ROI! Return On Investment? Ritual Of Indulgence? Robust Oral Idol? ROI Podcast™ hosted by Law Smith @LawSmithWorks and Eric Readinger... Here's the episode description fo sho fo sho wrote
Law Smith and Eric Readinger piggyback off the previous episode hitting the back walls about hilarious chaos behind Tampa's 2 Bears 5K race. Law shares his adventures sprinting through Raymond James Stadium in American flag speedos, awkward celebrity run-ins with comedians Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura, and funny mishaps you won't hear anywhere else. Expect wild stories, comedic insights, and candid celebrity gossip—all served with ROI's signature humor. Buckle up comedy fans, this one's a ride. N.O.R.E. Noreaga, Comedian Meat Dave's Dave Williamson, Dean Akers, Jason Kelce, Bo Allen, Former All Pro and former Buccaneer Ryan Jensen, Buccaneer OG Cody Mauch, Buccaneer C Graham Barton, All Pro Buccaneer OT Tristian Wirfs, Barstool's Frank The Tank, Kevin KFC Clancy, John Feitelberg, Mike Calta, Por Osos Vodka, 2 Bears 1 Cave, Spartan Race, Oddsox, Alexis Fawx. Host Law Smith shares an unforgettable encounter with the genuinely gracious Alexis Fawx. Dive into candid, hilarious reflections on dating app mishaps, eyebrow disasters, and navigating today's relationship minefields. Laugh, learn, and improve your emotional intelligence by decoding life's subtle absurdities—only on ROI Podcast®.
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Hosts’ Eric Readinger & Law Smith 🔗s
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Law Smith (00:00):
Let's hear this intro, dude. Okay,
a little volume. Is it whiterappers from the suno AI rap,
Eric Readinger (00:18):
yeah, you guys hired this house.
Law Smith (00:22):
Oh, this guy might be a happy I mean, that's the
blackest voice they'll give
Unknown (00:29):
you for doing it during fourth period. I think it's
pretty good.
Law Smith (00:34):
It's not bad. Yeah, I need, I need to write lyrics.
I've been thinking about it. Idon't know why I haven't tried
to start doing
Eric Readinger (00:42):
these are probably better than what we
would come up with. I didn'tthink about cutting checks.
Law Smith (00:51):
Get your return on investment. Well, that's the
name of the show
Unknown (01:01):
for now, yeah, yeah, this
Law Smith (01:04):
is good. Now, if we can, here's my thing with the
intro, I want to fill collegekind of bring in, you know,
yeah, great. That's why I likethe shot that big. Stayed with
heart.
Eric Readinger (01:20):
Just said we got a copyright No, we just, I was
Law Smith (01:23):
saying, we just need to start it, like, 10 seconds
later, cut the
Eric Readinger (01:27):
pain in the ass. No, we don't want, I don't want
to do somebody else's I want thecomputers to make the music for
us.
Law Smith (01:34):
That's fine. I'm just saying, bring in that like, it
builds up and it's quick, okay?
Eric Readinger (01:41):
I'll tell the computers that's all later for
cool with me, how long?
Unknown (01:48):
14 minutes it'll fade out and see if I did it
correctly, fading it out on its
Law Smith (01:56):
own. I mean, talk over it well if you want some
hookups in the ads department?They'll be in the description of
this episode. Oh,
Eric Readinger (02:05):
yeah. We used to do ads. Yeah, we used to talk
over music all the time. I knowwe used
Law Smith (02:10):
to try to do a one minute, you know, two minute
warning, two minute offensedrill. Yeah, every time. But I
Unknown (02:17):
don't know, remember the lightning round question?
Law Smith (02:20):
I love it. I want we're gonna bring it back. We
start getting some Yes,
Unknown (02:26):
well, it's not like we're not able to get
Law Smith (02:28):
them. I want to get Kathy Wood. You know who that
is, no lives in St Peter's.We're one of the best investors
in the world, and she's rightacross the bay from us. Best
Unknown (02:40):
thing in what wood? Yeah, timber directions,
Law Smith (02:46):
hey, wiener wood. Good start. Good
Unknown (02:54):
start. Good start. Fucking
Law Smith (02:57):
thing sucks. I was doing a bit about dating chicks,
and they're like, are you goingto try to be funny? Like, all
the first off they start a lotof them start off go, I'm
funnier than you. And you'relike,
Unknown (03:09):
What the fuck first of all, you're a woman.
Law Smith (03:13):
Yeah, you're already down a couple points. I mean,
you got to get two scores. Imean, the cockiness is just
ridiculous, which sometimes Ilike, depending on the person.
But when, when they're notfunny, when you just know
they're not
Eric Readinger (03:30):
somebody who says I'm funny, there's an
attitude with it that you cankind of tell them there that's
not going to be funny. Well, I'malways like, I didn't
Law Smith (03:38):
know we're in a competition. Apparently, this
happens to a lot of comics,because I've heard them talk
about it on podcast. When youget on the dating apps, they're
like, I bet I'm funnier thanyou. I'm like, Oh, cool. Nice to
meet you too.
Eric Readinger (03:50):
Yeah? I mean, that's good though. That that,
you know, that gets rid of a lotof the delusion
Law Smith (03:57):
ahead of time, yeah? But by saying, like, I didn't
know we're in competition as,like, a very smarmy comeback,
yeah, it deflates them, and theygot nothing. And I'm like, you
didn't have anything after that.And then it's like, sounds
awesome, no, but that's funny tome, you know? Yeah, but I was
(04:17):
doing a big
Unknown (04:18):
know what you're talking about. Do
Law Smith (04:20):
you truly be funny all the time? And I'm like, I
think I'm pretty boring day today, honestly, like on the mics,
different than it's a littleheightened kind of conversation
in here, or, you know, on stage.But I'm like,
Unknown (04:34):
I don't know. I'm always trying. There's an
opening. I'm going for it,
Law Smith (04:38):
sure, but it's a calorie burner too. So it's
like, you know, if it's effort,and sometimes you're just dad,
tired,
Unknown (04:48):
man, yeah, I get that. It's like, your
Law Smith (04:51):
dad knows, wheeze in the mic.
Eric Readinger (04:53):
I'm not doing it. I've been paying attention
all the audio, holding mybreath.
Law Smith (04:57):
So mad. But I was like. Exhausting. Do you think
when we're making sweetrelations, I'm gonna whisper
into your ear, I'm like, I don'tknow if it's the little Kim or
it's you one or it's just I'mabout to squirt, which is that
Unknown (05:19):
what you're saying to me makes me want to fight you.
Law Smith (05:21):
A little squirting, plus sharding. You think I'm
gonna run bits by you whilewe're naked? I don't think so.
That's all that's that's thegist of it. Why would she think
that? Where'd that go from I wassaying, like, women, the second
question or second statement Iget is, like, you should be
funny. Like, all the time.
Unknown (05:41):
Oh, you're saying, okay, yeah, not enough
Law Smith (05:51):
daffodils. Girl. Like, do you think I'm gonna try
to
Eric Readinger (05:54):
be kooky? You gotta punch that one up. I don't
even know what that means. It
Law Smith (05:58):
doesn't, it's, doesn't mean anything. That's
what I'm saying. Oh so out ofbounds and not funny. Oh, that
bombing while trying to hook upwith a woman would be
horrendous. Yeah, I'm trying.I'm playing. I'm playing not to
lose
Eric Readinger (06:12):
at that point. Yeah, four corners offense,
yeah, I'm doing
Law Smith (06:15):
proven defense. I'm trying to, like, I got, I got
dime package in, yeah, sure,it's all there's too hot. I got
seven DBS on the field. I'mtrying not to fuck it up. Yeah,
Eric Readinger (06:30):
cool. So, so what were we talking about? Um,
did you have something I
Law Smith (06:37):
am in St Pete beach this weekend. If anybody listens
to this as it comes out. No,that wasn't it. It was May 16,
17 st, Pete Beach, Sunshine CityComedy Club, one show, Friday,
two shows. Saturday, your boysheadlining, and then at the end
of the month in May, I'm inClearwater, Clearwater Comedy
(06:58):
Club. I'm supposed to do a settonight that I forgot about.
Fuck You sure about that? As werecord this on Thursday, May 15,
wait, you forgot. I forgot. Iwas asked to be on the show. And
then I was like, maybe if we dothe pie, I can just go from
doing this over, go home for twohours and then, and then go
(07:20):
drive over 45 minutes.
Eric Readinger (07:22):
Oh, okay, but you forgot you were doing that.
That was the plan from earlier.Yeah, the
Law Smith (07:28):
program gender gray asked me to be on this show
tonight and then, but I amheadlining there at the end of
May clear water, where yourairbrush T shirts are. That area
of clear water,
Unknown (07:40):
great T shirts there, man, Memorial
Law Smith (07:43):
Day weekend, which should be fun down that way.
Yeah? That's, that's myaudience. Yeah? Is like the
cheap towel, yeah, store people,
Eric Readinger (07:52):
you could be like, the mask off for clear
water beach. Look, I just needsome kind of look like you
belong on an air bros t shirt.I'll give you that at this
point, I'll take any niche I canget clear water. Man, the gays
don't. They're not having it.They're not. They don't want any
party. I look, I love the gays.Leave them alone. No
Law Smith (08:11):
double income, no kids. They show up for stuff I
Eric Readinger (08:14):
know, but not, not for you, though, yeah. But
I, I was like,
Law Smith (08:18):
maybe it can be an angle of like they think they
can turn me,
Eric Readinger (08:23):
oh, you're gonna get a lot. Yeah, sure. Okay,
yeah,
Law Smith (08:27):
I'm showing I'm showing these pipes. Wait, you
already did that,
Unknown (08:29):
and it's not working
Law Smith (08:31):
well. I didn't really give it a real effort, but I
just wanted it to happen. I tryto manifest it, and it didn't
really happen. But
Eric Readinger (08:39):
you like, that's something that you can just
speak into existence and happensimmediately. It felt like you
gotta No, no, no, vision board.
