All Episodes

December 27, 2024 • 10 mins
In an effort to prove that Jeff DOES, in fact, cut stuff out, here's some of the stuff he cut from our Office Holiday Party episode:
  • Jeff tries to coordinate 6 Zoom streams with visual cues
  • Jennifer get entrepreneurial
  • Erin gets slapped with a dry tongue
Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Well, I may not be Hr, but I do not
approve of all this weed and drinking, and I think
that we're just gonna have to rain things in.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
The one non Christian or are you going to ruin
our Christmas party?

Speaker 1 (00:17):
I'm not going to ruin anything, but we need some
organization in here. So instead of just a party, we're
going to do this as a podcast.

Speaker 3 (00:24):
Okay, that's the difference.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
You know what, Jennifer, I love that spirit that's gonna
go on your performance review this year.

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Sweet.

Speaker 2 (00:34):
It's good because I hear she needs all the helps
you can get.

Speaker 1 (00:38):
All right, Well, oh, I should probably cut that out.
All right, Damn, you don't.

Speaker 4 (00:46):
Cut anything out.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
Thank you.

Speaker 4 (00:50):
I mean you probably should cut out whatever's making your
ship on the freeway that Jeff.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
You should definitely cut that out of your diet.

Speaker 4 (01:00):
Or you could just cut the ass out of all
your pants and save time.

Speaker 1 (01:04):
All right, funck all of you. I'm starting the podcast. Okay, Now,
I would like I would like to do like a
three to two one. Maybe you can all say a
podcast after I do the intro, try it once? Yeah,
wouldn't that be fun?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Sure?

Speaker 1 (01:23):
Turn up those VPNs? Yeah, what's dust off? Sorry, turn
up those VPNs, put on your timfoil hats, and who
needs Rudolph to guide your way? When the algorithm can
show us everything we'll ever need. It's time for suggested
articles podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:46):
That's what happens when you start eating the pizza before
the party starts.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
Let's try it. We'll do it one, two, three, go
all right past.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Notice how he counted in quiet, so he didn't have
to cut that out either.

Speaker 1 (02:08):
One more time and I'll take the best time. Ben.
You're doing it too, right, don't be all silent on him?

Speaker 4 (02:15):
Good?

Speaker 1 (02:16):
Okay?

Speaker 4 (02:20):
Podcast? Why was no one ready?

Speaker 1 (02:26):
Maybe just one? Two?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
And on three we start saying a podcasts all right?

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Two three, one two three?

Speaker 2 (02:40):
Why did you say it out loud that time?

Speaker 1 (02:42):
He told me to no?

Speaker 2 (02:44):
One two? And on the third one when you hit
four with like on the beat, we all stay a
podcast instead of you saying three like in Wayne's world.
You know five four.

Speaker 1 (02:57):
Okay, Yeah, I'll do that. Five four.

Speaker 4 (03:04):
A podcast.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
You're just gonna move up, smooth them together.

Speaker 4 (03:13):
Well, what I really want to just say that for
those of you at home having this party with us,
I just want to say you're so lucky you work
remote and listen to the show because Jeff is counting,
and then when it's time for us to point us
to say it, his hand is dipping below out of
camera range, so's somewhere around the middle of the number one.

(03:35):
His hand disappears, and we have no idea what he's
pointing at us. So it's just all of us looking
at each other like Darren Headlight's going podcast. I think
it's gonna sound like we've all been like held hostage
and that you're beating us until we say it somewhat

(03:55):
close together, because there's some fear in my voice on
the last eight.

Speaker 1 (03:58):
For sure, you.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Are afraid you're gonna have to do it five more times. Yeah,
I cant believe we sat here for forty five minutes
to get that right. I'm sorry, Jeff, You're gonna have
to turn this out.

Speaker 4 (04:15):
I I can go pee, okay, because everybody wait.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
Wait, wait, Ben, are you okay on time?

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Are we?

Speaker 4 (04:26):
I don't want to No?

Speaker 1 (04:27):
Yeah, okay, okay, all right, coolol We're gonna get very
more involved some ship.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Running to the bathroom, Mary, and do not become a
senseless statistic.

Speaker 4 (04:37):
Okay, all right, maybe I'll bring Abby back with me
because she's wearing her Happy Dolly Day's shirt.

Speaker 1 (04:45):
How was your Danish year?

Speaker 3 (04:47):
I ate it? That's what I was doing when the
dog was on screen. I was eating my Danish.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
Did you get some cinnamon roal?

Speaker 3 (04:52):
No, that sounds like too much? Would you buy six.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Five figure that the kids could split them? Texted them?
But god forbid anyone's actually awake.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
How much was that twenty five bucks?

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yep? Crazy, exactly what it was, But you know, for
a quality cinemon role, maybe it's worth it. Oh the
cinnamon role. People also want you to know that they're
doing a Oh shit, I forgot what day, But Santa's
coming to the bakery and you can bring your pets
and have them sit on Santa's lap.

Speaker 3 (05:25):
So so Surety's gonna get on Santa's lap. Maybe be
so cute to have to get them groomed.

