March 17, 2025 • 26 mins
Most people think executive presence is about speaking the loudest, wearing a power suit, or throwing around corporate jargon. Kendall Berg is here to tell you that’s all wrong. Executive presence is about influence. The best leaders don’t dominate conversations—they know how to ask the right questions, build strong relationships, and stay composed under pressure.
In this episode of Secrets of the Career Game, Kendall breaks down the three core pillars of executive presence and reveals practical strategies to help you develop leadership skills that actually matter.
She shares why talking less can make you more powerful, how to handle high-pressure situations like a pro, and the fastest way to destroy your executive presence (spoiler: it’s being too detailed). If you’ve ever felt like you’re not “naturally” a leader, this episode will change your mind.
In this episode, we discuss:
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🔹 What are the three pillars of executive presence, and how do they help you lead effectively?
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🔹 Why do top executives ask more questions instead of giving all the answers?
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🔹 How can you stay calm and composed when things go sideways at work?
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🔹 What’s the #1 mistake people make that kills their executive presence?
📌 Preorder the book: Secrets of the Career Game: 36 simple strategies to win in the workplace
⭐️Get our FREE Accomplishments Tracker: https://fabulous-butterfly-83716.myflodesk.com/n8yzvrtw9v
That Career Coach
Want to know more about Kendal Berg, that career coach?
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Podcast Produced by Dany Albertina
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kendall Berg (00:00):
If you listen to my content because you think I have good executive presence or you think I'm good at soft skills, communication, storytelling, executive presence, effectively disagreeing with someone, getting you promoted, self advocacy, networking, if you listen to me for any single one of those reasons, I was terrible at all of them. There is not a single thing that I coach that I didn't do wrong first. And I know it's unpopular to admit that we're not always an expert in our space. I would argue I am an expert at soft skills and career progression coaching because I have done all the wrong things. I learned how to do the right things, and then I built a tactical playbook about how you then go forward and do those things better over the course of your career.
(00:49):
And now I've written a literal book about how to do that. All right, so if you hear executive presence, communication, soft skills, and you think, well, I'm just. I'm not good at that. That's an extrovert thing. I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with speaking. I get nervous. I don't have great executive presence. I never will. It's not something that I can learn. You are wrong. You can learn it. And I know this because I sucked at it and I learned it. And I am no smarter, no better, no more career inclined than a single person listening to this episode. You can, but you got to know what it means first, right? So if executive presence is not communication, what you wear, how you talk, how much you talk, what jargon you're using, then we have to focus on what executive presence is.
(01:36):
An executive presence is influence. Welcome back to this episode of Secrets of the Career Game. So many people are trying to navigate a corporate world that is laden with secrets, cleverly hidden and unspoken rules to a game that most employees don't even know that they're playing. On this podcast, we try to give you a peek behind the curtains and some tips and tricks to ultimately make you successful in your career and help you progress a little bit faster. Hello, my lovelies. This week we are chatting about executive presence. So this is a topic that I think comes up all the time in requests for content. It comes up with my clients.
(02:17):
I also see it being kind of a vague, obscure phrase that's used on the Internet, where we all talk about how everyone needs more executive presence, but there's no clarity on what that means or how that manifests in work or, frankly, how to tactically achieve it. So this week, we are jumping into executive presence. What it means, what it doesn't mean. And how you can improve it if it's an area of opportunity for you. So we'll start with kind of defining executive presence to start. So executive presence is not. We're gonna start with what it's not, because that's where my brain went. And so we're rolling with it. Love this. Okay? It is not about being louder. It is not about being more outspoken. It is not about having the right answer to every situation.
(03:07):
It is not about being the smartest person in the room. It is not about what you wear. It is not about what words you use. Okay? These are all common misconceptions. We think executive presence is wearing a suit, showing up in the meeting, talking a lot, using big corporate jargon, words that ultimately don't mean anything. I know you guys have seen all those TikToks and Instagram reels where they use an entire paragraph of buzzwords that ultimately means literally, Jack. All right, okay. People think that is what executive presence is, but it is not. I have worked for leaders who are arguably very soft spoken, who I would say have exceptional executive presence. I've worked for executives who wear T shirts to work, who have exceptional executive presence.
(04:03):
I've worked for individuals who made tons and tons of mistakes and had the wrong answers to a lot of questions and still had great executive presence. And so where people get stuck is we hear this and we think, well, if executive presence isn't all of those things, then when my boss tells me I need to work on executive presence, what the heck do I do? What does that even mean? It's like this esoteric, theoretical thing that some people are just naturally good at, right? They walked out of the womb in a three piece suit, ready to have executive presence in a boardroom in a high rise in New York with all glass windows. I don't know. That's not the way it works. I've talked about this before. I will continue to say it a million times.
(04:48):
I mention it in my upcoming book, Secrets of the Career Game. There is not a single skill that any executive has that you cannot learn full stop. People make you think that there are skills you can't learn, that you just got to be born with the ability to communicate. You got to be born with this gravitas. You got to be born with executive presence. You got to be born with. Born with. It's not true. All right, raise your hand. You don't have to raise your hand because I can't see you. Lucky you. But I thought about it, right?
