June 17, 2025 • 22 mins
This episode contains discussions of child loss and grief. The content may be emotionally intese or triggering for some listeners. These conversations are raw and real, and they might be triggering for some. Take breaks listening as needed, skip or come back when you are ready.
Louis Patin & Erica Honore start their podcast off by introducing themselves and diving in to their first loss, their son Austin Patin, when he was only the age of 10. They begin by being open and valunerable and expressing that they want their podcast to be raw and real. Their hopes for future epsiodes will contain everything from grief, memories, real expereinces, honesty, divorce, and real conversations. In this episode the two of them sit next to eachother and share vulnurability of losing their child and sharing details on who he was as a child. Louis & Erica share some of their favorite memories of Austin, what he enjoyed and overall try to convey his one of a kind personality to listeners. They share him being on the spectrum and what that was like for them, and him as well. This episode was recorded on Father's Day and uploaded on Austin's death anniversary, marking this the begenning to their podcast journey.
About Host
Louis Patin & Erica Honore are husband and wife, and the owners of Pondering Farms. Erica Honore is a Certified Grief Speicialist & Author of ''Loving,Losing&Living'' which is avilable on amazon thru the link below
Form of Contact:
EricaPHonore.com
Facebook/EricaPHonore
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Cheers.
(00:01):
Cheers.
Happy Father's Day.
Thank you, my love.
Welcome to Pondering Podcast.
This is not your traditional podcast.
This is a podcast that is going to cover a wide range of topics.
We have lived a life, y'all, and I know what you're thinking, not another podcast, because
(00:27):
I know everybody in they mama has a podcast, but this podcast is going to be worth listening to
My name is Erica
Worth listening to Oh because I have a lot of worthless stuff to say. Oh, yes, we're gonna get to that
Okay worth listening to my name is Erica Honore, and this is my husband
Louis Patin
(00:50):
We live on pondering farms, which is how we came up with the name pondering podcast
Actually, our daughter came up with it. Shout out to Kayla the boss
Stop, I'm the shout out King
(01:10):
Also the author of loving losing and living and this is how we got here
It all started Father's Day weekend
2006
We lost our ten-year-old son Austin he drowned while on a boating trip and
We have been
(01:32):
Navigating this grief journey ever since
You want to jump in there
About the navigation about the journey the journey. Well, it's it's long
It's still going
It's
This there's a lot of adjectives I'd like to add in there, but you know, it's words. Oh
(01:55):
It's not PG rated. No. Oh
It's it's a fucking road
Though that particular incident that started your work in grief that started my
actual
episode of
(02:16):
Living without a child
Has been difficult. It has been so
Yeah, I don't know it's just there's a lot to unpack and again, I think you know, I
Talk to you about certain things. I don't talk to you about everything when it comes to that
(02:38):
But the fact that yeah, this is something that we didn't choose to be on no, but we're here and again
my hope because I'm not a
This is not my style. This is not me. I like
personable and
Sitting down and talking with people, but you wanted me to be on the podcast
Or you asked me to and you also wanted me to so
(03:02):
You know
For you. I will do it. I
Come here not tell the people what I think but again, my message may not be for everyone
They may not connect with everyone there may be a thousand or gazillion people that may disagree with it
But that's all I can tell you is that this is my journey. This is what I went through
This is what I felt. This is how I got through and
(03:26):
Either you hopefully it will help you
And if it don't that's okay
It's okay
Hopefully you've got tools friends family that will help you through the tough things in your life because you know
I think in our
Q&A that we did last week. You were saying that grief is not just the loss of a child
Loss of a spouse or loss of a parent
(03:50):
There's a lot of grief in many different ways
Tell Pat
We were talking about this yesterday when we were at one of your functions about you know, somebody losing a limb, right?
