August 15, 2025 • 37 mins
Ever wish you could walk on stage and instantly connect with your audience, whether it’s a room of five people or a stadium of 50,000?
In this episode, Diane Diaz and I are trying something new: a reaction video to a famous speech. And who better to kick things off than Taylor Swift’s 2022 NYU Commencement Address?
You might think being a global superstar makes Taylor impossible to relate to. But what she does in this speech is exactly what you can do in your own presentations to make your audience lean in, laugh, and feel like you’re speaking directly to them.
We break down three powerful speaking tips for relatability that you can start using right away:
- Self-deprecating humor to lower the pedestal and create connection.
- Knowing your audience: their stage in life, challenges, and what they want next.
- Bridging personal stories to universal themes so your message resonates far beyond the details of your own experience.
Whether you’re delivering a keynote, leading a workshop, or speaking on a panel, these strategies will help you connect, engage, and inspire, no guitar required (unless you have one, then bring it!).
Links:
Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/438/
Watch our video conversation: https://youtu.be/-Mm2_urTF40
Taylor Swift Commencement Address at NYU in 2022: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBG50aoUwlI
Taylor on Travis Kelce’s New Heights podcast in August 2025: https://youtu.be/M2lX9XESvDE?si=r_GL2a_iNf2F_iuJ
Discover your Speaker Archetype by taking our free quiz at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/quiz/
Enroll in our Thought Leader Academy: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/academy/
Connect on LinkedIn:
- Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox
- Diane Diaz = https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediaz/
Related Podcast Episodes:
- Episode 426: Every Talk Needs Humor: Here are 5 Ways to Make Your Audience Laugh
- Episode 398: Storytelling for Leaders: Crafting Narratives that Inspire and Persuade
JOIN US: Our in-person Speaking Accelerator Workshop is coming up in Downtown Orlando on October 30, 2025. Create and practice your signature talk in one day using our proven framework, so you can confidently share your message and attract more opportunities. It's a fun, supportive environment where you get personalized feedback, professional photos, and more. Limited to 15 attendees. Get the details and secure your spot at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/orlando/.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carol Cox:
We're trying something new. (00:00):
undefined
(00:01):
Reactions to big speeches.
This one is Taylor Swift's 2022 NYU
commencement address, and what you can learn
as a speaker on this episode of the Speaking
Your Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office,
(00:23):
and speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political analyst,
entrepreneur, and speaker.
I interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in their
field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
(00:44):
communicate your message to your audience.
Today we're stepping into the world of Taylor
Swift. But instead of analyzing her lyrics or
her music, we're going to break down her
public speaking, including her recent
Appearance on the New Heights podcast,
because even megastars have techniques and
(01:05):
teachable moments that you can use in your
own talks. Now, even before it was announced
that Taylor was going to be on her boyfriend
Travis Kelsey's podcast,
Diane and I had decided that we were going to
analyze the commencement speech that Taylor
delivered at NYU in 2022.
And then we listened to this recent podcast
(01:27):
on new Heights, and we're like, wow, she
actually mentioned that speech,
which she hadn't mentioned any other speeches
that she did. So we're like,
oh, synchronicity.
This was meant to be.
So let me play a clip from her podcast
appearance where she talks about this NYU
speech. And then we're going to dive into
three takeaways that you can use.
No matter what type of presentation or talk
(01:50):
that you're delivering, doesn't have to be a
graduation or commencement speech.
It can be any type of talk because Taylor has
a lot to teach us.
All right, let me cue queue up the podcast
episode here.
I was.
Taylor Swift: In an honorary doctorate from NYU, (02:03):
undefined
and I made the commencement speech,
and I put so many lyrical Easter eggs in that
speech that when the Midnights album came out
after that, the fans were like,
the whole. Speech.
Was an Easter egg.
(02:23):
Yeah. And that's for me.
That's really fun because I.
Because they find it fun.
Carol Cox: All right. So really I go watch the entire (02:29):
undefined
two hour podcast episode.
It is so well worth it.
It was such a delight to hear her talk about
not only getting back her master recordings,
but the Eras tour and everything that she did
on there. Obviously how she and Travis met
and dating and then her new album that she
(02:50):
dropped there on the podcast episode Not
Diane. I know that we have been following
Taylor for quite a while because we not only
enjoy her music, but we really recognize what
a superstar she is when it comes to her brand
and to her business.
She's so intentional about everything that
she does. Yet she's also feels very relatable
(03:12):
and down to earth and like,
literally like even though she is this mega
superstar, probably one,
probably the biggest star in the world
because of the arrows tour. Now that you
really feel like if you just ran into her at
a coffee shop or somehow got invited over to
her house for dinner, it would feel totally
normal and natural.
Diane Diaz: Yes, I feel like she is the most uncool cool (03:31):
undefined
girl that there is, right?
She is. I feel like she's the type of she's a
cool girl because she's Taylor Swift and
she's famous, but she's also that nerdy girl,
right? That became the cool girl,
but she's still nerdy and I love that about
her. And very relatable.
Carol Cox: And in her NYU speech, (03:50):
undefined
she talks about cringe right now,
which we'll talk about here in a little bit
about how, like, we always do things probably
that are cringe at a certain point of our
lives, and we look back and we're like, oh my
God, how could we have done that or worn
that, or said that or,
or whatever, but into something like a trend
or a fad. And so she's very,
very relatable.
(04:11):
And that's what we're going to talk about
here in this episode.
This is a new series that we're starting
where we're going to react to big speeches.
So like Taylor Swift's commencement speech at
NYU, we're also going to look at really well
known Ted talks, Grammy speeches,
Oscars, and so and so on to break down what
(04:32):
really works. So why are these speeches so
compelling and what you can learn to make
your own talks and presentations
unforgettable as well.
And so I'm by the way,
I'm Carol Cox, founder and CEO,
speaking. Your brand in Diaz is our community
lead communication strategist and brand
messaging expert as well.
(04:53):
And so we really enjoy helping our clients
dig into. There are big ideas.
There are content. What are the main
takeaways? What are the lessons that they
want to share with their audience?
How are they going to deliver their talks in
a way that is transformative for their
audiences, that is memorable and that
delivers an experience,
and that's really what the best speakers do.
(05:15):
And so that's the kind of breakdown we're
going to do here. So make sure to hit the
subscribe button if you're watching this on
YouTube. If you're listening to this on the
Speaking Your Brand podcast,
be sure to follow the podcast in your podcast
app so you don't miss future episodes.
And of course, you can hop on over to the
Speaking Your Brand YouTube channel to watch
this on video. If you want to see us and see
(05:36):
Taylor as well as listen to it.
So Diane, here is the we're going to share
three specific tips.
But I think this is the number one takeaway
that I got when I watched Taylor is it's
about a 15 minute graduation speech is that
no matter who you are,
no matter if you have performed 150 shows to
(05:58):
sold out, stadium sized crowds.
You can be relatable to any audience that
you're speaking to.
Now you may think Taylor Swift,
she didn't even go to college. She's so
smart, she's so intelligent,
she's so well read.
But she didn't have a normal college
experience like those graduates at NYU had
(06:20):
who were sitting there in the audience,
so she could imagine what it was like to live
in a college dorm or walk across campus to to
go to class. But she had not personally
experienced that. And here she is instead
jetting around the world on her private
plane, right, going and performing.
And so you may think, well,
how can she relate to anyone in the audience?
(06:41):
But that truly is her superpower is her
relatability, not only through the lyrics
that she writes, but through her performance,
her persona and her speeches and her podcast
appearance as well.
So let's take a look now at these three tips
that we can use for how to be more relatable
(07:01):
to our audiences. So you may not be a big
time celebrity like Taylor Swift.
I don't think any of us are except for her.
But you may come across where,
you know, you have to give a talk to an
audience and you're like, oh,
you know, this audience is I don't they're
not really like me. Or maybe they're younger
than me, or maybe they're older than me, or
maybe it's a completely different industry or
(07:22):
a completely different profession.
Or maybe it is an audience that's very
similar to who you are,
but you still want to come across as
relatable. And so no matter who the audience
is or what size the event is,
these are the three things that you can do.
So the first thing, Diane,
I'm going to have you talk to us about,
(07:43):
because we did a whole podcast episode on
this, which I'll link in the show notes.
It's about using humor in your talks and
specifically self-deprecating humor.
How did you find that?
Taylor did this in her graduation speech.
Diane Diaz: Oh, my gosh, it was so good because I think (07:59):
undefined
she, you know, she.
