When It Feels Like “Nothing” Is Happening in Session—How to Add Variety Without Losing the Model

In this episode, I respond to a question from Melissa in Colorado about how to handle sessions where children aren't showing much emotion or verbalizing content—especially when they spend multiple sessions simply coloring. Melissa shared that she often feels stuck repeating the same reflective responses and unsure of how to engage meaningfully when the play seems minimal or quiet.

I unpack the differences between tracking behavior, reflecting content, and reflecting feelings, and offer strategies for building variety in your responses—including using narrative commentary and practicing outside of session to build confidence. I also explore why we need to trust the process and avoid assuming a lack of play or emotion means a lack of substance. Every moment in the playroom has meaning, and our job is to stay grounded, observant, and faithful to the model—even when it looks quiet from the outside.

I just released THREE new CEU courses at Core Wellness.  This is my most ADVANCED 4-Pillars training I have ever done.  Check it out here: ChildCenteredTraining.com

PlayTherapyNow.com is my HUB for everything I do! playtherapynow.com. Sign up for my email newsletter, stay ahead with the latest CCPT CEU courses, personalized coaching opportunities and other opportunities you need to thrive in your CCPT practice. If you click one link in these show notes, this is the one to click!

If you would like to ask me questions directly, check out www.ccptcollective.com, where I host two weekly Zoom calls filled with advanced CCPT case studies and session reviews, as well as member Q&A. You can take advantage of the two-week free trial to see if the CCPT Collective is right for you.

Ask Me Questions: Call ‪[phone]‬, or email: [e-mail]
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Twitter: @thekidcounselor https://twitter.com/thekidcounselor
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Common References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G.L. (2023). Play Therapy: The Art of the Relationship (4th ed.). Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
You're listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr. Brenna Hicks,
your source for centered and focused play therapy coaching.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Brenna Hicks,
The Kid Counselor.
This is the Play Therapy Podcast where you get
a master class in child-centered play therapy
and practical support and application for your
work with children and their families.
In today's episode,
I am answering a question from Melissa in Colorado.

(00:23):
Hello to my Coloradans.
I don't know how that's how you say that,
but
My cousin actually lives in Colorado.
He used to live outside of Erie and now he lives outside of Boulder.
So I would love to come visit him at some point and
meet up with all of you.
So I'll let you all know if,
if I make my way out west.
So Melissa's question is about

(00:46):
content reflection and feeling reflection in the playroom,
and she feels like that's a struggle,
so she's kind of processing some scenarios where she finds that difficult
and so we'll be able to talk through that together.
By the way,
related to comment on the
reflective responses.
I just closed out my 3 week training with Corwell on the advanced pillars,
and a huge thank you to all of you that attended,

(01:08):
and I know many of you are
collective folks and coaching folks,
and so it was so fun to interact with y'all and spend 3 Fridays in a row.
So I really appreciate y'all being a part of that.
If you all did not have the chance to attend live,
you can watch those on demand.
And so if you want to check that out,
go to childcentered Training.com
and you'll be able to see the on-demand version of those training courses,

(01:31):
and that's 9 CEs.
So just wanted to make you aware and say thank you to those of you that attended.
We,
we had a fun time hanging out for 3 Fridays.
OK,
so Melissa,
you're feeling like the content reflection and emotional
reflection are hanging you up a little bit.
So let's read a little bit of the email and then we'll dive in.
I'm seeking guidance on how to

(01:52):
effectively use CCPT for the kids I work with in the future.
For more context,
I feel like I'm lacking in content
reflection and emotional reflection in the playroom.
The reason that I feel like I lack the emotional and content reflection is that
it seems like my kids are not doing much in the playroom for me to reflect
the first few sessions.
For example,
most kids I've worked with start coloring for about 4

(02:13):
to 5 sessions before they transition into other play.
While the kids are coloring,
I'm only able to reflect about three things.
You decided you want to use that color.
You're making sure the drawing painting is turning out the way you like.
You decided on a different color,
and I end up repeating what I've already said.
We've all been there.
Then when it comes to emotions,
they don't seem to show much emotion,
so I rarely reflect them.

