June 4, 2025 • 24 mins
The bouquet and garter toss traditions are the topic of conversation.
Learn the history of these traditions, popular music choices for each, and reasons why some couples choose to skip them.
This podcast is for engaged couples who are stressed out with wedding planning and family expectations, but want a fun wedding day.
Additionally, Sal and Sam offer eight creative alternatives to the bouquet and garter toss to keep guests engaged.
By the end of this edition you'll learn the role of music in these traditions, when typically to perform the bouquet toss, and various song recommendations.
Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast #151: What to Play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss and 8 Creative Ways to Skip Them
Host: Sal & Sam
Music: "Sam's Tune" by Rick Anthony
TIMESTAMP
00:00 Introduction to Stress-free Wedding Planning Podcast #151: What to Play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss and 8 Creative Ways to Skip Them
01:00 Podcast Overview and Goals
02:00 Overview What to Play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss
03:30 History of the Garter
04:30 Garter Ceremony Explained
05:45 History of the Bouquet
06:45 Bouquet Ceremony Explained
07:45 Music For Bouquet Toss
09:00 Music For Garter Toss
11:30 Negatives of Bouquet and Garter
14:45 Wedding Tip Wednesday: Stop Halfway Down The Aisle
15:24 8 Creative Alternatives to Bouquet and Garter Toss
16:00 Anniversary Dance
17:45 Giving It To Someone Special
18:15 Ladies Dance
19:00 The Couples Dance
19:45 Charity Bouquet Auction
20:30 Gift Your Bouquet To An Engaged Couple
21:15 Musical Chairs
22:00 Just Skip It
22:45 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement
24:00 Closing Remarks and Farewell
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Planning your wedding andwondering whether to include
the bouquet garter toss?
Not sure what music sets the right vibe?
Or if you should skip thebouquet and garter altogether.
Thanks for joining us.
Hi, I'm Sal from AfterHours Events of New England.
We'll answer these questions and explainwhat to play for your bouquet and
garter toss, and eight creative waysto skip them, in today's edition of the
(00:22):
Stress-Free Wedding Planning podcast.
Welcome to another edition of our podcast.
Hi there, I am Sam fromAtmosphere Productions.
Listen now and discoverwedding insider secrets for a
Stress-Free, fun and memorable day.
Our podcast helps engage couplesnavigate Wedding Planning complexities
while addressing family expectations.
(00:45):
We will guide you through the journeyof creating the perfect wedding
day without unnecessary stress.
By the end of this edition, you'llget concise tips on budgeting,
wedding party management, ceremony,reception planning, and more.
Perfect for anyone planning awedding all in 30 minutes or less.
(01:05):
Trust us.
You don't want to miss this.
Welcome to Stress-Free WeddingPlanning, the podcast that will
transform your Wedding Planning journeyfrom chaotic to enchanting, Sal and
Sam bring over 80 years of combinedwedding expertise and exclusive
insider information to the table.
If you're recently engaged, feelingthe pressure of Wedding Planning.
Struggling with family expectations, butstill dreaming of a joy filled wedding.
(01:28):
You've come to the right place.
Get ready to unveil thebest kept wedding secrets.
Discover practical tips andstrategies and learn life-changing
lessons for a Stress-Free wedding.
Your unforgettable wedding day awaits.
We're here to take you on a transformativejourney of love, laughter, and memories,
so don't miss out on the podcast.
That just might change your life.
(01:49):
This is the Stress-Free WeddingPlanning podcast with Sal and Sam.
On today's podcast, we'll explain whatto play for your Bouquet and Garter toss,
and eight creative ways to skip them.
Hi, I'm Sal.
From After Hours Events, we're theexperts in creating Stress-Free
unforgettable weddings, bringingenergy, professionalism, and a
personal touch to every celebration.
(02:10):
Let's make your big day extraordinary.
Visit us at After HoursEvents of N.E Dot com.
Learn more about our experienceand journey to help you with
Stress-Free Wedding Planning in thetrailer or pilot of this podcast.
Now the Bouquet and Garter toss have beenpart of Wedding Traditions for decades.
Some couples love the energy it brings.
(02:32):
Others prefer to skip it.
Whichever camp you fall into, onethings for certain music plays
a big role in setting that tone.
Hi, I'm Sam from the Award-WinningAtmosphere Productions.
Wedding Entertainment with ExpertKnowledge and the difference in quality.
Specializing in live ceremonymusicians and cocktail hour
(02:55):
string musicians plus lighting.
And an elegant and classy presentation,we have exactly what you need.
Visit us at Atmospherehyphen Productions dot com.
That's Atmosphere hyphenProductions dot com.
In today's edition, we'll explain whatto play for the bouquet and garter toss,
and eight creative ways to skip them.
(03:15):
Some customs have been around for a longtime that we lose track of them and how
they actually started to begin with.
So let's go in the historyof the garter a little.
So the garter simply, it'sa band worn around your leg.
It used to be used in the olden daysto actually hold up your stockings.
So men and women, worethis since the Middle Ages.
(03:36):
Bridal garters have been considereda token of good luck, but in the 21st
century, people tend to wear themmore for fashion than for function.
The garter toss specifically is a Westernwedding tradition dating back centuries.
In medieval times, piecesof the bride's ensemble were
considered tokens of good luck.
(03:59):
So much so that guests would fightto rip the clothes off the bride, so
that they could keep a little favor.
so it would be a littlepiece of good luck for them.