(05:21):
If you Listen to my content because you think I am an effective communicator, or if you listen to my content because you think I have good executive presence, or you listen to my content because you think I'm an effective storyteller, if you listen to my content because you think I'm good at soft skills, communication, storytelling, executive presence, communication, effectively disagreeing with someone, getting you promoted, self advocacy, networking. If you listen to me for any single one of those reasons, which I would assume would be a hundred percent of you guys, because that's literally all I talk about. I was terrible at all of them. There is not a single thing that I coach that I didn't do wrong first. And I know it's unpopular to admit that we're not always an expert in our space.
(06:10):
I would argue I am an expert at soft skills and career progression coaching because I have done all the wrong things. I learned how to do the right things, and then I built a tactical playbook about how you then go forward and do those things better over the course of your career. And now I've written a literal book about how to do that. All right, so if you hear executive presence, communication, soft skills, and you think, well, I'm just, I'm not good at that. That's an extrovert thing. I'm, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with speaking. I get nervous. I don't have great executive presence. I never will. It's not something that I can learn. You are wrong. You can learn it. And I know this because I sucked at it and I learned it.
(06:53):
And I am no smarter, no better, no more career inclined than a single person listening to this episode. You can, but you got to know what it means first. Right? So if executive presence is not communication, what you wear, how you talk, how much you talk, what jargon you're using, then we have to focus on what executive presence is. An executive presence is influence. I'll let that settle. Executive presence is having influence. Right. If you want to improve your executive presence, you need to improve your influence. Now, this can look a lot of different ways, depending on the culture of your company, depending on your level of seniority. But there are a few basics that tend to feed into this. You're going to be shocked because they're not things I talk about all the time. Just kidding. They totally are. That was sarcasm. Okay.
(07:51):
People who have a better network will have better executive presence because they're not walking into rooms with complete strangers with whom they have no rapport or with whom they don't understand their objectives. They are walking into rooms with individuals who they know. They know their backgrounds, they know what's important to them, they know what their goals are, they know what they're working on. It is much easier for that person to have high levels of influence and executive presence if they already know the people in the room. If you've ever presented to someone who's far more senior than you that you didn't have any pre existing relationship with, you probably kind of wanted to vomit a little, right? Even if you don't get stage fright. Okay.
(08:34):
Even if you don't get stage fright, even I will sometimes like get a little sweaty, get a little nervous. My voice gets a little shaky against my will. Right. Sometimes it just happens, right? And we get nervous. But by the fifth time you're presenting to that person, you already kind of know them. You know what to anticipate, what kind of questions they're going to ask, how they respond to situations. Do they like humor? Do they not like humor? Right. It gets easier over time. The reason it gets easier over time is because you have relationships with those individuals. And so it is easier for you to prepare effectively because you know what to anticipate and what to expect. Right? So influence starts with your network. Now, if you are somebody, quick side note here, asterisk.
(09:19):
If you are somebody who is building your executive presence because you want to do public speaking, obviously you're not always going to know everybody in your audience, but what you can get to know is the crowd. How does the crowd respond to certain things? What types of questions does the crowd ask? How engaged is the crowd? How long are they engaged? As you do public speaking more, you get to know your. Your audience, you build a relationship with your audience, and that's why it gets easier over time. Right. Stephen Bartlett, who is the podcast host of Diary of a CEO, he wrote a book, Diary of a CEO, highly recommend. If you've never read it, he's fabulous. I'm a big fan of his. He talks about how he hated public speaking, so he forced himself to do it.
(09:59):
That's because he was building a relationship with that audience. He was learning how to anticipate the audience. And then he went on to be an incredibly successful public speaker, arguably one of the best of our time. Very successful podcast, write a book, travel the world, all these things, right? So if you are looking to improve your executive presence, you must first focus on building relationships with your audience, with your coworkers, with your executives. Relationships will build a foundation. I've been told over the course of my career, executives feel really comfortable with me. I get that all the time. They feel really comfortable with you. And it's because I treat them like normal people and I make jokes with them and I ask them questions and I want to know about them and I'm not afraid that they're going to perceive that poorly.
(10:39):
I want that human connection that works for me. Now, maybe that doesn't work for you, and that's okay. You can build relationships in other ways. But for me, I'm the type of person where my COO could call me and be like, I think this is a dumb idea. Prove me wrong. And I'd be like, whoa, we don't have enough to do. Cool, let's pick it up. I have thoughts and we could chat and it would be super calm and super comfortable. If you have been eagerly awaiting the Secrets of the Career Game book, it is officially available for pre order. This book will go over 36 strategies for building success in your career and honestly is some of my best lessons, best templates and best ways for you to start to get the success and the progression in your career that you deserve.
(11:23):
If you do pre order the book, make sure that you email a screenshot of your Pre order to thatcareercoachmail.com in order to be added to our top secret community. In that community, you'll have access to me, as well as 2 live Q& A sessions. When the book launches, you'll also get an extra early copy with the first chapter of the book for you to read ahead, go to Amazon Find Secrets of the career game 36 Strategies for your career. Go ahead, place your pre order and send us an email. Building executive presence really means building influence and it starts with building relationships. The second piece of executive presence is not about talking more using jargon speaking the whole time, always having the right answer. Building executive presence is about asking the right questions.
(12:09):
The best leaders I've ever worked for who had the highest level of influence always asked me a question where I was like, you know what? I prepared for this for six months and I didn't even think of that. I don't answer that way, obviously in the meeting, but they ask great questions. They may not always have the answers, but they know what answers they need to make the right decisions. They know what answers they need in order to be effective. In order to ask good questions, you have to listen, right? So if you are the person presenting, obviously you're going to do a majority of the speaking. But then when they start talking about it and they start asking questions. You're going to listen for what those questions mean? What are they trying to get at? Do you need additional context?
