How To Coach Like Indiana University's Bobby Knight | Ep 470 - ROI Podcast™ — the #1 Entrepreneurial Business meets Comedy podcast hosted by Law Smith + Eric Readinger

Episode Transcript
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Law Smith (00:00):
Music. Man, Rusty baby, how

Eric Readinger, Fractional CMO, Producer and Head Of Media (00:02):
do I do it? Here

Law Smith (00:05):
are we recording? We're going,

Unknown (00:07):
Yeah, fuck, oh, go. You

Law Smith (00:08):
got no hood on. Where's your hood for the for
the video? So you're so hoodwith your what is this? You're
like a shaman for a preschool.I'm a man. I'm for Ayahuasca.
Thanks. Mike Gundy,

well, that's true.

Law Smith (00:23):
We are the podcast formerly known as sweat equity.
We'll get into that in a minute,number one comedy business
podcast in the world,

okay, no matter all discombobulated,
no

Law Smith (00:38):
matter what her name is, we're still the number one.
Listen to this on iTunes, Applepodcast, Spotify period. We're
just the number one. We'renumber one. This episode
sponsored by zuppi still knowthat one? The first search
optimized AI writer. Zuppiacjust launched the first AI
writer on the market. I'm notgonna read the copy. You know

(00:59):
what? Go to zeppiak, yeah, I'msure. Go to zeppeak.com. Z, u,
p, y, a, k.com, promo code.Sweat gets the hook up. Holler,
if you hear me, can I get somemaster? P,

what? No, I don't have master.

Law Smith (01:18):
And if you want 50% off flow, desk, email,
marketing, my fave. We gotepisode in the episode
description. We have the linkthere, Squarespace, call rail,
LinkedIn, premium, two monthfree, and bloom invoicing. All
links are in the episodedescription. Let's get this
party started.

We're going with this for now.
That one of the incrementalthing,

Law Smith (01:51):
why you can't find it, what?

Oh, we have the music. It's not
gotta get oh right,

Law Smith (01:58):
oh yeah, 500 times. Oh, yeah, creative rebranding,
yeah, I've got an idea for introsong I've been sitting on for a
while. Here we go sit on it.Well, you know, my favorite
genre of music is, uh,

country fable. Music is 80s,

Law Smith (02:21):
like 80s with a wrap over it. Okay?

So, like heart,

Law Smith (02:29):
so the chick heart, what walk this way with aer
Smith, my favorite band maybetried to name my daughter, A, E,
R, O, how'd that go? It was shotdown, and everybody I told
thought it was a fucking idiotfor even seriously pushing it
out there.

I was gonna, you know, I'm not
gonna say anything about hername.

Law Smith (02:51):
Look, middle name's Ava, and she had four Ava's in a
preschool class of, like, 20,right?

Nobody's original.

Law Smith (02:59):
It was the hit name. They

opened the name book, and it's the A's.
Oh, okay, that's what we did.Avery boom, right there?

Law Smith (03:06):
Well, we got a lot, all the women our family got A's
going on, so we

weren't as lazy as the AVA people, you
know,

Law Smith (03:13):
I mean, but in that crazy just statistically, just
having that many, yeah, I

guess you know,

Law Smith (03:21):
it wasn't a popular name 10 years before that. You
know, fucking unicorn thing isnot very good. You're wearing
like a Snuggie. But doing mymovement, you look like you
would do a Wim Hof kind ofbreathing exercise with people,
yeah,

on mushrooms, yeah, at a music
fest,

Law Smith (03:38):
right? You're like, come into this tent. This is
where you cool off. Yeah,

if I go Burning Man, we should go,
this is the outfit I've heard.Burning

Law Smith (03:47):
Man is not what we think it is. It's not like, I'd
love it. It's not like ahedonist thing. No, I heard it's
like, it's really wellorganized. Honestly, that's what
I've heard. Yeah, my friendMegan Bristol, shout out, uh, to
Tahoe modern, her company onTahoe California, right? Or
Truckee California, I shouldsay, You sure about that? Yeah,

(04:09):
there a year ago, Truckee.Truckee, it's right next to
Tahoe. It's the cool

talk, cari and Vanny.

Law Smith (04:17):
Well, you fly into Reno and you drive over to
Truckee with

the made up city names.

Law Smith (04:24):
Look it up. Bro, no, okay, that's how that ends.
That's how

men figure shit out. Okay, look it
up. Nope, okie dokie, all right,

Law Smith (04:34):
I'm not going to do it either, because then I'm a
pussy, right?

I'm a pussy. I gotta figure out the
right answers.

Law Smith (04:40):
Oh yeah, I'm gonna bring up chat GPT right now.
Yeah? Um, yeah, no, but I thinkwe should go one year. I've
heard, I've heard it's waydifferent than i i thought
growing up. What did

you you thought it was just like
everybody having sex everywhere?Yeah? Okay. I think it's just a
lot more. I. More Hipp thanthat, without the full on. She,
she

Law Smith (05:03):
was like, you'd be surprised they go every year.
And she was like, they you'd besurprised how gritted out it is,
and like, organized and set up.Like, I thought it was just kind
of a more True Detective Carcosasituation.