But, the version most people arefamiliar with these days, since
we don't rip people's clothes offanymore, is by wearing a garter and
(04:20):
having it removed at the reception.
Now, generally you get to buy that.
Anywhere from 10 to a hundred dollars.
And during the reception portion, withthe assistance of the DJ or the musician,
the bride sits in a chair while the groomremoves the garter from around her leg.
(04:40):
Now, obviously, remember thatif you are a bride, you've
gotta set this up in advance.
You've, when you're getting dressed,you've gotta put your garter on and wear
it throughout the ceremony, right throughthe reception so it can be removed.
Now, obviously, the grooms like to havea little fun with this, and they don't
necessarily have to use their hands . I'vealso seen where they've surreptitiously
(05:01):
put a ball and chain under the dress or, agolf ball or a soccer ball or a football.
Whatever, just to.
You know, kind of make it a little funny.
The garter toss is basically seenas the male counterpart to the
bouquet toss in which the unmarriedladies compete to catch the bouquet.
(05:23):
In fact, the person who nabs thegarter sometimes puts it on the lady
who caught the floral arrangement?
the bouquet.
They can then, share a specialdance later, depending on how
far you want to take this.
There are many, many variations thatwe've seen throughout the years.
Now let's talk about thehistory of the bouquet.
(05:44):
You may not know this, but thebouquet is one of the oldest wedding
traditions and it's morphed to bedifferent things over the centuries.
And nowadays it's one of those thingswhen you throw the bouquet, whoever
catches it, the superstition is.
They are the next onewho will get married.
In pagan times wedding flowers representedfertility and were believed to bring luck.
(06:05):
Ancient Roman and Greek bridescarried bouquets of herbs
to ward off evil spirits.
Now the bouquet as we have it todaydates back to the 19th century, and
again, women at that time believedthat touching the bride, on her
wedding day would bring good luck.
And again, just like the garterlegend has it, that, people would rip
(06:29):
pieces of the bride's dress or tryto steal her bouquet as a keepsake.
Therefore, women started tossing thebouquet so that the crowds of women
that would try to, tear their dress ortake something from them, they would
just be able to take the flowers.
The version that people are mostfamiliar with today, as Sal says, is
(06:51):
the popular throwing of the bouquet.
And what we suggest is get a throwawaybouquet from your florist that is, so that
you can toss to the single ladies so thatyou can keep your traditional bouquet.
Once tossed, the single ladies willobviously scramble to catch it.
And as we also mentioned, you canthen combine that with the garter
(07:12):
ceremony where the gentleman whocaught the garter puts it on the lady
who caught the throwaway bouquet.
Just a reminder, join uson our YouTube channel.
Just search for the Stress Free WeddingPlanning Podcast with Sal and Sam.
Like, subscribe and get it first.
Now that you understand the historyof why the bouquet and garter ceremony
is done, let's explain to you when abouquet toss typically happens, and it's
(07:38):
usually something later in the evening.
After dinner time, some point.
and, you wanna use music to kindof create energy for this moment.
One of the most popular songsout there has always been
"Single Ladies" by Beyonce.
This one's a classic for a good reason.
It is bold, fun and gets the crowdcheering and all the ladies get to fill
their hand if there's no ring on it.
(07:59):
So they're single andready to make this happen.
I remember in the eighties and nineties.
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".
Which is just great for creatinga carefree, upbeat mood.
And then we had, oh, thiswas another one, Beyonce.
Beyonce is the Queen, right?
" Run the World".
There's another empowering anthemthat brings energy and confidence.
(08:20):
And of course, the lovely Shania Twain.
we have, "Man, I Feel Like A Woman", DemiLovato, "Confident." " "Lady Marmalade".
"Smooth" by Santana.
" Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe.
"Country Girl" by Luke Bryan.
That's a real fun song.
Usually gets all the ladies going.
"Truth Hurts" by Lizzo.
" Flowers", by Miley Cyrus.
(08:41):
I don't usually suggestsuch a low key song.
Energy is usually the best way to go.
And then you have "PaperRings" by Taylor Swift.
Choose a song that feels rightfor your group of friends.
That is very important.
You want it to fit thevibe of your friends.
Think about your bridesmaids,your single guests, what song
will make them catch that bouquetand have a great time with it.
(09:02):
Now music for the garter toss.
This is something that you can usethat's kind of cheeky but smooth,
depending on your style of course.
Now just remember you canGoogle any of these songs.
We can't actually playthem for copyright laws.
So just please, if you want to hearthem, just Google and or put them
(09:23):
into iTunes or whatever music playeryou use and take a listen, if you're
not familiar with any of these.
Some popular tracks for thegarter toss is Ginuwine's "Pony",
kind of playful and flirty?
Nelly's "Hot In Here".
It's been, a song that we use, since thesong was released in the early Nineties's.
(09:43):
It's high energy, and it's gotthat right amount of edge to it.
Chappelle Roan kind ofnew "Pink Pony Club".
And some fun ones.
"Suit and Tie" Justine Timberlake,Maroon Five's "Sugar", and
a classic from the eighties.
Yello's "Oh Yeah!" It's in a lotof different commercials, so you've
(10:03):
probably heard it and probably didn'teven know what, artists sang it.
Some of my favorites.
Some of these are littleold school, so I apologize.
The Mission Impossible Theme.
The Pink Panther Theme.
The Benny Hill Theme.
You see where I'm going?
There a lot of theme songs inthere, because people know them.
Right Said Fred, "I'm TooSexy" from the nineties.