(02:34):
I get annoyed with myself for not being able to say
anything new and see that sometimes my kids are also annoyed
that I keep saying what they're doing like a robot.
I also find myself stumbling on content or emotions when there is more context.
I'm wondering if you have any tips on how I can
expand on reflecting content or feelings when there seems to be
no new substance or work on being more confident in my

(02:55):
reflection as well as how often I should be reflecting.
OK,
so Melissa,
thank you for the question and
we
I mean,
early,
early on in the podcast,
you know,
I,
when I went through the,
the basic seminal content,
we talked about
the three reflective responses pretty in depth,
and we kind of went through the process of what that looks like,
but
I do find it is tricky

(03:17):
to
extend beyond just the basics.
So once we've been doing this a while.
We learn to work in some other things
and it becomes a little bit more conversational and fluid rather than just
attract behavior,
I reflect content,
I reflect feeling that can become quite monotonous and actually
a little bit annoying for both us and the kids.

(03:39):
So
this is a really helpful question.
Thanks,
Melissa.
I appreciate it.
OK,
so here's
my comment on the first part of this.
You said,
I feel like I'm
struggling to do this because my kids aren't doing
much in the playroom for the first few sessions.
All right,
well,
I think first and foremost we have to understand
the process a little bit here and trust it.
I actually don't think that you're struggling because

(04:01):
they're not doing much in the playroom.
I think you're struggling because you're not trusting the process
and recognizing that that's actually really normal and appropriate behavior.
So we need to look at phases.
The very first part of
the process is the initiation phase.
Kids are trying to figure out what this is all about.
You're a stranger,

(04:21):
it's a strange room,
it's a strange process,
and they're coming in.
There's a lot of investigating,
there's a lot of exploring,
and there's a lot of relationship building,
rapport building trust building.
Funding,
all of those things are taking place.
It's very common
for kids not to really engage in a whole lot
for any length of time,

(04:42):
especially in those 1st 4 to 5 sessions.
Why?
Because they're not even sure what this is all about.
They don't know you,
they don't trust you,
they have no sense of this whole,
you get to play with all the toys in most of the
ways that you want and you're in charge when you're here.
That that's all a foreign concept to kids.
So
it's appropriate for them to flit around,

(05:02):
not really settle on things,
do safe play,
just kind of explore and see what this is all about.
So we can't have expectations that they're going to quote do important work
in those early weeks.
So I think maybe the hang up in that scenario is.
You're just not familiar enough with the normality of what you're describing
and therefore it's making you uncomfortable when in reality,

(05:25):
that's actually a very normal process.
So I think that may help with that piece.
You also mentioned that they start coloring for 4 to 5 sessions.
That's safe play.
Coloring is
predictable,
it's consistent,
it's easy.
They can govern it.
There are no surprises,
and it doesn't require vulnerability.

(05:48):
So it makes sense that in that initiation phase,
kids are going to feel comfortable coloring
and maybe not comfortable doing other things.
So that also is very normal and appropriate.
So when you said you end up really being able to track only a few things.
OK,
I wanna make it really clear because you're using the phrase reflecting content,
but what I think you mean is tracking behavior.