I'm sure when they came to her with this idea
and she, she mentions in that speech,
by the way, that that NYU speech that she's
pretty sure she was asked to do it because of
her song 22 and it was 2022,
which I think is a really nice tie in and
very smart of NYU to choose her for that.
But I'm sure when this opportunity came her
(08:20):
way, she probably did think,
oh my gosh, like, this is not what I do.
I don't give speeches.
And in fact, she doesn't really do interviews
often. And if ever anymore.
And in On the New Heights podcast,
we learned that was her first podcast. So I'm
sure she felt very much out of her element,
but yet she still did it.
And I think she she used that
(08:43):
self-deprecating humor in the same way that
she has used through any interview I've ever
heard her, where she talks about being the
nerdy kid, you know, feeling kind of out of
place. She even talks about that in some of
her songs, right?
Like, I know in one of her lyrics,
she talks about she feels like everyone is a
sexy baby and she's the monster on the hill.
You're too big to to, um,
(09:05):
hang around and, you know,
lurching forward and like.
So she feels out of place,
right? And so she she talks openly about
that. And I think that's why her audience
loves her and why she gets.
I think Travis mentioned that too,
is what he noticed about her concerts,
is that there were people of all age groups
there, and now she bridges the gap between
(09:26):
all these different age groups and all these
different generations of people,
because she's just a regular girl,
because she talks about not fitting in,
sitting in her room writing music because she
felt alone. Well, what can I do alone in my
room? I can write music.
I can play the piano, I can play the guitar.
So she just tells those stories.
And then when she tells those stories,
we all think back to a time of like,
(09:47):
oh my gosh, I remember that time when I felt
out of place or didn't feel like I fit in.
And now all of a sudden she is me and I am
her, right? Like we are the same person and
and that just draws you into her.
Well, yes, she's a mega millionaire
billionaire, whatever she is,
you know, falling on her private jet. I don't
have that. But still.
(10:08):
Yet she understands me,
right? And so that self-deprecating humor
breaks down that, uh, sort of protective wall
around us for not wanting to feel like we're
we don't fit in and lets us know it's okay,
because she also felt that way. Right? So I
love that she does that.
Carol Cox: And she does. And she does that really well. (10:25):
undefined
She did that in the podcast interview that
she did. So I have a clip I'm gonna play.
This is the very beginning of the
commencement speech, and she does it right
away, which is so important because she is
who she is, and she wants to make sure the
audience knows that she's there with humility
and with gratitude for being there to get
(10:45):
this honorary doctorate and not there to
basically like to tell them,
like here, like basically like wag her
finger, like, I know better than you because
that's not at all how she would be.
All right, let's let me play that clip here.
Taylor Swift: Last time I was in a stadium this size, (10:57):
undefined
I was dancing in heels and wearing a glittery
leotard. This outfit is much more
comfortable. I would like to say a huge thank
you to NYU's chairman of the Board of
Trustees, Bill Berkeley,
(11:17):
and all the trustees and members of the board
NYU President Andrew Hamilton,
Provost Katherine, 90% sure.
The main reason I'm here is because I have a
song called 22.
Carol Cox: All right. So there's that part. (11:39):
undefined
That part where she said,
I'm pretty sure I'm here because I have a
song called 22. So again,
acknowledging that that's a self-deprecating
humor, right? She's acknowledging why she's
there and she's grateful for it.
But like having this little kind of joke at
herself about it.
And here's the other thing that I love,
which is hard for me to do,
(11:59):
is what does she do?
She pauses, and she lets the crowd laugh and
cheer and applaud, and she,
like, lets them have that moment before she
continues on.
Diane Diaz: Yeah, she's so good at that. (12:10):
undefined
I think that probably that skill probably
comes a lot from her, her performances,
because she's very good with audience
engagement and imagine that she's playing to
hundreds of thousands of people not, you
know, 50, 100, 200, 600 like it's a lot of
people. And yet she still makes every person
in that 100,000 person audience feel like
(12:31):
they she is there for them.
And she's very good at engaging with people.
Right. And so I think that skill came in
handy for this particular thing.
Carol Cox: Absolutely. And you know, (12:40):
undefined
what's so for those of you thinking about for
your own presentation and talks,
think of a lighthearted moment or kind of a
quirk that you have or something that you can
laugh at about yourself,
because that will make you more relatable.
And I realize that I just did that by saying
that I'm not good at letting the audience
(13:01):
like, yes, laugh or applaud.
Like I will run off the stage before take in
the taking the applause after a speech.
And I want to get better at that.
But that is a real thing,
like the real thing. That is a challenge for
me to do. So that's that.
That is a little thing where it's
self-deprecating humor. It doesn't ruin your
credibility or you being seen as the
(13:22):
authority or the expert,
but it lets the audience know that you like
like you said earlier, I like taking down
those protective walls that we oftentimes put
up.
Diane Diaz: Yeah, I noticed too, that she is using a (13:30):
undefined
teleprompters and which is of course,
because again, this is not her genre.
So why would she not have teleprompters.
Right. And but she's very comfortable in the
sort of not that it's uncomfortable,
but she's comfortable in the constraints of
that. And she's managing it quite well for
someone who is not.
(13:51):
Yes, she's a performer,
but she's not a speech giver, right? It's a
totally different skill,
and she's doing a great job of it because I
think everybody that's there knows the gig,
right? Like she said, she's asked to do it
because she's got a song called 22. And we
all know she's a performer. She's not a
speech giver. She's not there to tell them
what to do, but she just disarms you with
that, you know, self-deprecating humor and
(14:12):
just, like, calling it out,
right?
Carol Cox: Yes. Okay, I have one another clip of her (14:14):
undefined
with a self-deprecating humor that I think is
a great example. So let me cue that up.
Taylor Swift: Not the type of doctor you would want around (14:22):
undefined
in case of an emergency,
unless your specific emergency was that you
desperately needed to hear a song with a
catchy hook and an intensely cathartic bridge
section.
Diane Diaz: She knows her strengths, right? (14:39):
undefined
Carol Cox: Right. And that's why I picked that clip. (14:41):
undefined
Because even though she's joking about she,
you know, she's getting this honorary
doctorate, she can call herself doctor,
right? Haha. You know, funny.
But she still puts in there her expertise.
Yes. Which is right.
The songwriting and the lyrics and the catchy
hooks and the melody.
So that's the balance.
With self-deprecating humor,
(15:02):
especially as women, is to make sure that,
yes, we can use self-deprecating humor,
but we still want to own our strengths and
will we are really good at.
Diane Diaz: Yes, yes. Love that. (15:11):
undefined
Carol Cox: All right. So that was the key takeaway, (15:13):
undefined
number one, which is use self-deprecating
humor, especially towards the beginning. Or
use any type of humor at the beginning of a
presentation or talk. It really draws the
audience in. And laughter is a great form of
social bonding.
The second thing is to know your audience.
So understand where your audience is.
(15:33):
So what life stage are they in,
or what stage are they in and their business
or their career?
What challenges are they're facing?
What are their aspirations,
their goals? Their hopes?
What do they want for themselves?
So think about what is your audience thinking
about in their heads, like what is
preoccupying them related to what you do,
what what your topic is for your presentation
(15:54):
or your talk. Kind of like kind of what is on
their mind. And so let me play a couple of
clips and then we'll get into this other idea
of also drawing out from your audience.
Things that are kind of like the elephant in
the room that you want to make sure that
you're addressing, whether it's objections or
maybe things that are going on,
even on a more societal level,
that may be important to mention. So I have a
(16:16):
couple of clips here about how important it
is to know your audience.
So let me cue up the first one.
Taylor Swift: As a kid, I always thought I would go away to (16:23):
undefined
college imagining the posters I would hang on
the wall of my freshman dorm.
I even set the ending of my music video for
my song Love Story at my fantasy imaginary
college, where I meet a male model reading a
(16:43):
book on the grass, and with one single
glance, we realized we had been in love in
our past lives.
Carol Cox: Which is exactly. (16:53):
undefined
Taylor Swift: What you guys all experienced at some point (16:54):
undefined
in the last four years, right?
Carol Cox: All right. I love that because again, (17:00):
undefined
like, it's, you know, she's she's drawing a
comparison between herself and then like,
she had this dream to,
you know, imagine going to college. Clearly
she didn't go but the people in the audience
did. So she understands,
you know, kind of what their dreams and their
desires and their hopes would have been.
But they still connecting it back to her
(17:21):
music and why she's there as the commencement
speaker.
Diane Diaz: Mhm. Yeah I love that. (17:25):
undefined
She's um I love that she,
you know, there couldn't be more of a world
of difference between her and the audience
that she's speaking to. And yet she's just
saying, you know, we those are those
universal experiences that we all have. It
doesn't matter whether you're mega rich or
not. You go into college,
not going to college.