(12:52):
When you have this kind of relationship where both parties are actively listening and asking legitimate questions, influential, impactful questions, you're going to have a better engagement and you are going to be perceived as someone with better executive presence. Right? So we build relationships and we ask the right questions, which requires listening to have enough context to ask the right questions, whether you are the presenter or the leader. All right, the third piece of building executive presence is really about portraying a sense of emotional stability. So what I mean by that is the individual who gets really upset and really defensive and really argumentative and yells and curses and does all these things is never going to be the person that somebody says, oh, they have such great executive presence. Right? You wouldn't. You didn't even know what executive presence was 12 minutes ago.
(13:50):
And yet you're like, no, that is not how I would define it. The person who can't be given constructive feedback is not the person who has great executive presence, the person who is hyper panicked. So this is something I see a lot. As you become a more senior leader, you're looped into more conversations, you know, when things are going wrong long before the rest of the organization does. And a lot of people become hyper panicked, like, this thing is going wrong, we have to fix it. And they become like, really excitable by certain news. The best people with the best executive presence are not excitable. They're there to inform you. They're there to solve problems. They are very emotionally stable. All right, so part of building executive presence is that emotional stability in the moment. That's where it's hard.
(14:36):
It's always easy for us to leave a meeting and go, you know, maybe I could have been more patient with that person. Maybe I should have asked more questions. It's always easier postmortem. But in the meeting, being prepared for different scenarios so that you can react in an effective, emotionally stable way is key. Now, one of the ways that I have clients do this is we identify our triggers at work. Everybody has them, right? We get frustrated when people miss a deadline or when somebody shows up to a meeting unprepared, or when somebody is indecisive and won't give us a decision on time. Right. I have them create what I call PMRs, proactive mitigation responses, which is, how would you like to respond when this situation arises? So that when it does, because it's gonna.
(15:17):
We have something in our back pocket that we can use that helps us not overreact. Right. We're not gonna be perfect. Give yourself a little bit of grace. Everybody has moments, but in general, how do we want to respond when these things happen? Right. If we go into a meeting, we should anticipate, what if they disagree with us? Great. What is our path forward? What is that plan? How are we gonna approach that situation? Right. Creating that emotional stability is really important because the best leaders, no matter what's going on around them, are calm, have a plan of action, and feel prepared. They ask good questions to make sure that things are on track and to align the team. And they do it with people with whom they have relationships, so they're able to get fast results and progress things forward.
(16:05):
That is what makes up executive presence. Right now, there are tangentially related components to this that I will touch on quickly because I know otherwise my entire comment section is going to blow up with. But you didn't talk about this, so let's talk about the five things that it's not and where it kind of can be. All right, so we'll start with, it's not what you wear. It's not. But if your entire company is a suit, tie, hair done, makeup done, dress, heels, company, and you're showing up in a hoodie and cargo shorts every day, your perception across the company, your brand will be different. I'm not saying it should work this way. I'm just saying that it does. If I'm going into the office, you can bet I'm dressed like I'm going into an office.
(16:54):
I used to joke, I used to work with a client who works for a company that's very casual in the workplace. Make your own assumptions about what company that is. Okay? We're talking sweatpants and a T shirt is okay. Jeans and a T shirt is okay. And I showed up to work with this client, and I remember I was in, like, a pantsuit and heels, and they were like, you're so overdressed. But I had instant respect from every person in that room in a way that I would not have had I been dressed more casually. And when the CEO came to sit with us an hour later, they were in a suit. Okay? So I'm not saying you have to dress a certain way. That's not what this whole secrets of a career game is about.
(17:34):
Trust me, it's about all kinds of different stuff. But I am saying that the perception of you is different depending on how you show Up. As a fun anecdotal side note, I have noticed that I close more sales calls when I'm dressed up. I'm not saying I have to dress up. There are days I take sales calls in a ponytail and a T shirt. I'm just saying, anecdotally, the evidence is there, right? So if you are looking to improve your executive presence and the executives with whom you're meeting are all dressed up, it's not a bad thing. It's not going to make or break you, but it's not a bad thing. Right? Second thing we're talking about is the communication piece, specifically corporate jargon. You do not have to use lots of flowery buzzwords and corporate jargon in order to be successful.
(18:14):
You will always gain more attraction when you are speaking the same language as the individuals around you. So if there are particular phrases, if there are particular goals, if there are things that are talked about excessively in your company, you would be wise to absorb that, right? I worked for an executive one. Just quick side note, who used to make up words, okay? And no, I'm not joking. This is not hyperbole. He legitimately would make up words that he thought represented ideas, okay? So people would say the word synergy, and he would make up a word that was specific to our company that also meant synergy. And that would be the big goal. And everybody would use that word in every meeting until that goal was achieved. Okay? I literally worked for an executive use to make a board, and they made sense, right?
(19:04):
I can think of one off the top of my head. And if I say it, people who work there are going to remember. But SLQ to cq, huh? That was the whole thing. Every meeting that phrase came up. I, to this day cannot even remember what it stands for. But were all rallied behind it because it was this executive's word of the year. And this is what we worked towards, okay? It is always easier to get things done if you're speaking the same language as the people around you, right? That means that if there is corporate jargon that is really common and you can start to incorporate it in a meaningful way, it will help you. Now, do you need to say circle back at the end of every meeting? No.
