Poly-ish Movie Reviews - Episode 33: The Sex Monster

This movie occasionally gets mentioned in discussions of poly movies. But is it? Joreth reviews Sex Monster for traces of an open marriage, triads, or any polyamory.

 

I just watched the most godawful movie ever.  Well, to be fair, this movie was not on a poly movie list, it was recommended to me by Netflix when I added a bunch of movies from some poly movie list.  And, historically, Netflix's suggestions based on poly movie additions are shit.  So I was expecting this to be bad.

This movie completely lived up to all my expectations.

"Building contractor Marty Barnes has always wondered what it would be like to share a bed with two women and, to his delight, he persuades his reluctant wife, Laura, to try it.  The experience fulfills Marty's wildest dream ... until Laura morphs into a walking sex machine who seduces every woman in sight -- including Marty's secretary."

So yeah, you all should be able to guess what happened.  And I'm pretty sure that whatever you're thinking right now is exactly what happened.   There were absolutely no surprises for me in this movie at all.  It went exactly where I thought it would go.

First, we have the asshole husband who begs and pleads and pushes his wife into "trying lesbianism" for his own benefit, using every bullshit excuse I've ever heard ... "it'd be good for you", "you have the home-court advantage, you'll like it because you're a woman so you already know what to do", "no, it's not for me, it's for us", "it'll bring us closer together", "I want you to feel free to express yourself", blah blah blah. Bullshit.

So, after pestering her forever, she finally starts thinking about it.   Laura comes up with the usual list of rules that movies written by men seem to think are important to women, including "not a stranger, but not any girl who I know whom you like".  Eventually they settle on Laura's part-time co-worker at the hair salon, Didi, who is an out lesbian and who very clearly has the hots for Laura.

They invite Didi over for dinner one night, and she puts the moves on Laura while Marty encourages them.  After a couple of freakouts and a ton of liquor, they end up in a threesome that involves Marty, panting and happy, dancing downstairs at the thought of just having had a threesome, while the two ladies continue to go at it upstairs, apparently oblivious to Marty's absence.

Now, we all know the fable of RBAMP (Relationship Broken Add More People) and the Ballad Of The Unicorn Hunters, so we know how Didi's part in this story plays out.

Naturally, Laura has the best sex of her life and starts seducing every woman she meets, including Marty's secretary, his business partner's wife, his sister, and the wife of an investor that he's desperately hoping to convince to invest in his construction project.  Because all a woman has to do is have sex with another woman to be turned into a sex-crazed, predatory maniac.∼ It will automatically be the best sex ever and any woman within range will fall under the influence of lesbianism.∼   It's an STD, you know - the gayness is contagious, that's why the fundies are so afraid of it.∼

Here's what I hated about this movie:

1. Marty pushed his wife into doing something she didn't want to do, for his own selfish gain;

2. The entire fallout was blamed on Marty for having "broken the dam" and suggesting this in the first place;

3. It's better to never experiment or explore, to lock up all your desires lest they carry you away like a runaway train into a dark tunnel filled with depravity and no self-control because once you start down that track, you won't be able to stop. First it's lesbianism, then it's kinky bondage, then it's practicing surgery without a license (yes, seriously, he said that);

4. The assumption that lesbian sex is automatically better than hetero sex because of the "home-court advantage";

5. The assumption that all it takes is good sex to turn someone into a complete nymphomaniac who can't control her own behaviour and has to have sex all the time with no discrimination;

6. That this only happens to hot women;

7. The blatant use and disposal of women for the married couple's personal pleasure;

8. All women who are seduced by or interested in a hot wife will automatically be willing to have sex with the husband too;

9. Marty immediately became suspicious of every woman in the world because he imagined Laura was going to seduce her;

10. Marty was right and his paranoid accusations were justified;

11. The implicit assumption that