Ep. 335: Borderlands Breakdown

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What is up bros?

(00:24):
I'm Caleb.
And I'm Jonathan.
And we are a couple of bros on a mission to give you guys the most detailed movie reviews
out there with as little bias as possible.
Welcome to the all bros.
This week on the podcast.
I did not watch shit this week.
So this is a rose only weekly watch kind of week.

(00:50):
So we're excited to see what he he's watched this week.
He's actually watched a lot of shit this week.
Oh, yeah, I've been watching random ass shows and stuff.
So don't have a whole lot to report on there.
But then who we are going to be getting into a breakdown of a movie that certainly came

(01:18):
out this month.
Yep, it sure did.
Yeah.
Yeah, we will be breaking down Borderlands, which if you guys have heard the rumors about
this movie, they're true.
Yeah.
So if you guys want to catch this movie theater is you better hurry because it comes to streaming

(01:41):
August 30th.
And I think that's one of the fastest I've ever seen a movie leave theaters.
Dude, here's something.
I almost messaged you.
I would have if my phone was working.
I almost messaged you to see if you wanted to wait to do it until next week because of

(02:03):
how bad I've heard the movie is.
But I was also like, nah, that's super short notice.
Like, there's no way that we'd be able to watch something else like today.
At least not anything like new.
I mean, honestly, I feel we could have made something work.
Yeah, but yeah.

(02:24):
So anyway, we contributed to this this box office, unfortunately.
So yeah, this is going to be a breakdown.
Yeah, for sure.
Hey, I did it for Eli Roth.
That's why I saw it.

(02:45):
Do you know for Eli Roth?
Eli Roth is on my shit list for a little while.
Fair.
That is completely fair.
Yeah.
So anyway, without further ado, let's say we get on into this week's episode.
Let's do it.
Hell yeah.
Need motivation?
Angry Dad podcast.

(03:06):
Trying to jumpstart your life?
Angry Dad podcast.
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You can find me on all podcast platforms.
All right.
Kicking off this week's episode.
Rose, would you like to tell everyone what you've been watching this week?

(03:29):
I'd love to.
So you guys didn't know Lyca decided to re-release Coraline into theaters in 3D because this
year marks 15 years since this movie came out.
So I don't know about you.
I feel old as hell because of that.
But you know what?

(03:50):
That's okay.
Because this movie is absolutely phenomenal.
I absolutely love this freaking movie.
It's one of my favorite animated films of all time.
And the fact that I finally got to experience it in 3D in a theater was absolutely incredible.
So I actually went and saw this with Sammy, Caleb, and it was her first time seeing this.

(04:12):
She had never seen Coraline.
Oh damn.
Yeah.
She enjoyed it.
She had a good time.
But she made a really funny comment.
I don't know if you remember the opening of this movie.
I've never seen this movie.
Oh my bad.
I thought you had.
No, I've seen Bits and Pieces, but those Bits and Pieces freaked me out enough where I

(04:37):
was like, no, not doing it.
Okay.
Well, anyway, this isn't spoiling anything, but the beginning opens up with like a doll
being sewed together.
And there's one part that you see the needle go through and it's like pointing right at
the camera.

(04:57):
So it's 3D, makes complete sense, looked really good.
But so many people in the audience were just like, oh my God.
And Sammy leans over to me and she's like, oh my God, it's like people haven't seen a
3D movie.
Calm down.
Dude, I'll be honest.
I've never seen a 3D movie.
That's not true.

(05:18):
That's not true.
I was like, what?
I watched Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3D.
So good 3D.
Okay.
Yeah.
How has 3D improved over?

(05:39):
It depends because for the longest time, I feel when they were just advertising movies
being make sure you catch it in real D 3D, the 3D was barely even there.
Just like added to the movie.
I guess like it made it like pop a little more, but you never actually saw like stuff
jumping out of you.
I feel like the late two thousands was a time when you really saw a good amount of good

(06:02):
3D.
Like, dude, there's some movies I regret not seeing in 3D.
Like Ant-Man and Doctor Strange.
Dude.
Yeah.
Doctor Strange, especially.
But frickin I remember when they did like saw 3D, which I never got to see.
I kicked myself for that, but I did get to get to see Jackass 3D and that was so worth
it.

(06:23):
Just having shit just fly at you.
That was great.
So is it I remember very vividly Sharkboy and Lava Girl.
And I remember when I watched that I left with a headache because it was like so fuzzy.
And I also probably had something to do with the blue and red glasses too.

(06:46):
I know we've passed that.
Yeah, thank God.
But is it still fuzzy?
No, I don't think so.
Like even with just like wearing glasses over glasses, I do fine.
Like I don't feel any headaches or migraines after I leave the theater.
Is it pretty clear?
Yes, very much so.

(07:07):
I might have to give it a shot next time.
Yeah, dude.
I'm like a good take it off.
It's not like you when you take your glass, you used to take your glasses off for like
Sharkboy and Lava Girl or like Spy Kids 3D and like everything was just blue and red.
Yeah, that was dude.
That was that hurt my face.
Yeah, like, okay, like if you take them off, and it's like a well, I mean, I think for

(07:28):
Coraline it was like the whole thing because like this actually was remastered in 3D.
Like they wanted to make sure that this actually was a good 3D experience.
So when you take off your glasses, like, yeah, it's gonna kind of look a little fuzzy.
But that's just because, you know, it's a 3D picture.
You're supposed to freaking wear your glasses.
Okay, that's what I would expect.
Like I wanted to be clear when I put the freaking glasses on.

(07:54):
Oh, yeah, that's yeah, it's great.
Okay, cool.
Because like I noticed even with Sharkboy and Lava Girl, like it was still like fuzzy.
I remember that as well.
But freaking dude, that was like cool as hell getting those in the theaters.
Like they asked you, oh, do you want Sharkboy or Lava Girl?
Like the shit, dude, I wish I still had those.

(08:14):
Dude, same here.
Yeah, I wish I have my still have my Sharkboy pair.
Because freaking I remember like the ones that you got when you bought the DVD were
like good, but they were like super flimsy.
If you got them in the theater, I remember like those those things were like built a
lot better.
Like they I feel like they were more so built to last.
Like I think they were still like, you know, like the classic like paper 3D glasses, but

(08:39):
it felt like they could like they're not going to fold with you just like barely moving them
in your hands.
Yeah, dude.
They sold special made like glasses, didn't they?
I think they did.
Like outside of theaters, like I feel like Sharkboy and Lava Girl being in 3D was such

(09:00):
a big event.
I feel like I feel like I remember the dollar store because we always used to hit up the
dollar store.
I feel like I remember the dollar store selling Sharkboy and Lava Girl 3D glasses.
Like that was like when you go to see the movie.
I think I do remember seeing some stores do that.

(09:21):
Like yeah, yeah, they would advertise.
Oh, hey, you know, instead of getting them at the theater, just get your 3D glasses here.
Yeah, I remember that being a big freaking event.
I remember the Sharkboy and Lava Girl toys too at McDonald's.
Yeah, those are the shit.
I had that shark boy for years.
Dude, same.

(09:42):
I never got Lava Girl, though.
I was so disappointed about that.
I don't think I did either.
Yeah, but dude, that was I I'm trying to think of like if I remember anything past that,
but I think that was like the last time I was like super pumped for a McDonald's toy.
You know what?

(10:04):
That's fair.
Yeah, but I think the only thing after that was like Sonic the Hedgehog had like a little
like crappy video game thing.
And I remember, I remember I got pulled out of school because I was going to go get my
eyes checked.
And while on my way back to school, my mom stopped at McDonald's or stopped and got us

(10:27):
McDonald's and my eyes were dilated.
Oh, shit.
And I wanted to play that damn Sonic game so bad.
I was holding it like that close to my face, like trying to like focus on it.
And I'm like, I don't understand what's happening right now.
But it was a good time, though.

(10:50):
It was a real good time.
Oh, that's amazing.
I think the last one that I remember specifically because like like my grandma was amazing when
it came to Happy Meal Toys.
Like if I wanted to get like a certain collection, like complete all of them, she would drive
me to multiple McDonald's just to make sure that I could complete the collection.

(11:14):
I loved her so much for that.
That is the shit.
Right.
So she did that with the cars.
Happy Meal Toys.
So that is I don't have them anymore.
I lost them all.
But I can say I owned all of those.
Oh, man.
That is so cool.
Right.

(11:34):
My dad would have freaking punched me in the throat if he even thought of bringing that
up.
See, dude, that's something I wish.
That I would have worked at McDonald's during the period of time where like the cool toys
were coming out because I feel like every once in a while, just for like shits and giggles,
I would have thrown like all of them into one Happy Meal.

