Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice

Relationship Advice helps listeners uncover the stuck spots in their relationships by taking expert advice from three licensed professional counselors and boiling it down into digestible tips and tools. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren help people to see that the first step to connecting with somebody else is by connecting with you. They focus their show on understanding and navigating the cycles that couples face, how to practice individuation, and staying in an emotionally regulated state. Just them each week as they come with a jam packed agenda to help you thrive in your relationships. Looking for old episode from "Relatable"? Click here.

Episodes

Breaking Old Patterns for Deeper Love with Stefanos Sifandos

July 6, 2026 • 57 mins
FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge Check out Relationship Academy!  In this episode, we talk with Stefanos Sifandos about how old wounds, relational patterns, and emotional reactivity can shape the way we show up in love. He shares why healthy relationships require self-awareness, repair, and a willingness to take responsibility for the patterns we bring into connection. This conversation explores how couples can move beyond blam...
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Relational Injuries

July 2, 2026 • 47 mins
Today we dive into Relational Injuries! Relational injuries come in all kinds of relationships and we will cover what it is, and how it happens. We explore the distinction between relational injuries and typical relationship challenges. And we will teach you how to recognize when a situation escalates to a relational injury. Once we know what relational injuries are, we will discuss the expectations of having relationships with ot...
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What Our Withdrawer Spouse Can Teach Us

June 27, 2026 • 54 mins
FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge Check out Relationship Academy!  In this episode, we explore what pursuers can learn from withdrawer partners instead of seeing them as the “problem” in the relationship. Withdrawers often bring steadiness, pacing, self-regulation, and a needed reminder that not every issue has to be solved immediately. When pursuers can appreciate these differences, couples can move out of blame a...
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How To Treat Trauma

June 25, 2026 • 48 mins
FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge Check out Relationship Academy!  In this episode, we talk about what trauma treatment actually looks like and why healing is not as simple as “telling the story” or getting the memory out of your brain. Trauma is not only stored as information. It is often held in the body, in our nervous system, and in the protective responses we learned in order to survive. Because of this, effe...
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How To Know If They Are "The One"

June 22, 2026 • 54 mins
How do you know when someone is truly the person you want to build a life with? In this episode, we talk about the big question so many people ask in dating: How do I know if they’re “the one”? We share how we each knew with our own partners, then walk through the real-life markers that can help you understand the long-term viability of a relationship. In this episode, we explore: Shared values Emotio...
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What Is Trauma?

June 18, 2026 • 41 mins
[2:13 PM]This week on Relationship Advice we dive deep into the definition of trauma and its profound impact on our lives. In this episode, we unravel the essence of trauma, defining it as anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, persistently leaving unmet needs in its wake. Join us as we explore the lines between the body and trauma, where we experience freezing feelings, securing them in metaphorical boxes, and employing gu...
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How To Stop Jealousy From Sabotaging Your Relationship

June 15, 2026 • 58 mins
Jealousy and envy can feel shameful, but they often reveal important fears, longings, and unmet needs beneath the surface. In this episode, we explore the difference between jealousy, the fear of losing something we already have, and envy, the pain of wanting something we do not feel like we have. We also talk through how to slow these emotions down, bring them to your partner with vulnerability, and move away from control, critici...
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Emotional Regulation and Why It’s Important In Relationships: Part 2

June 11, 2026 • 47 mins
In part two of our Emotional Regulation series, we’re talking all about co-regulation — how to regulate with your partner, friend, or someone you trust.While some people naturally want closeness and support when they’re overwhelmed, others need space before they’re ready to connect. In this episode, we break down why both independent regulation and co-regulation matter, how to know what your partner may need...
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Connection vs Safety

June 8, 2026 • 53 mins
In this episode, we talk about how couples can use simple “scales” to better understand each other’s energy, desire, and capacity. Instead of assuming what your partner means when they seem tired, anxious, disconnected, or resistant, naming where you are can turn confusion into context. These tools help couples move out of all-or-nothing thinking and into clearer, more generous communication. Main talking point...
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Emotional Regulation and Why It’s Important In Relationships: Part 1