(19:39):
Do you need to say, let's put a pin in that every single meeting? No. Those are annoying. They serve no purpose. Okay? But if there are big objectives that you have that your company is aiming towards, that you can start to incorporate, you will be more successful in what you're trying to achieve. So While communication is not going to make or break you, this corporate jargon is not going to make or break you. It can be helpful. The third piece is you don't have to talk more to have more executive presence. And in fact, when were talking about executive presence, I mentioned listening more, not talking more. Talking more does not always exude confidence or exude knowledge. In fact, a lot of the time it can undermine you in a lot of ways. But you do have to speak.
(20:17):
So there is a line when it comes to executive presence where we're too quiet too often and we start to lose traction. An example of this would be if you are a senior leader on a meeting, there are 20 people and you don't speak in that meeting, but you meet with those same group of people five times that week. And it just so happens that you end up not speaking on any of those meetings. That can hurt your reputation and your brand. Now, I am not a fan of the like, thanks guys for joining at the end of every call, just to make sure you spoke. It's not going to recommend that. It's not my fave. Or they're like, hey guys, how was your weekend? At the start of every call. I mean, I do love that. That's honestly really good. Building rapport.
(20:57):
But you do need to speak up to ask questions. You do need to speak up to show emotional stability. You do need to speak up to build better relationships. The three components of executive presence require speaking. They don't require being the person who speaks the most. So if you're introverted, you can still have exceptional, in fact usually better executive presence with balance. Okay, so these are some of the components when it comes to building that executive presence. I would also recommend if this is an area of improvement for you, I want you to identify people in your company, maybe two to three, that you're like, wow, that's how I want to show up in meetings. That's who I want to be. Like, they have executive presence that I respect, they have influence that I respect.
(21:43):
And then I want you to ask at least one of them to be your mentor and for them to give you advice. Because the best way to learn is to have that two way communication with somebody who's doing the thing that you want. I would definitely recommend making sure that you're building those relationships. Also, the more exposure you get to that person, the more you're going to see what they're doing, the more you're going to absorb that like a sponge. And the more you're going to Apply it to your career, all of which are great things, right? So identify those people who are doing really well, ask them for mentorship, and then work with your boss to make clear goals around some of this.
(22:13):
Because it's such a nebulous topic, people tend to be like, well, I'm going to work on my soft skills or I'm going to work on my communication. And we create goals around that. If executive presence is your goal, make a networking goal, make a meeting presence goal that your boss is going to help you measure and really focus on how you're going to improve those tactics. The one last thing that I'll mention on executive presence is the easiest way to tank your executive presence is to be too detailed. It is the fastest way torpedo what you're trying to build. The reason I say this is I work with a lot of technically proficient people, right? Analysts, marketers, developers, engineers, scientists.
(22:57):
And because we are so close to the information, because we work so close to the details, because we want everyone to know that we did our job, we tend to jump way into the weeds and give all this information that ultimately is probably not super relevant. We overwhelm the audience and we decrease that executive presence because it looks like that emotional stability is lower and it looks like our ability to ask good questions is lower, right? So if you're really trying to improve this skill, focus on how you start things, how you start communications. Everything should start with context setting. Here's the problem statement, the objective that we're trying to achieve at a high level. Here's what we've done and what we're sharing with you today and what we're going to walk you through. Here is the summary of what we did.
(23:47):
If you are asked, you should have supporting details that you can rely on, especially if you're an individual contributor or more junior in your career. But you need to start high level. This is where it can set you sideways so fast. I'll give a quick example. If I wanted to open a yoga studio. I don't yoga, by the way, can't even touch my toes. If I wanted to open a yoga studio and I said, I'm going to present to you guys today my business case for my yoga studio, ideally I would have 312 members. Really?
(24:16):
This is because if I look at the membership fee, which would be about $89, and I multiply that by that membership rate and I subtract my fixed costs and some of my variable costs, at that point I'd really be achieving a run rate of about fifteen hundred dollars a month, which would be enough to pay myself a salary and at least to hire a general manager. But then really I've also got to think about expansion. So long term, I've looked at these other markets where I'd be able to expand additional studios and be able to open additional locations. I really feel like that might be a long term plan, but we're not there yet. We probably got about 12 months before we start talking about those.
(24:43):
So if we back up, I really want to make sure that we have all the things in place to open my studio and so on, versus someone who is starting at a high level who says, today we're here to discuss my desire to open a yoga studio. The problem that we're facing is twofold. One, we're trying to permeate a market that is relatively already saturated with other studios. So we need to be able to create a unique brand that allows us to market effectively. And second, we need to get to a break even cost point as quickly as possible. Having run the numbers for both in order to establish ourselves as a unique brand, I want us to start with a single location with a plan to expand to three locations in the next 12 months.
(25:26):
With this branding in place, then in order to hit our break even analysis in the timeline we need, our goal is to sign 312 people before the first 90 days are up in our current location. In order to do this effectively, here are the next steps that we would need to follow. Which one of those sounds better? Theoretically, I covered the exact same information in both of those spiels. One of them went straight to the details and the other one set context, set a problem statement, set an objective, had clarity, same details to support it, different delivery. Hopefully you guys found this helpful. Executive presence is one of my favorite topics because it is so nuanced and it is so specific to each person.
