April 28, 2025 • 10 mins
Have you noticed how tightly we cling to certainty, even when the evidence says otherwise?
This episode explores the hidden power of embracing uncertainty. From Galileo to Einstein, history shows that breakthroughs often come when we admit we do not have all the answers. Our mental maps help us navigate life, but true growth happens when we dare to revise them.
By getting comfortable with the unknown, we unlock a rare strength: intellectual flexibility. It is not about giving up on truth. It is about staying open, humble, and ready to learn.
Ready to walk into the darkness with me? New episodes drop every Monday.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What in life deserves our time and attention and what
things don't.
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives
just a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
Humanity likes to fool itselfinto thinking it knows the world
(00:29):
it lives in, but we don't.
We are surrounded by darknessso thick that even the light we
shine doesn't go very far.
But there's a kind of comfortthat we can take from living in
the darkness, because that samedarkness gives us permission to
stop thinking so hard about whatis and what isn't.
(00:50):
There's this fixation we haveon knowing things with certainty
.
We want to know everything.
We want to know the future.
We want to know how things work.
We want to know why we exist.
We want to know if there is apurpose to our lives.
We're insatiable for knowledge,partly because we're inherently
(01:13):
curious creatures, but alsobecause we're afraid of the dark
.
There's not an answer foreverything, and if there is,
that answer is not alwaysavailable to us.
If there is, that answer is notalways available to us.
Not knowing things is auniversal pain point endured by
all of humanity.
That pain is compounded whenyou have the ability, like we do
(01:34):
, to learn so much.
To some extent, we can evenpredict what the future may hold
, good or bad, and this giftcomes from our capacity to
imagine.
But unfortunately, that samegift increases our capacity for
distress, as we can imaginenegatives as well as positives.
When left without answers tothings that are important to us,
(01:56):
the negative tends to win out,and our imagination feeds our
discomfort.
But why are we so drawn toknowing?
Knowing things is almost like adrug to us, and I'm not talking
about the pursuit of knowledge,but rather the fixation on
becoming so convinced of a thingthat we can treat it as fact.
The only real facts in life arethings we observe, and even
(02:20):
then, if having observed a thingis the litmus test for fact,
then a crazy person'shallucinations are in fact fact.
So maybe the only thing we cantruly say we know is that which
we've experienced.
So, all that being said, wetruly live in darkness.
It is our imagination and ourbest guesses that fill the world
(02:44):
around us.
In order to move through theworld, we have to imagine how
that world functions, or anotherway of putting it is that we
need to develop a paradigm thateffectively offers us a map to
help guide our actions.
Over time, we get socomfortable with the map that
we've created that when some newinformation does not validate
(03:07):
the map, we often choose tothrow it out, because we would
otherwise have to figure out howto rewrite our internal
paradigm or map all over again.
Every time we have toreorganize our whole way of
thinking about the world.
It makes us confront the factthat we do not actually know the
world and that in truth, we sitin darkness.
(03:29):
Once we have a new paradigm ormap, it helps fill us with
confidence again by making usfeel like we know how things
work, because most of the timethe map we have will take us to
the right place.
The problem we run into is thatno one has created the perfect
map, and the more rigidly theystick to the map that they have
(03:52):
built for themselves, the morepainful it is for them to have
it shattered by new information.
I think most of us have beenmoving through life using really
crappy maps.
We think the world operates oneway, but in truth it operates
very differently.
If we want to move through lifein a way that makes the most of
it.
(04:12):
Learning to revise our mapconstantly is absolutely
necessary.
What usually happens in life iswhen we are little, our map is
extremely basic Mom is good andeveryone else is not so good.
Stay with mom is our earliestparadigm.
When we get a little older, ourparadigm, or map, shifts a
(04:36):
little more.
It may be a little more complexnow.
Maybe now our map tells us thatmom and dad are good and when I
do certain things I will get introuble.
By the time we're teenagers,we've typically adopted the map
that our peers use and it'ssignificantly more complex.
Maybe our map says people thatdon't like punk rock are losers.
(05:01):
Or maybe it says that peoplethat play sports are stuck-up
jerks.
It's more complex, but it tendsto be oversimplified.
Some people keep that kind ofmap the rest of their lives.
Sometimes we get to college andwe become convinced that
everything our parents taught usabout the world is stupid,
because we saw someinconsistencies in the map that
(05:23):
they use.
And then we choose to createour own map that's more or less
the opposite of theirs, and ofcourse, it is likely to have its
own inconsistencies.
Back when I was in college, Ihad to read a book for a science
class called ScientificParadigms.
The gist of this book was topoint out that every time there
(05:43):
was a scientific understandingof the world that was different
than what most people believedat the time, it faced stiff
resistance.
Galileo had to face aninquisition for advocating that
the earth was not the center ofthe universe.
A simpler view of the night skywould suggest that the universe
does revolve around us, butthose little inconsistencies in
(06:08):
the way the planets moved weresimply not easily explained
under that paradigm.