Law Smith (08:46):
Don't know about gay mafia stuff. There's the every
city has gay mafia. They kind ofrun the tape. They're the taste
makers of the town they're in,and they kind of say what goes
what? Yeah, you just see that'sso what? That's such a foreign
idea to you. What you ain't nofruit fly. I
Eric Readinger (09:05):
mean, what? What do you mean? They what they say
goes with what? There's
Law Smith (09:09):
taste make with a group of gays. In any city
there's a gay mafia. You saidthat there's a dawn and he's the
man. He's the biggesttastemaker, not from penises.
Get it, huh? Yeah, why
Eric Readinger (09:24):
don't you call them the Dong? Well, I don't
know that's why
Law Smith (09:27):
we're punching it up. But at any rate, there are,
like, a contingent of gays inevery city that kind of kind of
move the whole group,
Unknown (09:38):
okay? But for what to
Law Smith (09:41):
go do, self events, parties, whip its
Eric Readinger (09:45):
Oh, like the social scene, yeah, yeah. Oh,
that's
Law Smith (09:49):
not that wasn't
Unknown (09:50):
clear. Not really. No,
Law Smith (09:53):
I don't know if I'm unclear or you're you're being
Eric Readinger (09:56):
unclear. I'm just trying to get it broken now
you gotta, you know, raise amic. Mind reader. I mean, what?
What would the gays be tellingme how to do that? That's what
I'm trying to figure out. Gays
Law Smith (10:08):
don't like you as much they like me, though. Gays
love me,
Unknown (10:13):
dude. You sure about that?
Law Smith (10:16):
I just talked to a gay on the drive over here. So
figure that, okay,
Eric Readinger (10:20):
that particular fanciest does like you better.
Yes, he's been on the showbunch. I know that one. Yes,
that one. And he's like, but ingeneral, King
Law Smith (10:30):
fancy gay too. That's, that's a big one. He's
the dunk. Well, he's like, he'dbe like, a bishop on a
chessboard of gays, a gaychessboard. The bishop is the
gayest piece. Yeah? Well, Imean, shaped like a wiener.
They're all dragged too. Theydon't like they don't have the
slit on there, like the normalBishop.
Eric Readinger (10:47):
You'd think the Queen would be the gayest piece,
but it's not. It should
Law Smith (10:52):
be, but it's, it's king. The King's King, still
king man. One thing I forgotfrom last episode, we're talking
about two bears. Oh, go back tothe 5k Well, I messaged this to
you. Okay, not even a wow, noteven a sarcastic Wow. But what I
probably just didn't see it. Igot a I was snuck into the VIP
(11:14):
area the two bears, one, 5k atRaymond James Stadium, two
Sundays ago. Bert, Chrysler, Tomseguro, Jelly Rolls thing, 7500
people were there. I think 6000did the race. And like snuck in
the VIP area was talking topeople. I'm wearing my American
(11:36):
flag shorts and basicallynothing else, looking pretty
cool. Gays like a Republican.You think you can turn kind of
style?
Unknown (11:49):
There's no Republicans dressing like that, sir.
Law Smith (11:52):
I want to get to this. But if you have an
American flag, if you wear anAmerican flag, people think
you're Republican now, which isweird to me, yeah.
Unknown (12:00):
Isn't that funny? Yeah? Um,
Law Smith (12:03):
and if, like, but like, Dems got the, they got the
words like, progressive, right?Yeah? Well, like, if you're, if
you're a Republican, you'reconservative, yeah, that's you.
No one wants to be that. You'retraditional,
Eric Readinger (12:18):
right? And you can only be that one thing so
Law Smith (12:21):
the Dems either or so, right? Dims got progressive
and what's the other big one?Liberal kind of leans over their
way, which, yeah, should kind ofgo both. But anyways, anyways,
Republicans got American flagapparel, yeah, it's me and Kid
Rock Red Hat. Yeah? Well, that,no, that's, that's a that's
(12:43):
different, that's a furthertranche, that's way further,
right. Okay,
Unknown (12:48):
anyways, 5k 5k
Law Smith (12:50):
in the VIP area. This, this 5253, Chick comes up
to me, very, very nice. Has anassistant kind of trailer,
wearing like, a weird, I thoughtit was a porn hub parody hat. It
looked like, you know, when,like, guys have a hat that looks
like someone ran over with acar. I think Corolla has talked
(13:12):
about this a bunch over loveline, like, people that get a
hat that looks like it's beenrun over and it's crinkled and
it just looks like someone got acrane and kind of just dropped
it on their head, and it makesthem look schizophrenic.
Eric Readinger (13:26):
Yeah, okay, you know, that kind of hat. Is this
necessary for the story? Yes.
Law Smith (13:31):
And so this, he's, like, a portly kind of Asian
fellow just kind of trailingher. But she comes up to me and
is like, I really like youroutfit. And I go, Oh, thank you.
It was, like, really nice. She'sreally warm, and has like, those
huge assistant, no, this is achick, okay, has these huge
wraparound Oakleys, like fromthe 90s style. They're mirrored,
(13:52):
so I can't see half her face.That's up there. And she's like,
can I give you a hug? And I waslike, Yeah, I'm dumbfounded,
because she's hot, and I'm like,What's going I'm drunk. I'm
like, am I getting fuckingpunked? What the fuck is going
on? Okay, I messaged you laterafter we did the podcast,
because I was like, Who was thatchick? She was so nice. Alexis
(14:16):
Fox, the porn star. Okay,
Eric Readinger (14:19):
I did see it, and I saw the name, I'm like, I
don't know exactly who that is,but I'm gonna guess it's a porn
star. Yeah, she couldn't havebeen sweet. Even the spelling,
she
Law Smith (14:30):
was so nice. I was like, that's like, the nicest.
Like, oh, they're all deers.They're not, though, like, she
came up it was very, like, itwas, like, very warm.
Eric Readinger (14:41):
It was, I mean, they're not, no, I'm saying
they're all super nice. I don't
Law Smith (14:44):
think they are. I think they're like, they deal
with something, what they do toguys on film. I don't think they
come up to pretty nice. I don'tthink they go up to people like
that. Normally. I don't thinkall of them do it like that. I
think, I mean, sure,
Unknown (14:55):
everybody's different.
Law Smith (14:56):
She was Genteel. I would say, Okay, look. I'm going
to point to the camera, MissFox, if you want to come on the
podcast, anytime you can squirton camera, you don't have to. If
you don't want to, it's up toyou. You can just be a nice lady
like you were. Yeah, ladiesdon't be like they don't like
being called ladies too. That'sthat's another ma'am. It falls
(15:18):
in the ma'am category.
Eric Readinger (15:20):
I found out what did in what context,
Law Smith (15:23):
just trying to refer to a woman as a lady, or saying
like, yes, ma'am to a woman isnot cool. We're
Unknown (15:32):
allowed to say anything anymore, bro, I know man.
Law Smith (15:37):
It's the man one sucks real bad, because you're
just trying to be really polite,like, normal, yes. And I've been
like, don't call me ma'am. I
Unknown (15:45):
do it to everybody. I hear
Law Smith (15:47):
that you're 27 just you're still a woman, right?
Yeah,
Unknown (15:52):
just do, like, a little voice, yes, ma'am.
Law Smith (15:55):
You know, it's nice. Well, so that Asian assistant
trailing her. I was like, Oh,that was a real porn hub ad. I
thought it was a joke.
Unknown (16:03):
Yeah, it actually says Pornhub. Well, I just saw
Law Smith (16:06):
the yellow the yellow block, that's all I remember.
But yeah, it's a corn hub. Yeah.So I just thought that was
interesting. And you gave menothing when I slapped you about
Eric Readinger (16:18):
it, my bad. I mean, also, what was I supposed
to give you? That's pretty cool.Thumbs up.
Law Smith (16:23):
Hey, this is a girl I see naked before. A lot, yeah,
like a lot, like a lot, dude,and comes up, and usually you'd
have to go, I'm a big fan, orsomething like that. To her, Oh,
yeah, I don't know. It's very
Unknown (16:38):
sweet. Big fan of yours pursue that.
Law Smith (16:42):
I don't think so. Why not? I don't think she lives
here. You know, be tough.
Unknown (16:46):
Maybe she'll move here for you, um,
Law Smith (16:49):
I don't know about that. I think
Unknown (16:51):
visitor on set, I think
Law Smith (16:53):
Miami is like, where everything's going on for that
industry now, but not, I don'tknow. I don't think I could, I
don't think I could compete inany which way,
Unknown (17:04):
right? Like, I forgot about that part of it,
Law Smith (17:07):
yeah,
Unknown (17:08):
yeah, that's okay. That's okay. No big deal. I
Law Smith (17:10):
don't think effort matters as much, right? I was
like, Hey, I'm not a grower or ashower.
Unknown (17:18):
You know the effort?
Law Smith (17:22):
Well, what you got going? What's in your
wheelhouse? Summer's here. Yeah,
Eric Readinger (17:28):
and queer just went to friend of the program,
John Paul labadis. Oh
Law Smith (17:35):
yeah, Mazel Tov, to him, I said, my congrats. I
don't think he got back to me,but I don't blame him.
Unknown (17:45):
Yeah, it was
Law Smith (17:46):
a Friday night one, right? Yeah, it's a good time.
That's smart, saves a lot ofmoney. Yeah, I always thought
about, like, when I lived in LA,all about Chinese friends I had.
They were getting, like, aTuesday, yeah, like, after work,
Tuesday at noon. They're like,it's a 10th the cost, pretty
smart, yeah,
Eric Readinger (18:03):
probably have to pay if you don't care, who
cares? Yeah? I mean, you know,Catholic mass been a minute.
Law Smith (18:13):
I've only done one of those before. If I ever have to
go to one of those, I'm gonnaget up and walk out for a while.
Well, they really, especiallywith the new pope, they probably
milked that a little bit.