No, it's like, you know, for a lot
of people, it's very spiritual.And then, like, the idea of the
Burning Man, you know what thatis like at the end, they put
their whatever they want toleave there, and they burn it,
and the man burns. And it's likea turning point for them well.
And then

Law Smith (05:33):
the other thing I heard over the years was it got
too corporate. And apparentlythat's not true either. Like,
it's not like at and t's notlike, come to our burning,
burning man, yeah. Cell center,yeah, charge yourself. Right,
right. I think they try. Allthese companies have tried,
because there's so many peoplethat go, yeah. When I went out

(05:53):
to Lake Tahoe last year, I flewinto Reno, and I had to do a
layover in Austin, and theweirdos from Austin that were
going to Reno to get to BurningMan. It was crazy, right? The
amount of hats on a flight thatwere, like, non, non traditional
kind of hats. It was, like, youknow, a cowboy hat, but it's got

(06:14):
a bunch of feathers all over it,obviously. Or, like, you know, a
chick's gardening hat on a dudethat doesn't look like he ever
gardens, you know, sure, shitlike, what else, safari hat.

I just think of Reno 911, them
going to burning. Man,undercover, yeah, it's

Law Smith (06:29):
right there. Man, yeah, but, um, I've been smoking
dope. Might be good. Might begood to go too. I don't know.
Our friend of the program, Joesale, used to go over here, get
an RV and drive out there, yeah,

seems like a little work. Well, he

Law Smith (06:44):
was a recovering guy, so, you know, that's one of
those deals where I think thereis a lot of people like in
recovery, and they're like, thisis how I can party sober and
still get kind of weird. Yeah,

doesn't seem like the place to go, but
that's their choice, one

Law Smith (07:01):
step at a time. Man,

yeah. Anyways, what's

Law Smith (07:07):
on your mind? I

want to go to burning. Man, okay, we
won't. I have a whole list ofthings

Law Smith (07:12):
you actually were writing down shit beforehand.

It was just, oh, stream of thought.
Middle School basketball team.Wow.

Law Smith (07:21):
Really, starting with a heavy one

season's almost over, one and three down
to seven kids. What

Law Smith (07:30):
are the what's the average score of the game? Down
to seven kids. What'd you startwith?

11?

Law Smith (07:37):
What are you like making them run suicides and
shit?

No. I mean, I make them run, but not
that much. But Middle Schooldisciplinary problems and

Law Smith (07:47):
like anything you can mention without getting fired as
your position. No,

what do you mean? I mean, I just like
middle schoolers being middleschoolers, like nothing, you
know, talking when they're notsupposed to be talking sort of
stuff. What was

Law Smith (08:03):
that shit? Called the atomic sit up, perfect sit up.
The one, the thing where you go,I bet you can't do the perfect
sit up or whatever. And someoneholds your arms down, and you
have to close your eyes. And thetrick is

one of your gay jokes.

Law Smith (08:19):
No, this is a thing. I saw it happen before my eyes
at Jesuit all boys school. It'slike, I forget the name of it
right now, but it's like,perfect. Someone's listening.
That's like, it's this, it's athing. But you go, I bet you
can't do this kind of sit uplike with someone, like holding

(08:39):
your arms back or whatever. Youhave to close your eyes. And
when the the mark gets down todo the perfect setup, they let
they let his they let him go.And there's a dude in front of
him with his ass hanging out,and your nose goes right into
their cheeks. And I'm like, Wholoses on this? The guy that's
doing the sit up. Did

you not hear me say, Is this one of
your gage? Like, what are youabout? Pay attention to me.
Well, there's nothing. I hearit. There's nothing gay about
it. No, I already knew this isgoing to be so

Law Smith (09:07):
gay. What? What's gay about that?

I don't know. The whole idea, the
fact that you're even telling methe story is kind of gay for
being honest. Oh, thank you. Youknow. So back to thinking about
it all the time. Like, what didthat have to do with my
basketball team disciplinary

Law Smith (09:24):
action? Someone could have done it.

I've got a game to think about. Yeah,
what

Law Smith (09:31):
did Are you a pass three times before you shoot?
Coach? What got you doing thePrinceton? What are we doing? I

may try to get them to pay attention
to anything

Law Smith (09:43):
is the biggest frustration when they cluster
altogether. No,

they know to find open space. Okay,
that's true. But I mean, like,Listen, I've got i Well, when we
started, I had like, four orfive kids. I had never played on
a basketball team before. God,right. Like any. Like, formal
there, yeah, they

Law Smith (10:02):
played pickup, though, right?

Yeah, for sure. But like, you know,
freezer happens. They don't knowwhere to stand. Like, like,
that's the sort of things I hadto cover that's tough within
like, 10 days. So, like, that'sbasketball, either, right? Like,
that's traveling. What do youmean? I'm like, it's not. What
do you mean? It's, I'm tellingyou, what

Law Smith (10:22):
do you mean? That's a cool response,

but don't get it twisted. I'm
already scouting for next year.