Einstein faced intenseresistance to his theory of
relativity at first, and we allknow Charles Darwin still faces
resistance.
What became clear to me in thatbook is that none of our maps
are likely to be the full truth,just like none of the current
(06:30):
scientific paradigms are likelyto be the whole truth.
Just like none of the currentscientific paradigms are likely
to be the whole truth.
They are just the best methodswe currently have of
understanding our world, butthey will probably never be
perfect.
Maybe the real reason gravityactually exists is because there
are little invisible fairiesthat are always working to push
everything into the same place,and the denser something is, the
(06:53):
more fairies choose to jump inand push it down.
My fairy theory probably isn'tgoing to hold up under scrutiny,
but the point is that, whetherwe like it or not, we are living
in darkness and the best we cando is to keep revising the map.
The more we learn when we'reconfronted with inconsistencies
of our worldview, it knocks us alittle off balance, so much
(07:17):
that we try to grasp for anypossible reason to explain those
inconsistencies.
When those inconsistencies pileup, it becomes really
uncomfortable because we areonce again thrown into the
darkness.
But we don't have to be afraidof the dark.
It's not the darkness thatcauses pain, but rather our
resistance to it.
(07:37):
When a person has becomecomfortable in the darkness and
has found a way to embrace it,they no longer have to be afraid
when their paradigm or theirmap no longer holds up.
A person that has embraced thedarkness can keep their
understanding of the world inconstant flux.
They are no longer threatenedto have their ideas challenged.
(07:59):
To be comfortable in thedarkness gives you the
superpower of being able torecognize when someone that has
challenged your beliefs is doingit out of a place of fear or
from a place of collaboration.
We have to keep on makingguesses to get closer to the
truth, and that means we have toaccept our understanding of the
truth or that parts of it maybe wrong sometimes, but if we
(08:24):
can embrace the darkness, thereis no longer any fear associated
with modifying thoseunderstandings of the world.
This may seem like an obviousthing, but there is a comfort
people take in having quotediscovered what they think to be
true.
The idea that this world istruly unknowable in its entirety
is uncomfortable.
(08:46):
I often think of thesimilarities between the
ultra-religious and theultra-atheist.
They both are so determinedthat they are 100% correct that
it reeks of fear.
Embracing the darkness may takeyou someplace different than
other people, but if you'rewilling to embrace it, you'll
find that there are lessons tobe learned from unexpected
(09:09):
places.
Learning to embrace thedarkness is a little like what
many children go through whenthey're old enough to comprehend
that there are bad things inthe world.
Those dark corners become veryscary.
But as they grow and mature,most of them come to find that
the darkness is what allows themto take their mind off the
(09:32):
world and rest for a littlewhile.
And if you enjoyed the show,please like or subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
(09:55):
free to email me at info atskippingstonessrcom.
New episodes will be releasedweekly every Monday.
What in life deserves our time and attention and what
things don't.
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives
just a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
Humanity likes to fool itselfinto thinking it knows the world
(00:29):
it lives in, but we don't.
We are surrounded by darknessso thick that even the light we
shine doesn't go very far.
But there's a kind of comfortthat we can take from living in
the darkness, because that samedarkness gives us permission to
stop thinking so hard about whatis and what isn't.
(00:50):
There's this fixation we haveon knowing things with certainty
.
We want to know everything.
We want to know the future.
We want to know how things work.
We want to know why we exist.
We want to know if there is apurpose to our lives.
We're insatiable for knowledge,partly because we're inherently
(01:13):
curious creatures, but alsobecause we're afraid of the dark
.
There's not an answer foreverything, and if there is,
that answer is not alwaysavailable to us.
If there is, that answer is notalways available to us.
Not knowing things is auniversal pain point endured by
all of humanity.
That pain is compounded whenyou have the ability, like we do
(01:34):
, to learn so much.
To some extent, we can evenpredict what the future may hold
, good or bad, and this giftcomes from our capacity to
imagine.
But unfortunately, that samegift increases our capacity for
distress, as we can imaginenegatives as well as positives.
When left without answers tothings that are important to us,
(01:56):
the negative tends to win out,and our imagination feeds our
discomfort.
But why are we so drawn toknowing?
Knowing things is almost like adrug to us, and I'm not talking
about the pursuit of knowledge,but rather the fixation on
becoming so convinced of a thingthat we can treat it as fact.
The only real facts in life arethings we observe, and even
(02:20):
then, if having observed a thingis the litmus test for fact,
then a crazy person'shallucinations are in fact fact.
So maybe the only thing we cantruly say we know is that which
we've experienced.
So, all that being said, wetruly live in darkness.
It is our imagination and ourbest guesses that fill the world
(02:44):
around us.
In order to move through theworld, we have to imagine how
that world functions, or anotherway of putting it is that we
need to develop a paradigm thateffectively offers us a map to
help guide our actions.
Over time, we get socomfortable with the map that
we've created that when some newinformation does not validate
(03:07):
the map, we often choose tothrow it out, because we would
otherwise have to figure out howto rewrite our internal
paradigm or map all over again.
