April 18, 2025 • 25 mins
The fear of making a decision runs deep in our psychology—whether you're contemplating a $20,000 HVAC system or taking your first step toward sobriety. As someone who's walked both paths, I've discovered that sales objections and recovery hesitations share remarkable similarities.
When customers say "I need to think about it" or "I should check with my spouse first," they're often masking deeper fears. Just like someone struggling with addiction who wonders "Where will the fun go if I get sober?" or "What if I can't stick with it?" The underlying message is the same: change is terrifying. Most fascinatingly, refusing to make a decision is itself a decision—specifically, a choice to stay exactly where you are.
The key insight I've gained from both worlds is that pushing people never works. Whether you're selling HVAC systems or supporting someone's recovery journey, authenticity and honest communication create trust, while pressure tactics destroy it. People have an uncanny ability to sense when you're being incongruent or manipulative. That's why taking a genuine interest in their concerns, practicing active listening, and offering solutions rather than sales pitches creates better outcomes for everyone involved.
Your success, whether in business or in supporting others through life transitions, depends on understanding that people make decisions for their reasons, not yours. By validating concerns without judgment, asking thoughtful questions, and creating space for autonomous decision-making, you help others navigate change in a way that respects their journey. This approach not only leads to better business outcomes but also more meaningful human connections.
Have you noticed this pattern in your own life? How might approaching difficult conversations with more curiosity and less pressure change your relationships—both professional and personal? I'd love to hear your experiences.
https://coreyberrier.gumroad.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Corey Berrier (00:01):
Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
I'm your host, corey Berrier,and today, folks, we've got a
slight mixture of what we'regoing to be talking about today.
So first, welcome back.
I'm glad you're here, gladyou're joining us this week.
So we're going to talk aboutsomething.
(00:22):
We're going to talk a littlebit about sales conversations
and we're connected withsomething a little deeper
recovery, which is something Ireally enjoy talking about, and
because objections in sales,they're not that much different
from the ones that we face inlife.
(00:43):
So here's how we're going totie it together, or that's how
we're going to tie it together.
Rather, let's start with thesales side.
We deal with a lot of customerobjections.
We deal with people saying Idon't want to make a rush
decision, I don't want to make adecision today, I need to talk
(01:05):
to my spouse, I need to checkwith my husband, my wife, I need
to think about it, I need tosleep on it.
All these things are verysimilar to the decisions in life
, right, we're scared to make adecision, and so we put up a
(01:28):
smoke screen, if you will, andbasically these objections show
up in our sales, in our saleslife, just like they show up as
uncertainty when we're talkingabout, like we'll face facing,
when we're talking about theroad to recovery Right, if
(01:49):
you've ever been, if you've everbeen in, had an addiction or
have been had to overcome anaddiction, the fear of making a
decision to stop that thing isterrifying.
But it's also terrifying tothink that you've got to live
(02:09):
with this addiction day in andday out.
And so much like making adecision to as a customer, much
like making a decision to buysomething as large as what we
sell $15,000 or $20,000,.
It's a hard decision to makebecause you think I still got
(02:30):
some time left on this unit.
And if I make the decision now,what if something else happens?
What if something else happensand I need that money for
something else?
It's much like in recovery,where you know what happens when
I take this drug or thisalcohol out of my life.
(02:53):
Where does the fear, where doesthe fun go?
Where does my good times go?
Now, of course, you're puttingon the shelf the bad times, the
times that you wound up in jailor wound up throwing up on a
sidewalk, or wound up losingyour wallet and everything in it
, or your phone, or whatever thecase may be.
(03:13):
You only think about the goodtimes, whereas it's the opposite
from a customer standpoint,because they're thinking about
the what ifs if the bad timescome in.
And so really they're bothfears of making a bad decision
or making a different decision.
(03:33):
Because, look, most people don'tlike change, most people,
especially in recovery.
I'll speak for myself.
I don't love change.
I'll speak for myself.
I don't love change becausechange means I've got to do
something.
Uncomfortable, I've got to be.
I have to force myself to becomfortable with being
(03:54):
uncomfortable.
Nobody likes beinguncomfortable, unless you've
been, like myself, uncomfortableenough that you realize on the
other side of that uncomfortablefeeling, there's something
(04:17):
better.