Yeah, so I know grief comes and talking to that person who thought they were going to
And they couldn't prepare they couldn't handle it. They couldn't understand
(04:13):
So, you know the journey that we're on and this podcast that we're now embarking upon
Hopefully reach some folks
Many folks and if you could take a little piece of it, that'll help you
It's all worth my my being here
Well, thank you for that. We have a wide
(04:36):
Variety of topics. It's not just all gonna be
We gone through marital struggles we are actually divorced which is
(04:57):
Something we will get into
We in addition to losing Austin we have also lost our oldest son Donovan, so
It was nine years after Austin
Tuesday June 17th will be the 19th anniversary of us losing Austin and then July 2nd will be the
(05:20):
10-year anniversary of us losing Donovan we have
just a
full range of emotions that we've gone through a
full range of just lifestyle changes
We originally started out in California as a young married couple and now we're in, Texas
Like we just this podcast has a lot to offer a lot of different people and we hope that you will just continue to tune in
(05:47):
every episode because there's going to be something but
coming from a
Authentic and genuine perspective like we're gonna tell our truth. So this is our beautiful Austin
This is when he was around seven. I'm sorry for the glare
I know. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. There's so many cameras here
(06:11):
Okay
Trying to get it so y'all can see him. Yeah, so this frame was given to us and
In Latin Austin means August which is crazy because my birthday is August 10th
It means majestic dignity also Augustine
The definition of his personality loves society parties and friends
(06:32):
He is strong-willed
He will aid others in their trials an individual who likes romance a brilliant pacifist
Uses his mind as well as his understanding
Someone who is always in control has never-ending perseverance
I would say exactly that fit this ten-year-old who acted like he was a curmudgeoned
(06:55):
65 78. I don't know that range year old man because
He knew what he wanted to do and he knew what he absolutely was unwilling to do which was
Sit still in school
Listen to his teacher didn't have time for the teachers
They couldn't teach to her him anything. I know a lot of time listen to his parents. So
(07:20):
in his
ten years of life, I
Feel like he lived a very full
adult life he
He knew who he loved. He knew who he didn't love what he loved what he didn't love and
He wanted to experience
(07:41):
Everything to the fullest and I mean, I wish if you go into the book
There will be more stories about Austin so you could really get to know him
but he just was a unique being and soul and
He showed me
so much
About life through his eyes
(08:03):
He was also on the spectrum so he just had this unique view of the world
Oh, you didn't have time for a lot of the BS. I'm gonna call it what it is John
Austin didn't have time for bullshit. Austin was like, let's get to the point. Let's figure it out
Let's move on and that's how he was even that I would say from five to ten
(08:24):
He was like, that's not important to me. Yeah, that's not important time for it. Don't have time for that
I don't want to do that. Let's move on and
He is he I always wonder and I still wonder you know at 30
What would he be doing what what what type of man he would be but he still have those same
(08:50):
Attributes as a grown-up that he did as a kid
Yeah, there's a lot of what-ifs and wonders with him yeah, yeah, you know unlike Donovan who was a lot older
And we had those conversations and I saw him with some young man
Austin is different. I've seen again when you say Austin is different. Everybody says that but it's in a good way because he's always been
(09:16):
Yeah, he's always just he's that kid. He was always different, you know, so
Yeah, definitely marched to his own beat did not care what anybody else thought or felt if you knew Star Wars
You could
Crack the code if you knew that game cube if you had any nice car
(09:40):
There's truck. Yes, any of those things would get you into his inner circle
Quickly, yeah, but you still have to earn it you still had to earn
So I know we're gonna we're gonna do a little like light and we're gonna do a little deep
So I'm gonna go to light. I'm gonna give you a light. We just did like we just did light
(10:00):
Covered his personality. I know you got one of my favorite stories ever
When you were leaving to go somewhere and I was supposed to be watching him. I was doing takeoffs on some plans
And he was the trauma. How old was he then?
