March 24, 2025 • 22 mins
Are you ready to pull your teens and kids from public school to start homeschooling, but don't know where to start!? This mini-series is the place. In this episode, we discuss finding community, for your family! This is the 5 episode of 5 in this mini-series. For a deeper dive into the homeschooling transition, check out Episode 1: Beginning the Journey of this podcast.
Homeschooling 101 Part 1: Laws on YouTube
Homeschooling 101 Part 2: Deschooling on YouTube
Homeschooling 101 Part 3: Creating a Vision on YouTube
Homeschooling 101 Part 4: Philosophies on YouTube
Homeschooling 101 Part 5: Finding Community & Friends on YouTube
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Are you worried that if you start
homeschooling, your children will become
unsocialized, homeschool heathens without
any friends, and you're worried that there
will be no community to support you or your
kids and they won't have any friends.
Well, my friends, this is part five of the
how to Homeschool Homeschooling 101 series,
our roadmap to help you jumpstart your
(00:21):
homeschooling success.
And today we're going to talk about how do
you find community for you and for your
kids and for your whole family.
Now, when we started homeschooling, I kind
of assumed that my kids would no longer
hang out with their public school friends.
Not intentionally, it was just kind of in
the back of my head.
(00:41):
But the reality is they continued and still
continue to hang out with their public
school friends.
I think that's a myth.
That kind of looms around like you can't
have public school friends if you
homeschool, but the reality is, if you're
coming out of the school system, they're
going to have those friends.
Now, one caveat is that if one of the
reasons you're homeschooling is because of
(01:02):
some of the public school friends, okay,
yeah, then you may not want to keep those
relationships, but otherwise you don't have
to let those relationships go.
Will there be a little bit of a strain in
the friendships because the kids are
different and sometimes children have a
hard time bridging gaps like, oh you public
(01:22):
school and I homeschool and we can still be
friends.
Yeah, sometimes that's hard but for the
most part my kids maintained their public
school friends.
It just became a little bit more work, and
I think that's the key is, when our kids go
to public school they make their
friendships while they're at school and we
don't have to do a lot of work as far as
that goes.
(01:44):
And that shifts as we start homeschooling,
because you as a parent have got to become
more intentional about providing them
opportunities to make friends, to create a
community and all of that good stuff.
Now you might already have a community.
I know we already.
I am a part of a very strong church
(02:05):
community and when we started homeschooling
there was nobody else at church who
homeschooled and that was a little bit hard
for my kids because their church friends
some of their church friends went to public
school with them.
Not all of them, but some of them went to
their same school.
Um, one girl from church did tell my
(02:25):
daughter that now that she homeschooled she
was weird overnight.
Her mom was totally embarrassed about that
and she's like I'm so sorry.
Funny thing is she was thinking about
withdrawing her daughter to homeschool.
Her daughter did not know that.
You might find that like when you switch
over that your normal community whether
it's at church or your public school
(02:46):
friends, um, sometimes different, uh,
extracurricular activities it people kind
of do a shift and are like, oh, oh, you're
homeschooling now, okay, and they'll be
polite.
Sometimes they can be rude.
Most of the time, if they're your friends,
they're going to be like okay, um, and
(03:06):
anticipate that that might happen, but you
don't, you don't have to give up those
friendships at all.
But what became very clear as we started
that first month in August of 2020, um and
my, my kids did feel a lot of loneliness
and I felt very isolated and alone.
(03:27):
I didn't know what I was doing, and so it
becomes necessary to find, to give yourself
time first of all, to find different friend
groups for your children and a community
that works with you, and you need to
remember like, if you do meet a group, you
don't have to stay with that group.
So let's talk about um, some areas that you
(03:49):
can find some, find some other
homeschoolers.
Uh, when we started, I knew two other
families that homeschooled, and one of them
was a newer homeschool family, and so we
decided that we would get together once a
week on Fridays and do stuff together.
And it was so great mostly because it was
(04:12):
great for most of my kids but my oldest son
there was nobody his age because he was the
oldest in the group and that was really
tough for him.
And then, to make matters worse, two months
in kind of the glue of the group informed
us that she was moving to a different state,
and so suddenly, you know, we were just
(04:33):
gaining momentum and in November their
family was packing up to move, and by
December they moved, and so I felt like I
was kind of back to the drawing board, and
so I spent the rest of that first year in
the process of de-schooling as well as
trying to just get my my sea legs, if you
(04:53):
will like.