(11:57):
Just like just coolest employee ever.
Yeah.
Just like at a just random drive through like throughout the day.
Like it had to be one where they couldn't react in store.
Like I'd freaking toss it in there and then just like know in my heart that some kid is
losing his ever loving mind.

(12:18):
Like that's the kind of shit that I would pull if I had that.
That would be awesome.
Dude, speaking of McDonald's, have you seen the whole thing with like these like collector's
cups and everything?
Like people losing their minds over the collector's cups?
Oh, like the little glass ones?

(12:38):
Well they're not.
They're plastic.
They're not glass.
Oh, are they?
Okay.
Yeah.
But like have you have any videos come across your TikTok about them?
No.
So, yeah.
So apparently like if you like buy if you buy the collector's meal, I think most McDonald's
are sold out now.
But if you bought the collector's meal either at breakfast or lunch or dinner, you got a
collector's cup came in a bag so you couldn't even tell what it was.

(13:03):
And most McDonald's wouldn't even like pull from a different box.
They would just keep pulling from the same bag or the same box.
And so if you went there like like another time in the same day, you were likely just
to get the same damn cup.
Dude, that's so dumb.
I would have had so much fun with those toys or just anything where I had to be the one

(13:24):
to put it in there.
Because freaking like I saw a lot of people because like even though like the bet there
they were they were oh my god sealed in a bag and you know that the employees couldn't
open them.
I guess there was a code on the back.
And so so many people would go to the drive throughs and be like, hey, can you see if
you have this code?

(13:45):
Like, can you open this box?
And they'd be like, yep, no, can't do that.
Whatever box we have open.
That's what you get.
Dude, at least make your job fun.
I mean, good hell.
How difficult is it to make your job enjoyable?
Yeah.
Look, if you have the Barbie Hot Wheels one, let me get the Barbie Hot Wheels one.

(14:08):
Come on.
Oh, man, dude, I would have had so much fun working at McDonald's.
Like during that time, the toys now are freaking trash.
True, dude.
Like today.
So we went to McDonald's today and we let Iris go and like play in the play place and

(14:28):
everything, which the play places have gone to taking a dive.
They're so freaking boring now.
That's unfortunate.
Like it's it's still fun for Iris, I guess, because it's like a playground.
But like by my standard of what the play places used to be, like it's freaking boring as shit.
But no, the freaking toy, if you even want to call it that, was a freaking it was a poster

(14:57):
of all these athletes.
I don't even think they were like Olympic athletes.
Like it was just random athletes.
And then you get what they call your trading cards.
But it's a freaking peel and stick sticker.
So you peel it off and you just stick it where the name goes.
Like you match up the names.

(15:17):
I'm like, dude, this is so dumb.
That's not a Happy Meal toy.
No, it's not.
And like, I shouldn't have to do homework for my toy.
I know.
And like, I don't know what the hell freaking McDonald's has been thinking with their their
bullshit toys, but they're so lazy.

(15:38):
Like, I remember the freaking Teen Titans go to the movies one like it was I should
not it was like a tiny little box about like maybe like a two by two square.

(15:58):
You open it up and it unfolds like it's a piece of paper and it unfolds to be this giant
ass poster of Cyborg or at least the one that Iris got was Cyborg.
It was like a big ass freaking poster and it was just Cyborg on this big ass freaking
poster, dude.

(16:20):
Nothing else but Cyborg.
And then Teen Titans go to the movies at the bottom.
I'm like, this is freaking lazy.
Like you couldn't even bother to print some of the other heroes, like some of the other
Titans on here, like throw them in the background so you don't have so much goddamn empty space.
All that I could assume is they didn't know because I think it's like gotten reinstated,

(16:43):
but not as like big as it used to be, but I feel that they went downhill when they ended
their contract with Disney.
And so they weren't able to do like any big Happy Meal promotions with them anymore.
But I think what they were thinking with Teen Titans go to the movies.
Okay, let's just take the character posters for all these all these guys, blow them up

(17:05):
super big and we'll just make like six or I mean, how many Teen Titans are there?
I forget.
I think I said five.
So they just made those into the five toys.
That's so dumb, dude.
I got nothing against character posters like character posters.
I don't either.
But for a children's toy, that's that's so lazy.

(17:26):
That's so stupid.
Yeah.
Like I don't even think she got crayons in that in her box.
The shit that's I'm like, dude, like so I have to supply my own coloring material.
Yeah, apparently.
I mean, hey, she could always like draw with ketchup or something like that.
She might as well.

(17:47):
She is that messy.
But I felt cheated for her.
I'm like, you won't understand just how amazing McDonald's Happy Meal toys used to be and
how bummed out I was when I grew out of them.
Yeah.
It's all it's like with kids these days, they'll never understand the hype that you got when

(18:14):
you knew a big movie was coming out and you got to look forward to the video game that
was tied to it.
Yeah.
Even though the game usually sucked.
But frickin once THQ went out of business, once they closed down, that that era just
ended.
Oh, man.
Dude, you know what I want?

(18:37):
Frickin remastered.
Oh, shit.
What's it called?
I need to get the name.
Okay.
Disney's extreme skate adventures.
Okay.
Yeah, I'm down.
That needs remastered immediately.
If not sooner.
Yeah, I was the shit.

(18:57):
Yeah, that game was a frickin blast on PS2.
Oh, I had on the Game Boy Advance.
Oh, you did?
Okay.
Yeah, it was so much fun, dude.
It was so much frickin fun.
I never got to play it on the PS2.
Was it as a frickin amazing?
It was awesome.
Oh, my gosh.
That that was the shit, dude.

(19:19):
Man, who is your your go to always Woody?
Woody.
Yeah, that's like your nice.
Do you like the Tarzan one because I really like the Tarzan one too.
Yeah.
Yeah, I remember having a fun time with that one.
The line I hated the Lion King one though.
Yeah, that one wasn't great.

(19:42):
You know what wasn't a great skateboarding game?
The Simpsons skateboarding.
The controls on that one sucked.
Yeah, I remember playing that at a buddy's house.
That was it was rough, dude.
Right?
Yeah.
It was also rough.
I can imagine how smooth it must have felt to skate on a PS2 trying to do any sort of

(20:06):
skating on a frickin Game Boy Advance.
Oh, man.
Oh, God.
Yeah, I couldn't imagine like playing a Tony Hawk game on a frickin Game Boy.
Oh, my gosh, dude.
It's frickin it's ridiculous is what it is.

(20:26):
It was Yeah, it was rough.
It was super rough.
But yeah, they did bring games like that back.
I would love just like little cheap ones too.
Like just shoot us like a $15 $20 like mini game.
Like it doesn't even have to be long.
Like make it like a frickin like tiny DLC or something.

(20:47):
Yeah, like I paid 20 bucks for like something that I could beat in an hour or two.
Yeah, like obviously, depending on like the movie, though.
Fair.
All right.
One more question with the movie based games.
Did you play the first Transformers movie game?
Yes, that is one that I did get to play when my uncle gave my brother his PS2.

(21:10):
Yeah.
Did you?
Autopods or Decepticons Decepticons all day long, dude.
Dude Starscream for days, dude.
Frickin it was blackout for me.
I loved blackout in that game so bad.
Bear kid was also badass too.
God, I love that game.
That game is so good.
It's freaking the final battle in New York when you just frickin you're fighting the

(21:33):
Autobots and just like frickin comparing the size of Ironhide compared to blackout.
It's insane how much Decepticons just towered over the Autobots.
Dude, I'm looking it up right now.
I'm looking at the first two video games that are based off of movies because there were

(21:55):
some like random ass ones like the frickin CD, like the CD roms.
Oh yeah, I remember those.
I remember the one for oh, 101 Dalmatians.
Oh yeah, I remember those too.
Yeah, that's not separated by year.
This one's just A through B. Yeah, they had like one for Batman.

(22:19):
The B movie.
That one was actually a pretty decent game.
That one was.
I had a good time with the movie.
Let's see any others.
Bolt.
I don't remember bolt being very good.
I never played that one.
Oh dude, TMNT.
Please tell me you play that one.
Yeah, I love that dude.
Frickin I faked being sick one day just so I could stay home and beat that last battle

(22:45):
with the frickin statue sold statue.
Is that the one that you couldn't jump?
No I think you could jump.
Could you?
Yeah yeah, you could jump.
Okay.
But frickin that final battle I just could not pass.
So yeah, I faked being sick one day just so I could finally pass it and I did.
But I'm not gonna lie, my controller almost went through the TV multiple times.

