June 13, 2025 • 23 mins
Feeling pulled in all directions? Burnt out? Secretly resenting customers, coworkers, or even family? It's time to master the art of boundaries.
The trades world celebrates problem solvers and those who go the extra mile, but without proper boundaries, that admirable work ethic leads straight to exhaustion and frustration. In this powerful episode, we dive deep into what boundaries really are (hint: not walls keeping people out, but fences protecting what matters most) and why they're especially crucial for plumbers, HVAC techs, drain specialists, and other skilled tradespeople.
You'll discover why setting boundaries feels so difficult, especially when we're conditioned to be providers rather than protectors of our own time. I share the exact phrases you can use to say no without guilt, protect your energy on job sites, and hold the line when people test your limits. From dealing with demanding customers to managing after-hours work calls, these practical examples will transform how you approach your professional and personal life.
Remember this: "A boundary without consequences is not a boundary." Learn how to not just set limits but enforce them consistently, even as they evolve throughout your career. Understand that when you first start setting boundaries, people might resist—and that's actually proof they're working! Your job isn't to keep everyone happy; it's to keep yourself healthy, focused, and respected.
Ready to reclaim your time, energy, and self-respect? Take my challenge: identify one area where you're saying yes but really want to say no, and commit to changing that pattern this week. Your future self will thank you.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Corey Berrier (00:00):
Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
I'm your host, Corey Berrier.
What's up y'all?
Today's episode is a big one,and it's packed with real talk,
practical tools, and personalexperiences on a topic that
nobody teaches you, but everysingle one of us needs to master
(00:21):
.
We're talking about boundariestoday.
That's right, Boundaries in thefield, boundaries in your
family, boundaries at the shop,boundaries with your team,
boundaries with your boss, hell,even with your customers.
Because, let's be honest, asplumbers and drain technicians
(00:44):
and sewer specialists and HVACtechs, we're problem solvers.
We show up, we fix things, wesay yes, we go the extra mile,
and that's great.
But if we're not careful, weend up giving too much of
ourselves physically, mentally,and emotionally.
(01:07):
So today, this is what we'redoing.
This is what we're talkingabout today, boundaries, they're
why and most of us strugglewith boundaries.
How to say no without feelingguilty.
How do do you hold the linewhen people test you?
(01:28):
on the job and at home.
HowIf you've ever felt burnt out or
resentful or like you're beingpulled in 10 different
directions, pay attention.
(01:49):
This podcast is for you, solet's get into it.
What are boundaries really?
Let's start with the basics.
A boundary is not a wall.
It's not shutting people out.
A boundary is not a wall.
It's not shutting people out.
It's not about being rude orbeing selfish.
A boundary is a fence A fencearound what matters most to you.
(02:13):
It tells people what you willallow and what you won't, and it
sets the stage of how you wantto be treated.
So it's sort of like.
I'll give you an example.
It's like a clean out.
You need a clear access pointto control the flow.
(02:39):
Without it, everything backs upand eventually explodes.
It's the same thing with yourlife.
If you don't have boundaries,pressure builds up and suddenly
you're snapping at your kids,you're ghosting your buddies and
you're resenting your customers.
(02:59):
So why is setting boundaries,why does it feel so damn hard?
Let's be honest here,especially with the guys in the
trucks every day, right, settingboundaries isn't easy.
Why?
Because we don't want todisappoint people I've gone
(03:20):
through the same thing.
Because we're taught to beproviders, not protectors, of
our own time.
Because we care about whatpeople think, especially family
coworkers, even customers.
How many times have you saidyes to a weekend call that you
(03:41):
didn't want to take, that youdidn't want to take, or stay
late when you were alreadyexhausted, or agree to something
just to keep the peace.
Well, it seems easier in themoment, but long term, it chips
away at your self-respect, andit chips away in such a small
(04:09):
way that you don't even realizeit's happening.
Boundaries protect what youvalue.
Think about this If you sayfamily is important, but you
never make it home for dinnerbecause you're constantly
overcommitting, make it home fordinner because you're
constantly over committing, whatdoes that say about you?
