August 7, 2024 • 6 mins
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In today’s podcast episode, we’re going to talk about 6 life lessons that I wish I knew sooner, and I’m going to share with you the unfiltered truths I’ve learned so far.
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Disclaimer: All podcast episodes are for educational purposes only and are not intended as a substitute for treatment, diagnosis, or consultation with a licensed mental health provider.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast,
where we talk about how to create a life you won’t need an escape from! I’m Coach Simona,
author of the book “111 Ways to Simplify Your Life”, and I’m glad you decided to tune in!
In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to share with you 6 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.
(00:21):
Now, let's jump straight into it.
The first life lesson is that You’re not that important
There’s a cognitive bias called The spotlight effect.
The spotlight effect is a phenomenon in which people tend to believe they
are being noticed more than they really are. For example, when you take things personally,
you feel offended or hurt by things that most likely have nothing to do with you.
Your ego likes to make up these stories about yourself where you’re the center of attention and everyone
(00:46):
is out there to get you, they’re trying to hurt you, or planning these elaborate
ways to cause you harm. So let’s talk about this narrative that’s, frankly, not true.
Taking things personally means you’re having a strong inner monologue and you’re believing
stories about yourself and other people that have nothing to do with reality.
I wish I knew the idea of being not that important, especially in my teenage years and
early 20s, when I felt very insecure. I spent a ridiculous amount of time worrying and focusing on
(01:11):
my internal struggles, instead of realizing that there was no point in taking things personally
because I wasn't that important.
The second life lesson I wish I knew sooner is that Even the
most talented person can’t beat the hard worker
Growing up, I used to rely on my talent and charm, and had to work on improving
my productivity and work ethic. It took me a while to realize that hard work, efficiency,
(01:34):
and showing up for myself were actually values that were way more aligned with me.
There are numerous examples of people who made it because they put themselves out there,
not because they were good at it in the beginning. And there are numerous examples
of truly talented people who gave up quickly and didn’t achieve what they truly wanted.
Achieving success is not about having talent. It's
about constantly putting in the work and not giving up when it gets hard.
(01:56):
Not working hard on the things that are important to you often has something to do
not showing up for yourself. If that’s something that you’d like to work on,
I recommend watching my video on this topic on my YouTube channel at:
youtube.com/coachsimona
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner is that Self-confidence is a state of mind
I used to think that by doing external things I could enhance my self-confidence and
(02:19):
I also relied on external validation to feel good about myself. But the truth is that
self-confidence can’t be achieved from the outside, it has to come from the inside.
So what do I mean by saying that self-confidence is a state of mind? The way you perceive yourself
has a direct link to the way you talk, the way you walk, and act in social situations.
Let me give you an example. Ley's say you’re on a date with this cute guy. If you think you’re ugly,
(02:41):
stupid, or don’t deserve to be with them, you’re going to act in a self-sabotaging
way by saying awkward things or looking down instead of looking them straight in the eye.
And if you perceive yourself as a confident person, you’re
going to act accordingly. You’ll smile, show up unapologetically,
and enjoy the conversation instead of getting fixated on your inner monologue.
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I’ve created a free masterclass called “3 Confidence
(03:04):
Secrets Every Woman Needs to Know”. If you want to register now, just click the first link in the
description box below or head over to:
coachsimona.com/masterclass
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner is to Aim to become 1% better
It’s great to have a clear vision of the future and know exactly who you want to become,
but sometimes you might put too much pressure on yourself. Over the years, I’ve realized that it’s
(03:26):
better to aim to become 1% better instead of trying to ace things every single time.
For example, let’s say you want to become a better YouTuber. Instead of aiming to make the best video
ever uploaded on the Internet, you can choose to iterate one thing and make it 1% better. One time,
you could work on a better thumbnail, then a better hook, better editing, etc.
