From Chaos to Freedom: The Power of Personal Responsibility

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Ever caught yourself saying "I'm responsible" while your life crumbles around you? That's what I call the illusion of responsibility—looking put-together while avoiding ownership of the chaos within. As a recovering alcoholic, I've mastered the art of deflection, blaming everyone from my boss to my spouse for my drinking, never stopping to ask: "What's my part in this?"

The hard truth I discovered is that in every broken situation in my life, there was one common denominator—me. This revelation isn't just humbling; it's the foundation of genuine recovery. When we finally stop pointing fingers outward and direct them inward, we reclaim our power to change. Responsibility isn't a burden; it's the key that unlocks transformation.

Similarly, many of us mistake survival for discipline. We congratulate ourselves for barely holding it together instead of building actual structure. True discipline begins with small, consistent actions—attending meetings, making calls when we don't want to, following through on commitments. These seemingly simple practices are seeds that grow into rhythms, transforming effort into freedom. Discipline doesn't cage us; it creates the structure that addiction destroys, offering stability in finances, health, and relationships.

Recovery is about rebuilding trust with yourself one promise at a time. It's about shifting from victim to author of your own story. Whether you're struggling with addiction, depression, or feeling trapped in chaos, remember: you weren't made to struggle. Take one small step toward responsibility today. Pick one area for practicing discipline. You don't need to figure everything out at once—just plant that first seed. Your journey to freedom begins when you finally stop running and start owning your life. Ready to take that step?

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Episode Transcript

Corey Berrier (00:00):
Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
I'm your host, Corey Berrier,and today we're going to talk
about personal responsibility,discipline and recovery Three of
the things that I hold near anddear to my heart.
So the illusion ofresponsibility.

(00:22):
When I was drinking, I toldmyself I was responsible, I
could hold a job, I could paythe bills.
At least most of the time Itold myself I've got this.
But the truth is I was lying.
I was lying to myself.
I was lying to everyone else,because responsibility isn't

(00:47):
about appearances.
Responsibility is aboutownership, and alcoholics,
myself included, are experts atlooking responsible while living
irresponsibly.
We'll show up to work but leavea trail of broken promises at

(01:09):
home.
We'll pay rent but ignore thewreckage of our relationships.
So think about it.
Where in your life have youconvinced yourself you're
responsible when, deep down, youknow you're only keeping up

(01:29):
appearances?
You know alcoholics areworld-class excuse makers.
We say things like it's myboss's fault that I drink.
If you live with my spouse, youdrink too.
I'm under stress.
This is how I wind down, andthen blame becomes our default

(01:55):
setting.
Anything but looking in themirror.
And the trap is this the morewe we deflect, the more
powerless we become, because ifit's always someone else's fault
, then we're always waiting onsomeone else to change.

(02:18):
What if, just for a moment, youstopped blaming people?
You asked yourself what's mypart in this?
That question is the beginningof responsibility, and there's a

(02:39):
cost.
There's a cost to beingresponsible.
There's also a cost to beingresponsible.
There's also a cost to beingirresponsible.
You know, irresponsibilityalways leaves a trail Missed
bills, missed birthdays, missedopportunities, the car gets
repossessed, the job that slipsaway, the kids who stop trusting

(03:02):
your word stop trusting yourword, you know.
And every time the alcoholicsays I'll do better next time.
But that next time never comes,because responsibility can't
grow in the soil of denial.

(03:23):
So imagine standing in themiddle of that wreckage the
unpaid bills, the disappointedfaces, the broken promises.
Can you see it, can you feel it?
And now ask yourself is thatreally who I want to be?

(03:45):
Here's the truth that finallyhit me.
Every broken situation, therewas a common denominator that
was me.
I could blame the boss, I couldblame my wife.
I could blame the boss, I couldblame my wife, I could blame

(04:06):
the stress, but the problemskept following me wherever I
went.
Why?
Because I was the problem.
And the turning point inrecovery isn't when the world
changes.
It's when you admit that youhave to change.
When the world changes, it'swhen you admit that you have to

(04:26):
change.
What if responsibility Isn'tabout Controlling everything
around you but about owningEverything within you?
Because the moment you takeresponsibility for your life Is
the moment that you finally Getthe power to change it.

(04:48):
The discipline myth when I wasdrinking, I convinced myself I
had discipline.
I would say things like I showup to work, don't I?
I can drink more than anybodyelse.
That takes stamina.
I get through the day.
That's discipline.

(05:11):
But the truth is none of thatwas discipline.
It was pure survival.
It was chaos disguised ascontrol.
Think about it.
Where in your life are youmistaking chaos for discipline?

(05:34):
Where do you pat yourself onthe back for barely holding it
together instead of actuallybuilding a structure?
You know your mind and your bodyin addiction is powerful.

(05:54):
Addiction robs the body and themind of discipline.
Sleep becomes irregular, eatingis inconsistent, promises are
forgotten.
Eating is inconsistent,promises are forgotten.
The body craves routine, but inaddiction there is none.

(06:19):
You wake up sick, you chaserelief, you repeat the only
discipline is making sure youdon't run out of whatever
substance you're using, andthat's not discipline, that's

(06:41):
bondage.
Imagine a life where your bodyfeels steady, your mind feels
clear and your actions alignwith your values.
That's what true disciplinemeans.
And listen, there's alwayspatterns.