(04:29):
Boundaries are not just aboutsaying no.
They're about the really howyou, how you, honor your own
values If you're.
If your health matters, set aboundary around, rest If your
family matters, protect timewith them.
If your professionalism matters, you don't allow people to
(04:53):
treat you like a doormat.
The people around you learnwhat you value by what you allow
.
Not what you say, but what youallow, and you know it's so.
The art of saying no withoutfeeling guilty is the most
(05:19):
powerful tool in your wordtoolbox, so to speak.
It's the word no.
No, I'm not available tonight.
No, I can't take another job.
No, that doesn't work for me.
That's it.
You don't owe this extremelylong explanation, or you don't
owe them a TED talk.
(05:39):
You don't owe them an apology.
No is a complete sentence.
The more you explain, the moreit sounds like you're asking for
permission and you're not.
And if you're worried aboutsounding like a jerk, remember
this being clear is being kind.
(06:10):
Saying yes when you mean nobreeds resentment, and that's
far worse than just saying no.
So you've got to protect yourself-esteem.
Right?
It's like a bouncer at a bar.
Right, be the bouncer of yourself-esteem.
You've got to stop lettingpeople get in your head like
it's a free ticket into anightclub.
(06:30):
Right, think of your confidencelike a nightclub.
You know there's a velvet rope.
You're the bouncer.
Just because someone sayssomething like you're being
selfish.
You used to run these calls forme.
You should be more flexibleDoesn't mean you have to let
(06:52):
them pass that rope at thenightclub as an example.
You choose what gets in.
You choose what affects you.
If someone criticizes you fortaking time off, guess what?
That's not about you, that'sabout them.
It's about their needs, notyours.
And when you set boundaries, aboundary without consequences is
(07:19):
not a boundary.
A boundary without consequencesis not a boundary.
Let's get real for a boundary.
A boundary without consequencesis not a boundary.
Let's get real for a second youcan say all the boundaries you
want, but if there's noconsequences for crossing them,
(07:40):
it's just a suggestion.
Here's an example you tell yourcoworker not to call you after 8
pm.
He keeps calling you.
Answer anyway.
That's not a boundary, that's awish.
Just wish he wouldn't call meafter eight.
Instead of setting a boundary,then look, if someone keeps
stepping over the line, it's noton them, it's on you.
(08:01):
It's not on them, it's on you.
End the phone call, walk away,stop showing up for people that
disrespect your time.
Say it once, enforce it twiceand always follow through.
And boundaries evolve, andthat's okay.
(08:24):
Here's something most peopledon't consider.
You know, boundaries aren't setin stone.
They shift as you grow.
When you, you know what youallowed when you were broke
doesn't apply now.
What you allowed when you weresingle or what worked for you
(08:46):
when you were single and nowyou've got a family needs to
change.
What you accepted earlier inyour earlier in your career
doesn't apply.
Once you've earned the respectof whatever your position is now
, boundaries should grow withyou.
You need to check in, you needto adjust and you need to
(09:07):
communicate.
It's just like you'd replace anold cast iron pipe.
Some boundaries need to beupgraded as well.
So there's some boundaries youcan set in the field.
Let's talk about running a drainjob.
Here's a few real-worldexamples of boundaries on the
(09:28):
job.
Customer wants you to just runa snake, even though the camera
shows a collapse line.
I appreciate you could say thisto the customer.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate that you'relooking for a quick fix, mr
Customer, but I can't do atemporary repair when I know it
(09:49):
won't solve the issue long-term.
My job is to do it right.
Here's another example Ifyou're off the clock, your
neighbor says hey, you got fiveminutes.
I just need you to take a quicklook at this.
I appreciate you thinking aboutme, mr Neighbor, but I'm off
duty.
Let's get you on the schedule,or your office calls on your day
(10:12):
off.
Just this once.
I need help.
I've been clear that today isblocked off for my family.