How do we do this whole homeschooling thing?
And I started um looking into local
Facebook groups and people would post you
know we're doing a meetup.
I joined all of the local Facebook groups
and people would post you know we're doing
a meetup.
I joined all of the local Facebook groups
and so we did um local meetups.
I remember one lady posted online hey, we
(05:15):
just moved here, we're homeschoolers.
My daughter's 12.
Uh, we're meeting at a bowling alley for
her birthday.
Are there any other moms out there who have
13 year old daughters or 12 year old
daughters or 14 year old daughters that
would be willing to come to this birthday
party?
Don't bring gifts, just come.
And um, this mom really put herself out
there and so we went and my daughter and I
(05:37):
went and we bowled with this sweet girl and
there was there, ended up being like 10
girls, like 10 families that showed up with
their daughters and, um, you could tell a
lot of the girls really connected in that
group really pretty quickly, whereas my
daughter was like, yeah, I don't, I don't
think these are our people, and I'm like,
hey, that's okay, that's okay.
(05:58):
And so for us that first year it was a lot
of trial and error and a lot of soul
searching for me to remember, like, how did
I meet friends?
Well, we always met friends.
We're thrown together in the public school
system, and so that's when I realized I had
to be more intentional.
So let's talk about this.
(06:19):
If your kids are already in extracurricular
activities most likely there are
homeschoolers in the extracurricular
activities.
Let me give you some for instance of
extracurricular activities.
Most likely there are homeschoolers in the
extracurricular activities.
Let me give you some for instance of
extracurricular activities Dance, cheer
sports, taekwondo, karate, scouting, boy
Scouts Actually, I guess it's just scouts
now Girl Scouts, trail Life, american
(06:41):
Heritage those are all like scouting,
wilderness type troops.
There's local youth bands and orchestras,
local youth theater companies, local youth
choirs, 4-h, and so if you can get your
kids involved in those extracurricular
activities, most likely there are other
homeschoolers in that group.
There are other homeschoolers in that group.
(07:03):
When our second year of homeschooling I
found a youth orchestra and it was actually
an after-school youth orchestra and what we
found was half of the orchestra
homeschooled and we were able to connect
with some really cool families and I went
(07:24):
back to you know, hey, I'm Janae.
Could, can I get your phone number?
And we get the kids together and see if it
works.
And it's a lot of trial and error and I
wish it was an easier way to say no, it's
not trial and error, you just do it.
But it's the reality of friendship and the
good thing is when you get into your
twenties and that's what it becomes like,
trying to find friends anyway.
Like there's a lot of trial and error
(07:44):
versus we're all doing the same thing at
the same time.
I mean you might work together, but that
doesn't mean you're going to connect with
people in your workplace.
Or you might go to college, but that
doesn't mean you're going to be best
friends with your roommate, and so you have
to be intentional about finding friends,
even in college.
Well, it's the same principle, like you
have to be intentional about finding
(08:04):
friends.
But again, in a lot of those groups you
will find that there are homeschoolers.
In our youth repertory companies we have
four.
Half I have found half of the kids are
homeschoolers in those groups.
No matter which one you pick, half of them
are homeschoolers.
So you can really lean into those
(08:25):
extracurricular activities and start asking
around who's homeschoolers?
But extracurricular activities do cost
money.
So if you're looking for a cheaper avenue
to find friends, I started looking into
enrichment programs.
Now, enrichment programs depending on your
state.
Sometimes they are state funded, sometimes
they are not.
(08:51):
In the state of Colorado, a child is
legally allowed to do one state funded
enrichment program per year, and they
usually are one to two days.
And so, for example, my high school
daughter is in an arts enrichment program
where they it's a theater based enrichment
program, where they it's a theater-based
enrichment program where they do a musical
and they meet once a week.
And so I signed her up for that and that
was year three that I found that enrichment
(09:13):
program and that is where she really
started to blossom and she met friends who
have become just her kindred spirits.
As Anne of Green Gables said, they are her
bosom friends and they are at our house all
the time.
My son he's my oldest homeschooling child
(09:36):
who's now 18, he found he's got a very big
personality and so he would bring friends
that he met through concurrent enrollment
in college and his old public school
friends and kids from church, and he kind
of brought them all together and so he was
able to establish a group of friends.
