September 29, 2025 • 8 mins
How much of you existed before you were born?
Your DNA, appearance, and tendencies come from generations who lived, loved, failed, and triumphed before you.
This episode of Skipping Stones explores how family history shapes identity:
- We think of ourselves as self-made, but each of us carries generations of stories.
- Merchants, artists, pioneers, and rebels still influence who we are today.
- Love, grief, ambition, and joy connect us across time, making our ancestors’ experiences surprisingly relevant.
- Every family tree holds heroes and villains. Recognizing this frees us from perfectionism and offers lessons for our own paths.
Your family story is not your destiny unless you choose it to be. It’s a resource full of wisdom.
New episodes drop every Monday. If this one resonates with you, share your thoughts or suggest topics at info@skippingstonesr.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
What in life deserves our time and attention,
and what things don't?
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives just
a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
(00:33):
Your past is more than just ashort life that you've lived
because your past is also madeup of all the pasts of the
people that made you who youare, as well as all the past of
the people that made them whothey were.
This may be a no-brainer to someof you, but your family's
history is as relevant to yourhistory as your own lived
(00:55):
experience.
What shaped those people?
Not only how you behave, but howyou look, all of that came
largely from those that camebefore you.
Every person on earth was bornfrom the union of a man and a
woman.
And your story goes back a longway.
We're all influenced by ourtimes, but our times arrived
(01:20):
collectively from our ancestors.
Some of us may be ashamed of ourancestors, while others may be
proud.
But either way, we have a storythat started long before we were
born.
My family knows their historypretty far back, and I'm deeply
grateful for this.
The good and the bad, I havehundreds of years of history to
(01:42):
draw on.
Starting with my mother andfather who grew up on opposite
sides of the United States,moving on to my ancestors on
both different sides.
Those that came before meincluded a businessman, a beauty
queen, a milkman, a lineman, acook, a farmer, an attorney, a
homemaker, rich people, poorpeople, smart people, dumb
(02:07):
people, a pirate, a soldier, apilgrim, a pioneer, a nobleman,
and a peasant, cowards andheroes.
We inherit a lot more than genesfrom our families.
Their stories serve as bothwarnings and inspiration for us
in our lives.
Whoever you are and whateveryour family did or didn't do, be
(02:30):
proud of the fact that you havea story to draw on.
Both the good and the bad arelessons to you.
If everyone in your family thatyou knew is an alcoholic, you
have been given an opportunityto be the phoenix that rose from
the ashes.
If your family has only everknown success in life, then you
have a rich vault of experienceto draw upon to springboard you
(02:52):
to the next level.
Don't ignore your family, thegood or the bad.
Learn their stories and makethem a part of you.
Keep the bad as lessons learnedand draw on the good to inspire
you.
The beautiful thing about familyis that if you keep on going
back in your history, you'llfind people that lived lives
that you're proud of and thosethat lived lives that would make
(03:15):
you ashamed.
Nobody is immune from having badexamples in their lives.
The most honored lineage in ourtime would probably be that of
the British royal family.
It also happens to be one of themost recorded.
And even though it's not mylineage, I'm grateful for it.
They are living proof that everyfamily has absolutely terrible
(03:37):
people in it.
There's nothing special aboutthat family other than the fact
that they have inherited powerfor generations.
But just like other families,they have some incredible
standouts that they can drawupon for inspiration.
We live in a time that reallyseems to have its eyes set in
one direction.
We look toward the future andoften ignore the past.
(03:59):
Things used to move more slowly,but in our day and age, the last
three or four generations havewatched as the world they grew
up in change so much that by thetime they had their own
children, it wasn't even thesame.
With change that happens soquickly, it can be hard to think
on the past because it feelsless relevant.
(04:20):
What your grandpa experiencedgrowing up in the 50s probably
doesn't seem like it mightrelate to how you're living
today.
They are relevant though.
People are still people, and theproblems we deal with are the
same problems we have alwaysdealt with.
Sadness, boredom, love, hate,hunger, discomfort, and
(04:40):
everything else.
If it were true that the livesof the past were not relevant to
our own, then I think it's fairto say we shouldn't be watching
movies unless they are aboutpeople just like us, living in
the same part of the world, inthe same stage of life, and
doing the same things as us.
But obviously that's sillybecause of course everyone's
(05:01):
story can be relevant to us.