If there's a real emergency,I'm here, but I can't take a
routine call today.
This isn't being rude, this isprofessional self-respect.
(10:38):
So how about boundaries on yourteam?
Let's flip it in the house fora second.
Your coworker constantly dumpsextra work on you.
Set the boundary.
I've got my workload dialed in.
I'm happy to help if I havetime, but I can't take this on
right now.
Your manager texts you at allhours of the night.
(10:59):
You say, for clarity I checkmessages until 6 pm, anything
after that, I'll get it to youin the morning.
Until 6 pm, anything after that, I'll get it to you in the
morning.
A newer technician is ridinglike you.
Get on your last nerve.
I want to work together, mr NewTechnician, but I need respect
in our conversations.
If that changes, I'm happy tocollaborate with you Again clear
(11:23):
, direct, respectful.
So here's the thing.
Boundaries are not somethingthat you get to hide behind.
I'll give you a real example.
One of my technicians sent me amessage yesterday.
I call and follow up and closethe deals that they can't, or
just assist them with closingthe deals in the house.
That's my job, part of my job.
(11:43):
That's my favorite part of myjob.
Job part of my job.
That's my favorite part of myjob.
Anyway, he sent me everythingthat happened at the house,
everything about the customer,the customer's name and phone
number, and asked me to call.
He even called me on the phoneand said here's what happened.
Here'sda-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
.
And I said yes, of course I'lltake care of it for you.
(12:06):
I was in the truck I'm notgiving you excuses because
there's no excuse but I forgotto call the customer back.
I made a commitment to mytechnician that I would handle
this for him.
Now I'm a human being and Imake mistakes, just like anybody
else, and I won't make thatmistake again.
(12:27):
Because that and here's thething last night.
Let's just pretend that I saidI don't talk on the phone after
six o'clock, which I don't saythat.
But if I did, and I forgot tomake that call, which I did last
night, it was seven o'clockwhen I got home.
You best damn believe thatcustomer got a call from me.
You best believe they got atext message from me.
(12:47):
I didn't get a hold of thecustomer.
You best believe I'll be onthat first thing this morning
because I dropped the ball.
I dropped the ball and I toldthe technician.
I called him.
I said hey, dude, like I 100%dropped the ball on this and he
was cool because I usually don'tdrop the ball, but sometimes
(13:11):
those things happen.
But you can't say you know, ifyou realize at 7 pm that you've
dropped the ball and yourboundary is I don't work after 6
pm, your boundary needs to movea little bit because you
dropped the ball.
I dropped the ball.
If it would have been nineo'clock at night, when I should
be in bed, I would have madethat call, because it's my job
(13:34):
to make sure I do the thingsthat I say I'm going to do, and
I want to make sure that I don'tlose the respect of my team.
So here are some things thatyou can use and memorize.
When it comes to settingboundaries, that doesn't work
for me.
I need to think about, I needtime to think about this before
(13:56):
I say, yes, I'm not availablethen, but here's what I can do.
I understand, but I won't bedoing that.
I hear you, but I'm going tostick with what I said earlier.
These are powerful tools foryour life, for your family, for
your friends, for yourrelationships, for your kids.
(14:17):
So let's talk about whathappens when you start setting
boundaries.
Let me warn you, when you startsetting real boundaries, people
are not going to like it.
They're going to say stuff likeCorey, you've changed, you're
(14:40):
just not as available as youused to be, you're not being a
team player, but guess what?
That's proof that theboundaries are working when
people are used to you being ayes man and suddenly you stop.
They feel it.
Let them, let them feel it.
(15:00):
Your job isn't to keep everyonehappy.
Your job is to keep yourselfhealthy, focused and respected.
Now, how do boundaries?
Let me go back for a second.
If you're now, if you're in astartup company, like I'm, in a
newer company, there are thingsthat you've got to do in that
(15:20):
situation where boundariesreally don't matter, because
you're trying to.
You're trying to build this,we're trying to build this
company quickly, and it takes alot of hats to do that and it
takes, you know, one personwearing several hats to make
these things happen.