And it's uncomfortable making adecision to spend $20,000 on
your HVAC system because of thefear of what that money may be,
that maybe you'll need thatmoney down the road.
And so lots of people hang onto that fear because they just
don't want to make a decision.
(04:38):
And guess what, when you don'tmake a decision, that is a
decision.
Let me repeat that, when youchoose to not make a decision,
that is a decision.
That decision is to stay rightwhere you are, whether it is in
recovery, or whether it's yourcustomer buying or not buying.
(04:59):
It's a decision.
And so the way you can overcomethat in the sales side of
things is I completely respectthat Most people feel the same
way.
Just out of curiosity, is theresomething about the timing
(05:20):
making it feel rushed, or is itabout needing more information
to feel confident in thedecision?
Maybe I can help slow thingsdown and walk you through
anything that's unclear.
Now, what is that?
Response to it validates thefear.
It uses a discovery question touncover the real concern and it
(05:47):
offers clarity without pressure.
So you're not pushing thecustomer, you're guiding them to
unpack why they feel rushed.
Is it a financial concern?
Is it a lack of trust?
Is it a fear of making thewrong choice?
And it's very similar torecovery.
(06:10):
In recovery, whether it's, likeI said, whether it's from
addiction, whether it's fromalcohol, whether it's from drugs
, trauma or just trying torebuild a better life.
The word rushed is can be codefor I'm afraid, I'm afraid to
change, I'm afraid to commit,I'm afraid I'll mess up again.
(06:34):
Does this sound familiar?
Because we use these samethings to make decisions in our
everyday life.
I'll use a great example, right, am I?
I'll use a great example.
Um, it's just like a homeownerstaring at a $20,000 replacement
(06:57):
.
Someone in recovery may hesitateto take the first step, not
because they don't want help,because they don't trust
themselves to stick with it.
And again, most of us don'tfear change itself.
We fear the consequences ofthat change.
(07:21):
So whether it's committing to anew system or walking into that
first recovery meeting, theunderlying question is the same
what if I make the wrong choice?
It's exactly the same thing,right?
This is exactly what someonenewly getting sober is thinking.
(07:42):
It's also someone who isthinking about getting sober is
thinking.
It's also what your customer isthinking about getting sober is
thinking.
It's also what your customer isthinking.
(08:04):
So the way we do this inrecovery if someone comes in and
it's a waste of time to try togo sell that individual like a
customer the fact that they aregoing to have a better life in
recovery.
(08:24):
We don't sell recovery, justlike we don't sell HVAC systems.
We offer solutions in bothsituations.
If I pressure that newcomer intomaking a next meeting or
committing to a sponsor ormaking sure he joins a home
(08:49):
group dude like he's, his brainis completely swollen.
He's scared to death.
He doesn't know if he's in theright place.
He's in a place with a bunch ofstrangers offering phone
numbers, smiling, laughing theyprobably think they're laughing
at him and that's just honestlynot going to be the truth.
(09:10):
And so you've got to understandinstead of pushing for a
decision whether it be inrecovery or whether it be in
sales, sales you want to have anopen mind, you want to have an
(09:34):
open heart.
What do you feel like is missingnow that's keeping you from
deciding in the sales standpoint?
And also, it works with afriend who's struggling with
recovery.
What's keeping you in thiscycle of drinking and drugging?
(09:59):
What is keeping you from movingforward with the decision today
?
Today.
And there's a way that you can,the way.
There's a way you can relate topeople without being salesy or
(10:24):
feeling like you're pushingsomeone into a decision, whether
that be in recovery or whetherthat be in sales.
And so here's the same dynamicof objection.
Right, I'm not sure I'm ready tostop now, or I'm not sure now
(10:49):
is the right season to do thistranslation for recovery.
Maybe I'll start the systemlater.
(11:11):
Get the key there.
Maybe I don't buy, give me ayes or a no, maybe waste my time
, but the real meaning is I'mscared to make a decision.
I'm scared to sign the ticketand pay you $20,000 today.
(11:31):
Now that could be scaredbecause I haven't talked to my
wife.
It could be scared because Idon't know if I have tax
payments coming up.
It could be scared because Ihaven't told my wife I have a
gambling problem.
