314 | Art of the Session: What Happens in the Lobby Matters Too

In this episode of the Art of the Session summer series, I talk about one of the most overlooked parts of the CCPT process—our relationship with parents. While we spend most of our time and training focusing on the therapeutic relationship with the child, we often miss the weekly opportunity to build rapport, trust, and connection with the parents in the lobby. But those 10 to 15 minutes before and after sessions can make all the difference in client retention, parent satisfaction, and overall outcomes.

I share what it looks like to authentically engage with parents week after week—not as a formality, but as part of the therapeutic process. From appropriate self-disclosure to remembering the details of their lives, these micro-interactions build a sense of trust and care that parents carry with them. In fact, when they leave reviews, they rarely mention the clinical gains. They talk about how I made them feel—heard, supported, and understood. That’s the power of relationship. And in CCPT, it applies to the entire family system.

PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click!

If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪[phone]‬, or email: [e-mail]
Brenna's CCPT Hub: https://www.playtherapynow.com
CCPT Collective (online community exclusively for CCPTs): https://www.ccptcollective.com
Podcast HQ: https://www.playtherapypodcast.com
APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com
Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor
Facebook: https://facebook.com/playtherapypodcast

Common References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
a master class in child-centered play therapy
and practical support and application for your
work with children and their families.
In today's episode,
we are continuing the Art of the Session

(00:23):
summer series.
Last week we talked about setting up your playroom,
and today we are talking about
the relationship
that is created
from
the time that your families walk through the door until they leave.
And so every week we have opportunities to

(00:43):
facilitate that connection and that relationship
and we'll talk about what that looks like and how to best
make sure that we are preserving and enhancing that communication,
connection and relationship.
Before we get there,
I want to give you all an update
in the way of an announcement.
So,
July 7th.

(01:05):
Shortly after 4th of July,
so the Monday after 4th of July weekend,
we are launching our CPRT course,
and I know so many of you have been anxiously awaiting that launch.
Wanted to let you know July 7th,
it will be live and ready to go for you all.
And as a thank you to those of you
that are either email subscribers and or podcast listeners,

(01:28):
you will be receiving a code.
I will.
it on both the podcast and in the email newsletter,
you will get a code for $100 off the course
for 10 days.
So from July 7th through July 17th,
you all will have access to the course for $100 off.
So please take advantage of that.
It will give you 16 CEUs.

(01:49):
And you will be able
to get trained in the complete CPRT curriculum
and then facilitate that with families and add it to your suite of services.
So launching July 7th,
really excited about that.
It's been a long time coming
and stay tuned for the code so that you can get $100 off.
If you want to check out the information about it in the meantime,

(02:11):
you can go to playtherapynow.com.
There'll be a countdown timer and then there'll be a video on there shortly
talking about what is included in the course and and the
content and things like that playtherapynow.com for more info.
Alrighty,
so let's talk about
continuing in the Art of the Session summer series.
What does the process look like for connection and relationship with

(02:35):
your families?
Think of it this way,
from the moment that they walk through the door of your office.
Until the moment they leave to go back to their vehicle.
You have that hour or so opportunity.
To pour into the relationships
as they're with you.

(02:56):
And we talk all the time,
probably ad nauseam
about
the importance of the relationship with our client,
our child.
And it's at the heart of everything we do.
CCPT
always comes back to the relationship.
We know this,
we talk about this.
But the bulk of that relationship,
formation,
preservation,

(03:17):
maintenance,
all of that is in the playroom.
And if we miss the opportunity to build relationships with parents
while they're there with us,
we are going to struggle
to
maintain
our clients,
we're going to struggle
to have the outcomes that we want,

(03:37):
the reviews that we would like to receive
all of this is tied to the relationship.
So essentially you can think about it as
you have a 50 minute or however long your therapeutic hour is,
so 45 to 50 minute.
Each week opportunity
to really pour into the relationship with your child.
And then you have a 10 to 15 minute window

(03:58):
to really pour into the relationship with parents in the lobby.
One of the things that I think gets missed more often than not
is when a family is participating in play therapy with us.
We have an opportunity to do life with them.
We are invited into their lives.
We are a small part of their family.

(04:20):
And we get to journey alongside them
as the child is working through their therapeutic path.
It can never be just,
hey,
how's it going?
OK,
we'll be back in 50 minutes,
bye,
and you take the kid back.
That is not
the Art of the Session.

(04:42):
The Art of the Session is we build relationship
and connection and trust
and
rapport
and bond and all of that with our child client,
yes,
but also with our parents.
Because
if we just

(05:02):
Communicate with them in such a way where it's like,
OK,
I'm gonna take your kid back now,
see you in a little bit,
and then you say,
OK,
see you next time.
First of all,
it's a lot of missed opportunity,
but second of all,
the parent will never feel like they have formed a relationship with you.
The only way that that takes place is in your consultations

(05:24):
and in your every week lobby conversations.
When you
are out with a family.
You should be getting to know them.
You should be chit chatting with them,
you should know about their pets,
you should know about where they're going or where they went on vacation.
You should know about their hobbies,

(05:46):
you should know their friends and family's
names that they reference in conversation frequently.
And vice versa.
You can appropriately self-disclose in conversation
things about you so that they get to know you,
not to an unnecessary degree,
not to an inappropriate degree,

(06:07):
but when your family
says we're gonna go on a cruise and you say,
oh my gosh,
we just went on a cruise a couple months ago,
it was amazing and then you chit chat about how much you love to cruise.
That is appropriate self-disclosure relationship building communication.
When they talk about their pets
and you say,

(06:27):
oh my gosh,
I had a beagle.
I love beagles,
and
then there's a connection made over
the type of dog or they tell you about their hobby and they love to
play billiards and you say,
oh my gosh,
I'm really not good at pool,
but I like to play it and blah blah blah.
These are

(06:47):
those really
fun.
Chit chat conversations that should fill every single week
when your families come in the lobby.
Because you naturally get that opportunity in the play session with a kid.
You're building rapport and bond and trust and relationship and connection
every single week for 45 or 50 minutes.