(26:10):
But these are the main three pillars plus a fourth bonus that I gave you that make up building that Executive Presence. If you're interested in learning more about how to do this, I highly recommend joining my Career Campus Boot Camp. Career Game Boot Camp. We're try that again. If you're interested in learning more about how to build your executive presence and how to do these things, I highly recommend joining my career Game bootcamp. It is a three month intensive. It's got coaching support. We're going to cover a lot of these topics and it's going to help you show up at work better. If you're interested in that, there is a link to book a call below to get you started.
(26:42):
Otherwise, if you like today's episode, go ahead and give us five stars and leave any comments below for me and I will get back to you guys. Otherwise, check back in next week for another amazing episode.
If you listen to my content because you think I have good executive presence or you think I'm good at soft skills, communication, storytelling, executive presence, effectively disagreeing with someone, getting you promoted, self advocacy, networking, if you listen to me for any single one of those reasons, I was terrible at all of them. There is not a single thing that I coach that I didn't do wrong first. And I know it's unpopular to admit that we're not always an expert in our space. I would argue I am an expert at soft skills and career progression coaching because I have done all the wrong things. I learned how to do the right things, and then I built a tactical playbook about how you then go forward and do those things better over the course of your career.
(00:49):
And now I've written a literal book about how to do that. All right, so if you hear executive presence, communication, soft skills, and you think, well, I'm just. I'm not good at that. That's an extrovert thing. I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with speaking. I get nervous. I don't have great executive presence. I never will. It's not something that I can learn. You are wrong. You can learn it. And I know this because I sucked at it and I learned it. And I am no smarter, no better, no more career inclined than a single person listening to this episode. You can, but you got to know what it means first, right? So if executive presence is not communication, what you wear, how you talk, how much you talk, what jargon you're using, then we have to focus on what executive presence is.
(01:36):
An executive presence is influence. Welcome back to this episode of Secrets of the Career Game. So many people are trying to navigate a corporate world that is laden with secrets, cleverly hidden and unspoken rules to a game that most employees don't even know that they're playing. On this podcast, we try to give you a peek behind the curtains and some tips and tricks to ultimately make you successful in your career and help you progress a little bit faster. Hello, my lovelies. This week we are chatting about executive presence. So this is a topic that I think comes up all the time in requests for content. It comes up with my clients.
(02:17):
I also see it being kind of a vague, obscure phrase that's used on the Internet, where we all talk about how everyone needs more executive presence, but there's no clarity on what that means or how that manifests in work or, frankly, how to tactically achieve it. So this week, we are jumping into executive presence. What it means, what it doesn't mean. And how you can improve it if it's an area of opportunity for you. So we'll start with kind of defining executive presence to start. So executive presence is not. We're gonna start with what it's not, because that's where my brain went. And so we're rolling with it. Love this. Okay? It is not about being louder. It is not about being more outspoken. It is not about having the right answer to every situation.
(03:07):
It is not about being the smartest person in the room. It is not about what you wear. It is not about what words you use. Okay? These are all common misconceptions. We think executive presence is wearing a suit, showing up in the meeting, talking a lot, using big corporate jargon, words that ultimately don't mean anything. I know you guys have seen all those TikToks and Instagram reels where they use an entire paragraph of buzzwords that ultimately means literally, Jack. All right, okay. People think that is what executive presence is, but it is not. I have worked for leaders who are arguably very soft spoken, who I would say have exceptional executive presence. I've worked for executives who wear T shirts to work, who have exceptional executive presence.
(04:03):
I've worked for individuals who made tons and tons of mistakes and had the wrong answers to a lot of questions and still had great executive presence. And so where people get stuck is we hear this and we think, well, if executive presence isn't all of those things, then when my boss tells me I need to work on executive presence, what the heck do I do? What does that even mean? It's like this esoteric, theoretical thing that some people are just naturally good at, right? They walked out of the womb in a three piece suit, ready to have executive presence in a boardroom in a high rise in New York with all glass windows. I don't know. That's not the way it works. I've talked about this before. I will continue to say it a million times.
(04:48):
I mention it in my upcoming book, Secrets of the Career Game. There is not a single skill that any executive has that you cannot learn full stop. People make you think that there are skills you can't learn, that you just got to be born with the ability to communicate. You got to be born with this gravitas. You got to be born with executive presence. You got to be born with. Born with. It's not true. All right, raise your hand. You don't have to raise your hand because I can't see you. Lucky you. But I thought about it, right?
(05:21):
If you Listen to my content because you think I am an effective communicator, or if you listen to my content because you think I have good executive presence, or you listen to my content because you think I'm an effective storyteller, if you listen to my content because you think I'm good at soft skills, communication, storytelling, executive presence, communication, effectively disagreeing with someone, getting you promoted, self advocacy, networking. If you listen to me for any single one of those reasons, which I would assume would be a hundred percent of you guys, because that's literally all I talk about. I was terrible at all of them. There is not a single thing that I coach that I didn't do wrong first. And I know it's unpopular to admit that we're not always an expert in our space.
(06:10):
I would argue I am an expert at soft skills and career progression coaching because I have done all the wrong things. I learned how to do the right things, and then I built a tactical playbook about how you then go forward and do those things better over the course of your career. And now I've written a literal book about how to do that. All right, so if you hear executive presence, communication, soft skills, and you think, well, I'm just, I'm not good at that. That's an extrovert thing. I'm, I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with speaking. I get nervous. I don't have great executive presence. I never will. It's not something that I can learn. You are wrong. You can learn it. And I know this because I sucked at it and I learned it.