Law Smith (10:33):
Yeah,

fifth graders. Now they have sixth
graders, but

Law Smith (10:37):
I know you said Middle School, right? We're 678,

but trust me, I will make sure they
got the paperwork in. Are

Law Smith (10:45):
you gonna be the coach? Red, that's like, you see
a kid in the walking through thehallways. You're like,

Unknown (10:49):
Hey, yo, yeah,

Law Smith (10:51):
I do it at PE you're almost six foot. What are you
doing? Why aren't you? Why areyou playing basketball yet?

Like, shoot that, Jay.

Law Smith (10:57):
Are you doing? Like, blue chips? Like, ah, yeah. Nick
Nolte,

yeah, definitely sweating like he
does.

Law Smith (11:05):
Oh, cry me. Yeah, that's my Nick Nolte, that. Oh,
okay,

so, yeah, that's it. Basketball
season's almost over. That'll bea big Wait, yeah, that's uh,
long days, dude. Is the thing.It's like, I'm there to send me
the schedule.

Law Smith (11:22):
And it was like, Oh, cool. Then we can never podcast,
except for right now. I mean,

yeah, but it was like, you know, this
hurricane came through. Like,

Law Smith (11:31):
oh yeah, we're

needed five days in a row. You

Law Smith (11:34):
know what I was thinking the hurricane when we
went on the pod in 2017 I wantto say, Irma, uh huh. And we
went on and we're, I remember ustalking about it and just being
like, you guys are dumb shits.For those that freak out about
getting supplies beforehand,right? You know? And it's like,

(11:57):
fill a cooler of water if you'reworried about water, yeah, what
use your fucking mouth or handif you need to use toilet paper,
you know, Demolition Man style,use some shells.

Is there like a come around on this
story? Or is that it?

Law Smith (12:14):
What was the other? What was the other? Dumb? Have a
generator, right? You got one ofthose?

Yes, you know, like, no matter what
the hurricane situation is, Ican always count on my dad to
make it more stressful than itneeds to be. What

Law Smith (12:28):
happened this time yesterday,

he wanted me to come over and start
the generator the power's stillon. Like, test it. Mike, I'm
trying to do stuffelectronically here, you know,
like, paperwork, whatever. Like,can I when the power goes out?
I'll do it.

Law Smith (12:44):
No, man, you gotta test I gotta. I'm on your dad's
side, honestly. That's a, that'sa old dad move, dude.

We gotta, we gotta test this thing
out. Yeah, but it doesn'tmatter. But

Law Smith (12:53):
it's, it's already too late. What's that's, what's
funny about it? So let's say itdoesn't work. What are you gonna
do? Right? You guys aren't like,

I'm not going to Home Depot, where,
when it's like, the power justwent out. Like, it's, it is what
it is. If it works, it works ifit doesn't, like, so, you know,
like, I'm

Law Smith (13:07):
gonna do that to my boy. I'm gonna have him come
over. We're inexplicably

and the power Okay, so at one point
there was like, a power like,kind of search, like, dimmed
out, and he's texting me, butpower is going out. I'm like,
it's not, like, running out ofgas. It's not getting lower.
It's either on or off. We're outof juice over here, and the
power never went off. And he hadto, like, weird, like, he ruined
the having the power, like hehad to secretly hope the power

(13:33):
went out. You know, his disasterscenario plays through. Well,

Law Smith (13:38):
he wanted you to help. Look for the helpers,

yeah? But there's that. Here we sit.

Law Smith (13:46):
I just saw him right before we started. He's doing
great, yeah,

doing fine, live and kicking. I

Law Smith (13:53):
like that. My parents, uh, barely. I don't
even think, I think I got a textbeforehand

the storm's coming. Well, they're
like, you're you're okay. And Iwas like,

Law Smith (14:02):
I'm in a concrete building. I'm fine. I'm on the
second floor too. I sleptthrough it, yeah? But I'm also
20, okay. I'm on the secondfloor, so technically, 30 feet
above sea level. I wasn'tworried about any of that. No.

I mean, you don't have any

Law Smith (14:19):
like, I'm not.

What are you missing that's on the
ground, yeah. Really, I don'thave a lot of shit. You're
better off with the insuranceclaim maybe. Yeah, if I had
insurance, move your stuff down.

Law Smith (14:31):
Yeah. The last thing I'll say one real, legit point.
I said this during covid, whenthe toilet paper ran out. Your
ghetto, your gas station in thehood, because dumb Whitey
doesn't go there. You meanscared whitey? Yeah? Well, yeah,
they get frightened, and theyfucking take everything off the

(14:55):
shelves, yeah. And it's like, Ifound everything I needed in
hood gas station. Operationsduring the lockdown, during
hurricanes, after hurricanes,all that stuff. So that's that
is my tip.