Three nearly three. He was between two and three. He was between two and three
No, he had to be a little bit old. No, and we had the Suburban there the white
(10:23):
So we did hunkery named he named all the vehicle every vehicle white Suburban was named hunkery
I don't know why not just our vehicle. Yeah, but I'll everyone's brothers and
Sister-in-law vehicles my brother-in-law Tony his vehicle. He named them all. Yep
But I was babysitting and again, we lived in California. I'm doing takeoff some plans
(10:45):
We owned our own electrical company at the time
And she had to go run an error and I had to go somewhere and he wanted to go with and you told him
No, no, not at all. I was leaving and
You were in charge of both boys, yeah
so
We just had an Amazon package
(11:07):
We're sitting out
We're sitting outside
But again, it's it's all it is what it is. This is it. Um, I was leaving he said, okay
I I'm like you got the boys. I got the boys
He is very
detail
oriented so he had his plans laid out on the little kitchen table dining room table and
(11:30):
Focus I have Barney on this. This is how far back we go Barney on who is Austin's main man and
I'm thinking it's all gonna be good. I'm gonna be gone 15 minutes tops. Go ahead. So
She proceeds to get in the car
to leave
Well, she gets in that she walks out of the house. She gets in the Suburban
(11:51):
She goes to back out of the driveway because I'd rather you pull in. This is small that we pull in
He went out after her and I didn't notice him she didn't notice him
He gets behind the Suburban
Climbs up on the bumper. You gotta tell it in the order that it happened because we didn't know that he was on
I didn't know he was on the car yet. So
(12:12):
He proceeds to get he's on the back of the Suburban holding on to the windshield wiper standing on the bumper
So now we didn't know this. I didn't know she didn't know she backs out the driveway
He's already on the car
She backs out in the street. She pulls down the street. There's a stop sign
(12:32):
Call comes up behind Erica started blowing horn. Eric is nervous. Like I don't know what the hell's going on
She proceeds to go through the stop sign
Then the car goes around her and say hey lady
You have a kid on the back of your car now Eric didn't drove a block
And into the second block and thank God thank God their stop signs
Where we lived at the time was a school zone
(12:54):
We lived right near the school and there was a stop sign on all four corners
So Erica had to go to the first stop sign stop honk honk honk honk
Goes through the stop sign thinking this person's crazy
The lady pulls up on side of her tells a story the stop sign next time sounds right there
And then I can just panic at that point. So then what happened?
(13:16):
So I I'm thinking my first thought when she's like you have a kid on the back of your car and I'm thinking
Kid is on my car. Well
Unbeknownst to me. It was our badass kid
And he just looks at me and his little body holding on to that windshield
(13:37):
Standing on the bumper. He says mom you left me
My heart like went down the bottom of my stomach on the back of that suburban for two blocks
Immediately grabbed him start sobbing put him back put him in the car. First of all, not even back
Put him in the car drove home and I come running in and I'm
(14:00):
Screaming my head off
bloody murder to Lewis and I'm like
And he's like what are you talking about
And he pointed and finally looked up from his plans and realized that there was no child
Sitting in front of him watching Barney and I know a lot of mothers and fathers can relate not to this extreme scenario
(14:24):
but the scenario of
Fathers being in charge and having no idea what was happening. It doesn't matter before the mother
For young parents that have young kids
Seconds is all it takes all it takes
Seconds, so that's the only thing a young group a young married couple with kids can take out of this
(14:47):
Seconds is all it takes and he was three. Yeah
so
again, you've got to be aware and we were
We were in them in the mode of just trying to build and grow and do all these things
We had a lot of shit going on
But seconds is all it takes right what you think is important at the time. It's probably not as important
(15:11):
as the little thing sitting in front of you, so
Again tidbits to the the young married couples with young kids
Take the time and I'm a shout out to my mom another shout out
that when we had Donovan
We were overjoyed well, he was excited we were scared we were all those
(15:31):
Fears and happiness and she said enjoy it because it goes fast. She said
Don't take it for granted
Enjoy it because it goes fast
And those were not more true words ever said to me in my entire life
Even at 21 when I lost Donovan those years were short
(15:54):
Let alone the ten years of the seven years. I had eight years ahead with Austin
Wasn't extremely short and they go by in a blip
so
Time is everything your time is the most valuable asset you have
With your loved ones with yourself
(16:15):
It's extremely use it wisely. That's all I can say use it wisely
We have a lot of stories to share and we hope
That you will come and sit with us
every episode
We welcome
questions we welcome guests
(16:37):
We are going to just keep this going I cuz I know our story has value and our I know our journey is
going to help
someone wherever they are at and like I said, we're gonna do light and we will do heavy and
We could may start off light and it may get heavy or we may start off heavy and it could get light facts. I
(17:02):
Can't guarantee anybody out there what you're gonna get from me
That is a darling that is a god I mean I
Don't like scripts. I don't do scripts
You asked me a question. I'm gonna give you the truth to my belief and I'm gonna keep saying that because
in this whole social world that we didn't grow up with but that we learned to adapt to and
(17:26):
The podcast and all this stuff that's out there
there's a lot of keyboard warriors that
Will try to put kinks and everybody's I'm not gonna say armor, but just try to knock down your sandcastle you say that
right
But my sandcastle is built the way I want my sandcastle to look and this is what was dealt to me
(17:48):
Your sandcastle is your sandcastle
If they match and great if they don't match that's okay