(07:03):
You know, active addiction lookslike no structure, no
consistency, no follow-through.
The bills pile up, deadlines,pass calls go unanswered, texts

(07:25):
go unanswered and every time wepromise ourselves next time,
next time I'll get it together.
But without discipline, thatnext time never comes.
Picture this Can you seeyourself trying to juggle 10

(07:47):
balls while you're drunk?
Can you see yourself trying tojuggle 10 balls while you're
drunk?
Bills, relationships, promises,taking care of your health One
by one, all those balls fall andthat's a really good picture of
what being undisciplined reallylooks like.

(08:09):
You know, the beauty of recoveryis this Discipline starts small
, but it starts real.
You show up to a meeting, youpick up the phone, you pray, you
write, and at first it seemssimple, too simple.

(08:29):
But those small acts are tinyseeds being planted.
They are seeds of structure,seeds of consistency, and slowly
those seeds start to grow intoa rhythm, one day at a time, one
promise kept at a time.

(08:50):
So ask yourself what's onesmall thing you can do, one
small act of discipline.
You can plant today Just oneseed, because that's how
recovery begins.
My friend, my friend, recoverybegins when you're not.

(09:28):
Recovery begins when youfinally stop pointing the finger
outward and start pointing itinward, when you say it wasn't
my boss, it wasn't my spouse, itwasn't the stress, it was me.

(09:50):
But that's terrifying becauseit means you can't hide anymore.
But it's also liberating,because when you own your
choices, you get your power back.
Imagine carrying a set of keysyou didn't even know you had.
Every time you say this is mypart, another door unlocks, and

(10:16):
that's reclaiming yourresponsibility.
But it takes practice.
Discipline in recovery doesn'tshow up in grand gestures, it
shows up in practice.
You show up for meetings, youpray and meditate, you pick up
the phone when you don't want to, you write, you read, you pick

(10:37):
up the phone when you don't wantto.
You write, you read, you listenand one day at a time, one
practice at a time, that rhythm,that steady heartbeat is
discipline being rebuilt andover time, what felt like effort
becomes habit, what felt forcedbecomes freedom.

(10:59):
And that shift happens quietly.
At first you're just followingdirections, doing what others
suggest, but then somethingchanges.
You stop being a victim of yourstory.
You stop reacting to everythingand you start responding.

(11:22):
You stop waiting for life tofix itself and start building it
one day at a time.
What would your life look like?
Instead of being tossed around,like by circumstances, you
became a more steady center.

(11:42):
Uh, the?
That's the inner shift recoverycreates at least it has for me.
So if you're not driving, youknow, close your eyes for a
moment and picture this.
You wake up tomorrow and forthe first time, you keep every

(12:03):
promise you make to yourself.
Dude, I'm telling you it feelsamazing.
You do the things you saidyou'd do.
You follow through on what youcommitted to Now, notice how
that feels.
There's a weight that lifts andyour pride grows in a positive

(12:27):
way.
That trust begins.
You rebuilding yourself, andthat's discipline, that's
responsibility, that's freedom.
But here's the truth Freedomdoesn't come from avoiding

(12:52):
responsibility, it comes fromembracing it.
You know, in addiction,responsibility felt like a
burden.
Every bill, every promise,every commitment was something
to dodge.
But in recovery, responsibilitybecomes power.
It's the anchor that steadiesyour life.

(13:16):
And when you say to yourself,you know, that's my problem, I'm
going to fix it.
You stop being a victim ofcircumstances.
You, you become the author ofyour own life.

(13:45):
So ask yourself, where in yourlife do you need to stop running
and start owning your shit?
Most people think disciplinecages you in, but discipline is
actually what sets you free.
When you have discipline inyour finances, you stop living
paycheck to paycheck.
When you have discipline inyour health, you stop living in

(14:06):
sickness.
When you have discipline inyour mind, you stop living with
fear.
So imagine your life with thatkind of structure Not rigid, not
controlling, but steady, solidand free.
That's really what disciplineoffers, and sobriety isn't.

(14:29):
It's not just about notdrinking, it's about what you
build in place of that drinking,of that drinking.
You know, the legacy ofsobriety is modeling
responsibility and disciplinefor those around you, your kids,

(14:50):
your husband, your wife, yourco-workers, your community.
When people see that you keepyour word and they see you
follow through and they see thatyou're no longer chaotic, in
that they learned somethingpriceless.
That change is possible.

(15:14):
So, as I wrap this up, here's mychallenge to you what's one
area in your life where you needto step into responsibility and
what's an area in your lifethat you need to practice
discipline?
Just one.
You don't need to figure out 10, and you don't need to do them
all at once, but if you do itone step at a time, you know

(15:43):
responsibility and disciplineisn't about lifting the heaviest
weights.
It's a path to freedom.
So I would invite you today ifyou heard something that you
liked, if you know somebodythat's struggling maybe it's you

(16:05):
, maybe it's not you go back andre-listen to this, because I
can tell you from my ownexperience it's a lot better
life out there than the struggle.
You're not made to struggle,whether you're struggling with

(16:31):
depression or eating disorder ordrinking or drugs or all of
them.
God didn't put you here tostruggle.
He just didn't.
But we get trapped in our ownminds.
We think we know the solution.
The problem is you're thinkingtoo much.

(16:53):
So appreciate you guyslistening.
We'll see you next Friday.
Don't forget to subscribe tothe podcast.
Leave us a review and we'll seeyou next Friday.