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May 6, 2025 41 mins
This week on Sex With Emily, we're tackling one of the most harmful and outdated questions in modern dating: "What's your body count?" In conversation with holistic psychologist and trauma expert Dr. Scott Lyons, we explore the troubling origins of this term, once used to count military casualties, and how it’s been repurposed to judge sexual history, often unfairly targeting women. We unpack the double standards rooted in purity culture, the insecurities this question provokes, and the shame it can breed in both high and low numbers. More importantly, we discuss why the number of sexual partners has nothing to do with sexual skill, emotional readiness, or compatibility. #intimacy #love #relationships Timestamps: 00:00:00 - Body Count: A Sex-Positive Discussion 00:03:00 - Judging Past Relationships 05:51 - Body Count & Insecurities 08:24 - Why Judging is Wrong 10:46:38 - Historical Shame Roots 13:22 - Societal Shame & Body Count 15:47 - Regrets & Sexual Experiences 18:13 - Reframing the Conversation 22:44:04 - Ditching the Question 25:38 - Addressing Relationship Insecurities 37:53 - Pleasure, Goodbyes & Outro If you’re 21+, try VIIA! For 15% off AND a free gift with your first order go to ⁠https://viia.co/EMILY⁠ and use code EMILY! #viiapartner Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. Join the SmartSX Membership : ⁠⁠https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides:⁠⁠ https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ ⁠⁠ SHOP WITH EMILY!: ⁠⁠https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ ⁠⁠ (free shipping on orders over $99)Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: ⁠⁠https://sexwithemily.com/⁠⁠ Let’s get social: Instagram ⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/⁠⁠ X ⁠⁠https://twitter.com/sexwithemily⁠⁠ Facebook ⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily⁠⁠ TikTok ⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily ⁠⁠ Threads ⁠⁠https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily ⁠⁠ Let’s text: Sign up here ⁠⁠https://sexwithemily.com/text ⁠ Full show notes: ⁠
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