How To Run With 2 Bears Bert Kreischer Tom Segura Jelly Roll | ROI Podcast™ ep. 484 | Law Smith @LawSmithWorks & Eric Readinger - ROI Podcast™ — the #1 Entrepreneurial Business meets Comedy podcast hosted by Law Smith + Eric Readinger

Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:00):
And now
maybe
it's you doing

Law Smith (00:20):
a little ROI. We're rebranded.
Faded out, wow, that was a hardcut, because,

Eric Readinger (00:34):
you know, you just do this at me just now,
yeah. Board on YouTube, okay,hey,

Law Smith (00:41):
hey, I sense a little tension. Are you okay?

Unknown (00:47):
DJ, volume, Master,

Law Smith (00:49):
all those graduate studies programs at strip club,
DJ Academy, and they, they cometo nothing, yep,

Unknown (00:58):
yep, yep, still paying the debt. Uh. Roi,

Law Smith (01:02):
what does it stand for? You got something,
something fun? What?

Oh, I didn't know we're doing that. We can
call it some different everytime running on in Salin on
insulin, yeah,

Law Smith (01:15):
nice. I tried to write some out yesterday. They
were all terrible.

Well, okay, like the name was your idea so, well,

Law Smith (01:23):
I didn't. I know you're not the biggest fan of
it, so I was trying to make itplayful, but I couldn't. My
brain couldn't even think ofsomething like kind of witty to
put together, you know, yeah,well, again, that's on you. Hey,
before I forget may 16, 17th st,Pete Beach, I'm headlining the
Sunshine City Comedy Club.That's safety Beach, may 16,

(01:47):
17th. Out Sunshine City ComedyClub, headlining out. I'm sorry,
but I'm trying. I'm trying mylast I'm trying my bad. You
expect me to believe that you'renot. And then Clearwater Beach
at the end of May Memorialweekend, I'm at the Clearwater
Comedy Club headlining out therefor the weekend. So get your

(02:08):
airbrush t shirt, get your getyour

Unknown (02:12):
goofy get your jean shorts. Jean shorts. Cut them
off high. Get

Law Smith (02:16):
your zinc sunscreen on your nose, and walk on up,
because it's right in the middleof all that fan that, like, that
beach, beach store stuff. Yes,

you are at the beach officially, when you're
there, yeah,

Law Smith (02:31):
like, Panama City's got that covered, like they have
mega stores of those, you know,Daytona,

all the major anything, white trash. That's
what we're looking for.

Law Smith (02:40):
Clear Water. Surprisingly, doesn't have as
many anymore, which I findfunny. Maybe the Scientologists
got in there. Yeah, scientistsdo that. Scientists do do that.

Unknown (02:49):
Can we just talk about your outfit today? What outfit?

Law Smith (02:54):
The lack thereof? Well, why don't you describe it
for the you're wearing

nothing but a diaper that looks like, first
off, American flag. Yes,

Law Smith (03:02):
it's not a diaper. I purposely pulled the pant legs
up a little. You expect me

to believe that? I don't think I was gonna use
that one that much, but it'scoming in handy, dude. I

Law Smith (03:13):
was on the Jolly Roger in Raymond James Stadium
today, the pirate ship, and itwas to myself going, Holy
guacamole,

Unknown (03:22):
holy moly. Yeah,

Law Smith (03:24):
I was just doing that by myself like a weirdo. So I
did the two bears 515 K or twobears, 5k whatever it is. After
the podcast with Burt kreischerand Tom Segura and Jelly Roll
was the other big celebrityinvolved in this whole thing. I
bumped into him on the way out,on accident. Oh yeah, you go

(03:44):
down as I was texting you, Isaid, I'm leaving Ray J right
now. Holy shit. It's Joe. Like,right after that. Like, Oops, my
bad. And there's a whole crowd Ididn't even see around him on
the other side of him. It was,it was bizarre. And so it was
like, Okay, well, I guessthey're they did the celebrity
race way later. Their 5k waylater. Like to wear everybody

(04:09):
down, and it didn't start ontime. That's what I was like,
I'm out of here, dude. And rightbefore that, I ran into Bert,
and he did, like, a double take,because I haven't seen him in a
while, and I'm wearing basicallyyour diaper Gucci shorts. These
are two and a half inch inseam.Inch inseam. It's

really hard to find those. Really hard.

Law Smith (04:31):
You know, I'm an American, and these actually
help me today.

Unknown (04:36):
Oh yeah, I'm sure. So that's what the runners wear. So
I

Law Smith (04:40):
decided to walk over to the stadium for my 9am heat.
I get there like 845 get the bibor whatever, and you walk into
Raymond James Stadium, home ofthe Buccaneers, where I walk in
Holy guacamole, and I'm like, Icouldn't tell if the race
started as soon as I got.Through the gate. Okay, there we

(05:02):
can start. This is really, like,I know, like, Spartan Race, that
brand had something to do withthis 5k but, oh,

you were afraid. You didn't read the email all
the way, and they were like,right, soon as you go in, you
better start running. Right,right.

