July 7, 2025 • 9 mins
In this episode of Skipping Stones, we explore the powerful contrast between two mindsets: prey and predator. Prey scans for danger. Predator locks in on a goal. As humans, we can do both but knowing when to switch might change everything.
Whether it’s avoiding that new opportunity because you’re afraid to look foolish, or holding back from an honest conversation, fear can quietly run your life. But clarity, focus, and purpose are tools anyone can learn to use.
Listen now to uncover how shifting your mindset can help you stop reacting and start pursuing what really matters.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
What in life deserves our time and attention and what
things don't.
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show that we canall learn to live our lives just
a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
When a lion is looking forsomething to eat, it doesn't
(00:32):
think about the antelope'sfeelings.
It is focused and it is hungryand it takes what it needs.
It feels cruel, but the lionwould die if it didn't choose to
be the predator it was meant tobe.
People are odd creatures.
We can be both predators andprey and, as such, I think that
there's an argument to be madethat maybe there are times in
(00:54):
life when we need tometaphorically be the predator,
because the alternative is to bethe prey.
There are some people in theworld that exist almost entirely
in a predatory state, and forevery one of those people, there
are 20 more that are content tobe more or less a herd animal.
Most of the time, and maybethat's for the best, the people
(01:17):
that want to blend in and don'twant to make waves don't get
singled out, but sometimes, whenwe allow ourselves to defer too
much to our fears, we get cutshort from accomplishing what we
want.
What makes being a predatoruseful is that, in the moment
your eyes are fixed on a goal,other concerns become irrelevant
(01:41):
and nothing exists except thespace between yourself and what
you want.
Prey animals have their eyesset to the side of their heads
so that they can be aware ofthreats from a wider field of
vision, while predators havetheir eyes forward, with a
narrow area of focus that allowsthem to hone in on one specific
(02:04):
target.
Area of focus that allows themto hone in on one specific
target.
When you are the predator, fearand nervousness stop existing,
because all that exists is thegoal.
When we are being prey, ournervousness and our anxiety is
our shield to help protect usfrom the predators, but it is a
state that keeps you reactiveinstead of allowing you the
(02:25):
ability to drive your actionsintentionally.
I was speaking to a friend whotold me she liked yoga but had a
hard time going to classesbecause she felt afraid that she
would walk in and look silly.
That conversation about sums upone of the biggest reasons
people do not do things thatthey're interested in.
In short, they are stuck in themindset of being prey and they
(02:54):
cannot take actions that wouldbenefit them.
They are in a mental loopdedicated to watching out for
all of the potential dangers,whether they're social or
physical.
I had another conversation witha guy that used to work for me,
who competed in MMA tournaments, and he told me that when you
go into a fight you're eitherreally nervous and feel sick or
you go into a kind ofhyper-focused state where you
(03:16):
see everything and feel verylittle.
A few years back I spent sometime doing martial arts and I
had a similar experience duringsparring.
You would think a couple ofpeople punching each other would
be less than pleasant, but, tothe contrary, sometimes
everything except the person youare fighting disappears and you
(03:37):
go into a kind of focus that'sexhilarating.
You barely feel the strikesfrom the other person and you
have a mind that only sees onething, and that is the objective
.
It is the momentary freedomfrom any and all fear, and I
think everyone could use a doseof that at least once in a while
(03:57):
.
When I started coming around tothis concept, I started doing
something that helped me.
Whenever I had to manage aconflict with another person,
I'd try to think through whatexactly I wanted before I'd have
the conversation and I'd defineit clearly in my mind.
And once I had defined thatdesire in my mind, my objective
(04:20):
became clear and I'd go into theconversation reminding myself
that I needed to be the predator.
The reason this is so useful isthat let's just say that you
need to let someone go from ajob because the company will
simply perform better withoutthem.
You know, going in, what theoutcome has to be, but if you go
(04:43):
in all nervous and feelingguilty, you're going to be more
likely to cave.
When that person tries to guilt, trip you or make you feel like
you owe them something, you mayend up even letting them stay
on a little while longer.
Except now there's resentmentin the mix, since they know you
wanted to let them go, and I canalmost guarantee they will
(05:04):
continue to be a drag on yourcompany and you are going to
feel impotent for not having thecapacity to do what was best
for your company's survival.
In situations like that, whenyou can keep your eye focused on
nothing other than what youwant, you will not be swayed by
the arguments and the complaintsand you won't waste any more
time than has already beenwasted.
(05:26):
The employee in question canmove on to someplace that will
be a better fit for them insteadof wasting more time at a job
where they were never going tothrive, and the company can
benefit from removing someonethat wasn't meaningfully
contributing.