Tp doesn't have an expiration date.
Yeah,

Law Smith (15:10):
sure, it's two bucks or roll. But whatever you can
get your your Philly half ply,but you get your Tampa nuggets,
and you get your weird maltliquor and optimal

green leafs. Yeah, anyway, anyways,
that's it on the hurricane,

Law Smith (15:29):
I don't I mean, I wrote something about
meteorologist, meteorologistDennis Phillips,

oh yeah,

Law Smith (15:36):
he's the only meteorologist I trust in the

area. Why? Because of the suspenders.
No, no.

Law Smith (15:42):
He's that secure because he's a dentist with 1n
in his name. Oh, like penis.

Yeah, he

Law Smith (15:48):
had to persevere to be where he's at. Be that
successful, right? I wasthinking, and I wrote a bunch of
like, this is why I trust him,because he really had to get
shit together. Yeah? And what Imean, there's gotta his name is,
last name's Phillips, dude,penis, Phillips, penis, Phil
lips. Oh yeah. Penis, Phillips,head screwdriver.

Hey, Dina's, Phil Phillips, my lips.
Hey. Penis, Philip, penis,Denis, genus,

Law Smith (16:17):
shout out. Courtesy Enos,

yeah, running back Yeah. China Carter,

Law Smith (16:25):
that is that. Now

you go, oh. Tim

Law Smith (16:27):
Bianca patuca,

so we're doing Penn State running
backs. Oh, my

Law Smith (16:32):
bad, dumbass, my bad. It's over now. Nicholas,
Singleton, keton Allen,

is this the last 10 years?

Law Smith (16:41):
That's the two current running backs.

Those don't count, yeah, it's a boring
unless they're 90s draft bus.It's not funny. That's true,
that's true.

Law Smith (16:49):
That's that's a real narrow. Give me all the draft
bus of the PID state. CourtneyBrown. That's not a running

back, okay, but he was a draft bus.
Pretty hard.

Law Smith (16:59):
Okay, hey, don't Hey, um, how many, uh, class action
lawsuit things do you get?

Like, emailed to filed against me? Oh,

Law Smith (17:11):
I'm getting more and more of these emailed. There is
a website, and I need to find itthat just shows all the class
action lawsuits of big companieslike

so what you can get $11 at a time.
Uh,

Law Smith (17:25):
I think the most I've ever had was like, 75 bucks.
Maybe 125

right? That,

Law Smith (17:32):
oh no, it's, it's crazy, dude, the class action
lawsuits, it's like, we're gonnasue Google for, for, I got one
for Google workspace. Buddy, whoGoogled anything ever I got one
for Google workspace. They letyour data go, and then it's like
everyone's just kind of looseygoosey with their data. Man,

I just let them have my data.
Well, I got that interesting,

Law Smith (17:56):
yeah, but in it, and I thought I maybe I just get a
lot of these. I thought youmight feel that, but no, there's
a class action lawsuit website Ineed to find for

get more emails. Are these good or
bad emails that you're sayingbecause it seems like you kind
of like it?

Law Smith (18:12):
No, well, I fill them out because if you don't, you
don't get anything, and youstill, you still got fucked on
the deal.

Or use it auto filling for you. At
least, most

Law Smith (18:21):
of them are this. There's a Cash App, one that's
like, You got to fill in toomuch. And they go, nah, I kind
of want to do a campaign fortoca Baca agency. They're like,
a campaign that to make thewebsites for the class action
lawsuits, because they'lloverpay that shit,

right? And then you turn around, Sue,
yeah,

Law Smith (18:43):
yeah, I'd be like, Ooh, I don't know about privacy,
data compliance stuff you said,but I feel like I've gotten more
and more of these over time. AndI didn't know if that was a
shared experience. I guess not.No, what you got out in your
list?

Oh, talk about this book, eminent
domain, blue Elizondo.

Law Smith (19:07):
This guy. Is this the book you told me to get for my
dad? Yeah, would you end upgetting him? I got him some
crime book and Tupac shakursbiography. You

see the Tupac

Law Smith (19:19):
one was a joke, right?

But, I mean, this apparently legit
00, laughs, right? This isdifferent. I thought they knew

Law Smith (19:29):
who Tupac was. It was that we had, we had to get
something on the way to thebeach for his birthday in the
morning. Target's the only placeopen, you know.

Anyways, this guy we you know, he was in
the Pentagon. He ran SpecialAccess Programs and ran down UFO
encounters. The thing about thebook, though, is it's kind of
him self vetting, where he'slike present. Thing on his

(20:00):
experience of working his waythrough

Unknown (20:05):
just $30 book,

so that when he does say there's
this and this and this, youknow, you can know he's legit.
What's crazy? What

Law Smith (20:15):
do you mean? He's self vetting. What does that

mean? No, I mean, like, the the point
of the book is it's not like abook full of like Alien
Encounters. It's a book abouthis time serving at the
Pentagon, the DOD, I guess, Idon't know what he's

Law Smith (20:31):
the former head of the advanced aerospace threat
Identification Program, thePentagon unit that researched
UFOs. A tip is what they callit, now known as unidentified,
anomalous, yeah, uh, phenomenaUAP prior. I don't like that
rebranding, by the way. That's

a second rebranding off of aerial
phenomena, because they startedgoing to the water and they just
did that quick little what

Law Smith (20:56):
is side shift? It seems like it's a way to confuse
people. There

is totally, is it totally is, but
there's, um, there's a new, uh,congressional hearings coming
the next month. Legit,

Law Smith (21:12):
don't ever do anything. They just, they just
what it does, is it? It? Itshines a light on C span.