Law Smith (05:14):
No. Well, there's like, arrows, cone arrows on
cones. I'm supposed to be thefirst wave. I know that I signed
up for the first, earliest,whatever, but there's already
people running. And I'm

Unknown (05:24):
like, What the fuck is going on? Oh, those people
warming up for the 5k No, no.They

Law Smith (05:28):
just did it. They just let them do it ahead before
the first wave. And I was like,

Unknown (05:32):
the fuck. Oh, those don't count. Those times don't
count. So

Law Smith (05:35):
I'm thinking, I'm late, right? I'm late and I'm
scared, and I don't know where Iam, right? I know the stadium
like the back of my hand, but Idon't know where. I mean, I've
gotten to a lot of footballgames there. It's, I know the
ins and outs of Raymond James. Iused to sell monster truck
necklaces, humble brag. Yeah,back in the day, that's the that

(05:56):
was one of the shittiest shopsI've ever had in my life. Well,
sure, that's just dealing withthe worst dude. I'm like 15
selling those, like, Blinkynecklaces with Grave Digger on
it. Yeah, Grave Digger rockingby Derrick. We this is 20, what?
25 years ago, maybe, orwhatever. Yeah, 25 years ago. So
this is, like, going up anddown, selling these things. And

(06:19):
it's like, I know, selling thisat $17 a piece. The guy who's
buying them can't afford thisfor the fam, but he's doing it
anyway. And you want to be like,buddy, I'm no, see, I'm not a
financial

Unknown (06:31):
planner, but you sure about that, buying that, but
this thing,

Law Smith (06:36):
see, this thing costs one cent from China, pre tariff,

Unknown (06:40):
you know, up to two cents, right?

Law Smith (06:42):
And so thanks, Trump. I wanted to be like, Dude, don't
buy these. Please, please don't.And now, if, knowing what I know
now, if I went back, I'd justprobably give them to them. Oh
yeah, because there's no,there's no accountability on
that drive either they're notall cash. Yeah, there's no cards
back in the day that you had toswipe, or any of that. There's
other

15 year olds being like, that's the best job
I ever job I ever had. I fuckingjust stole all the money.

Law Smith (07:05):
Well, I told you my tip for going to games in high
school when I used to get reallyfucked up. And I still do it
now. I sneak in a bottle ofbooze in a in a floppy flask
right in front of my my dickarea, right? Because they, they
don't check the TSA securitydoesn't check it, you know, yes.
And if you have a big thighs andnot packing a lot of heat

(07:25):
downstairs, you got some room inthe trousers, right? You got a
perfect mule. So you get $11bottle of rum in high school.
And then I would go to each eachcorner of the stadium had a
designated driver thing, and ifyou signed up for it, you got a
free coke. So then I get thecoke for free, $11 a day. Real

(07:48):
cheap, cheap move. But yeah,that's pretty good. I still do
it now because they stoppedselling booze in the fourth
quarter. Oh yeah, and that'swhat your excuse is

Unknown (07:59):
going to be next time. But that's such

Law Smith (08:00):
a bummer, especially if it goes to overtime.

Yeah, and then you just getting people getting
real grumpy, and

Law Smith (08:07):
Dude, you're talking a September game out there,
people liquored up, or you'reout on the shade side, it is
fucking remember we went to thatArizona Cardinals game, and it
was like late October, and itwas still frying us, I guess so
do

Unknown (08:22):
we? You don't remember that, like five years ago,
probably, I believe you, I justdon't remember with our friend,
golden shower. Yes, I remembernow, yeah, yes,

Law Smith (08:33):
that is, that's gonna be funny for anybody listening.

Yeah, that I feel like you should explain.
No. Okay. Anyways, last

Law Smith (08:40):
name's golden. Take us back to the 5k so the 5k walk
in and you're kind of like, Ah,shit. You feel like you're late
for a flight. Kind of feelinglike, Ah, shit.

Unknown (08:49):
I gotta. I gotta. I've never been late for a flight.
Though. You ever have your alarm

Law Smith (08:53):
not go off for a flight, you kind of what I can
remember, you have a flight, youplan it out, whatever, an hour
and a half before the flight.We're we live in a city where we
can kind of get to the airportquickly and get through 15
minutes, yeah, but I'm saying,You ever have that thing where
you didn't set your alarm, butyou wake up anyway, because you

(09:14):
have the flight, your body knowsit, you wake up like, like, that
kind of like, yeah, yeah. Andthen you're, you're doing that
thing where you're trying tohurry up and put everything
away, but you're not doing itany faster than if you just
slowed down and did it slowsmooth and smooth as fast that
that that is old man wisdom. Andso I got that feeling right? So

(09:36):
get up there and I'm put, Iputting on my bib while the
first heat's going my heat, andthere's probably 300 people
there next to the pirate ship inthe stadium, and or no, no
opposite side, sorry. And thereally matter, it does the MC
there's a guy in a microphonelike, trying to get people fired

(09:58):
up. And he's like, We needsomeone to. Lead this group out.
And he's like, how about thisCaptain America guy? And I
didn't hear him at first, but,you know, like, then he's like,
Come on, let's get this CaptainAmerica. He's pointing at me, I
don't know, because I'm tryingto get the safety pin with my
sweaty I

Unknown (10:15):
would have looked right past you also not him. I was
like, Oh, me,

Law Smith (10:20):
right. And so he's like, we're gonna get this guy
to lead us all. And then puts meup in the front, in front of
everybody at the starting line,right? And it puts me on Mike.
And I'm like, fuck, I'm not. I'mnot. I'm like, barely awake kind
of thing. I'm hungover, I'mtired, I don't I'm scared,
right?