We entertain a kind of hubriswhen we think ourselves to be so
unique and to have problems thatare so unrelatable to other
people.
People are not so different andindependent as that.
We are never going to be thefirst or the last to go through
a thing.
In fact, I believe we're all sosimilar to each other that it is
(05:24):
almost as if humanitycollectively is the only true
individual, and we are nothingmore than just a part of it.
That being said, the line ofpeople that brought you into the
world deserve our appreciation,even if not always our respect.
All stories may be relevant tous in some way, but the stories
(05:44):
of the people that made us arethat much closer to us and that
much more relevant.
On the flip side, I think we alltoo often take our family
history too seriously, when wetreat it like it's meant to
define our destiny.
Our generational trauma lets usmake excuses when it could be a
lesson learned.
(06:04):
Family history is only afamily's future if we let it.
The past is such a lesson, buteven more so is our own past,
and part of that is the peoplethat are responsible for our
existence.
One of the Christiancommandments says to honor your
mother and father.
And I've heard a few takes onhow exactly to interpret that,
(06:27):
but in the context of what we'retalking about, I think you could
take that to mean that we shouldappreciate the lessons we can
learn from them, whether thelessons serve as a warning or as
an example.
Looking in our family's historyoffers a clearer picture to us
than looking at the peoplearound us.
When we look for lessons fromour contemporaries, we are
(06:48):
influenced by aspirations, envy,and other very human wants and
desires.
When we look at the past, it canbe easier to see it for what it
really was, especially after thestory's already played out.
Maybe you look at your friendstoday that are partying hard and
seem to be living their bestlives, but when you look back at
(07:10):
your Uncle John, who did thesame thing, you might find that
his life was empty, or maybeyou'll see that it took big
changes for him to get to abetter place.
Maybe your great aunt was filthyrich, but no one liked her
because she was genuinely aterrible person.
There's clarity in the past thatcan be untainted by our current
(07:31):
biases.
Not to say we don't sometimescherry pick stories that justify
our current wants and desiressometimes.
When I look back at my ownfamily, I see that some of them
who had less worldly status weresometimes happier than the ones
that had more.
I see how tragic it is to have afamily broken apart and children
(07:55):
deprived of their fathers.
I see what a happy life actuallylooks like.
Don't deprive yourself of thelessons you can learn from the
past.
Your family's history is a partof you, and ignoring it is to
live without a part of yourself.
This is Skipping Stones.
(08:15):
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonesr.com.
And if you enjoyed the show,please like or subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
free to email me at info atskippingstonesr.com.
(08:36):
New episodes will be releasedweekly every Monday.
What in life deserves our time and attention,
and what things don't?
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives just
a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.
(00:33):
Your past is more than just ashort life that you've lived
because your past is also madeup of all the pasts of the
people that made you who youare, as well as all the past of
the people that made them whothey were.
This may be a no-brainer to someof you, but your family's
history is as relevant to yourhistory as your own lived
(00:55):
experience.
What shaped those people?
Not only how you behave, but howyou look, all of that came
largely from those that camebefore you.
Every person on earth was bornfrom the union of a man and a
woman.
And your story goes back a longway.
We're all influenced by ourtimes, but our times arrived
(01:20):
collectively from our ancestors.
Some of us may be ashamed of ourancestors, while others may be
proud.
But either way, we have a storythat started long before we were
born.
My family knows their historypretty far back, and I'm deeply
grateful for this.
The good and the bad, I havehundreds of years of history to
(01:42):
draw on.
Starting with my mother andfather who grew up on opposite
sides of the United States,moving on to my ancestors on
both different sides.
Those that came before meincluded a businessman, a beauty
queen, a milkman, a lineman, acook, a farmer, an attorney, a
homemaker, rich people, poorpeople, smart people, dumb
(02:07):
people, a pirate, a soldier, apilgrim, a pioneer, a nobleman,
and a peasant, cowards andheroes.
We inherit a lot more than genesfrom our families.
Their stories serve as bothwarnings and inspiration for us
in our lives.
Whoever you are and whateveryour family did or didn't do, be
(02:30):
proud of the fact that you havea story to draw on.
Both the good and the bad arelessons to you.
If everyone in your family thatyou knew is an alcoholic, you
have been given an opportunityto be the phoenix that rose from
the ashes.
If your family has only everknown success in life, then you
have a rich vault of experienceto draw upon to springboard you
(02:52):
to the next level.
