Tired of Carrying It All? How to Share the Mental Load with Gemma Hartley

Back in 2015, journalist Gemma Hartley wrote an article for Harper’s Bazaar that went viral. The article was about emotional labor & it really hit home for so many people - in fact 2 BILLION people read it. It led to Gemma writing a book on the topic & coming up with some real solutions to this incredibly familiar experience.

Gemma is the author of Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good.

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Find Gemma on Instagram⁠ & via her website.

BOOKS
Fed Up; Navigating & Redefining Emotional Labour For Good.

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TIMESTAMPS

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:55 - The Mother’s Day that led Gemma to write the book

00:03:30 - What is emotional labor?

00:06:35 - Society assumes women are the default parent 

00:08:00 - The mindset of ‘helping out’ 

00:10:40 - What happened when Gemma’s husband became the full time at home parent

00:12:30 - The response to ‘stop being such a control freak’

00:15:00 - Setting shared standards

00:19:00 - Emotional labor for men in the dating period

00:21:12 - Why Gemma no longer asks for ‘help’ at home

00:25:11 - How to explain the problem without it becoming a fight

00:30:18 - Why taking on the emotional labor can make partners’ lives richer

00:33:15 - Having the expectation that this is going to require more than a single conversation

00:36:16 - Taking on the emotional labor of addressing emotional labor (!!)

00:40:30 - It’s okay to leave if someone isn’t meeting you where you are