But you know, it's just far too many times and we're living in a very tumultuous time in this world
Not just in America, but in the world that
Love and kindness
We need it more than ever
(18:08):
We need it more than ever because you don't know what the person next to you is going through
Because of their grief journey is different
than yours, it may not be that they lost a child or a parent or a
Sibling or whatever the case may be they can agree with something totally different
and because you don't
(18:30):
Connect with it and don't understand it doesn't mean you got to talk bad about it or be negative to them
We need more love in the world need more kindness in this world. So
God bless you all. Love you all and
Tune in to whatever loose is gonna say next
because I have a lot of
(18:51):
Luisms
They do say they're losing
Because you know, I'm gonna save the yourself one for later
We had to do that one on the Donovan episode
Yeah, cuz I was talking to him when I said that so but also like people don't understand
When they are struggling that it is grief because we don't know as a society how to talk about grief. I
(19:14):
Define grief as any brokenness that you are carrying in your heart. So it could be about your job
It could be about your finances. It could be about your friendship circle. It could be that
You know your clothes don't fit. It could be any
Anything that is causing you a struggle in your heart and that is why it is
(19:37):
Really necessary to treat others with kindness because you never know what someone else is going through at that time
and I feel like I
Don't know if I'm gonna sound like a really old lady, but I know that the term is sexy
You the the Karen phrase like a lot of Karen's I did they're just carrying grief
(20:00):
unresolved grief that they don't even know they need to go after
There's even a level of grief that you can carry in your heart when you just don't feel as happy as you know
You should be it's just like this
blah and that that is a level of grief itself, so
Lou's gonna bring the fun the crazy the Lou isms
(20:24):
I'm gonna bring the logic and the grief education
non-educational
Because we're gonna talk about farming and cows and and then then we'll go into I would like to like on our
Podcast about what we're talking about. But I mean, you know like
Some cow knowledge, right? Did you know?
(20:47):
What do you know about cows, did you know cows had two stomachs I did I do that. Yeah. Yeah, how you know, I
Learned it in school. Shout out to Gary
You've been talking to Gary
You know that yeah, well I knew that I knew that in California
(21:11):
No, yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. I did what I'm gonna bring
In California because I went to school anyway, yes
Thank you so much for tuning in with us and we will see you next time. Oh
Don't forget the podcast is going to be on I heart radio
(21:36):
Apple podcasts and
Spotify I don't think it's Spotify. I think maybe another one but it's gonna be all the places and we're gonna show notes
To show you where you can find the book
Loving losing and living as well as my website at Erica P
Honore comm we will give you all the information to find us on all the things
(22:00):
I would like to I would like questions on what you want to hear Louie's and John and
Our video will be on Facebook tik-tok
And my website. There's a lot of plugs
Thank you so much
Hi, bye
(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited to remove this message.) Cheers.
(00:01):
Cheers.
Happy Father's Day.
Thank you, my love.
Welcome to Pondering Podcast.
This is not your traditional podcast.
This is a podcast that is going to cover a wide range of topics.
We have lived a life, y'all, and I know what you're thinking, not another podcast, because
(00:27):
I know everybody in they mama has a podcast, but this podcast is going to be worth listening to
My name is Erica
Worth listening to Oh because I have a lot of worthless stuff to say. Oh, yes, we're gonna get to that
Okay worth listening to my name is Erica Honore, and this is my husband
Louis Patin
(00:50):
We live on pondering farms, which is how we came up with the name pondering podcast
Actually, our daughter came up with it. Shout out to Kayla the boss
Stop, I'm the shout out King
(01:10):
Also the author of loving losing and living and this is how we got here
It all started Father's Day weekend
2006
We lost our ten-year-old son Austin he drowned while on a boating trip and
We have been
(01:32):
Navigating this grief journey ever since
You want to jump in there
About the navigation about the journey the journey. Well, it's it's long
It's still going
It's
This there's a lot of adjectives I'd like to add in there, but you know, it's words. Oh
(01:55):
It's not PG rated. No. Oh
It's it's a fucking road
Though that particular incident that started your work in grief that started my
actual
episode of
(02:16):
Living without a child
Has been difficult. It has been so
Yeah, I don't know it's just there's a lot to unpack and again, I think you know, I
Talk to you about certain things. I don't talk to you about everything when it comes to that
(02:38):
But the fact that yeah, this is something that we didn't choose to be on no, but we're here and again
my hope because I'm not a
This is not my style. This is not me. I like
personable and
Sitting down and talking with people, but you wanted me to be on the podcast
Or you asked me to and you also wanted me to so
(03:02):
You know
For you. I will do it. I
Come here not tell the people what I think but again, my message may not be for everyone
They may not connect with everyone there may be a thousand or gazillion people that may disagree with it
But that's all I can tell you is that this is my journey. This is what I went through
This is what I felt. This is how I got through and
(03:26):
Either you hopefully it will help you
And if it don't that's okay
It's okay
Hopefully you've got tools friends family that will help you through the tough things in your life because you know
I think in our
Q&A that we did last week. You were saying that grief is not just the loss of a child
Loss of a spouse or loss of a parent
(03:50):
There's a lot of grief in many different ways
Tell Pat
We were talking about this yesterday when we were at one of your functions about you know, somebody losing a limb, right?