(23:06):
Oh my gosh.
Dude, the frickin cat in the hat.
Oh yeah, dude, I've watched like playthroughs of that recently.
That actually was one of the games that came with my PS2 when I first got it.
And like frickin I don't think I can make it past the first level from what I'm remembering.
I sucked at that game.

(23:28):
Shit.
Not a great game.
Dude, tie back.
Did you know Coraline had one?
No.
What?
Yeah, that Coraline the video game.
It was released on the PS2, the Wii, and the Nintendo DS.
Oh shit, I'm gonna have to get that for the Wii.

(23:50):
I wanna play Coraline the video game.
Holy shit, dude.
The Metacritic scores for the DS it was 50 out of 100.
For PS2 it was 39 out of 100.
And for the Wii it was 42 out of 100.
I'm not surprised.
Like movie based games never get good scores.

(24:11):
Coraline IGN said, like they didn't even rank it for the DS.
And then they scored it for the PS2 and Wii 2.5 out of 10.
Damn, okay.
Holy shit.
Okay, now I definitely gotta play this game.
Oh man, that is hilarious.

(24:34):
I'm trying to like what other, I'm trying to think of any other like big one.
Oh, brother bear on the Game Boy Advance was the bomb, dude.
I never got to play that.
It was hard.
Yeah.
It was really freaking hard.
It was like, it was a freaking platformer too.
And like there weren't, it was crazy because it's like you have to like hop over obstacles

(24:57):
and like all this crazy shit.
But like all the, it was, the mechanics are so dumb because all, all you like looking
back on it, it was freaking stupid.
Cause you just run around and you collect these berries.
And then when you come across like, I don't even think they had enemies.
Like they just had spikes and stuff that you could hit, but you just went, you just swiped.

(25:22):
But the mechanic that was cool is the, the levels where you had Koda, you could switch
between Koda and Kenai.
Okay.
That's cool.
Yeah.
So it was cool cause like you'd use, yeah, you'd use Koda to like go down into like an
area that was like tiny, like a tiny tunnel.

(25:42):
And then you'd like make your way up to like a top, push something over for, for Kenai
to jump on.
It was, it was sick.
It was super sick.
I remember it being cool.
And then I attempted to play it like when I found my, my DS, I, I, we'd gotten rid of
my Gameboy, but I had the DS and the DS worked with some of those games.

(26:06):
So yeah, when I was trying to play the DS, the DS for our play on the DS, it was like,
it was trash.
It was absolutely garbage.
But nostalgia like built it up so much in my brain.
Like it is funny though.
Anyway, getting back to Coraline.

(26:27):
Yeah.
Coraline, amazing movie.
I love this movie to death and I'm so grateful I got to re-experience it in, in 3D.
Fathom Events actually, so they did a re-release of it last year as well, but this time it
wasn't in 3D.
So it's cool to say that I can see, I, it's cool that I can say I've seen this movie twice

(26:55):
and it's re-entries and it's bringing back to theaters.
I saw both times.
So, but getting to what this deserves, it gets a full price ticket from me because I
can't say it.
It would.
I can't say enough good about this movie.
The fact that this is like his first and to me still their best is just mind blowing.

(27:20):
Like God, I love this movie.
But moving on, another one that I watched.
Taro.
This movie is a great example of the trailer was better than the actual movie.
I don't know.

(27:43):
I don't know if you saw the trailer, Caleb.
I do remember the trailer and I remember it being fairly scary.
Okay.
See?
Yeah.
So freaking like I've, I don't know.
There's a lot in the trailer.
I remember like, I love the same, the 12 cards in the circle, one more at the heart with
this final card.

(28:03):
Your reading will start.
Love that shit.
Them going through all the certain characters on the cards.
Just yeah, the trailer is freaking awesome.
I love the trailer.
It's unfortunate the movie is just not on that level.
It introduces like some interesting ideas, like the cards are freaking awesome and the

(28:24):
designs for each one of the cards is great.
The only problem is that that's probably the only cool stuff about this movie.
Because I feel with what they set up with the readings of the cards at the beginning,
they try to turn it into a take on the, on final destination.

(28:45):
Have you seen any of the final destination movies?
Not all the way through.
Okay.
So, but I'm, you know, the whole thing like death doesn't like to be cheated and stuff
like that.
I get the premise.
Okay.
So they kind of do that with, with these tarot cards when these friends get their readings.
And so they're, they're, I mean, this isn't spoilt.

(29:05):
Okay.
You know, if you guys don't want it to be spoiled and this isn't really spoiling, spoiling
anything.
Just spoil it.
No one's going to watch this movie with the recommendation you're giving it.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
So the, the, the, so the one friend that reads the tarot cards to her friends, they're all

(29:28):
like each one that the, the order that they're selected, that's the way that that's the order
that they're picked off.
And so, you know, it reminded me a lot of final destination because that's how it goes
that in the premonition, the order that you were supposed to die, that's the order that
death comes for you.
But I'm like final destination where it actually sets up as rules good, well, and follows the

(29:52):
damn rules.
This movie at the end just throws those rules out the goddamn window.
Oh man.
Because this is why we change.
This is specifically why we change character development to logic.
If you don't follow your own logic, you might as well not have a fricking movie.
Yeah.
No, I said, yeah.

(30:13):
Because each one of the friends is supposed to be killed by their certain care, by their
certain character from their card.
And so Jacob Babylon's character, remember Ned from Spider-Man, the new Spider-Man movies?
Yeah.
Okay.
So his card that he gets is the jester.
And so in his, in the scene where he's supposed to die, the fricking jester is, you know,

(30:40):
like he's fucking with him in the elevator that he's in, turning off all the lights,
all this shit.
And the final shot you see is the, I think it's the elevator door is open and there's
the jester's face.
I'm like, okay, there we go.
That's how he died.
Great.
No, at the ending when the, it finds out, when we find out the couple survived, shocker,
whoa, that's, that doesn't surprise me at all in horror movie.

(31:04):
Fricking a car, as they're walking away from the house that the final altercation happens,
a car pulls up, it's Jacob's character.
And you want to know how he, how he was able to survive?
How?
His roommate opened the elevator and I guess the jester just got scared or some shit.

(31:26):
And that's how he was able to avoid his death.
So screw yourself.
Are you kidding me?
So if someone interferes when the tarot character, whatever is about to kill you, oh, that you're
good.
That nothing happens to you.
Such bullshit.
Right?

(31:46):
Yeah.
It's, it's, it, oh dude, it pissed me the hell off.
Oh my gosh.
That is so annoying.
It's so stupid.
So because, and this is the only reason why I'm going to be giving it a, like nothing
better to do is for the actual like parts with the reading, because that was actually

(32:10):
kind of cool.
The character designs are really cool.
And the way that the characters are actually killed by their certain people is actually
quite interesting.
Even though, you know, one person doesn't die, which was really, really stupid.
But it's just everything else that sucks.
It's not great.

(32:31):
And honestly, it feels like a kind of like a final destination ripoff.
And because of that, my final movie I watched this week, I watched a arguably the best final
destination movie.
Wait, did I say it gets to nothing better to do on?
Yeah, you did.
Okay.
Just making sure.
So I decided after watching that I'd watch the best final destination movie in my opinion,

(32:55):
Final Destination Five.
And yeah, this movie is just as fun as much just as fun as a jet.
Oh my God.
Just as much fun as I remember the first time I watched it.
Like these movies are very like, cut and dry.
Like they're the same.
They're the same premise every single movie.

(33:17):
One character has a premonition about a horrible event.
Because of that, they're able to save a certain amount of people.
But because death doesn't like to be cheated in the order they would have died.
That's how that's how death picks them off.
And so nothing changes in this one.
It's the same shit.

(33:38):
But what I like that they added to that they add to this one is that if you're able to
if you kill someone in in.
Okay, how did?
If you yeah, if you kill someone.
Death you get basically their lifeline and death takes them instead.

(33:58):
So whatever life they would have had, you get to live that life and you're skipped over.
Okay.
And so and so yeah, they do a really good job setting that up and they follow through
with it to the very end.
And what I love about this movie, it freaking it turns out it's a freaking prequel to the

(34:19):
first one, which is freaking awesome.
Love that.
Like it actually like comes full circle.
And like the ending is like basically the opening for the first time final destination.
Just Yeah, like the deaths are freaking amazing.
This has one of the group actually know this has the most gruesome death I feel in this

(34:39):
franchise.
Have you ever heard?
Have you heard any of the deaths that happened in this movie?
No, I.
I've heard of some I haven't I wouldn't be able to put the death to the movie.
I'm I'm just going to tell you the one that like I'm I still go when it happens.

(35:02):
It's a girl that's a gymnast.
She's on she's spinning on a balance or bar, whatever the you know, like the chalk that
they like rub on their hands.
Yeah.
So that thing gets spilled and it gets in her face.
And because of that, she lets go and literally her her bottom half comes up as she lands.