Those are universal experiences that dreaming
(17:47):
as a teenager or, you know,
or that certain age dreaming about that
meeting that perfect guy or girl.
Like we all have those things,
right? And so I love that she's just calling
that out because I think she she builds
greater credibility with them when she says,
you know, I maybe I didn't maybe I'm not in
college and wasn't in college,
but yet I get it.
(18:07):
Like we have all had this experience.
Yes.
Carol Cox: So the other thing that she does, (18:11):
undefined
as far as in her speech itself,
and this is not related to kind of the bigger
takeaway relatability,
but it is good, structurally wise,
that she does have a beginning, middle and
end of a talk.
And now you may be thinking,
well, that's obvious.
Duh. Every speech has a beginning,
middle and end. You would think so.
But just because you start and then you have
(18:31):
a section and then you have the end doesn't
mean you have a beginning, middle and end.
Diane Diaz: You know, sometimes they meander and it's (18:35):
undefined
very confusing. Yes.
Carol Cox: Just like songs, you can say, (18:38):
undefined
well, a song. I heard musical notes at the
beginning and then the musical notes started,
stopped at the end. Doesn't mean that it's a
song like you have to have structure just
like Taylor Swift has structure to her songs,
so she has a clear beginning where she,
you know, starts, she does her thank yous and
acknowledgments to the people who are there,
which is standard for a commencement speech.
(18:59):
And then she kind of gets into the,
you know, the, the what it would be like to
go to college and writing her songs.
And then she says she has some life hacks.
Yeah, some lessons for the audience.
So she teased them up like,
I'm going to share some some of these life
hacks, she says. I don't want to call it
advice because I don't like unsolicited
advice. But she has this life hack,
so she shares the the one thing about like,
(19:19):
life can be heavy, catch and release,
you know, that kind of thing. And then she
has a second life hack,
and I'm going to play the beginning of that
part here.
Taylor Swift: Secondly, learn to live alongside cringe. (19:28):
undefined
No matter how hard you try to avoid being
cringe, you will look back on your life and
cringe retrospectively.
(19:57):
Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime.
Even the term cringe might someday be deemed
cringe.
Carol Cox: All right. Again, I love that because she's (20:06):
undefined
acknowledging what so especially for younger
people who have lived so much of their life
online. Like Diane, we're lucky that probably
during the days when we would have followed
fads, we wouldn't wait.
Diane Diaz: There's no evidence of it. (20:21):
undefined
Carol Cox: Social media, we don't have to worry about (20:22):
undefined
any of that. So whatever it was,
cringe. There's no proof of it whatsoever.
But obviously younger people,
they do have a lot of proof. So I love,
again, like knowing your audience, knowing
that that's an experience that they probably
had, you know, cringe is a thing you hear a
lot online.
So she's relating to where the audience is
at.
Diane Diaz: I like how she's using their language too, (20:41):
undefined
because she's they're 22.
She's 35, right?
Or at that point, probably she was. That was
three years. 32.
Right. So I mean, that's quite an age
difference. So she but she's using the
language in vernacular they would use so that
it's very relatable to them.
Yet she's still instilling the lessons that
(21:01):
she's had. So but yet they're going to
understand it because she's putting it in the
terms they get.
Yes.
Carol Cox: That's a great point. (21:07):
undefined
Yes. So that's a great point.
Thinking about that again, relating to your
audience to think about the terminology that
they use. So maybe you're not talking to
teenagers or college students,
but you're talking to people in a certain
industry or a certain type of business,
then you don't want to.
I mean, you could use their jargon if you
know of that. It would be kind of funny to
(21:28):
them that you're saying it because you're not
in their industry or because you know that
that's going to be something that they really
connect with. Likewise,
or on the flip side, don't use jargon that's
particular to what you do to an audience that
is not familiar with it.
Diane Diaz: Right, right. Yes. Yeah. (21:42):
undefined
You really have to understand the audience
and read the room, to write and know how to
relate. I spoke to a group of it was actually
middle school and high schoolers recently,
and I really had to put a lot of effort into
because I don't talk to children and I needed
to like, dial down the professional tone of
(22:03):
the personal brand talk and make it
approachable and relatable to that age group.
But, you know, you really have to think.
And that's just an extreme example.
But it's true. No matter who you're speaking
to, you have to change your delivery and
change your wording and change the stories so
that they relate to it so it's meaningful to
them. Otherwise it's not going to land.
Carol Cox: Yeah. You have to think about what are their (22:23):
undefined
goals, what do they want for themselves?
Where are they at in their life?
What what is kind of getting in their way or
what are their thought processes? What are
they concerned about?
So you're still talking about personal
branding, which you would do with a business
audience of of women.
But you can also do it for younger people.
You just have to shift what they are,
(22:43):
what they're focused on?
Diane Diaz: Yes. (22:44):
undefined
Carol Cox: Yes. All right, so I have one more clip on (22:45):
undefined
this section about knowing your audience. And
this might be my favorite part,
because Diane and I know that we have talked
a lot about on the Speaking Your Brand
podcast and our Thought Leader Academy with
our clients about when you have a personal
story, you absolutely should share it with
your audience. If it relates to your overall
message or the lessons that you want to
(23:07):
impart to the people who are in the room.
But oftentimes people our clients are like,
well, but what?
How does my story connect to what I'm saying?
Or I don't really, you know,
I'm just going to share my story and then
what happens next? So what we say is that you
have to take your story and universalize it.
So it's the personal to the universal,
the me to the you or the me to the we.
(23:30):
And of course, no surprise Taylor does this
so expertly. So let me bring up that clip.
Taylor Swift: I've made and released 11 albums and in the (23:36):
undefined
process switched genre from country to pop to
alternative to folk.
And this might sound like a very songwriter
centric line of discussion,
but in a way, I really do think we are all
(23:57):
writers, and most of us write in a different
voice for different situations.
You write differently in your Instagram
stories than you do your senior thesis.
You send a different type of email to your
boss than you do your best friend from home.
We are all literary chameleons and I think
(24:17):
it's fascinating.
Carol Cox: All right. So again like. (24:19):
undefined
Diane Diaz: So smart. (24:21):
undefined
Carol Cox: Very much recognizing that yes, (24:22):
undefined
she's talking about her creative process,
which is actually good for her to share in a
speech because people do want a little to
know a little bit about what you do as a
person. They don't want it to.
They want it to be about them,
but they also want to learn about you because
that's how you're a reflection.
You're a mirror for them.
So when she's talking earlier in that clip,
(24:44):
before I started in about her creative
process and why songwriting is so meaningful
to her. But then she's like, okay, well,
obviously most of the people in this audience
are not songwriters. Maybe some of them are,
but most of them are. So she immediately
connects to. But we're all writers in our
lives, and we all write for in different
voices, for different purposes,
for different reasons.
(25:04):
And I think that is such,
such an expert example of this idea of
knowing your audience, but then taking the
personal story to the universal.
Diane Diaz: Yeah. And I think she actually, (25:13):
undefined
I feel like does that with her music too,
because her she tells I mean,
obviously most of her songs are based on
things that happened in her life. And yet
when you listen to them,
you know, you can't necessarily apply every
song to your own life, but you can find
little nuggets in each song that you're like,
yeah, I kind of get that idea,
or I get that concept, or I get that instance
(25:35):
where that could happen and I, oh, I've been
through something similar. Right. So she
tells very personal, I know I believe one of
the critiques of her Tortured Poets
Department album was that it was just all
about her. And I'm like,
well, yeah, but it's being about her.
Her audience understands.
It's about also about them,
right? Like it's about her,
(25:55):
but it's about us through her.
Right? I think her audience now knows that.
And so she writes about her.
But then we feel it ourselves,
about ourselves.
And so anybody that knows anything about her
kind of gets that. But she did it very
masterfully here in this speech.
Right? Very deliberately. And I think, too,
because it is a different setting than a song
(26:16):
that she's writing. Right.
That you're just going to listen to without
her there. She's actually telling you,
here's the thing, and here's why that thing
is relatable for you.
Carol Cox: Diane, let's talk about objections. (26:27):
undefined
And again, I know a lot of times when we're
working our own presentations, when we're
working with clients, I'll often say to them
in our VIP days and I'll say,
okay, so what do you think people in the
audience are thinking to themselves right
now? So because they'll say our clients will
say something like, well,
but what if they've already heard this
before? What if what if they've they've tried
(26:49):
this and they didn't work or whatever it
happens to be? Yes.
And so I say, well, then say that literally.
