Savage Lovecast
Dan Savage, America's only advice columnist, answers your sex and relationship questions and yaps about politics. To record a question for Dan to be answered in a later podcast, record your question and send it to Q@Savage.Love, or call 206-302-2064. For a much longer version of the show, with no ads, visit savage.love and get yourself a subscription.
Episodes
October 28, 2025 • 56 mins
A woman's lefty friend berated her for enjoying drag, saying it's like blackface for trans women. The caller loves drag and had never thought about this before. Is it true?
A straight man loves the idea of seeing a naked woman walking around her house. He wonders if others would love to see him naked, you know, just kickin' it at home.
On the Magnum, let the swooning begin! Actor Ben Palacios from Palm Royale is charming, talen...
Mark as Played
October 24, 2025 • 10 mins
Welcome to our first stand-alone After-Action Report!
He got in a full body spiderman suit. And then the action began.
Hear Dan chat with the man who took cos-play to a whole new level.
If YOU recently had a new sexual experience (good or bad,) write it up and send it in to Q@Savage.Love with the subject line: After Action Report.
Ask Dan a question!Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064
EVERY TUESDAY: Get more of Dan on Savage Lo...
Mark as Played
October 21, 2025 • 54 mins
A woman just started a dating a man 12 years her junior. But he doesn't know her age, and has never asked her, even on her birthday. Should she tell him?
A couple were approached by a man who initiated a relationship where he is their sex slave. But he is a very demanding slave, sending too many texts, and generally violating their boundaries. He pays them for their attentions. So who's the boss here?
Dan welcomes Imani Askew-Sh...
Mark as Played
October 14, 2025 • 55 mins
Compare and contrast these two body image calls: A woman's boyfriend is so insecure about his big body, that he can't get hard. She thinks he's hot as can be but can't seem to convince him of this. Meanwhile, a man finds that most of the women he meets in his open relationship dating community are too fat for him. Where can he find some skinny chicks into non-monogamy?
Is there a top shortage? Not enough tops? Should we panic? Whe...
Mark as Played
October 7, 2025 • 55 mins
A woman and her boyfriend, (in an open relationship) tried shibari and enjoyed the intimacy of it. She suggested they exclusively practice shibari with each other, unlike all the other sexual activities they do with their other lovers. At first he agreed, but now he's balking. Should she try to make this a rule of their relationship, or cut him free to t ie up other women?
Can semen be safely employed as a sexual lubricant?
Our ...
Mark as Played
September 30, 2025 • 55 mins
How can a woman safely indulge her kink when the thing that turns her on is fear?
A man is convinced that his bidet use makes him pee more. Our long suffering, patient and kind medical expert, Doc Barak is back to sigh heavily and pretend to take the question seriously. Also, can we trust the CDC these days?
On the Magnum, the concept is simple. A man with a beautiful British accent reads erotica while jacking it to high heaven...
Mark as Played
September 23, 2025 • 54 mins
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A gay man is lucky to be in a throuple relationship. But he worries that he's having too much sex, and thinking about sex so much that it's distracting him at work. Is he a sex addict? What can he do to cool his fevered libido?
A strong, confident woman likes casual hook-ups. Her friends joke that she is "a boy on the inside." Her (and our) question is: What is wron...
Mark as Played
September 16, 2025 • 51 mins
A man in a poly triad has a girlfriend. His girlfriend has a boyfriend, and they all live together, share a dog, and plan to have kids. The caller and the other guy will be at a wedding full of normies who don't know the nature of their relationship. Should he just say they're a gay couple? Or explain the whole poly thing?
He can't eat gluten. His boyfriend eats a lot of gluten. Can he eat his boyfriend's come?
On the Magnum, w...
Mark as Played
September 9, 2025 • 56 mins
A married mother did some sex work in her younger, wilder days. She's turned on by money, so it seems obvious that she should be a findom. But the typical clientele prefer a younger woman to take their money. How can she get her middle-aged kink on?
Meanwhile, a gay man thinks porn is boooor-rrinnng! It's unrealistic, predictable and repetitive. Is there anything good out there?
Sometimes you get questions that can only be answ...
Mark as Played
September 2, 2025 • 51 mins
A man's 80 year-old father is getting scammed and extorted by a findom. Should he go to the police? Change his account numbers? See a marriage counselor?