(06:10):
So let me make sure this is clear,
especially for those of you that may be new to the podcast.
So glad you're here.
Welcome.
This is an incredible family of CCPTs,
so you have found your tribe for sure.
If you are new and you are not familiar with the
really basic seminal CCPT or even if you think you are,
I would highly encourage you to go back and listen to episode one and go in order,

(06:32):
binge listen,
speed me up so that you can get two in for the same amount of time,
whatever you need to do,
go and start an order.
It will give you really deep seminal training in the whole model.
So just for discussion's sake,
let's be really clear.
The three reflective responses are reflecting
feelings where the child expresses an emotion

(06:52):
and we respond back with what the child has expressed.
You are feeling word optional qualifier,
so that's reflecting feelings.
Reflecting content is we say back to the child what the child has said out loud.
So child says something and we summarize or paraphrase
what the child has said in a very short response

(07:13):
and we give it to them back.
What they said to us,
we say back.
Tracking behavior is when we say what the child is doing.
And Melissa,
I think that's actually what you're referring to when you described,
you decided you wanted to use that color,
you're making sure it's turning out the way that you like.
Those are tracking behavior responses,
not reflection of content.

(07:34):
So I think that you meant tracking behavior,
which is when you say what the child is doing.
Just wanted to make sure that was really clear for
anyone that hasn't been well versed in the reflective responses.
So,
we absolutely want to do that when a child is
not talking,
so we can't reflect content.
When a child isn't clearly expressing emotion,

(07:54):
we can't reflect feeling.
We're left with tracking behavior.
So we are going to say things like,
you chose that color.
Now,
that's actually
an esteem building response because if we say you decided or you chose,
that's a hybrid.
So we're actually getting an esteem building and
a
Tracking of behavior,
phrase together.
That's helpful.

(08:15):
You're making sure the drawing is turning out the way that you like.
That's a little bit of an enlargement,
as well as a tracking.
So you're doing a lot of hybrids,
whether you know it or not,
Melissa,
and
you chose a different color.
Again,
that's uh an esteem building response as well as a tracking of behavior.
When we
run out of

(08:36):
tracking behavior options,
you know,
the child's using the same color
over and over and over again and just filling in a whole area of purple.
You know,
they made a shape and they're coloring the whole thing in purple.
You can only say so many times,
oh,
you're coloring that part,
now you moved over there,
you changed direction.
Oh,
you're making sure you get every spot filled up.

(08:58):
OK,
that,
and no wonder you feel annoyed,
no wonder they sometimes get a little bit annoyed.
It can't sound robotic.
It can't sound like you're just
giving a play by play of everything that happens.
So the way that you work around that is you balance tracking of behavior,
which is the simple,
this is what I see you doing.

(09:19):
Oh,
you grabbed that marker.
You're coloring that spot in,
you're filling the whole thing in.
OK,
simple tracking of behavior phrases.
We want to balance that with some narration
and some narrative summary or commentary.
So the way that you do that is you integrate almost on in every other

(09:39):
comment pace.
You track
and then you narrate.
So narrate might look might look like,
oh,
you have something in mind for over there.
Notice that
the child stopped maybe coloring the purple
square.
And was looking at the other edge of the page.

(10:00):
OK,
so you,
you're going to provide a little bit of narration
and observation rather than specific tracking.
So
the tracking is very simple
just about behavior,
and that is what becomes really laborious
and monotonous and therefore irritating often.

(10:21):
So the balance to be struck is making sure that we're narrating
what we see happening.
That will balance it out a little bit
so that the child doesn't feel like you're just
commenting the same thing over and over again and it gives you more
in your repertoire to share out loud with the child.
And make you not feel like,

(10:41):
oh gosh,
I really have nothing to say,
but the same phrase over and over and over again.
And then you said you find yourself
stumbling when there's more context and emotions.
OK,
so that's just a a practice.
So
make sure that you build your own emotional vocabulary,
number one.
It's really difficult for us to reflect feelings
if we do not have a robust enough emotional vocabulary ourselves.

(11:04):
I talked a lot about that in the Advanced Reflecting Feelings workshop.
You have to do your own work.
You have to have a really large emotional vocabulary.
In order to actively reflect children's feelings,
you can't default to happy,
sad,
mad,
and scared.
It's not enough.
So that's your own work that needs to come in

(11:25):
as far as the tracking of behavior or reflecting content when there's more context,
that's just a practice scenario.
And my favorite thing,
I've mentioned this several times,
but my favorite thing
is
think of a scenario in my head when I'm not in a playroom.
That happens pretty regularly and I challenge myself to practice the skill.