Choosing to be a predator inthis sense does not mean being
selfish all the time.
It means thinking beforehandwhat actions need to be taken
(05:49):
and executing on those actionswithout concern for whatever
tries to get in your way.
Imagine if the cops letthemselves be concerned over
popular opinion when they haveto go in and arrest somebody.
They'd back off anytime thesuspect had their friends around
.
They might say oh I'm so sorry,guys, I didn't mean to cause a
problem.
(06:09):
Let me get out of your way.
Keep on doing whatever you'redoing.
Sometimes we have to make otherpeople's wants secondary to our
own.
We all know someone thatbehaves this way by default, and
that's clearly a bad thing, butwe all could benefit if we were
willing to behave this way whenit really matters.
(06:30):
I love the way Jordan Petersondescribes the importance of
being dangerous.
I remember him saying that youcan't be good unless you can be
dangerous, because if you lackthe capacity of being dangerous,
then you can't be good becauseyou don't have the ability to do
otherwise.
What makes a person good ishaving the capacity to be
(06:52):
dangerous, but the discipline toreserve that for when it's
necessary.
People are just not meant to beprey all of the time.
The Eastern concept of yin andyang is so applicable to so many
things.
It may seem sometimes that weare one or the other, but we are
both and we need both.
(07:14):
Without darkness, we couldnever appreciate light.
The anxious energy of the preywill keep them protected from
the predator, but the drivenpursuit of the predator will
move you toward a goal.
Just like we all know someonethat lives almost entirely in a
state of selfishness, weprobably also know someone that
(07:35):
lives almost entirely in a stateof fear.
Mastery of our world comes fromour ability to utilize both the
predator and the prey inside ofus.
When you want to enjoy somethingin life, you need to put on the
predator.
In order for you to take it,you need to lead or be led.
There's not much of a middleground.
The safe choice is to alwayswatch and wait, but safe is not
(07:59):
necessarily better.
Living an entirely selfish lifewill likely lead you to burnout
relationships and possiblyprison, while an entirely
fearful life will keep youlocked up in a mental prison of
your own making.
Leading a rich and fulfillinglife requires you to learn to
balance both caution and risk.
(08:19):
You cannot have both at thesame time.
Defense doesn't score anypoints, so even if you succeed
in keeping anyone else from everscoring points against you,
you'll still never win the game.
This is Skipping Stones.
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
(08:40):
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonessrcom and if youenjoyed the show, please like or
subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
free to email me at info atskippingstonessrcom.
New episodes will be releasedweekly, every Monday.
What in life deserves our time and attention and what
things don't.
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show that we canall learn to live our lives just
a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
When a lion is looking forsomething to eat, it doesn't
(00:32):
think about the antelope'sfeelings.
It is focused and it is hungryand it takes what it needs.
It feels cruel, but the lionwould die if it didn't choose to
be the predator it was meant tobe.
People are odd creatures.
We can be both predators andprey and, as such, I think that
there's an argument to be madethat maybe there are times in
(00:54):
life when we need tometaphorically be the predator,
because the alternative is to bethe prey.
There are some people in theworld that exist almost entirely
in a predatory state, and forevery one of those people, there
are 20 more that are content tobe more or less a herd animal.
Most of the time, and maybethat's for the best, the people
(01:17):
that want to blend in and don'twant to make waves don't get
singled out, but sometimes, whenwe allow ourselves to defer too
much to our fears, we get cutshort from accomplishing what we
want.
What makes being a predatoruseful is that, in the moment
your eyes are fixed on a goal,other concerns become irrelevant
(01:41):
and nothing exists except thespace between yourself and what
you want.
Prey animals have their eyesset to the side of their heads
so that they can be aware ofthreats from a wider field of
vision, while predators havetheir eyes forward, with a
narrow area of focus that allowsthem to hone in on one specific
(02:04):
target.
Area of focus that allows themto hone in on one specific
target.
When you are the predator, fearand nervousness stop existing,
because all that exists is thegoal.
When we are being prey, ournervousness and our anxiety is
our shield to help protect usfrom the predators, but it is a
state that keeps you reactiveinstead of allowing you the
(02:25):
ability to drive your actionsintentionally.
I was speaking to a friend whotold me she liked yoga but had a
hard time going to classesbecause she felt afraid that she
would walk in and look silly.
That conversation about sums upone of the biggest reasons
people do not do things thatthey're interested in.
In short, they are stuck in themindset of being prey and they
(02:54):
cannot take actions that wouldbenefit them.
They are in a mental loopdedicated to watching out for
all of the potential dangers,whether they're social or
physical.