A gay man in his 20s looks very young. He worries that the men who are attracted to him may be skeezy because he looks more like a boy than a man. His friends tell him to work it. But how can he safely enjoy New York City's gay dating scene?
On the Magnum, a concerned mom wonde...
Mark as Played
August 26, 2025 • 58 mins
A woman's old friend and sometime lover asked her for a beaver shot to ease his stress on an upcoming couples trip. She obliged. Did he thank her? No he did not. She's miffed, and wonders if she's being too sensitive.
We love questions like this: What do gay men actually do with vibrators?
Our guest is the indomitable E. Jean Carroll. She is a journalist and the author of five books, including a biography of Hunter S. Thompson,...
Mark as Played
August 19, 2025 • 52 mins
A cute li'l gal worries she just isn't a very convincing dom. How can she use psychology to establish her sexy top role?
A newly out pan man is ready to dive into gay culture. But he isn't quite ready to shave his pubes! Does he have to?
On the Magnum, Dan chats with novelist and television writer Kashana Cauley. (Author of The Payback and The Survivalists.) They talk about the pleasure of dystopian novels in a dystopian present...
Mark as Played
August 12, 2025 • 53 mins
"Not generous." That is what a gay man puts on his app profile to signify that he is not interested in sex workers. Is this offensive?
Hear the heart-warming tale of how a woman spiced up her sex life by creating an Onlyfans account for only one fan- her husband.
A gay man loves going to "gay island." It's a small gathering space in a river where queer folks can be together in a chill, clothing-optional way. But guess who is in...
Mark as Played
August 5, 2025 • 56 mins
A woman is grappling with the dubious ethics of financial domination. Her friend asked her to do it, and she made a quick, easy $1k. But she knows that it is addictive and can ruin men's lives. Should she continue?
A gay man is being bothered to distraction by his straight pal who teases and dominates him. They work together. Driven wild by lust, the caller worries that if he acknowledges the dynamic and shares his feelings, all ...
Mark as Played
July 29, 2025 • 44 mins
While tidying up after some Airbnb guests, a gay man discovered a vibrator left under the pillow. Should he message the couple and offer to send it back, or would that be too embarrassing?
One year ago, a woman called the show about her boyfriend, and Dan advised her to break up with him. But they are still together today, and the woman wonders if she should tell her boyfriend about the episode.
On the Magnum, Dan chats with Mel...
Mark as Played
July 22, 2025 • 51 mins
A woman's boyfriend wants her to drug him, have her way with him and share him with her friends. He did this before with an ex, and loved it. She's intrigued, but cautious. Should she do it?
A straight man is miffed when women act like they want to meet for a second time, but then disappear. Aren't women violating the consent culture contract when they do this?
On the Magnum, Dan speaks with Arielle Domb- the intrepid journalis...
Mark as Played
July 15, 2025 • 53 mins
The woman in a married couple that does not want children accidentally got pregnant. This happened once before, and she learned that her husband is against abortion on religious grounds. Should she tell him she will end this pregnancy, or keep it secret from him?
Do accidents happen in BDSM? They sure do! Hear the harrowing tale of one man's consequential mistake. Dan brings on Australian kink educator "The Funny Dom" to talk thi...
Mark as Played
July 8, 2025 • 52 mins
A queer woman has a non-binary, AFAB spouse. Her partner can mime the action of cunnilingus with their tongue, flicking and teasing across the dinner table, like a horny lizard. The caller wishes she could do the same, but her tongue just doesn't work that way. She also gets low marks on her oral technique, and couldn't play the clarinet very well in school. Does she just have a bad tongue? Are there exercises she could do?
A 5...
Mark as Played
July 1, 2025 • 56 mins
A woman in her late 40s is struggling to process a relationship she had when she was in college. She slept with a former professor of hers but then got rejected by him. After she moved away, she arranged a visit with him, and got rejected again. Now, over 20 years later, she's wondering if his actions were unethical or inappropriate.
We've gotten some tricky parenting questions in the past, but this one is extra-special. The call...
Mark as Played
June 24, 2025 • 57 mins
Her boyfriend of one year is perfect in every way! Except...he is stoned literally all the time. But he's a great lover, communicates well, and truly loves the caller. So is this really a problem? Will it be eventually?
A gay man was raised Mormon, and got the hell out. Now he's living his best gay life, with a boyfriend he loves. But he never had a slutty phase, and worries that the only way to truly exorcise the Mormon mentalit...
Mark as Played
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