(06:53):
And I am no smarter, no better, no more career inclined than a single person listening to this episode. You can, but you got to know what it means first. Right? So if executive presence is not communication, what you wear, how you talk, how much you talk, what jargon you're using, then we have to focus on what executive presence is. An executive presence is influence. I'll let that settle. Executive presence is having influence. Right. If you want to improve your executive presence, you need to improve your influence. Now, this can look a lot of different ways, depending on the culture of your company, depending on your level of seniority. But there are a few basics that tend to feed into this. You're going to be shocked because they're not things I talk about all the time. Just kidding. They totally are. That was sarcasm. Okay.
(07:51):
People who have a better network will have better executive presence because they're not walking into rooms with complete strangers with whom they have no rapport or with whom they don't understand their objectives. They are walking into rooms with individuals who they know. They know their backgrounds, they know what's important to them, they know what their goals are, they know what they're working on. It is much easier for that person to have high levels of influence and executive presence if they already know the people in the room. If you've ever presented to someone who's far more senior than you that you didn't have any pre existing relationship with, you probably kind of wanted to vomit a little, right? Even if you don't get stage fright. Okay.
(08:34):
Even if you don't get stage fright, even I will sometimes like get a little sweaty, get a little nervous. My voice gets a little shaky against my will. Right. Sometimes it just happens, right? And we get nervous. But by the fifth time you're presenting to that person, you already kind of know them. You know what to anticipate, what kind of questions they're going to ask, how they respond to situations. Do they like humor? Do they not like humor? Right. It gets easier over time. The reason it gets easier over time is because you have relationships with those individuals. And so it is easier for you to prepare effectively because you know what to anticipate and what to expect. Right? So influence starts with your network. Now, if you are somebody, quick side note here, asterisk.
(09:19):
If you are somebody who is building your executive presence because you want to do public speaking, obviously you're not always going to know everybody in your audience, but what you can get to know is the crowd. How does the crowd respond to certain things? What types of questions does the crowd ask? How engaged is the crowd? How long are they engaged? As you do public speaking more, you get to know your. Your audience, you build a relationship with your audience, and that's why it gets easier over time. Right. Stephen Bartlett, who is the podcast host of Diary of a CEO, he wrote a book, Diary of a CEO, highly recommend. If you've never read it, he's fabulous. I'm a big fan of his. He talks about how he hated public speaking, so he forced himself to do it.
(09:59):
That's because he was building a relationship with that audience. He was learning how to anticipate the audience. And then he went on to be an incredibly successful public speaker, arguably one of the best of our time. Very successful podcast, write a book, travel the world, all these things, right? So if you are looking to improve your executive presence, you must first focus on building relationships with your audience, with your coworkers, with your executives. Relationships will build a foundation. I've been told over the course of my career, executives feel really comfortable with me. I get that all the time. They feel really comfortable with you. And it's because I treat them like normal people and I make jokes with them and I ask them questions and I want to know about them and I'm not afraid that they're going to perceive that poorly.
(10:39):
I want that human connection that works for me. Now, maybe that doesn't work for you, and that's okay. You can build relationships in other ways. But for me, I'm the type of person where my COO could call me and be like, I think this is a dumb idea. Prove me wrong. And I'd be like, whoa, we don't have enough to do. Cool, let's pick it up. I have thoughts and we could chat and it would be super calm and super comfortable. If you have been eagerly awaiting the Secrets of the Career Game book, it is officially available for pre order. This book will go over 36 strategies for building success in your career and honestly is some of my best lessons, best templates and best ways for you to start to get the success and the progression in your career that you deserve.
(11:23):
If you do pre order the book, make sure that you email a screenshot of your Pre order to thatcareercoachmail.com in order to be added to our top secret community. In that community, you'll have access to me, as well as 2 live Q& A sessions. When the book launches, you'll also get an extra early copy with the first chapter of the book for you to read ahead, go to Amazon Find Secrets of the career game 36 Strategies for your career. Go ahead, place your pre order and send us an email. Building executive presence really means building influence and it starts with building relationships. The second piece of executive presence is not about talking more using jargon speaking the whole time, always having the right answer. Building executive presence is about asking the right questions.
(12:09):
The best leaders I've ever worked for who had the highest level of influence always asked me a question where I was like, you know what? I prepared for this for six months and I didn't even think of that. I don't answer that way, obviously in the meeting, but they ask great questions. They may not always have the answers, but they know what answers they need to make the right decisions. They know what answers they need in order to be effective. In order to ask good questions, you have to listen, right? So if you are the person presenting, obviously you're going to do a majority of the speaking. But then when they start talking about it and they start asking questions. You're going to listen for what those questions mean? What are they trying to get at? Do you need additional context?
(12:52):
When you have this kind of relationship where both parties are actively listening and asking legitimate questions, influential, impactful questions, you're going to have a better engagement and you are going to be perceived as someone with better executive presence. Right? So we build relationships and we ask the right questions, which requires listening to have enough context to ask the right questions, whether you are the presenter or the leader. All right, the third piece of building executive presence is really about portraying a sense of emotional stability. So what I mean by that is the individual who gets really upset and really defensive and really argumentative and yells and curses and does all these things is never going to be the person that somebody says, oh, they have such great executive presence. Right? You wouldn't. You didn't even know what executive presence was 12 minutes ago.
