317 | CCPT with Tweens: Navigating the Shift from Play to Conversation

In this episode, I respond to a thoughtful question from Dearbhla in Ireland about working with a 12-year-old client who prefers to talk rather than engage in traditional play. As children get older, CCPT sessions often look different—more conversational, more cognitive, and more activity-based. I explore how this developmental stage influences the nature of the session and why talking, even about seemingly mundane topics, is still meaningful.

I also offer reassurance that when we stay true to the model—providing presence, acceptance, and relationship without pressure or agenda—we're doing exactly what the child needs. If you've ever wondered whether “just talking” in session is enough, or felt the pull to “do more,” this episode is your reminder to trust the process, trust the child, and trust the model.

PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click!

If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪[phone]‬, or email: [e-mail]
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APT Approved Play Therapy CE courses: https://childcenteredtraining.com
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Common References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
a master class in child-centered play therapy
and practical support and application for your
work with children and their families.
In today's episode,

(00:20):
I am answering a question from Dearbhla in Ireland,
dia duit,
all of my Irish friends.
I traveled to Ireland years ago and it was one
of my all-time favorite places that I've ever been.
I actually got to shear sheep and kiss the blarney
stone and do all kinds of really cool things.
So
I am super happy to have all of my

(00:40):
Irish friends as a part of the Play Therapy Podcast family,
and I'm excited to answer this question.
This is about an older child,
12 years old,
and that she's coming in and talking.
And just some dialogue about how to
understand what's going on and address an older child that is more talkative.
So Dearbhla really grateful for

(01:02):
the question and we'll dive in in just a second.
Briefly,
I just want to say
to everyone in the states,
happy 4th of July.
I hope that you're able to spend time with your friends and family.
And I hope that you're able to celebrate
our independence and our history and celebrate and honor
the men and women who have and are still

(01:23):
keeping us free in the armed forces.
Related aside,
for those of you who have ever served in the military or are active duty military.
Reservists,
anyone who's ever served first responders,
to all of you that
make our country what it is,
a huge thank you.
All right,
so let me read you parts of the email and then we'll process this together.

(01:47):
I'm very eager to hear your opinion on a client of mine,
and I would love some advice.
We're 9 sessions in,
she's a 12-year-old girl,
and all she has wanted to do and still wants to do is talk.
She comes into the playroom,
turns to me,
and starts straight into her news.
I understand how important it is for her to be heard and listened to,
and that's exactly what she's gotten from me over 9 weeks.
However,
I can't help but feel that she needs more or I could do more.

(02:10):
I have squishy balls left out that she sometimes uses when she's talking.
I know I can't direct her to anything else.
Is she just avoiding dealing with her emotions?
She did speak a little about her frustrations about
her sister and her friends two weeks ago,
which I felt was a shift,
but she went back to speaking about everyday stuff last week.
I always reflect her words and feelings.
I'd be so grateful if you could let me know if I can

(02:32):
do anything more or even the assurance that I'm not wasting her time.
All right.
So much to unpack in this one.
First and foremost,
we know
that a 12 year old is on the older end of the CCPT spectrum,
and often when we hit that 12, 13,
14 year old range,
we are looking at a shift in the way the sessions look.

(02:53):
In other words,
it is not play-based as much as it is activity based
and or it's much more conversational in nature.
So what we understand is that they're on the cusp
of abstract reasoning and or they've just recently developed it,
if they're in that 12, 13,
14 year old range.
So they're going to be a little more cognitive,

(03:14):
they're going to be a little more conversational,
they will feel more comfortable with dialogue.
And while they will likely not play in the early stages,
they will like to do something as an activity that occupies their hands,
so they might want to doodle or swirl their fingers through the sand
or throw a ball against a wall and catch it repeatedly.