(15:40):
So if you're in a situation likethat, then you know you got to
have boundaries, but at the sametime, you also got to
understand what you signed upfor.
And if you know, if you're in awell-established organization
that's been around for 15 years,well that's a different story
when people are just running allover you asking you to do
(16:02):
things that you shouldn't bedoing.
But when you're in the earlierstages of a company, you got to
be willing.
You got to be willing to dowhatever it takes to make it
work, because running a businessis hard and there's a lot of
moving parts and, at the end ofthe day, if that's not you, the
boundary is you shouldn't takethat job.
(16:23):
It's that simple.
That job, it's that simple.
So boundaries help you buildconfidence.
They and you get more energyfrom that.
Do you want more energy at work?
Do you want to feel morefocused?
You want to stop resenting yourcustomers, your team, your
family, because you're not goingto be able to do that If you
(16:43):
start resenting your customers,they're going to feel that
resentment.
They're going to feel like youdon't want to be there, and no
company wants to have anemployee that's resentful.
It's just, that's all there isto it.
Set clear boundaries, right.
Don't let yourself get intothat situation.
(17:05):
Right, don't let yourself getinto that situation.
When you start, when you stop,you know when you, when you stop
leaking out your energy throughguilt, overcommitment, people
pleasing, you finally show up asyour best self on and off the
job.
Boundaries are not, they're notjust defense, they're the
(17:26):
offense of your life.
You're protecting yourself bysetting boundaries, and you know
.
Let's just talk about thepeople pleasing thing.
I've been a people pleaser allmy life and it's draining
because you always feel likeyou're being taken advantage of,
but you are the one lettingpeople take advantage of you
because you're being takenadvantage of, but you are the
(17:47):
one letting people takeadvantage of you because you're
overcommitting.
You're people pleasing.
You just want to do the nextthing that makes the boss happy.
At the end of the day, you'regoing to wind up being miserable
if you don't watch that.
Don't take on stuff that youdon't know how to do.
Don't commit to doing somethingthat you're not going to have
(18:08):
time to do, because it's goingto backfire on you.
So I want you to think aboutthis week.
I'm going to give you a quickchallenge.
I want you to pick out one areain your life where you're
saying yes, but you really wantto say no, and maybe that's yeah
, honey, I'll be home by six,knowing you're not going to make
(18:32):
it home by six.
And instead of saying I'm notgoing to make it home by six,
you say, oh, yeah, I'll be thereby six.
Well, now you've broken trustwith your wife or your
girlfriend, whoever it is thatyou're saying that to.
You know, write that stuff down.
Write it down and then reallyassess how you can change by
(18:53):
clearly and calmly communicatingthe things that you would
really rather say no to and thenback it up with action and
watch what changes.
Listen, this will change yourenergy.
Like I said before, it'llchange your confidence.
It'll change how you show upwith your customers.
(19:14):
It'll change how you show upwith your wife or your fiance or
your girlfriend or whateveryou're whoever it is you're with
.
Because listen, dude, like yourjob is important.
If you're in the trades, peoplecan't do the things that you do
(19:37):
every day.
So it drives me nuts when Ihear people say well, I'm just a
plumber or I'm just an h-factechnician, or I'm just an HVAC
technician or I'm just anelectrician Bullshit.
You're doing jobs that mostpeople don't know how to do.
You're doing jobs that mostpeople don't want to do.
Most people don't want to digthrough feces to fix a problem,
(20:02):
but if you're a plumber, you arethe guy that does that.
Don't discount the fact thatyou do the work that most people
don't want to do.
So appreciate you listening tothe Successful Life Podcast.
I hope this episode has helpedyou see boundaries a bit
(20:23):
different.
I'd ask you share this withyour team.
Share it with your family.
Boundary's a bit different.
I'd ask you share this withyour team, share it with your
family, share it with youremployees, if you're an owner,
(20:43):
because you know this is goingto help you lead with clarity,
confidence, calm boundaries andeverybody wins.