I mean, this is it. So are you,
I'm a cat attorney, okay, butare you saying it's, no, that's
that's just on the people to notunderstand the magnitude of
what's happening. Like, it'snot, yeah, like, what these guys
are all, they're all gonna bemilitary. And, you know, I don't
know if they're gonna be underoath or not, but like grush went
under oath in front of Congress,you know, just totally to make

(21:45):
it grush make it legit, butthey're gonna really roll it
out. And then once that hearinghappened, then it can be brought
to the President's attention.The president can address it.

Law Smith (21:57):
Kamala Harris. White dudes for Kamala Harris,

whoever that may have seen that? No, but
I'm sure it

Law Smith (22:03):
exists. Oh, it exists. Big time, dude.

Trump's been talking about UFOs too.

Law Smith (22:09):
Yeah, what has he been saying? You know, very fine

people, pilots, you know, gorgeous
people, people, very seriouspeople. They've told me they've
seen him over 1000 miles anhour. Yeah, Trump's not bad.
He's talking like he's bringingit up as secondhand, but, you
know,

Law Smith (22:27):
dude, say what you will about him. But after the
second assassination attempt, heposts, oh, for two on Twitter.

Pretty legendary. That's

Law Smith (22:37):
pretty awesome. Yeah, and he's like, 75 you know,
like, I I saw that was cackling,man that is crazy.

Yeah, that reminded me, because the
second in the

Law Smith (22:51):
second time, the fact that it's so lax, you think
they'd sweep every part of thatgolf course, I guess they did
kind of catch them that way. But

did I send you the triangle over
Tampa?

Law Smith (23:04):
You did? Yeah, and I saw it on a couple different
Instagram feeds. Too. Good oldDorito floating. Cool Ranch.

Yes, this was cool ranch. Doritos
kind of blue, and

Law Smith (23:16):
it's the blue bag. I don't know if you know that.
There we go. I house the wholeparty size of Doritos last
night.

Make it bigger showing we're showing
the video.

Law Smith (23:29):
For those listening,

there's a video. It's downtown Tampa.
Looks like it's looking over Bayshores. A cookie monster on this
video added just to fucking makethings worse for me, no, that's

Law Smith (23:41):
part of it.

Cookie Monster's flying it with his
mind. Yeah.

Law Smith (23:46):
He's like, listen up. There's squeeze. But

it's bizarre. It is weird. Then I saw
one, a daytime version somewhereelse, some. I mean, I've got it
saved.

Law Smith (23:56):
There's a lot of different views of it too. Oh,

here you go. What my

Law Smith (24:01):
boy Trump and

Unknown (24:02):
this, yes, sir. And they were in the Oval Office,
three or four pilots. These arenot people that make up stories.
They said, all I know, sir, isthere was a round object that
was going four times faster thanmy F 22 which is a very fast
plane. And it wasn't a, youknow, it should have been. It
was around, sir. They have seen.I mean, four or five guys, solid

(24:26):
people,

Law Smith (24:27):
great pilots, who's next to him, Jelly Rolls.

I know it wasn't Jelly Roll, but
that's what I was gonna say.Cannot explain

Law Smith (24:33):
that's my go to fag I know, um,

dude, that's funny, because the next
thing on my list you brought upyou 75 years old. I was watching
that show Tulsa King, oh yeah,Sylvester Stallone, 75 and in
the last episode, they had acheesy ass Jelly Roll appearance
where he's like,

Law Smith (24:51):
weird. I'm

gonna go behind the thing and sing for
a minute straight for no reason,like at the like it. I watched
it because. Hurricane. I gotthis, but it is pretty fucking
cheesy. Yeah, I still own allday I was

Law Smith (25:06):
trying to find a show, and I couldn't find
anything. I watched Agatha,

yeah, that was fucking dumb. Well,

Law Smith (25:13):
I love the quote I saw from Auburn Plaza, Aubrey
Plaza, or whatever that was.Like someone said, this is the
gayest show of all time. And shegoes, that's why I did it. I was
like, Okay, I might watch itnow, just because of that quote.

How is that the gayest show of all
time?

Law Smith (25:30):
It's pretty gay dude. It's, it's for fat girls that
love like in high school. It'slike, it's set up for that. Have
you watched it? Yeah, I watchedit. What do you think? I think
it's like. I was like, yeah,man, I

didn't like how she started. I didn't
like her as the detective.

Law Smith (25:49):
Well, that was supposed to be a parody of
mayors Eastwick or

whatever. Well, whatever, I just didn't
like it.

