From Burnout to Becoming: A Mother’s Relaunch

This one’s personal.

In this heartfelt solo episode, I open up about something I see so many women struggle with—especially those who’ve spent years giving to everyone else. It’s the slow, quiet burnout that creeps in when caretaking becomes your identity… and your needs slowly fade to the background.

This episode—From Burnout to Becoming: A Mother’s Relaunch—isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about finding yourself again. The version of you that once dreamed, created, and felt lit up by life. The one who’s still there, waiting underneath the exhaustion, the guilt, and the “shoulds.”

Whether you’re deep in motherhood, caretaking for a loved one, or just feeling like you’ve forgotten what you want—this is your permission slip to begin again.

Because when you choose yourself, you don’t just rise—you raise everyone around you, too.

Highlights:

00:40 – The Disappearing Act of Motherhood

How constantly giving to others can quietly erase the parts of us that used to feel alive and inspired.

04:25 – Reclaiming Yourself Without Guilt

Why choosing joy and honoring your desires is not selfish—it’s essential.

08:10 – Three Ways to Begin Again

Simple but powerful shifts—like sacred scheduling and mini rituals—that help you feel more like you again.

13:00 – From Just Liking Your Life to Loving It

How small moments of presence and pleasure can reconnect you to your dreams and your worth.

16:50 – The Ripple Effect of Living Fully

Choosing yourself doesn’t just change your life—it becomes permission for others to do the same.

Hilary’s 3HQ™ Takeaway

This is what 3HQ™ is all about:

Reclaiming your Head (the thoughts that tell you you're not doing enough), reconnecting with your Heart (the desires you’ve pushed aside), and letting your Highest Self lead you forward with ease, purpose, and joy.

You don’t need to become someone new.

You just need to come back to the woman you’ve always been.

Connect with Hilary: 

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LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/hilarydecesare/ 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/hilarydecesare/ 

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@hilarydecesare 

Interested in being a guest on the ReLaunch Podcast or booking Hilary as a guest? Email Us at [e-mail] 

Find Us on Your Favorite Podcast App – https://the-silver-lined-relaunch.captivate.fm/listen

Episode Transcript

Hilary DeCesare (00:00):
Motherhood, caretaking, being the anchor for a family. These are actually profound gifts. They're some of the highest callings in life. But somewhere along the way, many of us start disappearing into the role. Can I ask you, have you felt like that? Are you like? Waving your hand right now, yeah, Hillary, that's me, and we stop asking. What lights us up? What lights me up? What do I dream about? Who am I beyond the labels?

(00:40):
Welcome to Relaunch to a Rich Life. I'm Hilary DeCesare, and today's episode is a gentle but powerful nudge for every woman who's been pouring into others for so long, whether you're a brand new mama adjusting to life with a tiny little human or you're looking around an empty house, wondering where the years went. This conversation is for you, because here's the truth, it's your turn now, not Sunday, not after everything's handled, but now today, we're talking about why treating yourself and turning back into you isn't just a luxury, it's the secret to stepping into the richest chapter of your life. Imagine that we're now coming upon Mother's Day, and before we dive deeper, I want to share something that's really personal.

(01:44):
When I lost my mom and it's been almost five years, it was one of the hardest relaunches of my life. There were so many moments, especially as I was raising my own children, trying to build new dreams, and then always facing additional relaunches, right? Those challenges, and I felt like, Oh, this is when I need you the most. And I needed her advice, her warmth, her voice, reminding me, Hillary, you got this. And there were days that I found myself thinking, I'm too tired to dream right now, I'll wait until things slow down. This is my life right now. This is it. But here's the truth, life never really slows down, and waiting means missing the chance to live and honor the life that she would have actually wanted for me. My mom would have wanted me to shine, to keep becoming even when it felt hard. And if you've lost someone that you love, and I know there's a lot of people that I have worked with that have lost somebody so significant that, that mom, one of my clients, called and she was crying, and she's like, I talked to her 510, times a day. And now there's this void. I get it. I get it.

(03:17):
And for some of you, you might just simply feel lost in the busyness of life. And I want you to know the people who love you most want you to live fully, the ones on this planet, the ones that are beyond the veil. They want you to say yes to your dreams. They do not want you to hold it back. They want you to remember you that you were made for more so motherhood, caretaking, being the anchor for a family. These are actually profound gifts. They're some of the highest callings in life. But somewhere along the way, many of us start disappearing into the role. Can I ask you? Have you felt like that? Are you like waving your hand right now? Yeah, Hillary, that's me, and we stop asking. What lights us up? What lights me up? What do I dream about? Who am I? Beyond the labels? It's not because we're weak, it's because we are wired to nurture.