Yeah, so I know grief comes and talking to that person who thought they were going to
And they couldn't prepare they couldn't handle it. They couldn't understand
(04:13):
So, you know the journey that we're on and this podcast that we're now embarking upon
Hopefully reach some folks
Many folks and if you could take a little piece of it, that'll help you
It's all worth my my being here
Well, thank you for that. We have a wide
(04:36):
Variety of topics. It's not just all gonna be
We gone through marital struggles we are actually divorced which is
(04:57):
Something we will get into
We in addition to losing Austin we have also lost our oldest son Donovan, so
It was nine years after Austin
Tuesday June 17th will be the 19th anniversary of us losing Austin and then July 2nd will be the
(05:20):
10-year anniversary of us losing Donovan we have
just a
full range of emotions that we've gone through a
full range of just lifestyle changes
We originally started out in California as a young married couple and now we're in, Texas
Like we just this podcast has a lot to offer a lot of different people and we hope that you will just continue to tune in
(05:47):
every episode because there's going to be something but
coming from a
Authentic and genuine perspective like we're gonna tell our truth. So this is our beautiful Austin
This is when he was around seven. I'm sorry for the glare
I know. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. There's so many cameras here
(06:11):
Okay
Trying to get it so y'all can see him. Yeah, so this frame was given to us and
In Latin Austin means August which is crazy because my birthday is August 10th
It means majestic dignity also Augustine
The definition of his personality loves society parties and friends
(06:32):
He is strong-willed
He will aid others in their trials an individual who likes romance a brilliant pacifist
Uses his mind as well as his understanding
Someone who is always in control has never-ending perseverance
I would say exactly that fit this ten-year-old who acted like he was a curmudgeoned
(06:55):
65 78. I don't know that range year old man because
He knew what he wanted to do and he knew what he absolutely was unwilling to do which was
Sit still in school
Listen to his teacher didn't have time for the teachers
They couldn't teach to her him anything. I know a lot of time listen to his parents. So
(07:20):
in his
ten years of life, I
Feel like he lived a very full
adult life he
He knew who he loved. He knew who he didn't love what he loved what he didn't love and
He wanted to experience
(07:41):
Everything to the fullest and I mean, I wish if you go into the book
There will be more stories about Austin so you could really get to know him
but he just was a unique being and soul and
He showed me
so much
About life through his eyes
(08:03):
He was also on the spectrum so he just had this unique view of the world
Oh, you didn't have time for a lot of the BS. I'm gonna call it what it is John
Austin didn't have time for bullshit. Austin was like, let's get to the point. Let's figure it out
Let's move on and that's how he was even that I would say from five to ten
(08:24):
He was like, that's not important to me. Yeah, that's not important time for it. Don't have time for that
I don't want to do that. Let's move on and
He is he I always wonder and I still wonder you know at 30
What would he be doing what what what type of man he would be but he still have those same
(08:50):
Attributes as a grown-up that he did as a kid
Yeah, there's a lot of what-ifs and wonders with him yeah, yeah, you know unlike Donovan who was a lot older
And we had those conversations and I saw him with some young man
Austin is different. I've seen again when you say Austin is different. Everybody says that but it's in a good way because he's always been
(09:16):
Yeah, he's always just he's that kid. He was always different, you know, so
Yeah, definitely marched to his own beat did not care what anybody else thought or felt if you knew Star Wars
You could
Crack the code if you knew that game cube if you had any nice car
(09:40):
There's truck. Yes, any of those things would get you into his inner circle
Quickly, yeah, but you still have to earn it you still had to earn
So I know we're gonna we're gonna do a little like light and we're gonna do a little deep
So I'm gonna go to light. I'm gonna give you a light. We just did like we just did light
(10:00):
Covered his personality. I know you got one of my favorite stories ever
When you were leaving to go somewhere and I was supposed to be watching him. I was doing takeoffs on some plans
And he was the trauma. How old was he then?