Say that out loud. Say to your audience,
well, you may have tried this before and,
you know, show me, you know, show of hands.
How many of you tried this and it didn't
work? Okay. Well, let's we're going to try a
different kind of approach to it or.
Okay. So now you all may be thinking that x,
(27:10):
y, z. So literally say out loud what you
think the audience is saying in their head.
So Diane, how does Taylor do this in her
commencement address?
Diane Diaz: Yeah, she you know, one of the things she (27:18):
undefined
does at the very beginning is she addresses
the huge elephant in the room is that these
graduates just went through going to college
during a global pandemic.
And so she's letting them know,
like, yeah, it was weird.
You, you, you know, I think because also
because she's very up here with like she
(27:39):
lives in a completely different world than
us. So does she completely understand what it
was like to go to college at all?
Especially during a global pandemic? No,
but she understands there was a global
pandemic. You all had an experience that was
atypical for college people.
I get it right.
It was a strange experience.
And you probably you all made it through
that. You dealt with that. But it was a
(27:59):
thing. So she calls it out at the beginning.
So I think that that sort of disarms the it
actually shortens the distance between us and
her. Right. Like, so that we don't feel like
if she's not going to get this, like she not
only did she not go to college, but there was
a pandemic and I had to go to college. No,
she's saying like, I get it, you went to
college during a pandemic,
right? And so she she just puts right out
(28:20):
there. It is. It is an old sales technique.
Right. To state the objections.
Like, you know, I know this this XYZ product
or service seems really expensive.
And you're I'm sure your budget budgets are
tight right now. Like I get it,
but blah blah blah.
Right. So that is what she does.
She she sells them the idea of what she's
(28:40):
going to talk about and says, listen, I know
you went through a pandemic,
but I'm going to share some hacks with you,
right? So she I love that she just states it
outright because we all they all know that.
Carol Cox: Well, it would feel weird if she didn't (28:52):
undefined
address it because again, now in 2025,
you wouldn't be addressing it because people
are like, no, I don't want to talk about the
pandemic. But in May of 2022,
very much, it was still top of mind for
everyone. And it was so central to their
college experience.
And if she hadn't addressed it,
and if you were as a speaker,
(29:13):
if there's something going on,
you know, discernment plays a role here.
But if you don't address something that is
really like top of mind for the audience,
it's going to feel like you literally took
your speech off the shelf.
Yes, Matt, it memorized.
Diane Diaz: And yeah. (29:29):
undefined
Carol Cox: Right click play on yourself. (29:30):
undefined
Yes. And you just said the whole thing and it
feels inauthentic and genuine.
Yeah. When that happens.
Diane Diaz: I think she is probably one of the best (29:40):
undefined
people at addressing timely things that are
going on with her audience,
because she and she's not a person who's out
there. She doesn't do a lot of interviews.
She doesn't. She's not on social media.
She she, of course, has social media, social
media presence, but she's not on there.
(30:01):
And so when she addresses something,
she does address instances like she there was
I think her concerts in Vienna had to be
cancelled because there was some sort of a,
um, bomb threat or something.
So they had to cancel all the shows.
Now she of course she has to address that,
but it is. So, um, of course she has a team
(30:21):
helping her with this, but I think she is the
leader of that message.
And it's. You can tell when the message comes
out that it's very Taylor Swift,
right? It's full of caring.
And so I'm sure when she's crafting this
speech, she's aware, like,
what have these young people been through?
Right. Like, what have they been through?
What have they been dealing with? That I need
(30:42):
to just make sure I say like,
yeah, I get it.
You've gone through this and this and this,
right? So I think she's very good at that.
Very good at that.
Carol Cox: I am sure she wrote this speech. (30:51):
undefined
She probably had her mom or someone kind of,
you know, just like she does with anything,
probably get some, some feedback on it to
tighten it up and to make it better.
But as a writer, I'm sure.
Diane Diaz: Oh my God. (31:03):
undefined
Carol Cox: I'm. (31:04):
undefined
Diane Diaz: Sure she wrote it. Yeah. (31:04):
undefined
Carol Cox: And you can tell. All right. (31:06):
undefined
So so then that was so kind of number two,
knowing your audience and then bridging the
personal story to universal themes is number
three. But they're very much closely
connected together. So let me play another
clip. And this is getting towards maybe like
a little over halfway through her talk where
she talks about perfectionism and now
(31:27):
perfectionism. Perfectionism is really the
core of this speech that she wants the
college grads to learn from her own struggles
with Perfectionism and being this young
female role model, especially in those like
mid 2000 to late 2000 era when like the
tabloids and the TMZ websites were just
brutal, especially when it came to younger
(31:50):
women, celebrities and the public eye.
And about this idea of of it's okay to make
mistakes. It's okay to be vulnerable.
Like things are going to happen. You're not
going to be perfect and to learn from it.
So let me play a couple of clips from that.
Taylor Swift: See, I was a teenager at a time when our (32:04):
undefined
society was absolutely obsessed with the idea
of having perfect young female role models.
Speaker4: It felt like. (32:17):
undefined
Taylor Swift: Every interview I did included slight barbs (32:18):
undefined
by the interviewer about me one day running
off the rails, and that meant a different
thing to every person who said it to me.
So I became a young adult while being fed the
message that if I didn't make any mistakes.
(32:39):
All the children of America would grow up to
be perfect angels.
However, if I did slip up,
the entire earth would fall off its axis and
it would be entirely my fault.
And I would go to pop star jail forever and
ever.
Carol Cox: All right, let me jump ahead. So she kind of (32:58):
undefined
tees up this idea of feeling this,
this very heavy weight and burden of being
perfect so that, you know,
not only for like the children of the world,
not that, but for her career.
Like, let's be real like she. And again,
the, the press and the industry are,
you know, are very hard, especially on young
women. So she wanted to make sure she had a
(33:19):
thriving career. So let me jump ahead a
little bit here to how she kind of bridges
this idea of her own personal story of
perfectionism.
Taylor Swift: I know the pressure of living your life (33:28):
undefined
through the lens of perfectionism,
and I know that I'm talking to a group of
perfectionists because you are here today
graduating from NYU.
So this might be hard for you to hear in your
(33:51):
life. You will inevitably misspeak.
Trust the wrong person under react,
overreact, hurt the people who didn't deserve
it. Overthink.
Not think at all.
Self-sabotage.
Create a reality where only your experience
(34:12):
exists. Ruin perfectly good moments for
yourself and others.
Deny any wrongdoing.
Not take the steps to make it right.
Feel very guilty.
Let the guilt eat at you.
Hit rock bottom.
Finally address the pain you caused.
Try to do better next time.
Rinse, repeat.
Carol Cox: All right. So super relatable, (34:36):
undefined
right?
Diane Diaz: I feel like. (34:39):
undefined
Carol Cox: She hit the mall that we, (34:40):
undefined
everyone in the audience has had.
Diane Diaz: We've all been on that train. (34:42):
undefined
Carol Cox: All of that. Right? Yeah. (34:44):
undefined
So again, like taking that personal
experience that she had because most people
in that audience and certainly us, like we
weren't teenagers in the public eye like she
was when she was a teenager.
But we've all had those experiences of
perfectionism, wanting perfectionism,
and then the mistakes that happen.
Diane Diaz: Yeah, I love that. She how? (35:04):
undefined
It's like, well, you know,
here she is, this big famous person.
She's been through it, but she's also letting
everybody and they all know we've all been
through that. But she's letting them know
everybody's going through. This is just it's
not abnormal. This is going and it's going to
happen again because that's life.
Carol Cox: Yeah. So for as you're working on your own (35:21):
undefined
presentations and talks,
think about for your own personal stories and
you should include personal stories in your
talks, even if you are doing a,
you know, a quote unquote business topic or
it's a business audience,
personal stories as you've seen here.
Connect you with your audience in a deeper
way. They let the audience know that they're
(35:42):
not alone, that you validate and empathize
the experience that they're having as well,
that you're not putting yourself on a
pedestal. So you may have be a few steps
ahead of them as far as in life or in the
stage that you're in and your business or
career, but you're there to kind of take them
along the journey as well.
And so think about for as you're working on
(36:03):
your talks, is how can you use
self-deprecating humor in an appropriate way,
but in a way that that brings your audience
in? How can you let the audience know that
you understand where they're at,
their goals, their aspirations?
Also any challenges that they're faced with
right now and then bridge those personal
stories to the universal by shifting from me
(36:27):
to you. So just a lot of times it's just
shifting. The language can be done really
easily. And so we hope that you've enjoyed
this first reaction video that we have done.
Let us know in the comments.