(13:50):
And yet you're like, no, that is not how I would define it. The person who can't be given constructive feedback is not the person who has great executive presence, the person who is hyper panicked. So this is something I see a lot. As you become a more senior leader, you're looped into more conversations, you know, when things are going wrong long before the rest of the organization does. And a lot of people become hyper panicked, like, this thing is going wrong, we have to fix it. And they become like, really excitable by certain news. The best people with the best executive presence are not excitable. They're there to inform you. They're there to solve problems. They are very emotionally stable. All right, so part of building executive presence is that emotional stability in the moment. That's where it's hard.
(14:36):
It's always easy for us to leave a meeting and go, you know, maybe I could have been more patient with that person. Maybe I should have asked more questions. It's always easier postmortem. But in the meeting, being prepared for different scenarios so that you can react in an effective, emotionally stable way is key. Now, one of the ways that I have clients do this is we identify our triggers at work. Everybody has them, right? We get frustrated when people miss a deadline or when somebody shows up to a meeting unprepared, or when somebody is indecisive and won't give us a decision on time. Right. I have them create what I call PMRs, proactive mitigation responses, which is, how would you like to respond when this situation arises? So that when it does, because it's gonna.
(15:17):
We have something in our back pocket that we can use that helps us not overreact. Right. We're not gonna be perfect. Give yourself a little bit of grace. Everybody has moments, but in general, how do we want to respond when these things happen? Right. If we go into a meeting, we should anticipate, what if they disagree with us? Great. What is our path forward? What is that plan? How are we gonna approach that situation? Right. Creating that emotional stability is really important because the best leaders, no matter what's going on around them, are calm, have a plan of action, and feel prepared. They ask good questions to make sure that things are on track and to align the team. And they do it with people with whom they have relationships, so they're able to get fast results and progress things forward.
(16:05):
That is what makes up executive presence. Right now, there are tangentially related components to this that I will touch on quickly because I know otherwise my entire comment section is going to blow up with. But you didn't talk about this, so let's talk about the five things that it's not and where it kind of can be. All right, so we'll start with, it's not what you wear. It's not. But if your entire company is a suit, tie, hair done, makeup done, dress, heels, company, and you're showing up in a hoodie and cargo shorts every day, your perception across the company, your brand will be different. I'm not saying it should work this way. I'm just saying that it does. If I'm going into the office, you can bet I'm dressed like I'm going into an office.
(16:54):
I used to joke, I used to work with a client who works for a company that's very casual in the workplace. Make your own assumptions about what company that is. Okay? We're talking sweatpants and a T shirt is okay. Jeans and a T shirt is okay. And I showed up to work with this client, and I remember I was in, like, a pantsuit and heels, and they were like, you're so overdressed. But I had instant respect from every person in that room in a way that I would not have had I been dressed more casually. And when the CEO came to sit with us an hour later, they were in a suit. Okay? So I'm not saying you have to dress a certain way. That's not what this whole secrets of a career game is about.
(17:34):
Trust me, it's about all kinds of different stuff. But I am saying that the perception of you is different depending on how you show Up. As a fun anecdotal side note, I have noticed that I close more sales calls when I'm dressed up. I'm not saying I have to dress up. There are days I take sales calls in a ponytail and a T shirt. I'm just saying, anecdotally, the evidence is there, right? So if you are looking to improve your executive presence and the executives with whom you're meeting are all dressed up, it's not a bad thing. It's not going to make or break you, but it's not a bad thing. Right? Second thing we're talking about is the communication piece, specifically corporate jargon. You do not have to use lots of flowery buzzwords and corporate jargon in order to be successful.
(18:14):
You will always gain more attraction when you are speaking the same language as the individuals around you. So if there are particular phrases, if there are particular goals, if there are things that are talked about excessively in your company, you would be wise to absorb that, right? I worked for an executive one. Just quick side note, who used to make up words, okay? And no, I'm not joking. This is not hyperbole. He legitimately would make up words that he thought represented ideas, okay? So people would say the word synergy, and he would make up a word that was specific to our company that also meant synergy. And that would be the big goal. And everybody would use that word in every meeting until that goal was achieved. Okay? I literally worked for an executive use to make a board, and they made sense, right?
(19:04):
I can think of one off the top of my head. And if I say it, people who work there are going to remember. But SLQ to cq, huh? That was the whole thing. Every meeting that phrase came up. I, to this day cannot even remember what it stands for. But were all rallied behind it because it was this executive's word of the year. And this is what we worked towards, okay? It is always easier to get things done if you're speaking the same language as the people around you, right? That means that if there is corporate jargon that is really common and you can start to incorporate it in a meaningful way, it will help you. Now, do you need to say circle back at the end of every meeting? No.
(19:39):
Do you need to say, let's put a pin in that every single meeting? No. Those are annoying. They serve no purpose. Okay? But if there are big objectives that you have that your company is aiming towards, that you can start to incorporate, you will be more successful in what you're trying to achieve. So While communication is not going to make or break you, this corporate jargon is not going to make or break you. It can be helpful. The third piece is you don't have to talk more to have more executive presence. And in fact, when were talking about executive presence, I mentioned listening more, not talking more. Talking more does not always exude confidence or exude knowledge. In fact, a lot of the time it can undermine you in a lot of ways. But you do have to speak.
