May 6, 2024 • 63 mins
The episode features an interview with singer-songwriter Emily Elgin. Emily shares her powerful story of overcoming trauma from an abusive childhood and domestic violence in her past relationships. She talks about how growing up witnessing domestic violence warped her understanding of love and led her to be drawn to violent partners as a young adult, despite the relationships not starting off that way.
Emily credits going to therapy as a major turning point that helped shift her mindset, unpack her traumas, and understand what a genuine, healthy partnership looks like. She became an advocate for mental health and sees vulnerability and openness as crucial for destigmatizing mental health struggles.
The conversation explores Emily's brave decision to leave her turbulent life in Oklahoma behind and move to Nashville to pursue music full-time. She shares the incredible story of how a stranger gifted her $4,000 to make the move happen after sensing her prayers for guidance. Emily reflects on the daunting challenges of being an independent artist doing the job of seven people but says her worst day in music is better than where she was before.
Emily performs a poignant excerpt from her new breakup song "It Should Have Been Raining" and discusses her musical influences like The Steel Drivers, Taylor Swift, and others. Throughout the episode, she emphasizes the importance of embracing one's unique voice and individuality as an artist, rather than chasing trends. Emily advocates for up-and-coming artists to focus on honing their distinctive artistry and being authentic, even when facing discouragement in the industry.
The episode also touches on Emily's love of horses, some comical and harrowing horse training experiences, and her thoughts on the "live forever or die trying" cowboy mentality around horseback riding. Overall, it captures Emily's resilience, her commitment to empowerment through music, and positivity in the face of life's struggles.
Links
Phantom Power Music - https://www.phantompowermusic.io/
Emily Elgin Music - https://www.emilyelginmusic.com/
00:00:00 Introduction to Positively Undefeated
00:00:19 Welcome to Positively Undefeated
00:01:11 Interview with Emily Elgin
00:02:34 The Music Industry: Independent vs. Record Deals
00:04:02 The Journey in Nashville
00:06:30 Overcoming Domestic Violence Trauma
00:10:29 Coping Mechanisms and Unhealthy Habits
00:13:51 Life-Threatening Wake-Up Call
00:14:30 Turning Point and Self-Discovery
00:18:10 Transitioning from the Ranch
00:20:25 Shared Love for Horses
00:23:49 Challenges Faced by Amateur Horse Riders
00:28:40 The Perils of Horseback Riding
00:30:18 Self-Perception in Music Talent
00:32:03 Finding Unique Voices
00:33:59 A-list Party Encounter
00:37:37 The Dark Side of Notoriety
00:47:14 Connecting Through Music Events
00:49:27 Unveiling New Music
00:54:49 Poignant Song Performance
00:56:36 Discover More About Emily Elgin
00:59:57 Embracing Vulnerability and Honesty
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I don't know if I get up today. I don't know if I give one single today,
My whole outlook is sunken gray and I have no idea why I woke up this way Got
my phone in my right hand my books on the nightstand if I unlock and I add pop
I'm stuck there I'm a dead man.
So Lord give me the strength to please read one page if it works in any way
I'll move on to the next thing.
Oh, yeah Welcome to positively undefeated.
(00:23):
This is a podcast that talks about the day-to-day struggle ordinary people have
over their demons and how each day they remain positively undefeated.
We share ideas and ways that you can empower yourself to remain strong so that
you can embrace the journey of living.
Thank you guys for tuning in to Positively Undefeated.
(00:45):
If you guys haven't had a chance, check out our website, which is evenoneless.com.
That will give you kind of how to contact us. It'll tell you more about our not-for-profit.
So if you get a chance, check it out. Also, go to your favorite podcasting application,
whether Apple, Spotify, Google Podcast, any of those. We're on those.
(01:08):
And just like and review and all that.
So, Emily, I am so glad to have you on. Emily Elgin.
I was thinking about how I originally got in contact with you through TikTok.
Talk and i think either i used your music for one of my videos or you asked
me to use one of your music for one of my videos i think that's how it started yes i'm i'm.
(01:37):
Do what? Do you live in Nashville? I do. I do. I've been here.
Actually, May 1st will be nine years since I moved here. So, yeah, it's crazy.
Oklahoma. Are you really? You mean, you know that's where I live,
right? I live in Oklahoma.
Yeah. And I looked up, you know, when you reached out to me about being on the podcast,
(01:59):
I kind of did a deep dive and looked into the foundation
that you guys started and all of those things and realized that
y'all were from oklahoma too so i thought that was cool yeah we're
in oklahoma i was born in norman but
i've lived from everywhere from lexington to
edmond you know i've just lived all all around i moved around a lot my wife
(02:23):
she's born in norman as well so we i'm sure you saw it we're in western oklahoma
right off 540 so halfway in between amarillo and oklahoma city so So, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm curious about your music. So, you know, I from what I understand,
like there's two ways to go about like as an artist, one that you can get a record deal.
(02:47):
And if you able to find a record deal with and then the other way would be more
independent where you kind of put out your own music.
Is that correct? And which way
are you trying? It looks like more you're trying to do more independent.
Yeah um that is correct there's you know with the with the era of digital streaming
(03:08):
and the internet it's just really changed the game as far as what artists are capable of doing.
Um so there are several different ways you know and i feel like everybody wants
to know well you know what's the way and there's not really a way to go about
it i am independent right now Now,
(03:29):
that's not to say that I wouldn't sign a major label deal,
but it would have to be the right deal for me to sign.
I'm really happy with being independent, although I will say being independent
is much more difficult in a lot of areas because I'm a one-woman team currently.
(03:50):
Currently, fingers crossed that this is where I get representation,
like an agent or management, but I'm currently doing the job of seven different people.
So it's, it's a lot on the day to day.
How has the, I mean, like the move to, I mean, of course you lived there for
a while now, but the move to Nashville,
I'm just curious, like as somebody trying to get their music out there and some,
(04:16):
you know, and I've watched your TikToks.
And I know it must be difficult to like get your stuff out there and get people to notice it.
I'm just curious what that journey has been like for you, like the moving and
just being there in Nashville and all that.
It's been, it's really been an incredible journey. I moved here in 2015.
(04:38):
And yes, I moved here for music, but I also moved here for a life change.
I had been getting into a bunch of trouble back home and I'd been arrested and
been to jail and just really living a lifestyle that I was really unhappy with.
And my life's, you know, I'd go out and party and everybody would see me happy
and drinking and partying, but I wasn't happy at all. I was very unhappy.
(05:03):
And so my reason for my move to Nashville was twofold.
And yes, this has been one of the absolute hardest things I've ever done in
my entire life, deciding to go into the music business, learn the business,
own and run my own company and do all of the things that is required by that path.
(05:29):
But my worst day doing this is still better than where I was.
So I think that has really helped me along my journey is when I do look back,
I can see how far I've come and I know where I would have been if I would have stayed.
Yeah. I see, you know, you talk a lot about domestic violence and,
(05:51):
you know, As I was watching some of your videos, I was thinking about that.
In fact, one of your videos, you talk about the fact that it's easy to think
that from the outside, that basically, as you say, you pick the wrong man.
But like you described, and you did well in that video, just talking about the
(06:13):
fact that for a while, there's no hint of that stuff. There's no,
you know, there might be some red flags, but nothing to that extent.
And, and I'm curious, that's definitely kind of a platform that you talk about
and write songs about too.
And so I'm just curious is kind of your experience with that.
(06:35):
And then, you know, there might be people listening that are just,
you know, kind of silently suffering, you know, in their own situation.
Situation, I would just like to know kind of your situation and then how you
kind of got out of that and out of that mentality of, you know,
in other words, putting up with it because you talk about as a kid that you had the same thing.
(06:58):
And then as an adult, you know, we hear that a lot that we're going to struggle
with the same thing our parents struggle.
And it seems like we say we're never going to be like our parents,
but then we turn around and have some similar situations.
Yeah. You know, for me, I think domestic violence is such a multidimensional and complicated issue.
(07:20):
It's not just, like I said in my video, it's not just as simple as,
oh, well, she has bad taste in men.
It's not. It's a very broad generalization for people to put on it that either
domestic violence, they don't understand it, or it makes them uncomfortable. comfortable.
So for me, I was raised in a home with domestic violence.
(07:41):
And like I said in my video, not by my biological father, my daddy is amazing.
We love him. But when my parents divorced, my mama remarried a couple of times
and her husbands were all very violent.
And so when When you grow up in a household like that, it really warps what you learn love is.
(08:07):
Because love is something that's taught to you by your parents.
And you internalize that.
And as an adult, those qualities are something that you're drawn to,
whether you know it or not.
And so as I became a young woman, I was very confused.
Although I didn't know I was confused, I thought I knew it all.
And I thought I knew exactly what I wanted out of a man and out of a relationship
(08:30):
and a potential partner for life.
And the men that I was drawn to were all very violent.
But like I said, it didn't start that way.
And whenever you have someone that hurts you physically and then apologizes
for it, the physical aspect is not the hard part.
(08:55):
Getting hit is not the worst part. It's what it does to you here and here.
And it really warps your understanding of what love is,
understanding of love for oneself and your own self-confidence and trust,
(09:15):
not only in other people, but within yourself.
And so the last abusive relationship I was in, I made a decision to not date
anymore. Nothing serious.
I would hang out and stuff, but I wouldn't ever take that next step to be in
(09:39):
a relationship. And I started going to therapy.
And I'm a huge advocate now for therapy because it has genuinely changed my life for the better.
And that is
definitely i would say
that one of the number one reasons that
(10:00):
i was able to really shift my mindset and
work through traumas from childhood young adulthood really start to understand
why things happen the way they happened and what love is what genuine partnership is rather than,
(10:20):
you know, obsession and unhealthy personal and interpersonal boundaries.
Yeah. I know it's like whenever I was really going through stuff,
I was like, I like it for me. I like found ways to cope.
And then I found out later that really those ways were not very healthy.
(10:43):
And then going extreme, like, you know, where I did that. I don't know if you've
ever heard of it. It's like called 75 hard.
It's where you work out twice a day, all this stuff.
Andy Prasini, it's his pro form. It's his company, I believe.
Anyway, but, you know, I did that and, and, you know, I felt great.
(11:04):
But then whenever it was over, it was almost like this hangover.
It's like, I didn't, you know,
you would, you think you would naturally like go to
this place where like okay well i'm gonna just work
out one time a day but i'm still gonna work
out and then i just felt like this i accomplished
it but you know
(11:26):
it really it wasn't you know working out a ton every single day and doing all
these things was a little bit of an overkill and then you take like i struggled
with you know coping with alcohol and like of course drinking too much you know
and then realizing that this wasn't good you know those different things what
kind of stuff that did you feel like that you kind of went through that same
(11:46):
thing where it's like, I'm picking maybe the extreme of the other side and.
I definitely did a bunch of drugs and drank a lot.
I really like pain pills, so I would pop a pain pill before I would go out drinking with my friends.
I would rationalize it in my head as I'm saving money on beer because I just
(12:10):
took this pill so I don't have to drink as much beer.
Yeah you know um and then eventually those led i started doing a bunch of cocaine and um.