The outfit doesn't match the actual aura.

Law Smith (10:42):
Well, wait a minute, I'm all American. Okay, leave.
But

I mean the aura of you look like a party animal
rolling in there, like that. Ido. I look like you got the
energy right when you don't.

Law Smith (10:53):
And I brought it so. So he kept trying to, like, be
funny, and I kept like, like,one upping him. I can't remember
everything I said. Buteventually he was like, how are
we going to lead this? And I go,we're going to get a USA chant
going. I was like, I got in afrat mindset. I go, what's the
frattiest thing I can think of?Yeah. And I go, we're going to

(11:13):
get a USA I wanted a game, anAvengers assembled, because he
kept calling me Captain America.But that's a little too specific
from right, from in game, plus Ineed to, I need you as Thor to
go get everybody going. But Igot a USA chant going, and then

(11:33):
we went off, and I sprinted asfast as I could

I was gonna say, yet put a lot of pressure on you
to immediately get passed by the95 year

Law Smith (11:41):
old. The pressure was on, and I booked it. And I go,
all right, I'm gonna, I am gonnaget to the other side of the
stadium, and then I'm gonnastart walking. I'm gonna walk
the river. I'm gonna clear thiscorner exactly I was gonna if
I'm

in your spot, I'm saying, When am I out of
visibility, right? When do theylose line of sight, then I'm
different, man. And I

Law Smith (12:02):
don't care if any of these strangers give me any shit
or anything, but everyone wasawesome, really, like, fired up
as they're you, you go up thefucking big,

oh, they made you go up, up and, oh, that's
kind of rough. It was reallyrough. That's pretty rough,
almost barfed. That's like youcan really train for in Tampa,
at least.

Law Smith (12:23):
What are those called, the big circular
walkways in a stadium? Yeah?Whatever. About eight floors?
Yeah,

they're giant circular walkways

Law Smith (12:31):
and going down rules. You wish you had roller blades
to the fucking zoom Yeah. I wishI had healies for the first time
in my life. I mean,

unless you're, like, going into a parking
garage and running up and downthat you can't really train for
it. So that's remember what

Law Smith (12:49):
I used to live in that building downtown. Yeah, I
would be a psycho and go up anddown the garage. My man thought
that it's pretty psycho, yeah,because no one else was doing
it. It wasn't like, workoutthing in there.

I mean, when you're talking about all the
people being awesome, it's it isa everyone's in a good mood,
two, two beers, one, cave, 5k,so it's like, yeah, the people
who are signing up for this arelike minded. So

Law Smith (13:13):
many Bert and Tom look alike, people, fat guys
with beards, all over like, forthe first hours there is, like,
is that Bert? Is that Tom?Really couldn't tell. Hired a
bunch of doubles. Tom is skinnydude. Tom looks like really good
shape now. So Bert, I love theman, but God damn dude, he's got

(13:36):
that hard gut. Oh yeah, dude. Isaw him from the side, and I was
like, Oh brother, it's all back.Yeah.

I mean, why? Why are you surprised, though?
Because he lost it, like he

Law Smith (13:48):
lost a bunch of weight, and then it's already
back to normal. Yeah, I'll comeback to him, because he was one
of the last people I saw beforeI left. So booked it through was
walk, like had to walk. There'sother guys in tiny shorts, like
high fiving me as we're passingeach other, all right. And it

(14:09):
was cool to go through thestadium. Kind of people who walk
in a designated kind of fun runor whatever, even if it's a 5k
get to the right.

Oh, there's walking in the middle. People at

Law Smith (14:25):
the airport, yeah, yeah, people on sidewalks in
general, yeah, that spread theirwhole people across. There's
four people across taking thewhole sidewalk. You're like, I'm
noxious. You guys walk slow asfuck. Can I now I have to walk
in the grass around you like anasshole, like I'm autistic on
the

Unknown (14:41):
spectrum. Gotta get to my

Law Smith (14:44):
appointment. There's a shit ton of photographers, and
every time I saw one, I'd try toflex as hard as I could. Yeah.
What else I ran in 25 minutes,which was pretty good, a lot
better than what I was trainedat, was like, struggling to get
38 Some days. I mean, lastcouple weeks, by the way,
adrenaline. Remember, I was atmy fast that not long ago, 225,

(15:07):
down to 2050, they're down. Andthat's about six weeks since I
was telling you about that.Okay,

Unknown (15:14):
pretty good. Hey, come on now. Not bad.