Eric Readinger (18:25):
Yeah, they chained USA Pope, USA Pope for
like, 30 seconds. That's pretty
Law Smith (18:32):
cool. Yeah, I'm good with that, because I'm a
Republican. It was weird,actually, flag wearing, man,
Eric Readinger (18:38):
I had been in a church in a while, and as we're
sitting there surrounded by abunch of Catholics, that's when
they announced the new pope,standing in a church.
Law Smith (18:47):
You grow up Catholic, oh yeah, and went to Catholic
school. Oh
Unknown (18:51):
yeah, yep, yep, yeah. I was doing church twice a week
for Oh,
Law Smith (18:55):
Catholic Church too. It's not you have to put the
Catholic ahead of that. That isa different ball game. Yeah,
that's an hour at least,
Unknown (19:04):
for sure. And it's also not like
Law Smith (19:06):
there's no cool business casual either. Yeah,
Eric Readinger (19:09):
exactly. Sunday. Best. Sit quietly and it's hot,
right? Don't start laughing.
Law Smith (19:16):
I never understood, like, Why do I have to wear a
coat and tie when it's
Eric Readinger (19:20):
June, right? Doesn't the Lord not give us
yet?
Law Smith (19:24):
I'm going to sweat right through my Oshkosh Bucha
outfit. I don't think
Eric Readinger (19:27):
it says formal as it used to be. Can't be well,
the numbers, nobody would showup. Nobody would show up. I
gotta
Law Smith (19:34):
look this up while you're you're telling me what
happened. What happened? Youknow, I couldn't
Eric Readinger (19:40):
leave those in the front row. But yeah, I was
like, I didn't know we weredoing the math. I found out,
like, the day before, like, arewe? Like, nobody wanted to ask,
because it was rude. We weregoing to do the whole thing. Or,
like, because they. Do that, theJiffy version, where it's like,
(20:02):
just the you do you You'remarried Kiffin, like that side.
Yeah, right. Fast Pass. Oh, whenthey make a meal out of it, it
really bugs me, right? It reallyfeels self, self congratulating.
Law Smith (20:16):
They do the frankincense or myrrh. Which
one's the one that stinky? Youknow they come around the big
light,
Eric Readinger (20:23):
yeah? Frankincense? No, that's
incense. That's what they'rethere. That's what it is. But
Law Smith (20:32):
it's not like, it's not like your weed dealer back
in the day smell. It's like a,it's like a pungent it always I
was like, this has to be what,like a coffin smells like after
a day, see,
Eric Readinger (20:45):
I didn't, I mean, I didn't really remember
the smell being that bad. Andthen just recently, I got
incense to burn the house, and Iwas like, I'm gonna try this
one, the same exact one thatthey burn at church. And I was
like, trying to like it in thehouse. Maybe you're kind of
nice, maybe you're
Law Smith (21:03):
maybe you're a priest. Oh, maybe, maybe you're
gonna make that turn what
Unknown (21:08):
to Jesus to going
Law Smith (21:09):
back to Catholic Church? Man, being a good
Catholic,
Unknown (21:14):
it's a commitment, dude. It's a lot of bet hedging.
Law Smith (21:18):
Almost all of my Catholic friends say they're
Catholic, would never go tochurch, ever, ever.
Unknown (21:25):
I mean, the thing with it is it's it,
Law Smith (21:27):
nor read anything. It repeats every
Eric Readinger (21:30):
three years. Masses just start over, like
they read from the same part ofthe Bible. Two years later, they
just keep doing it. Oh, really,yeah, man, if somebody could
bring anything to the table,but, like, I
Law Smith (21:42):
suppressed all my Jesuit High School Catholic
Stuff. I
Eric Readinger (21:46):
will say, I give the I don't know if he was the
priest given the humbling, buthe did point out he's like, I'm,
you know, here I am giving youmarriage advice from a man who's
never been with a woman orsomething like that. He called
it out. That's the
Law Smith (22:03):
wildest shit, right? You have to go to marriage
counseling before to talk to aguy, yes, who's never been
kissed. Oh,
Eric Readinger (22:10):
and his now wife, she converted to she went
through the whole thing toconvert to Catholic for
Law Smith (22:18):
producer and third Mike, yes, whoa, right? Man,
look, I wouldn't want thatbecause, as our other friend
that used to be a guest on herea bunch, Liz Newman, great
writer, should go women. Everytime you fight with them about
something, they go in the filecabinet, right? They're going to
(22:38):
bring up every thing she's like,I want to do it. I don't do it
because I know it's terrible,but my instinct is to pull up
every file, yeah, when we'rearguing about, you know, how I
drive or something, I know
Eric Readinger (22:53):
sometimes it's like, are they just better at
recalling? Yes, yes, yes, yes,yes. But then it's not always
the right shit. I know it's justlike I got a recall the
instance, and then it's justlike a jumping off point. I
Law Smith (23:05):
got better at this stuff after a while, learning
from my attorney buddies, it'slike, we have to be specific to
what we're talking about rightnow. You can't bring up the past
stuff unless it's really abehavioral thing, but you have
to do the behavioral talk at adifferent time, not when an
incident happens. Let's justtalk about the thing that
happened. Yeah, and be specificon why this makes you mad,
(23:29):
because, like you said earlier,I can't mind read. And when you
said that, I immediately hadPTSD of like me saying this to
every woman I've ever been.Yeah, I'm like, Look, if you ask
me a question, I will tell youexactly how I'm feeling. And
sometimes it throws women offbecause I have thoughts already
pre loaded, because I'm thinkingabout something, right, or I've
(23:51):
thought about this questionbefore I've been asked Yes,
thank you for asking right? Andit's like, if it does throw some
women I've dated off, but like,the other thing is, like, what
that you're like, a pool. Ican't predict your own mind, but
I'm supposed to, right, yeah,it's like, it's bizarre. I'm
(24:12):
supposed to take, like, an FBIinterrogation. I'm supposed to
look at your face and get thatit's not, we're never fighting
about the thing we're talkingabout
Eric Readinger (24:21):
usually, yeah, what is that? I don't know. Man,
Law Smith (24:24):
that I think, and I think about this whole thing,
but I
Eric Readinger (24:27):
don't know if it's just, I don't know if it's
just women, though. Well,they've definitely seen it from
dudes just not being able toidentify why they're upset and
just, oh, tantrums and shit.Like, I've definitely seen guys
do it.
Law Smith (24:40):
But you you can't put us in the same tranche as most
dudes. No, I know
Eric Readinger (24:43):
that's what I'm saying. It's more of a personal,
individual thing. But we're noton. We
Law Smith (24:47):
don't get treated like the specific person. You
get bucketed as a guy.
Eric Readinger (24:52):
I've had, I mean, I've always fantasized
about just flipping this, justif you're the. Crazy one, and
they gotta work off of
Law Smith (25:04):
you, yeah? But you don't know you're crazy. That's
part of being crazy.
Eric Readinger (25:08):
No, I'm saying you become the crazy person. Oh,
my choice, right? Well, I knowit's like, the like I get, the
other person has to be notcrazy. Yeah, can't both be
crazy,
Law Smith (25:18):
yeah? As Robert Kelly says, only one headshot in the
relationship, yeah, which is avery good quote for this. I
mean, like one person has to beeven. And it's, I feel like our
age group. I don't know aboutyour group of dudes you grew up
with, but most of my guy friendsare, are doing the thing of,
(25:38):
like, way too much, way more dadstuff, that 300% more than our
dads did, like, involvement,right? Or the era. But you know,
of our dads still feel like apiece of shit. Yeah? It's still
like, like,
Unknown (25:53):
Yeah, still being like, Oh man,
Law Smith (25:56):
I'm doing the center of Jessica Parker movie thing,
and then getting shit for it,right?
Eric Readinger (26:01):
What the hell are you talking about? We've
talked about this for yourJessica Parker movie, all the
chicks
Law Smith (26:07):
in a certain what generation, our millennial
generation now, this oldergeneration of ladies, they think
they should have a Sarah JessicaParker movie going. They should
be the wife. They should be thededicated mom, the career woman,
have time to work out and have anice house, right? And, like,
(26:27):
they they're in charge of thathouse, and it's like, no, that's
one 1% of 1% of 1%
Eric Readinger (26:33):
of people, right? Like, that's fair, but,
and they're usually loaded, but
Law Smith (26:38):
you get they've had a message fucking thrown at him
their whole life of like youshould be all these things,
Eric Readinger (26:45):
yeah, yeah. Man, we're so fucked, yeah.
Law Smith (26:49):
And then it what happens a lot of the time is
resentment towards no matterwhat the guy's doing, good or
bad, it's gonna go that way.Right? Not yourself. Why would
you look inward. No, that'd beme. Wouldn't be me? Projections
the best way to solve problems.Eric, look, we, we've talked
(27:12):
about this for i We haven'tbought this up in a couple of
years. But man, women got thisrage thing, and I'm like, please
just go for a walk. Justanybody, pretty much, can go for
a walk or something physical,some some workout, something. I
don't care if it's Jazzercise,roller blade, whatever. I don't
care how lame it is.
Eric Readinger (27:32):
Most of the time, that's not possible. And
it's like, Well, this was justgo, go away, and
Law Smith (27:37):
you don't go off. What a walk around your
neighborhood is for your brain.
Unknown (27:42):
Yeah, I do. Me. I do. Yes, I do. I did it this
morning. But you know,
Eric Readinger (27:49):
if they leave, then how who's gonna who's gonna
be arguing about the thing
Law Smith (27:53):
this house is gonna go under if I leave right for 45
minutes? Yeah?
Unknown (27:58):
I mean, how's that work? Yeah? Well, good luck
getting married. John Paul,that's that's
Law Smith (28:06):
what we're trying to say. It's a long way to
congratulations. Another,another gripe I have about women
while I was walking this morningis, what are they doing with
their eyebrows? What are whitechicks doing with eyebrows? Now?