(20:17):
So there is a line when it comes to executive presence where we're too quiet too often and we start to lose traction. An example of this would be if you are a senior leader on a meeting, there are 20 people and you don't speak in that meeting, but you meet with those same group of people five times that week. And it just so happens that you end up not speaking on any of those meetings. That can hurt your reputation and your brand. Now, I am not a fan of the like, thanks guys for joining at the end of every call, just to make sure you spoke. It's not going to recommend that. It's not my fave. Or they're like, hey guys, how was your weekend? At the start of every call. I mean, I do love that. That's honestly really good. Building rapport.
(20:57):
But you do need to speak up to ask questions. You do need to speak up to show emotional stability. You do need to speak up to build better relationships. The three components of executive presence require speaking. They don't require being the person who speaks the most. So if you're introverted, you can still have exceptional, in fact usually better executive presence with balance. Okay, so these are some of the components when it comes to building that executive presence. I would also recommend if this is an area of improvement for you, I want you to identify people in your company, maybe two to three, that you're like, wow, that's how I want to show up in meetings. That's who I want to be. Like, they have executive presence that I respect, they have influence that I respect.
(21:43):
And then I want you to ask at least one of them to be your mentor and for them to give you advice. Because the best way to learn is to have that two way communication with somebody who's doing the thing that you want. I would definitely recommend making sure that you're building those relationships. Also, the more exposure you get to that person, the more you're going to see what they're doing, the more you're going to absorb that like a sponge. And the more you're going to Apply it to your career, all of which are great things, right? So identify those people who are doing really well, ask them for mentorship, and then work with your boss to make clear goals around some of this.
(22:13):
Because it's such a nebulous topic, people tend to be like, well, I'm going to work on my soft skills or I'm going to work on my communication. And we create goals around that. If executive presence is your goal, make a networking goal, make a meeting presence goal that your boss is going to help you measure and really focus on how you're going to improve those tactics. The one last thing that I'll mention on executive presence is the easiest way to tank your executive presence is to be too detailed. It is the fastest way torpedo what you're trying to build. The reason I say this is I work with a lot of technically proficient people, right? Analysts, marketers, developers, engineers, scientists.
(22:57):
And because we are so close to the information, because we work so close to the details, because we want everyone to know that we did our job, we tend to jump way into the weeds and give all this information that ultimately is probably not super relevant. We overwhelm the audience and we decrease that executive presence because it looks like that emotional stability is lower and it looks like our ability to ask good questions is lower, right? So if you're really trying to improve this skill, focus on how you start things, how you start communications. Everything should start with context setting. Here's the problem statement, the objective that we're trying to achieve at a high level. Here's what we've done and what we're sharing with you today and what we're going to walk you through. Here is the summary of what we did.
(23:47):
If you are asked, you should have supporting details that you can rely on, especially if you're an individual contributor or more junior in your career. But you need to start high level. This is where it can set you sideways so fast. I'll give a quick example. If I wanted to open a yoga studio. I don't yoga, by the way, can't even touch my toes. If I wanted to open a yoga studio and I said, I'm going to present to you guys today my business case for my yoga studio, ideally I would have 312 members. Really?
(24:16):
This is because if I look at the membership fee, which would be about $89, and I multiply that by that membership rate and I subtract my fixed costs and some of my variable costs, at that point I'd really be achieving a run rate of about fifteen hundred dollars a month, which would be enough to pay myself a salary and at least to hire a general manager. But then really I've also got to think about expansion. So long term, I've looked at these other markets where I'd be able to expand additional studios and be able to open additional locations. I really feel like that might be a long term plan, but we're not there yet. We probably got about 12 months before we start talking about those.
(24:43):
So if we back up, I really want to make sure that we have all the things in place to open my studio and so on, versus someone who is starting at a high level who says, today we're here to discuss my desire to open a yoga studio. The problem that we're facing is twofold. One, we're trying to permeate a market that is relatively already saturated with other studios. So we need to be able to create a unique brand that allows us to market effectively. And second, we need to get to a break even cost point as quickly as possible. Having run the numbers for both in order to establish ourselves as a unique brand, I want us to start with a single location with a plan to expand to three locations in the next 12 months.
(25:26):
With this branding in place, then in order to hit our break even analysis in the timeline we need, our goal is to sign 312 people before the first 90 days are up in our current location. In order to do this effectively, here are the next steps that we would need to follow. Which one of those sounds better? Theoretically, I covered the exact same information in both of those spiels. One of them went straight to the details and the other one set context, set a problem statement, set an objective, had clarity, same details to support it, different delivery. Hopefully you guys found this helpful. Executive presence is one of my favorite topics because it is so nuanced and it is so specific to each person.
(26:10):
But these are the main three pillars plus a fourth bonus that I gave you that make up building that Executive Presence. If you're interested in learning more about how to do this, I highly recommend joining my Career Campus Boot Camp. Career Game Boot Camp. We're try that again. If you're interested in learning more about how to build your executive presence and how to do these things, I highly recommend joining my career Game bootcamp. It is a three month intensive. It's got coaching support. We're going to cover a lot of these topics and it's going to help you show up at work better. If you're interested in that, there is a link to book a call below to get you started.
(26:42):
Otherwise, if you like today's episode, go ahead and give us five stars and leave any comments below for me and I will get back to you guys. Otherwise, check back in next week for another amazing episode.
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