(10:25):
Also, eighties and nineties fanswill love the Inner Circle "Cops
Theme", "Bad Boys, Bad Boys",Georgia satellites from the eighties.
"Keep Your Hands To Yourself" and DuaLipa comes in with two selections,
"Dance The Night Away", and "Houdini"both great tracks that everybody
(10:45):
should know and be able to react to.
What you have to do is ask yourself,how do you want your guests to react?
Do you want them laughing, dancing,smiling, or just surprised?
The song you choose can steerthat moment and that direction.
Now the person who nabs the gartersometimes, puts it on the leg of whoever
(11:06):
wins, the bouquet toss, as we said.
and they might share the next dance.
If you don't want to do this, you canjust end the, garter toss where it is.
And it's the same with the bouquet toss.
If you don't want to do anythingfurther, you can just end it exactly,
at the end when somebody catches it.
Work with your DJ or your musician,to work out how you want to do this,
(11:28):
or delete it because Sal's gonnago over some cons of why he thinks
this should no longer be done.
So, most importantly, if you're goingto really consider doing these things,
you wanna talk to friends, you wannatalk to family, to see if this is
something that they're comfortable with,because if they're uncomfortable, it's
(11:49):
not gonna be successful to start with.
Now, I'm gonna tell you.
This for me has gone away years ago, whenthe year 2000 came in, I noticed there's
a major drop in doing both the bouquetand garter toss, and it was becoming
more of just a bouquet toss and, Igotta tell you there's reasons for it.
So, one is, people didn'treally like the garter thing.
(12:12):
It got a little sexual.
Sometimes people, got a little tootouchy when they shouldn't have been.
Or you ended up in a weird situationthat your youngest cousin is
the one who caught the bouquet.
And there's an older unclewho caught the garter.
So that's just just weird.
So he always had to use analternative way to make that happen.
So it wasn't that awkward.
A lot of people thoughtit was just too sexual.
And a lot of people too is thebouquet became, unpopular for the
(12:34):
purpose of not everyone wants tobe pointed out that they're single.
When you don't have over a dozen womengoing out there to catch this bouquet,
this may not work out very well.
And you gotta keep in mind that you haveto kind of go through your RSVP list and
figure, who is an outgoing person enoughthat would actually go out there and
then you may wanna kind of talk to them.
(12:55):
Would they do this when it comes time?
Your plus ones don't normally goout there, so you can't count them.
So you wanna make sure you have agood showing because if it's not a
good showing, it's gonna fall flatand you just wasted time doing this
where you just could have kept thedancing going to be quite honest.
We've just explained the history and musicto play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss.
(13:17):
Coming up next.
Eight creative ways to skip them.
But first, if you have a question orconcern, go now to Facebook and join us on
the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Communityand, actually, you could also join us on
the Connecticut Wedding Advice Community.
Join us on our YouTube channel.
Just search for the Stress Free WeddingPlanning podcast with Sal and Sam.
Like, subscribe and get it first.
(13:40):
The Stress Free Wedding PlanningPodcast with Sal and Sam, a podcast
for engaged couples concernedabout Wedding Planning and family
expectations, but who want a stressfree, fun and unforgettable wedding.
Experience the magic of your SpecialDay with Fitzner Productions, our
premier wedding videography companybased in Middletown, Connecticut.
Fitzner Productions dot com.
(14:00):
Our mission is to capture your lovestory candidly and authentically
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Let us help you relive the romance,laughter, and tears of your wedding day.
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That's F-I-T-Z-N-E-R Productions dot com.
Now, Wedding Tip Wednesday.
But first, some marriage advice.
Always answer the question, "Do I lookfat in this?" With .."You look perfect!".
(14:46):
Ha-ha Ha Ha-Ha!
Absolutely true.
Very tricky question.
On today's Wedding Tip Wednesday,Stop Halfway Down The Aisle.
What do I mean?
After the ceremony, when youare walking back down the aisle,
it's called The Recessional.
Stop halfway down the aisle and kiss.
This is another great moment foryour photographer to take a picture
(15:10):
and a chance for you to dip yourpartner and wow your guests.
That's another weddingtip from Sal and Sam.
Wedding Tip Wednesday is availableon the Stress Free Wedding Planning
Facebook group page every Wednesday.
Join the group for free.
Welcome back to our discussion aboutwhat to play for the bouquet guard or
toss in eight creative ways to skip them.
(15:30):
I'm Sal from After HoursEvents of New England.
I'm Sam from Atmosphere Productions.
We've already discussed the historyand the music that you can use for
the bouquet and garter ceremony, pluswhy couples no longer want to do it.
Now let's discuss some alternatives.
Here are a few ideas that keepsguests involved, and sometimes you
(15:52):
may not need a bouquet or garter.
The Anniversary Dance is mynumber one choice for this.
This is a way as skipping thebouquet and garter toss altogether.
You will need your bouquetthough as a giveaway.
How this works is beforehand withyour dj, you choose a song to play.
(16:14):
We invite in my version, there aredifferent versions of doing this.
In my version, we invite all.
The married couples to the dance floor,we start dancing to the song you've chosen
and then we start eliminating everybodythat's been married for one day or less.
Well, that's you, of course.
And then one year, five year10, until we get to 24 years.
(16:36):
Then we congratulate everybody that'sleft because they've celebrated a
quarter century and then 30, 40, 50.
And then what I like todo is start counting down.
Singularly.
So 51, 52, 53.
It builds a little anticipationuntil you get to the last couple on
the dance floor, at which point youare obviously going to give them
(16:59):
your throwaway bouquet or a gift.