What way look if you got aunibrow? By all means, get that
shit laser, make it one intotwo. Cool. I'm fine. Yeah, you
(28:26):
gotta Anthony Davis, yourArmenian, whatever it is, you
know, get that shit right aboveyour nose, kind of laser. But I
You haven't noticed like, chicksin the last like, 10 years doing
eyebrows. They're like, I thinkthe rule should be, you can only
take hair off. You can't pencilshit on. Oh yeah. You ever seen
the, like, laser tattoo shit,where they fuck it up,
Unknown (28:48):
not where they fuck it up? Oh, buddy, you know that's
Law Smith (28:51):
something you don't want to have a coupon for that
procedure. No, I've seen, like,I've had I see women with, like,
constant, it looks like they'reangry. Dude
Eric Readinger (29:02):
I was so you know, my previous relationship
white before that ended. WhiteChicks are pulling got it
tattooed? Yeah? No, this lookedlike an evil version of herself.
Law Smith (29:14):
It's not that unusual, is what I'm saying.
It's like, it's a lot of whitechicks, right?
Eric Readinger (29:19):
Because it's like, Why are you mad at me all
the time? It's like, I'm not.It's my eyebrows. I saw,
Law Smith (29:23):
I saw one that was like, my bad like, where one
was, like, almost raised up onaccident. So it looked like she
was thinking, like, right,always suspicious emoji. I've
seen it, like, both slashesgoing the same direction, yes.
And it's like, okay, chicks aredoing Botox. You're pulling back
your your bluffs, or whatever.You're pulling it back here at
(29:46):
the at the cheeks, and thenyou're doing this crazy stuff
with the eyebrows.
Eric Readinger (29:52):
Do we talk about that? How it's like when you
Botox, you can't really expressyourself all the way the way you
want to. I yeah, like, thinkabout that. Like, I personally
believe there's emotion that hasto come out one way or another.
Well,
Unknown (30:09):
I know that, yeah, but I mean, like,
Eric Readinger (30:12):
at the very least miscommunication, where
it's like, you made yourselfinto this neutral face so you
can't really be happy, angry,you know, if anything that
requires your forehead,
Law Smith (30:26):
you're done. But like, it does, you have to look
at other people that get theeyebrow thing done and be like,
gotta get that done. I don'tknow it's, it's, it's like a
coin flip, how good it is. Yeah,I mean, but they, I guess you
think you're gonna get, you'regonna get
Unknown (30:44):
it right, right? Oh, man, that like, don't
Law Smith (30:48):
fuck with eyebrows unless you're just, you can only
that's, that was what I thoughtabout on a walk without my phone
today. I was like, you can onlyremove, you can't add anything,
Eric Readinger (30:57):
yeah, but you, you're assuming everybody has
thick eyebrows. You know, noteverybody has real thick
eyebrow. Maybe they want alittle bit of something,
Law Smith (31:05):
something I understand weird. I understand
the want. Don't get me wrong. Iget the I get why they want to
do it. But hey, man, you mightjust not be able to do it. God,
I'll never forget. I'd love abig penis. I'd love one in my
face.
Eric Readinger (31:22):
DJ, one time. I don't even understand how he did
it, but like, was trimming hiseyebrows, nicked them, and then
just ended up shaving them off
Law Smith (31:33):
to make them even.
Eric Readinger (31:35):
Eyebrows take forever to grow back. Oh yeah,
it's crazy. And it was, like,two months later. I'm like,
You're sticking with this look.Now, what are you doing? You
won't notice
Law Smith (31:44):
it. You'll be like, what's wrong with you? I don't
it'll take you a minute a lot ofthe time. Yeah, right. And Botox
is made from botulism toxin,yeah? So that's cool. You didn't
know. I just wanted to I wasdouble checking because I was
like, That can't be right by
Eric Readinger (32:02):
weight, like, one of the most expensive
substances on Earth. Well, I'vebeen the most.
Law Smith (32:06):
I have hyperhidrosis in my hands and feet. They sweat
all the time. Yeah, it's prettycool. Don't wear flip flops a
lot.
Eric Readinger (32:13):
Did I tell you about the bachelor party at all?
Any of that I don't remember?Told me off mics and stuff. Did
I tell you about the fishing onthe roof. Oh, yeah. So much that
other guy about AJ, just Walker.I wasn't even there for but I
just thought it was such a funnyvisual, getting trapped on an
island and he was trying to getoff. You're up in I gotta get
(32:34):
back to greater HillsboroughCounty.
Law Smith (32:36):
You're about an hour north, hour 30 north, of the
Tampa Bay area on the westcoast, where it's not quite
beachy, it's almost asset, yeah,it's more mangroves and, yeah,
efficient. And then a lot ofpeople have these little, cool
cabins on islands. You have toget there by boat, right? It is
a place that no one's reallydocumented in a movie or TV
(32:58):
show. To my I
Eric Readinger (32:59):
mean, I was thinking, like, walking around
this thing, like in the concreteon the ground, it's like, Joe
and Billy Bob, 84 and I waslike, damn, this thing's been
here. Think about back in 84 Oh,yeah, everything went on that
island. Yeah. God only knows,because they thought the place,
they thought one of the houses,was haunted. Oh, I mean, they
said that the door kept openingand stuff and like all this, you
(33:23):
just walked around and there'san area in the back. There's
something weird about thisplace.
Law Smith (33:26):
There's a monkey island over in Crystal River,
yes.
Eric Readinger (33:29):
And that leads me to my idea that I had while I
was oh, monkey
Law Smith (33:33):
man Island. You buried the lead on this. This,
we should have opened with this.We
Eric Readinger (33:36):
just need to get stick, like six of us out on an
island. Just see what happens.We will be allowed women to come
to the island once whenever
Law Smith (33:48):
every guy is famous. That's why Think about it
Eric Readinger (33:51):
like but this is not just like passed away. This
is like Monkey Island wherepeople are driving by. So like,
they could throw a sandwiches,you know, we could throw stuff
back
Law Smith (34:00):
at them. Wait, are we monkeys, or they're monkeys?
Eric Readinger (34:03):
We're monkey man islands. Uh huh. Are you okay,
monkey men?
Law Smith (34:09):
So you want to,
Eric Readinger (34:10):
you just want to be monkey man, don't you under
like, it's, we're on the island,and we're just the monkey men.
And then people drive by like,oh, because monkey man Island,
let's pay our respects. Somenickels. Adam, you
Law Smith (34:21):
get out there first. I'll meet you out there. You
know, I'll bring some. I can'tafford
Unknown (34:25):
to do it alone.
Law Smith (34:26):
Well, you know, get John Paul and his wife. That
ruins
Eric Readinger (34:31):
monkey man Island. Well, he's only allowed
once every whenever. What areyou gonna
Law Smith (34:36):
do? Monkeys? Monkeys, hump stuff. You gotta just bang
coconuts. What's what you'regonna have to have your knees.
We're
Eric Readinger (34:44):
gonna be so occupied by the whole, you know,
presentation of everything that.
Law Smith (34:50):
But you want a competing Monkey Island, there's
already one. Okay, now
Eric Readinger (34:54):
we're talking there's already one out another
monkey man island across theway. It has something to do with
weapon. And swim over and takeover their island. Now we're
talking, okay, 1930s
Law Smith (35:04):
King Kong movie has something to do with that, that
that the one that's there rightnow in Crystal River, Florida,
the guy brought like monkeysover, right from the movie.
Yeah, pretty messed
Unknown (35:15):
up. Actually, these little monkeys can't really
leave.
Law Smith (35:20):
I mean, if they really got their shit together
and stop fucking blaming thegovernment, maybe they
Eric Readinger (35:26):
could go, go up and evolve, make a canoe, taking
so long to make tools and buildsomething to get out of
Law Smith (35:31):
there, they get hooked up. Though they're pretty
they're pretty nice. I'm sayingthere's why
Eric Readinger (35:35):
we're only like 30 women in it and monkey man
Island.
Law Smith (35:39):
I don't want to be a monkey man
Unknown (35:43):
that? Well, I didn't necessarily mean us. Oh, you
Law Smith (35:46):
want to get some like,
Unknown (35:49):
Catch a Predator. College Hunks throwing jokes. We
Law Smith (35:54):
get, we get six guys from Catch a Predator. We tell
them, You got to go to thisisland. Now
Unknown (35:59):
we're talking they show up called Monkey man Island
Law Smith (36:03):
makes her lemonade, right?
Unknown (36:04):
And then they go through the seltzers.
Law Smith (36:07):
Yeah, they all drink their own six pack that came
with because there's, they ain'tgetting it on. There's no
computers out there, right? Wesell block their cellular, you
know, frequency, so sure, sure.That dies after three days. You
know, batteries die on that. Andthen we just, Lord of the Flies
it, we see what happens. Yeah,those guys, I doubt, swim very
(36:29):
well. I don't think pedophilesswim. No, they don't. I don't
know this to be true, but Iwould guess they don't swim very
well, right? I mean,
Eric Readinger (36:37):
that's why, you know, the kids always swim away,
and
Law Smith (36:41):
then, and then it's pedophile,
Unknown (36:45):
yeah, but it's what I'll Oh, pedaff Isle, okay, hey,
some pedophile, and Epstein's
Law Smith (36:57):
got to live on somehow, pedophile. And have you
seen the ditty stuff, by theway, before we close it out, not
really, whoa, buddy. There issome wild, wild stuff on
testified. Oh
Eric Readinger (37:10):
yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have to catch up. I feel
like it's, it's gonna be toomuch. Well,
Law Smith (37:14):
I think they brought one guy in that was, I think his
name's Audi O, D, D, I, and thenyou read, like, what he said in
testimony, I think, and thenit's like, oh, wow, this, this
is incriminating. And then itkeeps going into like,
conspiracy, conspiracy,conspiracy. It gets like,
outside of what this is, like,it's like, macro conspiracy
stuff. It has nothing to do withwhat they're talking about. He
(37:37):
just is, like, yeah, in the FBI,that is the FBI did this, like,
it's like, well, they're askingyou about the lube parties and
you know how entrapment andstuff and get you on camera?