Law Smith (15:18):
So I get off. And then, because I led the thing,
now, a lot of people are comingup to me afterward and be like,
what's up, dude, like, yourkids, American guy, oh, this is
cool. This is it felt. It feltlike, very, very, very minor,
like, but everyone, everyone wascoming up to talk to me nice

little thing for you, right? And special for a
day,

Law Smith (15:44):
or people that weren't in our heat, just like,
like the outfit, like what I gotgoing on, like my vibe as the
kids, right? And then, let's seeI'm in. I did about three
different interviews with themedia there that was, like,
sponsored media stuff like manon the street shit. So talk to a
guy that's in a light strike.They're like a Gatorade. Want to

(16:08):
be mixed between Gatorade andliquid IV, I guess. Okay, did
you drop your dad? Well, there'sa guy in a big no no, no, really
no, if I'm on air after my mom.You sure about that. So we did
the we we filmed the speciallast June, and I had an
opportunity to get Tampa BayTimes to write an article about
us, and it was going to be aboutme and my dad. And it was going

(16:31):
to be about, you know, how mygrandpa was a tax collector here
for forever, and like, we'revery Tampa, and we have widely
different kind of paths and allthis stuff, but it was going to
be for Father's Day. You know?It was going to be real nice.
Paul Guzzo, the writer, wasgoing to do it. My mom said no.
And I was like, oh, okay, that'sa big thing. We anything I do

(16:53):
media wise, I need to separatemyself, except for this show,
but I need to separate myself.That's my bad. None up. Your
Dad, no, no, that's fine. Webrought up my dad. It's not a
big deal. I'm saying I just mymom basically put a big kind of
warning of, like, we need toseparate these two worlds a

(17:13):
little bit. Yeah, we don't needto make and she didn't trust
journalists, which I was like, Ibet, yeah. But this guy, he
actually is the only guy localthat in a good, the 15th biggest
circulated paper in the country,that, yeah, I looked it up and
like, Oh, they've won a bunch ofPulitzers and all that shit.
But, but like, he, he's the onlyone who's written an article

(17:37):
about me when it was the TampaTribune, when he was there, that
was actually accurate. Everybodyelse makes up shit for no reason
anyway, so I didn't bring uppops. But this guy's dressed as
a bottle, of course, and I'mfucking now. I'm on. I'm feeling
it. I'm feeling myself. I'mfeeling I'm incredibly feeling

(17:57):
good,

not feeling so stupid being dressed the way you
are. I feel for the bottle guy.First

Law Smith (18:02):
off, I don't know what you're talking about with
what I'm dressed like. This isme. This is all you expect me to
believe that show sunburn. WhenI go to sleep later, I'm on
fumes. Now. I was like, I'mcoming in hot. I got to keep
this adrenaline going, because Iknow once I've really crashed,

yeah, once we hit the stop button, you're
going to take a nap right there.On this hour, I left

Law Smith (18:23):
my place at 8am and I didn't get over here till four,
and basically, like, been goinghard in the paint since then. So
what's it called? Did it thatinterview? Did an interview with
a sock company I think I haveright here. Oh, yeah. Oh. I put
it like a QB towel on my side,socks, odd socks. I had to

(18:45):
answer some questions. Crushthat kind of crowd work. They
are wet. Well, they've been onthe side of my hip.

Unknown (18:52):
That's not exactly well, 2525

Law Smith (18:56):
minute, 5k so do. I did a bunch of interviews like
that, which is fun. Then I walkup and see that, what's the
fucking game at the carnivalwith the ding? You hit it with
the hammer. It has no name. It'slike, test your strength or
whatever. So I do that. My handsare sweaty at all. Smacky game
all the time. Hands are sweatyall the time. Yes, and I'm like,

(19:19):
Hey, I can't this is going toslip out of my I've had golf
clubs slip out of my hands if Idon't have gloves on both hands,
like Mickey Mouse, right, whichis what you want on the golf
course

Unknown (19:29):
to look like carrying around the Stanley Cup

Law Smith (19:30):
to look like the gay, yeah, yeah. Like, it's a Faberge
egg white glove kind of thing.And so I tried it twice, and I'm
like, Look, this is slippingout. I need and some, some
chicks like, here's my shirt.You can use that. And I was
like, You sure? And fucking,Yeah,

Unknown (19:48):
you sure about that? Turn

Law Smith (19:50):
around. Friend of the program, Dean Akers, standing
right there. That's fun. He'sone of the guys that got there
early and got it done before Ieven arrived. What the 5k yeah,
he was one of those guys thatwas like, I was here early and,
you know, I could see him. Theysaid you could just do it. And I
was like, and talk to him for awhile. He's CEO of a facelift

(20:13):
company. He was telling me aboutit. Talked to him for a long
time. He's our business dad. I'mgonna grab breakfast with him.
But all the people I saw today,Dave Williamson, friend of the
program, former guest, Auburngraduate, comedian, Meet Dave,
M, E, A, T. Dave is his becausehe's a master barbecue grill

(20:34):
guy. So he would go on, he wouldopen for bird, and then grill in
the parking lot outside the buswith, like, ribs and stuff. If
you remember, like, six yearsago, he snuck me in the theater,
just a mention of a guy, andhe's emceeing. Went up to him. I
saw him from the back, and Iwent up to him. He's emptying
the whole stadium now, 7500people, and he's in seeing

(20:58):
trying to do his best, but it'sa tough gig. And I didn't think
about it. I just went up to him.I was like, up to him. I was
like, what's up? And then I gavea big War eagle in the
microphone, and I was like, Ohmy bad dude.

Well, I mean, he might have been looking for, he
didn't care for somebody to playoff

Law Smith (21:14):
of. He's cool as fuck. He was trying to get me
into the VIP lounge. Johnny B,friend of the program been on
the show. He's saying thenational anthem. As I was
walking out, I could hear itoutside the stadium.