It's up to you.
And I usually, invite a littlecomment from the gentleman on the
tip on how, he thinks that you twocan stay married for as long as they
have, and then we play a song to geteverybody back out on the dance floor.
And as you see what You do here isyou fill the dance floor with married
(17:20):
couples and by the time you are done,everybody's in a circle around the
edge of the dance floor and you canjust open up the dancing once again.
Quick and simple.
It's called the AnniversaryCelebration Dance.
Sam.
That's such a wonderful alternative.
Another thing that's been happeningis that no one does anything
except for taking the bouquetand giving it to someone special.
(17:43):
I've watched our brides andour couples come together and
present it to grandparents orto a grandmother or to a mom.
It could be, or a special aunt.
It could be anyone that is trulyspecial and close to you that you
wanna present this bouquet to.
I'm typically asked to make just aquick announcement about how this
(18:06):
bouquet is gonna be presented tothis specific person because of how
special they are in the couple's life.
Yes.
That giving away the bouquet tosomeone special is a great idea.
Another one that you cando is a Ladies Dance.
This is where you play an upbeatgirl power anthem song, and you
invite all the women to dance onthe dance floor, no bouquet needed.
(18:28):
It's like a mini celebration in the middleof your reception for all of the ladies.
And songs that you can use is ShaniaTwain's, "Man, I feel Like A Woman".
Selena Gomez, "Me And My Girls".
David Guetta "Where Them GirlsAt" and Martina McBride's "This
One's For The Girls." So you doa little mini celebration at your
(18:48):
celebration for all the ladies.
Now, here's something that youcould have everyone involved and
we call it The Couples Dance Off.
So what we typically do on oneside of dance floor, we have all
the guys lined up and on the otherside we have the girls lined up.
And the first person on the oppositeside of the line, I should say the first
couple will dance right down the center.
So they're gonna show off theirdance move, having a lot of fun.
(19:10):
And when they come to the end, thenext couple goes and we keep going
and we keep cheering them on untilwe get through everyone who's had
an opportunity to get through that.
And a lot of times what I like to do isdevelop it into a circle at that point and
just have people do dance offs singularly,in the middle of the dance floor.
Just creates a lot offun and a lot of energy.
The great thing about that one, Sal,is that you keep everybody on the dance
(19:32):
floor, and that's what our aim is.
Up next is what we call theCharity Bouquet Auction.
Now this takes a littlebit of planning in advance.
I've done this once at a weddinga few years ago, and you are
going to auction off your bouquet.
So firstly, you're gonna find a charitythat you can donate the money to.
(19:53):
You print up a little card with whatyou're going to do during the auction,
and basically the DJ auctions offthe bouquet to the highest bidder.
I would typically suggest that wedo this at some point during the
dinner or at the very end of dinner.
So that way we don't interruptthe dancing 'cause remember,
everybody's gotta be seated for this.
(20:15):
And you are just going to take bidsuntil you get the highest bidder.
Whoever bids the highest, getsthe bouquet and obviously pays the
money to the charity of your choice.
Now something else you could do isGift Your Bouquet To An Engaged Couple.
So if you have a close familymember or a really good friend
who has just gotten engaged.
(20:36):
You could present the bouquetto them, 'cause obviously
they're the next to get married.
So it makes all the sense in the world.
So now you've just gotta rid thatsuperstition because they are next.
Here's the bouquet.
Enjoy!
Congratulate them and have somekind words for them over the
microphone and the couple willundoubtedly be amazed and leave the
wedding with smiles on their faces.
(20:58):
For you made them a bigpart of your special day.
But what is always important, alwaystalk to the couple ahead of time.
Make sure they don't mind the attention,because if they're not attention people,
you may not want to do this, becauseyou don't wanna embarrass anybody.
Good point there, Sal.
Like that.
Next you can do somethingthat's very typical at parties.
(21:19):
It's something called Musical Chairs.
Everybody knows how toplay musical chairs.
You get chairs in a circle and it'salways one less than the count of
people that are on the dance floor.
Play the music until the lasttwo participants are left with
one chair and the one participantwho fails to sit is eliminated.
And what we call the winner would then getthe throwaway, bouquet or another gift if
(21:44):
you didn't want to give away your flowers.
So music chairs.
Nice alternative there.
Hear's something real simple,just skip it all entirely.
The popularity of the bouquetgarter tradition in recent years
has really declined, so why do it?
Just keep having fun.
Let's get that dance floor going.
Keep that dance music going and having agreat time with your family and friends.
(22:07):
That's what they came to your wedding for,to have a great time with the two of you.
Yeah, you can skip it all together.
that's great.
So our eight alternatives are skippingthe bouquet and garter toss altogether.
Play musical chairs.
Give the gift of the bouquetto an engaged couple.
Do a charity auction.
(22:27):
Do a couple's dance off.
You can also do a ladies only dance, andyou can also do a giveaway of the bouquet.
And the number one is theanniversary celebration dance.
Remember, you should feelfree to personalize your
wedding, however you see fit.
(22:48):
In choosing which traditions youwant to uphold and which ones you
want to add, is entirely up to you.
So there you have it.
We've just explained what to playfor the bouquet and garter toss, and
eight creative ways to just skip it.
Whether you stick to it with tradition orgo for something new, make it fun, make
it you, and let the music do the rest.
(23:10):
Now as you spend the next week planningyour wedding, if you want me, Sal,
or our community of Stress-Freeengaged couples and wedding experts to
answer any wedding related questions,then join us in the Stress-Free
Wedding Planning Facebook group.