Three nearly three. He was between two and three. He was between two and three
No, he had to be a little bit old. No, and we had the Suburban there the white
(10:23):
So we did hunkery named he named all the vehicle every vehicle white Suburban was named hunkery
I don't know why not just our vehicle. Yeah, but I'll everyone's brothers and
Sister-in-law vehicles my brother-in-law Tony his vehicle. He named them all. Yep
But I was babysitting and again, we lived in California. I'm doing takeoff some plans
(10:45):
We owned our own electrical company at the time
And she had to go run an error and I had to go somewhere and he wanted to go with and you told him
No, no, not at all. I was leaving and
You were in charge of both boys, yeah
so
We just had an Amazon package
(11:07):
We're sitting out
We're sitting outside
But again, it's it's all it is what it is. This is it. Um, I was leaving he said, okay
I I'm like you got the boys. I got the boys
He is very
detail
oriented so he had his plans laid out on the little kitchen table dining room table and
(11:30):
Focus I have Barney on this. This is how far back we go Barney on who is Austin's main man and
I'm thinking it's all gonna be good. I'm gonna be gone 15 minutes tops. Go ahead. So
She proceeds to get in the car
to leave
Well, she gets in that she walks out of the house. She gets in the Suburban
(11:51):
She goes to back out of the driveway because I'd rather you pull in. This is small that we pull in
He went out after her and I didn't notice him she didn't notice him
He gets behind the Suburban
Climbs up on the bumper. You gotta tell it in the order that it happened because we didn't know that he was on
I didn't know he was on the car yet. So
(12:12):
He proceeds to get he's on the back of the Suburban holding on to the windshield wiper standing on the bumper
So now we didn't know this. I didn't know she didn't know she backs out the driveway
He's already on the car
She backs out in the street. She pulls down the street. There's a stop sign
(12:32):
Call comes up behind Erica started blowing horn. Eric is nervous. Like I don't know what the hell's going on
She proceeds to go through the stop sign
Then the car goes around her and say hey lady
You have a kid on the back of your car now Eric didn't drove a block
And into the second block and thank God thank God their stop signs
Where we lived at the time was a school zone
(12:54):
We lived right near the school and there was a stop sign on all four corners
So Erica had to go to the first stop sign stop honk honk honk honk
Goes through the stop sign thinking this person's crazy
The lady pulls up on side of her tells a story the stop sign next time sounds right there
And then I can just panic at that point. So then what happened?
(13:16):
So I I'm thinking my first thought when she's like you have a kid on the back of your car and I'm thinking
Kid is on my car. Well
Unbeknownst to me. It was our badass kid
And he just looks at me and his little body holding on to that windshield
(13:37):
Standing on the bumper. He says mom you left me
My heart like went down the bottom of my stomach on the back of that suburban for two blocks
Immediately grabbed him start sobbing put him back put him in the car. First of all, not even back
Put him in the car drove home and I come running in and I'm
(14:00):
Screaming my head off
bloody murder to Lewis and I'm like
And he's like what are you talking about
And he pointed and finally looked up from his plans and realized that there was no child
Sitting in front of him watching Barney and I know a lot of mothers and fathers can relate not to this extreme scenario
(14:24):
but the scenario of
Fathers being in charge and having no idea what was happening. It doesn't matter before the mother
For young parents that have young kids
Seconds is all it takes all it takes
Seconds, so that's the only thing a young group a young married couple with kids can take out of this
(14:47):
Seconds is all it takes and he was three. Yeah
so
again, you've got to be aware and we were
We were in them in the mode of just trying to build and grow and do all these things
We had a lot of shit going on
But seconds is all it takes right what you think is important at the time. It's probably not as important
(15:11):
as the little thing sitting in front of you, so
Again tidbits to the the young married couples with young kids
Take the time and I'm a shout out to my mom another shout out
that when we had Donovan
We were overjoyed well, he was excited we were scared we were all those
(15:31):
Fears and happiness and she said enjoy it because it goes fast. She said
Don't take it for granted
Enjoy it because it goes fast
And those were not more true words ever said to me in my entire life
Even at 21 when I lost Donovan those years were short
(15:54):
Let alone the ten years of the seven years. I had eight years ahead with Austin