Unknown (21:26):
Sounds like a weird setup they had

Law Smith (21:29):
so weird. So one beer line, it was Jason Kelsey beer,
called garage beer. They had alight. He was there today. He
was there. I wrote a list of allthe people I saw, because we'll
do this for SEO purposes, forsure, but whatever, I just
thought it'd be fun for us. It'smore anybody outside this area

(21:52):
doesn't care about most of thesepeople, but you and I, for sure.
So much so well. Jason Kelsey,there's former, all Pro, former
Buccaneer, Ryan Jensen, CodyMosh, the current right guard
for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers,current center for the bucks
last year's first round pick,Grant Barton Tristan, worse, or

(22:15):
all pro left tackle, these guys,dude, you forget how big these
guys are. Yeah, they're alltogether talking. And I was
like, right? I was, you know,four feet away from him. I'm
like, Jesus Christ. I feel like,I'm, like, a boy, yeah, like,
yeah, these, and they aren'teven the biggest guys there. And
there's other guys that

were on the Bucks team. They got Vita and
Desmond Watson now, yeah, 464

Law Smith (22:40):
pounder. He's three Tez Johnson's,

you know, that's a cousin of coach I work with,
who Desmond Watson. He's fromPlant City.

Law Smith (22:50):
Does he say his name? Desmond Bucky Irving. I think
was with these guys. He fit. Hewas five, nine guy, pretty joked
black dude. I don't know if hehad tiny dread, so I couldn't
tell if that was him or not. Idon't really know what he looks
like face wise, because, youknow, face masks.

Unknown (23:12):
Oh, thank god you said face mask. Anyways, barstool

Law Smith (23:15):
guys, we had frank the tank. I guess he's the Mets
fan that cries a bunch. I don'tknow the whole bars through
world, but I do know KevinClancy KFC and I talked to John
feidelberg for a few minutes.He's a cool guy. Borrowed my
sunscreen that I took from DaveWilliamson. Mike Alta, here's
the big one, buddy. Here's theone I didn't know I was running

(23:36):
next to Noriega, N O, R, E, 1998you should be freaking out right
now. What's

funny? What was it? Dress up as my favorite 90s
musical artist, and

Law Smith (23:50):
it's gonna be Noriega. Wasn't gonna be Tupac,
but dude, it was so funny. I waslike, I didn't know it was
Noriega until they did a livepodcast and he's on stage with
it looks like, oh shit. Well,the drink Champs is a huge
podcast, and it's pretty good.And I've watched it. They get
people fucked up, all these oldrappers to come in as guests,

(24:11):
and they get drunk on there. Andhe's a good interviewer. And
I've definitely watched hours ofit, and I didn't put it together
any from your mom's house?Studios, you know, no big whoop,
Jelly Roll. Burt kreischer andTom segura. I talked to Lee Ann
Chrysler, and I tried to give acompliment, because I'm a fan of

(24:32):
her as a person, but I didn'tknow how to say it to her, and I
totally diarrhea it out of mymouth. I was like, she's
married. She's

married to Burt Chrysler, bro, yeah, but she's,
she's used to it. She's a champ.She's but exactly that's what
I'm saying. You can say whateverthe fuck. Here's where I felt
bad. Here's where I felt

Law Smith (24:48):
bad, though, because I didn't realize, Oh yeah, she's
gonna be working this wholething. She's ad, she's doing the
admin clerical shit that he'snot doing, right? She's, she's,
I, she's got clipboard in hand.I was just. Kind of delirious
out of it. Didn't really put itall. I was like, Oh man, I
definitely bothered her. Buttalked to Burt's parents that I
kind of know a little bit for awhile, and they were like, I was

(25:12):
on the board of advisors withBurt's mom for a few years,
right? And I was like, Gigi. Andshe was like, I'm the guy from
the Zoom calls. We do. She'slike, Oh my god, yeah, okay, I
remember you.

It was weird that. That's the the connection
you had to make for, well, I

Law Smith (25:32):
reintroduced myself. They know my parents. They they
see him every now and again atthe country club, yes, I mean
whatnot, but they don't know mefrom, you know, they don't
remember me, okay? Plus, like, Ithink about it with my parents,
if any of anybody that knows me,that has met my parents a long
time ago, and then try to sayhi, they'd have to introduce

(25:53):
themselves, right? You know,like my dad, I could

see it like knowing my friends kids that I'm
like, oh, of my best

Law Smith (26:00):
guy friends. My dad probably knows three or four of
them. He could probably listthree or four, you know, right?
He's like the one with the facethe nose, you know him. But so
the day was interesting. Sositting next to the guard rail,
getting drinks from our formerformer employer, one of the
partners at at the place we usedto work. I won't mention their

(26:23):
name, but okay, yeah, two of thethree partners were there, okay,
the one, not the one from theone that's a colts fan, was not
present, but the other two werethe normal one we worked with.
Okay,

Unknown (26:38):
not there.

Law Smith (26:39):
It was not there, okay, but the other two dudes
were, and they're in the VIP,and they're, they're feeding me
Poros vodka drinks while I'mjust kind of standing on the
guardrail. And after a whiledoing that, because I was just
kind of little little delirious.After a while, I was like, I'm
just gonna fucking walk in thisthing. So yeah, why

wouldn't you I dress like that. If you just
walk in with a strut, nobody'sgonna question you.

Law Smith (27:04):
Well, I thought because I didn't have the
wristband you needed to get in,which, by the way, was like $1
store. It wasn't like theyalways are, but this was like, I
could have colored the white onethey gave me with like a
highlighter and been fine,right? If anybody checked, no
one.

