82. Surrender

What if the victories you’re chasing are pulling you away from the life you actually want?

This episode explores surrender as a strength, not a setback —a choice that protects your peace, purpose, and long-term goals. We unpack why constant striving often fails, how ego hides behind grit, and why true success means ending up more grounded and aligned with what matters.

You’ll learn when to let small wins go, how to watch emotions without becoming them, and how acceptance can bring a deeper strength than willpower ever could.

If you’re rethinking what deserves your energy, this episode offers clarity, calm, and direction.

Listen, share with someone who needs it, and subscribe for next Monday’s conversation.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
What in life deserves our time and attention,
and what things don't?
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives just
a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.

(00:26):
To win at something is a conceptthat is really not that simple.
In the context of a game or abattle, the idea is fairly
clear.
But in the grander scheme ofthings, winning a battle often
doesn't win the war, andsometimes a battle won under the
wrong circumstances might evenspeed up the ultimate loss of a

(00:47):
war.
The US military dominated theTaliban in Afghanistan
militarily and completely tookit over, but 20 years later the
Taliban came right back intopower.
Sometimes the battles we win aresimply the wrong battles to be
winning, because to really winat something ultimately demands
that you are better off than howyou started.

(01:10):
We spend so much of our timefighting and striving and
pushing and shoving our way towhere we want to be.
We have an idea in our mindabout what we think we want and
need, and we push to acquire it.
It is remarkable what ourindomitable spirits can
accomplish.
The most inspiring people infiction and in history are

(01:30):
people that refused to give upin spite of terrible odds.
As much as I admire the fightingspirit and resolve of mankind, I
also believe that to neversurrender is to never win.
I say this because there arethings worth surrendering to.
Without surrender, there's onlya never-ending fight.

(01:51):
Sometimes surrender simply meansto choose to be satisfied with
where you currently are in life.
Sometimes I think it means tolet someone win a battle that
would have caused you to lose awar.
Then there's this idea ofsurrendering yourself to a
principle or something youbelieve to be greater than
yourself.

(02:11):
To surrender entirely tosomething like this is to let go
of the ego and become anextension of the thing that you
are surrendering to.
It's scary because it requiresus to give up this idea that we
have of ourselves in our mind.
But it's necessary in order totranscend into something greater
than just us.
Few things are more fulfillingthan to serve a purpose.

(02:34):
When we serve only ourselves,it's almost as if we're trying
to make ourselves the onlypurpose that ever mattered.
But that's like trying to takethe place of God, and since none
of us are meant to be God, weend up feeling empty.
Let's just assume that you'rethe winningest human that ever
lived.
You've won all the power in theworld and all the things in the

(02:56):
world and all the love of theworld, you would be left with
nothing to strive for.
The only purpose to serve,assuming you haven't adopted one
that you believe to be higherthan yourself, is yourself.
All the good things in the worldwill eventually become stale
without having a purpose tostrive toward.
On a daily basis, we think aboutour current state and we take

(03:20):
actions to approve upon thatstate or to pacify our
discontent over it.
There's a benefit to justletting go of the self for a
moment because when you let goof the concept of quote you, you
also let go of all the thingsassociated with it, such as
pride, hate, sadness, fear,disappointment.

(03:41):
All those things exist only inrelation to how they affect what
you would call you.
When you can let the quote selfdisappear momentarily, it
evaporates into the incrediblesong that is the world we belong
to.
What is now good for you is thatwhich is good for everything,
because everything in a way hasbecome you.

(04:04):
Eliminating the self is theequivalent to surrendering to
eternity.
If you're religious, it meansyou are surrendering yourself to
God.
If you're an atheist, it meansyou're surrendering your sense
of self-importance to a universethat you are only the tiniest
piece of.
There's a kind of peace that canbe acquired through surrender
that an indomitable will cannever satisfy.

(04:27):
When you take those moments inlife when you are feeling
discontent and surrender tothem, or maybe a better way of
saying it, is accepting thatthey are there, you can then
transcend them in a way.
When you stop allowing yourfeelings to be a part of you and
mentally step outside ofyourself and observe them, you
can reach a kind of peace andcontentment that is powerful.

(04:51):
Like so many things in life, itseems that there is never a
perfectly easy answer to what isthe best path forward.
If we were all perfectlycontent, we might have a healthy
curiosity for the world aroundus, but probably little drive to
do anything with it.
Without drive and indomitablewills, we would not persevere

(05:12):
long enough to continue oursurvival.
So maybe there's a time and aplace for both.
Everything in this world seemsto have its inverse, and
consequently, without one side,the other would not exist.
If there was no evil, thenthere'd be no good, if there's
no chaos, then there'd be nocalm, and if there's no up, then
there's no down.
If there's no darkness, thenthere's no light.

(05:34):
If there is no surrender, thereis no conquering or overcoming.
The best lesson I can pull fromthis is that maybe we should
seek to have the benefits ofboth, each in their own due
time.
Also a recognition that thislife is not meant to be led in a
straight line.
We are meant to go up and comedown, we are meant to go right

(05:58):
and we're meant to go left.
No good story about winning hasever been written that hasn't
included a point in which thehero has also lost.
Managing loss teaches us how towin and how to remain resilient.
Loss teaches us humility, andloss educates us.
There will always be a time tofight.

(06:20):
Life seems in many ways to benothing but a never-ending cycle
of fights.
But there is also a time forsurrender.
That moment you do finallychoose to surrender may even be
the sweetest moment you ever getto experience.
This is Skipping Stones.

(06:40):
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podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonesr.com.
And if you enjoyed the show,please like or subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
free to email me at info atskippingstonesr.com.

(07:01):
New episodes will be releasedweekly every Monday.