You Can't Do It Alone: Finding Your People During the K to R Transition

Have you ever tried to navigate a major life change completely on your own? As someone who once proudly wore the "I'll figure it out myself" badge, I've learned through experience that community isn't just helpful during transitions—it's absolutely essential.

This episode explores the transformative power of finding your people during the K to R transition. Drawing from my personal journey as a business owner who reluctantly discovered the value of community, I share how a small group of women entrepreneurs became the catalyst for growth I never anticipated. The vulnerability that once made me nervous became the doorway to unprecedented progress when shared in a safe, supportive environment.

I share how finding the right support network transformed my professional journey and why it's critical during the K to R transition.

• Creating safe spaces for vulnerability allows us to openly discuss uncertainties and setbacks without judgment
• Having diverse sounding boards provides fresh perspectives and solutions we wouldn't discover alone
• Receiving encouragement and solidarity from others who understand your journey is motivational fuel
• Regular check-ins with people who know your goals combats the isolation of leadership
• Community provides continuity and consistency during turbulent transition periods

Find ways to create your own support community - it doesn't need to be formal, but it needs to be consistent. You cannot do this alone, and the right community will accelerate your growth in ways you cannot imagine.

Episode Transcript

Sarah Dobson (00:01):
Today I want to talk about community.
I want to talk about theimportance of building and
maintaining community during theK-R transition, and I'm
actually going to start out byusing myself as an example, not
in the sense of the K-Rtransition specifically, but in

(00:21):
the sense that I started out asa baby business owner many, many
years ago and years later havebeen a member of a community of
other women business owners inthe academic space, and that has
allowed me to grow in ways thatI never could have anticipated,

(00:44):
and so I want to talk a littlebit about that first, before I
talk more specifically about howI see it as being useful for
anybody who is navigating theK-R transition.
And I think it's important tobring up my experience here as
well, because I am not reallythe type of person who seeks

(01:07):
support or guidance, and or atleast I didn't used to be I was
the type of person who very muchbelieved that I could figure it
out on my own and would feelashamed or embarrassed,
admitting that I didn't know howto do something or that you
know if something had gone wrong.
I didn't want to open up aboutthat, but my experience in this

(01:30):
group of other academic,adjacent business owners has
really shown me what isavailable to me in terms of
support and solidarity andencouragement, and I feel so
incredibly grateful to have hadthat over the last five, six

(01:52):
years.
And I mean, I suspect you knowof some of the members of this
group.
They all have their ownpodcasts as well and are running
very successful businesses, butbeing in a small group where we
can share anything that isgoing on in our lives, in our

(02:12):
businesses in particular, hasjust been so enormously helpful,
and I just wanted to talk aboutthe ways that it has been
helpful and how I see parallelsin the ways that it can be
useful for you as you navigatethe K-R transition.
So again, I am typically thetype of person who suffers in

(02:35):
silence, the type of person whojust tries to figure it out on
my own, and so even just the actof bringing a challenge to the
table and admitting thatsomething isn't going as planned
felt initially like a growthpoint for me.
That was a big deal for me tosay I tried something and it
didn't work and I'm not surewhat to do next, and just

(02:57):
allowing myself to be vulnerablein that way and to recognize
that I'm not perfect, I don'talways know what I'm doing and
that admitting that is not afailure and that it can be held
and supported in ways that Ididn't really even know that I

(03:18):
needed until I started doing it.
So that's the first one is justhaving a safe, supportive space
to be vulnerable.
That is hugely important,especially when you are
navigating uncertainty, when youare trying out new things that
you've never done before and youtruly have no clue how they're

(03:41):
going to go or what's going tohappen.
Just being able to share yourworries, your insecurities and,
ultimately, the disappointmentsthat you experience, and for it
not to be a big deal or a majordisaster.
It's just.
You know it happens toeverybody.
It really does sort ofnormalize those experiences

(04:04):
because they are normal.
You're never going to geteverything right.
It's not a linear path.
There are a lot of twists andturns, a lot of disappointments
and setbacks, and being able toshare those openly and frankly
in a space where you aren'tjudged for that is just so
valuable and really, reallyencouraging.