(35:26):
And so she I don't know how to explain this.
She like her back hat, her bottom half like turns into like a scorpion's tail.
And so it's so she gets freaking folded.
Yeah, there we go.
Better way to put it and like it.
Oh, my God.

(35:46):
Like the VFX are so good.
The practical effects are so great in that scene because I truly believe that shit looked
real and just blah.
Does it hold up like like for the most part?
Yeah, like you can tell.
And you know, completely understandable that I think in the first initial when it's her

(36:07):
body snaps, definitely they had to do some CGI completely understandable.
But for the most part, that holds up so, so well.
It's insane.
Oh, man.
But yeah, just just for how much fun this movie is.
And honestly, all of them are streaming for Final Destination five.

(36:31):
And I hear that I think that either it's filming or it's wrap filming the next one Final Destination
bloodlines, which I'm so excited for.
I can't believe it's taken this long to get another Final Destination movie.
I'm here for it and I'm excited for that.
Hell, yeah.
But so that's all I got for weekly watch.

(36:52):
Sweet.
All right.
Well, with that, let's say we get into this week's breakdown.
Do we have to?
Unfortunately, we've already promised.
Yeah, that's true.
We already paid the money to watch this train wreck.
Yeah.

(37:12):
Wait, really quickly, it was DJ that recommended us to this, right?
It sure was.
Yeah, DJ, you owe me 10 bucks.
The same.
Yeah.
My Venmo is I'm just kidding.
All right.

(37:46):
All right.
Getting into this week's breakdown of a border borderlands.
I don't know why I said that.
He can't even say the name.
Yeah, I know.
Right.
I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately, like mumbling my words.
You okay?
Yeah, like, I don't know what the hell's going on.

(38:06):
You sure you don't like I'll catch myself doing it like where I'll talk.
And then it's just like something like that where it's like border land.
Like maybe like a mumble little like that's that was like very over the top.
Yeah, like I feel like I've been doing that a lot lately.
Anyway, if you have not seen Borderlands, we're about to spoil this whole freaking

(38:33):
movie.
Ninety five percent of the world.
Yeah.
According to that box office.
All right.
If you are new to our breakdown system, we have split movies into eight different categories
that we individually scored to come to a final all bros letter grade.
The eight categories that we score our story, writing, acting, character development, effects,

(38:58):
music, costumes, and then we give it our own personal score at the very end.
All of those numbers get magically added up and spit through our algorithm and give us
a letter grade to compare this movie to others of a similar grade.
So like I said, spoilers ahead.
We will be posting that spoiler warning now if I had it prepared.

(39:21):
I knew there was something I forgot to do.
All right.
We're posting that now as we get prepared for our favorite segment that we like to call
reading with Rose.
So if you listen beyond this point and anything is spoiled for you, you'll be fine.

(39:41):
Yep.
You're good.
All right.
On the planet of Pandora, Roland, a mercenary soldier, apparently gone rogue.
I love how they have to say.
I love how they know it's not confirmed.
So they have to say apparently.

(40:02):
He's already off to a great start.
Yep.
Kidnaps teenager, Tiny Tina, with the help of Creek, a psycho who was institutionalized
in the same facility.
Meanwhile, on another planet, bounty hunter Lilith is contacted by Atlas, a powerful corporate
magnate.
He convinces her to rescue Tina, his daughter.

(40:23):
Sorry.
He convinces her to rescue Tina, his daughter.
I thought that was a run on sentence.
My bad.
Lilith returns to Pandora, her home planet for the first time since she was a child.
With the help of Clap Trap, a robot that was mysteriously programmed to wait for her on
Pandora, she locates Tina.
After realizing that Atlas wants his daughter back against her will, Lilith teams up with

(40:49):
Roland and Creek when they are attacked by the Crimson Lance, the private army of Atlas.
Lilith is informed that Tina was genetically engineered with biological material from the
Aridians, the ancient race that once inhabited Pandora, and that Atlas believes only she

(41:10):
can open the vault where the secrets of the lost civilizations' advanced technology are
kept.
With the help of Lilith's estranged foster mother, Dr. Patricia Tanis, they locate the
key to open the vault in an underground maze occupied by a tribe of psychos.
They manage to take the key to the surface.

(41:31):
Lilith destroys the device Atlas entrusted her with to signal when she had rescued Tina,
and he immediately communicates with her via robotic drone, explaining that he still wants
the girl.
Tina overhears the end of the conversation and assumes Lilith has betrayed her.
She throws a grenade at Lilith, leaving her unconscious.
When Lilith recovers, Clap Trap unknowingly plays a holographic message for her recorded

(41:55):
by her mother.
The next day, okay, does it feel, I don't, maybe I missed something, but they just like
skipped over the introduction of Lilith and tiny Tina to each other.
Pretty much, yeah.
Okay.
Like Lilith like tracks tiny Tina down into like her, where, I mean, where she's like

(42:20):
staying.
And then she like tries to blow Lilith up and then turns out that Lil is trying to save
her from these soldiers and stuff.
Like it gets real confusing real quick.
It does.
Um, all right, the next day without Lilith and Clap Trap, the team find the vault only

(42:42):
to realize Atlas is waiting for them and they fight off as men.
However, tiny, wow, Tina, if you're going to, okay, if you're going to call her tiny
Tina throughout, don't just call her Tina, whatever.
Tiny Tina is unable to open the, uh, is, hmm.
However, tiny Tina is unable to open the vault.

(43:05):
Lilith appears and explains that she is the one who can do it.
Being an Iridian known as the firehawk, Atlas threatens to kill Tina.
If Lilith does not open the vault, she obeys, but what Tina's help traps Atlas inside where
a creature drags him away.
The group celebrates their survival.
Whoopty fucking.

(43:28):
Dude, that pretty much sums up my entire fricking feelings about this movie.
Holy shit.
Dude, it's so rough.

(43:49):
It.
Yeah.
Like, we were talking about this earlier.
I've never played a Borderlands game in my life.
I know that the games are fricking hilarious just from like little clips and bits I've
seen and that might be the only thing that I, I do know.

(44:10):
Like everything else is just more like assumption and whatnot, but they dropped the ball so
ridiculously hard.
Like speaking of Caleb bringing up that, you know, the video games are actually funny.
Neither of us laughed once in this movie.
Not even a little bit.
Clap trap was annoying as hell.

(44:32):
Dude, it was not one joke of his hit.
You, you got Jack Black, dude.
You, they finally found a role that I didn't.
I don't like Jack Black in.
Dude, it's safe.
This is the first time that I actually found Jack Black annoying and I was waiting for
because it's in the first trailer that at the end when I mean they do have this scene

(44:57):
in it when he's like, like freaking basically shitting what he went through in like, like
a previous scene of like the debris and shit out of out of him and in the trailer he's
like, Oh, don't look at me.
I can't go when you're, you're looking at me.
Oh wait, no, actually I can't.
I really can't.
I'm like, this is uncomfortable and really freaking stupid and I'm grateful that they

(45:20):
didn't put it in the movie.
Like the scene still sucked, but I'm glad that that audio was not in it.
Dude, it was so dumb.
Like I've, like I've said, I've seen bits and pieces.
I saw freaking clips before I went to the movie today and they made me laugh and I'm

(45:42):
like, there's no way that they freaking completely missed the mark.
And yeah, they freaking did.
The the writing is going to get a freaking ripped and new asshole.
Oh yeah.
But yeah, like, like story aside, I feel like, you know, I mean, thank God that this is a

(46:05):
short movie.
It's only an hour and 40 minutes.
But because of that, you are thrown into the story so goddamn fast.
You barely get any time to understand these characters.
And when it's discovered that Lilith is the freaking was it the firehawk saw that coming

(46:26):
from a mile away, dude, right?
Like that.
Usually I am not good at that.
I know if you caught it, you know, it was freaking obvious.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
But just just like some of these characters, I feel like come in way too late.

(46:50):
They don't barely get like anything to do.
Like I would be very interested to see how Tanis is in the actual freaking games, because
as much as I feel Jamie Lee Curtis tried her best, like, you know, like, you know, just
I'm sure it's dirty.
They did.
Because you could have you, Jamie.

(47:11):
Everyone in this freaking cast was done dirty.
Oh, yeah.
100%.
But there is like all of these characters.
I'm just like, you have to be so much more interesting in the games, right?
Because even Tiny Tina, a little girl that makes bombs out of stuffed animals, there

(47:31):
were moments that I'm just like, I don't find her interesting.
This is stupid.
This is boring, dude.
And she's not like she is so boring in this.
But the little clips and bits I've seen of her, because she has like her whole like a
spin off game called what's it called?