Yeah, they're not talking aboutJFK assassination. Well,
Eric Readinger (37:55):
you know, who knows man did? He could be a
fed. He could be an asset. Isn't
Law Smith (38:02):
he mad he's not getting the attention in prison
because Sam bankman, fried, orone of those, a guy a notable
arrest is in the same cell blockas him. He's getting a lot more
attention. Isn't that funny?He's in prison like me. Hey,
man, I'm the coolest. Yeah,
Unknown (38:20):
Diddy, you're a nerd. Yeah,
Law Smith (38:24):
did all Diddy, all right, well, you know, we should
always close out our episodestalking about talking
Eric Readinger (38:29):
Diddy, baby, you know, d i
Law Smith (38:33):
The D, the D, the Y, it's did Ying, what?
Eric Readinger (38:37):
Oh, boy. You.
Let's hear this intro, dude. Okay,
a little volume. Is it whiterappers from the suno AI rap,
Eric Readinger (00:18):
yeah, you guys hired this house.
Law Smith (00:22):
Oh, this guy might be a happy I mean, that's the
blackest voice they'll give
Unknown (00:29):
you for doing it during fourth period. I think it's
pretty good.
Law Smith (00:34):
It's not bad. Yeah, I need, I need to write lyrics.
I've been thinking about it. Idon't know why I haven't tried
to start doing
Eric Readinger (00:42):
these are probably better than what we
would come up with. I didn'tthink about cutting checks.
Law Smith (00:51):
Get your return on investment. Well, that's the
name of the show
Unknown (01:01):
for now, yeah, yeah, this
Law Smith (01:04):
is good. Now, if we can, here's my thing with the
intro, I want to fill collegekind of bring in, you know,
yeah, great. That's why I likethe shot that big. Stayed with
heart.
Eric Readinger (01:20):
Just said we got a copyright No, we just, I was
Law Smith (01:23):
saying, we just need to start it, like, 10 seconds
later, cut the
Eric Readinger (01:27):
pain in the ass. No, we don't want, I don't want
to do somebody else's I want thecomputers to make the music for
us.
Law Smith (01:34):
That's fine. I'm just saying, bring in that like, it
builds up and it's quick, okay?
Eric Readinger (01:41):
I'll tell the computers that's all later for
cool with me, how long?
Unknown (01:48):
14 minutes it'll fade out and see if I did it
correctly, fading it out on its
Law Smith (01:56):
own. I mean, talk over it well if you want some
hookups in the ads department?They'll be in the description of
this episode. Oh,
Eric Readinger (02:05):
yeah. We used to do ads. Yeah, we used to talk
over music all the time. I knowwe used
Law Smith (02:10):
to try to do a one minute, you know, two minute
warning, two minute offensedrill. Yeah, every time. But I
Unknown (02:17):
don't know, remember the lightning round question?
Law Smith (02:20):
I love it. I want we're gonna bring it back. We
start getting some Yes,
Unknown (02:26):
well, it's not like we're not able to get
Law Smith (02:28):
them. I want to get Kathy Wood. You know who that
is, no lives in St Peter's.We're one of the best investors
in the world, and she's rightacross the bay from us. Best
Unknown (02:40):
thing in what wood? Yeah, timber directions,
Law Smith (02:46):
hey, wiener wood. Good start. Good
Unknown (02:54):
start. Good start. Fucking
Law Smith (02:57):
thing sucks. I was doing a bit about dating chicks,
and they're like, are you goingto try to be funny? Like, all
the first off they start a lotof them start off go, I'm
funnier than you. And you'relike,
Unknown (03:09):
What the fuck first of all, you're a woman.
Law Smith (03:13):
Yeah, you're already down a couple points. I mean,
you got to get two scores. Imean, the cockiness is just
ridiculous, which sometimes Ilike, depending on the person.
But when, when they're notfunny, when you just know
they're not
Eric Readinger (03:30):
somebody who says I'm funny, there's an
attitude with it that you cankind of tell them there that's
not going to be funny. Well, I'malways like, I didn't
Law Smith (03:38):
know we're in a competition. Apparently, this
happens to a lot of comics,because I've heard them talk
about it on podcast. When youget on the dating apps, they're
like, I bet I'm funnier thanyou. I'm like, Oh, cool. Nice to
meet you too.
Eric Readinger (03:50):
Yeah? I mean, that's good though. That that,
you know, that gets rid of a lotof the delusion
Law Smith (03:57):
ahead of time, yeah? But by saying, like, I didn't
know we're in competition as,like, a very smarmy comeback,
yeah, it deflates them, and theygot nothing. And I'm like, you
didn't have anything after that.And then it's like, sounds
awesome, no, but that's funny tome, you know? Yeah, but I was
(04:17):
doing a big
Unknown (04:18):
know what you're talking about. Do
Law Smith (04:20):
you truly be funny all the time? And I'm like, I
think I'm pretty boring day today, honestly, like on the mics,
different than it's a littleheightened kind of conversation
in here, or, you know, on stage.But I'm like,
Unknown (04:34):
I don't know. I'm always trying. There's an
opening. I'm going for it,
Law Smith (04:38):
sure, but it's a calorie burner too. So it's
like, you know, if it's effort,and sometimes you're just dad,
tired,
Unknown (04:48):
man, yeah, I get that. It's like, your
Law Smith (04:51):
dad knows, wheeze in the mic.
Eric Readinger (04:53):
I'm not doing it. I've been paying attention
all the audio, holding mybreath.
Law Smith (04:57):
So mad. But I was like. Exhausting. Do you think
when we're making sweetrelations, I'm gonna whisper
into your ear, I'm like, I don'tknow if it's the little Kim or
it's you one or it's just I'mabout to squirt, which is that
Unknown (05:19):
what you're saying to me makes me want to fight you.
Law Smith (05:21):
A little squirting, plus sharding. You think I'm
gonna run bits by you whilewe're naked? I don't think so.
That's all that's that's thegist of it. Why would she think
that? Where'd that go from I wassaying, like, women, the second
question or second statement Iget is, like, you should be
funny. Like, all the time.
Unknown (05:41):
Oh, you're saying, okay, yeah, not enough
Law Smith (05:51):
daffodils. Girl. Like, do you think I'm gonna try
to
Eric Readinger (05:54):
be kooky? You gotta punch that one up. I don't
even know what that means. It
Law Smith (05:58):
doesn't, it's, doesn't mean anything. That's
what I'm saying. Oh so out ofbounds and not funny. Oh, that
bombing while trying to hook upwith a woman would be
horrendous. Yeah, I'm trying.I'm playing. I'm playing not to
lose
Eric Readinger (06:12):
at that point. Yeah, four corners offense,
yeah, I'm doing
Law Smith (06:15):
proven defense. I'm trying to, like, I got, I got
dime package in, yeah, sure,it's all there's too hot. I got
seven DBS on the field. I'mtrying not to fuck it up. Yeah,
Eric Readinger (06:30):
cool. So, so what were we talking about? Um,
did you have something I
Law Smith (06:37):
am in St Pete beach this weekend. If anybody listens
to this as it comes out. No,that wasn't it. It was May 16,
17 st, Pete Beach, Sunshine CityComedy Club, one show, Friday,
two shows. Saturday, your boysheadlining, and then at the end
of the month in May, I'm inClearwater, Clearwater Comedy
(06:58):
Club. I'm supposed to do a settonight that I forgot about.
Fuck You sure about that? As werecord this on Thursday, May 15,
wait, you forgot. I forgot. Iwas asked to be on the show. And
then I was like, maybe if we dothe pie, I can just go from
doing this over, go home for twohours and then, and then go
(07:20):
drive over 45 minutes.
Eric Readinger (07:22):
Oh, okay, but you forgot you were doing that.
That was the plan from earlier.Yeah, the
Law Smith (07:28):
program gender gray asked me to be on this show
tonight and then, but I amheadlining there at the end of
May clear water, where yourairbrush T shirts are. That area
of clear water,
Unknown (07:40):
great T shirts there, man, Memorial
Law Smith (07:43):
Day weekend, which should be fun down that way.
Yeah? That's, that's myaudience. Yeah? Is like the
cheap towel, yeah, store people,
Eric Readinger (07:52):
you could be like, the mask off for clear
water beach. Look, I just needsome kind of look like you
belong on an air bros t shirt.I'll give you that at this
point, I'll take any niche I canget clear water. Man, the gays
don't. They're not having it.They're not. They don't want any
party. I look, I love the gays.Leave them alone. No
Law Smith (08:11):
double income, no kids. They show up for stuff I
Eric Readinger (08:14):
know, but not, not for you, though, yeah. But
I, I was like,
Law Smith (08:18):
maybe it can be an angle of like they think they
can turn me,
Eric Readinger (08:23):
oh, you're gonna get a lot. Yeah, sure. Okay,
yeah,
Law Smith (08:27):
I'm showing I'm showing these pipes. Wait, you
already did that,
Unknown (08:29):
and it's not working
Law Smith (08:31):
well. I didn't really give it a real effort, but I
just wanted it to happen. I tryto manifest it, and it didn't
really happen. But
Eric Readinger (08:39):
you like, that's something that you can just
speak into existence and happensimmediately. It felt like you
gotta No, no, no, vision board.
Law Smith (08:46):
Don't know about gay mafia stuff. There's the every
city has gay mafia. They kind ofrun the tape. They're the taste
makers of the town they're in,and they kind of say what goes
what? Yeah, you just see that'sso what? That's such a foreign
idea to you. What you ain't nofruit fly. I
Eric Readinger (09:05):
mean, what? What do you mean? They what they say
goes with what? There's
Law Smith (09:09):
taste make with a group of gays. In any city
there's a gay mafia. You saidthat there's a dawn and he's the
man. He's the biggesttastemaker, not from penises.