Once you're in, go ahead and share yourconcerns and worries, and we'll let you
know if you are on the right track or ifthere are some things you need to work on.
(23:32):
The link to join us is in theshow notes of this edition, or
go to Facebook and search for theStress-Free Wedding Planning community.
Remember to do something nice forsomeone today, and if you can't,
then do something nice for yourself.
If you've enjoyed what you've justheard, leave a review and share it
with a friend or someone who wouldbenefit from this information.
Until next time, it's TTFN, Tata now.
(23:55):
Thank you for listening to this edition.
A new edition is released every Wednesday.
Subscribe and get it.
First we'll catch.
Ciao.
The Stress-Free Wedding PlanningPodcast is produced and copyrighted by
Atmosphere Productions in associationwith After Hours Events of New England.
Planning your wedding andwondering whether to include
the bouquet garter toss?
Not sure what music sets the right vibe?
Or if you should skip thebouquet and garter altogether.
Thanks for joining us.
Hi, I'm Sal from AfterHours Events of New England.
We'll answer these questions and explainwhat to play for your bouquet and
garter toss, and eight creative waysto skip them, in today's edition of the
(00:22):
Stress-Free Wedding Planning podcast.
Welcome to another edition of our podcast.
Hi there, I am Sam fromAtmosphere Productions.
Listen now and discoverwedding insider secrets for a
Stress-Free, fun and memorable day.
Our podcast helps engage couplesnavigate Wedding Planning complexities
while addressing family expectations.
(00:45):
We will guide you through the journeyof creating the perfect wedding
day without unnecessary stress.
By the end of this edition, you'llget concise tips on budgeting,
wedding party management, ceremony,reception planning, and more.
Perfect for anyone planning awedding all in 30 minutes or less.
(01:05):
Trust us.
You don't want to miss this.
Welcome to Stress-Free WeddingPlanning, the podcast that will
transform your Wedding Planning journeyfrom chaotic to enchanting, Sal and
Sam bring over 80 years of combinedwedding expertise and exclusive
insider information to the table.
If you're recently engaged, feelingthe pressure of Wedding Planning.
Struggling with family expectations, butstill dreaming of a joy filled wedding.
(01:28):
You've come to the right place.
Get ready to unveil thebest kept wedding secrets.
Discover practical tips andstrategies and learn life-changing
lessons for a Stress-Free wedding.
Your unforgettable wedding day awaits.
We're here to take you on a transformativejourney of love, laughter, and memories,
so don't miss out on the podcast.
That just might change your life.
(01:49):
This is the Stress-Free WeddingPlanning podcast with Sal and Sam.
On today's podcast, we'll explain whatto play for your Bouquet and Garter toss,
and eight creative ways to skip them.
Hi, I'm Sal.
From After Hours Events, we're theexperts in creating Stress-Free
unforgettable weddings, bringingenergy, professionalism, and a
personal touch to every celebration.
(02:10):
Let's make your big day extraordinary.
Visit us at After HoursEvents of N.E Dot com.
Learn more about our experienceand journey to help you with
Stress-Free Wedding Planning in thetrailer or pilot of this podcast.
Now the Bouquet and Garter toss have beenpart of Wedding Traditions for decades.
Some couples love the energy it brings.
(02:32):
Others prefer to skip it.
Whichever camp you fall into, onethings for certain music plays
a big role in setting that tone.
Hi, I'm Sam from the Award-WinningAtmosphere Productions.
Wedding Entertainment with ExpertKnowledge and the difference in quality.
Specializing in live ceremonymusicians and cocktail hour
(02:55):
string musicians plus lighting.
And an elegant and classy presentation,we have exactly what you need.
Visit us at Atmospherehyphen Productions dot com.
That's Atmosphere hyphenProductions dot com.
In today's edition, we'll explain whatto play for the bouquet and garter toss,
and eight creative ways to skip them.
(03:15):
Some customs have been around for a longtime that we lose track of them and how
they actually started to begin with.
So let's go in the historyof the garter a little.
So the garter simply, it'sa band worn around your leg.
It used to be used in the olden daysto actually hold up your stockings.
So men and women, worethis since the Middle Ages.
(03:36):
Bridal garters have been considereda token of good luck, but in the 21st
century, people tend to wear themmore for fashion than for function.
The garter toss specifically is a Westernwedding tradition dating back centuries.
In medieval times, piecesof the bride's ensemble were
considered tokens of good luck.
(03:59):
So much so that guests would fightto rip the clothes off the bride, so
that they could keep a little favor.
so it would be a littlepiece of good luck for them.
But, the version most people arefamiliar with these days, since
we don't rip people's clothes offanymore, is by wearing a garter and
(04:20):
having it removed at the reception.
Now, generally you get to buy that.
Anywhere from 10 to a hundred dollars.
And during the reception portion, withthe assistance of the DJ or the musician,
the bride sits in a chair while the groomremoves the garter from around her leg.
(04:40):
Now, obviously, remember thatif you are a bride, you've
gotta set this up in advance.
You've, when you're getting dressed,you've gotta put your garter on and wear
it throughout the ceremony, right throughthe reception so it can be removed.
Now, obviously, the grooms like to havea little fun with this, and they don't
necessarily have to use their hands . I'vealso seen where they've surreptitiously
(05:01):
put a ball and chain under the dress or, agolf ball or a soccer ball or a football.
Whatever, just to.