If you like us to do more,
we have more ideas planned.
We'd love to know what you thought about it,
what else you would like for us to do?
(36:47):
Are there any speeches in particular that you
have in mind that you would like to know?
Yeah, let us know.
It could be someone famous or it doesn't have
to be anyone famous.
It could just be one that you thought was
well done. And then we could pick out why it
was so well done.
So drop your thoughts in the comments and
again, make sure to hit subscribe here on the
(37:08):
YouTube channel so that you don't miss a
future episodes. And make sure to follow the
Speaking Your Brand podcast.
And of course, if you would like to learn
more about what we do here. Speaking your
brand, go to speaking your brand.
Dot com. Diane, thank you so much for joining
today.
Diane Diaz: Yes, of course it was fun. I love Taylor (37:23):
undefined
Swift. So my pleasure it was.
Carol Cox: And thanks everyone for watching. (37:27):
undefined
Until next time. We'll see you then.
undefined
(00:01):
Reactions to big speeches.
This one is Taylor Swift's 2022 NYU
commencement address, and what you can learn
as a speaker on this episode of the Speaking
Your Brand podcast.
More and more women are making an impact by
starting businesses, running for office,
(00:23):
and speaking up for what matters.
With my background as a TV political analyst,
entrepreneur, and speaker.
I interview and coach purpose driven women to
shape their brands, grow their companies,
and become recognized as influencers in their
field. This is speaking your brand,
your place to learn how to persuasively
(00:44):
communicate your message to your audience.
Today we're stepping into the world of Taylor
Swift. But instead of analyzing her lyrics or
her music, we're going to break down her
public speaking, including her recent
Appearance on the New Heights podcast,
because even megastars have techniques and
(01:05):
teachable moments that you can use in your
own talks. Now, even before it was announced
that Taylor was going to be on her boyfriend
Travis Kelsey's podcast,
Diane and I had decided that we were going to
analyze the commencement speech that Taylor
delivered at NYU in 2022.
And then we listened to this recent podcast
(01:27):
on new Heights, and we're like, wow, she
actually mentioned that speech,
which she hadn't mentioned any other speeches
that she did. So we're like,
oh, synchronicity.
This was meant to be.
So let me play a clip from her podcast
appearance where she talks about this NYU
speech. And then we're going to dive into
three takeaways that you can use.
No matter what type of presentation or talk
(01:50):
that you're delivering, doesn't have to be a
graduation or commencement speech.
It can be any type of talk because Taylor has
a lot to teach us.
All right, let me cue queue up the podcast
episode here.
I was.
Taylor Swift: In an honorary doctorate from NYU, (02:03):
undefined
and I made the commencement speech,
and I put so many lyrical Easter eggs in that
speech that when the Midnights album came out
after that, the fans were like,
the whole. Speech.
Was an Easter egg.
(02:23):
Yeah. And that's for me.
That's really fun because I.
Because they find it fun.
Carol Cox: All right. So really I go watch the entire (02:29):
undefined
two hour podcast episode.
It is so well worth it.
It was such a delight to hear her talk about
not only getting back her master recordings,
but the Eras tour and everything that she did
on there. Obviously how she and Travis met
and dating and then her new album that she
(02:50):
dropped there on the podcast episode Not
Diane. I know that we have been following
Taylor for quite a while because we not only
enjoy her music, but we really recognize what
a superstar she is when it comes to her brand
and to her business.
She's so intentional about everything that
she does. Yet she's also feels very relatable
(03:12):
and down to earth and like,
literally like even though she is this mega
superstar, probably one,
probably the biggest star in the world
because of the arrows tour. Now that you
really feel like if you just ran into her at
a coffee shop or somehow got invited over to
her house for dinner, it would feel totally
normal and natural.
Diane Diaz: Yes, I feel like she is the most uncool cool (03:31):
undefined
girl that there is, right?
She is. I feel like she's the type of she's a
cool girl because she's Taylor Swift and
she's famous, but she's also that nerdy girl,
right? That became the cool girl,
but she's still nerdy and I love that about
her. And very relatable.
Carol Cox: And in her NYU speech, (03:50):
undefined
she talks about cringe right now,
which we'll talk about here in a little bit
about how, like, we always do things probably
that are cringe at a certain point of our
lives, and we look back and we're like, oh my
God, how could we have done that or worn
that, or said that or,
or whatever, but into something like a trend
or a fad. And so she's very,
very relatable.
(04:11):
And that's what we're going to talk about
here in this episode.
This is a new series that we're starting
where we're going to react to big speeches.
So like Taylor Swift's commencement speech at
NYU, we're also going to look at really well
known Ted talks, Grammy speeches,
Oscars, and so and so on to break down what
(04:32):
really works. So why are these speeches so
compelling and what you can learn to make
your own talks and presentations
unforgettable as well.
And so I'm by the way,
I'm Carol Cox, founder and CEO,
speaking. Your brand in Diaz is our community
lead communication strategist and brand
messaging expert as well.
(04:53):
And so we really enjoy helping our clients
dig into. There are big ideas.
There are content. What are the main
takeaways? What are the lessons that they
want to share with their audience?
How are they going to deliver their talks in
a way that is transformative for their
audiences, that is memorable and that
delivers an experience,
and that's really what the best speakers do.
(05:15):
And so that's the kind of breakdown we're
going to do here. So make sure to hit the
subscribe button if you're watching this on
YouTube. If you're listening to this on the
Speaking Your Brand podcast,
be sure to follow the podcast in your podcast
app so you don't miss future episodes.
And of course, you can hop on over to the
Speaking Your Brand YouTube channel to watch
this on video. If you want to see us and see
(05:36):
Taylor as well as listen to it.
So Diane, here is the we're going to share
three specific tips.
But I think this is the number one takeaway
that I got when I watched Taylor is it's
about a 15 minute graduation speech is that
no matter who you are,
no matter if you have performed 150 shows to
(05:58):
sold out, stadium sized crowds.
You can be relatable to any audience that
you're speaking to.
Now you may think Taylor Swift,
she didn't even go to college. She's so
smart, she's so intelligent,
she's so well read.
But she didn't have a normal college
experience like those graduates at NYU had
(06:20):
who were sitting there in the audience,
so she could imagine what it was like to live
in a college dorm or walk across campus to to
go to class. But she had not personally
experienced that. And here she is instead
jetting around the world on her private
plane, right, going and performing.
And so you may think, well,
how can she relate to anyone in the audience?
(06:41):
But that truly is her superpower is her
relatability, not only through the lyrics
that she writes, but through her performance,
her persona and her speeches and her podcast
appearance as well.
So let's take a look now at these three tips
that we can use for how to be more relatable
(07:01):
to our audiences. So you may not be a big
time celebrity like Taylor Swift.
I don't think any of us are except for her.
But you may come across where,
you know, you have to give a talk to an
audience and you're like, oh,
you know, this audience is I don't they're
not really like me. Or maybe they're younger
than me, or maybe they're older than me, or
maybe it's a completely different industry or
(07:22):
a completely different profession.
Or maybe it is an audience that's very
similar to who you are,
but you still want to come across as
relatable. And so no matter who the audience
is or what size the event is,
these are the three things that you can do.
So the first thing, Diane,
I'm going to have you talk to us about,
(07:43):
because we did a whole podcast episode on
this, which I'll link in the show notes.
It's about using humor in your talks and
specifically self-deprecating humor.
How did you find that?
Taylor did this in her graduation speech.
Diane Diaz: Oh, my gosh, it was so good because I think (07:59):
undefined
she, you know, she.
I'm sure when they came to her with this idea
and she, she mentions in that speech,
by the way, that that NYU speech that she's
pretty sure she was asked to do it because of
her song 22 and it was 2022,
which I think is a really nice tie in and
very smart of NYU to choose her for that.
But I'm sure when this opportunity came her
(08:20):
way, she probably did think,
oh my gosh, like, this is not what I do.
I don't give speeches.
And in fact, she doesn't really do interviews
often. And if ever anymore.
And in On the New Heights podcast,
we learned that was her first podcast. So I'm
sure she felt very much out of her element,
but yet she still did it.
And I think she she used that
(08:43):
self-deprecating humor in the same way that
she has used through any interview I've ever
heard her, where she talks about being the
nerdy kid, you know, feeling kind of out of
place. She even talks about that in some of
her songs, right?
Like, I know in one of her lyrics,
she talks about she feels like everyone is a
sexy baby and she's the monster on the hill.
You're too big to to, um,
(09:05):
hang around and, you know,
lurching forward and like.
So she feels out of place,
right? And so she she talks openly about
that. And I think that's why her audience
loves her and why she gets.