Binge drinking and everything just kept you know
had to go one notch higher one notch higher one notch higher yeah and uh when
i still live in oklahoma city i was drinking so bad so heavy uh it had just
(12:34):
gotten really out of control and it's all under this you know bright shiny light
of we're just partying, we're just having fun.
But it got to a point that I was losing control.
And I had met this guy at a bar and went back to his apartment with him.
And he had what he told me was a hydrocodone.
(12:58):
And it ended up being Suboxone and I snorted it.
And I was really, really drunk when I snorted it.
And, um, that led me to continuing to do that.
And at one point it had got so bad that I woke up after a night of doing that
(13:23):
and I was vomiting in my sleep.
And thank God I woke up because I would have died. And I woke up vomiting and
I went to the bathroom and I was at somebody else's house and I just got this
overwhelming sense of fear. Like I just wanted to go home.
I just wanted to go home. So I got in my car and I was driving and I was over
(13:45):
off of like 36th and Penn, Northside by Penn Square Mall in Oklahoma City.
And my house was just a few miles from there and I was driving I could not stay conscious.
I would kind of pass out and then come to and I was vomiting All in the same
time trying to drive home and uh.
(14:09):
After I recovered from that I
was laying in bed and I thought This is how your dad is gonna find you um,
If you keep this up, this is what's going to happen. There is,
you know, you know where the road leads.
It leads the same place for eventually, one way or another.
(14:31):
And that's when I started to seriously consider moving and really trying to
give myself a chance to be who I was created to be.
Because I just felt, you know, obviously that I wasn't, I wasn't doing that,
but, um, I definitely used a lot of coping mechanisms.
(14:53):
I actually, during that time, I started going to AA meetings,
but when I was there, I realized I wasn't an alcoholic because I didn't have
the, I couldn't relate to anything that these people were saying.
And therapy, I realized that I was self-medicating by using these substances.
(15:19):
And my entire life, because I come from, on my mother's side,
there's a lot of alcoholism and drug use and all sorts of stuff.
And so I was told from a young age, well, you're genetically predisposed.
You're just going to be an alcoholic.
So sorry, that's just your life. you know
and now as an
(15:40):
adult i fight that entire just agenda
so hard with people because just because your parents were something that does
not define you it it it does not at all so i mean that's a pretty big move to
to nashville like from oklahoma did did i mean did you have connections there
or is it like cold turkey moved to nashville,
(16:03):
Oh, it's a weird story, but no, I didn't know anybody.
I had one friend that lived in Nashville, but I moved to Leapers Fork,
Tennessee, which is about 40 minutes south of Nashville.
And I had been looking online because I had a horse at the time.
I trained horses and stuff and wanted to bring her with me.
(16:25):
And I found an apartment that was owned by a man that ran a ranch.
Ranch long story short he uh
he ended up being a preacher and they
he ran a big 500 acre
ranch in leapers fort tennessee and there was a live-in quarters barn that was
(16:47):
available and he was needing somebody to ride colts for him so i had no i'd
never met him i had no idea who he was i didn't know what he looked like i didn't
know what the place looked like it was a craigslist ad,
And so I talked to him. He was on the phone.
And he said, what do you do for a living? I said, well, I'm a bartender.
(17:07):
He said, you drink and party? And I said, yes, sir.
And he said, well, you're going to have to limit that here on this ranch.
And he said, can you do that? And I said, yes, sir.
And he said, all right, well, come on. and I didn't have any money, that ball.
I mean, I was broke, broke, broke.
And I was laying in bed one night and I was praying and I said,
(17:32):
God, where you lead, I will follow.
And the next day at this bar that I was working at, a man comes in,
he buys a Bud Light for $3 and hands me a $100 bill and told me to keep it.
And, well, it pissed me off because I thought he was like, you know,
trying to proposition me and just hit on me, you know, and be gross.
(17:53):
So I said something rude to him and he said, no, no, no, Emily,
you and I have a mutual friend.
I've heard that you want to move to Nashville and saying, I want to help you.
Will you meet me for breakfast at this breakfast spot? So I said, yes.
And so I met him the next day and he gave me $4,000 cash.
And I moved to three weeks later. that's that's
(18:14):
pretty incredible and I don't think there's any coincidence in
that whatsoever so do you still live on the same ranch
and still are you still there or did you transition to
something else I transitioned and I will
say that was probably the hardest transition since
I've been here I lived there for six years and the property was actually for
sale the entire time um and so somebody came in and bought it and so i had to
(18:40):
move and i was i was not happy about it it was very difficult for me to to move
because that was the first place that i had.
Felt that was home since i was a very little girl
you know i mean little little that was my
first home and that felt like home and i
felt safe there and it was just a beautiful heavenly property that i mean there
(19:07):
is there's no way that i could have landed there by any orchestration of human
hands it's just not possible you know that's pretty amazing that's one thing
you and i have in common and that, you know, I love horses.
You know, I've done, we've done in the past a lot of trail riding and,
you know, stuff like that.
In fact, I rode yesterday for quite a while.
(19:29):
And I find that, like, first of all, I think a lot of horse people are crazy.
That's not saying you, but I'm saying in general, I see a lot of crazy horses.
I kind of grew up, you know, my family was poor. And so, you know,
riding horses was like, we didn't have any of the fancy stuff.
(19:51):
You see a fancy trailer and fancy, you know. And so even as an adult,
you know, where maybe I have more stuff,
but I still really manage the horses a lot like I did whenever I was younger,
you know, like we did, which more of the poor environment kind of deal.
But meaning that I don't have a fancy trailer.
(20:12):
I don't have those things. But I really enjoy doing it. And do you still have horses now?
I do. I do. And, you know, you don't have to have all of the fancy smancy stuff to enjoy it.
It's funny because the evolution of the horse is so wild because it used to be a necessity.
(20:33):
And now it's, you know, like a rich man's sport, which is really funny to me.
But yes, I do. I actually, so I lost, I had a quarter horse mare that I raised
from a foal and trained her and she was wonderful.
But unfortunately, she sustained an accident two years ago that I had to put
(20:53):
her down and I was heartbroken.
And then I had an older quarter horse as well and he passed away about six months after her.
So I waited for a while because I get very attached to my animals.
I'm very much an animal person, but I just bought an eight-year-old paint gelding
about a month ago named Kingston, and I love him. He's so cute.
(21:16):
I saw the video on that, I believe.
Does he have style or a gelding?
Do what? Is he a stud or a gilding? No, he's a gilding. He might think he's a stud, but he's not.
Like a horse. You know, it's hard to pick the right horse. It really is.
You know, it's hard to make sure that I just bought a horse recently and came from New Mexico.
(21:39):
And so I've never seen anything like it.
I've had up to like 12 horses, but right now we have three.
And we're kind of trying to build it back up and
because we just bought some land and but this
horse i have this little miniature horse and
he's a stud and he you really i got him from our
(22:01):
grand baby just thought it was cool well this thing i got this new horse and
this this miniature horse literally would not let this new horse eat would not
let it dream ran it and and And this new horse is probably 16 hands tall. I mean, big horse.
And ran him all over the pasture, you know, just, I mean, nonstop.
(22:25):
And so I ended up moving him out to the land.
And we have like five acres where we live. And then, you know, we have this land.
And so I moved him out there because he'd gotten so skinny. But I'd never seen
a little miniature horse be so abusive to this new horse.
(22:45):
And I'm like, I don't know. It's a little bit of both of them.
You know, like this, this new horse's personality is like, you know,
in the herd horse mentality, he's definitely at the bottom. And it's like, wow.
You know, and, and, and again, this little miniature horse just kind of controlled
his whole life for like two weeks.
And so I moved him. it was pretty wild i'd never seen well
(23:08):
you know how funny i grew up like
you go out and you put out feed and if they don't come then they don't get to
eat kind of that's the mentality and and so but this horse almost from the start
i'd have to go and feed him separately and go and i was like oh my god and this
is really driven by his personality but also this miniature horse so So it's pretty,
(23:31):
I mean, but he's great.
You know, I like ride them and he's, you know, you never know when you get a
horse out on, you know, for a while, how they'll act. And he acted great.
And so riding wise, he's fine. It's just this whole, you know,
he's the bottom of the herd.
It is really interesting. When I was training full time, I had a lot of,
(23:53):
I gave riding lessons too.
And I had a program and I would have clients that.
And this happens very frequently as you get people who grew up riding,
you know, and they rode just backyard horses from the age of,
you know, eight to 10 or something like that.
And then they're now in their 30s and 40s and they want to get a horse,
(24:15):
which I completely support. Yes, let's do that.
But they go out and they go to Killpins and they go to, you know,
Craigslist or wherever.
And they buy a horse that is not the right fit for them. Not that it's a bad horse.
The experience levels just don't line up and then
they get themselves in such a mess and
(24:36):
it happens all the time but fortunately
i mean people like that keep trainers in business so
it's it's a good thing and if you get a good trainer you'll be able to help
them you know either get the horse where they need to be or find a horse that's
going to be better suited for them yeah i always remind people it's like you
do realize uh a horse killed superman right because you know you think about
(24:58):
Christopher Reeves, you know, he,
he got hurt and I always give that example,
but, you know, because it's like, you, you see these, especially on TikTok or
whatever, you see these videos of this guy getting on a horse and bucking around.
And, you know, of course it gets, you know, a hundred thousand views or whatever,
but I'm like, nobody in their right mind is going to go get on some horse knowing it's going to do that.
(25:25):
You know, I think that may be a young man's game when you did when you were
young. But I'm like, you're going to get hurt if you don't, if you're not careful.
It is. And it's also a thing that I've noticed within Western culture of it
is a, it proves how tough you are and it proves how cowboy or cowgirl you are.
And I will say from firsthand experience, I was definitely that rider when I was in my early 20s.
(25:49):
I would get on anything. thing. I had built up a clientele and I dealt with
a lot of problem horses and I would get on horses that I had no business getting
on that were very dangerous.
And it would just feed my ego because people would be like, Oh,
Emily, you know, you can put her on that horse. She ain't coming off.
(26:10):
And fast forward to a call that I got one time and I had already been riding
all day and And somebody called me and they said, hey, we've got a horse out here.
I think it was in Lexington or someplace, maybe east of Lexington.
And it was this big gray corn horse mare. And he said, I said,
(26:32):
well, what's going on with her?
And he said, oh, well, she's just, you know, won't go through her gates.
And she's just kind of being fickle and, you know, attitude-y.
And my grandkids can't ride her. I want my grandkids to ride her.
And I said, all right, we'll come out. Now, long story short, she bucked me off.
And what happened was this man did not disclose everything about the mare.
(26:57):
She had actually bucked off another cowboy a week prior to me,
and he had to get shoulder surgery.
But I felt myself coming up out of the saddle when she was bucking,
so I set my shoulders back.
But when I did, she had come up and twisted, so I landed on the saddle horn.
Which compressed my spine.
(27:18):
So during that, I broke my tailbone and I also got a compression fracture and
I blacked out when that happened.
And then the next thing I remember is,
hitting the ground somehow but I'm pretty sure I hit like
this because it broke both of my wrists and then
I remember hearing this weird
(27:38):
noise and I looked down and my legs were kind of like flopping on the ground
and then I looked at my arms and they were kind of flopping on the ground and
then I realized that noise was me screaming and that's when the pain hit and
I threw up And I've never felt any kind of pain.