So I know, if you're listeningto this show, you want to get
better, you want to be moresuccessful, you want to be
happier and this, my friend,will help you get there.
So until next week I appreciateyou listening Do me a favor Go
to Apple Podcasts, scroll downto about the middle.
(21:03):
You'll see where it says Rateand Review.
Hit the five stars, leave awritten review for me, because
it helps us get this out to morepeople.
You know I don't get paid to dothis.
I do this because I reallyenjoy it and I hope that it
helps people and I know there'sa few that it does and if you're
(21:27):
one of those few and youhaven't left a review, I'd
appreciate it if you would.
All right, guys, we'll see younext week.
Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
I'm your host, Corey Berrier.
What's up y'all?
Today's episode is a big one,and it's packed with real talk,
practical tools, and personalexperiences on a topic that
nobody teaches you, but everysingle one of us needs to master
(00:21):
.
We're talking about boundariestoday.
That's right, Boundaries in thefield, boundaries in your
family, boundaries at the shop,boundaries with your team,
boundaries with your boss, hell,even with your customers.
Because, let's be honest, asplumbers and drain technicians
(00:44):
and sewer specialists and HVACtechs, we're problem solvers.
We show up, we fix things, wesay yes, we go the extra mile,
and that's great.
But if we're not careful, weend up giving too much of
ourselves physically, mentally,and emotionally.
(01:07):
So today, this is what we'redoing.
This is what we're talkingabout today, boundaries, they're
why and most of us strugglewith boundaries.
How to say no without feelingguilty.
How do do you hold the linewhen people test you?
(01:28):
on the job and at home.
HowIf you've ever felt burnt out or
resentful or like you're beingpulled in 10 different
directions, pay attention.
(01:49):
This podcast is for you, solet's get into it.
What are boundaries really?
Let's start with the basics.
A boundary is not a wall.
It's not shutting people out.
A boundary is not a wall.
It's not shutting people out.
It's not about being rude orbeing selfish.
A boundary is a fence A fencearound what matters most to you.
(02:13):
It tells people what you willallow and what you won't, and it
sets the stage of how you wantto be treated.
So it's sort of like.
I'll give you an example.
It's like a clean out.
You need a clear access pointto control the flow.
(02:39):
Without it, everything backs upand eventually explodes.
It's the same thing with yourlife.
If you don't have boundaries,pressure builds up and suddenly
you're snapping at your kids,you're ghosting your buddies and
you're resenting your customers.
(02:59):
So why is setting boundaries,why does it feel so damn hard?
Let's be honest here,especially with the guys in the
trucks every day, right, settingboundaries isn't easy.
Why?
Because we don't want todisappoint people I've gone
(03:20):
through the same thing.
Because we're taught to beproviders, not protectors, of
our own time.
Because we care about whatpeople think, especially family
coworkers, even customers.
How many times have you saidyes to a weekend call that you
(03:41):
didn't want to take, that youdidn't want to take, or stay
late when you were alreadyexhausted, or agree to something
just to keep the peace.
Well, it seems easier in themoment, but long term, it chips
away at your self-respect, andit chips away in such a small
(04:09):
way that you don't even realizeit's happening.
Boundaries protect what youvalue.
Think about this If you sayfamily is important, but you
never make it home for dinnerbecause you're constantly
overcommitting, make it home fordinner because you're
constantly over committing, whatdoes that say about you?
(04:29):
Boundaries are not just aboutsaying no.
They're about the really howyou, how you, honor your own
values If you're.
If your health matters, set aboundary around, rest If your
family matters, protect timewith them.
If your professionalism matters, you don't allow people to
(04:53):
treat you like a doormat.
The people around you learnwhat you value by what you allow
.
Not what you say, but what youallow, and you know it's so.
The art of saying no withoutfeeling guilty is the most
(05:19):
powerful tool in your wordtoolbox, so to speak.
It's the word no.
No, I'm not available tonight.
No, I can't take another job.
No, that doesn't work for me.