(04:37):
I'd love to tell you a little story. I remember speaking with Lisa. She's a mom of three, and she shared that after 20 years of running carpools, organizing school events, she looked in the mirror one day and thought, Where did I go? How many of you sometimes, or maybe we don't even give ourselves a chance to see that reflection, I'd have. Scale. Look in the mirror tonight, tomorrow, not at the wrinkles, not at what's not good anymore, but like you, deep inside your eyes. And some of you might have to say, where did I go? I need to find me. And it took one small phrase, step, signing up for I'll never forget. She called said, I signed up for a cooking class. And she had always dreamed of taking these cooking classes, and, you know, never happened, because again, well, I'll get to it someday, someday, and it hadn't. And that was the spark that reignited her. That's when she's like, Oh my God, I feel the butterflies again. So the world doesn't just need the nurturer, the world needs the whole you alive, lit up, inspired.

(05:58):
So if you've been feeling guilty, which I know I did. I had that guilt of like, I'm with the kids. I'm not with the kids. I'm working I'm working too hard. I'm taking myself away from the kids, and I put myself way down on the list. Everyone was above me, or even if you're just confused about wanting more for yourself right now, I want you to hear this loud and clear for this Mother's Day. Or actually, it's not just Mother's Day, it's any day of the year. Wanting more doesn't make you less of anything. It makes you a human so when you stop growing, you stop dreaming, you stop imagining. That's when you actually slowly dim. You dim those lights. Science shows us that your brain needs new goals and dreams to stay vibrant and alive. You know, I like a little ancient wisdom in here, and it reminds us, every cycle of giving must be followed by a cycle of receiving. Otherwise the well dries up.

(07:15):
You may think, right now, oh my gosh, this is exactly what I needed to hear. And I hope it is, I hope it's my gift to you. You don't have to earn time for yourself. You already have. And I'm going to say it right now, it's your turn. When you prioritize even a little space for yourself, you know what happens? Your creativity, your desires. You don't become less of a mother, a partner, a friend. You actually become more vibrant, more present, more alive. So I'm going to give you three simple ways that you can start reclaiming you today. All right. First, I really want you to schedule your you time. I want you to schedule it like it's a family event. You're not going to skip that, right? You're not going to skip your child's soccer game. You know, would you cancel a school meeting last minute? No. So why is your dream negotiable? Start putting your own time on the calendar, and I want you to literally think of it as sacred.

(08:29):
So I'm going to tell you Jessica. She's a mom of two teens, and she said, when I started blocking off two hours every Saturday for my painting, her painting. Her whole family adjusted. She was like, they can. They're not going to be able to handle it without me. I have to be there present all the time. No, no, they even started protecting her time. They were like, no, no, that's mom's time. And it taught her kids that dreams don't expire and that mom's Joy matters. And guess what? Mom was more present after she did this, after she painted, after she had her time, all right, but let's go into number two. I want you to ask yourself, what would I love? Not just what's practical. When was the last time you asked yourself that? Maybe it's signing up for an art class, maybe it's that cooking class, maybe it's walking a trail I love hiking. Maybe it's something like having some just one on one time of just being able to read a book listen to a podcast. Maybe it's like reaching out to a friend and having like either a virtual coffee date or in person. Maybe it's just being with you without guilt.

(09:11):
Let me tell you about Marcia, empty nester. Always dreamed of writing poet. Tree, but thought it was impractical. Like, oh yeah, no. I've never really done it. I'm not that good at it. It could be anything, everyone. It could be, literally, like pottery. It could be, of course, you're not hearing me say, do more work. I'm not talking about that right now. Well, one day she visited an a local, actual, a mic night, and she ended up reading one of her works that she had in her phone. She did it from stage. She's like, Oh, my God, this is like, crazy that I'm doing it. But she was like, my soul finally exhaled. She's like, I finally felt like, yeah, I need to do this. So maybe that mic is like, go to an improv class. Be like, find out who you are, not just looking in that mirror and trying to find you behind your own eyes, but who are you? Another, another suggestion number three, create a small ritual just for you. It could be a could be a morning like journal prompt. It could be, oh, God, how much do I love this the evening little dance routine before I leave my office and I head into CE, I'm like, oh, I need a little dance break. This morning, I did the same thing. I gave myself that moment of just like listening to a song and like jamming out, maybe it's a Sunday morning coffee ritual, tea ritual, where you plan your week and you put it into your calendar as me time, you are the most important thing on that calendar. So, okay, have another example. Some of us are getting to the age where our kids are getting engaged. Some are, are you know, you're you're older, and you've got some grand babies right now.