(47:52):
Tiny Tina's Wonderlands, where it's yeah, so it's it's Tiny Tina setting up like a
D&D style game.
That's cool.
I like that.
So from what I understand about it, it's you're playing like inside that world that she creates.

(48:15):
And so you can die and all this other stuff.
And then you have to restart and everything.
And I hear the dialogue is freaking incredible.
But that's awesome.
Yeah.
But man, like Borderlands, if there's one thing I know about it is that it's supposed
to be well written.
The story, the story, like, do you understand how many freaking Borderlands video games

(48:37):
there are and spin offs?
You're telling me that this is the best story you could come up with.
What's really what kills me is the fact that not only did Eli Roth direct this movie, he
also wrote the story.
He also wrote the screenplay.

(48:57):
So he wrote the screenplay and he wrote the story.
Dude, you lost so much credibility in my eyes.
No, like I was telling Caleb, I don't know if for those that have watched Captain Midnight
on YouTube, he summed it up perfectly.
And I absolutely, absolutely agree with him.

(49:17):
Eli Roth is actually a pretty decent choice for a Borderlands movie from what I know about
the video games, because they're very violent.
They're gory.
They're fun, they're a fun time with that kind of stuff.
And so the man that has done Cabin Fever, the hostile movies, that is actually a really
good choice for that kind of material.

(49:40):
But because the studio wanted to make it PG-13, the fact that Eli Roth wanted to be like James
Gunn and make his version of Guardians of the Galaxy just freaking up.
Yeah, just blew up in their faces.
And there is throughout the movie, you can clearly tell when the reshoots are prominent,

(50:03):
the rewrites when freaking.
Oh my God.
Who is the director of the first Deadpool movie?
Tim Miller.
Tim Miller, when he came in to take over for Eli Roth, just it's so clear and it sucks
because I feel that we could have actually had.

(50:24):
I mean, this is coming from a person that's never played any Borderland games, but I respect
Eli Roth.
I mean, I've lost some respect for him.
I respect Eli Roth.
I respect Eli Roth as a director and the type of chaos and what he brings to the table with
his type of directing style.

(50:45):
And I feel that you could have had something special if you would have just let him do
what he's good at for Borderlands.
But unfortunately, this was this was this needed to be a rated R movie.
Oh, 100 percent.
This borderland should never be.
Yeah.
Every every Borderlands game as far as I know is rate and for mature.

(51:06):
Yep.
So why would you dumb that down when it comes to a movie?
It should be absolutely rated R, not PG-13.
Yeah.
Like what what?
I don't know.
No studio should be thinking, oh, yeah, but what if parents want to bring their kids to
a Borderlands movie?
Don't.
Yeah.

(51:27):
No, no parent that has seen anything from the Borderlands game is thinking, oh, well,
you know what?
Maybe I want to take my kid to the movie.
Yeah.
Dude, are you actually shitting me like even like the like just compare like directly comparing
this to another franchise that like I feel had been long overdue for some sort of cinema

(51:54):
cinema or televised rendition with Fallout.
Fallout did not stray away from the freaking blood and gore at all.
They even like they embraced that shit.
They embraced what Fallout was to its core.

(52:15):
They did this story such a disservice not following what the video games are like.
You think this is popular because it's it's fun for kids.
I mean, I mean, I'm sure if I was probably I mean, yeah, like if I was a kid when these
movies first started or not movies when these video games started coming out, I'm sure I

(52:38):
would have been a freaking on the Borderlands train so fast.
Yeah, dude.
And I was pumped to see this movie because of these like clips that I'd seen from the
games.
Yeah, because I'm like, this is funny shit.
Like if the movie is even half as funny as the clips that I've seen, like that's nuts.
But I'll fully admit the first trailer I actually found like decent except for that ending with

(53:01):
Claptrap.
That was so freaking stupid.
But the trailer actually wasn't that bad.
So it piqued my interest a little bit.
But then unfortunately, we got the movie.
Yeah.
It's rough, dude.
It is rough.
I jumping straight into story.

(53:25):
It was very rushed.
It was I don't think the the hour 40 minute screen time did this story any service whatsoever.
This needed to be a little bit longer to make it feel not so freaking quick.

(53:47):
Because it's just like it felt like the way that they built it up.
Lilith is like the narrator.
And she explains that so many people have been hunting down or trying to find this vault.
And with like so many people have like come to this planet to find the vault.

(54:11):
So many people have died trying to find this vault and all of this other bullshit.
And I'm like when it comes down to it, like it wasn't that far away from any like from
civilization or it didn't seem like it was like according to the map.
Like it didn't seem like it was far from civilization.
And I'm like also seemed like you only really needed two items.

(54:35):
It seemed like a very short quest.
Yeah.
Like a ridiculously short quest.
This frickin ripped off and did worse what onward did.
Like they just circled around like frickin in the trailer when she's doing her voiceover.

(54:57):
And she's like oh and they say if you go hunting for it, make sure to bring it along anybody
you can because it's on the worst planet in the world.
And I'm just like I think you would have been fine if it was just you.
Yeah.
Like and like literally you're not most of these people you didn't sought after.
They just came along for the ride.
They kind of joined this team unnecessarily.

(55:21):
It felt like they joined the team just because.
Yeah.
It was bad.
Like the team building was was just horrid.
Like I understand Lilith but all these other people like what's her her name Maxine like
the bartender chick.
Oh yeah.
Her being like oh I could have turned you in.

(55:45):
Why didn't you?
Yeah.
Dude like frickin like at least add some spice to this movie.
Good Lord.
Like honestly I feel like Tannis didn't even need to go.
Like I don't understand what the hell she was about.
Honestly all the information that they needed she could have just told them and just stayed

(56:07):
at her computer.
Yep.
She didn't need to come.
Pretty much.
Yeah she didn't need to be there.
And oh man this is going to get into acting but Kevin Hart could not play a frickin badass.
No and.
It's rough.
It is it's a hard sell.
It's a really hard sell.
And I know he like he actually likes branching off to like more serious roles like he doesn't

(56:32):
want everybody to just think he's good at comedy.
And as much as I appreciate that.
And I feel that he is trying here.
I really do.
And you know yeah we'll get into acting with this but like it just didn't work.
Like it felt so weird honestly.
It was dude.

(56:53):
It totally was.
And then yeah it was predictable as shit when Lilith turned became the firehawk or whatever
the hell they call it.
I think it is the firehawk.
Yeah it was it was so dumb.
It was dude I swear it was rough dude.
It's like I don't understand why I need to care about any of this.

(57:14):
Like what's for one what was in the vault.
Yeah.
It was just a bunch of floating cubes.
Yeah when we actually saw the vault I'm like what the hell is special about this place.
Yeah like this is what everyone's after.
Like this is what's supposed to bring peace to all the like the land.

(57:35):
Like it's a bunch of floating cubes.
Like at least explain to us what the hell they are or at least make it seem like a bigger
deal.
Like I don't know like give us like some treasure planet shit.
Like you basically ripped off the portal from that.
Like just rip off the rest of it.

(58:00):
And then like the the the bad Atlas his death was just so anticlimactic.
Oh my god yeah.
It was dude it was not well put together at all.
No it was just it was everywhere.
Yep I'm sure I wish I could be nicer to this.

(58:23):
This is get a 68.
This is so bad.
Dude you're being that nice.
That nice.
I'm 65.
Oh man.
Dude.
It was it was interesting enough in like the most bland way.

(58:48):
Like that that's where I'm getting with it.
Like with the story.
Like I think the bones were there.
Kinda like it was it was kind of like if they were trying to assemble a house using like
freaking Lego bricks as the foundation like it's not super secure but it's it's there.
All right.
You know what 66 actually.

(59:11):
Talk to me about point.
Moving on over to the writing dude.
Oh listen I don't understand a lot about about who these characters are supposed to be.
There's something like here's a lot of assumptions just based off of the the little bits and
clips that I have seen.

(59:33):
This is kind of what I've pulled about these characters.
I do not know.
I hadn't seen anything about Lilith.
The only ones that I'd seen anything about is Tiny Tina and Creek.
Okay.
So from what I understand or from what I've kind of gathered about Creek is that he is
someone that can put together rational thoughts but is completely incapable of expressing

(59:58):
those thoughts.
And so he was just yelling the most random shit which I know he does in the in the games.
Yeah.
He yells random shit but it's the fact that you all you think he does is yell random shit.
I think what like what you're saying what they actually had good material to go off

(01:00:20):
of in the video games they just tried to like turn them into another version of Drax.
That's what I felt like.
Yeah.
Dude, do you know how much more funny he would have been if you could have heard his inner
dialogue and then heard him just yell something completely just outlandish out.
I bet freaking hilarious.

