Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships. Looking for old episode from "Relatable"? Click here.

Episodes

Knowing How To Name Emotions Will Deepen Your Connection To Yourself And Others

June 11, 2025 • 54 mins
Being able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to navigate conflict and communicate more...
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Making Non-Evil, Generous Assumptions About Our Partner’s Responses

June 4, 2025 • 53 mins
In this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connectio...
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When Are Needs Implied In A Relationship Vs When Should They Be Made Explicit

May 28, 2025 • 58 mins
Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer p...
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For When You Feel Disillusioned In Your Relationship

May 21, 2025 • 54 mins
This episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the...
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How Much Of Our Intimate Partner Relationships We Should Be Sharing

May 14, 2025 • 51 mins
This episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, culture, and attachment styles shape ...
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How To Know When To Call It Quits In A Relationship

May 7, 2025 • 50 mins
In this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult. They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episode encourages self-trust, gathe...
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How to Know When To Take A Break in Conflict

April 30, 2025 • 50 mins
In this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emphasizes that reframing breaks not as...
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How To Handle Different Paces In Emotional Growth

April 23, 2025 • 49 mins
When emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open dialogue, and creative ways to reco...
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Why Do My Partner And I Have Different Sex Drives

April 16, 2025 • 51 mins
Explore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s needs. The conversation also challeng...
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What To Do When Your Partner is Still Defensive

April 9, 2025 • 46 mins
In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond ca...
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How To Let People Feel Their Feelings

April 2, 2025 • 47 mins
The concept of "letting people feel their feelings" may be confusing to some, however in this episode, Colter, Cayla and Lauren emphasize the importance of allowing others to experience emotions like anger, disappointment, or frustration without trying to fix, dismiss, or control them. Listen to unpack the internal discomfort that often drives our impulse to manage others’ emotions, which can stem from fear of being misunderstood, ...
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How To Decide What Are Non-Negotiables In A Relationship

March 26, 2025 • 51 mins
This episode of the Relationship Advice podcast explores the value of creating a Non-Negotiables List to establish clear boundaries and expectations in relationships. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss how striking the right balance—neither too rigid nor too lenient—can lead to healthier connections in both dating and marriage. They also offer practical strategies for crafting a personalized list that promotes self-awareness, intent...
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Curiosity Over Questioning

March 19, 2025 • 52 mins
What’s the difference between curiosity and questioning in relationships? Learn about the importance of approaching emotional challenges with openness rather than interrogation. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren share their personal journey into couples therapy, attachment theory, and the development of resources to help individuals heal from anxious attachment.  In this episode, they talk about topics such as:  Difference in Curiosity a...
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How To Heal Insecure Attachment With Julie Menanno

March 12, 2025 • 58 mins
Joined by special guest, Julie Menanno, our hosts sit down to discuss how to heal insecure attachment by focusing on self-awareness, emotional regulation, and developing a secure relationship with oneself. She emphasizes that attachment wounds manifest through self-abandonment, which leads to unhealthy relational patterns. Healing involves learning to sit with and process difficult emotions rather than seeking external reassurance,...
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Boundaries & What's Right

March 5, 2025 • 55 mins
Explore the tension between personal experience and factual correctness in relationships, particularly in boundary-setting and decision-making. The hosts discuss how relying too heavily on logic and research to "win" arguments can create gridlock and emotional disconnection, emphasizing the importance of curiosity, empathy, and slowing down difficult conversations. They demonstrate how shifting from a debate-style approach to one f...
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Rituals

February 26, 2025 • 47 mins
This episode explores the importance of rituals in relationships, emphasizing how they create trust, connection, and predictability between partners. Whether it is daily acts, like greeting each other after work or having a bedtime routine, or larger, less frequent traditions, like weekly date nights, annual celebrations, or even rituals for personal space. Without these conversations, there an be an unspoken expectations around ri...
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What Is A Negative Couples Cycle?

February 19, 2025 • 47 mins
A negative couples cycle is a recurring pattern of interaction in which partners react to each other’s protective moves, escalating conflict rather than addressing the underlying emotions. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren illustrate how miscommunication and emotional defenses—such as criticism, defensiveness, or withdrawal—reinforce each other in a self-perpetuating loop. By identifying these cycles and understanding the emotions driving ...
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Sex: When To Say Yes & When To Say No

February 12, 2025 • 51 mins
Today Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into the “taboo” topic of sex, offering advice on when to say yes and when to say no. This episode explores how partners can navigate differences in sexual desire by recognizing how things like stress, emotional connection, and personal preferences impact intimacy and why a simple "yes" or "no" isn’t always the best response.  In the episode, we touch on topics such as: Understanding Individua...
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Boundaries

February 5, 2025 • 48 mins
Today Colter, Lauren and Cayla dive into boundaries, emphasizing their importance in maintaining personal energy, trust, and healthy relationships. The hosts delve into the pitfalls of rigid or non-existent boundaries, offering strategies to navigate requests thoughtfully while prioritizing individual values and needs. By sharing real-life examples, they highlight how to say "yes," "no," or propose counter-offers based on personal ...
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Pursuers

January 28, 2025 • 58 mins
We hate absolutes, but are pretty confident in saying that every relationship has a pursuer and a withdrawer. In this two part series we are breaking down each of these roles, how to help, how to love, how to communicate. And if there are two podcasts you listen to of ours let this be them! In this episode we discuss: The protective moves that pursuers gravitate towards How pursuers handle conflict How we can love our pursuer p...
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