(11:57):
So there was a woman and Sharon, I'll never forget this. She created a daily tea ceremony where she wrote down what at that point she literally had her tea. She'd be like, What am I grateful for right now? And she'd always start with like, Okay, I'm grateful for how this tea is tasting to me. She tried new teas. She do all that, and then she said it was amazing, because she only did this for 15 minutes. But those were the ones that initially it was hard. She actually was, like, struggling to figure out, like, you know, what am I grateful for? But by the end of the first week, she's like, Oh my gosh, the list was longer and longer, and she started to feel like, okay, wait a second. If I could do this. She wasn't overly happy with her life at that point, I have to tell you. She said, You know what? I'm starting to feel like me again. And what if I didn't just like my life? What if I started to love my life? You often hear about me talking about Evil Knievel, and then it's really hard everyone to go from you hear it out there all the time, like, you gotta love your life, love this, love that.

(13:10):
Well, if you're not that excited about it, if you're not let like, dig in your life. It's awfully hard to do the Evil Knievel, jump right over like. So sometimes we gotta go like, first before we go to love. And I want you to think about like, all these new practices. They are a little bit like starting fresh, like relaunching. And with this, you're starting with everything already. You've already have the wisdom in you. You're just like tweaking it. You're just like saying, what is it? What is it that's going to light you up? This is next level. It's not abandoning, like, what you know, some of these other things. It's adding to it. And people like, oh, I don't have enough time to add to my plate, really, really. Or is it that that's just another limiting belief that you're putting out there? Is that just another story that you're just too busy being busy? I guarantee when you put in that 10 minutes of me time, DM me, let me know what happens. Doesn't take long. All right, so here's the thing, I want you to be thinking your next level isn't about abandoning or kind of like thinking like, oh, who you've been. No. This is about evolution. This is about expanding into where you are becoming.

(14:36):
You often hear me talk about tune in this incredible process that I teach of going from a low vibration to a high vibration. Why do we want to do that? Because where you're going isn't at the energetic level you're at right now. I call it tune in, and I want you to think about tuning in today. Take 10 minutes. Just for you, no guilt, no agenda. Just ask yourself, what would feel like? So good for me right now? What would it be? And then say, Yes, I remember I used to just go hot from my office into the, you know, family room, and I'd be like, you know, oh my god, dinner and what's gonna happen, and everything. And I did this small thing. I ended up going in, and I'd be like, I'm just gonna change my outfit. I'm just gonna put on my Comfies, I'm gonna put on my sweatshirt, I'm gonna put on my, like, fuzzy slippers, and that was enough to shift everything for me. And then I'm like, God, that that's been great. It's really kind of changed everything for me. Then I'm like, maybe a nighttime bath, adding in like, you know, those, like, oh, you only have a couple of those, like, bath salts, or the really, really great things, you know, I'll use those maybe, you know, on a really special day. Heck no. You know what I ended up doing. I ended up buying really great bath products, and I use them. I use them because I deserve it, and you deserve it. And when you show up for yourself, you give everyone around you permission to do the same. That's so key.

(16:16):
So as we celebrate Mother's Day, and as we celebrate you day, every day. I want you to remember this. You are not just someone's mother, daughter, sister, friend. You are someone's inspiration. And when you choose to keep dreaming, keep growing, keep saying yes to your own life, it creates a ripple effect. You show others what's possible. You breathe life into a legacy that stretches for beyond your time here.

(16:50):
So today, my wish for you is simple, choose you, not someday, today, because the world needs your light, huh? Now more than ever. So here's something beautiful that you can carry forward and maybe even share with someone you love today. The greatest gift we can give those we love is to live fully ourselves. The greatest gift that we can give those we love is to live fully ourselves. Send it to your daughter, send it to your best friend, send it to yourself. Let it be a blessing, a reminder. Let it be that spark. And if you're ready to keep tuning in and relaunching yourself into this next season, whatever that season might be for you visit, relaunch to a rich life.com. Relaunch to a rich life.com.

(17:51):
Remember our relaunch to a rich life event is happening this September in beautiful Scottsdale, Arizona, and we've just started like launching the whole beautiful site, what the event is, and it is going to be an experience of re launching you, of elevating you, of putting you first. And that's where, when you say yes to you, you can kind of figure out at that point, how are you even with a small thing like saying yes to a ticket to a three day event? Imagine, imagine the last night of the event, there's going to be a gold carpet, and that's where I ask you to come as your future identity. That's you. She's already here. She so desperately wants to be on that gold carpet. She so desperately wants to say, I'm in. I'm here. It's my time. It's go time.

(18:59):
So right now, I want you give yourself that big hug, throw your arms around you, and until next time, keep dreaming, keep becoming and know that you are loved beyond words. Happy Mother's Day to you, beautiful soul. You.