Speaker 1 (05:33):
I got to figure out what day that was, because
now I forgot already. I think I feel like she
might have said Christmas Eve, but there's just no way.

Speaker 3 (05:40):
But what so happy to shut up?

Speaker 1 (05:47):
Was that dog language?

Speaker 5 (05:49):
Yes, they only understand one syllable, So Shorty might bite Santa.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
And it'll be nice to see you in person at
the bakery. Yeah, he's Santa. Pay attention. I'm this story
is so good.

Speaker 2 (06:09):
I might not remember you when you come and put
your dog in my lap, but it's me, trust me.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
Dang sure, you have a lot on your plate.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
I'm digging the weed pizza idea. I'm going to have
to because you can.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
With cannon butter, right, can butter?

Speaker 3 (06:26):
That's jifer, But I did, yes?

Speaker 1 (06:30):
Or what if you just.

Speaker 2 (06:30):
Did, like garlic bread with the cannon butter.

Speaker 1 (06:33):
You can put it on top.

Speaker 3 (06:35):
Yeah, cheesy garlic bread.

Speaker 2 (06:37):
Oh my god, Carrie, we need to go. We need
to go back to mesquite right now.

Speaker 3 (06:41):
You I could start selling it. I wonder I have
to get a license to sell something like that. You
have to have a distribution license. Do you think probably?

Speaker 1 (06:52):
I don't know, but I asked you got to start
by trying it at home before you get into business
the city.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
I'm going to go to ask the city.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Yes, go ass the city. They're like, rest this lady,
she wants to be a weed dealer. On the way
out the door, she's yep, oh walking out right now?

Speaker 3 (07:09):
Oh how old is your dog?

Speaker 4 (07:14):
He's fifteen? And this is her little Dolly Parton license
Tappy Dolly days.

Speaker 3 (07:22):
Sure, that's so cute, and she has one too, So
her little tongue, Yeah, let's get dry.

Speaker 4 (07:31):
It does sometimes I think she doesn't remember what it
is because I can't make the noise she makes. But
if you could imagine what chewing on a tongue might
sound like.

Speaker 5 (07:44):
I'm like ragging it, like the oil on it, put
some like coconut oil on it.

Speaker 4 (07:49):
Or we have little glasses of longer all over the house.
And she taps me if she's thirsty. So she's fortyget
telling me when she needs some here, do you there's
no water left in that? Did you need some now, mammy,
I'll get it for you. No, okay, when you go

(08:11):
back to Seape's, Oh thank you.

Speaker 3 (08:14):
She tries, she tries to lick you.

Speaker 4 (08:18):
She it's so funny. I used to hate it because
she would try to like lick my nostril, like to
wake me up. And now I just feel like a
dry tongue like basically slap me. And because she doesn't
because the teeth are gone, she doesn't know exactly how
to like move the tongue yet. It's only been a
few months and so She'll start trying to like lick

(08:41):
my nose and she's just like hitting me with a
dry tongue, and then I wake up and goes, no,
I got you. I'm on you stop it nice.

Speaker 1 (08:50):
Okay. As we come back from break, what is we're
we're doing some games? Right?

Speaker 2 (08:55):
We have one game?

Speaker 4 (08:56):
Yes, I do want to just say just game.

Speaker 1 (09:00):
It's a stretch.

Speaker 2 (09:01):
But you know, as always on our podcast, I don't
want to.

Speaker 4 (09:05):
Well, I don't want to get canceled for teasing Jeff
about Honka. I do. I do want to tell you.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
We have to have listeners to get canceled, so we're
gonna be okay. Well, I want to.

Speaker 4 (09:15):
I wanted to say that I did have a good
friend who half of her family was Jewish, and so
we did Christmas and Honkah every year.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
So we did that.

Speaker 3 (09:24):
Make it okay?

Speaker 4 (09:25):
Then we did eight little presents.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
So you have a Jewish friend, so it's okay for
you to make no, no, no, no.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
We would do like a buck.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
I can say that word because I know a Jewish
person once.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
What we would.

Speaker 5 (09:43):
Nana's on the phone to say marry Christmas. Okay, all right,
I guess say merry Christmas.

Speaker 4 (09:51):
I don't know. Do they believe in Jesus? He was
just a man, right, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (09:57):
I don't know how does that work?

Speaker 4 (09:58):
Carrie? Oh, have a Christmas tree? I'm back.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (10:05):
She checked out?

Speaker 3 (10:10):
I was asking if you if you're Nana called to
say Merry Christmas? Was that what that was?

Speaker 5 (10:15):
No?

Speaker 4 (10:15):
It was just effinity being were today?

Speaker 3 (10:18):
So yeah, all right, okay.

Speaker 2 (10:23):
Cora came in here, Carrie crawling on her hands and knees,
and I just hear this voice from coming down below.
Score it down here on the ground, like scared the
ship out of me, scared the absolution at me.
Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know
Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Special Summer Offer: Exclusively on Apple Podcasts, try our Dateline Premium subscription completely free for one month! With Dateline Premium, you get every episode ad-free plus exclusive bonus content.

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.