Introspection as a Career Strategy: Wayfinding Without a Map

This episode gets a bit personal! Rediscovering a 12-year-old journal unexpectedly transformed my understanding of the work I do now. For weeks, I found myself immersed in the pages of my younger self's thoughts, witnessing my struggles to define personal and professional goals while questioning if I even deserved to have them. What struck me most was seeing the ongoing dialogue I maintained with myself—a practice of brutal honesty and introspection that ultimately helped me bridge the gap between who I was and who I wanted to become.

This experience reinforced that the foundation of my approach in K to R Essentials—what one graduate aptly called "guided introspection"—stems directly from my personal journey. 

We often lie to ourselves about what we truly want or how we really feel, which creates misalignment between our actions and aspirations. Through my work with women faculty transitioning from NIH K Awards to R01 grants, I've seen how cultivating this relationship with yourself becomes a powerful differentiator. In our noisy world filled with constant demands and distractions, taking time to be in genuine dialogue with yourself isn't just beneficial—it's essential. Whether through journaling, meditation, or simply creating quiet space to listen to your own thoughts, developing this practice can provide the clarity needed to design a sustainable research career that's meaningful to you while securing the funding to make your work possible. 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Significant Impact podcast, the
show dedicated to helping womenfaculty convert their NIH Career
Development Award into theirfirst big R01.
This period in your career issuch an important turning point,
and it's a crucial opportunityto design the kind of research
career that really works for youso that you're able to write
and lead these big,career-fueling research project

(00:24):
grants.
It's not easy to figure outwhat you really want when you
have so many different voices inyour ear telling you what to do
and how to do it, but it ispossible to design a career
that's fulfilling and meaningfulto you while also securing
enough grant funding to sustainyour lab and make an impact with
your research.
That's what we're talking abouthere on Significant Impact,

(00:46):
with me, sarah Dobson, nih grantconsultant and academic career
coach.
Tune in for an honest look atwhat it really takes to be
successful in the world of NIHgrant funding.
Start thinking differentlyabout what an academic career
looks like, one that's driven bypurpose and curiosity and a
healthy dose of disruptiveenergy.
So a couple of months ago, Iwas shocked that I was able to

(01:32):
recover this document, and so Iended up going through and
pretty much reading the wholething, and I wanted to talk
about that today.
Obviously, in broad strokes,I'm not going to read you my
diary or anything, but I wantedto talk about what I discovered

(01:55):
and how it relates to what I'mdoing and the work that we do
together inside K to REssentials.
And I know that this episode isa little bit different from
what we normally talk aboutbecause it is a bit more

(02:19):
personal, but I think it's sorelevant to what we do and I
wanted to bring this angle intoit, because what was so
fascinating about discoveringthis journal and rereading it
was that I could see the seedsof the work that I am doing now,

(02:46):
and so I want to talk a littlebit more about what that is.
So you know, 12-ish years ago Iwas in a very different place.
I was really struggling tofigure out what I wanted, both

(03:08):
personally and professionally.
I was doing a lot of therapyand that is a lot of what showed
up in my journal.
So I was writing in thisjournal pretty much every day,
often multiple times a day, andreally grappling with big
questions about what I want formyself and the goals that I have

(03:34):
and do I even have a right tohave these goals?
And then the flip side of that,which is the disappointments
that I was experiencing andgrappling with all of these
disappointments, and what Ithink is most important about

(03:56):
all of that was the way that Iwas in dialogue with myself,
like I was really having aconversation with myself in
writing for years and doing mybest to make sense of who I am

(04:17):
as a person and who I want to be, and the delta between who I am
at the moment and who I want tobe, both in terms of my
character and my aspirations andmy achievements, and it I mean,

(04:39):
let me tell you I was so movedby reading all of this again.
I was in a weird kind of funkfor probably two full weeks, I
would say, you know, going backand rereading this journal just
in part, I think, recognizinghow far I'd come, but also just

(05:04):
having so much compassion andsadness for this person and
where she was and what she wasgrappling with.
But, like I said, I saw in thatdialogue that I was having with
myself the seeds of the workthat I do now.

(05:25):
So one former student, agraduate of K-R Essentials,
described what we do in theprogram as guided introspection,
and I really obviously saw alot of that introspection in the

(05:47):
journal, in the posts that Iwas putting in this journal, and
what I realized in rereadingall of that was how important it
was, of course, for me backthen to be introspective and to

(06:08):
really confront myself and behonest with myself and really
deal with some big, scary things.
But just that process of beingintrospective and and being
honest has allowed me toobviously better understand

(06:32):
myself but be a lot morecompassionate with myself, and
that in turn has allowed me toaccomplish all of those things
that I was struggling with backthen.
And so what I realized inrereading all of that was I am

(06:58):
bringing a lot of thatself-inquiry, that dialogue,
into what we do in the programbecause of how important it was
for me.
And that's not to say that I amencouraging anybody in K-R

(07:23):
Essentials to air their dirtylaundry or confront their demons
in a group setting.
That's not it at all.
But I think the piece that isreally important is the honesty
and the work of getting reallyhonest with yourself.

(07:43):
In the case of the work thatwe're doing, it's being honest
with yourself about yourcapacity, about your willingness
to do a particular piece ofwork or engage with a particular
colleague on a project.
It's getting really honestabout your aspirations, about
your goals, about the impactthat you want to have, and not

(08:05):
shying away from your ambition.
It is being honest withyourself in order to communicate
well with your colleagues.
Everybody understands what isgoing on, and that honesty is so

(08:31):
crucial, and I think it'sreally easy to be dishonest, to
lie to ourselves about what isreally going on, how we're
really feeling, what our goalsand ambitions really are, and so
it's vital to take the time toactually sit down and be in

(08:54):
dialogue with yourself andreally develop that relationship
with yourself, and I know,obviously, how helpful it is for
me.
But one of the things that Ihear over and over again from
graduates of the program is thatthey are taking that practice
with them after they completetheir time in the program.

(09:19):
They are regularly going torevisit their North Star, they
are regularly going to check inwith themselves.
They are regularly going torevisit their North Star.
They are regularly going tocheck in with themselves.
They are regularly going tocelebrate wins and successes,
because they also recognize howvaluable it is to be
introspective, to be in dialoguewith yourself and to really

(09:40):
develop that relationship withyourself.
And so I just want to leave youwith that.
Today, this strange littlecoincidence, I suppose that I
came across this journal thatspanned a really turbulent time

(10:05):
in my life and, looking back,really informed the work that I
do today and who I am today.
So if I can leave you with apiece of advice which, of course
, as always, you can take orleave it's to find a way to be

(10:26):
in dialogue with yourself,whether that's keeping a journal
, whether that's meditating,whether that's just finding
quiet and space to really hearyourself.
I think that that is soimportant.
Especially in the times we arein, where we are bombarded with

(10:52):
news and information and speedand all kinds of demands and
responsibilities.
It is so important to carve outthat time to be with yourself
and to really be able to hearwhat it is that you are saying.

(11:13):
So that is it for this week, myfriends.
I will see you next time.
Thanks for listening to thisepisode of significant impact
Impact from K Award to yourfirst big R01.
If you want to dig deeper intowhat we learned today and move a
significant step closer to asmooth K-R transition, visit

(11:34):
sarahdobsonco slash pod andcheck out all the free stuff we
have to help you do just that.
Don't forget to subscribe tothe show to make sure you hear
new episodes as soon as they'rereleased, and if today's episode
made you think of a colleagueor a friend, please tell them
about it.
Tune in next time and thanksagain for listening.
Thank you,