That's it.
You don't owe this extremelylong explanation, or you don't
owe them a TED talk.
(05:39):
You don't owe them an apology.
No is a complete sentence.
The more you explain, the moreit sounds like you're asking for
permission and you're not.
And if you're worried aboutsounding like a jerk, remember
this being clear is being kind.
(06:10):
Saying yes when you mean nobreeds resentment, and that's
far worse than just saying no.
So you've got to protect yourself-esteem.
Right?
It's like a bouncer at a bar.
Right, be the bouncer of yourself-esteem.
You've got to stop lettingpeople get in your head like
it's a free ticket into anightclub.
(06:30):
Right, think of your confidencelike a nightclub.
You know there's a velvet rope.
You're the bouncer.
Just because someone sayssomething like you're being
selfish.
You used to run these calls forme.
You should be more flexibleDoesn't mean you have to let
(06:52):
them pass that rope at thenightclub as an example.
You choose what gets in.
You choose what affects you.
If someone criticizes you fortaking time off, guess what?
That's not about you, that'sabout them.
It's about their needs, notyours.
And when you set boundaries, aboundary without consequences is
(07:19):
not a boundary.
A boundary without consequencesis not a boundary.
Let's get real for a boundary.
A boundary without consequencesis not a boundary.
Let's get real for a second youcan say all the boundaries you
want, but if there's noconsequences for crossing them,
(07:40):
it's just a suggestion.
Here's an example you tell yourcoworker not to call you after 8
pm.
He keeps calling you.
Answer anyway.
That's not a boundary, that's awish.
Just wish he wouldn't call meafter eight.
Instead of setting a boundary,then look, if someone keeps
stepping over the line, it's noton them, it's on you.
(08:01):
It's not on them, it's on you.
End the phone call, walk away,stop showing up for people that
disrespect your time.
Say it once, enforce it twiceand always follow through.
And boundaries evolve, andthat's okay.
(08:24):
Here's something most peopledon't consider.
You know, boundaries aren't setin stone.
They shift as you grow.
When you, you know what youallowed when you were broke
doesn't apply now.
What you allowed when you weresingle or what worked for you
(08:46):
when you were single and nowyou've got a family needs to
change.
What you accepted earlier inyour earlier in your career
doesn't apply.
Once you've earned the respectof whatever your position is now
, boundaries should grow withyou.
You need to check in, you needto adjust and you need to
(09:07):
communicate.
It's just like you'd replace anold cast iron pipe.
Some boundaries need to beupgraded as well.
So there's some boundaries youcan set in the field.
Let's talk about running a drainjob.
Here's a few real-worldexamples of boundaries on the
(09:28):
job.
Customer wants you to just runa snake, even though the camera
shows a collapse line.
I appreciate you could say thisto the customer.
I appreciate you.
I appreciate that you'relooking for a quick fix, mr
Customer, but I can't do atemporary repair when I know it
(09:49):
won't solve the issue long-term.
My job is to do it right.
Here's another example Ifyou're off the clock, your
neighbor says hey, you got fiveminutes.
I just need you to take a quicklook at this.
I appreciate you thinking aboutme, mr Neighbor, but I'm off
duty.
Let's get you on the schedule,or your office calls on your day
(10:12):
off.
Just this once.
I need help.
I've been clear that today isblocked off for my family.
If there's a real emergency,I'm here, but I can't take a
routine call today.
This isn't being rude, this isprofessional self-respect.
(10:38):
So how about boundaries on yourteam?
Let's flip it in the house fora second.
Your coworker constantly dumpsextra work on you.
Set the boundary.
I've got my workload dialed in.
I'm happy to help if I havetime, but I can't take this on
right now.
Your manager texts you at allhours of the night.
(10:59):
You say, for clarity I checkmessages until 6 pm, anything
after that, I'll get it to youin the morning.
Until 6 pm, anything after that, I'll get it to you in the
morning.
A newer technician is ridinglike you.
Get on your last nerve.