(27:59):
I can't even put it into words how bad it was.
But I advocate for young trainers now to just be really smart about the types
of horses that they're getting on.
And don't buy into the, you know, this is what makes you cool thing.
(28:20):
If you're going to ride rocks, do it 100%. But go to the professional that rides
bras and learn the technique. There's techniques.
There's reasons why people do this professionally.
You know what I mean? I've got some trainers out here that are phenomenal,
but they do it professionally.
And I wish that I would have listened.
(28:41):
And even after that, I mean, in 2018, I had a horse flip over on me twice.
And I had a horse in 2017 fall on top of me.
So you know i got
out a horse train and said we're gonna do music full time
got thrown like two or three years ago and
(29:02):
the horse it was like a brand new horse or
took it out riding it's supposed to be all this anyway got thrown
and that horse ran back
to the basically to the entrance and you
know we're talking about like a mile i was like a mile and
so i had to walk back and i'm like and i'm like
i'm not this is horrible i hated it um so i'm curious back to the music thing
(29:26):
so i actually you know i've kind of have some a little bit involvement in the
past with you know different artists and whatever you know let's say local we
call them red dirt bands you know, those kinds of things. Yeah.
And so, in fact, at the ranch, we had a concert a few years ago and we had like, I think 16 bands.
(29:52):
And so, yeah, yeah. And I mean, again, it was a small kind of deal,
meaning that really probably 200 people came. It wasn't, you know, huge.
And they were all new artists or people trying. But one thing that I just always
amazed I mean, I had several friends that are, that are, you know, are into music and,
(30:12):
you know, I'm, I'm curious, like, so my friend and I were talking about like.
Unfortunately, when it comes to like, let's say singing, you know,
it's it's I think a lot of people, they get the idea whether they sing well
or not, probably from other people.
They say, oh, my God, you sing so beautifully and whatever.
(30:32):
And then yet, if you take some of the most popular artists, let's say like Tyler
Childers or whoever, and you notice that they have a very neat sound, you know.
So somebody like me, I would tell you, I can't sing. I would say that.
But also, sometimes I wonder if maybe it's because in my mind,
(30:57):
I'm singing like I've heard other people sing, like a karaoke or whatever.
In other words, if I'm listening to a song on the radio driving in my truck
and I'm singing along with that song, well, obviously, I'm mimicking what I'm hearing. Right.
And maybe that song's not really even made for a voice like mine or whatever.
(31:19):
And yet I could see how somebody who really has talent could get very discouraged
or frustrated because if they're listening to the outside world,
tell them whether they can sing or not.
Yet they have this very unique, I mean, take somebody like Amy Winehouse,
or, you know, you have these artists who have this very unique sound.
(31:42):
And I think that easily somebody who's professional or somebody's just in that
they know could, you know, really discourage them because they sing differently.
And yet I think that singing differently is really what makes that artist unique.
(32:03):
And does that make sense? And yet also, man, I, I, we, I went to Nashville two
years ago and that's the first time I'd ever been to Nashville. Right.
And so I go and we went to concerts and we went to, you know,
of course the bars and listened to, and I was just blown away by the talent there.
You know, it's every, it's every.
(32:24):
And, and part of it is like, and again, I'm not a musician.
And so I'm just telling you from a non-musician person that I see they have
talent, but also you start to realize it's like, man, they do sound just like
the next person in some ways.
You know, they're not really that unique. And I can see how that'd be very difficult,
(32:45):
you know, discouraging because if you, I think here's another way to put it.
If I found like who I was in my voice and I was able to project it,
just mine, not copying anybody else, I wonder how that would be.
And yet I see like somebody like you, I could see that could be very difficult.
(33:10):
So I just want your take on that. well i
think that's that's a that's a several part
thing number one talent
is is such a deep well and some
for some people a good singer in their mind has to sound like whitney houston
(33:31):
or um you know any of these iconic very big strong powerful belty voices whereas
other people People love voices like Taylor Swift, right?
And she's got a very airy, light, floaty voice. Very different voices.
(33:52):
Arguably, still the same amount of talent, just in different areas of the talent
well, if that makes sense.
And so, it can be very discouraging. You know, when I came out here,
I had the opportunity to go to an A-list party.
(34:12):
And I'm from Oklahoma. I've never been anywhere hardly.
You know, and I get invited into this like A-list artist's birthday party just
by being at the right place at the right time.
And while I was there with a friend of mine, he introduced me to this artist's
publicist. And I in my head, you know was like this is it. This is my big break.
(34:38):
Oh my gosh so Man turns around my friend introduces me to this man.
He says hey, this is emily elgin. She's a new artist in town She's a fantastic
singer and I said hi I'm, so excited to meet you and he looks at me and he said
that's nice and turned around and kept talking Wow um,
And I said, oh, okay, awesome.
(35:03):
So, and those types of things happen, you know, was that rude of him?
He could have handled it differently. Yes. I don't think I would have treated somebody that way.
But also in that moment, yes, it hurt my feelings.
Yes. I cried about it later, but it also lit a fire in me to,
in the, in the sense of, I I don't ever want to just be something that fades into the background.
(35:31):
And when people start feeling discouraged and they start trying to chase these
sounds, they start trying to chase trends, trends fade, just like style.
All of that, what doesn't fade is your individuality.
You are at this point in time in history, the only one of you that exists and that will ever exist.
(35:52):
Exist so there lies your creative power you are the only one that can write
songs the way you write songs if you're not a good songwriter start learning
how to write songs if you think you are a really good songwriter keep working
with people that are better than you keep perfecting and.
(36:13):
Eventually somebody is going to appreciate what
you're doing now it might
not be the whole big big wide world but you will find
your audience no i it's funny
because i like you i'm sure you
sturgill simpson you know i'm sure you've listened to him you know but you hear
(36:35):
stories of like i heard that he like basically he's now just kind of reclused
on his own little you know he's not making any music anymore that's what i've
heard and so i i i see that like you have these the very unique artist.
And it's like, almost like they get tired of the public.
They get tired of, you know, the drama or they get tired of something.
(36:57):
And they're like, um, this isn't what I signed up for. I'm out, you know?
And, um, I, and I, I, I just have to assume that that's from like just the pressure
of just everything sometimes.
Yeah. You know, the music industry and I mean the entire inner entertainment,
(37:17):
industry this falls under but the music industry specifically i don't think
anyone is ever prepared for what comes with notoriety on any level um and when
you start getting into fame.
(37:38):
The things that come with that, there are a lot of things that come with that that are amazing.
It opens doors for you that you weren't able to walk through before.
Of course, financially, you're set up financially in a lot of ways that you weren't before.
But there are a lot of things that come with that that are negative and depressing
(38:04):
and scary. and just the internet in general is really mean.
I mean, the things that people have said about me on the internet,
on my posts, just tearing me down, my lyrics or my melodies or the way I look
or my hair color, calling me every name you could think of.
(38:24):
And that's also a very easy thing for people to be like, oh,
we'll just ignore the comments.
And you do, but you still see them. And sometimes they still stick with you,
especially when you are putting everything
that you have into this you literally
created something it did not exist before you
yeah and you put your love
(38:47):
and your time and your energy and your hopes and your dreams into this thing
and then you put it out into the world to share with them and they tear it down
can be extremely painful or you know just the fact that you know internet net
stalkers they're scary just there's a lot of weird stuff that comes with that but.
(39:08):
For me i've adopted me even me reaching
out to you to do this it's like you know i
know how that is because
like you know same thing with me which i'm
you know i don't do music and all that stuff the point
is is that you know i get it i get weird messages
weird you know i was doing a live one time
(39:28):
this is right after you know our big platform is you
know suicide prevention you know and i had three family
members commit suicide and so like right
after his death which part of the reason i have so many followers is because
i would post videos about that and the ranch and whatever but but i just got
the most horrible um you know comments during that time and then at one point
(39:54):
People thought I was doing a live.
I was actually, I think I was one of the few people who's ever done it.
And I'm going to continue doing it, which I would do live riding horseback.
And I did it like, you know, for an hour at a time, you know,
I just writing and people loved it.
But also, you know, like this one particular time, somebody thought that I was
(40:16):
actually my dead cousin. It was the weirdest.
And so they're making, and I didn't have a moderator. So it was insane. and I'm like.
You know, sometimes I get discouraged with it. I'm like, oh my gosh.
And then also, you know, watching one thing I really respect about you is that,
you know, I don't have to watch very many videos of yours to know kind of what
(40:38):
you're doing and what you're trying to do.
And, you know, I respect it. I respect your music and I respect what you're trying to do.
But, you know, sometimes it's all about,
for some people, it's all, of course, all about the likes and all about,
you know and it's it's it's really i
mean watch you know tiktok live and you'll be
like oh my gosh what is going on around here finding
(41:01):
your place is difficult in the social media world
for sure i think that i i it is difficult but it's also i feel like we put too
much thought into it if you just and i know this is so cliche but if you could
just be who you are look at other people people that you admire.
(41:22):
And like, if you're struggling with something, and you don't know how to make
a specific type of video or whatever it is, you know, there are so many resources
now that allow for you to learn how to do that.
But if you just continue to be who you are, you will build an audience around that.
And I think, for me, personally,
(41:44):
one of the biggest things that I've struggled with is comparison you
know I'll look at their other artists and
they have more followers than me because at the end of
the day with music our numbers really count and when you work so hard and then
your numbers aren't where you want them or you have somebody creating fake accounts
like people make fake accounts and then people that would have followed me follow
(42:09):
them and they're sealing you know numbers it's just this whole thing like.
But if you can get to a point where you stop comparing yourself to others,
there's really a piece with that that's nice that you just kind of settle into.
(42:29):
I think that comes with some maturity, you know, as we mature and grow and all that.
That so um how would
you describe your like your growth moment currently like i'll give you mine
(42:50):
real quick like i uh let's say something upsets me or bothers me like it may
be in the past i might stew on it for two weeks or something you know and now
i've like i think my growth moment at
this moment is like i'm quicker to recognize
that something's going on and
(43:10):
then like i kind of try to deal with it immediately or
as soon as possible so i don't stay in that headspace for
two weeks um and it could be i mean there
it could be all across the board but i always say like my
mind goes to a 10 and before i might stay at that 10 for a while just mentally
and then now i've started to recognize that and then i try to figure out what's
(43:35):
going on in my head and why i'm out of 10 and try to deal with it i'm curious
what your growth moment currently is.
Currently i feel like ours is slightly similar because i used to go from one
to ten real quick i'd get you know something would upset me and i would react
(43:56):
solely off of emotion and uh now Now,
with my job,
with what I do for a living,
it is so important to have a good handle on your mental health.
Because if you think about it, I mean, all of the people within the music business
(44:17):
that have died young from overdoses and all of these things or suicide or whatever it was,
within the music industry, sex, drugs, and rock and roll, that's glorified.
You want to be a rock star, but that's not sustainable and it will lead to the
deterioration of your life really quickly.
(44:40):
So now if I get really stressed, recognizing old patterns and old behavioral
or old thought patterns and behavioral patterns and saying, okay,
that's not what I, I don't cope that way.