It could be scared the listcould go on and on about why
they're not ready to make adecision, whether it be to get
(11:52):
sober or to buy that unit.
So you wouldn't pressuresomeone into getting sober.
So why would you pressuresomeone into trying to buy what
you're selling?
It's attraction, not promotion.
If you're trying to push thisitem, or if you're trying to
(12:15):
push whatever you're sellinglet's use HVAC as an example,
since that's what the industryI'm in.
If I'm trying to push you tobuy this certain system, it
feels salesy system.
(12:37):
It feels salesy, even if myintention is to make sure that
your family is safe.
If I push you, you are going toback down.
You're going to feel like I'mputting you in a corner.
And it's exactly the same thingin recovery.
If I try to push you to getsober and you're not ready,
you're going to run the otherway, and the damage of that in
(12:58):
both scenarios is is the outcomeis not going to be good for you
as the salesperson, or theperson trying to get the person
sober, and it's not going to begood for the person trying to
get sober or the customer,because the outcome is going to
be they're not going to make adecision because they feel like
(13:18):
they're being pushed.
I don't know about you, but Idon't like being pushed.
I don't like being pushed tomake a decision.
I don't like to be sold intomaking a decision.
I want to feel like I'm incontrol of making my own
decisions.
Lots of times, rather, I relyon my higher power, god, to help
(13:48):
me make decisions, becausesometimes, if I don't know what
decision to make, that means Ineed to rely on something bigger
than me to help.
And you can't express that.
You can express it the way Ijust explained it to you, to
(14:10):
somebody in recovery and in asales situation.
You've got to explain why thebenefits of them moving forward
today, but not in a way thatmakes them feel like they're
being backed in a corner.
There are certain times whenit's genuinely true.
I'll give you a great example.
We went to a customer's housethis past week and the way his
(14:36):
unit was positioned outside.
We needed a uniquely sizedsystem outside, and so we had to
figure out obviously, wemeasured it, we figured out that
(14:57):
most of the normal systemswouldn't work, but we did find
one in stock.
That was the size that we werelooking for.
Find one in stock, that was thesize that we were looking for.
And so in that scenario, it wasgenuinely true that there was
only one of those left in stock,and that was the truth.
And the truth is we're not theonly people buying from that
(15:20):
distributor.
The chances of that unit beinggone are significantly higher
than selling out of a normalsize unit.
And so in that scenario that'show I explained it Like you have
a unique size and that uniquesize, there's only one left in
(15:41):
stock.
You're more than welcome towait, but I just got to tell you
there literally is one left instock.
You're more than welcome towait, but I just got to tell you
there literally is one left instock, and that was the truth.
And the cost of waiting meansthat one may be sold and we
don't know when the next one'scoming in.
And that's the truth.
We don't know when it's comingin.
And so, if you look at thatscenario, if you're being
(16:07):
genuine and people know youcan't just tell people there's
one more in stock every timebecause that's not true and it's
incongruent with the truth.
And when there's incongruencywith you, people can pick up on
that subconsciously and theyknow that you're not telling the
truth.
And I don't know how to explainthat, other than it's just an
(16:34):
innate part of our human anatomythat we can tell when
something's off.
Have you ever met somebody thatjust feels like they're just a
little off but you can't reallyput your finger on it?
That's that subconscious, thatsubconscious radar, if you will,
going up in your mind sayingsomething's not.
(16:54):
I can't put my finger on it,but something's not right with
this guy, so pay attention.
(17:16):
And so my point here is I thinkthe majority of what today is
about is you got to clarify,without putting pressure on that
individual, whether it's inrecovery or whether it's your
customer.
The way you can do that is justbe genuinely honest, be
(17:37):
genuinely curious about thatindividual.
And be genuinely honest Becausethe truth always wins and you
can't tell me that it doesn't.
Because the truth always winsand you can't tell me that it
doesn't, because that's myexperience and I think that most
people want to be truthful,sometimes the money gets in the
way or the want to pull thisperson into your sobriety life
(18:02):
and help them get sober.
You can't get somebody sober.
You just can't.
It's not your job and you'renot that powerful, just like
you're not that powerful toforce somebody to buy that
system.
Because guess what, when youforce people to do things in the
(18:25):
sales side, you're going to geta cancellation.