I think Travis mentioned that too,
is what he noticed about her concerts,
is that there were people of all age groups
there, and now she bridges the gap between
(09:26):
all these different age groups and all these
different generations of people,
because she's just a regular girl,
because she talks about not fitting in,
sitting in her room writing music because she
felt alone. Well, what can I do alone in my
room? I can write music.
I can play the piano, I can play the guitar.
So she just tells those stories.
And then when she tells those stories,
we all think back to a time of like,
(09:47):
oh my gosh, I remember that time when I felt
out of place or didn't feel like I fit in.
And now all of a sudden she is me and I am
her, right? Like we are the same person and
and that just draws you into her.
Well, yes, she's a mega millionaire
billionaire, whatever she is,
you know, falling on her private jet. I don't
have that. But still.
(10:08):
Yet she understands me,
right? And so that self-deprecating humor
breaks down that, uh, sort of protective wall
around us for not wanting to feel like we're
we don't fit in and lets us know it's okay,
because she also felt that way. Right? So I
love that she does that.
Carol Cox: And she does. And she does that really well. (10:25):
undefined
She did that in the podcast interview that
she did. So I have a clip I'm gonna play.
This is the very beginning of the
commencement speech, and she does it right
away, which is so important because she is
who she is, and she wants to make sure the
audience knows that she's there with humility
and with gratitude for being there to get
(10:45):
this honorary doctorate and not there to
basically like to tell them,
like here, like basically like wag her
finger, like, I know better than you because
that's not at all how she would be.
All right, let's let me play that clip here.
Taylor Swift: Last time I was in a stadium this size, (10:57):
undefined
I was dancing in heels and wearing a glittery
leotard. This outfit is much more
comfortable. I would like to say a huge thank
you to NYU's chairman of the Board of
Trustees, Bill Berkeley,
(11:17):
and all the trustees and members of the board
NYU President Andrew Hamilton,
Provost Katherine, 90% sure.
The main reason I'm here is because I have a
song called 22.
Carol Cox: All right. So there's that part. (11:39):
undefined
That part where she said,
I'm pretty sure I'm here because I have a
song called 22. So again,
acknowledging that that's a self-deprecating
humor, right? She's acknowledging why she's
there and she's grateful for it.
But like having this little kind of joke at
herself about it.
And here's the other thing that I love,
which is hard for me to do,
(11:59):
is what does she do?
She pauses, and she lets the crowd laugh and
cheer and applaud, and she,
like, lets them have that moment before she
continues on.
Diane Diaz: Yeah, she's so good at that. (12:10):
undefined
I think that probably that skill probably
comes a lot from her, her performances,
because she's very good with audience
engagement and imagine that she's playing to
hundreds of thousands of people not, you
know, 50, 100, 200, 600 like it's a lot of
people. And yet she still makes every person
in that 100,000 person audience feel like
(12:31):
they she is there for them.
And she's very good at engaging with people.
Right. And so I think that skill came in
handy for this particular thing.
Carol Cox: Absolutely. And you know, (12:40):
undefined
what's so for those of you thinking about for
your own presentation and talks,
think of a lighthearted moment or kind of a
quirk that you have or something that you can
laugh at about yourself,
because that will make you more relatable.
And I realize that I just did that by saying
that I'm not good at letting the audience
(13:01):
like, yes, laugh or applaud.
Like I will run off the stage before take in
the taking the applause after a speech.
And I want to get better at that.
But that is a real thing,
like the real thing. That is a challenge for
me to do. So that's that.
That is a little thing where it's
self-deprecating humor. It doesn't ruin your
credibility or you being seen as the
(13:22):
authority or the expert,
but it lets the audience know that you like
like you said earlier, I like taking down
those protective walls that we oftentimes put
up.
Diane Diaz: Yeah, I noticed too, that she is using a (13:30):
undefined
teleprompters and which is of course,
because again, this is not her genre.
So why would she not have teleprompters.
Right. And but she's very comfortable in the
sort of not that it's uncomfortable,
but she's comfortable in the constraints of
that. And she's managing it quite well for
someone who is not.
(13:51):
Yes, she's a performer,
but she's not a speech giver, right? It's a
totally different skill,
and she's doing a great job of it because I
think everybody that's there knows the gig,
right? Like she said, she's asked to do it
because she's got a song called 22. And we
all know she's a performer. She's not a
speech giver. She's not there to tell them
what to do, but she just disarms you with
that, you know, self-deprecating humor and
(14:12):
just, like, calling it out,
right?
Carol Cox: Yes. Okay, I have one another clip of her (14:14):
undefined
with a self-deprecating humor that I think is
a great example. So let me cue that up.
Taylor Swift: Not the type of doctor you would want around (14:22):
undefined
in case of an emergency,
unless your specific emergency was that you
desperately needed to hear a song with a
catchy hook and an intensely cathartic bridge
section.
Diane Diaz: She knows her strengths, right? (14:39):
undefined
Carol Cox: Right. And that's why I picked that clip. (14:41):
undefined
Because even though she's joking about she,
you know, she's getting this honorary
doctorate, she can call herself doctor,
right? Haha. You know, funny.
But she still puts in there her expertise.
Yes. Which is right.
The songwriting and the lyrics and the catchy
hooks and the melody.
So that's the balance.
With self-deprecating humor,
(15:02):
especially as women, is to make sure that,
yes, we can use self-deprecating humor,
but we still want to own our strengths and
will we are really good at.
Diane Diaz: Yes, yes. Love that. (15:11):
undefined
Carol Cox: All right. So that was the key takeaway, (15:13):
undefined
number one, which is use self-deprecating
humor, especially towards the beginning. Or
use any type of humor at the beginning of a
presentation or talk. It really draws the
audience in. And laughter is a great form of
social bonding.
The second thing is to know your audience.
So understand where your audience is.
(15:33):
So what life stage are they in,
or what stage are they in and their business
or their career?
What challenges are they're facing?
What are their aspirations,
their goals? Their hopes?
What do they want for themselves?
So think about what is your audience thinking
about in their heads, like what is
preoccupying them related to what you do,
what what your topic is for your presentation
(15:54):
or your talk. Kind of like kind of what is on
their mind. And so let me play a couple of
clips and then we'll get into this other idea
of also drawing out from your audience.
Things that are kind of like the elephant in
the room that you want to make sure that
you're addressing, whether it's objections or
maybe things that are going on,
even on a more societal level,
that may be important to mention. So I have a
(16:16):
couple of clips here about how important it
is to know your audience.
So let me cue up the first one.
Taylor Swift: As a kid, I always thought I would go away to (16:23):
undefined
college imagining the posters I would hang on
the wall of my freshman dorm.
I even set the ending of my music video for
my song Love Story at my fantasy imaginary
college, where I meet a male model reading a
(16:43):
book on the grass, and with one single
glance, we realized we had been in love in
our past lives.
Carol Cox: Which is exactly. (16:53):
undefined
Taylor Swift: What you guys all experienced at some point (16:54):
undefined
in the last four years, right?
Carol Cox: All right. I love that because again, (17:00):
undefined
like, it's, you know, she's she's drawing a
comparison between herself and then like,
she had this dream to,
you know, imagine going to college. Clearly
she didn't go but the people in the audience
did. So she understands,
you know, kind of what their dreams and their
desires and their hopes would have been.
But they still connecting it back to her
(17:21):
music and why she's there as the commencement
speaker.
Diane Diaz: Mhm. Yeah I love that. (17:25):
undefined
She's um I love that she,
you know, there couldn't be more of a world
of difference between her and the audience
that she's speaking to. And yet she's just
saying, you know, we those are those
universal experiences that we all have. It
doesn't matter whether you're mega rich or
not. You go into college,
not going to college.
Those are universal experiences that dreaming
(17:47):
as a teenager or, you know,
or that certain age dreaming about that
meeting that perfect guy or girl.
Like we all have those things,
right? And so I love that she's just calling
that out because I think she she builds
greater credibility with them when she says,
you know, I maybe I didn't maybe I'm not in
college and wasn't in college,
but yet I get it.
(18:07):
Like we have all had this experience.
Yes.
Carol Cox: So the other thing that she does, (18:11):
undefined
as far as in her speech itself,
and this is not related to kind of the bigger
takeaway relatability,
but it is good, structurally wise,
that she does have a beginning, middle and
end of a talk.
And now you may be thinking,
well, that's obvious.
Duh. Every speech has a beginning,
middle and end. You would think so.
But just because you start and then you have
(18:31):
a section and then you have the end doesn't
mean you have a beginning, middle and end.