Get it, huh? Yeah, why
Eric Readinger (09:24):
don't you call them the Dong? Well, I don't
know that's why
Law Smith (09:27):
we're punching it up. But at any rate, there are,
like, a contingent of gays inevery city that kind of kind of
move the whole group,
Unknown (09:38):
okay? But for what to
Law Smith (09:41):
go do, self events, parties, whip its
Eric Readinger (09:45):
Oh, like the social scene, yeah, yeah. Oh,
that's
Law Smith (09:49):
not that wasn't
Unknown (09:50):
clear. Not really. No,
Law Smith (09:53):
I don't know if I'm unclear or you're you're being
Eric Readinger (09:56):
unclear. I'm just trying to get it broken now
you gotta, you know, raise amic. Mind reader. I mean, what?
What would the gays be tellingme how to do that? That's what
I'm trying to figure out. Gays
Law Smith (10:08):
don't like you as much they like me, though. Gays
love me,
Unknown (10:13):
dude. You sure about that?
Law Smith (10:16):
I just talked to a gay on the drive over here. So
figure that, okay,
Eric Readinger (10:20):
that particular fanciest does like you better.
Yes, he's been on the showbunch. I know that one. Yes,
that one. And he's like, but ingeneral, King
Law Smith (10:30):
fancy gay too. That's, that's a big one. He's
the dunk. Well, he's like, he'dbe like, a bishop on a
chessboard of gays, a gaychessboard. The bishop is the
gayest piece. Yeah? Well, Imean, shaped like a wiener.
They're all dragged too. Theydon't like they don't have the
slit on there, like the normalBishop.
Eric Readinger (10:47):
You'd think the Queen would be the gayest piece,
but it's not. It should
Law Smith (10:52):
be, but it's, it's king. The King's King, still
king man. One thing I forgotfrom last episode, we're talking
about two bears. Oh, go back tothe 5k Well, I messaged this to
you. Okay, not even a wow, noteven a sarcastic Wow. But what I
probably just didn't see it. Igot a I was snuck into the VIP
(11:14):
area the two bears, one, 5k atRaymond James Stadium, two
Sundays ago. Bert, Chrysler, Tomseguro, Jelly Rolls thing, 7500
people were there. I think 6000did the race. And like snuck in
the VIP area was talking topeople. I'm wearing my American
(11:36):
flag shorts and basicallynothing else, looking pretty
cool. Gays like a Republican.You think you can turn kind of
style?
Unknown (11:49):
There's no Republicans dressing like that, sir.
Law Smith (11:52):
I want to get to this. But if you have an
American flag, if you wear anAmerican flag, people think
you're Republican now, which isweird to me, yeah.
Unknown (12:00):
Isn't that funny? Yeah? Um,
Law Smith (12:03):
and if, like, but like, Dems got the, they got the
words like, progressive, right?Yeah? Well, like, if you're, if
you're a Republican, you'reconservative, yeah, that's you.
No one wants to be that. You'retraditional,
Eric Readinger (12:18):
right? And you can only be that one thing so
Law Smith (12:21):
the Dems either or so, right? Dims got progressive
and what's the other big one?Liberal kind of leans over their
way, which, yeah, should kind ofgo both. But anyways, anyways,
Republicans got American flagapparel, yeah, it's me and Kid
Rock Red Hat. Yeah? Well, that,no, that's, that's a that's
(12:43):
different, that's a furthertranche, that's way further,
right. Okay,
Unknown (12:48):
anyways, 5k 5k
Law Smith (12:50):
in the VIP area. This, this 5253, Chick comes up
to me, very, very nice. Has anassistant kind of trailer,
wearing like, a weird, I thoughtit was a porn hub parody hat. It
looked like, you know, when,like, guys have a hat that looks
like someone ran over with acar. I think Corolla has talked
(13:12):
about this a bunch over loveline, like, people that get a
hat that looks like it's beenrun over and it's crinkled and
it just looks like someone got acrane and kind of just dropped
it on their head, and it makesthem look schizophrenic.
Eric Readinger (13:26):
Yeah, okay, you know, that kind of hat. Is this
necessary for the story? Yes.
Law Smith (13:31):
And so this, he's, like, a portly kind of Asian
fellow just kind of trailingher. But she comes up to me and
is like, I really like youroutfit. And I go, Oh, thank you.
It was, like, really nice. She'sreally warm, and has like, those
huge assistant, no, this is achick, okay, has these huge
wraparound Oakleys, like fromthe 90s style. They're mirrored,
(13:52):
so I can't see half her face.That's up there. And she's like,
can I give you a hug? And I waslike, Yeah, I'm dumbfounded,
because she's hot, and I'm like,What's going I'm drunk. I'm
like, am I getting fuckingpunked? What the fuck is going
on? Okay, I messaged you laterafter we did the podcast,
because I was like, Who was thatchick? She was so nice. Alexis
(14:16):
Fox, the porn star. Okay,
Eric Readinger (14:19):
I did see it, and I saw the name, I'm like, I
don't know exactly who that is,but I'm gonna guess it's a porn
star. Yeah, she couldn't havebeen sweet. Even the spelling,
she
Law Smith (14:30):
was so nice. I was like, that's like, the nicest.
Like, oh, they're all deers.They're not, though, like, she
came up it was very, like, itwas, like, very warm.
Eric Readinger (14:41):
It was, I mean, they're not, no, I'm saying
they're all super nice. I don't
Law Smith (14:44):
think they are. I think they're like, they deal
with something, what they do toguys on film. I don't think they
come up to pretty nice. I don'tthink they go up to people like
that. Normally. I don't thinkall of them do it like that. I
think, I mean, sure,
Unknown (14:55):
everybody's different.
Law Smith (14:56):
She was Genteel. I would say, Okay, look. I'm going
to point to the camera, MissFox, if you want to come on the
podcast, anytime you can squirton camera, you don't have to. If
you don't want to, it's up toyou. You can just be a nice lady
like you were. Yeah, ladiesdon't be like they don't like
being called ladies too. That'sthat's another ma'am. It falls
(15:18):
in the ma'am category.
Eric Readinger (15:20):
I found out what did in what context,
Law Smith (15:23):
just trying to refer to a woman as a lady, or saying
like, yes, ma'am to a woman isnot cool. We're
Unknown (15:32):
allowed to say anything anymore, bro, I know man.
Law Smith (15:37):
It's the man one sucks real bad, because you're
just trying to be really polite,like, normal, yes. And I've been
like, don't call me ma'am. I
Unknown (15:45):
do it to everybody. I hear
Law Smith (15:47):
that you're 27 just you're still a woman, right?
Yeah,
Unknown (15:52):
just do, like, a little voice, yes, ma'am.
Law Smith (15:55):
You know, it's nice. Well, so that Asian assistant
trailing her. I was like, Oh,that was a real porn hub ad. I
thought it was a joke.
Unknown (16:03):
Yeah, it actually says Pornhub. Well, I just saw
Law Smith (16:06):
the yellow the yellow block, that's all I remember.
But yeah, it's a corn hub. Yeah.So I just thought that was
interesting. And you gave menothing when I slapped you about
Eric Readinger (16:18):
it, my bad. I mean, also, what was I supposed
to give you? That's pretty cool.Thumbs up.
Law Smith (16:23):
Hey, this is a girl I see naked before. A lot, yeah,
like a lot, like a lot, dude,and comes up, and usually you'd
have to go, I'm a big fan, orsomething like that. To her, Oh,
yeah, I don't know. It's very
Unknown (16:38):
sweet. Big fan of yours pursue that.
Law Smith (16:42):
I don't think so. Why not? I don't think she lives
here. You know, be tough.
Unknown (16:46):
Maybe she'll move here for you, um,
Law Smith (16:49):
I don't know about that. I think
Unknown (16:51):
visitor on set, I think
Law Smith (16:53):
Miami is like, where everything's going on for that
industry now, but not, I don'tknow. I don't think I could, I
don't think I could compete inany which way,
Unknown (17:04):
right? Like, I forgot about that part of it,
Law Smith (17:07):
yeah,
Unknown (17:08):
yeah, that's okay. That's okay. No big deal. I
Law Smith (17:10):
don't think effort matters as much, right? I was
like, Hey, I'm not a grower or ashower.
Unknown (17:18):
You know the effort?
Law Smith (17:22):
Well, what you got going? What's in your
wheelhouse? Summer's here. Yeah,
Eric Readinger (17:28):
and queer just went to friend of the program,
John Paul labadis. Oh
Law Smith (17:35):
yeah, Mazel Tov, to him, I said, my congrats. I
don't think he got back to me,but I don't blame him.
Unknown (17:45):
Yeah, it was
Law Smith (17:46):
a Friday night one, right? Yeah, it's a good time.
That's smart, saves a lot ofmoney. Yeah, I always thought
about, like, when I lived in LA,all about Chinese friends I had.
They were getting, like, aTuesday, yeah, like, after work,
Tuesday at noon. They're like,it's a 10th the cost, pretty
smart, yeah,
Eric Readinger (18:03):
probably have to pay if you don't care, who
cares? Yeah? I mean, you know,Catholic mass been a minute.
Law Smith (18:13):
I've only done one of those before. If I ever have to
go to one of those, I'm gonnaget up and walk out for a while.
Well, they really, especiallywith the new pope, they probably
milked that a little bit.
Eric Readinger (18:25):
Yeah, they chained USA Pope, USA Pope for
like, 30 seconds. That's pretty
Law Smith (18:32):
cool. Yeah, I'm good with that, because I'm a
Republican. It was weird,actually, flag wearing, man,
Eric Readinger (18:38):
I had been in a church in a while, and as we're
sitting there surrounded by abunch of Catholics, that's when
they announced the new pope,standing in a church.
Law Smith (18:47):
You grow up Catholic, oh yeah, and went to Catholic
school. Oh
Unknown (18:51):
yeah, yep, yep, yeah. I was doing church twice a week
for Oh,
Law Smith (18:55):
Catholic Church too. It's not you have to put the
Catholic ahead of that. That isa different ball game. Yeah,
that's an hour at least,
Unknown (19:04):
for sure. And it's also not like
Law Smith (19:06):
there's no cool business casual either. Yeah,
Eric Readinger (19:09):
exactly. Sunday. Best. Sit quietly and it's hot,
right? Don't start laughing.