I mean, you should have a like a suitcase
for these scenarios where it hasthat doesn't make us gay, it
makes us smart. The all thedifferent color wristbands. Got
your yellow, your orange vest inthere. You got a cone for
parking, yeah, you know, you gota lanyard that's blank, you know

(27:42):
that you can fill in with makingit look like what's on the
lanyards? Yep. And here'sgolden.

Law Smith (27:47):
Had weird conversation. Had weird
conversation with anentrepreneur that's local here,
that is friends. Remember thatguy Andy Signor, yeah? The Nerd
Wars guy, yeah. And he's boyswith him, but in a way that he
was like, he's a lot this guy. Italked to him for a long time.
He was friends with our formerbosses, and talked to him for a

(28:10):
while, and I was like, What areyou like, 50s? Like, I'm 32 god
damn bro. You are. You'reburning it at both ends. But he
this, he what he's gonna come onthe pod. But what he was telling
me was like, Dude, you were way.You were in a fan Teddy zone, of
almost being an AI robot, kindof productivity, of all the

(28:33):
things he told me he's doing100% believe him. I was like, Do
you sleep? I had to stop him andgo, do you sleep? He's like,
not, not really. And I was like,Do you want to work on that?
Because I thought you were

Unknown (28:43):
50, right? Getting a lot of stuff done. But

Law Smith (28:47):
he what's it called? I just thought that was funny,
because I was like, yeah, theyused to film the podcast nerd
wars in our old studio, right?And then when one of us had to
be a producer, I had to tellhim, Hey, bud, if we're gonna do
this, just let's be official atthe time. And he was such a dick
that I told him, Get the fuckout. Yeah, I remember that.

Unknown (29:08):
I remember the heated discussions.

Law Smith (29:10):
Totally forgot about totally Captain America. Could
do that, yeah. I didn't mean tocut

out the mics, but I mean, that's how it was. I
specifically remember me aboutCaptain America and Black Widow.
Well, I

Law Smith (29:21):
specifically remember a conversation where they go,
Well, Scarlet Witch is the mostpowerful of all of them. If you
really think about it, right,God damn, what am I doing? Yeah,
for free, I'd

Unknown (29:31):
be like, I agree with you, but stop talking loud. I'm

Law Smith (29:35):
paying to do this. Essentially, I pay the rent
here, and this is my time atnight that I could do not this,
yes, and I'm doing a favor andthen getting shit for it. It
was, that was a wild time.Anyway, he let us over the days,
he let us hold his MTV MovieAward statue, yeah. So we were,
we were smitten, maybe. But Ithought that was really funny.

(29:58):
Mike called to I think I said.And was there and ran into Bert
right before I left, and he dida double take. Oh, shit. Okay.
And I've you know what? I feltso bad for him, in a way of
like, you know, when you atweddings, the bride and groom
are so tired because they'vebeen talking the whole time.
He's so gracious with his timewith everybody that I don't

(30:21):
think he stopped the whole daykind of thing. And everyone's
trying, especially he's fromhere, so everyone's trying to
get at him old friends and allthat shit. And it was like, Damn
dude. And then when I wastalking to him, he knew that,
though, coming in for Tampa, Iknow, but it's still, it's a lot
dude, especially when it's hot,you know, he's he's shirtless
too.

Unknown (30:41):
You know, he's a guy that's built for that, though,
but

Law Smith (30:43):
everyone's like, it's like a mini paparazzi everywhere
he goes. There's like threepeople chirping bird at him, and
then what's it called? He he wastalking to me, and he was
picking a booger so bad, like anut, like two knuckles deep in
his nose. And He has big fat dadfingers. You know that he was so

(31:03):
in his nostril. I stopped. Hewas telling me something. I I
was just staring at him, pickinghis nose. And I was like, Oh,
I'm sorry, dude, you're you'rereally getting in there. And it
really, like, just verydistracting. It just records
scratched everything for me.Yeah, it was, dude, have you
ever seen a dad, hand, dad,finger, just deep in there,

(31:26):
trying to get in a booger? Imean, not publicly. And he was
like, Oh, he didn't even noticehe was doing,

Unknown (31:33):
I could see that. Yeah. And then just

Law Smith (31:36):
this, this hero, this hero. Woman I met. She has
303,000 CC fake tits. It pullsthem away to take a picture. But
I met her and head of security,who apparently was, you know,
out to lunch the whole day. He'sa big, intimidating guy, and I
were sitting around a pub table.Everyone's kind of eating in the

(31:59):
tent. And I go, Hey, bud, whatmovie makes you cry? And
everyone's like, What the fuck?And I was like, no, no, this is
gonna be a good. This is gonnabe a good. And he started
listing all these movies thatmade him cry. And he's like, the
scariest human being I've evermet my life, right?

Unknown (32:13):
What was? Number one,

Law Smith (32:14):
he said, Godfather first, okay,

Unknown (32:18):
to

Law Smith (32:18):
be fair to him, this is a weird question. It threw
him off, sure, and he's marriednumber two, Godfather two. It
was a lot of war stuff. And thenI was like, oh boy, this is this
Irish guy who's apparently somekind of celebrity or something
notable next to me, wearingjeans in an Irish soccer jersey.

