May 5, 2025 • 10 mins
Have you ever noticed how destruction grabs our attention, but beauty quietly waits for it?
This episode explores why we’re drawn to negative things more than uplifting ones and what that says about how we live.
We chase quick pleasures like success or comfort, but they rarely satisfy. The truly powerful moments, like watching a sunrise, hearing moving music, or connecting deeply with someone, fill us in a way nothing else can. Yet we often ignore them.
It’s not just the world pulling us down. Sometimes it's our own habits and cravings. But we can choose to look up, to seek what inspires us instead of what distracts us.
The most meaningful moments aren’t loud or flashy. They’re quiet, lasting, and worth seeking.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What in life deserves our time and attention and what
things don't.
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives
just a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
It's easier to see bad thingsthan it is to see good things.
(00:30):
Catastrophe and destructionsuck up our attention like a
vacuum.
It isn't uncommon for the firstthing we notice about someone
else to be something we don'tlike.
On the other hand, appreciatingthings that are beautiful and
good takes a little focus Unless, of course, you happen to be a
man and you're looking at awoman.
(00:51):
But generally speaking,beautiful things like flowers,
forests, rivers, mountains don'tseem to command our attention
most of the time, but ratherthey seem to invite it.
We will look and we willappreciate the good and the
beautiful, but our attentionseems to find its way more often
to less than impressive things.
(01:11):
I talked with someone recentlyabout this and they told me a
few days ago they'd woken upearly and went outside and
watched the sunrise.
She said it was an incredibleexperience.
She said it was an incredibleexperience and she told me that
she thought why don't.
I do this every day.
She also told me that shehasn't made an effort to do it
(01:33):
since.
It's really interesting thatmost of us have experienced
something transcendent in ourlife, such as an incredible
performance or a specialintimate moment with another
person.
Yet that's not the kind offeeling and experience we become
addicted to.
Instead, we become addicted tothings like food, drugs and
(01:55):
impersonal sexual experiences.
Our minds appear as though theyare set up to be perpetually
looking down in life.
We can have the greatestexperience of our life, but
somehow that feeling orexperience is not the thing we
choose to chase the next day.
Instead, we snap our headsright back down like we got
(02:16):
caught peeping into someone'swindow.
There are a lot of good thingsout there that have the
potential to deeply move aperson and to even elevate them
a little above the animalversion of ourselves, yet we
push these things to the side.
One of the greatest gifts, andpossibly curses, that we've been
given is our ability to thinkoutside of our basic instincts.
(02:39):
An animal's life is dictatedentirely by its instincts.
Humans have the incredibleability to consciously operate
outside of those instincts tosome degree, yet we rarely do.
A person has the capacity totranscend many things in this
life, yet we choose not to.
There are certain moments in mylife when I've been listening
(03:03):
to a song or watching a filmwhere I felt completely and
totally transcended, as if atruth of the world was laid bare
to me in that moment.
And what is so amazing to meabout moments like that and
things that inspire is that,contrary to all other pleasures
that we get addicted to, thesekind of experiences actually
(03:24):
leave us feeling satisfied.
When I've witnessed aperformance that's lifted up my
mind and soul to a higher plane,I usually sit in silence for a
moment.
I never feel inclined to rushback for more, because things
that inspire and things thattranscend are truly and deeply
(03:47):
satisfying.
They are the kinds of thingsthat are actually able to fill
the voids in our hearts.
Why would anyone need to rushback when the afterglow from the
experience leaves you so fulland happy?
Moments of inspiration andtranscendence are those precious
moments in life when a personis truly and fully satisfied.
(04:09):
We don't want them to end, butwhen they fade away, we're not
compelled to go find thoseplaces again.
In fact, we are more likely tosimply return to our usual
routine, with virtually nochange at all.
The moments of inspiration andtranscendence are the moments
(04:30):
that make life rich.
They really are the onlymoments worth pursuing in life.
Yet we have a hard time stayingfocused on them.
We don't like looking up,because we've been trained to
look downward.