You force somebody to dosomething on the recovery side,
they're going to go out and gethired to get drunk tonight, and
I don't want that on myconscience.
Personally, I don't want toknow that I had any part in
someone going back out and beingmiserable, and I don't want any
(18:49):
part in a customer feeling likethey were pushed into a system
that they didn't want.
And really look at your motives, look at what are you trying to
achieve and you may need tocheck that and make sure that
you're not coming across in away that someone could perceive
(19:15):
some of the things I've talkedabout today and so listen this
is like really go back andre-listen to this, because if
you can just do the things thatI'm suggesting here in a genuine
way, whether it be in recovery,whether it be in sales, it goes
(19:38):
a long way.
Be calm when you're talking topeople, whether it be on either
side, whether it be in recoveryor whether it be on the sales
side, because people don't feelthreatened when you're just cool
, calm and collective andactively listen and that goes
(20:01):
for both sides as well.
That really goes for anythingthat you're doing in life.
And what I mean by activelylistening means listening when
someone else is talking, thatyou're actively listening to
what they're saying and notthinking about how you're going
(20:22):
to respond.
Just let them finish.
Your brain's going to processwhat they're saying.
Take a second and then respondno-transcript.
(20:52):
And if you miss what they'resaying, it makes people feel
like you don't give a shit whatthey're saying.
It makes people feel likethey're unheard and that all you
care about is your outcome andnot theirs.
And people they buy for theirreasons, not yours.
(21:12):
People get sober for theirreasons, not yours, yours.
People get sober for theirreasons, not yours.
So I just would say, if, if youjust don't rush people, if you
don't close the deal today,guess what there's going to be
(21:32):
another one tomorrow.
And if you don't convincesomebody, or if you don't have
somebody show up at a nextmeeting.
It's not your fault, but youjust got to know that if you're
doing everything that I've saidhere today in this podcast,
(21:53):
you're going to have a betterchance of success, and I think
that's what we all want.
You're going to have a betterchance of success, and I think
that's what we all want.
We all want to be successful inboth life and in our jobs, in
our businesses.
You can't do that if you don'tfollow some of these things that
I said today really all thethings that I said today.
(22:16):
So really pay attention ifyou're maybe coming across as
this individual, lots of timesego comes into play when we're
talking to somebody that we'retrying to sell a system to,
because we think we know morethan they do.
And guess what?
Sometimes we do not know morethan they do.
A great example is we talked toan electrical engineer
(22:39):
yesterday and that guy hasresearched, done his homework,
understands the systems,probably has questions.
That's going to be hard for usto answer, but unless you ask
good questions and find out howmuch information they know, you
don't know.
And the same thing when you'retalking to somebody in recovery.
It's not about what you want,it's about what they want.
(23:05):
So hopefully you got somethingout of this today.
I thought it was a good time tojust mingle the two together,
because it's two of my favoritethings to talk about.
Appreciate you listening andwe'll see you next week.
Welcome to the Successful Life Podcast.
I'm your host, corey Berrier,and today, folks, we've got a
slight mixture of what we'regoing to be talking about today.
So first, welcome back.
I'm glad you're here, gladyou're joining us this week.
So we're going to talk aboutsomething.
(00:22):
We're going to talk a littlebit about sales conversations
and we're connected withsomething a little deeper
recovery, which is something Ireally enjoy talking about, and
because objections in sales,they're not that much different
from the ones that we face inlife.
(00:43):
So here's how we're going totie it together, or that's how
we're going to tie it together.
Rather, let's start with thesales side.
We deal with a lot of customerobjections.
We deal with people saying Idon't want to make a rush
decision, I don't want to make adecision today, I need to talk
(01:05):
to my spouse, I need to checkwith my husband, my wife, I need
to think about it, I need tosleep on it.
All these things are verysimilar to the decisions in life
, right, we're scared to make adecision, and so we put up a
(01:28):
smoke screen, if you will, andbasically these objections show
up in our sales, in our saleslife, just like they show up as
uncertainty when we're talkingabout, like we'll face facing,
when we're talking about theroad to recovery Right, if
(01:49):
you've ever been, if you've everbeen in, had an addiction or
have been had to overcome anaddiction, the fear of making a
decision to stop that thing isterrifying.
But it's also terrifying tothink that you've got to live
(02:09):
with this addiction day in andday out.
