are for staying so that everyone can use them.
So that's just about using the phrases of CCPT
to address those kinds of questions.
All right,
Heather,
(14:14):
thank you so much for the questions.
I hope that that was helpful and
you know,
all of us deal with all of these scenarios.
So I think it's helpful for all of us to be able
to kind of process this and make sure that we're adherent,
make sure that we
are appropriately prepared
to handle these kinds of scenarios.
So again,
Heather,
thanks for the question.
If you would like to email me,
I would love to hear from you,
brenna@thekidcounselor.com.
(14:36):
You can reach out.
I do get every single email.
No one filters them for me,
so I promise you I will directly respond
and I actually got an interview request yesterday
and grad student needing to do an interview for a course,
and she emailed me and I emailed back and she was like,
I can't believe that you're actually responding to
(14:57):
the email and I'm having a little fangirl moment
and I was like.
I do,
I promise you,
read every single email.
I do respond personally.
And then I did a discovery call,
which is someone interested in a coaching group,
and she said,
I can't believe it's you on the call.
And I'm like,
why are people so surprised that I interact with my people?
You're my favorite people.
(15:18):
Of course,
I'm gonna,
it's gonna be me.
Anyway,
send me an email.
That's the moral of that story.
I'd love to hear from you.
And you know how much I love y'all.
We'll talk again soon.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.
Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and resources,
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.