And they all are different as far as some
do public school, some don't, some have
graduated, some have not, some are
(09:58):
homeschooled, some are doing concurrent
enrollment, and so that's where he found
his group of friends.
But my youngest daughter that's where she
has found her closest little group of
friends is through her enrichment program.
It becomes like multi-layered because
number one, I chose enrichment programs
based on their interests, and then number
(10:22):
two.
I had to see if their, if the kids like, if
their personalities fit with the other
group of kids and and when it does happen
like this to use a term from the eighties,
like the, synergy is amazing which often
will happen is when you, when you put your
kids in enrichment programs based on their
interests, they are drawn oftentimes to the
(10:44):
kids in those enrichment programs because
those kids have the exact same interests.
Does that make sense?
And so they're like-minded personalities.
Enrichment programs is an option.
Again.
They're usually one to two times a week,
usually once a week all day, and they get
to see those kids on a regular basis.
(11:07):
Another option is co-ops are usually put
together by groups of family.
Our second year homeschooling we joined a
co-op and met some great friends, but the
problem was that it was an hour north of us
and we drove every Wednesday up to that
co-op and we spent all day there and my
(11:27):
kids took some awesome classes in American
history and civics and Shakespeare, but it
was an hour away and so if my kids wanted
to hang out with those kids an hour north
of us, it was really tricky to get there
together with their friends because it was
such a long drive, and so I was like, okay,
I've gotta find co-ops that are more local.
(11:50):
And so you go on Facebook and you start
looking for co-ops.
Co-ops are usually family-led or they're
parent-led, where different parents teach
different classes.
It usually lasts either half a day or a
full day.
It's done once a week and and it's usually
multi-ages, and so there's younger kids
groups and there's older kids groups and
(12:12):
you all come together and divide up into
your different groups and then do your
thing.
If you are a, if you decide to go with the
classical philosophy, there's an enrichment
program called Classical Conversations and
they meet weekly and I know a lot of the
classical people.
(12:32):
Those become their people right?
They're like-minded, they follow the same
philosophy, and so you can look at the
Classical Conversations as and they're all
over the country Another group that's out
there is the wild plus free group or the
wild and free group.
They tend to lean more towards unschooling
and so oftentimes there's a lot of those
(12:52):
groups out there, but those are generally
geared to younger kids, whereas like
classical conversations is multi-aged um
groups.
Wild and free tends to be mostly like moms
with younger kids.
So the wild and free grief free groups that
we met I was like oh, this doesn't it's,
this is not sufficient for my older kids.
Okay, another thing you can look for.
(13:14):
So you've got enrichment programs, you've
got you can look for co-ops.
You find those on Facebook.
Um, a question that I often get asked by
non homeschoolers is, like I had a lady who
wanted to advertise writing classes to
homeschoolers and she's like, where would I
advertise that?
And I said, well, here's the problem is
(13:35):
it's kind of a double-edged sword.
Homeschooling is very decentralized.
So we're used to a public school system
that is very, very centralized, right, we
have a department of education and then we
have all the school districts and the
schools are within the districts and it's
very top-down, very organized, very, very
(13:55):
authoritative structure in the
homeschooling world.
It is very decentralized and that's
actually.
At first I thought that was a bad thing,
but actually I feel like it's a good thing,
because then there is no control of power,
like it maintains parents keeping their
autonomy as the caregiver and the teacher
(14:17):
and the parent in the children's lives, as
opposed to putting the role and the power
and the authority into the hands of a
government agency, right?
So because it's very decentralized,
sometimes it's hard to find enrichment
programs, it's hard to find co-ops and you
have to do your homework and you have to do
(14:37):
digging and you have to ask a lot of people.
But once you get into the homeschooling
world and start asking around, people are
happy to help and go oh yeah, we go to such
and such co-op or we go to this.
So the other thing you can do is look for
classes or clubs that are for homeschoolers
specifically.
(14:58):
My son a couple years ago was a part of
Landsharks the homeschooling team.
They had all of the public school teams and
then there was a specific homeschooling
team and we went on to the Landshark's
website and it said for our area and it
said homeschool group and I was like, oh,
and we were able to meet some really cool
friends that way.
(15:20):
There are writing classes that are
specifically for homeschoolers.
There are music, art and dance classes and
groups and clubs that are for homeschoolers.