Law Smith (19:16):
I never understood, like, Why do I have to wear a
coat and tie when it's
Eric Readinger (19:20):
June, right? Doesn't the Lord not give us
yet?
Law Smith (19:24):
I'm going to sweat right through my Oshkosh Bucha
outfit. I don't think
Eric Readinger (19:27):
it says formal as it used to be. Can't be well,
the numbers, nobody would showup. Nobody would show up. I
gotta
Law Smith (19:34):
look this up while you're you're telling me what
happened. What happened? Youknow, I couldn't
Eric Readinger (19:40):
leave those in the front row. But yeah, I was
like, I didn't know we weredoing the math. I found out,
like, the day before, like, arewe? Like, nobody wanted to ask,
because it was rude. We weregoing to do the whole thing. Or,
like, because they. Do that, theJiffy version, where it's like,
(20:02):
just the you do you You'remarried Kiffin, like that side.
Yeah, right. Fast Pass. Oh, whenthey make a meal out of it, it
really bugs me, right? It reallyfeels self, self congratulating.
Law Smith (20:16):
They do the frankincense or myrrh. Which
one's the one that stinky? Youknow they come around the big
light,
Eric Readinger (20:23):
yeah? Frankincense? No, that's
incense. That's what they'rethere. That's what it is. But
Law Smith (20:32):
it's not like, it's not like your weed dealer back
in the day smell. It's like a,it's like a pungent it always I
was like, this has to be what,like a coffin smells like after
a day, see,
Eric Readinger (20:45):
I didn't, I mean, I didn't really remember
the smell being that bad. Andthen just recently, I got
incense to burn the house, and Iwas like, I'm gonna try this
one, the same exact one thatthey burn at church. And I was
like, trying to like it in thehouse. Maybe you're kind of
nice, maybe you're
Law Smith (21:03):
maybe you're a priest. Oh, maybe, maybe you're
gonna make that turn what
Unknown (21:08):
to Jesus to going
Law Smith (21:09):
back to Catholic Church? Man, being a good
Catholic,
Unknown (21:14):
it's a commitment, dude. It's a lot of bet hedging.
Law Smith (21:18):
Almost all of my Catholic friends say they're
Catholic, would never go tochurch, ever, ever.
Unknown (21:25):
I mean, the thing with it is it's it,
Law Smith (21:27):
nor read anything. It repeats every
Eric Readinger (21:30):
three years. Masses just start over, like
they read from the same part ofthe Bible. Two years later, they
just keep doing it. Oh, really,yeah, man, if somebody could
bring anything to the table,but, like, I
Law Smith (21:42):
suppressed all my Jesuit High School Catholic
Stuff. I
Eric Readinger (21:46):
will say, I give the I don't know if he was the
priest given the humbling, buthe did point out he's like, I'm,
you know, here I am giving youmarriage advice from a man who's
never been with a woman orsomething like that. He called
it out. That's the
Law Smith (22:03):
wildest shit, right? You have to go to marriage
counseling before to talk to aguy, yes, who's never been
kissed. Oh,
Eric Readinger (22:10):
and his now wife, she converted to she went
through the whole thing toconvert to Catholic for
Law Smith (22:18):
producer and third Mike, yes, whoa, right? Man,
look, I wouldn't want thatbecause, as our other friend
that used to be a guest on herea bunch, Liz Newman, great
writer, should go women. Everytime you fight with them about
something, they go in the filecabinet, right? They're going to
(22:38):
bring up every thing she's like,I want to do it. I don't do it
because I know it's terrible,but my instinct is to pull up
every file, yeah, when we'rearguing about, you know, how I
drive or something, I know
Eric Readinger (22:53):
sometimes it's like, are they just better at
recalling? Yes, yes, yes, yes,yes. But then it's not always
the right shit. I know it's justlike I got a recall the
instance, and then it's justlike a jumping off point. I
Law Smith (23:05):
got better at this stuff after a while, learning
from my attorney buddies, it'slike, we have to be specific to
what we're talking about rightnow. You can't bring up the past
stuff unless it's really abehavioral thing, but you have
to do the behavioral talk at adifferent time, not when an
incident happens. Let's justtalk about the thing that
happened. Yeah, and be specificon why this makes you mad,
(23:29):
because, like you said earlier,I can't mind read. And when you
said that, I immediately hadPTSD of like me saying this to
every woman I've ever been.Yeah, I'm like, Look, if you ask
me a question, I will tell youexactly how I'm feeling. And
sometimes it throws women offbecause I have thoughts already
pre loaded, because I'm thinkingabout something, right, or I've
(23:51):
thought about this questionbefore I've been asked Yes,
thank you for asking right? Andit's like, if it does throw some
women I've dated off, but like,the other thing is, like, what
that you're like, a pool. Ican't predict your own mind, but
I'm supposed to, right, yeah,it's like, it's bizarre. I'm
(24:12):
supposed to take, like, an FBIinterrogation. I'm supposed to
look at your face and get thatit's not, we're never fighting
about the thing we're talkingabout
Eric Readinger (24:21):
usually, yeah, what is that? I don't know. Man,
Law Smith (24:24):
that I think, and I think about this whole thing,
but I
Eric Readinger (24:27):
don't know if it's just, I don't know if it's
just women, though. Well,they've definitely seen it from
dudes just not being able toidentify why they're upset and
just, oh, tantrums and shit.Like, I've definitely seen guys
do it.
Law Smith (24:40):
But you you can't put us in the same tranche as most
dudes. No, I know
Eric Readinger (24:43):
that's what I'm saying. It's more of a personal,
individual thing. But we're noton. We
Law Smith (24:47):
don't get treated like the specific person. You
get bucketed as a guy.
Eric Readinger (24:52):
I've had, I mean, I've always fantasized
about just flipping this, justif you're the. Crazy one, and
they gotta work off of
Law Smith (25:04):
you, yeah? But you don't know you're crazy. That's
part of being crazy.
Eric Readinger (25:08):
No, I'm saying you become the crazy person. Oh,
my choice, right? Well, I knowit's like, the like I get, the
other person has to be notcrazy. Yeah, can't both be
crazy,
Law Smith (25:18):
yeah? As Robert Kelly says, only one headshot in the
relationship, yeah, which is avery good quote for this. I
mean, like one person has to beeven. And it's, I feel like our
age group. I don't know aboutyour group of dudes you grew up
with, but most of my guy friendsare, are doing the thing of,
(25:38):
like, way too much, way more dadstuff, that 300% more than our
dads did, like, involvement,right? Or the era. But you know,
of our dads still feel like apiece of shit. Yeah? It's still
like, like,
Unknown (25:53):
Yeah, still being like, Oh man,
Law Smith (25:56):
I'm doing the center of Jessica Parker movie thing,
and then getting shit for it,right?
Eric Readinger (26:01):
What the hell are you talking about? We've
talked about this for yourJessica Parker movie, all the
chicks
Law Smith (26:07):
in a certain what generation, our millennial
generation now, this oldergeneration of ladies, they think
they should have a Sarah JessicaParker movie going. They should
be the wife. They should be thededicated mom, the career woman,
have time to work out and have anice house, right? And, like,
(26:27):
they they're in charge of thathouse, and it's like, no, that's
one 1% of 1% of 1%
Eric Readinger (26:33):
of people, right? Like, that's fair, but,
and they're usually loaded, but
Law Smith (26:38):
you get they've had a message fucking thrown at him
their whole life of like youshould be all these things,
Eric Readinger (26:45):
yeah, yeah. Man, we're so fucked, yeah.
Law Smith (26:49):
And then it what happens a lot of the time is
resentment towards no matterwhat the guy's doing, good or
bad, it's gonna go that way.Right? Not yourself. Why would
you look inward. No, that'd beme. Wouldn't be me? Projections
the best way to solve problems.Eric, look, we, we've talked
(27:12):
about this for i We haven'tbought this up in a couple of
years. But man, women got thisrage thing, and I'm like, please
just go for a walk. Justanybody, pretty much, can go for
a walk or something physical,some some workout, something. I
don't care if it's Jazzercise,roller blade, whatever. I don't
care how lame it is.
Eric Readinger (27:32):
Most of the time, that's not possible. And
it's like, Well, this was justgo, go away, and
Law Smith (27:37):
you don't go off. What a walk around your
neighborhood is for your brain.
Unknown (27:42):
Yeah, I do. Me. I do. Yes, I do. I did it this
morning. But you know,
Eric Readinger (27:49):
if they leave, then how who's gonna who's gonna
be arguing about the thing
Law Smith (27:53):
this house is gonna go under if I leave right for 45
minutes? Yeah?
Unknown (27:58):
I mean, how's that work? Yeah? Well, good luck
getting married. John Paul,that's that's
Law Smith (28:06):
what we're trying to say. It's a long way to
congratulations. Another,another gripe I have about women
while I was walking this morningis, what are they doing with
their eyebrows? What are whitechicks doing with eyebrows? Now?
What way look if you got aunibrow? By all means, get that
shit laser, make it one intotwo. Cool. I'm fine. Yeah, you
(28:26):
gotta Anthony Davis, yourArmenian, whatever it is, you
know, get that shit right aboveyour nose, kind of laser. But I
You haven't noticed like, chicksin the last like, 10 years doing
eyebrows. They're like, I thinkthe rule should be, you can only
take hair off. You can't pencilshit on. Oh yeah. You ever seen
the, like, laser tattoo shit,where they fuck it up,
Unknown (28:48):
not where they fuck it up? Oh, buddy, you know that's
Law Smith (28:51):
something you don't want to have a coupon for that
procedure. No, I've seen, like,I've had I see women with, like,
constant, it looks like they'reangry. Dude
Eric Readinger (29:02):
I was so you know, my previous relationship
white before that ended. WhiteChicks are pulling got it
tattooed? Yeah? No, this lookedlike an evil version of herself.