(01:00:42):
Yeah.
Like I've it could have been a bit that would have that could have gotten old.
But like every once in a while when they're talking about like the like I don't know like
the explosives deal or whatever like you could have heard like really like elegant inner
dialogue and then he's like I'm going to smash your face like something like that like or

(01:01:08):
whatever the hell that he yells.
Yeah.
Like you could have kept his dialogue exactly the same.
Throw in a little like inner dialogue and I think that would have like lighten his character
up so much more than whatever the shit they did with this.
And then Tiny Tina I feel like she's supposed to be like completely unhinged.

(01:01:32):
Like the way that I like I've equated her to like from what I've seen is how is like
Louise from Bob's Burgers when she's freaking on a freaking rampage and just screaming at
people like that's how I how I equate her character just unhinged.
Right.
I love how both were bunny ears too.

(01:01:52):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it's like how she didn't feel that way.
She didn't feel like she was unhinged.
She felt like an annoying little brat.
Yeah.
There were moments when she was actually tame and it was honestly weird for little I know

(01:02:12):
about these games.
Yeah.
Like we we needed more unhinged and I know that that's kind of a hard thing to do with
a like translating it like a video game character to real life.
But I feel like the way that they translated her is that she was just kind of like tossing
things around and then skipping.

(01:02:34):
Like the skipping was like supposed to equate to being unhinged.
Yeah.
It's like oh look I have explosives there stuffed animals.
I love skipping.
Oh look I have the biggest guns out of everybody.
Yeah like none of her dialogue made her seem unhinged.
It just felt like she was like trying to show off.

(01:02:56):
Yeah.
And it didn't it didn't come off well.
Like I feel like they they could have freaking gone off the walls with her.
Like I think there should have been no there should have been no room for her to have like
quiet moments like it almost felt like she was like playing it up.

(01:03:17):
Yeah.
And like honestly I feel Ariana Greenblatt could have done what needed to be done with
with with with that.
I I will say I don't know if she was the right fit for Tiny Tina.
At least the tiny at least the tiny Tina I have in my mind.
Okay.
I don't know.

(01:03:39):
I don't know who could have played her though.
Yeah.
I have no frame of reference for any other actress that could have played it.
But like when.
Oh shit.
What's his name.
Kevin Hart's character.
Oh shit.
I'm looking it up right now because it is that frickin forgettable.
Yeah.
Like when Roland when Roland comes in and he's like talking about rescuing her it looked

(01:04:04):
like she was in danger.
Yeah.
Then like it or it felt like she was in danger because she comes in and she kind of has a
worried expression and then she like goes into like a little ditzy mode.
Yeah.
And like it's like she pauses and then jumps into that like and like no she should be like
that all the time.

(01:04:26):
And 100 percent ditz.
Yeah.
But like in a threatening way like like I don't know like it.
I would have had her play that role so much different like it would have been more like
I'm trying to think of what like just like you could really like set the character up.

(01:04:48):
Like I said this could I don't know the character enough so any Borderlands fans that knows
better like please feel free to ignore what I'm about to like pitch.
But I would have personally had her and this would have only worked in a rated R movie
too I feel I would have had like a bigger sequence of Roland like trying to break her

(01:05:14):
out where he's like putting on the like like see like a super intense like action sequence
where he's like being super stealthy putting like on this helmet and stuff to like disguise
himself gets into like these cells like runs into Krieg who's like losing his shit like
bashing his head up against like the the walls or some shit like.

(01:05:38):
So you see Krieg and see how he's like freaking nuts right.
Yeah.
And then I would have gotten to Tina's cell and then he comes in and like sneaks in closes
the door and he's like hey like I'm here to get you out and then have her freaking scream
at him like like because she's having like a little tea party and like or something like

(01:06:02):
had her just like go ballistic on him and then he's like like have him kind of been
taken aback and he's like what the shit and then and then all the other guards come in
and he's like oh and then like start beating everyone else up like just something along
those lines where it's just you you see how unhinged she is.

(01:06:24):
And then like and then while he's like we need to go that he like goes to grab her and
she's like freaking out because her like they're leaving the people behind and then are like
her little like stuffed animals or shit behind and just like I don't know like it should
have been like related to like out of acted like one of those her stuffed animals was

(01:06:47):
like going through something and don't you see she's devastated or like some shit like
that and then like yell at her like the stuffed animal while she's like being pulled yanked
out of the room like you'll get over him you don't need no man and then like and then the
door shut like shit like that like it should have been just like what the hell is wrong

(01:07:11):
with this chick.
I would have loved that though amazing and then like the same thing when like Creed got
out like Tina should have been like immediately just all up in his business being like you
listen to me now like that kind of bullshit like I would have had him like fight Roland

(01:07:32):
a little bit and then have like Tina come and like jump on him like freaking like a
spider monkey just like you listen to me now and like shit like like I said unhinged that's
unhinged to me like out like you need to freak the audience out not whatever the bullshit

(01:07:53):
you did and then like the whole interaction with her like she should have been like a
ninja like just like borderline teleporter like that's how I would have played her character
off just to add that level of unhinged yeah so like have her like do like a face to face

(01:08:16):
thing with like with Lilith and then instead of her like you see her kind of like climb
up to the top like I don't I don't even know I don't know how I think it would have been
funny to see her like play the whole like play that role the same way that like when
when Lilith came in and was just like here I'm gonna take you to your dad and then have

(01:08:38):
her be like oh my gosh like thank you for rescuing me and then like packing all of her
shit and then like oh I'm gonna go grab one thing and then she like throws a shit ton
of like explosive rabbits in the in the bus and then like Lilith's like oh shit runs out
blows up gets knocked on the floor coughing turns around and then she's like already on

(01:09:00):
top of this damn structure and like aiming the big gun and she's like just stand still
and then like okay yeah like it should have been like you shouldn't have been able to
like keep track of her yeah like that that's how I would have how I would have played her
off like it just come like I said completely unhinged and here it was just annoying little

(01:09:25):
girl yeah he's not wrong and then I don't know how Lilith is supposed to be so I like
I said I have no frame of reference for anyone else like Roland Tannis or I guess clap trap
but I feel like clap traps super funny in the games I think and this is this kind of

(01:09:48):
thing goes with acting I feel the problem that I've seen with Lilith and Tannis is the
fact that it's supposed to be because um Cate Blanchett is I think like five to ten years
older than what Lilith is in like the game she's a lot younger than how old Cate Blanchett
is and so um Tannis is supposed to be you know her adopted guardian the friend of her

(01:10:14):
moms that you know I thought they were sisters no dude yeah that's what I was gonna get to
Cate Blanchett and Jamie Lee Curtis are way too close in age for me to even think that
Lilith has been raised or was raised by Tannis as a as a child like no I uh-uh like Tannis

(01:10:39):
is like the girl like Tannis is like the grandma to to Lilith I'm like bullshit no well Jamie
Lee Curtis may have gray hair but no I ain't buying this shit so from what I understand
isn't Tannis just a friend of Lilith's mother and it so it was like a foster mom situation
yeah basically yeah that doesn't work they're like the same age yeah like I actually want

(01:11:07):
to see like how close in age they are all right Jamie Lee Curtis is 65 Cate Blanchett
is 55 so 10 year difference okay that still doesn't work yeah no yeah no absolutely not
oh man dude the dialogue was so bad here it was it was the most cookie cutter cliche bullshit

(01:11:41):
too especially freaking like when Lilith discovers that she's the firehawk literally everything
that came out of her mouth was like something that like you expect like freaking Luke Skywalker
to say in the original Star Wars this is freaking AI written oh dude 100% like freaking all

(01:12:02):
that she's the speeches that she's giving to every single one of them when they when
when they succeed and when she do when she says like oh I'll let you into the vault if
you let my friends go I'm like bitch they ain't your friends like you guys have not
connected enough to consider each other friends like no no no now for thinking Guardians of

(01:12:25):
the Galaxy okay yeah no completely understand for how those characters are set up and how
the story progresses what they go through by the end of that movie when they all join
hands to defeat Ronan yeah I can totally understand that them actually having a connection actually
becoming friends makes complete sense I can totally buy it couldn't buy shit with those
here with these characters here ain't no way no they're friends joke dude freaking commander

(01:12:51):
Knox the one that was coming after Tina her lines were so dumb like when Tina comes and
she's like I'm here to bring you in oh yeah you and what army this army you know that
I'm like dude shut up no no you did not like this that like and then they play it up dude