And so much like making adecision to as a customer, much
like making a decision to buysomething as large as what we
sell $15,000 or $20,000,.
It's a hard decision to makebecause you think I still got
(02:30):
some time left on this unit.
And if I make the decision now,what if something else happens?
What if something else happensand I need that money for
something else?
It's much like in recovery,where you know what happens when
I take this drug or thisalcohol out of my life.
(02:53):
Where does the fear, where doesthe fun go?
Where does my good times go?
Now, of course, you're puttingon the shelf the bad times, the
times that you wound up in jailor wound up throwing up on a
sidewalk, or wound up losingyour wallet and everything in it
, or your phone, or whatever thecase may be.
(03:13):
You only think about the goodtimes, whereas it's the opposite
from a customer standpoint,because they're thinking about
the what ifs if the bad timescome in.
And so really they're bothfears of making a bad decision
or making a different decision.
(03:33):
Because, look, most people don'tlike change, most people,
especially in recovery.
I'll speak for myself.
I don't love change.
I'll speak for myself.
I don't love change becausechange means I've got to do
something.
Uncomfortable, I've got to be.
I have to force myself to becomfortable with being
(03:54):
uncomfortable.
Nobody likes beinguncomfortable, unless you've
been, like myself, uncomfortableenough that you realize on the
other side of that uncomfortablefeeling, there's something
(04:17):
better.
And it's uncomfortable making adecision to spend $20,000 on
your HVAC system because of thefear of what that money may be,
that maybe you'll need thatmoney down the road.
And so lots of people hang onto that fear because they just
don't want to make a decision.
(04:38):
And guess what, when you don'tmake a decision, that is a
decision.
Let me repeat that, when youchoose to not make a decision,
that is a decision.
That decision is to stay rightwhere you are, whether it is in
recovery, or whether it's yourcustomer buying or not buying.
(04:59):
It's a decision.
And so the way you can overcomethat in the sales side of
things is I completely respectthat Most people feel the same
way.
Just out of curiosity, is theresomething about the timing
(05:20):
making it feel rushed, or is itabout needing more information
to feel confident in thedecision?
Maybe I can help slow thingsdown and walk you through
anything that's unclear.
Now, what is that?
Response to it validates thefear.
It uses a discovery question touncover the real concern and it
(05:47):
offers clarity without pressure.
So you're not pushing thecustomer, you're guiding them to
unpack why they feel rushed.
Is it a financial concern?
Is it a lack of trust?
Is it a fear of making thewrong choice?
And it's very similar torecovery.
(06:10):
In recovery, whether it's, likeI said, whether it's from
addiction, whether it's fromalcohol, whether it's from drugs
, trauma or just trying torebuild a better life.
The word rushed is can be codefor I'm afraid, I'm afraid to
change, I'm afraid to commit,I'm afraid I'll mess up again.
(06:34):
Does this sound familiar?
Because we use these samethings to make decisions in our
everyday life.
I'll use a great example, right, am I?
I'll use a great example.
Um, it's just like a homeownerstaring at a $20,000 replacement
(06:57):
.
Someone in recovery may hesitateto take the first step, not
because they don't want help,because they don't trust
themselves to stick with it.
And again, most of us don'tfear change itself.
We fear the consequences ofthat change.
(07:21):
So whether it's committing to anew system or walking into that
first recovery meeting, theunderlying question is the same
what if I make the wrong choice?
It's exactly the same thing,right?
This is exactly what someonenewly getting sober is thinking.
(07:42):
It's also someone who isthinking about getting sober is
thinking.
It's also what your customer isthinking about getting sober is
thinking.
It's also what your customer isthinking.
(08:04):
So the way we do this inrecovery if someone comes in and
it's a waste of time to try togo sell that individual like a
customer the fact that they aregoing to have a better life in
recovery.
(08:24):
We don't sell recovery, justlike we don't sell HVAC systems.
We offer solutions in bothsituations.
If I pressure that newcomer intomaking a next meeting or
committing to a sponsor ormaking sure he joins a home
(08:49):
group dude like he's, his brainis completely swollen.
He's scared to death.
He doesn't know if he's in theright place.
He's in a place with a bunch ofstrangers offering phone
numbers, smiling, laughing theyprobably think they're laughing
at him and that's just honestlynot going to be the truth.