You often will find those by asking around
or by posting on local Facebook groups.
That's one beautiful thing about social
(15:40):
media For as much garbage as social media
brings to our world, the beautiful thing
that it brings decentralized groups
together.
So, uh, go on Facebook and look for local
Facebook groups and join those groups and
ask questions in those groups because,
especially the long time homeschool moms
(16:01):
are going to know the answers.
Now, some of them can be a little
persnickety because they're like people
have already asked this, right, and they
forget what it's like to start
homeschooling and just ignore the Karens.
There are plenty of people who will help
you.
And so go on those groups and say, hey, I
am looking for this kind of an enrichment
program or I'm looking for this kind of a
class I am looking for I once I saw an
(16:23):
advertisement once for a welding class.
It was like a welding, blacksmithing class,
and I saw the advertisement once.
I didn't see it again for months.
I went on to a local Facebook group and
said, hey, somebody advertised a
blacksmithing class and I can't find it.
And like within five minutes, 20 people are
like, oh, it's this group, right.
And then my kids ended up doing that.
(16:44):
It was great.
The homeschooling moms know their stuff and
they are well-connected most of the time.
And so go on local Facebook groups.
Um, go on local meetups.
A lot of times people are like, hey, we're
doing a meetup at this time, on this date.
Who wants to join?
Put yourself out there and take your
children and I know it's hard and I know
(17:06):
it's uncomfortable, but you in the
homeschooling world, you have to be
intentional about making friendships for
your kids and making those connections for
your kids.
Uh, for my kids my kids best friends are
still each other now, but they do like
having friends outside of our family, right,
(17:26):
they do love hanging out with kids and we
had kids here until midnight last night
making fried chicken again and they were
granted.
They were all teenagers.
My younger kids were doing a play date
right this second as I'm recording this
right.
(17:48):
So you have to be intentional about
connecting with other families.
The other option you have is, if you cannot
find what you're looking for, create your
own.
So our third year of homeschooling, I had
this idea in my head of what I wanted a
co-op to look like, and so I contacted a
whole bunch of families that I knew who
homeschooled and I created my own co-op and
(18:10):
we ended up having man.
We ended up having like 15 or 20 families
that joined the co-op and we ended up
having um man.
We ended up having like 15 or 20 families
that joined the co-op.
We only did it for a year and that was the
intention.
I was like I just want to get through this
class.
We did it for a year.
There was teenagers all the way down to
babies, and the teenagers had a class like
12 to 18.
We had a class for them and there was a lot
(18:30):
of them.
So we did actually a class from the middle
group and the class for the younger kids
and as parents, we just divided up and each
taught certain classes.
It was great.
We only did it for a year and then we
disbanded.
If a group is not working for you, you can
change.
You don't have to keep going.
I think that that was a shift that I made
(18:51):
coming out of the public school system, as
I was so used to.
Well, this is how it is, so you just deal
that it became oh no, if that doesn't work
for you or your family, you can make a
switch.
Now I would make my kids go all the way
through enrichment programs or their or the
co-ops that were of interest to them, that
(19:17):
satisfied their personal interests, and
they found like-minded kids with that.
So you've got to be patient, you've got to
give yourself time and you actually do have
to put yourself out there and honestly, I
look at my kids' friends.
Now we're four and a half years in and I
wouldn't trade their friendships for the
world for as great as some of their public
(19:40):
school friends were.
I look at these very beautifully deep
friendships when you're homeschooling.
Granted, the homeschooling world is on a
spectrum You've got secular homeschoolers,
you've got religious homeschoolers, you've
got religious homeschoolers, you've got
unschoolers and you've got classical
homeschoolers and you've got all these
different things.
But when, when you find other families that
(20:03):
share the same values as you you believe in,
um, part of that value is like we as
parents should are capable of teaching our
kids.
We are the ones who should be instilling
the values in our kids.
And then you combine the interest with the
kids.
I found that my kids' relationships are far
(20:25):
deeper than my older kids who went all the
way through public school, made those
public school friends and they were great
friends.
But there's just this other dimension, this
other element when you bring in
homeschooling, and I think part of it is
that these kids still respect their parents,
they still honor their parents Not that
there's public school kids who don't,
(20:46):
because I definitely know lots of public
school kids who adore their parents,
respect their parents.
It's just a different dynamic when you do
find really close-knit friends for your
kids within the homeschooling community and
it's quite beautiful.