More people seem to takepleasure in criticizing and
focusing on the worst ofhumanity, as opposed to opening
their eyes to that which is good.
We like to wallow in the mud,so to say, because it's easy.
(04:54):
It's easier to criticize thatone person getting out of the
mud than it is to lift ourselvesout.
I think the reasoning goes thatif everyone is as miserable as
you, at least you don't have tofeel less than someone else if
you can keep them from climbinghigher than you.
Wallowing in the mud has itsperks.
It takes little to no effort.
(05:15):
All we have to do to stay in itis do nothing.
Putting down someone else'shard work cost us little more
than our breath, which is goingto be exhaled anyways.
At times we convince ourselvesthat we belong in the mud.
I think Sometimes we don't evenrealize there's another option.
If everyone around you has onlyever looked down in their life,
(05:40):
it may have never crossed yourmind that you have the option of
looking up when we choose tolook is a simple yet powerful
tool that we have.
Our gaze can drift fromfocusing on the worst things to
focusing on the best things.
The problem with the bestthings is that they are just not
(06:00):
that interesting.
Sometimes I hear peoplecomplain that newspapers never
focus on anything good.
But when was the last time thatyou chose to read more than
just the headline about thatperson that donated a thousand
pairs of shoes somewhere or didsome other charitable thing?
Our minds are just not wired topay very much attention to
(06:24):
people doing good things.
Unfortunately, I think, becauseour bodies are wired to look
for threats, it predisposes usto the negative.
Transcending and inspiringthings do not really help a
person survive or reproduce.
They are not beneficial to anykind of natural selection, so
far as I can see.
In a way, experiencing thingsthat are transcendent and
(06:48):
inspiring is outside our nature,which makes it all the more
incredible that it is evenpossible for us to experience
them.
So it's a battle to stepoutside our lesser selves, but
it's a battle worth fighting,because a life that touches upon
the divine is a fulfilling life.
It is a life worth living.
(07:09):
We all know that there issomething glorious about
overcoming an obstacle andwinning.
It is the basic plot forvirtually every story Almost
every story you've ever read ormovie you've ever watched begins
with a problem and a struggleto overcome it.
I think our standard thinkingtells us that our personal
(07:30):
adventure is us versus the world, but the real war is our better
self versus our lesser self.
This is the arena where wereach transcendence and
inspiration.
It may spill over into the realworld, but the battle being
waged is an internal one.
A soldier choosing to fight anunwinnable battle that he will
(07:52):
not be remembered for is abattle of his commitment to his
cause or to those around himversus his fear and his
selfishness.
The glory doesn't come from thedefeat of the enemy, but from
the higher self defeating thelesser self.
The way to transcendence andinspiration is not necessarily a
(08:12):
single path.
As we can find our way throughthings like music and through
art, we can find our way herethrough a gritty battle against
ourself or against an enemy.
Sometimes, winning this battleto find our way to this place is
simply a battle to look up.
There are dark places we canseek out and hide in that are
(08:34):
without number, but finding thebest comes from climbing out of
those holes and seeing thesunlight above.
People are not really the sameas far as what drags them down.
I once heard Arthur Brooks, inan interview, say that you
should find your idol, meaningyou should find the thing that
(08:59):
you are most predisposed to makebad decisions for in order to
acquire them.
That may be pleasure, it couldbe power, maybe it's material
wealth or even reputation.
These are the things that pullus down.
They're the things that keep usfrom looking up.
To some degree, we are allaffected by each of those idols,
but there is usually one or twothat are more alluring than the
(09:22):
others.
You know who wants you to lookdown.
It's the other people that arelooking down.
When you start looking up, it'sthreatening to those that are
incapable of doing the same.
In the musical production of LesMiserables, the first song
starts out saying look down,look down.
Don't look them in the eye.
(09:43):
Look down, look down.
You're here until you die and,unfortunately, this is how many
people in the world would behappy to see you live, and if
you listen to them, you will diewith your face down.