Law Smith (25:55):
I didn't get it at first. And then I heard that
when she said Crick instead ofCreek. And I was like, that's
something,

yeah? I was like, whatever.

Law Smith (26:06):
Yeah, I had to watch Screen Crush YouTube to follow
what's going on because I missedone division. I think I know,
apparently that's prettyimportant. But I don't like her
as a league. I think she's greatas a sidekick. Yeah, she's not
Yeah, like step brothers,

Yep, she's hilarious. I mean, on
Parks and Rec, what's her name?She's hilarious on that too.
Bobby Plaza, no, the chick fromthe Agatha darkness, yeah,
that's a real name that's onParks and Rec not Aubrey Plaza.
The chick who plays AgathaHarkness is, was on Rex also,

(26:46):
she was, like, the political,oh,

Law Smith (26:49):
right, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. Sweet Jill.

Jen Jenner, she's

Law Smith (26:54):
the political advisor, like the PR person,
yes, for Sweden's the Sweden'sguy for, well,

she started man, I forget how she
started out. But

Law Smith (27:05):
hey, while you're looking that up is Joe burrow, a
lesbian. Now

he's definitely getting there looks I
like that

Law Smith (27:13):
guy. And I don't care if he is an old lesbian, but he
sure looks like one now, like hewas wearing, like a halter top,
like vest. He's

gonna have to grow that crust ash out,

Law Smith (27:27):
no, oh yeah, then he'd be real, like white trash
looking. That'll work. That'llthat'll win the bangles from own
three out.

You got that own three? Yeah.

Law Smith (27:42):
And I would talk more shit about Florida State being
known three starting out, but myAuburn Tigers are very good. You
know, I think we're recruitinglike crazy. I have a theory.
Hugh Freeze, really recruiter,which I think is like 70% of
being a college football coachnow is being able to recruit,

(28:03):
yeah, at least. Well, 70 is alot, you know, but I think what
he does and

Barkley, perfect,

Law Smith (28:11):
that was worth it. That was worth the vamp.

I got it kind of right.

Law Smith (28:16):
No, yeah, there was one person listening that was
like, Barkley. Barkley, it

wasn't for them. For me,

Law Smith (28:29):
I think Auburn's head coach. Some people call me cool,
Eric. We're a top threerecruiting and we're not good.
We're a basketball school atthis point. And I

have a theory. You want to hear it?
Not really. Nobody cares aboutdude. That was a

Law Smith (28:41):
rhetorical question. I'm gonna say it anyway. I think
Hugh Freeze, Auburn head coach,is free,

Mr.

Law Smith (28:49):
Freeze, everybody. Freeze is going down

on Arnold Schwarzenegger's Dracula.

Law Smith (28:56):
I think Hugh Freeze is recruiting by going down on
the recruits moms. What do youthink he's got to do something?

He's like it. Yeah,

Law Smith (29:07):
I like it. How is he out recruiting everybody else?
We're not good and we're the COthat cow college. Yeah, that's

probably what's happening. Okay, good,
good. You can, like, type thathave to put it on a blog post.
And

Law Smith (29:22):
I wanted to take my kids to a game this year, and I
was like, we lost a cow. I thinkmaybe next season we'll wait a
season

to Auburn. Yeah, they don't really
ever have to go to Auburn.

Law Smith (29:35):
Oh no, I brainwashed them. I got I got my daughter a
cheerleading outfit, and shefucking loves Auburn again. And
I'm like, Yes, brainwash won'tlast. You know what she wants
for her birthday, a Buccaneerscheerleading outfit. And I was
like, yes, that's okay. That'swhat I'm saying. You have to
brainwash your kids into theteams you like,

yeah, they're just gonna fall into it.
I go, I'll get you a raise hat.I'll get you all the raised gear
you want. If they came in yourown Saints fan, be like, shut
up. I'd be

Law Smith (30:06):
like, Yeah, that's fine. Tell your story. Walk it,
get out of

here. No, no, yeah, I will. When you
are not here, I'll find thatparaphernalia and throw the
garbage can. Yeah, exactly.

Law Smith (30:19):
Burn the house down. My daughter thinks it's funny to
push buttons. My son's asweetheart. My daughter wants to
kind of poke the bear, and she'slike, I like Alabama. And I'm
like, you have to leave. Youhave to leave this way. I

pay her to say that shit. You're

Law Smith (30:33):
not allowed in here if you say roll tide or
something, that's good. Or ifyou tell me your LSU, Cajun
Bayou, bangle. Fuck you'redisowned in this family, I'll
tell you.

Send her a new list of shit to say.

Law Smith (30:49):
What else is on your list? Speaking of lists, Joe
list

talked about Tulsa King and

Law Smith (30:57):
my hand in my pants like Al Bundy the whole time.
Let's say we're really on fire.

You know that they are so rusty, not
doing this for my that's fine.The other thing UFO wise was
that they put out like, Oh, Ithink it was the sheriff's
nationwide got issued like ahandbook on what to do with UFO
Reporting and shit like that,

Law Smith (31:26):
a handbook. Yeah, is it like Readers Digest?