Law Smith (29:14):
It's not that unusual, is what I'm saying.
It's like, it's a lot of whitechicks, right?
Eric Readinger (29:19):
Because it's like, Why are you mad at me all
the time? It's like, I'm not.It's my eyebrows. I saw,
Law Smith (29:23):
I saw one that was like, my bad like, where one
was, like, almost raised up onaccident. So it looked like she
was thinking, like, right,always suspicious emoji. I've
seen it, like, both slashesgoing the same direction, yes.
And it's like, okay, chicks aredoing Botox. You're pulling back
your your bluffs, or whatever.You're pulling it back here at
(29:46):
the at the cheeks, and thenyou're doing this crazy stuff
with the eyebrows.
Eric Readinger (29:52):
Do we talk about that? How it's like when you
Botox, you can't really expressyourself all the way the way you
want to. I yeah, like, thinkabout that. Like, I personally
believe there's emotion that hasto come out one way or another.
Well,
Unknown (30:09):
I know that, yeah, but I mean, like,
Eric Readinger (30:12):
at the very least miscommunication, where
it's like, you made yourselfinto this neutral face so you
can't really be happy, angry,you know, if anything that
requires your forehead,
Law Smith (30:26):
you're done. But like, it does, you have to look
at other people that get theeyebrow thing done and be like,
gotta get that done. I don'tknow it's, it's, it's like a
coin flip, how good it is. Yeah,I mean, but they, I guess you
think you're gonna get, you'regonna get
Unknown (30:44):
it right, right? Oh, man, that like, don't
Law Smith (30:48):
fuck with eyebrows unless you're just, you can only
that's, that was what I thoughtabout on a walk without my phone
today. I was like, you can onlyremove, you can't add anything,
Eric Readinger (30:57):
yeah, but you, you're assuming everybody has
thick eyebrows. You know, noteverybody has real thick
eyebrow. Maybe they want alittle bit of something,
Law Smith (31:05):
something I understand weird. I understand
the want. Don't get me wrong. Iget the I get why they want to
do it. But hey, man, you mightjust not be able to do it. God,
I'll never forget. I'd love abig penis. I'd love one in my
face.
Eric Readinger (31:22):
DJ, one time. I don't even understand how he did
it, but like, was trimming hiseyebrows, nicked them, and then
just ended up shaving them off
Law Smith (31:33):
to make them even.
Eric Readinger (31:35):
Eyebrows take forever to grow back. Oh yeah,
it's crazy. And it was, like,two months later. I'm like,
You're sticking with this look.Now, what are you doing? You
won't notice
Law Smith (31:44):
it. You'll be like, what's wrong with you? I don't
it'll take you a minute a lot ofthe time. Yeah, right. And Botox
is made from botulism toxin,yeah? So that's cool. You didn't
know. I just wanted to I wasdouble checking because I was
like, That can't be right by
Eric Readinger (32:02):
weight, like, one of the most expensive
substances on Earth. Well, I'vebeen the most.
Law Smith (32:06):
I have hyperhidrosis in my hands and feet. They sweat
all the time. Yeah, it's prettycool. Don't wear flip flops a
lot.
Eric Readinger (32:13):
Did I tell you about the bachelor party at all?
Any of that I don't remember?Told me off mics and stuff. Did
I tell you about the fishing onthe roof. Oh, yeah. So much that
other guy about AJ, just Walker.I wasn't even there for but I
just thought it was such a funnyvisual, getting trapped on an
island and he was trying to getoff. You're up in I gotta get
(32:34):
back to greater HillsboroughCounty.
Law Smith (32:36):
You're about an hour north, hour 30 north, of the
Tampa Bay area on the westcoast, where it's not quite
beachy, it's almost asset, yeah,it's more mangroves and, yeah,
efficient. And then a lot ofpeople have these little, cool
cabins on islands. You have toget there by boat, right? It is
a place that no one's reallydocumented in a movie or TV
(32:58):
show. To my I
Eric Readinger (32:59):
mean, I was thinking, like, walking around
this thing, like in the concreteon the ground, it's like, Joe
and Billy Bob, 84 and I waslike, damn, this thing's been
here. Think about back in 84 Oh,yeah, everything went on that
island. Yeah. God only knows,because they thought the place,
they thought one of the houses,was haunted. Oh, I mean, they
said that the door kept openingand stuff and like all this, you
(33:23):
just walked around and there'san area in the back. There's
something weird about thisplace.
Law Smith (33:26):
There's a monkey island over in Crystal River,
yes.
Eric Readinger (33:29):
And that leads me to my idea that I had while I
was oh, monkey
Law Smith (33:33):
man Island. You buried the lead on this. This,
we should have opened with this.We
Eric Readinger (33:36):
just need to get stick, like six of us out on an
island. Just see what happens.We will be allowed women to come
to the island once whenever
Law Smith (33:48):
every guy is famous. That's why Think about it
Eric Readinger (33:51):
like but this is not just like passed away. This
is like Monkey Island wherepeople are driving by. So like,
they could throw a sandwiches,you know, we could throw stuff
back
Law Smith (34:00):
at them. Wait, are we monkeys, or they're monkeys?
Eric Readinger (34:03):
We're monkey man islands. Uh huh. Are you okay,
monkey men?
Law Smith (34:09):
So you want to,
Eric Readinger (34:10):
you just want to be monkey man, don't you under
like, it's, we're on the island,and we're just the monkey men.
And then people drive by like,oh, because monkey man Island,
let's pay our respects. Somenickels. Adam, you
Law Smith (34:21):
get out there first. I'll meet you out there. You
know, I'll bring some. I can'tafford
Unknown (34:25):
to do it alone.
Law Smith (34:26):
Well, you know, get John Paul and his wife. That
ruins
Eric Readinger (34:31):
monkey man Island. Well, he's only allowed
once every whenever. What areyou gonna
Law Smith (34:36):
do? Monkeys? Monkeys, hump stuff. You gotta just bang
coconuts. What's what you'regonna have to have your knees.
We're
Eric Readinger (34:44):
gonna be so occupied by the whole, you know,
presentation of everything that.
Law Smith (34:50):
But you want a competing Monkey Island, there's
already one. Okay, now
Eric Readinger (34:54):
we're talking there's already one out another
monkey man island across theway. It has something to do with
weapon. And swim over and takeover their island. Now we're
talking, okay, 1930s
Law Smith (35:04):
King Kong movie has something to do with that, that
that the one that's there rightnow in Crystal River, Florida,
the guy brought like monkeysover, right from the movie.
Yeah, pretty messed
Unknown (35:15):
up. Actually, these little monkeys can't really
leave.
Law Smith (35:20):
I mean, if they really got their shit together
and stop fucking blaming thegovernment, maybe they
Eric Readinger (35:26):
could go, go up and evolve, make a canoe, taking
so long to make tools and buildsomething to get out of
Law Smith (35:31):
there, they get hooked up. Though they're pretty
they're pretty nice. I'm sayingthere's why
Eric Readinger (35:35):
we're only like 30 women in it and monkey man
Island.
Law Smith (35:39):
I don't want to be a monkey man
Unknown (35:43):
that? Well, I didn't necessarily mean us. Oh, you
Law Smith (35:46):
want to get some like,
Unknown (35:49):
Catch a Predator. College Hunks throwing jokes. We
Law Smith (35:54):
get, we get six guys from Catch a Predator. We tell
them, You got to go to thisisland. Now
Unknown (35:59):
we're talking they show up called Monkey man Island
Law Smith (36:03):
makes her lemonade, right?
Unknown (36:04):
And then they go through the seltzers.
Law Smith (36:07):
Yeah, they all drink their own six pack that came
with because there's, they ain'tgetting it on. There's no
computers out there, right? Wesell block their cellular, you
know, frequency, so sure, sure.That dies after three days. You
know, batteries die on that. Andthen we just, Lord of the Flies
it, we see what happens. Yeah,those guys, I doubt, swim very
(36:29):
well. I don't think pedophilesswim. No, they don't. I don't
know this to be true, but Iwould guess they don't swim very
well, right? I mean,
Eric Readinger (36:37):
that's why, you know, the kids always swim away,
and
Law Smith (36:41):
then, and then it's pedophile,
Unknown (36:45):
yeah, but it's what I'll Oh, pedaff Isle, okay, hey,
some pedophile, and Epstein's
Law Smith (36:57):
got to live on somehow, pedophile. And have you
seen the ditty stuff, by theway, before we close it out, not
really, whoa, buddy. There issome wild, wild stuff on
testified. Oh
Eric Readinger (37:10):
yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have to catch up. I feel
like it's, it's gonna be toomuch. Well,
Law Smith (37:14):
I think they brought one guy in that was, I think his
name's Audi O, D, D, I, and thenyou read, like, what he said in
testimony, I think, and thenit's like, oh, wow, this, this
is incriminating. And then itkeeps going into like,
conspiracy, conspiracy,conspiracy. It gets like,
outside of what this is, like,it's like, macro conspiracy
stuff. It has nothing to do withwhat they're talking about. He
(37:37):
just is, like, yeah, in the FBI,that is the FBI did this, like,
it's like, well, they're askingyou about the lube parties and
you know how entrapment andstuff and get you on camera?
Yeah, they're not talking aboutJFK assassination. Well,
Eric Readinger (37:55):
you know, who knows man did? He could be a
fed. He could be an asset. Isn't
Law Smith (38:02):
he mad he's not getting the attention in prison
because Sam bankman, fried, orone of those, a guy a notable
arrest is in the same cell blockas him. He's getting a lot more
attention. Isn't that funny?He's in prison like me. Hey,
man, I'm the coolest. Yeah,
Unknown (38:20):
Diddy, you're a nerd. Yeah,
Law Smith (38:24):
did all Diddy, all right, well, you know, we should
always close out our episodestalking about talking
Eric Readinger (38:29):
Diddy, baby, you know, d i
Law Smith (38:33):
The D, the D, the Y, it's did Ying, what?
Eric Readinger (38:37):
Oh, boy. You.
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