You know, kind of make it a little funny.
The garter toss is basically seenas the male counterpart to the
bouquet toss in which the unmarriedladies compete to catch the bouquet.
(05:23):
In fact, the person who nabs thegarter sometimes puts it on the lady
who caught the floral arrangement?
the bouquet.
They can then, share a specialdance later, depending on how
far you want to take this.
There are many, many variations thatwe've seen throughout the years.
Now let's talk about thehistory of the bouquet.
(05:44):
You may not know this, but thebouquet is one of the oldest wedding
traditions and it's morphed to bedifferent things over the centuries.
And nowadays it's one of those thingswhen you throw the bouquet, whoever
catches it, the superstition is.
They are the next onewho will get married.
In pagan times wedding flowers representedfertility and were believed to bring luck.
(06:05):
Ancient Roman and Greek bridescarried bouquets of herbs
to ward off evil spirits.
Now the bouquet as we have it todaydates back to the 19th century, and
again, women at that time believedthat touching the bride, on her
wedding day would bring good luck.
And again, just like the garterlegend has it, that, people would rip
(06:29):
pieces of the bride's dress or tryto steal her bouquet as a keepsake.
Therefore, women started tossing thebouquet so that the crowds of women
that would try to, tear their dress ortake something from them, they would
just be able to take the flowers.
The version that people are mostfamiliar with today, as Sal says, is
(06:51):
the popular throwing of the bouquet.
And what we suggest is get a throwawaybouquet from your florist that is, so that
you can toss to the single ladies so thatyou can keep your traditional bouquet.
Once tossed, the single ladies willobviously scramble to catch it.
And as we also mentioned, you canthen combine that with the garter
(07:12):
ceremony where the gentleman whocaught the garter puts it on the lady
who caught the throwaway bouquet.
Just a reminder, join uson our YouTube channel.
Just search for the Stress Free WeddingPlanning Podcast with Sal and Sam.
Like, subscribe and get it first.
Now that you understand the historyof why the bouquet and garter ceremony
is done, let's explain to you when abouquet toss typically happens, and it's
(07:38):
usually something later in the evening.
After dinner time, some point.
and, you wanna use music to kindof create energy for this moment.
One of the most popular songsout there has always been
"Single Ladies" by Beyonce.
This one's a classic for a good reason.
It is bold, fun and gets the crowdcheering and all the ladies get to fill
their hand if there's no ring on it.
(07:59):
So they're single andready to make this happen.
I remember in the eighties and nineties.
"Girls Just Wanna Have Fun".
Which is just great for creatinga carefree, upbeat mood.
And then we had, oh, thiswas another one, Beyonce.
Beyonce is the Queen, right?
" Run the World".
There's another empowering anthemthat brings energy and confidence.
(08:20):
And of course, the lovely Shania Twain.
we have, "Man, I Feel Like A Woman", DemiLovato, "Confident." " "Lady Marmalade".
"Smooth" by Santana.
" Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe.
"Country Girl" by Luke Bryan.
That's a real fun song.
Usually gets all the ladies going.
"Truth Hurts" by Lizzo.
" Flowers", by Miley Cyrus.
(08:41):
I don't usually suggestsuch a low key song.
Energy is usually the best way to go.
And then you have "PaperRings" by Taylor Swift.
Choose a song that feels rightfor your group of friends.
That is very important.
You want it to fit thevibe of your friends.
Think about your bridesmaids,your single guests, what song
will make them catch that bouquetand have a great time with it.
(09:02):
Now music for the garter toss.
This is something that you can usethat's kind of cheeky but smooth,
depending on your style of course.
Now just remember you canGoogle any of these songs.
We can't actually playthem for copyright laws.
So just please, if you want to hearthem, just Google and or put them
(09:23):
into iTunes or whatever music playeryou use and take a listen, if you're
not familiar with any of these.
Some popular tracks for thegarter toss is Ginuwine's "Pony",
kind of playful and flirty?
Nelly's "Hot In Here".
It's been, a song that we use, since thesong was released in the early Nineties's.
(09:43):
It's high energy, and it's gotthat right amount of edge to it.
Chappelle Roan kind ofnew "Pink Pony Club".
And some fun ones.
"Suit and Tie" Justine Timberlake,Maroon Five's "Sugar", and
a classic from the eighties.
Yello's "Oh Yeah!" It's in a lotof different commercials, so you've
(10:03):
probably heard it and probably didn'teven know what, artists sang it.
Some of my favorites.
Some of these are littleold school, so I apologize.
The Mission Impossible Theme.
The Pink Panther Theme.
The Benny Hill Theme.
You see where I'm going?
There a lot of theme songs inthere, because people know them.
Right Said Fred, "I'm TooSexy" from the nineties.
(10:25):
Also, eighties and nineties fanswill love the Inner Circle "Cops
Theme", "Bad Boys, Bad Boys",Georgia satellites from the eighties.
"Keep Your Hands To Yourself" and DuaLipa comes in with two selections,
"Dance The Night Away", and "Houdini"both great tracks that everybody
(10:45):
should know and be able to react to.
What you have to do is ask yourself,how do you want your guests to react?
Do you want them laughing, dancing,smiling, or just surprised?
The song you choose can steerthat moment and that direction.
Now the person who nabs the gartersometimes, puts it on the leg of whoever
(11:06):
wins, the bouquet toss, as we said.
and they might share the next dance.
If you don't want to do this, you canjust end the, garter toss where it is.
And it's the same with the bouquet toss.