Every time we have toreorganize our whole way of
thinking about the world.
It makes us confront the factthat we do not actually know the
world and that in truth, we sitin darkness.
(03:29):
Once we have a new paradigm ormap, it helps fill us with
confidence again by making usfeel like we know how things
work, because most of the timethe map we have will take us to
the right place.
The problem we run into is thatno one has created the perfect
map, and the more rigidly theystick to the map that they have
(03:52):
built for themselves, the morepainful it is for them to have
it shattered by new information.
I think most of us have beenmoving through life using really
crappy maps.
We think the world operates oneway, but in truth it operates
very differently.
If we want to move through lifein a way that makes the most of
it.
(04:12):
Learning to revise our mapconstantly is absolutely
necessary.
What usually happens in life iswhen we are little, our map is
extremely basic Mom is good andeveryone else is not so good.
Stay with mom is our earliestparadigm.
When we get a little older, ourparadigm, or map, shifts a
(04:36):
little more.
It may be a little more complexnow.
Maybe now our map tells us thatmom and dad are good and when I
do certain things I will get introuble.
By the time we're teenagers,we've typically adopted the map
that our peers use and it'ssignificantly more complex.
Maybe our map says people thatdon't like punk rock are losers.
(05:01):
Or maybe it says that peoplethat play sports are stuck-up
jerks.
It's more complex, but it tendsto be oversimplified.
Some people keep that kind ofmap the rest of their lives.
Sometimes we get to college andwe become convinced that
everything our parents taught usabout the world is stupid,
because we saw someinconsistencies in the map that
(05:23):
they use.
And then we choose to createour own map that's more or less
the opposite of theirs, and ofcourse, it is likely to have its
own inconsistencies.
Back when I was in college, Ihad to read a book for a science
class called ScientificParadigms.
The gist of this book was topoint out that every time there
(05:43):
was a scientific understandingof the world that was different
than what most people believedat the time, it faced stiff
resistance.
Galileo had to face aninquisition for advocating that
the earth was not the center ofthe universe.
A simpler view of the night skywould suggest that the universe
does revolve around us, butthose little inconsistencies in
(06:08):
the way the planets moved weresimply not easily explained
under that paradigm.
Einstein faced intenseresistance to his theory of
relativity at first, and we allknow Charles Darwin still faces
resistance.
What became clear to me in thatbook is that none of our maps
are likely to be the full truth,just like none of the current
(06:30):
scientific paradigms are likelyto be the whole truth.
Just like none of the currentscientific paradigms are likely
to be the whole truth.
They are just the best methodswe currently have of
understanding our world, butthey will probably never be
perfect.
Maybe the real reason gravityactually exists is because there
are little invisible fairiesthat are always working to push
everything into the same place,and the denser something is, the
(06:53):
more fairies choose to jump inand push it down.
My fairy theory probably isn'tgoing to hold up under scrutiny,
but the point is that, whetherwe like it or not, we are living
in darkness and the best we cando is to keep revising the map.
The more we learn when we'reconfronted with inconsistencies
of our worldview, it knocks us alittle off balance, so much
(07:17):
that we try to grasp for anypossible reason to explain those
inconsistencies.
When those inconsistencies pileup, it becomes really
uncomfortable because we areonce again thrown into the
darkness.
But we don't have to be afraidof the dark.
It's not the darkness thatcauses pain, but rather our
resistance to it.
(07:37):
When a person has becomecomfortable in the darkness and
has found a way to embrace it,they no longer have to be afraid
when their paradigm or theirmap no longer holds up.
A person that has embraced thedarkness can keep their
understanding of the world inconstant flux.
They are no longer threatenedto have their ideas challenged.
(07:59):
To be comfortable in thedarkness gives you the
superpower of being able torecognize when someone that has
challenged your beliefs is doingit out of a place of fear or
from a place of collaboration.
We have to keep on makingguesses to get closer to the
truth, and that means we have toaccept our understanding of the
truth or that parts of it maybe wrong sometimes, but if we
(08:24):
can embrace the darkness, thereis no longer any fear associated
with modifying thoseunderstandings of the world.
This may seem like an obviousthing, but there is a comfort
people take in having quotediscovered what they think to be
true.
The idea that this world istruly unknowable in its entirety
is uncomfortable.
(08:46):
I often think of thesimilarities between the
ultra-religious and theultra-atheist.
They both are so determinedthat they are 100% correct that
it reeks of fear.
Embracing the darkness may takeyou someplace different than
other people, but if you'rewilling to embrace it, you'll
find that there are lessons tobe learned from unexpected
(09:09):
places.
Learning to embrace thedarkness is a little like what
many children go through whenthey're old enough to comprehend
that there are bad things inthe world.
Those dark corners become veryscary.
But as they grow and mature,most of them come to find that
the darkness is what allows themto take their mind off the
(09:32):
world and rest for a littlewhile.
And if you enjoyed the show,please like or subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
(09:55):
free to email me at info atskippingstonessrcom.
New episodes will be releasedweekly every Monday.
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