Or let’s say you have this big goal of
(03:47):
writing a book. If you choose to do 1 % more of what’s
bringing you closer to that goal (which is to write at least 100 words per day),
these things will accumulate in time, and if you’re consistent with your new habits,
you will achieve your goal.Which brings me to the fifth
life lesson I wish I knew sooner which is to realize that Perfectionism is a waste of your time
As a perfectionist in recovery, I know how easy it could be to want to just tweak “one
(04:10):
more thing” or change “just one more detail”. But the truth is
that perfectionism is holding you back from achieving the things that you want.
Think about it (04:16):
wouldn’t it be better to spend your time and energy on things that
actually move the needle in your business than trying to get everything perfect? Which btw,
is impossible and extremely subjective.
One more thing (04:27):
perfectionism is not only a waste of your time;
it’s dependent on your mood and outlook on life that day. I’ve found that when I
haven’t slept enough or I’ve been having a tough day, I’m way more prone to obsess
over minor details than if I’m in a good mood and not fixated on things that don’t matter.
Sometimes perfectionism is a sign of a repressed part of you that you don’t
(04:48):
want to really admit exists, also known as your shadow self. I’ve created
a free cheat sheet on how to get to know your shadow self. If you want to download it,
just click the link in the description box below or head over to:
coachsimona.com/shadow
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner is that The
choices you make now will determine your future
There’s this amazing quote that says:
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
(05:12):
One of the things I struggled with the most was delayed gratification. I wanted for things to
happen as fast as possible and dreaded the idea of having to wait for the desired outcomes.
What I’ve learned especially in the past few years,
is that if you make hard choices in the present moment, your future self will thank you for it.
It might be difficult to work up the courage to do something brave or something
you’ve never done before, but that’s the only way to grow and evolve as a person.
(05:36):
For me personally, loving myself and taking care of my needs was
something I had an incredibly hard time doing. I used to dread spending
time with myself and preferred putting everybody else’s needs before my own.
It took a lot of time to realize that if I wanted to truly show up for others,
I had to learn how to love and accept myself first.
That’s why I created The Self-Love Toolkit. It’s my proven step-by-step
(05:57):
framework that will help you learn how to love yourself unconditionally. If you want
learn more, click the link in the description box below or head over to:
www.theselflovetoolkit.com
Thanks so much for tuning in! If you enjoyed this podcast episode,
please like it, subscribe, and I’ll see you in the next one!
Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast,
where we talk about how to create a life you won’t need an escape from! I’m Coach Simona,
author of the book “111 Ways to Simplify Your Life”, and I’m glad you decided to tune in!
In today’s podcast episode, I’m going to share with you 6 life lessons I wish I knew sooner.
(00:21):
Now, let's jump straight into it.
The first life lesson is that You’re not that important
There’s a cognitive bias called The spotlight effect.
The spotlight effect is a phenomenon in which people tend to believe they
are being noticed more than they really are. For example, when you take things personally,
you feel offended or hurt by things that most likely have nothing to do with you.
Your ego likes to make up these stories about yourself where you’re the center of attention and everyone
(00:46):
is out there to get you, they’re trying to hurt you, or planning these elaborate
ways to cause you harm. So let’s talk about this narrative that’s, frankly, not true.
Taking things personally means you’re having a strong inner monologue and you’re believing
stories about yourself and other people that have nothing to do with reality.
I wish I knew the idea of being not that important, especially in my teenage years and
early 20s, when I felt very insecure. I spent a ridiculous amount of time worrying and focusing on
(01:11):
my internal struggles, instead of realizing that there was no point in taking things personally
because I wasn't that important.
The second life lesson I wish I knew sooner is that Even the
most talented person can’t beat the hard worker
Growing up, I used to rely on my talent and charm, and had to work on improving
my productivity and work ethic. It took me a while to realize that hard work, efficiency,
(01:34):
and showing up for myself were actually values that were way more aligned with me.
There are numerous examples of people who made it because they put themselves out there,
not because they were good at it in the beginning. And there are numerous examples
of truly talented people who gave up quickly and didn’t achieve what they truly wanted.
Achieving success is not about having talent. It's
about constantly putting in the work and not giving up when it gets hard.