If you don't want to do anythingfurther, you can just end it exactly,
at the end when somebody catches it.
Work with your DJ or your musician,to work out how you want to do this,
(11:28):
or delete it because Sal's gonnago over some cons of why he thinks
this should no longer be done.
So, most importantly, if you're goingto really consider doing these things,
you wanna talk to friends, you wannatalk to family, to see if this is
something that they're comfortable with,because if they're uncomfortable, it's
(11:49):
not gonna be successful to start with.
Now, I'm gonna tell you.
This for me has gone away years ago, whenthe year 2000 came in, I noticed there's
a major drop in doing both the bouquetand garter toss, and it was becoming
more of just a bouquet toss and, Igotta tell you there's reasons for it.
So, one is, people didn'treally like the garter thing.
(12:12):
It got a little sexual.
Sometimes people, got a little tootouchy when they shouldn't have been.
Or you ended up in a weird situationthat your youngest cousin is
the one who caught the bouquet.
And there's an older unclewho caught the garter.
So that's just just weird.
So he always had to use analternative way to make that happen.
So it wasn't that awkward.
A lot of people thoughtit was just too sexual.
And a lot of people too is thebouquet became, unpopular for the
(12:34):
purpose of not everyone wants tobe pointed out that they're single.
When you don't have over a dozen womengoing out there to catch this bouquet,
this may not work out very well.
And you gotta keep in mind that you haveto kind of go through your RSVP list and
figure, who is an outgoing person enoughthat would actually go out there and
then you may wanna kind of talk to them.
(12:55):
Would they do this when it comes time?
Your plus ones don't normally goout there, so you can't count them.
So you wanna make sure you have agood showing because if it's not a
good showing, it's gonna fall flatand you just wasted time doing this
where you just could have kept thedancing going to be quite honest.
We've just explained the history and musicto play for the Bouquet and Garter Toss.
(13:17):
Coming up next.
Eight creative ways to skip them.
But first, if you have a question orconcern, go now to Facebook and join us on
the Stress-Free Wedding Planning Communityand, actually, you could also join us on
the Connecticut Wedding Advice Community.
Join us on our YouTube channel.
Just search for the Stress Free WeddingPlanning podcast with Sal and Sam.
Like, subscribe and get it first.
(13:40):
The Stress Free Wedding PlanningPodcast with Sal and Sam, a podcast
for engaged couples concernedabout Wedding Planning and family
expectations, but who want a stressfree, fun and unforgettable wedding.
Experience the magic of your SpecialDay with Fitzner Productions, our
premier wedding videography companybased in Middletown, Connecticut.
Fitzner Productions dot com.
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Now, Wedding Tip Wednesday.
But first, some marriage advice.
Always answer the question, "Do I lookfat in this?" With .."You look perfect!".
(14:46):
Ha-ha Ha Ha-Ha!
Absolutely true.
Very tricky question.
On today's Wedding Tip Wednesday,Stop Halfway Down The Aisle.
What do I mean?
After the ceremony, when youare walking back down the aisle,
it's called The Recessional.
Stop halfway down the aisle and kiss.
This is another great moment foryour photographer to take a picture
(15:10):
and a chance for you to dip yourpartner and wow your guests.
That's another weddingtip from Sal and Sam.
Wedding Tip Wednesday is availableon the Stress Free Wedding Planning
Facebook group page every Wednesday.
Join the group for free.
Welcome back to our discussion aboutwhat to play for the bouquet guard or
toss in eight creative ways to skip them.
(15:30):
I'm Sal from After HoursEvents of New England.
I'm Sam from Atmosphere Productions.
We've already discussed the historyand the music that you can use for
the bouquet and garter ceremony, pluswhy couples no longer want to do it.
Now let's discuss some alternatives.
Here are a few ideas that keepsguests involved, and sometimes you
(15:52):
may not need a bouquet or garter.
The Anniversary Dance is mynumber one choice for this.
This is a way as skipping thebouquet and garter toss altogether.
You will need your bouquetthough as a giveaway.
How this works is beforehand withyour dj, you choose a song to play.
(16:14):
We invite in my version, there aredifferent versions of doing this.
In my version, we invite all.
The married couples to the dance floor,we start dancing to the song you've chosen
and then we start eliminating everybodythat's been married for one day or less.
Well, that's you, of course.
And then one year, five year10, until we get to 24 years.
(16:36):
Then we congratulate everybody that'sleft because they've celebrated a
quarter century and then 30, 40, 50.
And then what I like todo is start counting down.
Singularly.
So 51, 52, 53.
It builds a little anticipationuntil you get to the last couple on
the dance floor, at which point youare obviously going to give them
(16:59):
your throwaway bouquet or a gift.
It's up to you.
And I usually, invite a littlecomment from the gentleman on the
tip on how, he thinks that you twocan stay married for as long as they
have, and then we play a song to geteverybody back out on the dance floor.
And as you see what You do here isyou fill the dance floor with married
(17:20):
couples and by the time you are done,everybody's in a circle around the
edge of the dance floor and you canjust open up the dancing once again.
Quick and simple.
It's called the AnniversaryCelebration Dance.
Sam.
That's such a wonderful alternative.
Another thing that's been happeningis that no one does anything
except for taking the bouquetand giving it to someone special.
(17:43):
I've watched our brides andour couples come together and
present it to grandparents orto a grandmother or to a mom.
It could be, or a special aunt.
It could be anyone that is trulyspecial and close to you that you
wanna present this bouquet to.