If you found this little five-part mini
series helpful, go back and start with
episode one beginning the journey of the
(21:07):
School to Homeschool podcast.
I go into a lot more depth and detail in
the School to Homeschool podcast.
I want your transition to be a positive,
wonderful experience.
You can find it in the show notes episode
one, beginning the journey.
Are you worried that if you start
homeschooling, your children will become
unsocialized, homeschool heathens without
any friends, and you're worried that there
will be no community to support you or your
kids and they won't have any friends.
Well, my friends, this is part five of the
how to Homeschool Homeschooling 101 series,
our roadmap to help you jumpstart your
(00:21):
homeschooling success.
And today we're going to talk about how do
you find community for you and for your
kids and for your whole family.
Now, when we started homeschooling, I kind
of assumed that my kids would no longer
hang out with their public school friends.
Not intentionally, it was just kind of in
the back of my head.
(00:41):
But the reality is they continued and still
continue to hang out with their public
school friends.
I think that's a myth.
That kind of looms around like you can't
have public school friends if you
homeschool, but the reality is, if you're
coming out of the school system, they're
going to have those friends.
Now, one caveat is that if one of the
reasons you're homeschooling is because of
(01:02):
some of the public school friends, okay,
yeah, then you may not want to keep those
relationships, but otherwise you don't have
to let those relationships go.
Will there be a little bit of a strain in
the friendships because the kids are
different and sometimes children have a
hard time bridging gaps like, oh you public
(01:22):
school and I homeschool and we can still be
friends.
Yeah, sometimes that's hard but for the
most part my kids maintained their public
school friends.
It just became a little bit more work, and
I think that's the key is, when our kids go
to public school they make their
friendships while they're at school and we
don't have to do a lot of work as far as
that goes.
(01:44):
And that shifts as we start homeschooling,
because you as a parent have got to become
more intentional about providing them
opportunities to make friends, to create a
community and all of that good stuff.
Now you might already have a community.
I know we already.
I am a part of a very strong church
(02:05):
community and when we started homeschooling
there was nobody else at church who
homeschooled and that was a little bit hard
for my kids because their church friends
some of their church friends went to public
school with them.
Not all of them, but some of them went to
their same school.
Um, one girl from church did tell my
(02:25):
daughter that now that she homeschooled she
was weird overnight.
Her mom was totally embarrassed about that
and she's like I'm so sorry.
Funny thing is she was thinking about
withdrawing her daughter to homeschool.
Her daughter did not know that.
You might find that like when you switch
over that your normal community whether
it's at church or your public school
(02:46):
friends, um, sometimes different, uh,
extracurricular activities it people kind
of do a shift and are like, oh, oh, you're
homeschooling now, okay, and they'll be
polite.
Sometimes they can be rude.
Most of the time, if they're your friends,
they're going to be like okay, um, and
(03:06):
anticipate that that might happen, but you
don't, you don't have to give up those
friendships at all.
But what became very clear as we started
that first month in August of 2020, um and
my, my kids did feel a lot of loneliness
and I felt very isolated and alone.
(03:27):
I didn't know what I was doing, and so it
becomes necessary to find, to give yourself
time first of all, to find different friend
groups for your children and a community
that works with you, and you need to
remember like, if you do meet a group, you
don't have to stay with that group.
So let's talk about um, some areas that you
(03:49):
can find some, find some other
homeschoolers.
Uh, when we started, I knew two other
families that homeschooled, and one of them
was a newer homeschool family, and so we
decided that we would get together once a
week on Fridays and do stuff together.
And it was so great mostly because it was
(04:12):
great for most of my kids but my oldest son
there was nobody his age because he was the
oldest in the group and that was really
tough for him.
And then, to make matters worse, two months
in kind of the glue of the group informed
us that she was moving to a different state,
and so suddenly, you know, we were just
(04:33):
gaining momentum and in November their
family was packing up to move, and by
December they moved, and so I felt like I
was kind of back to the drawing board, and
so I spent the rest of that first year in
the process of de-schooling as well as
trying to just get my my sea legs, if you
(04:53):
will like.
How do we do this whole homeschooling thing?
And I started um looking into local
Facebook groups and people would post you
know we're doing a meetup.
I joined all of the local Facebook groups
and people would post you know we're doing
a meetup.
I joined all of the local Facebook groups
and so we did um local meetups.