This is what I'm going to do. This is what I'm going to do instead.
And really just implementing healthy coping systems and support systems,
(45:05):
I think, is just something that I continue to do and also practice.
Being more communicative, you know, just really talking through things versus
keeping it all kind of bottled up inside.
You know, if somebody, if something hurts my feelings, I'm going to tell you,
(45:29):
but we're not going to get in a fight about it.
We're just going to talk about it because there's no reason to get worked up.
What's your, you know, I know this is kind of a cliche question,
but I'm always very curious to what people are listening to, like right now.
Like what what kind of music or what is there an
artist or a song or something that you're you know
(45:49):
that you're listening to right now uh well my playlist yesterday i think i was
listening to the steel drivers yeah the steel drivers taylor swift the red play
strays and Lee Bryce yesterday.
So I'm kind of all over the board.
(46:12):
I've been diving into the Taylor Swift album because she's a world phenomenon right now.
And her artistry and everything that she's doing is so well thought out. It's phenomenal.
So I'm a really big fan of the business structure. I love that. I think it's genius.
(46:34):
And for her being a woman in the music industry, doing what she's doing is just incredible.
But I'm a huge fan of the Red Play Strays. Do you know who they are? I don't. I don't.
I'll write that down.
(47:15):
But when they got on stage, it was just, holy freaking crap.
One of those bands, like as soon as I saw them, I was like, these guys are going
to, they're going to hit it because they were just.
Phenomenal so you should definitely look into them they're great i'm going
to so i i want to make sure that you know
i don't take up too much of your time but there's i want to get in a
(47:37):
couple of things one is that i'm going to ask a
favor and i can't you can't even answer yes or
no and i don't expect you to but you know we're doing
a tour of uh kind of
a tour of cities when it comes to our
board members for our even one less and
so we're having these mixer events where we go and we
have music and we we really we have
(47:59):
like a live auction and it's not
so much to raise money it's more of like just getting
the message out there and so we've gone we we've started here in elk city oklahoma
and then we went to midland texas and next we're going to ardmore but we're
going to end and it would be like a year from now so that's why you can't i don't even expect you
(48:22):
to commit to it but uh i mean
meaning that when i have a better date and you know but
i'm assuming like a year from now we're gonna go to nashville we're ending in
nashville and that's awesome i and i want to i want to connect you with a friend
of mine that he's like he's he's a little bit older than i am but his name is
donnie lyles his son is stephen lyles which is with love and theft and son and
(48:47):
he has really been a part of like the concert that i I told you about.
He, he, um, just a super great guy and he lives in Nashville.
And, uh, so we're really going there with, you know, for him because he lives there.
And, and so I would love to have you when we have that event,
I would love to have you there and, and play some music for us.
(49:08):
And, and so, and I know that's a year for me.
Yeah, honestly, I would love that. And you have my, my email.
So just, you know, holler at me once you guys get the details and everything.
And if If I'm in town, I'm always open to doing stuff like that. How open are you to...
Singing like one line or two lines
(49:30):
of your newest song that you just dropped uh should
have been raining or my new song that's out on friday uh you
pick one on the 26th so i mean that or a new one that you're gonna put up uh
what 26 that one comes out that's the one we're talking about that one comes
(49:50):
out yeah yeah that one comes out friday i'm really excited about that i'm keeping that
one under wraps until it until he said,
um, but I can grab my guitar. I don't mind.
I mean, I thought it'd be cool if you don't mind. I don't mind. Let me grab my guitar.
And just remember we're doing mainly audio, not video.
(50:16):
Now I got to tune it because I have not played today. So we don't,
I don't know where she's at or she's sounding.
So the best way. So you're on Spotify. So if people want to find you there while
you're doing that, Emily Elgin, that if they do that on Spotify,
if they search that, they're going to be able to find you on Spotify, right?
(50:39):
Spotify. I'm on all of the streaming platforms. So anywhere you stream music,
you can find me anywhere.
YouTube, Spotify, all of the things you guys listening.
You really need to check out this girl. I was like super impressed.
I don't know how, I think I've been following you for maybe a couple of years now.
(51:00):
And great music.
Check it out. She definitely has a big platform as well on TikTok.
We're almost there.
No pressure.
Yeah, you know, it's so weird. Being an artist nowadays, it is very hard, but it's also hard.
(51:25):
We live in such an exciting time as an independent artist because you have so
much opportunity to push your music.
And so that's one thing that I always try to encourage younger artists when
they get discouraged of like, oh, well, it's so hard and this and that.
And I'm not saying that it's not, but also don't lose sight of the incredible
(51:52):
opportunity that you have right now that didn't exist 30 years ago. Yeah.
I'm sure you've heard this song. If you haven't, maybe go back later and listen
to it. It's called The Ride by David Allen Cole.
Yes. But one of the things he talks, kind of a lyric in there or whatever,
he talks about basically, can you make people feel?
(52:12):
Feel and i for me when i think about like
you know listening to your stuff and you
know my favorite music it's like the stuff that
makes me feel i think is super
impactful and and what's funny is that
you know just just like everything in life like music
is definitely it's about the situation the
(52:34):
place you're at in life so if you're going through a
breakup then you're going to be listen to more breakup songs and
you're in love you're gonna listen to more love songs but i
think that the the one thing those things have in common
is is that they make you feel you know
and you know the cool thing about you can have like
a definite like party song and the same thing though it makes you feel and you're
(52:57):
excited and i mean how many times have like you heard people like in the shower
talking about you know singing this song or some song stuck in your head and
i think I think that your music really does make you feel.
And, but that's where, when I think about that, I think about that David Allen
Cole song, because, you know, that's really what, you know, and it's,
(53:20):
you know, the story about him going to, or whatever, the guy going to Nashville.
And so anyway, I'll let you go. It is.
It's very interesting. I think that emotion, if your song holds no emotion,
it's just, what is it? It's not a song.
It's got to have some sort of, got to be able to evoke emotion of some sort.
(53:44):
So i i think that i love that and i think that that's really really important
and i mean anything that's created is created you know with emotion so i think
every song holds it it's just if it's,
kind of your vibe or not you know well i like it you talked about it's in your
(54:05):
place you know if you're in that place if you listen to a breakup song you're
not breaking up with anybody then it probably doesn't have as much impact as 100% of or whatever.
When I was in my early 20s and the Rascal Flat CD, What Hurts the Most, I wore that thing out.
(54:29):
It got me through that breakup.
I'll never forget it. But speaking of breakups, this is a breakup song.
This should have been raining.
(54:50):
The lantern's swaying in a slow breeze
And a cloud in
the sky Buzzing off the ground when the house band's playing You look wonderful
tonight And if the stars weren't shining so bright Maybe I'd have seen goodbye
in your eyes Love don't deserve to die on a night like tonight,
(55:15):
It should have been right when it happened That's why I'm talking to you,
boy, I'm gonna be sad Baby, don't go, don't leave me I'm gonna die big,
yeah, I'm gonna die big, yeah That's all I know, it's gotta be true, yeah Oh,
no, it should have been right Hey, hey, hey.
(55:44):
That's awesome the job i
will say it's like i wish that um for
the people listening of course we're doing zoom audio through
internet so it doesn't give you the and and that's hate that part but i i want
to encourage people to find you and you know spotify or any of the apple you
(56:04):
know or any of the music you know streaming website instead you're definitely
somebody worth following and listening to.
And, you know, I, um, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the
time. I mean, that means a lot. It really does.
And, and I'm hoping that, you know, that there can be a way where you can work
together in the future, you know, possibly, you know, whenever we come into
(56:28):
Nashville and all those things.
And, you know, we're, I'd like to have a concert here. Maybe we can get you
to come back home for a little bit too.
Do stuff like that I want to make sure,
yeah I want to make sure that you know people can we talked about the music
and where they can find you tell what other is there any other place that you
(56:50):
they can go and find out more information about you and your music,
yeah I've got a website it's emilyelginmusic.com and it's got my tour dates
and just information about me my merch and I've got some t-shirts I'll be adding
and things like that and all of them, social media, I've got YouTube, Facebook.
Instagram, TikTok, all of the major platforms. I did want to tell you that I
(57:15):
feel grateful for you asking me to be here. I love what you guys are doing.
The suicide prevention, I think, is so important. I've got two family members
in my family that died from suicide.
I think that your work that you're doing is very impactful and it's very important.
Thank you. I'm trying to find a unique way of doing it. you know,
(57:38):
and it's hard because there's a lot of people out there who are dealing with mental health.
I mean, like probably Nashville has it, you know, Oklahoma has it where Texas has it, where it's nine,
eight, eight, you know, to call, but, and those things are very valuable,
but I'm also trying to find it's, it's like, I always think about it like the middle ground.
It's like, what about people who are struggling?
(58:01):
They're not even to that point yet. They're not to that point.
And, and it's like, I love hearing stories about people that are able to overcome
even in the smallest ways.
You know, that's why your story about how you moved from Oklahoma to Nashville
is such an like inspiration to me because that's way outside comfort zones.
(58:24):
You know, you've seen the way I watch your tech talks and, you know,
it's funny because again, Again, we have probably the same amount of followers on TikTok,
but the difference is, is that I don't, I rarely turn the camera to me because
I'm very, maybe insecure about that or whatever.
But as you, you, you put yourself out there and you have to,
(58:45):
I mean, I know I get that as an artist and to be able to like even get on here
and sing and, you know, but make videos that are vulnerable.
There's a lot of your videos where you're being vulnerable, you know?
And you're really, this is who I am. And I have a ton of respect for that. And I think that that.
(59:08):
For me, like when I got on TikTok, how many ever years ago,
the one thing that I really loved about the platform was that I felt like that
you have people being themselves and that vulnerability is what really attracted people.
Now it's kind of shifted in some ways with, you know, shopping and all that stuff.
(59:31):
But I think that that's really what people care about. I mean,
you mentioned Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift is I think that people see a vulnerability
in her. They see a relatability.
And, you know, and I think the same thing with you. Whenever I watch your videos,
it's like I think there's a vulnerability and a relatability there.
(59:51):
And I think that really inspires people. And, you know, you're doing it.
And I want to just encourage you that that that works,
you know, and just be that person to say, you know, say, hey,
even though it's like been in the distance or outside looking in,
it's like, man, I think that you really, you're onto something with your vulnerability
(01:00:14):
and honest and just putting yourself out there.
Thank you. That, honestly, that means a lot to me because the reason that I
do that is because number one, like I said earlier, I think mental health is so important.
And I feel that the more we talk about it and the more we're open and honest
(01:00:34):
about it, that it's not this big taboo thing,
then more people, if they do start to struggle, they will feel better about reaching out.
Because I feel like a lot of the reason that people don't reach out is because
they're ashamed, they're embarrassed, they don't understand and all of those things.
(01:00:56):
But whenever I decided to do this and whenever I decided to get on TikTok and
just social media in general, professionally, I made a decision to always be who I am.
Because number one, playing a character all the time, all day,
every day, it's not sustainable. That's exhausting. No.
(01:01:20):
And I wanted my followers and my fans to know who I am as a person before they buy into my music.