(11:46):
So if I'm struggling with limit setting,
if I'm struggling with reflective responses,
if I'm struggling with encouragement,
whatever the scenario is,
I
pose a scenario in my head.
Child is coloring a picture,
not saying a word for 10 minutes.
Go.
And I forced myself to practice

(12:06):
what I would say,
how I would say it,
what I would work in,
what skills I would be using.
Because if you wait until you're in a session with a child
and try to do it,
it's really difficult in real time,
but if you've practiced it outside of the playroom,
it becomes muscle memory
and it is far easier to implement

(12:27):
when it's a little bit more
rote rather than I'm trying to fumble my way through it
when I haven't really had a lot of practice doing it,
so that would be a huge strategy that I would implement.
And
when you said there's no new subs no no new substance or work,
you find it difficult to be confident in what you're saying.

(12:47):
I,
I want to challenge that notion a little bit
for all of us because I think all of us
get caught up in thinking that way sometimes.
Every single thing
that happens in the playroom
has substance.
Every single thing that happens in the playroom
is related to their work that they're doing.
There's always significance.

(13:07):
It's always valuable.
They don't have to talk.
They don't have to play.
There's no expectations,
only expectancy.
We have to be really careful that we're not
inadvertently
or,
you know,
kind of as an underhanded thing,
wanting kids to do certain things.

(13:29):
Anything that they do,
whether they avoid,
whether they resist,
whether they jump in,
whether they're hesitant,
whether they're quiet,
whether they're loud,
they're Tasmanian devil,
they're room wrecking,
they're mess making,
they're crying,
they're
running out to the lobby to see mom,
they refuse to come back to the playroom,
whatever the scenario is,
it does not matter.

(13:50):
It is
full of substance,
it is part of their work and it is
noteworthy.
It's important,
it's needed.
So we have to be careful
that we don't
have
an expectation in our head
of what this looks like
we trust the child,
we trust the process,

(14:11):
we trust the model
and when we're able to do those things,
even when we have quiet sessions,
even when we have sessions where the kid colors the whole time.
Even when we have a session where the child doesn't give us a whole lot to work with.
I mean,
look,
emotions are
often nonverbally communicated,
so that's another skill we need to build is our ability to
look at the child's facial expression and recognize what the emotion is.

(14:35):
We,
we have to be adept
at recognizing microexpressions on a child's face because they're
very unlikely to tell you how they're feeling.
It's going to be behavioral or facial.
So that's another thing we need to build is our capacity to recognize those things.
But look,
a child isn't necessarily going to be overly emotional every single session

(14:56):
doesn't mean that they're not working through things and feeling things.
They may not say a whole lot
across the session
doesn't mean they're not processing and working through things.
Even if a child comes in and chooses not to do
anything but sit on the floor for the entire 50 minutes.
So what can you track other than your choosing to just sit?
You're sitting right there on the floor.

(15:18):
You're choosing to just sit in the middle of the playroom.
I mean,
you can only say that so many times,
right?
But that's also an indication of the work
and the substance of what they're processing.
So,
Melissa in Colorado,
thank you so much for the question.
I hope that that's helpful to all of you.
We all have those moments where we can doubt,
where we can second guess,

(15:39):
where we don't feel confident,
where we're not really sure what to do or why.
And so hopefully that gives you some strategies so that it seems
a little bit easier when you're in that situation in the future.
All right,
you know how much I love you.
I appreciate you hanging out with me each week.
We'll talk again soon.
Bye.
Thank you for listening to the Play Therapy Podcast with Dr.
Brenna Hicks.
For more episodes and resources,

(16:01):
please go to www.playtherapypodcast.com.