I remember one lady posted online hey, we
(05:15):
just moved here, we're homeschoolers.
My daughter's 12.
Uh, we're meeting at a bowling alley for
her birthday.
Are there any other moms out there who have
13 year old daughters or 12 year old
daughters or 14 year old daughters that
would be willing to come to this birthday
party?
Don't bring gifts, just come.
And um, this mom really put herself out
there and so we went and my daughter and I
(05:37):
went and we bowled with this sweet girl and
there was there, ended up being like 10
girls, like 10 families that showed up with
their daughters and, um, you could tell a
lot of the girls really connected in that
group really pretty quickly, whereas my
daughter was like, yeah, I don't, I don't
think these are our people, and I'm like,
hey, that's okay, that's okay.
(05:58):
And so for us that first year it was a lot
of trial and error and a lot of soul
searching for me to remember, like, how did
I meet friends?
Well, we always met friends.
We're thrown together in the public school
system, and so that's when I realized I had
to be more intentional.
So let's talk about this.
(06:19):
If your kids are already in extracurricular
activities most likely there are
homeschoolers in the extracurricular
activities.
Let me give you some for instance of
extracurricular activities.
Most likely there are homeschoolers in the
extracurricular activities.
Let me give you some for instance of
extracurricular activities Dance, cheer
sports, taekwondo, karate, scouting, boy
Scouts Actually, I guess it's just scouts
now Girl Scouts, trail Life, american
(06:41):
Heritage those are all like scouting,
wilderness type troops.
There's local youth bands and orchestras,
local youth theater companies, local youth
choirs, 4-h, and so if you can get your
kids involved in those extracurricular
activities, most likely there are other
homeschoolers in that group.
There are other homeschoolers in that group.
(07:03):
When our second year of homeschooling I
found a youth orchestra and it was actually
an after-school youth orchestra and what we
found was half of the orchestra
homeschooled and we were able to connect
with some really cool families and I went
(07:24):
back to you know, hey, I'm Janae.
Could, can I get your phone number?
And we get the kids together and see if it
works.
And it's a lot of trial and error and I
wish it was an easier way to say no, it's
not trial and error, you just do it.
But it's the reality of friendship and the
good thing is when you get into your
twenties and that's what it becomes like,
trying to find friends anyway.
Like there's a lot of trial and error
(07:44):
versus we're all doing the same thing at
the same time.
I mean you might work together, but that
doesn't mean you're going to connect with
people in your workplace.
Or you might go to college, but that
doesn't mean you're going to be best
friends with your roommate, and so you have
to be intentional about finding friends,
even in college.
Well, it's the same principle, like you
have to be intentional about finding
(08:04):
friends.
But again, in a lot of those groups you
will find that there are homeschoolers.
In our youth repertory companies we have
four.
Half I have found half of the kids are
homeschoolers in those groups.
No matter which one you pick, half of them
are homeschoolers.
So you can really lean into those
(08:25):
extracurricular activities and start asking
around who's homeschoolers?
But extracurricular activities do cost
money.
So if you're looking for a cheaper avenue
to find friends, I started looking into
enrichment programs.
Now, enrichment programs depending on your
state.
Sometimes they are state funded, sometimes
they are not.
(08:51):
In the state of Colorado, a child is
legally allowed to do one state funded
enrichment program per year, and they
usually are one to two days.
And so, for example, my high school
daughter is in an arts enrichment program
where they it's a theater based enrichment
program, where they it's a theater-based
enrichment program where they do a musical
and they meet once a week.
And so I signed her up for that and that
was year three that I found that enrichment
(09:13):
program and that is where she really
started to blossom and she met friends who
have become just her kindred spirits.
As Anne of Green Gables said, they are her
bosom friends and they are at our house all
the time.
My son he's my oldest homeschooling child
(09:36):
who's now 18, he found he's got a very big
personality and so he would bring friends
that he met through concurrent enrollment
in college and his old public school
friends and kids from church, and he kind
of brought them all together and so he was
able to establish a group of friends.
And they all are different as far as some
do public school, some don't, some have
graduated, some have not, some are
(09:58):
homeschooled, some are doing concurrent
enrollment, and so that's where he found
his group of friends.
But my youngest daughter that's where she
has found her closest little group of
friends is through her enrichment program.