Don't ignore your family, thegood or the bad.
Learn their stories and makethem a part of you.
Keep the bad as lessons learnedand draw on the good to inspire
you.
The beautiful thing about familyis that if you keep on going
back in your history, you'llfind people that lived lives
that you're proud of and thosethat lived lives that would make
(03:15):
you ashamed.
Nobody is immune from having badexamples in their lives.
The most honored lineage in ourtime would probably be that of
the British royal family.
It also happens to be one of themost recorded.
And even though it's not mylineage, I'm grateful for it.
They are living proof that everyfamily has absolutely terrible
(03:37):
people in it.
There's nothing special aboutthat family other than the fact
that they have inherited powerfor generations.
But just like other families,they have some incredible
standouts that they can drawupon for inspiration.
We live in a time that reallyseems to have its eyes set in
one direction.
We look toward the future andoften ignore the past.
(03:59):
Things used to move more slowly,but in our day and age, the last
three or four generations havewatched as the world they grew
up in change so much that by thetime they had their own
children, it wasn't even thesame.
With change that happens soquickly, it can be hard to think
on the past because it feelsless relevant.
(04:20):
What your grandpa experiencedgrowing up in the 50s probably
doesn't seem like it mightrelate to how you're living
today.
They are relevant though.
People are still people, and theproblems we deal with are the
same problems we have alwaysdealt with.
Sadness, boredom, love, hate,hunger, discomfort, and
(04:40):
everything else.
If it were true that the livesof the past were not relevant to
our own, then I think it's fairto say we shouldn't be watching
movies unless they are aboutpeople just like us, living in
the same part of the world, inthe same stage of life, and
doing the same things as us.
But obviously that's sillybecause of course everyone's
(05:01):
story can be relevant to us.
We entertain a kind of hubriswhen we think ourselves to be so
unique and to have problems thatare so unrelatable to other
people.
People are not so different andindependent as that.
We are never going to be thefirst or the last to go through
a thing.
In fact, I believe we're all sosimilar to each other that it is
(05:24):
almost as if humanitycollectively is the only true
individual, and we are nothingmore than just a part of it.
That being said, the line ofpeople that brought you into the
world deserve our appreciation,even if not always our respect.
All stories may be relevant tous in some way, but the stories
(05:44):
of the people that made us arethat much closer to us and that
much more relevant.
On the flip side, I think we alltoo often take our family
history too seriously, when wetreat it like it's meant to
define our destiny.
Our generational trauma lets usmake excuses when it could be a
lesson learned.
(06:04):
Family history is only afamily's future if we let it.
The past is such a lesson, buteven more so is our own past,
and part of that is the peoplethat are responsible for our
existence.
One of the Christiancommandments says to honor your
mother and father.
And I've heard a few takes onhow exactly to interpret that,
(06:27):
but in the context of what we'retalking about, I think you could
take that to mean that we shouldappreciate the lessons we can
learn from them, whether thelessons serve as a warning or as
an example.
Looking in our family's historyoffers a clearer picture to us
than looking at the peoplearound us.
When we look for lessons fromour contemporaries, we are
(06:48):
influenced by aspirations, envy,and other very human wants and
desires.
When we look at the past, it canbe easier to see it for what it
really was, especially after thestory's already played out.
Maybe you look at your friendstoday that are partying hard and
seem to be living their bestlives, but when you look back at
(07:10):
your Uncle John, who did thesame thing, you might find that
his life was empty, or maybeyou'll see that it took big
changes for him to get to abetter place.
Maybe your great aunt was filthyrich, but no one liked her
because she was genuinely aterrible person.
There's clarity in the past thatcan be untainted by our current
(07:31):
biases.
Not to say we don't sometimescherry pick stories that justify
our current wants and desiressometimes.
When I look back at my ownfamily, I see that some of them
who had less worldly status weresometimes happier than the ones
that had more.
I see how tragic it is to have afamily broken apart and children
(07:55):
deprived of their fathers.
I see what a happy life actuallylooks like.
Don't deprive yourself of thelessons you can learn from the
past.
Your family's history is a partof you, and ignoring it is to
live without a part of yourself.
This is Skipping Stones.
(08:15):
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonesr.com.
And if you enjoyed the show,please like or subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
free to email me at info atskippingstonesr.com.
(08:36):
New episodes will be releasedweekly every Monday.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!