If you like my music, you like me, you know, and I just, I want that to,
to, to correlate really well together.
I don't want to have to worry about doing something or saying something that's off brand with who I am.
(01:01:43):
I am who I am and I can change that. And I want to be able to have a platform
that shows other people.
It doesn't matter where you come from what you've done in your past the mistakes
you've made if you struggle with anxiety and depression and ptsd and all of these other things,
you can still have a successful life with whatever success means to you it's
possible like i did it you can do it anybody can do this and i really think
(01:02:06):
you are a great advocate for that i i mean that i um that's why i was like i
want i reached out to you because i'm like this girl is being herself.
And I think that's sustainable.
You know, I really do. And I think it's for kind of this greater good, you know, it really is.
It's like, if we are being ourself and we're being open and vulnerable,
(01:02:29):
it's, you know, the whole stigma thing, you know, it's like.
You know, this, the error of like, let's put on a mask and act like everything's fine.
And I don't have any struggles and everything's perfect in my world that I hope it goes away forever.
Because in my mind, it's like everybody who I really, who I talk to and interact
(01:02:51):
with, I start to see that we're all struggling. We all have problems.
We're all in the ability to support each other in it, even though you can't
maybe relate exactly to what they're going through. It's powerful.
And I think that your music and your videos and the social media that you put
(01:03:13):
out there does exactly that. So thank you so much.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Music.
I don't know if I get up today. I don't know if I give one single today,
My whole outlook is sunken gray and I have no idea why I woke up this way Got
my phone in my right hand my books on the nightstand if I unlock and I add pop
I'm stuck there I'm a dead man.
So Lord give me the strength to please read one page if it works in any way
I'll move on to the next thing.
Oh, yeah Welcome to positively undefeated.
(00:23):
This is a podcast that talks about the day-to-day struggle ordinary people have
over their demons and how each day they remain positively undefeated.
We share ideas and ways that you can empower yourself to remain strong so that
you can embrace the journey of living.
Thank you guys for tuning in to Positively Undefeated.
(00:45):
If you guys haven't had a chance, check out our website, which is evenoneless.com.
That will give you kind of how to contact us. It'll tell you more about our not-for-profit.
So if you get a chance, check it out. Also, go to your favorite podcasting application,
whether Apple, Spotify, Google Podcast, any of those. We're on those.
(01:08):
And just like and review and all that.
So, Emily, I am so glad to have you on. Emily Elgin.
I was thinking about how I originally got in contact with you through TikTok.
Talk and i think either i used your music for one of my videos or you asked
me to use one of your music for one of my videos i think that's how it started yes i'm i'm.
(01:37):
Do what? Do you live in Nashville? I do. I do. I've been here.
Actually, May 1st will be nine years since I moved here. So, yeah, it's crazy.
Oklahoma. Are you really? You mean, you know that's where I live,
right? I live in Oklahoma.
Yeah. And I looked up, you know, when you reached out to me about being on the podcast,
(01:59):
I kind of did a deep dive and looked into the foundation
that you guys started and all of those things and realized that
y'all were from oklahoma too so i thought that was cool yeah we're
in oklahoma i was born in norman but
i've lived from everywhere from lexington to
edmond you know i've just lived all all around i moved around a lot my wife
(02:23):
she's born in norman as well so we i'm sure you saw it we're in western oklahoma
right off 540 so halfway in between amarillo and oklahoma city so So, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm curious about your music. So, you know, I from what I understand,
like there's two ways to go about like as an artist, one that you can get a record deal.
(02:47):
And if you able to find a record deal with and then the other way would be more
independent where you kind of put out your own music.
Is that correct? And which way
are you trying? It looks like more you're trying to do more independent.
Yeah um that is correct there's you know with the with the era of digital streaming
(03:08):
and the internet it's just really changed the game as far as what artists are capable of doing.
Um so there are several different ways you know and i feel like everybody wants
to know well you know what's the way and there's not really a way to go about
it i am independent right now Now,
(03:29):
that's not to say that I wouldn't sign a major label deal,
but it would have to be the right deal for me to sign.
I'm really happy with being independent, although I will say being independent
is much more difficult in a lot of areas because I'm a one-woman team currently.
(03:50):
Currently, fingers crossed that this is where I get representation,
like an agent or management, but I'm currently doing the job of seven different people.
So it's, it's a lot on the day to day.
How has the, I mean, like the move to, I mean, of course you lived there for
a while now, but the move to Nashville,
I'm just curious, like as somebody trying to get their music out there and some,
(04:16):
you know, and I've watched your TikToks.
And I know it must be difficult to like get your stuff out there and get people to notice it.
I'm just curious what that journey has been like for you, like the moving and
just being there in Nashville and all that.
It's been, it's really been an incredible journey. I moved here in 2015.
(04:38):
And yes, I moved here for music, but I also moved here for a life change.
I had been getting into a bunch of trouble back home and I'd been arrested and
been to jail and just really living a lifestyle that I was really unhappy with.
And my life's, you know, I'd go out and party and everybody would see me happy
and drinking and partying, but I wasn't happy at all. I was very unhappy.
(05:03):
And so my reason for my move to Nashville was twofold.
And yes, this has been one of the absolute hardest things I've ever done in
my entire life, deciding to go into the music business, learn the business,
own and run my own company and do all of the things that is required by that path.
(05:29):
But my worst day doing this is still better than where I was.
So I think that has really helped me along my journey is when I do look back,
I can see how far I've come and I know where I would have been if I would have stayed.
Yeah. I see, you know, you talk a lot about domestic violence and,
(05:51):
you know, As I was watching some of your videos, I was thinking about that.
In fact, one of your videos, you talk about the fact that it's easy to think
that from the outside, that basically, as you say, you pick the wrong man.
But like you described, and you did well in that video, just talking about the
(06:13):
fact that for a while, there's no hint of that stuff. There's no,
you know, there might be some red flags, but nothing to that extent.
And, and I'm curious, that's definitely kind of a platform that you talk about
and write songs about too.
And so I'm just curious is kind of your experience with that.
(06:35):
And then, you know, there might be people listening that are just,
you know, kind of silently suffering, you know, in their own situation.
Situation, I would just like to know kind of your situation and then how you
kind of got out of that and out of that mentality of, you know,
in other words, putting up with it because you talk about as a kid that you had the same thing.
(06:58):
And then as an adult, you know, we hear that a lot that we're going to struggle
with the same thing our parents struggle.
And it seems like we say we're never going to be like our parents,
but then we turn around and have some similar situations.
Yeah. You know, for me, I think domestic violence is such a multidimensional and complicated issue.
(07:20):
It's not just, like I said in my video, it's not just as simple as,
oh, well, she has bad taste in men.
It's not. It's a very broad generalization for people to put on it that either
domestic violence, they don't understand it, or it makes them uncomfortable. comfortable.
So for me, I was raised in a home with domestic violence.
(07:41):
And like I said in my video, not by my biological father, my daddy is amazing.
We love him. But when my parents divorced, my mama remarried a couple of times
and her husbands were all very violent.
And so when When you grow up in a household like that, it really warps what you learn love is.
(08:07):
Because love is something that's taught to you by your parents.
And you internalize that.
And as an adult, those qualities are something that you're drawn to,
whether you know it or not.
And so as I became a young woman, I was very confused.
Although I didn't know I was confused, I thought I knew it all.
And I thought I knew exactly what I wanted out of a man and out of a relationship
(08:30):
and a potential partner for life.
And the men that I was drawn to were all very violent.
But like I said, it didn't start that way.
And whenever you have someone that hurts you physically and then apologizes
for it, the physical aspect is not the hard part.
(08:55):
Getting hit is not the worst part. It's what it does to you here and here.
And it really warps your understanding of what love is,
understanding of love for oneself and your own self-confidence and trust,
(09:15):
not only in other people, but within yourself.
And so the last abusive relationship I was in, I made a decision to not date
anymore. Nothing serious.
I would hang out and stuff, but I wouldn't ever take that next step to be in
(09:39):
a relationship. And I started going to therapy.
And I'm a huge advocate now for therapy because it has genuinely changed my life for the better.
And that is
definitely i would say
that one of the number one reasons that
(10:00):
i was able to really shift my mindset and
work through traumas from childhood young adulthood really start to understand
why things happen the way they happened and what love is what genuine partnership is rather than,
(10:20):
you know, obsession and unhealthy personal and interpersonal boundaries.
Yeah. I know it's like whenever I was really going through stuff,
I was like, I like it for me. I like found ways to cope.
And then I found out later that really those ways were not very healthy.
(10:43):
And then going extreme, like, you know, where I did that. I don't know if you've
ever heard of it. It's like called 75 hard.
It's where you work out twice a day, all this stuff.
Andy Prasini, it's his pro form. It's his company, I believe.
Anyway, but, you know, I did that and, and, you know, I felt great.
(11:04):
But then whenever it was over, it was almost like this hangover.
It's like, I didn't, you know,
you would, you think you would naturally like go to
this place where like okay well i'm gonna just work
out one time a day but i'm still gonna work
out and then i just felt like this i accomplished
it but you know
(11:26):
it really it wasn't you know working out a ton every single day and doing all
these things was a little bit of an overkill and then you take like i struggled
with you know coping with alcohol and like of course drinking too much you know
and then realizing that this wasn't good you know those different things what
kind of stuff that did you feel like that you kind of went through that same
(11:46):
thing where it's like, I'm picking maybe the extreme of the other side and.
I definitely did a bunch of drugs and drank a lot.
I really like pain pills, so I would pop a pain pill before I would go out drinking with my friends.
I would rationalize it in my head as I'm saving money on beer because I just
(12:10):
took this pill so I don't have to drink as much beer.
Yeah you know um and then eventually those led i started doing a bunch of cocaine and um.
Binge drinking and everything just kept you know
had to go one notch higher one notch higher one notch higher yeah and uh when
i still live in oklahoma city i was drinking so bad so heavy uh it had just
(12:34):
gotten really out of control and it's all under this you know bright shiny light
of we're just partying, we're just having fun.
But it got to a point that I was losing control.
And I had met this guy at a bar and went back to his apartment with him.
And he had what he told me was a hydrocodone.
(12:58):
And it ended up being Suboxone and I snorted it.
And I was really, really drunk when I snorted it.
And, um, that led me to continuing to do that.
And at one point it had got so bad that I woke up after a night of doing that
(13:23):
and I was vomiting in my sleep.
And thank God I woke up because I would have died. And I woke up vomiting and
I went to the bathroom and I was at somebody else's house and I just got this
overwhelming sense of fear. Like I just wanted to go home.
I just wanted to go home. So I got in my car and I was driving and I was over
(13:45):
off of like 36th and Penn, Northside by Penn Square Mall in Oklahoma City.
And my house was just a few miles from there and I was driving I could not stay conscious.
I would kind of pass out and then come to and I was vomiting All in the same
time trying to drive home and uh.
(14:09):
After I recovered from that I
was laying in bed and I thought This is how your dad is gonna find you um,
If you keep this up, this is what's going to happen. There is,
you know, you know where the road leads.
It leads the same place for eventually, one way or another.
(14:31):
And that's when I started to seriously consider moving and really trying to
give myself a chance to be who I was created to be.