(01:13:22):
like this is where you subvert our expectations like you can have the cookie cutter bullshit
just play it off different yeah like the personally I don't like the cookie cutter shit like I
would have just kind of like set that aside how I would have set it up is like you could

(01:13:43):
still could have had the oh yeah you and what army this are or like you mean this army and
then like turn around and there's like one dude who comes over the the thing and it's
just like like it's just the one dude for a while and then he'd like kind of like looks
around and he's just like am I really okay yeah how would have been funny yeah and then

(01:14:03):
it's just like I don't know you could have had like knocks like yelling at and be like
where's everyone else and he's like I see him back there what the hell it's like apparently
I'm the time to this but like I don't know you could have played that like that up like

(01:14:25):
just have one dude and then have her be like what the shit and then have them like come
from somewhere else and like we gotta turn around I don't know like no I like it like
I'm coming up with a lot of shit on the spot so obviously it could be better written but

(01:14:46):
it's it's sad that I thought that that's maybe what they were going to do I was like okay
how are they gonna like I I hated that because it's like I knew what Borderlands was supposed
to be kinda yeah it's like I was waiting for them to subvert my expectations and get a
good genuine laugh yeah out of me and they never were able to because they freaking did

(01:15:09):
bullshit like this yeah um speaking of you know bad writing um like we talked about you
know that's neither of us laughing throughout the movie every single line that is written
for Claptrap is just annoying as all hell and it's not Jack Black's fault his voice

(01:15:29):
is fine it's all the dialogue that comes out is bad yeah dude there's only one thing that
Claptrap's did that I was I almost chuckled at what was that it was the it was when Lilith
was just like can you do the scanning without saying you're scanning and he's like yes scanning

(01:15:50):
scanning and like kept saying it I was like uh huh alright like it's just like that was
like the only joke that like that got me or that I wouldn't even say it got me it was
just kind of got a okay not even a chuckle it was yeah just kind of like it was more

(01:16:11):
like a caught off guard cough yeah oh man like that is literally the only thing that
I even like like you said I have a hard time calling it chuckle I'll give it to it because
there were so few of them I'll that's the only thing they got to chuckle out of me is

(01:16:32):
the when he said like oh can you can you be quiet yes I can scanning scanning or without
or what was it without the song yeah something like that yeah like for bad dude like so bad
just maybe it's just because um you know I don't know these characters but one scene

(01:16:56):
when they're like in the like big the big battle and Tanis grabs a gun from um shit
what's Kevin Hart's character's name again Roland Roland grabs it from like his I think
like he had a gun on his side one on the side of one of his legs and he's just like what
are you doing I needed a gun well then you asked for it Tanis like I don't do like if

(01:17:19):
you're in a situation who gives a shit where she gets one like you should be the fact that
you guys actually knew each other before you all got together I feel that there should
be no I don't know maybe it's supposed to be a joke I didn't laugh but just who you
think that he'd be like yeah if you need a gun just take whatever the hell you need um

(01:17:41):
I don't know that line was just so stupid to me it was dude it was there was no bit
of dialogue in this that was memorable no there really wasn't everything like anything
that you can imagine was in this like thinking the most cookie cutter bullshit it was probably

(01:18:02):
in here yeah no you're not gonna hurt my friends you're not gonna bet bet bet bet bet like shot
ah she's she's not the fire hawk I am yeah it was so dumb I'm trying to see if they even

(01:18:24):
have like a quotes thing okay here's some this is between Lilith and Atlas I have something
you'll never have Atlas what's that Lilith enough okay shut up good lord I forgot about
that yeah hopefully there's some more gems in there let's see yeah all these are freaking

(01:18:52):
like one-liners good lord like I shit you not it's like Lilith we're gonna need some
wheels tiny Tina ooh mine's bigger clap trap I blacked out did something important happen
oh yeah that was dude freaking the one um again going back to that fight when he tosses

(01:19:13):
the guys in the the hole and he's just like step aside bitches or some shit like that
I'm like I didn't even laugh in the trailer when he said that same here dude uh I'm trying
to see if there's a yeah freaking Krieg was so Krieg was yelling them like the bottom
of the barrel shit he was like it's time to bleed Krieg reminded me a lot of Bane and

(01:19:41):
Batman and Robin and that's not a good sign yeah let's see nobody cuts me but me oh yeah
that was stupid this is where I feel like because he yells like like the the worst shit
like this would have been funny to have inner dialogue yeah that would have been great like

(01:20:05):
like very elegant like dialogue and then it's the comes out that shit yeah and then I'd
like to know how the hell Roland survived getting attacked by all those damn oh dude
yeah like seriously that was such bullshit and yeah dude freaking we see him get tackled
down yeah you see him get tackled and I was like okay it's over yeah and there was like

(01:20:28):
a ton of people it wasn't just like one or two people that were tackling him it was like
a group yeah and then he like gets up and like what's his line worst orgy ever like
are you actually kidding me like freaking I I wish that they actually would have killed

(01:20:51):
him because at least that would have added some stakes to this goddamn movie a little
bit yeah dude here's what I thought was going to happen too like that it was going to like
save him like this is how something I felt would have been funny to do with like that
whole sequence have him do I do the whole sacrificing himself thing and then Tina gives

(01:21:13):
him the the rabbit and he he takes the rabbit throws it in the hallway it blows up but it
blows a hole in the damn grates what that will drop everyone into the freaking acid
and then like all the people freaking die and then he's like kind of sits and takes
a breath and then he's like oh shit and then he like walks over to the elevator realizes

(01:21:39):
like that he has to like climb up and then he's like then you see him like well and then
start like hiking his way up like that would I think that would have been funny that actually
would have gotten a laugh out of me yeah like you just see them like still like I would

(01:22:00):
have even had it so he still sees them like blasting off and it like when the whole teleporter
thing happens he's just like okay cool and then he starts like climbing and then you
see the teleporter and they disappear and he's like god damn it yeah I would have laughed

(01:22:21):
at that yeah like this had the moat this is one that I am I'm at 65 I have no shame given
it that that feels hive to me too it's just cookie cutter bullshit with no real substance
you don't subvert our expectations in this supposed action comedy and based off of what

(01:22:47):
I know from the the games you let us down so hard no this needed to be rated R 1 million
percent 100 percent like I said earlier let Eli Roth cook let him have an R rated version
of Borderlands and you could have actually probably had something special here yeah but
no we had to make it family-friendly we had to we had to be the next Guardians of the

(01:23:11):
Galaxy well how did that turn out for you guys like shit you know what like would redeem
this movie if they reshot it same cast and everything because all these people have the
potential to make this movie great yeah the cast is not the problem the cast is actually

(01:23:32):
the entire freaking movie the entire freaking movie keep the costumes reshoot the entire
goddamn movie and just have them like have like have them basically watch this movie
about themselves and be like that was garbage like make fun of the movie like that is the

(01:23:55):
only thing that would redeem this movie yeah that would actually be really fun to watch
not gonna lie yeah it's like give us a sequel that's actually good but have it start off
with that cast watching the movie and being like that was and have it rated R have it
that be like that was f-ing awful yeah and then go from there it's just like great we've

(01:24:20):
acknowledged it moving on dude why didn't they just hire the people that did fallout
dude yeah like for real this is what happens when you hire people or get studios getting
involved in shit they have no business getting involved in exactly this is how it should

(01:24:42):
work you don't get to tell like if I'm a director and I know that this isn't how it works but
if I'm a director you don't tell and you want me to direct a movie based off of a property
that I am a fan of or that I am familiar with enough to be comfortable making this movie

(01:25:04):
you don't get to tell me a goddamn thing you hired me for a reason yeah you're it's like
you are either investing in this movie or you are not otherwise get them out of my office
exactly like if if you believe in me enough to make this movie happen you don't get to

(01:25:26):
say a word about it yeah it's like I will come and get you when there are bills to be
paid otherwise you stay the ever-living hell away from my office and my sets and my studio
like oh shit yeah like shoe fly don't bother me like unless you are a fan of this material

(01:25:56):
and you have some input like hey I would like to see this because this is in the video game
fantastic bro like unless you are a fan of the material you should not have a have a
say in adaptations whatsoever exactly like I've I've felt like this a while like even

(01:26:17):
with Marvel movies you need to hire a team of people that know the source material and
are fans of it yep you need to get the same from the director someone who's a fan of the
source material but then you need to throw in one person to basically make it easy easy

(01:26:43):
to consume for general audiences like get one or two people that are like that don't
know the source material and be like hey explain this better explain this or elaborate on that
like whatever the case may be make it easier to consume for general audience like that's
their whole job they just take that and and shrink it down and if it's missing the essence