(32:39):
He's like, I asked him all thesewar questions, and about a
couple minutes ago, I go, Fuckthis, stop asking about World
War Two. What other movies makeyou old is

Unknown (32:49):
this guy who the guy I'm talking to, he's asking
about World War Two.

Law Smith (32:54):
Well, he's like, uh, he's easily, like, probably
Special Ops, like, kind oflooks, but huge kind of guy,
right? So they started talkingabout World War Two and how,
like, and what movies are legitabout it. And I'm like, This
guy's, like, our age. What Imean he probably he has more
knowledge than I do. No, nodoubt. But I'm saying, like,
Good for him. But I'm saying,like, can we just agree Saving

(33:17):
Private Ryan the beginning ofthat is pretty brutal, and I
don't need to watch it again.Yeah, exactly. And I'm like
Terms of Endearment beaches.What do you got? I got him to
agree on Interstellar. It was acrazy day, so snuck in and then
waited to get an IV. I wastexting you about that, sitting

(33:38):
there waiting for two people toget their IV done, waiting in
the sun. They're sitting in theshade, getting IV and then being
patient, not being a dick. Idon't want to rock the boat, you
know, I'm a stowaway. And then Iget up to go. Once they get up,
I get up. They're the poor osisdistributors to husband and

(33:58):
wife, couple that are gettingthe IV and talking to them for a
little bit. They get up. Theygo, you can take our seat. When
I was like, Yeah, that's whatI'm doing. I'm just waiting.
This hot chick scoots in, cutsme my anti super powers people
cut me in line without withoutno ever noticing, right? And I
go, Okay, there's another seat.I'll wait for this guy to

(34:20):
finish, and then I'll go overthere. So I he's like, Man, I
saw that. And I was like, he'slike, I would have exploded if
that was you. And I was like,that a big deal. You know, I'm a
pretty chill guy.

Unknown (34:34):
He didn't say anything. I

Law Smith (34:36):
didn't say anything because I'm just like, I'll just
wait for the dude to finish. Noteven, like, whoa. And I just
stood up next to him like aweirdo. I go, I'm just gonna
stand here so no one can get infront of me. Sit down. Once he's
done. He's cool. Sit down. TheIV person's like, oh, that hot
chick over there. She has VIP,she's next. And I was like, God
damn it. Got the last and I justgo, I think that's about time.

(34:59):
I. That's my cue. But it, all inall, is really fun. I don't know
if they'll ever do another one,because it was so like, he's not
this time of year, unorganized.I feel like, well, it wasn't bad
in the morning. It was kind ofcool in the morning, this
morning, but, dude, once it oncethat heat hit the football
field. Dude, it was likeSeptember game out there if

(35:21):
rough, yeah, forgot to put onsunscreen. I'm definitely
fucked. If, if my nose alreadydidn't have skin cancer on it,
probably, definitely now,

Unknown (35:31):
yeah, you look very red. Well,

Law Smith (35:36):
I mean, I had a lot of vodka, had a lot of pre

garage in blossom, going maybe full body
hydration,

Law Smith (35:43):
I chug. PD, light on the drive over here. Okay,
what's new in your world?

You know, I was gonna share some things, but I
think we can save it. That'senough. I

Law Smith (35:55):
mean, that's it was a lot. I just thought, let's go
into full detail like we usedto.

Yeah, I'll tell a real quick story, because we
started talking about youroutfit. Tease it out, yeah, you
know, over Easter Avery, mydaughter, bit of an actress,
right? And

Law Smith (36:15):
in real life, or like, at home, what's the
difference? One is like, you do,you do auditions, you know, you
do rehearsal. The other one'sjust kind of girl stuff,

yes. So we're Yes. Francesca's house, Easter,
your lady, yes. And at somepoint, squeeze, at some point, I
didn't witness any of it, butshe calls me later on, and she's
like, I just had a conversationwith my mom and my brother, who

(36:48):
came to me concerned becauseAvery convinced her brother that
at some point you and I wereofficially gay together. So much
she convinced them that muchthat he went to his mom. So
funny. And I'm like, everybodylaughed about it, yeah, that is

(37:09):
a hahaha. That's impossible,right?

Law Smith (37:12):
That's so funny though, you

know, I was like, I mean, exactly like,
walked in,

Law Smith (37:19):
like, for you, these people, if you can, if you can
take yourself out of it, ifyou're I

was like, that's a pretty good, that's hilarious,
pretty good joke, pretty goodprank. She's

Law Smith (37:29):
funny, dude. I mean, funny in like, a really, like,
yeah, she's kind of legit smartway, right?

I mean, because she did it for the after, like,
she got it for the delayedgratification of it all, yeah?
Like she planted that just tocome back and hear it later on.

Law Smith (37:45):
That's older sister boredom or opportunistic, or
capitalizing on a, you know,something that she could do to
her brother, yes,

except it was her dad in the scenario.