June 4, 2026 • 50 mins
Today we are discussing what it really means to regulate. You know that feeling when you are suddenly not quite in control of yourself? Maybe your body gets tense, your thoughts start moving fast, your tone shifts, or you feel like you might say or do something you would not normally say or do. That is often a sign that your nervous system is activated and needs support.In this episode, Cayla, Colter, and Lauren break down what sel...
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Anger in Relationships

June 1, 2026 • 59 mins
Anger can feel disruptive in relationships, but it often shows up for a reason: it signals that something important feels blocked, unfair, or violated. In this episode, we explore how anger can either push partners into blame, shutdown, and disconnection, or help clarify needs, values, and boundaries when it’s expressed with regulation. The goal isn’t to get rid of anger, but to understand it, lower its intensity, and c...
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‘You Can’t Do This’ Is NOT A Boundary

May 28, 2026 • 43 mins
If there is one thing to know about boundaries, it is that a boundary is not about what you need somebody else to do. It is about what you are going to do in response to somebody else’s behavior. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss boundaries from a psychotherapeutic lens and give tools for how to better communicate boundaries. Main Talking Points:  Our bodies are the indicator for when we need to set boundaries. ...
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Withdrawers: When Keeping the Peace Backfires

May 25, 2026 • 55 mins
In this episode, the crew dives into the “withdrawer” role in relationships and how rigid, all-or-nothing responses can quietly create disconnection. They unpack why withdrawers often appease, shut down, or avoid conflict altogether — not because they don’t care, but because disappointing their partner feels intolerable. The conversation explores healthier alternatives to passive or rigid boundaries, includi...
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Before You Pack: The Conversations Every Couple Needs Before Vacation

May 18, 2026 • 50 mins
Vacation stress usually isn’t about the trip itself — it’s about the unspoken expectations couples bring into it. In this episode, the hosts unpack the conversations that can completely change the tone of a vacation before you ever leave the driveway: money, planning, intimacy, parenting, downtime, technology, and more. They explore how different nervous systems, personalities, and expectations can either create c...
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Finding Secure Attachment with Trevor Hanson

May 11, 2026 • 58 mins
This week we are joined by Trevor Hanson who shares his personal journey from anxious attachment and relationship struggles to becoming a therapist focused on helping others build secure attachment. He emphasizes that real transformation comes through emotional experiences—not just information—and outlines a structured approach to rewiring attachment patterns. Through practical tools like self-validation, inner child wo...
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Everything That Comes Before Intimacy with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith

May 4, 2026 • 50 mins
What does “true intimacy” actually mean—and why do so many couples feel disconnected even when they love each other? In this episode, we sit down with Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and co-authors of Building True Intimacy, to unpack the deeper layers of connection most relationships are missing. We dive into their Intimacy Pyramid™ framework—a powerful model that explains why ...
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When To End A Relationship

April 27, 2026 • 41 mins
Ending a relationship is rarely about one big moment—it’s usually a pattern that keeps repeating despite effort, conversations, and growing awareness. This episode explores how to tell the difference between normal relationship challenges that can be worked through and deeper signs of incompatibility or emotional disconnection. We talk about what it looks like when one or both partners stop showing up, when the same con...
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Don’t Punish the Vulnerability You’ve Been Begging For

April 20, 2026 • 59 mins
This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety through vali...
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Attachment Styles on First Dates (What to Watch For)

April 13, 2026 • 66 mins
This episode explores how attachment styles subtly show up on first dates and what to watch for without overanalyzing every interaction. The hosts emphasize that instead of trying to “screen perfectly,” the real work is understanding your own attachment patterns and how they influence who you’re drawn to. By noticing communication patterns, emotional pacing, and responses to vulnerability, you can better identify ...
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Stop Saying "Calm Down"—Do This Instead

April 4, 2026 • 51 mins
Telling someone to “calm down” usually does the opposite—it makes people feel dismissed, misunderstood, and even more activated. In this episode, the hosts explore why that phrase backfires in moments of anger, anxiety, disappointment, or excitement, and why it often comes from the other person feeling overwhelmed too. They unpack a better approach: co-regulation through validation, steady presence, gentler tone, ...
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