(01:56):
Not working hard on the things that are important to you often has something to do
not showing up for yourself. If that’s something that you’d like to work on,
I recommend watching my video on this topic on my YouTube channel at:
youtube.com/coachsimona
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner is that Self-confidence is a state of mind
I used to think that by doing external things I could enhance my self-confidence and
(02:19):
I also relied on external validation to feel good about myself. But the truth is that
self-confidence can’t be achieved from the outside, it has to come from the inside.
So what do I mean by saying that self-confidence is a state of mind? The way you perceive yourself
has a direct link to the way you talk, the way you walk, and act in social situations.
Let me give you an example. Ley's say you’re on a date with this cute guy. If you think you’re ugly,
(02:41):
stupid, or don’t deserve to be with them, you’re going to act in a self-sabotaging
way by saying awkward things or looking down instead of looking them straight in the eye.
And if you perceive yourself as a confident person, you’re
going to act accordingly. You’ll smile, show up unapologetically,
and enjoy the conversation instead of getting fixated on your inner monologue.
If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I’ve created a free masterclass called “3 Confidence
(03:04):
Secrets Every Woman Needs to Know”. If you want to register now, just click the first link in the
description box below or head over to:
coachsimona.com/masterclass
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner is to Aim to become 1% better
It’s great to have a clear vision of the future and know exactly who you want to become,
but sometimes you might put too much pressure on yourself. Over the years, I’ve realized that it’s
(03:26):
better to aim to become 1% better instead of trying to ace things every single time.
For example, let’s say you want to become a better YouTuber. Instead of aiming to make the best video
ever uploaded on the Internet, you can choose to iterate one thing and make it 1% better. One time,
you could work on a better thumbnail, then a better hook, better editing, etc.
Or let’s say you have this big goal of
(03:47):
writing a book. If you choose to do 1 % more of what’s
bringing you closer to that goal (which is to write at least 100 words per day),
these things will accumulate in time, and if you’re consistent with your new habits,
you will achieve your goal.Which brings me to the fifth
life lesson I wish I knew sooner which is to realize that Perfectionism is a waste of your time
As a perfectionist in recovery, I know how easy it could be to want to just tweak “one
(04:10):
more thing” or change “just one more detail”. But the truth is
that perfectionism is holding you back from achieving the things that you want.
Think about it (04:16):
wouldn’t it be better to spend your time and energy on things that
actually move the needle in your business than trying to get everything perfect? Which btw,
is impossible and extremely subjective.
One more thing (04:27):
perfectionism is not only a waste of your time;
it’s dependent on your mood and outlook on life that day. I’ve found that when I
haven’t slept enough or I’ve been having a tough day, I’m way more prone to obsess
over minor details than if I’m in a good mood and not fixated on things that don’t matter.
Sometimes perfectionism is a sign of a repressed part of you that you don’t
(04:48):
want to really admit exists, also known as your shadow self. I’ve created
a free cheat sheet on how to get to know your shadow self. If you want to download it,
just click the link in the description box below or head over to:
coachsimona.com/shadow
The next life lesson I wish I knew sooner is that The
choices you make now will determine your future
There’s this amazing quote that says:
“Hard choices, easy life. Easy choices, hard life.”
(05:12):
One of the things I struggled with the most was delayed gratification. I wanted for things to
happen as fast as possible and dreaded the idea of having to wait for the desired outcomes.
What I’ve learned especially in the past few years,
is that if you make hard choices in the present moment, your future self will thank you for it.
It might be difficult to work up the courage to do something brave or something
you’ve never done before, but that’s the only way to grow and evolve as a person.
(05:36):
For me personally, loving myself and taking care of my needs was
something I had an incredibly hard time doing. I used to dread spending
time with myself and preferred putting everybody else’s needs before my own.
It took a lot of time to realize that if I wanted to truly show up for others,
I had to learn how to love and accept myself first.
That’s why I created The Self-Love Toolkit. It’s my proven step-by-step
(05:57):
framework that will help you learn how to love yourself unconditionally. If you want
learn more, click the link in the description box below or head over to:
www.theselflovetoolkit.com
Thanks so much for tuning in! If you enjoyed this podcast episode,
please like it, subscribe, and I’ll see you in the next one!
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