It becomes like multi-layered because
number one, I chose enrichment programs
based on their interests, and then number
(10:22):
two.
I had to see if their, if the kids like, if
their personalities fit with the other
group of kids and and when it does happen
like this to use a term from the eighties,
like the, synergy is amazing which often
will happen is when you, when you put your
kids in enrichment programs based on their
interests, they are drawn oftentimes to the
(10:44):
kids in those enrichment programs because
those kids have the exact same interests.
Does that make sense?
And so they're like-minded personalities.
Enrichment programs is an option.
Again.
They're usually one to two times a week,
usually once a week all day, and they get
to see those kids on a regular basis.
(11:07):
Another option is co-ops are usually put
together by groups of family.
Our second year homeschooling we joined a
co-op and met some great friends, but the
problem was that it was an hour north of us
and we drove every Wednesday up to that
co-op and we spent all day there and my
(11:27):
kids took some awesome classes in American
history and civics and Shakespeare, but it
was an hour away and so if my kids wanted
to hang out with those kids an hour north
of us, it was really tricky to get there
together with their friends because it was
such a long drive, and so I was like, okay,
I've gotta find co-ops that are more local.
(11:50):
And so you go on Facebook and you start
looking for co-ops.
Co-ops are usually family-led or they're
parent-led, where different parents teach
different classes.
It usually lasts either half a day or a
full day.
It's done once a week and and it's usually
multi-ages, and so there's younger kids
groups and there's older kids groups and
(12:12):
you all come together and divide up into
your different groups and then do your
thing.
If you are a, if you decide to go with the
classical philosophy, there's an enrichment
program called Classical Conversations and
they meet weekly and I know a lot of the
classical people.
(12:32):
Those become their people right?
They're like-minded, they follow the same
philosophy, and so you can look at the
Classical Conversations as and they're all
over the country Another group that's out
there is the wild plus free group or the
wild and free group.
They tend to lean more towards unschooling
and so oftentimes there's a lot of those
(12:52):
groups out there, but those are generally
geared to younger kids, whereas like
classical conversations is multi-aged um
groups.
Wild and free tends to be mostly like moms
with younger kids.
So the wild and free grief free groups that
we met I was like oh, this doesn't it's,
this is not sufficient for my older kids.
Okay, another thing you can look for.
(13:14):
So you've got enrichment programs, you've
got you can look for co-ops.
You find those on Facebook.
Um, a question that I often get asked by
non homeschoolers is, like I had a lady who
wanted to advertise writing classes to
homeschoolers and she's like, where would I
advertise that?
And I said, well, here's the problem is
(13:35):
it's kind of a double-edged sword.
Homeschooling is very decentralized.
So we're used to a public school system
that is very, very centralized, right, we
have a department of education and then we
have all the school districts and the
schools are within the districts and it's
very top-down, very organized, very, very
(13:55):
authoritative structure in the
homeschooling world.
It is very decentralized and that's
actually.
At first I thought that was a bad thing,
but actually I feel like it's a good thing,
because then there is no control of power,
like it maintains parents keeping their
autonomy as the caregiver and the teacher
(14:17):
and the parent in the children's lives, as
opposed to putting the role and the power
and the authority into the hands of a
government agency, right?
So because it's very decentralized,
sometimes it's hard to find enrichment
programs, it's hard to find co-ops and you
have to do your homework and you have to do
(14:37):
digging and you have to ask a lot of people.
But once you get into the homeschooling
world and start asking around, people are
happy to help and go oh yeah, we go to such
and such co-op or we go to this.
So the other thing you can do is look for
classes or clubs that are for homeschoolers
specifically.
(14:58):
My son a couple years ago was a part of
Landsharks the homeschooling team.
They had all of the public school teams and
then there was a specific homeschooling
team and we went on to the Landshark's
website and it said for our area and it
said homeschool group and I was like, oh,
and we were able to meet some really cool
friends that way.
(15:20):
There are writing classes that are
specifically for homeschoolers.
There are music, art and dance classes and
groups and clubs that are for homeschoolers.
You often will find those by asking around
or by posting on local Facebook groups.
That's one beautiful thing about social
(15:40):
media For as much garbage as social media
brings to our world, the beautiful thing
that it brings decentralized groups
together.
So, uh, go on Facebook and look for local
Facebook groups and join those groups and
ask questions in those groups because,
especially the long time homeschool moms
(16:01):
are going to know the answers.
