84. Luxury Once Enjoyed, Becomes a Necessity

What if comfort never feels like enough because it isn’t meant to?

We talk about how excitement fades, how fear of loss takes over, and how comfort can quietly become a cage. From cars to “self-care” trips, we explore how hedonic adaptation keeps moving the goalpost.

This one’s about gratitude, not status. Admiring more, chasing less, and finding joy on purpose. Follow, share, and tell us one ordinary thing you appreciated today.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:01):
What in life deserves our time and attention,
and what things don't?
I hope that as we consider thatquestion, along with other
topics on this show, that we canall learn to live our lives just
a little more intentionally.
This is Seth Roberts.
Thanks for joining me onSkipping Stones.

(00:29):
Not because I don't want them,but because I worry that I won't
be able to stand living withoutthem.
Why is the pain of losingsomething so much greater and
long-lasting than thesatisfaction we get from first
acquiring a thing?
The saddest thing about havingnice things is that they become
commonplace over time.

(00:50):
The first time I bought a carthat was newer than 10 years or
so felt like an incredibleupgrade to me.
I was ecstatic.
Now I've acclimated to havingsomething much nicer, and the
idea of having less soundspainful to me.
The rich often rightly sound outof touch with reality when they

(01:12):
start saying things like, Oh, Icould never shop at Walmart.
Or you need to treat yourself,go take a vacation.
We want to emulate thesepeople's self-care routines and
we want to indulge in thecomforts they take for granted,
but the average person justdoesn't have the means or the
time to do all of that.
So we make do with far less.

(01:34):
I'm not sure a quote averagefamily can even afford a trip to
Disney World anymore.
It's easy to acclimate to luxuryto the point that life without
luxury sounds excruciating.
Even though just some yearsprior in life, living without
them was probably fine, and weprobably didn't care.
We probably at one point scoffedat the people that had things

(01:57):
that we didn't, but behaved asif they couldn't live without
them.
Once upon a time, people werehappy to have a meal for the
day.
And in some places, that stillis all that matters.
Maybe to be happy in this world,what we really need is to find a
way to detach ourselves from therat race that the pursuit of
possessions forces us into.

(02:19):
Chasing after the next thing isexhausting.
It's no wonder people feel likethey work and they work and then
they die.
Because they do.
We look for what's not presentlyavailable to us, and we use it
as a driver to move forward inlife.
But maybe when we do that, we'rerobbing ourselves of the

(02:39):
pleasure we could beexperiencing if we just reminded
ourselves more often of the joysof having the possessions we
already have.
It seems like such a simpleformula.
More things, status, power,etc., equals more happiness.
But that really doesn't seem tobe the case.

(02:59):
Just about every documentary ofjust about every celebrity I've
ever seen talks about deep boutsof depression.
So clearly, all the luxuries inthe world don't seem to make
everything better.
Comfort so easily becomes ourcrutch.
It can almost become a kind ofprison once we're acclimated.
Pretty soon after we have it, werefuse to be happy without it.

(03:22):
We slowly chip away at ourability to be happy with less.
In a strange way, it's ourdiscomforts that keep us
grounded and free.
We all seem to want to resistthe very notion that hard things
can be good for us, but theyare.
Our discomforts have thecapacity to give us perspective
and to make us more empatheticto people that have less.

(03:44):
I think about what it means tobe spoiled, which is what so
many of us, rich and poor, havebecome.
I think, anyways.
It seems to me to mean we'velost perspective.
A perfect example of a spoiledperson is the person that takes
from life not with gratitude,but with a sense of entitlement.
A spoiled person is the personthat insists them having more is

(04:07):
because they think they deserveit.
But who really deserves a thinganyway?
What truly makes a persondeserving of anything?
Does being smarter, richer, ormore beautiful entitle you to
more?
Is that truly what makes usdeserving?
I believe what makes a persondeserving is whether or not they
can make use of a thing and begrateful for it.

(04:30):
I know people that fear notbeing relevant to the world more
than they fear the misery thatthat pursuit drives them to.
If they're not working on bigthings or are around powerful
people, they think they are notliving.
But as much as those people haveinfluence over the actions of
many, they have little to noinfluence over people's souls,
which at the end of the day Ithink is probably the only thing

(04:52):
truly worth having an impact on.
Which at the end of the day, Ithink is probably the only thing
truly worth having an impact on,since the soul is the part of us
that lies outside of the actionswe take to simply survive and
experience pleasure.
I can't help but feel like thepeople that have the real
advantage in life are not thesmart ones, the good looking

(05:14):
ones, or even the rich ones, butthe ones that know how to smile
at the little things aroundthem.
The greatest contributors tothis world, in my opinion, are
the ones that can appreciate it.
What is the value of thebeautiful world we live on if
it's simply a thing to beconquered or endured?
Instead, the world we live on isa place to be admired.
As history drudges forward,people will force change upon

(05:37):
it, and the people that forcethe most change will be the best
remembered for a time.
But I think the people thatfound a way to enjoy the process
of living are the people thathave actually won the game of
life.
The world doesn't need moreconquerors, it needs more
admirers.

(05:57):
There will always be things youwant in life that you won't
have.
Whether that is a differentpresident in office, a Ferrari,
fame, or the admiration of yourpeers.
So in theory, you will always beleft wanting more.
But if you are capable of seeingwhat you have and appreciating
it, you become the king or queenof your mortal existence because

(06:21):
you hold the greatest power ofall, which is power over your
own joy in life.
Joy is simply not something thatjust happens.
It is something that we have toactively choose to practice.
It is as much an intentionalaction we take as it is a result
of our present circumstances.

(06:41):
I don't know what I would do ifI lost everything, but I try to
remind myself of when I hadnothing and was content.
Loss of any sort is always goingto hurt, but I hope we have it
in us to remember that we canand have been happy with less.
If we could never live withoutour luxuries, are we truly

(07:02):
worthy of having them?
The secret to life seems to beless about acquiring new things,
but more about learning to smileeven when we don't have them.
This is Skipping Stones.
You can find this podcastanywhere you choose to listen to
podcasts.
For more information about me,feel free to visit
skippingstonesr.com.

(07:25):
And if you enjoyed the show,please like or subscribe.
If there is a topic you wouldlike me to speak on, please feel
free to email me at info atskippingstonesr.com.
New episodes will be releasedweekly every Monday.