Diane Diaz: You know, sometimes they meander and it's (18:35):
undefined
very confusing. Yes.
Carol Cox: Just like songs, you can say, (18:38):
undefined
well, a song. I heard musical notes at the
beginning and then the musical notes started,
stopped at the end. Doesn't mean that it's a
song like you have to have structure just
like Taylor Swift has structure to her songs,
so she has a clear beginning where she,
you know, starts, she does her thank yous and
acknowledgments to the people who are there,
which is standard for a commencement speech.
(18:59):
And then she kind of gets into the,
you know, the, the what it would be like to
go to college and writing her songs.
And then she says she has some life hacks.
Yeah, some lessons for the audience.
So she teased them up like,
I'm going to share some some of these life
hacks, she says. I don't want to call it
advice because I don't like unsolicited
advice. But she has this life hack,
so she shares the the one thing about like,
(19:19):
life can be heavy, catch and release,
you know, that kind of thing. And then she
has a second life hack,
and I'm going to play the beginning of that
part here.
Taylor Swift: Secondly, learn to live alongside cringe. (19:28):
undefined
No matter how hard you try to avoid being
cringe, you will look back on your life and
cringe retrospectively.
(19:57):
Cringe is unavoidable over a lifetime.
Even the term cringe might someday be deemed
cringe.
Carol Cox: All right. Again, I love that because she's (20:06):
undefined
acknowledging what so especially for younger
people who have lived so much of their life
online. Like Diane, we're lucky that probably
during the days when we would have followed
fads, we wouldn't wait.
Diane Diaz: There's no evidence of it. (20:21):
undefined
Carol Cox: Social media, we don't have to worry about (20:22):
undefined
any of that. So whatever it was,
cringe. There's no proof of it whatsoever.
But obviously younger people,
they do have a lot of proof. So I love,
again, like knowing your audience, knowing
that that's an experience that they probably
had, you know, cringe is a thing you hear a
lot online.
So she's relating to where the audience is
at.
Diane Diaz: I like how she's using their language too, (20:41):
undefined
because she's they're 22.
She's 35, right?
Or at that point, probably she was. That was
three years. 32.
Right. So I mean, that's quite an age
difference. So she but she's using the
language in vernacular they would use so that
it's very relatable to them.
Yet she's still instilling the lessons that
(21:01):
she's had. So but yet they're going to
understand it because she's putting it in the
terms they get.
Yes.
Carol Cox: That's a great point. (21:07):
undefined
Yes. So that's a great point.
Thinking about that again, relating to your
audience to think about the terminology that
they use. So maybe you're not talking to
teenagers or college students,
but you're talking to people in a certain
industry or a certain type of business,
then you don't want to.
I mean, you could use their jargon if you
know of that. It would be kind of funny to
(21:28):
them that you're saying it because you're not
in their industry or because you know that
that's going to be something that they really
connect with. Likewise,
or on the flip side, don't use jargon that's
particular to what you do to an audience that
is not familiar with it.
Diane Diaz: Right, right. Yes. Yeah. (21:42):
undefined
You really have to understand the audience
and read the room, to write and know how to
relate. I spoke to a group of it was actually
middle school and high schoolers recently,
and I really had to put a lot of effort into
because I don't talk to children and I needed
to like, dial down the professional tone of
(22:03):
the personal brand talk and make it
approachable and relatable to that age group.
But, you know, you really have to think.
And that's just an extreme example.
But it's true. No matter who you're speaking
to, you have to change your delivery and
change your wording and change the stories so
that they relate to it so it's meaningful to
them. Otherwise it's not going to land.
Carol Cox: Yeah. You have to think about what are their (22:23):
undefined
goals, what do they want for themselves?
Where are they at in their life?
What what is kind of getting in their way or
what are their thought processes? What are
they concerned about?
So you're still talking about personal
branding, which you would do with a business
audience of of women.
But you can also do it for younger people.
You just have to shift what they are,
(22:43):
what they're focused on?
Diane Diaz: Yes. (22:44):
undefined
Carol Cox: Yes. All right, so I have one more clip on (22:45):
undefined
this section about knowing your audience. And
this might be my favorite part,
because Diane and I know that we have talked
a lot about on the Speaking Your Brand
podcast and our Thought Leader Academy with
our clients about when you have a personal
story, you absolutely should share it with
your audience. If it relates to your overall
message or the lessons that you want to
(23:07):
impart to the people who are in the room.
But oftentimes people our clients are like,
well, but what?
How does my story connect to what I'm saying?
Or I don't really, you know,
I'm just going to share my story and then
what happens next? So what we say is that you
have to take your story and universalize it.
So it's the personal to the universal,
the me to the you or the me to the we.
(23:30):
And of course, no surprise Taylor does this
so expertly. So let me bring up that clip.
Taylor Swift: I've made and released 11 albums and in the (23:36):
undefined
process switched genre from country to pop to
alternative to folk.
And this might sound like a very songwriter
centric line of discussion,
but in a way, I really do think we are all
(23:57):
writers, and most of us write in a different
voice for different situations.
You write differently in your Instagram
stories than you do your senior thesis.
You send a different type of email to your
boss than you do your best friend from home.
We are all literary chameleons and I think
(24:17):
it's fascinating.
Carol Cox: All right. So again like. (24:19):
undefined
Diane Diaz: So smart. (24:21):
undefined
Carol Cox: Very much recognizing that yes, (24:22):
undefined
she's talking about her creative process,
which is actually good for her to share in a
speech because people do want a little to
know a little bit about what you do as a
person. They don't want it to.
They want it to be about them,
but they also want to learn about you because
that's how you're a reflection.
You're a mirror for them.
So when she's talking earlier in that clip,
(24:44):
before I started in about her creative
process and why songwriting is so meaningful
to her. But then she's like, okay, well,
obviously most of the people in this audience
are not songwriters. Maybe some of them are,
but most of them are. So she immediately
connects to. But we're all writers in our
lives, and we all write for in different
voices, for different purposes,
for different reasons.
(25:04):
And I think that is such,
such an expert example of this idea of
knowing your audience, but then taking the
personal story to the universal.
Diane Diaz: Yeah. And I think she actually, (25:13):
undefined
I feel like does that with her music too,
because her she tells I mean,
obviously most of her songs are based on
things that happened in her life. And yet
when you listen to them,
you know, you can't necessarily apply every
song to your own life, but you can find
little nuggets in each song that you're like,
yeah, I kind of get that idea,
or I get that concept, or I get that instance
(25:35):
where that could happen and I, oh, I've been
through something similar. Right. So she
tells very personal, I know I believe one of
the critiques of her Tortured Poets
Department album was that it was just all
about her. And I'm like,
well, yeah, but it's being about her.
Her audience understands.
It's about also about them,
right? Like it's about her,
(25:55):
but it's about us through her.
Right? I think her audience now knows that.
And so she writes about her.
But then we feel it ourselves,
about ourselves.
And so anybody that knows anything about her
kind of gets that. But she did it very
masterfully here in this speech.
Right? Very deliberately. And I think, too,
because it is a different setting than a song
(26:16):
that she's writing. Right.
That you're just going to listen to without
her there. She's actually telling you,
here's the thing, and here's why that thing
is relatable for you.
Carol Cox: Diane, let's talk about objections. (26:27):
undefined
And again, I know a lot of times when we're
working our own presentations, when we're
working with clients, I'll often say to them
in our VIP days and I'll say,
okay, so what do you think people in the
audience are thinking to themselves right
now? So because they'll say our clients will
say something like, well,
but what if they've already heard this
before? What if what if they've they've tried
(26:49):
this and they didn't work or whatever it
happens to be? Yes.
And so I say, well, then say that literally.
Say that out loud. Say to your audience,
well, you may have tried this before and,
you know, show me, you know, show of hands.
How many of you tried this and it didn't
work? Okay. Well, let's we're going to try a
different kind of approach to it or.
Okay. So now you all may be thinking that x,
(27:10):
y, z. So literally say out loud what you
think the audience is saying in their head.
So Diane, how does Taylor do this in her
commencement address?
Diane Diaz: Yeah, she you know, one of the things she (27:18):
undefined
does at the very beginning is she addresses
the huge elephant in the room is that these
graduates just went through going to college
during a global pandemic.
And so she's letting them know,
like, yeah, it was weird.
You, you, you know, I think because also
because she's very up here with like she
(27:39):
lives in a completely different world than
us. So does she completely understand what it
was like to go to college at all?
Especially during a global pandemic? No,
but she understands there was a global
pandemic. You all had an experience that was
atypical for college people.
I get it right.
It was a strange experience.