(04:26):
So that, I think, is one of thekey features of community.
For anybody who's navigatinguncertainty, navigating a big
career transition, is justhaving a space to be able to
talk things through withoutjudgment.
But then the sort of addedpiece of that around talking

(04:48):
things through is to just have asounding board, to have a group
of people who have differentexperiences, different levels of
expertise, different insightsinto your situation and can act
as that sounding board for you.
So, again, if you're able tocome into a group with
vulnerability and say, I'm notreally sure about this, can I

(05:12):
talk it out with you, how mightthis go?
And just kind of laying it allout there on the table and
having other people provideinsight, perspective, their own
experience trying somethingsimilar, that is just again so
valuable and you can gain somuch from the ways that the

(05:33):
other community membersencourage you to think
differently or examine somethingfrom a new perspective.
I think that is also incrediblyvaluable in this small community

(05:53):
that I have been a part of isjust the encouragement, the
solidarity.
We're all going through roughlythe same thing.
We all have our own uniqueexperience with it, based on,
you know, the businesses that werun and our own personalities,
but we're all trying to achieveroughly the same thing in our

(06:17):
own way and just being able tocome to a space and be
encouraged and celebrated forthat is so necessary, I think,
for anyone's success.
It's one thing to learn how tocelebrate yourself and I really
do think that we can all do abetter job at celebrating

(06:40):
ourselves and encouragingourselves but knowing that you
have other people around you whogenuinely want you to succeed
and who are cheering you on tosucceed is so necessary.
And then, on the just thesolidarity side, knowing that
others are going through thesame thing and are having their

(07:02):
own ups and downs, and thatyou're able to support and
encourage them through theirtrials and tribulations, that is
a way to really strengthenthose bonds and strengthen that
community and build that feelingof we're all in this together.
And I think the last thing,perhaps the most obvious one, is

(07:23):
just having other people inyour world to know what is going
on.
And I know that sounds a bittrite perhaps, but it can feel
really isolating when you aretrying to build something that
is important to you, when youare the leader and making

(07:45):
important decisions you knowwe've talked about having
sounding board and havingsupport and encouragement but
even just somebody or a group ofpeople who are familiar with
what is going on for you on aregular cadence right, you might
meet weekly, you might meetevery other week, you might meet

(08:08):
monthly, but there is aconsistency there and a
continuity there that is reallysupportive, just having people
who know what's going on withyou and who know what you are
trying to build and who check inon you.
That really combats thatisolation that is so easy to

(08:32):
fall into when you are buildingsomething as a leader and you
are, at least in the beginning,very often doing it on your own.
That is really what I wanted toshare today, really as a love
letter to the community of womenthat I have been so lucky to be
a part of over the last severalyears, but also as

(08:56):
encouragement to all of you togo out and build those
communities for yourself.
They don't have to be formal.
In fact, this small group thatI'm in is incredibly informal
and we ended up coming togethersort of haphazardly, but it has
been a touchpoint for all of usover the years and that

(09:19):
consistency, that continuity,has been so meaningful, I think,
not just for me, but foreverybody in the group, and so I
really encourage you to firstof all just consider what type
of community you want to buildfor yourself, to support you as
you are making this K-Rtransition and then think about

(09:43):
how you can go about buildingthat, because you cannot do it
alone.
And please take this fromsomebody who really did try.
In the beginning, I reallytried to just do it on my own,
but I really believe that thereis absolutely no way that I
would be where I am todaywithout that group, without that

(10:05):
support, without that abilityto lean on these other women for
support and encouragement andideas and continuity and
consistency.
So please find a way to createthat for yourselves and just
watch how quickly you grow.
All right, my friends.

(10:27):
That is it for this week.
I will see you next time.