I'm typically asked to make just aquick announcement about how this
(18:06):
bouquet is gonna be presented tothis specific person because of how
special they are in the couple's life.
Yes.
That giving away the bouquet tosomeone special is a great idea.
Another one that you cando is a Ladies Dance.
This is where you play an upbeatgirl power anthem song, and you
invite all the women to dance onthe dance floor, no bouquet needed.
(18:28):
It's like a mini celebration in the middleof your reception for all of the ladies.
And songs that you can use is ShaniaTwain's, "Man, I feel Like A Woman".
Selena Gomez, "Me And My Girls".
David Guetta "Where Them GirlsAt" and Martina McBride's "This
One's For The Girls." So you doa little mini celebration at your
(18:48):
celebration for all the ladies.
Now, here's something that youcould have everyone involved and
we call it The Couples Dance Off.
So what we typically do on oneside of dance floor, we have all
the guys lined up and on the otherside we have the girls lined up.
And the first person on the oppositeside of the line, I should say the first
couple will dance right down the center.
So they're gonna show off theirdance move, having a lot of fun.
(19:10):
And when they come to the end, thenext couple goes and we keep going
and we keep cheering them on untilwe get through everyone who's had
an opportunity to get through that.
And a lot of times what I like to do isdevelop it into a circle at that point and
just have people do dance offs singularly,in the middle of the dance floor.
Just creates a lot offun and a lot of energy.
The great thing about that one, Sal,is that you keep everybody on the dance
(19:32):
floor, and that's what our aim is.
Up next is what we call theCharity Bouquet Auction.
Now this takes a littlebit of planning in advance.
I've done this once at a weddinga few years ago, and you are
going to auction off your bouquet.
So firstly, you're gonna find a charitythat you can donate the money to.
(19:53):
You print up a little card with whatyou're going to do during the auction,
and basically the DJ auctions offthe bouquet to the highest bidder.
I would typically suggest that wedo this at some point during the
dinner or at the very end of dinner.
So that way we don't interruptthe dancing 'cause remember,
everybody's gotta be seated for this.
(20:15):
And you are just going to take bidsuntil you get the highest bidder.
Whoever bids the highest, getsthe bouquet and obviously pays the
money to the charity of your choice.
Now something else you could do isGift Your Bouquet To An Engaged Couple.
So if you have a close familymember or a really good friend
who has just gotten engaged.
(20:36):
You could present the bouquetto them, 'cause obviously
they're the next to get married.
So it makes all the sense in the world.
So now you've just gotta rid thatsuperstition because they are next.
Here's the bouquet.
Enjoy!
Congratulate them and have somekind words for them over the
microphone and the couple willundoubtedly be amazed and leave the
wedding with smiles on their faces.
(20:58):
For you made them a bigpart of your special day.
But what is always important, alwaystalk to the couple ahead of time.
Make sure they don't mind the attention,because if they're not attention people,
you may not want to do this, becauseyou don't wanna embarrass anybody.
Good point there, Sal.
Like that.
Next you can do somethingthat's very typical at parties.
(21:19):
It's something called Musical Chairs.
Everybody knows how toplay musical chairs.
You get chairs in a circle and it'salways one less than the count of
people that are on the dance floor.
Play the music until the lasttwo participants are left with
one chair and the one participantwho fails to sit is eliminated.
And what we call the winner would then getthe throwaway, bouquet or another gift if
(21:44):
you didn't want to give away your flowers.
So music chairs.
Nice alternative there.
Hear's something real simple,just skip it all entirely.
The popularity of the bouquetgarter tradition in recent years
has really declined, so why do it?
Just keep having fun.
Let's get that dance floor going.
Keep that dance music going and having agreat time with your family and friends.
(22:07):
That's what they came to your wedding for,to have a great time with the two of you.
Yeah, you can skip it all together.
that's great.
So our eight alternatives are skippingthe bouquet and garter toss altogether.
Play musical chairs.
Give the gift of the bouquetto an engaged couple.
Do a charity auction.
(22:27):
Do a couple's dance off.
You can also do a ladies only dance, andyou can also do a giveaway of the bouquet.
And the number one is theanniversary celebration dance.
Remember, you should feelfree to personalize your
wedding, however you see fit.
(22:48):
In choosing which traditions youwant to uphold and which ones you
want to add, is entirely up to you.
So there you have it.
We've just explained what to playfor the bouquet and garter toss, and
eight creative ways to just skip it.
Whether you stick to it with tradition orgo for something new, make it fun, make
it you, and let the music do the rest.
(23:10):
Now as you spend the next week planningyour wedding, if you want me, Sal,
or our community of Stress-Freeengaged couples and wedding experts to
answer any wedding related questions,then join us in the Stress-Free
Wedding Planning Facebook group.
Once you're in, go ahead and share yourconcerns and worries, and we'll let you
know if you are on the right track or ifthere are some things you need to work on.
(23:32):
The link to join us is in theshow notes of this edition, or
go to Facebook and search for theStress-Free Wedding Planning community.
Remember to do something nice forsomeone today, and if you can't,
then do something nice for yourself.
If you've enjoyed what you've justheard, leave a review and share it
with a friend or someone who wouldbenefit from this information.
Until next time, it's TTFN, Tata now.
(23:55):
Thank you for listening to this edition.
A new edition is released every Wednesday.
Subscribe and get it.
First we'll catch.
Ciao.
The Stress-Free Wedding PlanningPodcast is produced and copyrighted by
Atmosphere Productions in associationwith After Hours Events of New England.
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