We can open our eyes to thingsthat are right in front of us
that can lift us up if we chooseto, but we have to remember to
(10:07):
keep on looking for them.
This is Skipping Stones.
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonessrcom, and if youenjoyed the show, please like or
subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
(10:29):
free to email me at info atskippingstonessrcom.
New episodes will be releasedweekly, every Monday.
What in life deserves our time and attention and what
things don't.
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives
just a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
It's easier to see bad thingsthan it is to see good things.
(00:30):
Catastrophe and destructionsuck up our attention like a
vacuum.
It isn't uncommon for the firstthing we notice about someone
else to be something we don'tlike.
On the other hand, appreciatingthings that are beautiful and
good takes a little focus Unless, of course, you happen to be a
man and you're looking at awoman.
(00:51):
But generally speaking,beautiful things like flowers,
forests, rivers, mountains don'tseem to command our attention
most of the time, but ratherthey seem to invite it.
We will look and we willappreciate the good and the
beautiful, but our attentionseems to find its way more often
to less than impressive things.
(01:11):
I talked with someone recentlyabout this and they told me a
few days ago they'd woken upearly and went outside and
watched the sunrise.
She said it was an incredibleexperience.
She said it was an incredibleexperience and she told me that
she thought why don't.
I do this every day.
She also told me that shehasn't made an effort to do it
(01:33):
since.
It's really interesting thatmost of us have experienced
something transcendent in ourlife, such as an incredible
performance or a specialintimate moment with another
person.
Yet that's not the kind offeeling and experience we become
addicted to.
Instead, we become addicted tothings like food, drugs and
(01:55):
impersonal sexual experiences.
Our minds appear as though theyare set up to be perpetually
looking down in life.
We can have the greatestexperience of our life, but
somehow that feeling orexperience is not the thing we
choose to chase the next day.
Instead, we snap our headsright back down like we got
(02:16):
caught peeping into someone'swindow.
There are a lot of good thingsout there that have the
potential to deeply move aperson and to even elevate them
a little above the animalversion of ourselves, yet we
push these things to the side.
One of the greatest gifts, andpossibly curses, that we've been
given is our ability to thinkoutside of our basic instincts.
(02:39):
An animal's life is dictatedentirely by its instincts.
Humans have the incredibleability to consciously operate
outside of those instincts tosome degree, yet we rarely do.
A person has the capacity totranscend many things in this
life, yet we choose not to.
There are certain moments in mylife when I've been listening
(03:03):
to a song or watching a filmwhere I felt completely and
totally transcended, as if atruth of the world was laid bare
to me in that moment.
And what is so amazing to meabout moments like that and
things that inspire is that,contrary to all other pleasures
that we get addicted to, thesekind of experiences actually
(03:24):
leave us feeling satisfied.
When I've witnessed aperformance that's lifted up my
mind and soul to a higher plane,I usually sit in silence for a
moment.
I never feel inclined to rushback for more, because things
that inspire and things thattranscend are truly and deeply
(03:47):
satisfying.
They are the kinds of thingsthat are actually able to fill
the voids in our hearts.
Why would anyone need to rushback when the afterglow from the
experience leaves you so fulland happy?
Moments of inspiration andtranscendence are those precious
moments in life when a personis truly and fully satisfied.
(04:09):
We don't want them to end, butwhen they fade away, we're not
compelled to go find thoseplaces again.
In fact, we are more likely tosimply return to our usual
routine, with virtually nochange at all.
The moments of inspiration andtranscendence are the moments
(04:30):
that make life rich.
They really are the onlymoments worth pursuing in life.
Yet we have a hard time stayingfocused on them.
We don't like looking up,because we've been trained to
look downward.
More people seem to takepleasure in criticizing and
focusing on the worst ofhumanity, as opposed to opening
their eyes to that which is good.
We like to wallow in the mud,so to say, because it's easy.
(04:54):
It's easier to criticize thatone person getting out of the
mud than it is to lift ourselvesout.