Because I just felt, you know, obviously that I wasn't, I wasn't doing that,
but, um, I definitely used a lot of coping mechanisms.
(14:53):
I actually, during that time, I started going to AA meetings,
but when I was there, I realized I wasn't an alcoholic because I didn't have
the, I couldn't relate to anything that these people were saying.
And therapy, I realized that I was self-medicating by using these substances.
(15:19):
And my entire life, because I come from, on my mother's side,
there's a lot of alcoholism and drug use and all sorts of stuff.
And so I was told from a young age, well, you're genetically predisposed.
You're just going to be an alcoholic.
So sorry, that's just your life. you know
and now as an
(15:40):
adult i fight that entire just agenda
so hard with people because just because your parents were something that does
not define you it it it does not at all so i mean that's a pretty big move to
to nashville like from oklahoma did did i mean did you have connections there
or is it like cold turkey moved to nashville,
(16:03):
Oh, it's a weird story, but no, I didn't know anybody.
I had one friend that lived in Nashville, but I moved to Leapers Fork,
Tennessee, which is about 40 minutes south of Nashville.
And I had been looking online because I had a horse at the time.
I trained horses and stuff and wanted to bring her with me.
(16:25):
And I found an apartment that was owned by a man that ran a ranch.
Ranch long story short he uh
he ended up being a preacher and they
he ran a big 500 acre
ranch in leapers fort tennessee and there was a live-in quarters barn that was
(16:47):
available and he was needing somebody to ride colts for him so i had no i'd
never met him i had no idea who he was i didn't know what he looked like i didn't
know what the place looked like it was a craigslist ad,
And so I talked to him. He was on the phone.
And he said, what do you do for a living? I said, well, I'm a bartender.
(17:07):
He said, you drink and party? And I said, yes, sir.
And he said, well, you're going to have to limit that here on this ranch.
And he said, can you do that? And I said, yes, sir.
And he said, all right, well, come on. and I didn't have any money, that ball.
I mean, I was broke, broke, broke.
And I was laying in bed one night and I was praying and I said,
(17:32):
God, where you lead, I will follow.
And the next day at this bar that I was working at, a man comes in,
he buys a Bud Light for $3 and hands me a $100 bill and told me to keep it.
And, well, it pissed me off because I thought he was like, you know,
trying to proposition me and just hit on me, you know, and be gross.
(17:53):
So I said something rude to him and he said, no, no, no, Emily,
you and I have a mutual friend.
I've heard that you want to move to Nashville and saying, I want to help you.
Will you meet me for breakfast at this breakfast spot? So I said, yes.
And so I met him the next day and he gave me $4,000 cash.
And I moved to three weeks later. that's that's
(18:14):
pretty incredible and I don't think there's any coincidence in
that whatsoever so do you still live on the same ranch
and still are you still there or did you transition to
something else I transitioned and I will
say that was probably the hardest transition since
I've been here I lived there for six years and the property was actually for
sale the entire time um and so somebody came in and bought it and so i had to
(18:40):
move and i was i was not happy about it it was very difficult for me to to move
because that was the first place that i had.
Felt that was home since i was a very little girl
you know i mean little little that was my
first home and that felt like home and i
felt safe there and it was just a beautiful heavenly property that i mean there
(19:07):
is there's no way that i could have landed there by any orchestration of human
hands it's just not possible you know that's pretty amazing that's one thing
you and i have in common and that, you know, I love horses.
You know, I've done, we've done in the past a lot of trail riding and,
you know, stuff like that.
In fact, I rode yesterday for quite a while.
(19:29):
And I find that, like, first of all, I think a lot of horse people are crazy.
That's not saying you, but I'm saying in general, I see a lot of crazy horses.
I kind of grew up, you know, my family was poor. And so, you know,
riding horses was like, we didn't have any of the fancy stuff.
(19:51):
You see a fancy trailer and fancy, you know. And so even as an adult,
you know, where maybe I have more stuff,
but I still really manage the horses a lot like I did whenever I was younger,
you know, like we did, which more of the poor environment kind of deal.
But meaning that I don't have a fancy trailer.
(20:12):
I don't have those things. But I really enjoy doing it. And do you still have horses now?
I do. I do. And, you know, you don't have to have all of the fancy smancy stuff to enjoy it.
It's funny because the evolution of the horse is so wild because it used to be a necessity.
(20:33):
And now it's, you know, like a rich man's sport, which is really funny to me.
But yes, I do. I actually, so I lost, I had a quarter horse mare that I raised
from a foal and trained her and she was wonderful.
But unfortunately, she sustained an accident two years ago that I had to put
(20:53):
her down and I was heartbroken.
And then I had an older quarter horse as well and he passed away about six months after her.
So I waited for a while because I get very attached to my animals.
I'm very much an animal person, but I just bought an eight-year-old paint gelding
about a month ago named Kingston, and I love him. He's so cute.
(21:16):
I saw the video on that, I believe.
Does he have style or a gelding?
Do what? Is he a stud or a gilding? No, he's a gilding. He might think he's a stud, but he's not.
Like a horse. You know, it's hard to pick the right horse. It really is.
You know, it's hard to make sure that I just bought a horse recently and came from New Mexico.
(21:39):
And so I've never seen anything like it.
I've had up to like 12 horses, but right now we have three.
And we're kind of trying to build it back up and
because we just bought some land and but this
horse i have this little miniature horse and
he's a stud and he you really i got him from our
(22:01):
grand baby just thought it was cool well this thing i got this new horse and
this this miniature horse literally would not let this new horse eat would not
let it dream ran it and and And this new horse is probably 16 hands tall. I mean, big horse.
And ran him all over the pasture, you know, just, I mean, nonstop.
(22:25):
And so I ended up moving him out to the land.
And we have like five acres where we live. And then, you know, we have this land.
And so I moved him out there because he'd gotten so skinny. But I'd never seen
a little miniature horse be so abusive to this new horse.
(22:45):
And I'm like, I don't know. It's a little bit of both of them.
You know, like this, this new horse's personality is like, you know,
in the herd horse mentality, he's definitely at the bottom. And it's like, wow.
You know, and, and, and again, this little miniature horse just kind of controlled
his whole life for like two weeks.
And so I moved him. it was pretty wild i'd never seen well
(23:08):
you know how funny i grew up like
you go out and you put out feed and if they don't come then they don't get to
eat kind of that's the mentality and and so but this horse almost from the start
i'd have to go and feed him separately and go and i was like oh my god and this
is really driven by his personality but also this miniature horse so So it's pretty,
(23:31):
I mean, but he's great.
You know, I like ride them and he's, you know, you never know when you get a
horse out on, you know, for a while, how they'll act. And he acted great.
And so riding wise, he's fine. It's just this whole, you know,
he's the bottom of the herd.
It is really interesting. When I was training full time, I had a lot of,
(23:53):
I gave riding lessons too.
And I had a program and I would have clients that.
And this happens very frequently as you get people who grew up riding,
you know, and they rode just backyard horses from the age of,
you know, eight to 10 or something like that.
And then they're now in their 30s and 40s and they want to get a horse,
(24:15):
which I completely support. Yes, let's do that.
But they go out and they go to Killpins and they go to, you know,
Craigslist or wherever.
And they buy a horse that is not the right fit for them. Not that it's a bad horse.
The experience levels just don't line up and then
they get themselves in such a mess and
(24:36):
it happens all the time but fortunately
i mean people like that keep trainers in business so
it's it's a good thing and if you get a good trainer you'll be able to help
them you know either get the horse where they need to be or find a horse that's
going to be better suited for them yeah i always remind people it's like you
do realize uh a horse killed superman right because you know you think about
(24:58):
Christopher Reeves, you know, he,
he got hurt and I always give that example,
but, you know, because it's like, you, you see these, especially on TikTok or
whatever, you see these videos of this guy getting on a horse and bucking around.
And, you know, of course it gets, you know, a hundred thousand views or whatever,
but I'm like, nobody in their right mind is going to go get on some horse knowing it's going to do that.
(25:25):
You know, I think that may be a young man's game when you did when you were
young. But I'm like, you're going to get hurt if you don't, if you're not careful.
It is. And it's also a thing that I've noticed within Western culture of it
is a, it proves how tough you are and it proves how cowboy or cowgirl you are.
And I will say from firsthand experience, I was definitely that rider when I was in my early 20s.
(25:49):
I would get on anything. thing. I had built up a clientele and I dealt with
a lot of problem horses and I would get on horses that I had no business getting
on that were very dangerous.
And it would just feed my ego because people would be like, Oh,
Emily, you know, you can put her on that horse. She ain't coming off.
(26:10):
And fast forward to a call that I got one time and I had already been riding
all day and And somebody called me and they said, hey, we've got a horse out here.
I think it was in Lexington or someplace, maybe east of Lexington.
And it was this big gray corn horse mare. And he said, I said,
(26:32):
well, what's going on with her?
And he said, oh, well, she's just, you know, won't go through her gates.
And she's just kind of being fickle and, you know, attitude-y.
And my grandkids can't ride her. I want my grandkids to ride her.
And I said, all right, we'll come out. Now, long story short, she bucked me off.
And what happened was this man did not disclose everything about the mare.
(26:57):
She had actually bucked off another cowboy a week prior to me,
and he had to get shoulder surgery.
But I felt myself coming up out of the saddle when she was bucking,
so I set my shoulders back.
But when I did, she had come up and twisted, so I landed on the saddle horn.
Which compressed my spine.
(27:18):
So during that, I broke my tailbone and I also got a compression fracture and
I blacked out when that happened.
And then the next thing I remember is,
hitting the ground somehow but I'm pretty sure I hit like
this because it broke both of my wrists and then
I remember hearing this weird
(27:38):
noise and I looked down and my legs were kind of like flopping on the ground
and then I looked at my arms and they were kind of flopping on the ground and
then I realized that noise was me screaming and that's when the pain hit and
I threw up And I've never felt any kind of pain.
(27:59):
I can't even put it into words how bad it was.
But I advocate for young trainers now to just be really smart about the types
of horses that they're getting on.
And don't buy into the, you know, this is what makes you cool thing.
(28:20):
If you're going to ride rocks, do it 100%. But go to the professional that rides
bras and learn the technique. There's techniques.
There's reasons why people do this professionally.
You know what I mean? I've got some trainers out here that are phenomenal,
but they do it professionally.
And I wish that I would have listened.
(28:41):
And even after that, I mean, in 2018, I had a horse flip over on me twice.
And I had a horse in 2017 fall on top of me.
So you know i got
out a horse train and said we're gonna do music full time
got thrown like two or three years ago and
(29:02):
the horse it was like a brand new horse or
took it out riding it's supposed to be all this anyway got thrown
and that horse ran back
to the basically to the entrance and you
know we're talking about like a mile i was like a mile and
so i had to walk back and i'm like and i'm like
i'm not this is horrible i hated it um so i'm curious back to the music thing
(29:26):
so i actually you know i've kind of have some a little bit involvement in the
past with you know different artists and whatever you know let's say local we
call them red dirt bands you know, those kinds of things. Yeah.
And so, in fact, at the ranch, we had a concert a few years ago and we had like, I think 16 bands.
