EP 60: Reclaiming Your Power After Narcissistic Abuse with Allison Dagney

In this episode of That's Where I'm At, Laura and guest Allison K. Dagney share their experiences of healing after covert narcissistic relationships. They explore the challenges of recognizing emotional abuse, navigating divorce, and rebuilding self-worth through therapy, journaling, and supportive communities. Together, they offer hope and practical tools for women on their own healing journeys.

Allison is a best-selling memoirist and emotional abuse recovery coach who helps women rise above toxic cycles and reclaim their strength. After nearly 20 years in a covertly abusive marriage, she transformed her trauma into triumph, later sharing her journey in her books When Tears Leave Scars and Radiate and Rise.

 

Key Topics & Timestamps

Laura’s Divorce & Realization (00:04:08) Laura recounts her divorce, discovering her ex’s infidelity, and the clarity that followed about narcissistic abuse.

Leaving a Narcissist: Planning & Survival (00:12:29) They discuss the importance of secret planning, survival mode, and the challenges of leaving an abusive relationship.

Financial Abuse & Legal Strategies (00:20:56) Alison explains legal strategies like “status quo” to maintain financial stability during divorce.

Finding Peace & Adjusting to Freedom (00:28:06) They discuss the unfamiliar feeling of peace and freedom after leaving an abusive relationship.

Writing & Healing: Books and Podcasts (00:33:10) Laura describes her book’s structure, the non-linear nature of healing, and the importance of sharing personal stories.

Identity Loss & Rediscovery (00:40:23) They explore how abusive relationships cause loss of identity and the process of rediscovering personal interests.

Quality Over Quantity in Relationships (00:58:11) They reflect on the value of having a smaller, higher-quality support network after leaving abuse.

 

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

“I didn’t know the depths of hell that a narcissist can do to you.” - Alison

“I had to choose me. I’d never chosen me, so I had to choose me.' - Laura

“I cried because I was good at something I was never allowed to try, and someone was saying something nice to me.” - Laura

“I totally did not know what self-love was or how to love myself.” - Alison

“You have to take the first step, even if you don’t see the whole staircase.” - Laura

“The key to me is boundaries, but you’re not going to get there without self-love.” - Laura

“I am changing in a very good way, but that causes people to walk themselves right out of my life. I don’t need those kinds of people anymore.” - Alison

“People are out there. Your tribe is out there. Unfortunately, you have to let go of the rest to find them.” - Laura

 

RESOURCES:

• COACH WITH LAURA: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/coachwithlaura
• YOU’RE NOT CRAZY, RECLAIMING YOUR SANITY AND SELF-WORTH AFTER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE ebook: GET IT HERE
• MARRIED TO A "NICE" GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE
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