I want to work together, mr NewTechnician, but I need respect
in our conversations.
If that changes, I'm happy tocollaborate with you Again clear
(11:23):
, direct, respectful.
So here's the thing.
Boundaries are not somethingthat you get to hide behind.
I'll give you a real example.
One of my technicians sent me amessage yesterday.
I call and follow up and closethe deals that they can't, or
just assist them with closingthe deals in the house.
That's my job, part of my job.
(11:43):
That's my favorite part of myjob.
Job part of my job.
That's my favorite part of myjob.
Anyway, he sent me everythingthat happened at the house,
everything about the customer,the customer's name and phone
number, and asked me to call.
He even called me on the phoneand said here's what happened.
Here'sda-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
.
And I said yes, of course I'lltake care of it for you.
(12:06):
I was in the truck I'm notgiving you excuses because
there's no excuse but I forgotto call the customer back.
I made a commitment to mytechnician that I would handle
this for him.
Now I'm a human being and Imake mistakes, just like anybody
else, and I won't make thatmistake again.
(12:27):
Because that and here's thething last night.
Let's just pretend that I saidI don't talk on the phone after
six o'clock, which I don't saythat.
But if I did, and I forgot tomake that call, which I did last
night, it was seven o'clockwhen I got home.
You best damn believe thatcustomer got a call from me.
You best believe they got atext message from me.
(12:47):
I didn't get a hold of thecustomer.
You best believe I'll be onthat first thing this morning
because I dropped the ball.
I dropped the ball and I toldthe technician.
I called him.
I said hey, dude, like I 100%dropped the ball on this and he
was cool because I usually don'tdrop the ball, but sometimes
(13:11):
those things happen.
But you can't say you know, ifyou realize at 7 pm that you've
dropped the ball and yourboundary is I don't work after 6
pm, your boundary needs to movea little bit because you
dropped the ball.
I dropped the ball.
If it would have been nineo'clock at night, when I should
be in bed, I would have madethat call, because it's my job
(13:34):
to make sure I do the thingsthat I say I'm going to do, and
I want to make sure that I don'tlose the respect of my team.
So here are some things thatyou can use and memorize.
When it comes to settingboundaries, that doesn't work
for me.
I need to think about, I needtime to think about this before
(13:56):
I say, yes, I'm not availablethen, but here's what I can do.
I understand, but I won't bedoing that.
I hear you, but I'm going tostick with what I said earlier.
These are powerful tools foryour life, for your family, for
your friends, for yourrelationships, for your kids.
(14:17):
So let's talk about whathappens when you start setting
boundaries.
Let me warn you, when you startsetting real boundaries, people
are not going to like it.
They're going to say stuff likeCorey, you've changed, you're
(14:40):
just not as available as youused to be, you're not being a
team player, but guess what?
That's proof that theboundaries are working when
people are used to you being ayes man and suddenly you stop.
They feel it.
Let them, let them feel it.
(15:00):
Your job isn't to keep everyonehappy.
Your job is to keep yourselfhealthy, focused and respected.
Now, how do boundaries?
Let me go back for a second.
If you're now, if you're in astartup company, like I'm, in a
newer company, there are thingsthat you've got to do in that
(15:20):
situation where boundariesreally don't matter, because
you're trying to.
You're trying to build this,we're trying to build this
company quickly, and it takes alot of hats to do that and it
takes, you know, one personwearing several hats to make
these things happen.
(15:40):
So if you're in a situation likethat, then you know you got to
have boundaries, but at the sametime, you also got to
understand what you signed upfor.
And if you know, if you're in awell-established organization
that's been around for 15 years,well that's a different story
when people are just running allover you asking you to do
(16:02):
things that you shouldn't bedoing.
But when you're in the earlierstages of a company, you got to
be willing.
You got to be willing to dowhatever it takes to make it
work, because running a businessis hard and there's a lot of
moving parts and, at the end ofthe day, if that's not you, the
boundary is you shouldn't takethat job.
(16:23):
It's that simple.
That job, it's that simple.