Wasn't extremely short and they go by in a blip
so
Time is everything your time is the most valuable asset you have
With your loved ones with yourself
(16:15):
It's extremely use it wisely. That's all I can say use it wisely
We have a lot of stories to share and we hope
That you will come and sit with us
every episode
We welcome
questions we welcome guests
(16:37):
We are going to just keep this going I cuz I know our story has value and our I know our journey is
going to help
someone wherever they are at and like I said, we're gonna do light and we will do heavy and
We could may start off light and it may get heavy or we may start off heavy and it could get light facts. I
(17:02):
Can't guarantee anybody out there what you're gonna get from me
That is a darling that is a god I mean I
Don't like scripts. I don't do scripts
You asked me a question. I'm gonna give you the truth to my belief and I'm gonna keep saying that because
in this whole social world that we didn't grow up with but that we learned to adapt to and
(17:26):
The podcast and all this stuff that's out there
there's a lot of keyboard warriors that
Will try to put kinks and everybody's I'm not gonna say armor, but just try to knock down your sandcastle you say that
right
But my sandcastle is built the way I want my sandcastle to look and this is what was dealt to me
(17:48):
Your sandcastle is your sandcastle
If they match and great if they don't match that's okay
But you know, it's just far too many times and we're living in a very tumultuous time in this world
Not just in America, but in the world that
Love and kindness
We need it more than ever
(18:08):
We need it more than ever because you don't know what the person next to you is going through
Because of their grief journey is different
than yours, it may not be that they lost a child or a parent or a
Sibling or whatever the case may be they can agree with something totally different
and because you don't
(18:30):
Connect with it and don't understand it doesn't mean you got to talk bad about it or be negative to them
We need more love in the world need more kindness in this world. So
God bless you all. Love you all and
Tune in to whatever loose is gonna say next
because I have a lot of
(18:51):
Luisms
They do say they're losing
Because you know, I'm gonna save the yourself one for later
We had to do that one on the Donovan episode
Yeah, cuz I was talking to him when I said that so but also like people don't understand
When they are struggling that it is grief because we don't know as a society how to talk about grief. I
(19:14):
Define grief as any brokenness that you are carrying in your heart. So it could be about your job
It could be about your finances. It could be about your friendship circle. It could be that
You know your clothes don't fit. It could be any
Anything that is causing you a struggle in your heart and that is why it is
(19:37):
Really necessary to treat others with kindness because you never know what someone else is going through at that time
and I feel like I
Don't know if I'm gonna sound like a really old lady, but I know that the term is sexy
You the the Karen phrase like a lot of Karen's I did they're just carrying grief
(20:00):
unresolved grief that they don't even know they need to go after
There's even a level of grief that you can carry in your heart when you just don't feel as happy as you know
You should be it's just like this
blah and that that is a level of grief itself, so
Lou's gonna bring the fun the crazy the Lou isms
(20:24):
I'm gonna bring the logic and the grief education
non-educational
Because we're gonna talk about farming and cows and and then then we'll go into I would like to like on our
Podcast about what we're talking about. But I mean, you know like
Some cow knowledge, right? Did you know?
(20:47):
What do you know about cows, did you know cows had two stomachs I did I do that. Yeah. Yeah, how you know, I
Learned it in school. Shout out to Gary
You've been talking to Gary
You know that yeah, well I knew that I knew that in California
(21:11):
No, yes. Yes. Okay. Yes. I did what I'm gonna bring
In California because I went to school anyway, yes
Thank you so much for tuning in with us and we will see you next time. Oh
Don't forget the podcast is going to be on I heart radio
(21:36):
Apple podcasts and
Spotify I don't think it's Spotify. I think maybe another one but it's gonna be all the places and we're gonna show notes
To show you where you can find the book
Loving losing and living as well as my website at Erica P
Honore comm we will give you all the information to find us on all the things
(22:00):
I would like to I would like questions on what you want to hear Louie's and John and
Our video will be on Facebook tik-tok
And my website. There's a lot of plugs
Thank you so much
Hi, bye
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