(29:52):
And so, yeah, yeah. And I mean, again, it was a small kind of deal,
meaning that really probably 200 people came. It wasn't, you know, huge.
And they were all new artists or people trying. But one thing that I just always
amazed I mean, I had several friends that are, that are, you know, are into music and,
(30:12):
you know, I'm, I'm curious, like, so my friend and I were talking about like.
Unfortunately, when it comes to like, let's say singing, you know,
it's it's I think a lot of people, they get the idea whether they sing well
or not, probably from other people.
They say, oh, my God, you sing so beautifully and whatever.
(30:32):
And then yet, if you take some of the most popular artists, let's say like Tyler
Childers or whoever, and you notice that they have a very neat sound, you know.
So somebody like me, I would tell you, I can't sing. I would say that.
But also, sometimes I wonder if maybe it's because in my mind,
(30:57):
I'm singing like I've heard other people sing, like a karaoke or whatever.
In other words, if I'm listening to a song on the radio driving in my truck
and I'm singing along with that song, well, obviously, I'm mimicking what I'm hearing. Right.
And maybe that song's not really even made for a voice like mine or whatever.
(31:19):
And yet I could see how somebody who really has talent could get very discouraged
or frustrated because if they're listening to the outside world,
tell them whether they can sing or not.
Yet they have this very unique, I mean, take somebody like Amy Winehouse,
or, you know, you have these artists who have this very unique sound.
(31:42):
And I think that easily somebody who's professional or somebody's just in that
they know could, you know, really discourage them because they sing differently.
And yet I think that singing differently is really what makes that artist unique.
(32:03):
And does that make sense? And yet also, man, I, I, we, I went to Nashville two
years ago and that's the first time I'd ever been to Nashville. Right.
And so I go and we went to concerts and we went to, you know,
of course the bars and listened to, and I was just blown away by the talent there.
You know, it's every, it's every.
(32:24):
And, and part of it is like, and again, I'm not a musician.
And so I'm just telling you from a non-musician person that I see they have
talent, but also you start to realize it's like, man, they do sound just like
the next person in some ways.
You know, they're not really that unique. And I can see how that'd be very difficult,
(32:45):
you know, discouraging because if you, I think here's another way to put it.
If I found like who I was in my voice and I was able to project it,
just mine, not copying anybody else, I wonder how that would be.
And yet I see like somebody like you, I could see that could be very difficult.
(33:10):
So I just want your take on that. well i
think that's that's a that's a several part
thing number one talent
is is such a deep well and some
for some people a good singer in their mind has to sound like whitney houston
(33:31):
or um you know any of these iconic very big strong powerful belty voices whereas
other people People love voices like Taylor Swift, right?
And she's got a very airy, light, floaty voice. Very different voices.
(33:52):
Arguably, still the same amount of talent, just in different areas of the talent
well, if that makes sense.
And so, it can be very discouraging. You know, when I came out here,
I had the opportunity to go to an A-list party.
(34:12):
And I'm from Oklahoma. I've never been anywhere hardly.
You know, and I get invited into this like A-list artist's birthday party just
by being at the right place at the right time.
And while I was there with a friend of mine, he introduced me to this artist's
publicist. And I in my head, you know was like this is it. This is my big break.
(34:38):
Oh my gosh so Man turns around my friend introduces me to this man.
He says hey, this is emily elgin. She's a new artist in town She's a fantastic
singer and I said hi I'm, so excited to meet you and he looks at me and he said
that's nice and turned around and kept talking Wow um,
And I said, oh, okay, awesome.
(35:03):
So, and those types of things happen, you know, was that rude of him?
He could have handled it differently. Yes. I don't think I would have treated somebody that way.
But also in that moment, yes, it hurt my feelings.
Yes. I cried about it later, but it also lit a fire in me to,
in the, in the sense of, I I don't ever want to just be something that fades into the background.
(35:31):
And when people start feeling discouraged and they start trying to chase these
sounds, they start trying to chase trends, trends fade, just like style.
All of that, what doesn't fade is your individuality.
You are at this point in time in history, the only one of you that exists and that will ever exist.
(35:52):
Exist so there lies your creative power you are the only one that can write
songs the way you write songs if you're not a good songwriter start learning
how to write songs if you think you are a really good songwriter keep working
with people that are better than you keep perfecting and.
(36:13):
Eventually somebody is going to appreciate what
you're doing now it might
not be the whole big big wide world but you will find
your audience no i it's funny
because i like you i'm sure you
sturgill simpson you know i'm sure you've listened to him you know but you hear
(36:35):
stories of like i heard that he like basically he's now just kind of reclused
on his own little you know he's not making any music anymore that's what i've
heard and so i i i see that like you have these the very unique artist.
And it's like, almost like they get tired of the public.
They get tired of, you know, the drama or they get tired of something.
(36:57):
And they're like, um, this isn't what I signed up for. I'm out, you know?
And, um, I, and I, I, I just have to assume that that's from like just the pressure
of just everything sometimes.
Yeah. You know, the music industry and I mean the entire inner entertainment,
(37:17):
industry this falls under but the music industry specifically i don't think
anyone is ever prepared for what comes with notoriety on any level um and when
you start getting into fame.
(37:38):
The things that come with that, there are a lot of things that come with that that are amazing.
It opens doors for you that you weren't able to walk through before.
Of course, financially, you're set up financially in a lot of ways that you weren't before.
But there are a lot of things that come with that that are negative and depressing
(38:04):
and scary. and just the internet in general is really mean.
I mean, the things that people have said about me on the internet,
on my posts, just tearing me down, my lyrics or my melodies or the way I look
or my hair color, calling me every name you could think of.
(38:24):
And that's also a very easy thing for people to be like, oh,
we'll just ignore the comments.
And you do, but you still see them. And sometimes they still stick with you,
especially when you are putting everything
that you have into this you literally
created something it did not exist before you
yeah and you put your love
(38:47):
and your time and your energy and your hopes and your dreams into this thing
and then you put it out into the world to share with them and they tear it down
can be extremely painful or you know just the fact that you know internet net
stalkers they're scary just there's a lot of weird stuff that comes with that but.
(39:08):
For me i've adopted me even me reaching
out to you to do this it's like you know i
know how that is because
like you know same thing with me which i'm
you know i don't do music and all that stuff the point
is is that you know i get it i get weird messages
weird you know i was doing a live one time
(39:28):
this is right after you know our big platform is you
know suicide prevention you know and i had three family
members commit suicide and so like right
after his death which part of the reason i have so many followers is because
i would post videos about that and the ranch and whatever but but i just got
the most horrible um you know comments during that time and then at one point
(39:54):
People thought I was doing a live.
I was actually, I think I was one of the few people who's ever done it.
And I'm going to continue doing it, which I would do live riding horseback.
And I did it like, you know, for an hour at a time, you know,
I just writing and people loved it.
But also, you know, like this one particular time, somebody thought that I was
(40:16):
actually my dead cousin. It was the weirdest.
And so they're making, and I didn't have a moderator. So it was insane. and I'm like.
You know, sometimes I get discouraged with it. I'm like, oh my gosh.
And then also, you know, watching one thing I really respect about you is that,
you know, I don't have to watch very many videos of yours to know kind of what
(40:38):
you're doing and what you're trying to do.
And, you know, I respect it. I respect your music and I respect what you're trying to do.
But, you know, sometimes it's all about,
for some people, it's all, of course, all about the likes and all about,
you know and it's it's it's really i
mean watch you know tiktok live and you'll be
like oh my gosh what is going on around here finding
(41:01):
your place is difficult in the social media world
for sure i think that i i it is difficult but it's also i feel like we put too
much thought into it if you just and i know this is so cliche but if you could
just be who you are look at other people people that you admire.
(41:22):
And like, if you're struggling with something, and you don't know how to make
a specific type of video or whatever it is, you know, there are so many resources
now that allow for you to learn how to do that.
But if you just continue to be who you are, you will build an audience around that.
And I think, for me, personally,
(41:44):
one of the biggest things that I've struggled with is comparison you
know I'll look at their other artists and
they have more followers than me because at the end of
the day with music our numbers really count and when you work so hard and then
your numbers aren't where you want them or you have somebody creating fake accounts
like people make fake accounts and then people that would have followed me follow
(42:09):
them and they're sealing you know numbers it's just this whole thing like.
But if you can get to a point where you stop comparing yourself to others,
there's really a piece with that that's nice that you just kind of settle into.
(42:29):
I think that comes with some maturity, you know, as we mature and grow and all that.
That so um how would
you describe your like your growth moment currently like i'll give you mine
(42:50):
real quick like i uh let's say something upsets me or bothers me like it may
be in the past i might stew on it for two weeks or something you know and now
i've like i think my growth moment at
this moment is like i'm quicker to recognize
that something's going on and
(43:10):
then like i kind of try to deal with it immediately or
as soon as possible so i don't stay in that headspace for
two weeks um and it could be i mean there
it could be all across the board but i always say like my
mind goes to a 10 and before i might stay at that 10 for a while just mentally
and then now i've started to recognize that and then i try to figure out what's
(43:35):
going on in my head and why i'm out of 10 and try to deal with it i'm curious
what your growth moment currently is.
Currently i feel like ours is slightly similar because i used to go from one
to ten real quick i'd get you know something would upset me and i would react
(43:56):
solely off of emotion and uh now Now,
with my job,
with what I do for a living,
it is so important to have a good handle on your mental health.
Because if you think about it, I mean, all of the people within the music business
(44:17):
that have died young from overdoses and all of these things or suicide or whatever it was,
within the music industry, sex, drugs, and rock and roll, that's glorified.
You want to be a rock star, but that's not sustainable and it will lead to the
deterioration of your life really quickly.
(44:40):
So now if I get really stressed, recognizing old patterns and old behavioral
or old thought patterns and behavioral patterns and saying, okay,
that's not what I, I don't cope that way.
This is what I'm going to do. This is what I'm going to do instead.
And really just implementing healthy coping systems and support systems,
(45:05):
I think, is just something that I continue to do and also practice.
Being more communicative, you know, just really talking through things versus
keeping it all kind of bottled up inside.
You know, if somebody, if something hurts my feelings, I'm going to tell you,
(45:29):
but we're not going to get in a fight about it.
We're just going to talk about it because there's no reason to get worked up.
What's your, you know, I know this is kind of a cliche question,
but I'm always very curious to what people are listening to, like right now.
Like what what kind of music or what is there an
artist or a song or something that you're you know
(45:49):
that you're listening to right now uh well my playlist yesterday i think i was
listening to the steel drivers yeah the steel drivers taylor swift the red play
strays and Lee Bryce yesterday.
So I'm kind of all over the board.
(46:12):
I've been diving into the Taylor Swift album because she's a world phenomenon right now.
And her artistry and everything that she's doing is so well thought out. It's phenomenal.
So I'm a really big fan of the business structure. I love that. I think it's genius.
(46:34):
And for her being a woman in the music industry, doing what she's doing is just incredible.
But I'm a huge fan of the Red Play Strays. Do you know who they are? I don't. I don't.
I'll write that down.
(47:15):
But when they got on stage, it was just, holy freaking crap.