I don't know. I assume they get
handed handbooks all the time,or died or something. You know,
seems like a lot of paper justto why would they waste it?
That's true. It wasn't real. Thegovernment

Law Smith (31:44):
doesn't wait. So, yeah. All right. Dan,

that was just interesting. Um,

Law Smith (31:50):
I forgot to plug dates. November 1 and second,
I'm in uh, Clearwater, doing theSunshine City Comedy Club.

All right, tomorrow, Saturday the
28th my kids will be playinggolf at Carrollwood Country
Club.

Law Smith (32:02):
Why would you put that out there? December 13,
14th, at the St Pete BeachSunshine City comedy

club? Yeah, I was gonna play my
basketball game.

Law Smith (32:16):
Well, those aren't your kids, but they aren't your
kids.

They're all my kids.

Law Smith (32:20):
Do you love them? Oh, do you have to do a post season
party? No, and you give thehustle word to your favorite
guy, because I always got that.

No, that's not what that meant.

Law Smith (32:37):
Most Improved, I bet that's what. No, yeah, most
improved

hustle and most improved because you
sucked the beginning. Oh, Isucked. Yeah, I played

Law Smith (32:45):
hard, right? I'm Bruce Bowen when I play pickup.
Yeah, that's not a compliment bymy friends.

They're like, you, you played in the in
the NBA. They're

Law Smith (32:55):
making a cop, they're making a street level
comparison, that I suck, yeah?Well, no, I really like playing
defense.

I mean, you know, we got a couple
laws on our team also, so that'sokay. I'd

Law Smith (33:12):
say it's a whole squad. Is
there one kid that's good, yeah,and you're like, get him the
ball, but don't make it obvious.Oh, I

make it obvious.

Law Smith (33:25):
Get it to PJ. I mean, PJ needs the ball. You know,
it's,

uh,

Law Smith (33:30):
is he the point guard

kind of and that the deal. I've
shifted never to two guard,because he's a better scorer
than having him bring the ballup. They just trap him, and he
has to get rid of it. So havesomebody else bring the ball,
get it to him so you can, oh,

Law Smith (33:47):
right, smart, yeah, I I don't know this newfangled
basketball where the centerbrings it up. I'm old school.
Point Guard gets the ball,brings it down.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of it either, but
it still happens. Hear mescreaming. It's

Law Smith (34:01):
because they mentioned to a ball handler, are
they just chucking threes likecrazy? No, not too bad. That is
that era over where, like,they're just watching guys shoot
millions of threes. No.

I mean, we got a couple kids that
are allowed to shoot them, andthen all the other ones, like,
they're just, they know not toshoot. I'm like, you were, you
can't shoot. Like, work closerand like, you're be better off.
Like, I don't have time tocuddle these kids. Like, Walter,

Law Smith (34:29):
get it? Walter, you stay in the paint dog. Yeah,
you're bored.

You're not far off, which is hilarious,
you're not far off. Not I don'tjust mean that. I just mean an
old man, old guy. And when weget off and I tell you, you're
gonna laugh at his accent, but Imean, good kid,

Law Smith (34:50):
yeah, one

of our best we're doing

Law Smith (34:52):
it is because you want to help them chilled.

It's fun, though.

Law Smith (34:57):
Any thoughts on, uh, we? How far are we? In 30 now,
you were telling me off air. Youdon't think P Diddy did anything
wrong. What? What do you what doyou mean by that?

Unknown (35:15):
Where do we start?

Law Smith (35:17):
You know, it's funny, illegal to have lube. You know
what's funny? He goes, we gotthat from Costco bulk. And
Costco fired back and said, Wedon't sell that kind of baby
oil. Ever

go down to Brooklyn. That means

Law Smith (35:32):
he's a liar, dude.

Oh, he's definitely a liar.

Law Smith (35:36):
Isn't that the why?

I mean, it's gonna be, you know,
it's weird. It

Law Smith (35:40):
really taints all the music. I never liked that he
did, that he talks over in thebackground. He was DJ Khaled
before DJ Khaled, yeah, right.Take that tape, that tape, that
Lucy,

yeah. You know, there's always
something off about him. Itnever really made sense that he
was like the rich and famous onewho's obviously the least
talented. Oh, anybody, clearly.

Law Smith (36:05):
And he was never, like, he tried to. He was one of
those guys that thinks they'relike yoked and they're not,
yeah, you know, like, he's justlike a dad bod for

40 years, yeah, always kind of
soft.

Law Smith (36:20):
You think Mel was,

I was gonna say, I feel like
there's a lot of gay guys thatare like that too, I

Law Smith (36:26):
know, but they don't. They know their place, like,
physically, you know, maybe,what a psycho dude. But it was
like entrapment, right? Like hewas just doing that kind of
shit. So you have video onpeople,

I'm be honest, I don't know many of
the details at all.

Law Smith (36:43):
Oh, you don't read King magazine, no, or jet?

Unknown (36:48):
No.