I think the reasoning goes thatif everyone is as miserable as
you, at least you don't have tofeel less than someone else if
you can keep them from climbinghigher than you.
Wallowing in the mud has itsperks.
It takes little to no effort.
(05:15):
All we have to do to stay in itis do nothing.
Putting down someone else'shard work cost us little more
than our breath, which is goingto be exhaled anyways.
At times we convince ourselvesthat we belong in the mud.
I think Sometimes we don't evenrealize there's another option.
If everyone around you has onlyever looked down in their life,
(05:40):
it may have never crossed yourmind that you have the option of
looking up when we choose tolook is a simple yet powerful
tool that we have.
Our gaze can drift fromfocusing on the worst things to
focusing on the best things.
The problem with the bestthings is that they are just not
(06:00):
that interesting.
Sometimes I hear peoplecomplain that newspapers never
focus on anything good.
But when was the last time thatyou chose to read more than
just the headline about thatperson that donated a thousand
pairs of shoes somewhere or didsome other charitable thing?
Our minds are just not wired topay very much attention to
(06:24):
people doing good things.
Unfortunately, I think, becauseour bodies are wired to look
for threats, it predisposes usto the negative.
Transcending and inspiringthings do not really help a
person survive or reproduce.
They are not beneficial to anykind of natural selection, so
far as I can see.
In a way, experiencing thingsthat are transcendent and
(06:48):
inspiring is outside our nature,which makes it all the more
incredible that it is evenpossible for us to experience
them.
So it's a battle to stepoutside our lesser selves, but
it's a battle worth fighting,because a life that touches upon
the divine is a fulfilling life.
It is a life worth living.
(07:09):
We all know that there issomething glorious about
overcoming an obstacle andwinning.
It is the basic plot forvirtually every story Almost
every story you've ever read ormovie you've ever watched begins
with a problem and a struggleto overcome it.
I think our standard thinkingtells us that our personal
(07:30):
adventure is us versus the world, but the real war is our better
self versus our lesser self.
This is the arena where wereach transcendence and
inspiration.
It may spill over into the realworld, but the battle being
waged is an internal one.
A soldier choosing to fight anunwinnable battle that he will
(07:52):
not be remembered for is abattle of his commitment to his
cause or to those around himversus his fear and his
selfishness.
The glory doesn't come from thedefeat of the enemy, but from
the higher self defeating thelesser self.
The way to transcendence andinspiration is not necessarily a
(08:12):
single path.
As we can find our way throughthings like music and through
art, we can find our way herethrough a gritty battle against
ourself or against an enemy.
Sometimes, winning this battleto find our way to this place is
simply a battle to look up.
There are dark places we canseek out and hide in that are
(08:34):
without number, but finding thebest comes from climbing out of
those holes and seeing thesunlight above.
People are not really the sameas far as what drags them down.
I once heard Arthur Brooks, inan interview, say that you
should find your idol, meaningyou should find the thing that
(08:59):
you are most predisposed to makebad decisions for in order to
acquire them.
That may be pleasure, it couldbe power, maybe it's material
wealth or even reputation.
These are the things that pullus down.
They're the things that keep usfrom looking up.
To some degree, we are allaffected by each of those idols,
but there is usually one or twothat are more alluring than the
(09:22):
others.
You know who wants you to lookdown.
It's the other people that arelooking down.
When you start looking up, it'sthreatening to those that are
incapable of doing the same.
In the musical production of LesMiserables, the first song
starts out saying look down,look down.
Don't look them in the eye.
(09:43):
Look down, look down.
You're here until you die and,unfortunately, this is how many
people in the world would behappy to see you live, and if
you listen to them, you will diewith your face down.
We can open our eyes to thingsthat are right in front of us
that can lift us up if we chooseto, but we have to remember to
(10:07):
keep on looking for them.
This is Skipping Stones.
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonessrcom, and if youenjoyed the show, please like or
subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
(10:29):
free to email me at info atskippingstonessrcom.
New episodes will be releasedweekly, every Monday.
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