(09:10):
And so you've got to understandinstead of pushing for a
decision whether it be inrecovery or whether it be in
sales, sales you want to have anopen mind, you want to have an
(09:34):
open heart.
What do you feel like is missingnow that's keeping you from
deciding in the sales standpoint?
And also, it works with afriend who's struggling with
recovery.
What's keeping you in thiscycle of drinking and drugging?
(09:59):
What is keeping you from movingforward with the decision today
?
Today.
And there's a way that you can,the way.
There's a way you can relate topeople without being salesy or
(10:24):
feeling like you're pushingsomeone into a decision, whether
that be in recovery or whetherthat be in sales.
And so here's the same dynamicof objection.
Right, I'm not sure I'm ready tostop now, or I'm not sure now
(10:49):
is the right season to do thistranslation for recovery.
Maybe I'll start the systemlater.
(11:11):
Get the key there.
Maybe I don't buy, give me ayes or a no, maybe waste my time
, but the real meaning is I'mscared to make a decision.
I'm scared to sign the ticketand pay you $20,000 today.
(11:31):
Now that could be scaredbecause I haven't talked to my
wife.
It could be scared because Idon't know if I have tax
payments coming up.
It could be scared because Ihaven't told my wife I have a
gambling problem.
It could be scared the listcould go on and on about why
they're not ready to make adecision, whether it be to get
(11:52):
sober or to buy that unit.
So you wouldn't pressuresomeone into getting sober.
So why would you pressuresomeone into trying to buy what
you're selling?
It's attraction, not promotion.
If you're trying to push thisitem, or if you're trying to
(12:15):
push whatever you're sellinglet's use HVAC as an example,
since that's what the industryI'm in.
If I'm trying to push you tobuy this certain system, it
feels salesy system.
(12:37):
It feels salesy, even if myintention is to make sure that
your family is safe.
If I push you, you are going toback down.
You're going to feel like I'mputting you in a corner.
And it's exactly the same thingin recovery.
If I try to push you to getsober and you're not ready,
you're going to run the otherway, and the damage of that in
(12:58):
both scenarios is is the outcomeis not going to be good for you
as the salesperson, or theperson trying to get the person
sober, and it's not going to begood for the person trying to
get sober or the customer,because the outcome is going to
be they're not going to make adecision because they feel like
(13:18):
they're being pushed.
I don't know about you, but Idon't like being pushed.
I don't like being pushed tomake a decision.
I don't like to be sold intomaking a decision.
I want to feel like I'm incontrol of making my own
decisions.
Lots of times, rather, I relyon my higher power, god, to help
(13:48):
me make decisions, becausesometimes, if I don't know what
decision to make, that means Ineed to rely on something bigger
than me to help.
And you can't express that.
You can express it the way Ijust explained it to you, to
(14:10):
somebody in recovery and in asales situation.
You've got to explain why thebenefits of them moving forward
today, but not in a way thatmakes them feel like they're
being backed in a corner.
There are certain times whenit's genuinely true.
I'll give you a great example.
We went to a customer's housethis past week and the way his
(14:36):
unit was positioned outside.
We needed a uniquely sizedsystem outside, and so we had to
figure out obviously, wemeasured it, we figured out that
(14:57):
most of the normal systemswouldn't work, but we did find
one in stock.
That was the size that we werelooking for.
Find one in stock, that was thesize that we were looking for.
And so in that scenario, it wasgenuinely true that there was
only one of those left in stock,and that was the truth.
And the truth is we're not theonly people buying from that
(15:20):
distributor.
The chances of that unit beinggone are significantly higher
than selling out of a normalsize unit.
And so in that scenario that'show I explained it Like you have
a unique size and that uniquesize, there's only one left in
(15:41):
stock.
You're more than welcome towait, but I just got to tell you
there literally is one left instock.
You're more than welcome towait, but I just got to tell you
there literally is one left instock, and that was the truth.
And the cost of waiting meansthat one may be sold and we
don't know when the next one'scoming in.
And that's the truth.
We don't know when it's comingin.
And so, if you look at thatscenario, if you're being
(16:07):
genuine and people know youcan't just tell people there's
one more in stock every timebecause that's not true and it's
incongruent with the truth.