And you probably you all made it through
that. You dealt with that. But it was a
(27:59):
thing. So she calls it out at the beginning.
So I think that that sort of disarms the it
actually shortens the distance between us and
her. Right. Like, so that we don't feel like
if she's not going to get this, like she not
only did she not go to college, but there was
a pandemic and I had to go to college. No,
she's saying like, I get it, you went to
college during a pandemic,
right? And so she she just puts right out
(28:20):
there. It is. It is an old sales technique.
Right. To state the objections.
Like, you know, I know this this XYZ product
or service seems really expensive.
And you're I'm sure your budget budgets are
tight right now. Like I get it,
but blah blah blah.
Right. So that is what she does.
She she sells them the idea of what she's
(28:40):
going to talk about and says, listen, I know
you went through a pandemic,
but I'm going to share some hacks with you,
right? So she I love that she just states it
outright because we all they all know that.
Carol Cox: Well, it would feel weird if she didn't (28:52):
undefined
address it because again, now in 2025,
you wouldn't be addressing it because people
are like, no, I don't want to talk about the
pandemic. But in May of 2022,
very much, it was still top of mind for
everyone. And it was so central to their
college experience.
And if she hadn't addressed it,
and if you were as a speaker,
(29:13):
if there's something going on,
you know, discernment plays a role here.
But if you don't address something that is
really like top of mind for the audience,
it's going to feel like you literally took
your speech off the shelf.
Yes, Matt, it memorized.
Diane Diaz: And yeah. (29:29):
undefined
Carol Cox: Right click play on yourself. (29:30):
undefined
Yes. And you just said the whole thing and it
feels inauthentic and genuine.
Yeah. When that happens.
Diane Diaz: I think she is probably one of the best (29:40):
undefined
people at addressing timely things that are
going on with her audience,
because she and she's not a person who's out
there. She doesn't do a lot of interviews.
She doesn't. She's not on social media.
She she, of course, has social media, social
media presence, but she's not on there.
(30:01):
And so when she addresses something,
she does address instances like she there was
I think her concerts in Vienna had to be
cancelled because there was some sort of a,
um, bomb threat or something.
So they had to cancel all the shows.
Now she of course she has to address that,
but it is. So, um, of course she has a team
(30:21):
helping her with this, but I think she is the
leader of that message.
And it's. You can tell when the message comes
out that it's very Taylor Swift,
right? It's full of caring.
And so I'm sure when she's crafting this
speech, she's aware, like,
what have these young people been through?
Right. Like, what have they been through?
What have they been dealing with? That I need
(30:42):
to just make sure I say like,
yeah, I get it.
You've gone through this and this and this,
right? So I think she's very good at that.
Very good at that.
Carol Cox: I am sure she wrote this speech. (30:51):
undefined
She probably had her mom or someone kind of,
you know, just like she does with anything,
probably get some, some feedback on it to
tighten it up and to make it better.
But as a writer, I'm sure.
Diane Diaz: Oh my God. (31:03):
undefined
Carol Cox: I'm. (31:04):
undefined
Diane Diaz: Sure she wrote it. Yeah. (31:04):
undefined
Carol Cox: And you can tell. All right. (31:06):
undefined
So so then that was so kind of number two,
knowing your audience and then bridging the
personal story to universal themes is number
three. But they're very much closely
connected together. So let me play another
clip. And this is getting towards maybe like
a little over halfway through her talk where
she talks about perfectionism and now
(31:27):
perfectionism. Perfectionism is really the
core of this speech that she wants the
college grads to learn from her own struggles
with Perfectionism and being this young
female role model, especially in those like
mid 2000 to late 2000 era when like the
tabloids and the TMZ websites were just
brutal, especially when it came to younger
(31:50):
women, celebrities and the public eye.
And about this idea of of it's okay to make
mistakes. It's okay to be vulnerable.
Like things are going to happen. You're not
going to be perfect and to learn from it.
So let me play a couple of clips from that.
Taylor Swift: See, I was a teenager at a time when our (32:04):
undefined
society was absolutely obsessed with the idea
of having perfect young female role models.
Speaker4: It felt like. (32:17):
undefined
Taylor Swift: Every interview I did included slight barbs (32:18):
undefined
by the interviewer about me one day running
off the rails, and that meant a different
thing to every person who said it to me.
So I became a young adult while being fed the
message that if I didn't make any mistakes.
(32:39):
All the children of America would grow up to
be perfect angels.
However, if I did slip up,
the entire earth would fall off its axis and
it would be entirely my fault.
And I would go to pop star jail forever and
ever.
Carol Cox: All right, let me jump ahead. So she kind of (32:58):
undefined
tees up this idea of feeling this,
this very heavy weight and burden of being
perfect so that, you know,
not only for like the children of the world,
not that, but for her career.
Like, let's be real like she. And again,
the, the press and the industry are,
you know, are very hard, especially on young
women. So she wanted to make sure she had a
(33:19):
thriving career. So let me jump ahead a
little bit here to how she kind of bridges
this idea of her own personal story of
perfectionism.
Taylor Swift: I know the pressure of living your life (33:28):
undefined
through the lens of perfectionism,
and I know that I'm talking to a group of
perfectionists because you are here today
graduating from NYU.
So this might be hard for you to hear in your
(33:51):
life. You will inevitably misspeak.
Trust the wrong person under react,
overreact, hurt the people who didn't deserve
it. Overthink.
Not think at all.
Self-sabotage.
Create a reality where only your experience
(34:12):
exists. Ruin perfectly good moments for
yourself and others.
Deny any wrongdoing.
Not take the steps to make it right.
Feel very guilty.
Let the guilt eat at you.
Hit rock bottom.
Finally address the pain you caused.
Try to do better next time.
Rinse, repeat.
Carol Cox: All right. So super relatable, (34:36):
undefined
right?
Diane Diaz: I feel like. (34:39):
undefined
Carol Cox: She hit the mall that we, (34:40):
undefined
everyone in the audience has had.
Diane Diaz: We've all been on that train. (34:42):
undefined
Carol Cox: All of that. Right? Yeah. (34:44):
undefined
So again, like taking that personal
experience that she had because most people
in that audience and certainly us, like we
weren't teenagers in the public eye like she
was when she was a teenager.
But we've all had those experiences of
perfectionism, wanting perfectionism,
and then the mistakes that happen.
Diane Diaz: Yeah, I love that. She how? (35:04):
undefined
It's like, well, you know,
here she is, this big famous person.
She's been through it, but she's also letting
everybody and they all know we've all been
through that. But she's letting them know
everybody's going through. This is just it's
not abnormal. This is going and it's going to
happen again because that's life.
Carol Cox: Yeah. So for as you're working on your own (35:21):
undefined
presentations and talks,
think about for your own personal stories and
you should include personal stories in your
talks, even if you are doing a,
you know, a quote unquote business topic or
it's a business audience,
personal stories as you've seen here.
Connect you with your audience in a deeper
way. They let the audience know that they're
(35:42):
not alone, that you validate and empathize
the experience that they're having as well,
that you're not putting yourself on a
pedestal. So you may have be a few steps
ahead of them as far as in life or in the
stage that you're in and your business or
career, but you're there to kind of take them
along the journey as well.
And so think about for as you're working on
(36:03):
your talks, is how can you use
self-deprecating humor in an appropriate way,
but in a way that that brings your audience
in? How can you let the audience know that
you understand where they're at,
their goals, their aspirations?
Also any challenges that they're faced with
right now and then bridge those personal
stories to the universal by shifting from me
(36:27):
to you. So just a lot of times it's just
shifting. The language can be done really
easily. And so we hope that you've enjoyed
this first reaction video that we have done.
Let us know in the comments.
If you like us to do more,
we have more ideas planned.
We'd love to know what you thought about it,
what else you would like for us to do?
(36:47):
Are there any speeches in particular that you
have in mind that you would like to know?
Yeah, let us know.
It could be someone famous or it doesn't have
to be anyone famous.
It could just be one that you thought was
well done. And then we could pick out why it
was so well done.
So drop your thoughts in the comments and
again, make sure to hit subscribe here on the
(37:08):
YouTube channel so that you don't miss a
future episodes. And make sure to follow the
Speaking Your Brand podcast.
And of course, if you would like to learn
more about what we do here. Speaking your
brand, go to speaking your brand.
Dot com. Diane, thank you so much for joining
today.
Diane Diaz: Yes, of course it was fun. I love Taylor (37:23):
undefined
Swift. So my pleasure it was.
Carol Cox: And thanks everyone for watching. (37:27):
undefined
Until next time. We'll see you then.
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