Law Smith (37:56):
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So what? What did you ground
her? No, anyway, grounded eitherkid ever? No,

yeah, I haven't really had to, like, it's not
there, you know, that's notanything to get grounded over. I
was like, you know, don't, don'tdo that. Did you go something
else? But I was like, you know,I'm not even that mad. If you
were that good of an actress.You convinced them fine. I mean,
that's a good I'm gonna have togive her credit. That's what I'm

(38:26):
saying. I'm like,

Law Smith (38:28):
funny. Funny can wash over everything, right? You
know, if it's really too funny,you can't get that mad. You're
not she knows you're not amilitant dad, yeah. So she knows
she can get away with it,

like she knows that it has to be, like, high
level funny, right? But

Law Smith (38:44):
also push to the almost to the brink, pull back,
right? Could have made it worse.Yes, exactly. That's so funny,
dude. And I my daughter, I seeher very much, a lot, like Avery
in some ways, and like, she'salready doing some stuff that at
seven that I'm like, This isgonna be tough later, yeah, that

(39:05):
I'm trying to break her out ofalready, but

you don't have them to hanging out. No, she
adores Avery. I know any oldergirl my right, but we gotta keep
them separated, Yeah, gotta keepthem we didn't even get to talk
about the AI, uh, backgroundthat you had made.

Law Smith (39:24):
Uh, I'll do a better one. But I did, I did this. I
go, I was sitting at an arcadeletting my kids go play while I
was at the bar. And I was like,I need to, there's stuff I need
to do for the show's rebrand.And I was like, what are the
things I'm missing? And I waslike, Oh, the background, we got
to change that. So I just had

hope. You've been watching. I'm sure you've
seen the ones where, for somereason, it turns you into a
female. Was my hair like Gamora,yeah? I mean, I saw them all
straight up female, yeah.Anyways, go back and watch for
fun. No, but

Law Smith (39:57):
I thought it would be kind of silly. And if anybody's
watching. Kind of might be like,What the fuck yeah, I look like
a chicken. Most of them, the AIfilters done. It's video leap is
the editing app. I do the

one thing with the it looks like a Lego house.
That's kind of a opticalillusion type thing. See that
one's kind of an opticalillusion type thing. Yeah.
Sounds like a reflection, yeah?

Law Smith (40:20):
Yeah. I tried to do some I only had like 10 minutes
to do it before my my lady met,met us up at the bar. So, yeah,
went with her wait. Went withher to a ballet, a fundraiser
for the Tampa Bay ballet. And itwas so funny. I go, Yeah, I'll
do that. It's out of my zone.But you know, what's the worst

(40:41):
that can happen this weekend forme was like, remember being
random. I kind of like doingsome of these kind of things,
like today and Friday night wasa black tie event for for the
Tampa Bay ballet. And I go,Yeah, yeah, I'll be your plus
one. That'd be fun. And we juststarted dating. So it'd be like,
This is a fun first couple, youknow, first couple of dates kind

(41:02):
of thing, right? And she's like,you're gonna sit next to a
politician. And when we walkedin, we went in the back area
where everybody is setting up,like all the dancers and stuff,
like the locker room and theTampa Bay History Center, and
there's a politician reading aspeech with jokes on it, and

(41:22):
couldn't help yourself, herfriend wrote it. And I go, why
didn't you let me? Can I helpyou punch it up? And I gave him
notes. Didn't use any of them,but I sat next to this dude, and
I go, you really think you'reyou're a comedian, but you're a
shitty politician. Like, I was,like, he was talking shit to me,
like the whole night, like, kindof whispering it just like, No,

(41:44):
no. In a fun way. It was fun. Itwas like, I go, Dude, you you
just walked into a gunfight witha knife. What are you doing?
Alan, you're fucking You're notfunny at all, and you're not
good at politics. Like, I wouldsay stuff purposely, like, done,
like that constituents hate you.No, I'd be like, you're, you're
politicking really bad, youknow, like, right? And everybody

(42:06):
knows it. I do something likethat to him, yeah, but he got
up, gave a speech. It was fine.They started doing a 30 minute
ballet thing. But it startedlike, Hamilton,

oh, and you see the shirt that I'm wearing? Yes,
yes, gamelton. It says, Hamiltonsucks. Yeah, but,

Law Smith (42:27):
but, you know that cadence with Hamilton that my
date was like, I should shecould see me from the side, look
at looking at the stage. She'slike, I could see the energy
just go out of you. It's like,because it was like in evil
city, Tampa, I

Unknown (42:47):
will say that is the history. That is

one time where I have rage that I don't, I can't
like I will get if I'm stuck ina performance, brother, I got up
and left exactly like I'm I willget to the point tournament, and
this is good, like, kids, mykids shit. Like, if it's
terribly organized and I'msitting there when I don't need
to, I'm

Law Smith (43:08):
like, if they make a bunch of other plays, yes, that
your kids aren't in. Yeah, thatnoise, right? I got up and I was
like, I need some nicotine gum,and walked over to public but it
was like, but for me, I waslike, Look, me going to this is
I'm already getting life creditout of it right in my head. I'm
like, the ledger is really niceon my side. So that's how my

(43:30):
brain worked. But it was a goodtime. Cool,

Unknown (43:34):
that's it All right. Cool. Let's Get out of here.
Bye. Oh, boy.

Law Smith (44:01):
Make it dark. I.

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How To Run With 2 Bears Bert Kreischer Tom Segura Jelly Roll | ROI Podcast™ ep. 484 | Law Smith @LawSmithWorks & Eric Readinger

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}How To Run With 2 Bears Bert Kreischer Tom Segura Jelly Roll | ROI Podcast™ ep. 484 | Law Smith @LawSmithWorks & Eric Readinger