(07:09):
You have a much shorter window.
When you're with parents,
And I've said this several times in podcasts,
your parents are your customer.
So if you're going to have any semblance of customer service,
you have to attend to the parents.
And I actually,
when I was speaking a while back,
I had someone in the audience say,
well,

(07:29):
I like my clients,
but sometimes I don't like my customers.
OK,
that's an interesting take,
and I think a lot of therapists feel that way.
Gosh,
if I could do this job and not have to interact with parents,
things would be so much better.
It's a package deal,
y'all.
Kids don't drive themselves,
kids don't pay for it,
kids don't refer other people to you,
kids don't leave you reviews.

(07:51):
There's no way that we do this without parents.
We become a team.
And I get it.
Parents are sometimes difficult and parents are in crisis,
and you know the people that seem the hardest to love
need love the most and sometimes parents are hard to love
because they're in
a really,
really rough spot emotionally or psychologically or mentally or whatever.

(08:15):
So we have to honor the fact that it's not always easy
to connect
and build relationship and communication,
but that's one of our roles.
Because we need to recognize
that
the closer that parents feel to us,
the deeper the connection
that they've formed,

(08:36):
the less likely they are
to
bail in the middle of treatment.
You will likely reduce your attrition.
I mean,
there are a lot of factors.
It's articulation and communication and helping them see the value
and helping them see progress and it's not just relationship,
but a factor certainly is.

(08:57):
The more your people like you,
and the more they feel connected to you,
and the more they feel you've taken the time to get to know them
personally.
If they see you as just another professional that's working with their kid,
that is not the same thing as they feel like
they personally know you and like you and trust you.

(09:19):
It's totally different.
So one of the major goals that we have
is to build relationship with
the parents as well.
Of course,
it comes with kids.
But we're missing a huge portion
of the application of this work
if we miss out on the opportunity to connect with parents

(09:41):
and
one of the things that has really struck me
is what people choose to write in
my reviews.
So when someone leaves me a Google review.
It's really interesting to me and this really sealed this concept for me.
It is rare,
if ever,
that a parent leaves a review

(10:01):
and talks about anything clinical in the review.
They rarely talk about
the child's improvement.
They rarely talk about
the issues getting resolved.
They rarely talk about the presenting concerns
and how over time they saw a reduction in those concerns.
It's rare,
if ever,
quite honestly,

(10:21):
that parents talk about the clinical aspect
of the work that I do
when I'm
a part of their family.
What they say
is,
Brenna always took the time to listen.
Brenna understood what was going on and
provided really helpful thoughts and advice.
Brenna always was able to connect and make us feel like she understood.

(10:44):
Brenna was able to.
communicate with us in a way that really made us feel comfortable.
It was all relational in nature.
And this shouldn't surprise us
because this is relationship-driven.
Therapy specifically child-centered therapy because we're going back to Rogers,
it's very much about the relationship.

(11:05):
And this shouldn't surprise us at all,
but
what people remember
is the experience tied to the emotion.
Therefore,
if every single time families come,
they love being with you,
they love being at your center or your practice or your agency or wherever.
They love their conversations with you,

(11:26):
they love how they feel after they've had conversations with you.
They love how they feel when they leave.
It's been an hour where it just uplifts them and it encourages them and it makes them.
Feel that you care about them,
they remember that.
It's anchored to the experience and the emotion and what do you
think's going to be what is taken with them long term?

(11:48):
Oh my gosh,
that was the best experience.
We loved her.
We loved him.
We loved going there.
We loved our time with them.
That's relationship.
It sways away from my child quit getting in trouble at school.
My child was less aggressive afterward.
My child no longer was scared to sleep in their own bed.

(12:11):
Was that the reason they came?
Yes.
Was that important?
Yes.
Was it a noticed outcome?
Of course,
or we wouldn't have terminated,
but noticed that that's not even the focus.
It completely shifts away from the clinical
and it becomes personal and relational.
That is only achieved when you take the
time to invest in relationship with your families.

(12:33):
So we talked about setting up the playroom.
Look,
you can't,
you can't have any families come to you if you don't have a playroom ready to go.
Now we're talking through what does the week to week
interaction look like
because this is the next step.
You get an hour each week
to have impact.
What does that hour look like?

(12:54):
It can't all be clinically focused.
It can't all be child focused.
So I hope that this encourages you.
I hope that you have a different frame maybe or a different focus moving forward
because this absolutely has to be for us to really
be effective in our work.
We have to be able to approach it with this mindset

(13:16):
that the relationship with parents is just as
important as the relationship with our clients.
All right y'all,
I love you.
It was great hanging out with you.
We'll talk again soon.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.
Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and resources,
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.