I had another conversation witha guy that used to work for me,
who competed in MMA tournaments, and he told me that when you
go into a fight you're eitherreally nervous and feel sick or
you go into a kind ofhyper-focused state where you
(03:16):
see everything and feel verylittle.
A few years back I spent sometime doing martial arts and I
had a similar experience duringsparring.
You would think a couple ofpeople punching each other would
be less than pleasant, but, tothe contrary, sometimes
everything except the person youare fighting disappears and you
(03:37):
go into a kind of focus that'sexhilarating.
You barely feel the strikesfrom the other person and you
have a mind that only sees onething, and that is the objective
.
It is the momentary freedomfrom any and all fear, and I
think everyone could use a doseof that at least once in a while
(03:57):
.
When I started coming around tothis concept, I started doing
something that helped me.
Whenever I had to manage aconflict with another person,
I'd try to think through whatexactly I wanted before I'd have
the conversation and I'd defineit clearly in my mind.
And once I had defined thatdesire in my mind, my objective
(04:20):
became clear and I'd go into theconversation reminding myself
that I needed to be the predator.
The reason this is so useful isthat let's just say that you
need to let someone go from ajob because the company will
simply perform better withoutthem.
You know, going in, what theoutcome has to be, but if you go
(04:43):
in all nervous and feelingguilty, you're going to be more
likely to cave.
When that person tries to guilt, trip you or make you feel like
you owe them something, you mayend up even letting them stay
on a little while longer.
Except now there's resentmentin the mix, since they know you
wanted to let them go, and I canalmost guarantee they will
(05:04):
continue to be a drag on yourcompany and you are going to
feel impotent for not having thecapacity to do what was best
for your company's survival.
In situations like that, whenyou can keep your eye focused on
nothing other than what youwant, you will not be swayed by
the arguments and the complaintsand you won't waste any more
time than has already beenwasted.
(05:26):
The employee in question canmove on to someplace that will
be a better fit for them insteadof wasting more time at a job
where they were never going tothrive, and the company can
benefit from removing someonethat wasn't meaningfully
contributing.
Choosing to be a predator inthis sense does not mean being
selfish all the time.
It means thinking beforehandwhat actions need to be taken
(05:49):
and executing on those actionswithout concern for whatever
tries to get in your way.
Imagine if the cops letthemselves be concerned over
popular opinion when they haveto go in and arrest somebody.
They'd back off anytime thesuspect had their friends around
.
They might say oh I'm so sorry,guys, I didn't mean to cause a
problem.
(06:09):
Let me get out of your way.
Keep on doing whatever you'redoing.
Sometimes we have to make otherpeople's wants secondary to our
own.
We all know someone thatbehaves this way by default, and
that's clearly a bad thing, butwe all could benefit if we were
willing to behave this way whenit really matters.
(06:30):
I love the way Jordan Petersondescribes the importance of
being dangerous.
I remember him saying that youcan't be good unless you can be
dangerous, because if you lackthe capacity of being dangerous,
then you can't be good becauseyou don't have the ability to do
otherwise.
What makes a person good ishaving the capacity to be
(06:52):
dangerous, but the discipline toreserve that for when it's
necessary.
People are just not meant to beprey all of the time.
The Eastern concept of yin andyang is so applicable to so many
things.
It may seem sometimes that weare one or the other, but we are
both and we need both.
(07:14):
Without darkness, we couldnever appreciate light.
The anxious energy of the preywill keep them protected from
the predator, but the drivenpursuit of the predator will
move you toward a goal.
Just like we all know someonethat lives almost entirely in a
state of selfishness, weprobably also know someone that
(07:35):
lives almost entirely in a stateof fear.
Mastery of our world comes fromour ability to utilize both the
predator and the prey inside ofus.
When you want to enjoy somethingin life, you need to put on the
predator.
In order for you to take it,you need to lead or be led.
There's not much of a middleground.
The safe choice is to alwayswatch and wait, but safe is not
(07:59):
necessarily better.
Living an entirely selfish lifewill likely lead you to burnout
relationships and possiblyprison, while an entirely
fearful life will keep youlocked up in a mental prison of
your own making.
Leading a rich and fulfillinglife requires you to learn to
balance both caution and risk.
(08:19):
You cannot have both at thesame time.
Defense doesn't score anypoints, so even if you succeed
in keeping anyone else from everscoring points against you,
you'll still never win the game.
This is Skipping Stones.
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
(08:40):
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonessrcom and if youenjoyed the show, please like or
subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
free to email me at info atskippingstonessrcom.
New episodes will be releasedweekly, every Monday.
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