Now, some of them can be a little
persnickety because they're like people
have already asked this, right, and they
forget what it's like to start
homeschooling and just ignore the Karens.
There are plenty of people who will help
you.
And so go on those groups and say, hey, I
am looking for this kind of an enrichment
program or I'm looking for this kind of a
class I am looking for I once I saw an
(16:23):
advertisement once for a welding class.
It was like a welding, blacksmithing class,
and I saw the advertisement once.
I didn't see it again for months.
I went on to a local Facebook group and
said, hey, somebody advertised a
blacksmithing class and I can't find it.
And like within five minutes, 20 people are
like, oh, it's this group, right.
And then my kids ended up doing that.
(16:44):
It was great.
The homeschooling moms know their stuff and
they are well-connected most of the time.
And so go on local Facebook groups.
Um, go on local meetups.
A lot of times people are like, hey, we're
doing a meetup at this time, on this date.
Who wants to join?
Put yourself out there and take your
children and I know it's hard and I know
(17:06):
it's uncomfortable, but you in the
homeschooling world, you have to be
intentional about making friendships for
your kids and making those connections for
your kids.
Uh, for my kids my kids best friends are
still each other now, but they do like
having friends outside of our family, right,
(17:26):
they do love hanging out with kids and we
had kids here until midnight last night
making fried chicken again and they were
granted.
They were all teenagers.
My younger kids were doing a play date
right this second as I'm recording this
right.
(17:48):
So you have to be intentional about
connecting with other families.
The other option you have is, if you cannot
find what you're looking for, create your
own.
So our third year of homeschooling, I had
this idea in my head of what I wanted a
co-op to look like, and so I contacted a
whole bunch of families that I knew who
homeschooled and I created my own co-op and
(18:10):
we ended up having man.
We ended up having like 15 or 20 families
that joined the co-op and we ended up
having um man.
We ended up having like 15 or 20 families
that joined the co-op.
We only did it for a year and that was the
intention.
I was like I just want to get through this
class.
We did it for a year.
There was teenagers all the way down to
babies, and the teenagers had a class like
12 to 18.
We had a class for them and there was a lot
(18:30):
of them.
So we did actually a class from the middle
group and the class for the younger kids
and as parents, we just divided up and each
taught certain classes.
It was great.
We only did it for a year and then we
disbanded.
If a group is not working for you, you can
change.
You don't have to keep going.
I think that that was a shift that I made
(18:51):
coming out of the public school system, as
I was so used to.
Well, this is how it is, so you just deal
that it became oh no, if that doesn't work
for you or your family, you can make a
switch.
Now I would make my kids go all the way
through enrichment programs or their or the
co-ops that were of interest to them, that
(19:17):
satisfied their personal interests, and
they found like-minded kids with that.
So you've got to be patient, you've got to
give yourself time and you actually do have
to put yourself out there and honestly, I
look at my kids' friends.
Now we're four and a half years in and I
wouldn't trade their friendships for the
world for as great as some of their public
(19:40):
school friends were.
I look at these very beautifully deep
friendships when you're homeschooling.
Granted, the homeschooling world is on a
spectrum You've got secular homeschoolers,
you've got religious homeschoolers, you've
got religious homeschoolers, you've got
unschoolers and you've got classical
homeschoolers and you've got all these
different things.
But when, when you find other families that
(20:03):
share the same values as you you believe in,
um, part of that value is like we as
parents should are capable of teaching our
kids.
We are the ones who should be instilling
the values in our kids.
And then you combine the interest with the
kids.
I found that my kids' relationships are far
(20:25):
deeper than my older kids who went all the
way through public school, made those
public school friends and they were great
friends.
But there's just this other dimension, this
other element when you bring in
homeschooling, and I think part of it is
that these kids still respect their parents,
they still honor their parents Not that
there's public school kids who don't,
(20:46):
because I definitely know lots of public
school kids who adore their parents,
respect their parents.
It's just a different dynamic when you do
find really close-knit friends for your
kids within the homeschooling community and
it's quite beautiful.
If you found this little five-part mini
series helpful, go back and start with
episode one beginning the journey of the
(21:07):
School to Homeschool podcast.
I go into a lot more depth and detail in
the School to Homeschool podcast.
I want your transition to be a positive,
wonderful experience.
You can find it in the show notes episode
one, beginning the journey.
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