Law Smith (36:51):
I don't know any other ones.

You know? I know all who's who's got
a crush on who in fourth period,I know that much.

Law Smith (36:59):
Oh, yeah. Are you finding notes and shit?

No, but I've learned to use that
whether it's oh yeah, I've seenit more than once where a kid, a
boy, that's normally misbehavesis there's a girl in the class
that they like, they kind ofchill out. And do you do it like
a and I'll sit them right nextto each other. Do you see

Law Smith (37:24):
them like deep but you observe like an owl, like
they don't know you you'relooking, but you're looking,

oh, I say, right to their face. Oh,
damn. Or if there's boys andgirls that are kind of like
slap, slap and fighting eachother, I just say No flirting,
immediate separation. These

Law Smith (37:40):
are the real tips of this episode. I mean, I could
apply that to my kids whenthey're around other kids. Yeah?
That'd be hilarious. Be weird ifit was with both of them, with
each other. Hey, kid, stopflirting. Yeah. Ew,

yeah. Time to go. No flirting. Say
West

Law Smith (37:55):
Virginia, yeah. Oh yeah, your family's, Oh dude,
let's go to a night game inMorgan, Morgantown. Okay, I want
to burn a couch with a

bunch of go back to West Virginia.
West Virginia's fun. I

Law Smith (38:11):
liked it. I thought it was pretty when I was up
there. Everything, everythingwas in a blue filter, like that
movie, Blue Mountain. Uh huh.Same with

Brokeback Mountain.

Law Smith (38:22):
No, oh, no. The one about meth in West Virginia with
Jennifer Lawrence, long timeago? Well, I

think I know the two places

Law Smith (38:31):
I've been more that felt like I was in eight mile
blue filter the whole time wasWest Virginia and South Bend,
Indiana.

Interesting. Let's Virginia, I get it. I've
been South Bend.

Law Smith (38:44):
It's not cool. And Notre Dame's the Notre Dame's
the only nice thing there. Andit's not that cool. It's like,
Catholic cool. Like, yeah,Catholic cools. Look

how big our Jesus is. A 10 for

Law Smith (38:56):
Catholic cool is like a six for normal people.

Yeah. I mean, it's

Law Smith (39:03):
dude, this church. Look at the architecture. You're
like, okay, yeah, it's oncampus. I don't care

where do you see how long our mass is,
right?

Law Smith (39:14):
Ever been to a Catholic wedding? Yeah? It
sucks.

We doubled down.

Law Smith (39:19):
You have to kneel a bunch. Yeah, as a participant,
they got a kneel in front ofy'all. They gotta burn some
candles, blah, blah, blah,frankincense, myrrh. Listen

to the breeze. Talk about love.
We've never supposedly been witha woman, you

Law Smith (39:35):
know that, and I've been in arguments with my
Catholic friends forever. That'sa self imposed rule they can't
marry. You know, wild, that isafter getting those allegations
little

sus, they're like, hey, you

Law Smith (39:49):
know, about 20% of all our priests, they're getting
accused of some kind ofmolestation. No, no. Keep this
rule we made up 400 years ago,or 300 years. Going or something
that's so that blows my mind.Yeah,

it's, it's so bizarre. It's not in the
Bible. No, all the priests gotto be they're married to God
that I don't look like, why isit God's like, I don't, I don't
imagine that I

Law Smith (40:15):
would blow. I found a loophole to, like, mess with the
priest. When I went to highschool, I was like, Why do I
have to Mary, to pray to God?And they're like,

what she routes his calls that way? I
was like, Yeah, as a

Law Smith (40:27):
secretary, dude, what's going on here? Yeah. And
they'd be like, Oh, you

pray to a saint. I'm

Law Smith (40:33):
like, that's the question that,

can I just bypass in and go straight
to the man at the top dude, I

Law Smith (40:38):
did a confessional once, and I was like, why would
I ever do this? I'm just givingsecrets to this fucking weird
guy that you can just hold overme, like the mafia, like P
Diddy. We can see each other.The like, the

filter was, like, you know who's over
here?

Law Smith (40:54):
Like, Mr. Smith. I'm like, you're not

supposed to say my name out loud,

Law Smith (40:59):
like Padre Chesney. You heard me.

Unknown (41:02):
He's just like, you get to know who I am. He

Law Smith (41:05):
hated my guts. That

guy hated my Well, if you went in
there doing that sort of shit,obviously I fucked with him. And
I

Law Smith (41:10):
had to do a PowerPoint. I put it like a
confederate flag in the cornersof it, just to be like they're
dancing for no reason. I didn'tlike any of that stuff. And he
was like, you'd have to stopyour presentation.

Yes.

Law Smith (41:25):
I was like, Well, this is gay anyway, dude,

Unknown (41:28):
so are you Yeah, so

Law Smith (41:29):
are you stuff now we out. Bye.

Unknown (41:33):
Oh,
boy.

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How To Coach Like Indiana University's Bobby Knight | Ep 470

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How To Coach Like Indiana University's Bobby Knight | Ep 470