So boundaries help you buildconfidence.
They and you get more energyfrom that.
Do you want more energy at work?
Do you want to feel morefocused?
You want to stop resenting yourcustomers, your team, your
family, because you're not goingto be able to do that If you
(16:43):
start resenting your customers,they're going to feel that
resentment.
They're going to feel like youdon't want to be there, and no
company wants to have anemployee that's resentful.
It's just, that's all there isto it.
Set clear boundaries, right.
Don't let yourself get intothat situation.
(17:05):
Right, don't let yourself getinto that situation.
When you start, when you stop,you know when you, when you stop
leaking out your energy throughguilt, overcommitment, people
pleasing, you finally show up asyour best self on and off the
job.
Boundaries are not, they're notjust defense, they're the
(17:26):
offense of your life.
You're protecting yourself bysetting boundaries, and you know
.
Let's just talk about thepeople pleasing thing.
I've been a people pleaser allmy life and it's draining
because you always feel likeyou're being taken advantage of,
but you are the one lettingpeople take advantage of you
because you're being takenadvantage of, but you are the
(17:47):
one letting people takeadvantage of you because you're
overcommitting.
You're people pleasing.
You just want to do the nextthing that makes the boss happy.
At the end of the day, you'regoing to wind up being miserable
if you don't watch that.
Don't take on stuff that youdon't know how to do.
Don't commit to doing somethingthat you're not going to have
(18:08):
time to do, because it's goingto backfire on you.
So I want you to think aboutthis week.
I'm going to give you a quickchallenge.
I want you to pick out one areain your life where you're
saying yes, but you really wantto say no, and maybe that's yeah
, honey, I'll be home by six,knowing you're not going to make
(18:32):
it home by six.
And instead of saying I'm notgoing to make it home by six,
you say, oh, yeah, I'll be thereby six.
Well, now you've broken trustwith your wife or your
girlfriend, whoever it is thatyou're saying that to.
You know, write that stuff down.
Write it down and then reallyassess how you can change by
(18:53):
clearly and calmly communicatingthe things that you would
really rather say no to and thenback it up with action and
watch what changes.
Listen, this will change yourenergy.
Like I said before, it'llchange your confidence.
It'll change how you show upwith your customers.
(19:14):
It'll change how you show upwith your wife or your fiance or
your girlfriend or whateveryou're whoever it is you're with
.
Because listen, dude, like yourjob is important.
If you're in the trades, peoplecan't do the things that you do
(19:37):
every day.
So it drives me nuts when Ihear people say well, I'm just a
plumber or I'm just an h-factechnician, or I'm just an HVAC
technician or I'm just anelectrician Bullshit.
You're doing jobs that mostpeople don't know how to do.
You're doing jobs that mostpeople don't want to do.
Most people don't want to digthrough feces to fix a problem,
(20:02):
but if you're a plumber, you arethe guy that does that.
Don't discount the fact thatyou do the work that most people
don't want to do.
So appreciate you listening tothe Successful Life Podcast.
I hope this episode has helpedyou see boundaries a bit
(20:23):
different.
I'd ask you share this withyour team.
Share it with your family.
Boundary's a bit different.
I'd ask you share this withyour team, share it with your
family, share it with youremployees, if you're an owner,
(20:43):
because you know this is goingto help you lead with clarity,
confidence, calm boundaries andeverybody wins.
So I know, if you're listeningto this show, you want to get
better, you want to be moresuccessful, you want to be
happier and this, my friend,will help you get there.
So until next week I appreciateyou listening Do me a favor Go
to Apple Podcasts, scroll downto about the middle.
(21:03):
You'll see where it says Rateand Review.
Hit the five stars, leave awritten review for me, because
it helps us get this out to morepeople.
You know I don't get paid to dothis.
I do this because I reallyenjoy it and I hope that it
helps people and I know there'sa few that it does and if you're
(21:27):
one of those few and youhaven't left a review, I'd
appreciate it if you would.
All right, guys, we'll see younext week.
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