And when there's incongruencywith you, people can pick up on
that subconsciously and theyknow that you're not telling the
truth.
And I don't know how to explainthat, other than it's just an
(16:34):
innate part of our human anatomythat we can tell when
something's off.
Have you ever met somebody thatjust feels like they're just a
little off but you can't reallyput your finger on it?
That's that subconscious, thatsubconscious radar, if you will,
going up in your mind sayingsomething's not.
(16:54):
I can't put my finger on it,but something's not right with
this guy, so pay attention.
(17:16):
And so my point here is I thinkthe majority of what today is
about is you got to clarify,without putting pressure on that
individual, whether it's inrecovery or whether it's your
customer.
The way you can do that is justbe genuinely honest, be
(17:37):
genuinely curious about thatindividual.
And be genuinely honest Becausethe truth always wins and you
can't tell me that it doesn't.
Because the truth always winsand you can't tell me that it
doesn't, because that's myexperience and I think that most
people want to be truthful,sometimes the money gets in the
way or the want to pull thisperson into your sobriety life
(18:02):
and help them get sober.
You can't get somebody sober.
You just can't.
It's not your job and you'renot that powerful, just like
you're not that powerful toforce somebody to buy that
system.
Because guess what, when youforce people to do things in the
(18:25):
sales side, you're going to geta cancellation.
You force somebody to dosomething on the recovery side,
they're going to go out and gethired to get drunk tonight, and
I don't want that on myconscience.
Personally, I don't want toknow that I had any part in
someone going back out and beingmiserable, and I don't want any
(18:49):
part in a customer feeling likethey were pushed into a system
that they didn't want.
And really look at your motives, look at what are you trying to
achieve and you may need tocheck that and make sure that
you're not coming across in away that someone could perceive
(19:15):
some of the things I've talkedabout today and so listen this
is like really go back andre-listen to this, because if
you can just do the things thatI'm suggesting here in a genuine
way, whether it be in recovery,whether it be in sales, it goes
(19:38):
a long way.
Be calm when you're talking topeople, whether it be on either
side, whether it be in recoveryor whether it be on the sales
side, because people don't feelthreatened when you're just cool
, calm and collective andactively listen and that goes
(20:01):
for both sides as well.
That really goes for anythingthat you're doing in life.
And what I mean by activelylistening means listening when
someone else is talking, thatyou're actively listening to
what they're saying and notthinking about how you're going
(20:22):
to respond.
Just let them finish.
Your brain's going to processwhat they're saying.
Take a second and then respondno-transcript.
(20:52):
And if you miss what they'resaying, it makes people feel
like you don't give a shit whatthey're saying.
It makes people feel likethey're unheard and that all you
care about is your outcome andnot theirs.
And people they buy for theirreasons, not yours.
(21:12):
People get sober for theirreasons, not yours, yours.
People get sober for theirreasons, not yours.
So I just would say, if, if youjust don't rush people, if you
don't close the deal today,guess what there's going to be
(21:32):
another one tomorrow.
And if you don't convincesomebody, or if you don't have
somebody show up at a nextmeeting.
It's not your fault, but youjust got to know that if you're
doing everything that I've saidhere today in this podcast,
(21:53):
you're going to have a betterchance of success, and I think
that's what we all want.
You're going to have a betterchance of success, and I think
that's what we all want.
We all want to be successful inboth life and in our jobs, in
our businesses.
You can't do that if you don'tfollow some of these things that
I said today really all thethings that I said today.
(22:16):
So really pay attention ifyou're maybe coming across as
this individual, lots of timesego comes into play when we're
talking to somebody that we'retrying to sell a system to,
because we think we know morethan they do.
And guess what?
Sometimes we do not know morethan they do.
A great example is we talked toan electrical engineer
(22:39):
yesterday and that guy hasresearched, done his homework,
understands the systems,probably has questions.
That's going to be hard for usto answer, but unless you ask
good questions and find out howmuch information they know, you
don't know.
And the same thing when you'retalking to somebody in recovery.
It's not about what you want,it's about what they want.
(23:05):
So hopefully you got somethingout of this today.
I thought it was a good time tojust mingle the two together,
because it's two of my favoritethings to talk about.
Appreciate you listening andwe'll see you next week.
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