One of those bands, like as soon as I saw them, I was like, these guys are going
to, they're going to hit it because they were just.
Phenomenal so you should definitely look into them they're great i'm going
to so i i want to make sure that you know
i don't take up too much of your time but there's i want to get in a
(47:37):
couple of things one is that i'm going to ask a
favor and i can't you can't even answer yes or
no and i don't expect you to but you know we're doing
a tour of uh kind of
a tour of cities when it comes to our
board members for our even one less and
so we're having these mixer events where we go and we
have music and we we really we have
(47:59):
like a live auction and it's not
so much to raise money it's more of like just getting
the message out there and so we've gone we we've started here in elk city oklahoma
and then we went to midland texas and next we're going to ardmore but we're
going to end and it would be like a year from now so that's why you can't i don't even expect you
(48:22):
to commit to it but uh i mean
meaning that when i have a better date and you know but
i'm assuming like a year from now we're gonna go to nashville we're ending in
nashville and that's awesome i and i want to i want to connect you with a friend
of mine that he's like he's he's a little bit older than i am but his name is
donnie lyles his son is stephen lyles which is with love and theft and son and
(48:47):
he has really been a part of like the concert that i I told you about.
He, he, um, just a super great guy and he lives in Nashville.
And, uh, so we're really going there with, you know, for him because he lives there.
And, and so I would love to have you when we have that event,
I would love to have you there and, and play some music for us.
(49:08):
And, and so, and I know that's a year for me.
Yeah, honestly, I would love that. And you have my, my email.
So just, you know, holler at me once you guys get the details and everything.
And if If I'm in town, I'm always open to doing stuff like that. How open are you to...
Singing like one line or two lines
(49:30):
of your newest song that you just dropped uh should
have been raining or my new song that's out on friday uh you
pick one on the 26th so i mean that or a new one that you're gonna put up uh
what 26 that one comes out that's the one we're talking about that one comes
(49:50):
out yeah yeah that one comes out friday i'm really excited about that i'm keeping that
one under wraps until it until he said,
um, but I can grab my guitar. I don't mind.
I mean, I thought it'd be cool if you don't mind. I don't mind. Let me grab my guitar.
And just remember we're doing mainly audio, not video.
(50:16):
Now I got to tune it because I have not played today. So we don't,
I don't know where she's at or she's sounding.
So the best way. So you're on Spotify. So if people want to find you there while
you're doing that, Emily Elgin, that if they do that on Spotify,
if they search that, they're going to be able to find you on Spotify, right?
(50:39):
Spotify. I'm on all of the streaming platforms. So anywhere you stream music,
you can find me anywhere.
YouTube, Spotify, all of the things you guys listening.
You really need to check out this girl. I was like super impressed.
I don't know how, I think I've been following you for maybe a couple of years now.
(51:00):
And great music.
Check it out. She definitely has a big platform as well on TikTok.
We're almost there.
No pressure.
Yeah, you know, it's so weird. Being an artist nowadays, it is very hard, but it's also hard.
(51:25):
We live in such an exciting time as an independent artist because you have so
much opportunity to push your music.
And so that's one thing that I always try to encourage younger artists when
they get discouraged of like, oh, well, it's so hard and this and that.
And I'm not saying that it's not, but also don't lose sight of the incredible
(51:52):
opportunity that you have right now that didn't exist 30 years ago. Yeah.
I'm sure you've heard this song. If you haven't, maybe go back later and listen
to it. It's called The Ride by David Allen Cole.
Yes. But one of the things he talks, kind of a lyric in there or whatever,
he talks about basically, can you make people feel?
(52:12):
Feel and i for me when i think about like
you know listening to your stuff and you
know my favorite music it's like the stuff that
makes me feel i think is super
impactful and and what's funny is that
you know just just like everything in life like music
is definitely it's about the situation the
(52:34):
place you're at in life so if you're going through a
breakup then you're going to be listen to more breakup songs and
you're in love you're gonna listen to more love songs but i
think that the the one thing those things have in common
is is that they make you feel you know
and you know the cool thing about you can have like
a definite like party song and the same thing though it makes you feel and you're
(52:57):
excited and i mean how many times have like you heard people like in the shower
talking about you know singing this song or some song stuck in your head and
i think I think that your music really does make you feel.
And, but that's where, when I think about that, I think about that David Allen
Cole song, because, you know, that's really what, you know, and it's,
(53:20):
you know, the story about him going to, or whatever, the guy going to Nashville.
And so anyway, I'll let you go. It is.
It's very interesting. I think that emotion, if your song holds no emotion,
it's just, what is it? It's not a song.
It's got to have some sort of, got to be able to evoke emotion of some sort.
(53:44):
So i i think that i love that and i think that that's really really important
and i mean anything that's created is created you know with emotion so i think
every song holds it it's just if it's,
kind of your vibe or not you know well i like it you talked about it's in your
(54:05):
place you know if you're in that place if you listen to a breakup song you're
not breaking up with anybody then it probably doesn't have as much impact as 100% of or whatever.
When I was in my early 20s and the Rascal Flat CD, What Hurts the Most, I wore that thing out.
(54:29):
It got me through that breakup.
I'll never forget it. But speaking of breakups, this is a breakup song.
This should have been raining.
(54:50):
The lantern's swaying in a slow breeze
And a cloud in
the sky Buzzing off the ground when the house band's playing You look wonderful
tonight And if the stars weren't shining so bright Maybe I'd have seen goodbye
in your eyes Love don't deserve to die on a night like tonight,
(55:15):
It should have been right when it happened That's why I'm talking to you,
boy, I'm gonna be sad Baby, don't go, don't leave me I'm gonna die big,
yeah, I'm gonna die big, yeah That's all I know, it's gotta be true, yeah Oh,
no, it should have been right Hey, hey, hey.
(55:44):
That's awesome the job i
will say it's like i wish that um for
the people listening of course we're doing zoom audio through
internet so it doesn't give you the and and that's hate that part but i i want
to encourage people to find you and you know spotify or any of the apple you
(56:04):
know or any of the music you know streaming website instead you're definitely
somebody worth following and listening to.
And, you know, I, um, I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking the
time. I mean, that means a lot. It really does.
And, and I'm hoping that, you know, that there can be a way where you can work
together in the future, you know, possibly, you know, whenever we come into
(56:28):
Nashville and all those things.
And, you know, we're, I'd like to have a concert here. Maybe we can get you
to come back home for a little bit too.
Do stuff like that I want to make sure,
yeah I want to make sure that you know people can we talked about the music
and where they can find you tell what other is there any other place that you
(56:50):
they can go and find out more information about you and your music,
yeah I've got a website it's emilyelginmusic.com and it's got my tour dates
and just information about me my merch and I've got some t-shirts I'll be adding
and things like that and all of them, social media, I've got YouTube, Facebook.
Instagram, TikTok, all of the major platforms. I did want to tell you that I
(57:15):
feel grateful for you asking me to be here. I love what you guys are doing.
The suicide prevention, I think, is so important. I've got two family members
in my family that died from suicide.
I think that your work that you're doing is very impactful and it's very important.
Thank you. I'm trying to find a unique way of doing it. you know,
(57:38):
and it's hard because there's a lot of people out there who are dealing with mental health.
I mean, like probably Nashville has it, you know, Oklahoma has it where Texas has it, where it's nine,
eight, eight, you know, to call, but, and those things are very valuable,
but I'm also trying to find it's, it's like, I always think about it like the middle ground.
It's like, what about people who are struggling?
(58:01):
They're not even to that point yet. They're not to that point.
And, and it's like, I love hearing stories about people that are able to overcome
even in the smallest ways.
You know, that's why your story about how you moved from Oklahoma to Nashville
is such an like inspiration to me because that's way outside comfort zones.
(58:24):
You know, you've seen the way I watch your tech talks and, you know,
it's funny because again, Again, we have probably the same amount of followers on TikTok,
but the difference is, is that I don't, I rarely turn the camera to me because
I'm very, maybe insecure about that or whatever.
But as you, you, you put yourself out there and you have to,
(58:45):
I mean, I know I get that as an artist and to be able to like even get on here
and sing and, you know, but make videos that are vulnerable.
There's a lot of your videos where you're being vulnerable, you know?
And you're really, this is who I am. And I have a ton of respect for that. And I think that that.
(59:08):
For me, like when I got on TikTok, how many ever years ago,
the one thing that I really loved about the platform was that I felt like that
you have people being themselves and that vulnerability is what really attracted people.
Now it's kind of shifted in some ways with, you know, shopping and all that stuff.
(59:31):
But I think that that's really what people care about. I mean,
you mentioned Taylor Swift and Taylor Swift is I think that people see a vulnerability
in her. They see a relatability.
And, you know, and I think the same thing with you. Whenever I watch your videos,
it's like I think there's a vulnerability and a relatability there.
(59:51):
And I think that really inspires people. And, you know, you're doing it.
And I want to just encourage you that that that works,
you know, and just be that person to say, you know, say, hey,
even though it's like been in the distance or outside looking in,
it's like, man, I think that you really, you're onto something with your vulnerability
(01:00:14):
and honest and just putting yourself out there.
Thank you. That, honestly, that means a lot to me because the reason that I
do that is because number one, like I said earlier, I think mental health is so important.
And I feel that the more we talk about it and the more we're open and honest
(01:00:34):
about it, that it's not this big taboo thing,
then more people, if they do start to struggle, they will feel better about reaching out.
Because I feel like a lot of the reason that people don't reach out is because
they're ashamed, they're embarrassed, they don't understand and all of those things.
(01:00:56):
But whenever I decided to do this and whenever I decided to get on TikTok and
just social media in general, professionally, I made a decision to always be who I am.
Because number one, playing a character all the time, all day,
every day, it's not sustainable. That's exhausting. No.
(01:01:20):
And I wanted my followers and my fans to know who I am as a person before they buy into my music.
If you like my music, you like me, you know, and I just, I want that to,
to, to correlate really well together.
I don't want to have to worry about doing something or saying something that's off brand with who I am.
(01:01:43):
I am who I am and I can change that. And I want to be able to have a platform
that shows other people.
It doesn't matter where you come from what you've done in your past the mistakes
you've made if you struggle with anxiety and depression and ptsd and all of these other things,
you can still have a successful life with whatever success means to you it's
possible like i did it you can do it anybody can do this and i really think
(01:02:06):
you are a great advocate for that i i mean that i um that's why i was like i
want i reached out to you because i'm like this girl is being herself.
And I think that's sustainable.
You know, I really do. And I think it's for kind of this greater good, you know, it really is.
It's like, if we are being ourself and we're being open and vulnerable,
(01:02:29):
it's, you know, the whole stigma thing, you know, it's like.
You know, this, the error of like, let's put on a mask and act like everything's fine.
And I don't have any struggles and everything's perfect in my world that I hope it goes away forever.
Because in my mind, it's like everybody who I really, who I talk to and interact
(01:02:51):
with, I start to see that we're all struggling. We all have problems.
We're all in the ability to support each other in it, even though you can't
maybe relate exactly to what they're going through. It's powerful.
And I think that your music and your videos and the social media that you put
(01:03:13):
out there does exactly that. So thank you so much.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Music.
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