(03:36):
There's typically some kind of
hand involvement
that allows them to feel more comfortable talking.
Sometimes they'll actually play card game,
board game.
Shoot the crossbow,
try to hit targets,
some kind of competence based play,
but generally speaking,
we know the older kids are more activity driven

(03:57):
and they are more conversational.
So what you're describing Dearbhla is actually really
common and appropriate.
A 12 year old is likely to come in and talk.
And she
starts straight into her news,
you said
she has been sharing.
Everyday stuff and then talked about her

(04:17):
frustrations with her sister and her friends.
You're only 9 sessions in.
You're still in the early stages of therapy.
When she talked about her frustrations about her sister and her friends,
that was likely a dip the toe in the water moment.
She wanted to know how she felt about it,
how you felt about it,
if you could handle it,

(04:37):
if she could handle it.
How
is this going to feel after I am more vulnerable and more raw and more open?
And often when kids do that they backpedal a little bit for the next couple of weeks
because they realized,
oh,
OK,
that was a little much.
I don't know that I wanna go that deep again just yet,
so let me go back to some easier stuff to talk about,

(05:01):
but the fact that she did go deeper,
it was in fact a shift,
and that means that there will be more to come.
Our neutrality matters in these types of sessions.
It matters in every session,
but specifically with an early in the process older child,
they're going to test
how things go
when they become more open.

(05:22):
And if they can trust you and you're unfazed,
and you remain neutral and you continue to reflectively respond,
they will eventually say,
OK,
I know that we can move forward and I can talk about more.
Talking in and of itself is not
inherently a problem in sessions.
It can be a sign that kids are avoiding doing the work that they need to do,

(05:46):
but that's not the impression that I get when I read this.
This seems like
she's building up to diving into deeper topics.
There's
a huge similarity in when we first get to know someone,
even as adults.
Have you ever been around that person that you meet
them and within 10 minutes they're talking about all this
really personal stuff and you're so caught off guard and

(06:08):
it just makes everything a little bit awkward and uncomfortable?
Similarly,
teens,
12, 13,
14 year olds,
they kind of ease in
to opening up and starting to talk about personal things.
That's a natural order.
So she did,
she backed off a little bit.
You mentioned that you have squishy balls left
out that she sometimes uses when she's talking.

(06:30):
There's the reflection of kids have a reduction
of inhibitions if their hands are doing something.
We know this.
So she likely just wanted to squish the balls.
It gave her a little bit of confidence to share what she needed to share.
When you said,
I can't direct her to do anything else,
is she just avoiding dealing with her emotions?
Doesn't seem that way.

(06:51):
I would be so grateful if you could let me know that I,
if I can do anything more.
And or the reassurance that I'm not wasting her time.
The nature of CCPT.
Is that it's
unconditional acceptance
and its relationship.
If you,
every single time she comes,
preserve the relationship,

(07:12):
maintain the relationship
and communicate unconditional acceptance.
And that you trust her to do the work that she's going to do in her way in her time.
That's exactly what you should be doing.
There is no agenda.
There's no plan.
There's no push.
There's no timeline.
I trust you to do the work that you need to do in your way in your time.

(07:36):
I'll stay out of your way.
I will reflectively respond.
I will be fully present.
I'm here.
I hear you.
I understand.
I care and I delight in you.
That is the most important thing that you can do for her,
Dearbhla.
It's not about activity.
It's not about
directives.
It's not about doing something.
It's about being.

(07:57):
So,
in,
in a shorter answer,
I am reassuring you that you are not wasting her time
and
I do not think you should be doing anything more.
Remain adherent to the model.
Believe in her ability to self-actualize.
You're in early days,
you're 9 sessions in.
So wait it out,

(08:17):
have patience,
trust the process,
trust the model,
and there will be a session she comes in
and she dives much deeper,
or she starts to play,
or she does both.
Because we have to believe that kids know what they need
and they'll do the work when they're willing and able to do so.
So I hope that that encourages you

(08:37):
again,
Dearbhla,
thanks for the email.
Reminder,
last time,
next Monday,
July 7th,
we're providing you with a code for the CPRT course.
So stay tuned.
We're actually gonna do a Monday podcast,
which I never do,
but we're gonna do a Monday podcast specifically to provide you with the code.
So,
happy 4th in the states.

(08:58):
Have a great weekend otherwise,
and we'll talk real soon.
Love you all.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.
Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and resources,
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.