(01:27:04):
then you you throw the essence back in like the best way that you can or explain it better
now like that's how the frickin writing rooms should be structured anything shorter that
is frickin asinine agreed all right did you say what you're given writing oh same 65 all

(01:27:28):
right cool moving on over to acting we have Kate Blanchett who plays Lilith we got Kevin
Hart who plays Roland we have Ariana Greenblatt who plays Tiny Tina Jamie Lee Curtis who
plays Tanis Jack Black who does the voice for clap trap and then Florian Montaneu Montaneu

(01:28:03):
who plays Krieg and then Edgar Ramirez who plays Atlas I'm gonna say it I feel he's the
worst of the movie oh yeah such a bland ass villain he is so freaking bland and we don't
even know what the hell he's after yeah and we'll never know since he's yeah the show

(01:28:29):
what's it called the vault the vault that's what's called so original yeah we don't even
know what the is in the vault like that is the craziest bullshit dude the inside of the
vault looks like the like a dream or yeah like a dream or the mind of a frickin like

(01:28:51):
an avatar character like it looks like something out of Pandora some shit like that this was
straight up the portal to treasure planet yeah treasure planet was just a basic triangle
this had a little shape to it that's the only difference but the only yeah treasure planet

(01:29:14):
ran so this movie could crawl crawl this leg got its legs beaten within an inch of its
life and then ran over just for good measure and then when they started to crawl their
hands were beaten with bats have you ever seen um the spongebob episode of um uh sea

(01:29:41):
bear attack yep okay dude bingo bingo i forgot to tell you they hate limping more than running
what did i do that time i don't know i guess he just doesn't like you oh man all right

(01:30:03):
what what's your top three look like um oh that's hard um this is funny because we can
all like this is one that i my top three is just based off of who i like as an actor uh
this has nothing to do with their performance

(01:30:30):
i mean honestly same um so yeah in that regard number one i'm gonna give to cate blanchett
um same same here um like i remember seeing somewhere that like the reason why she took
this role is because she was tired of being stuck in her house during covid and like fair

(01:30:55):
she wanted to get out and like i guess try something different and borderlands came across
her desk and so she's just like eh why not let's try something different i'll give you
a million reasons why not yeah if you want a movie that bad we will write one specifically
for you please stay away from this from these types of movies can someone just bring hella

(01:31:20):
back from the dead um because i'd much rather see her come back as hella than have her be
in this abomination i know dude i respect so many of these actors dude same here this
just puts a big old freaking red mark on their imdb yeah seriously uh number two uh gonna

(01:31:47):
give to jamie lee curtis um i will always love jamie lee curtis she's the original
screen scream queen lori strode love her absolutely to death like caleb said she was wasted here
um but what she's given i think she does a decent job um all of her like gibbering and
like you know like kind of not being all uh in not informed but like you can definitely

(01:32:12):
tell like she was off in some other world in uh some scenes which i i kind of enjoyed
um i didn't dude i kept questioning what the hell her character was doing like with the
group i was like it feels like you're the man in the chair like what are you doing here
yeah no that's fair maybe since it's a jamie i was turning a blind eye to that i mean fair

(01:32:37):
enough dude uh the number three just because i mean the only um uh role i can compete because
i've only seen her seen her another one other role um so number three i'm going to give
to ariana greenblatt i've only ever ever seen her in barbie she was good there and i know

(01:32:59):
we were talking about how you know she's literally just annoying little shit here but i feel for
like what she was given she tries the she tries her best to make it work and i gotta
give her like props for that and there are moments that i did have a good time watching
her on screen um that's really all i can say um so yeah she's number three i i'm i'm flip

(01:33:29):
flopping two and three okay i really like her and i feel like she has the potential
she had the potential to play this character really well yeah but i i do feel like she
plays this is tough this would have been if if the movie that i have in my head would

(01:33:52):
have been made and obviously like with this cast i would have thrown her so far outside
her comfort zone it would have been crazy like she would have like she you would have
left the movie theater being like she might be insane
like that's that is how hard like because all her other roles she plays like a little

(01:34:17):
badass like in barbie she plays like kind of the hard ass that eventually gets turned
over to like not be so honoree yeah and then the other stuff i've seen her in like uh she
played young asoka she was young gamora like she plays oh yeah i forgot about that yeah

(01:34:40):
she plays like tough characters like that's the the big thing she plays like these these
strong tough characters here she needs she needed to like unleash her crazy yeah in a
way that no one has ever done before tiny tina is not some like she was playing it so
ridiculously mild i'm like you need to go ham on the freaking camera on everyone like

(01:35:07):
you you need to scare us like give me your best interpretation of a young harley quinn
or would you say something different you know what that might actually be a really good
comparison yeah okay i have i do have a feeling that uh tiny tina is a bit crazier than harley

(01:35:27):
quinn though fair but yeah like harley quinn like that's how i would have had her play
it up that is exactly how i've had her play it up all right like you you just need to
go freaking crazy like we need to believe that you are out of your mind and then yeah

(01:35:48):
same deal like with everyone else but yeah jimmy lee kurtis love her no real complaints
other than sorry you were in this movie sorry for everyone that was in this movie yeah but
i mean even most of these people for how much of a career that they've set up for themselves
they'll be fine with this box office bomb i hope we're covered she is i hope ariana

(01:36:12):
is i hope so as well because she deserves a second shot because she is a very very good
actress yeah absolutely acting no one gave their best job here i'm sitting at like a
72 it was like their most average bland performances ever i think i'm gonna just gonna be a little

(01:36:42):
higher at a 75 because i feel like like it definitely does feel phoned in but there were
some parts that i feel that they were at least trying a little bit even though yeah it clearly
was just for a paycheck like 100 but there were some bits sprinkled throughout that i

(01:37:03):
feel that there was an effort and i feel a good example even though the dialogue sucked
i do feel that jack black was trying as claptrap like the voice that he was doing i feel he
was trying maybe if his dialogue wasn't written so shitty that yeah because like you know

(01:37:23):
usually it's very rare you don't see jack black give 100 to a role and like it seemed
like he was having a really fun time voicing him um yeah but they kept recycling jokes
yeah no yeah like the freaking the joke about lilith being being dead got so old so quick

(01:37:45):
oh yeah like that would have been funny as a one-time joke yeah maybe if you would have
done it in the proper context but and then like him talking about how mean she is like
okay we get it you think she's mean like can you calm down like that's that's how i felt

(01:38:08):
about him like i was annoyed with him yeah i'm like no you want to like you want him
to be endearing and he wasn't yeah that's a good point like there i'm i'm gonna do like
a freaking borderlands deep dive freaking i hate like you you you keep making me think
i'm like yeah you know what that was too high all right 74 you son of a bitch all right

(01:38:37):
moving on over to character development there was none moving on dude there i mean there
was some i mean with lilith at least yeah but just she comes to this realization that's
kind of out of nowhere yeah that and you are the daughter of atlas you're you're the uh

(01:38:58):
which was a firehawk right that's what's called yeah yeah you're you're the firehawk you're
the only one that can open the vault you're the only one that can save pandora i was like
this is so freaking stupid yeah freaking cookie cutter bullshit and unfortunately that led
to a freaking cookie cutter character development but less so because it wasn't written well

(01:39:22):
yeah like she comes to this realization and she grows she's like a bounty hunter like
a merciless bounty hunter that they like they established this like really well at the beginning
that she is a merciless bounty hunter who suddenly like becomes friends with people
that she was essentially hunting down yeah like it makes zero like there were so many

(01:39:48):
decisions here that were just so out of character for her yeah and it yeah it didn't track whatsoever
not at all and they built her up as such a bat like like a freaking heartless badass
and like i'm sure you know her if um if it was this storyline in the video game and for

(01:40:10):
how like actually developed lilith is as a character i'm sure would have actually worked
but for how little you for how little time at an hour and 40 minutes you have to set
up lilith as this rogue badass that you know just doesn't care about anyone but herself
and then does a freaking 180 at the end that oh you know like i i actually care about these

(01:40:36):
people um you know i'm i'm the daughter of atlas you know these these people are special
to me just it's so stupid it is it was ridiculously dumb this is one i'm probably going to put
on the same level of story it was like 68 and that's being very generous yeah i'm not

(01:41:01):
going to be that generous i'm going to be at 60 so i don't think that you can bump me
up on this one i'm at a 65 for character development have at it dude
all right next up we got effects and if there's anything that you thought could save this

(01:41:22):
movie it doesn't yeah i mean some of the sets are kind of cool like dude how rubbery did
everyone look anytime there was like a crazy action sequence though oh dude oh dude so
so bad it was so bad it was like distractingly bad like and dude the freaking choreography

(01:41:49):
for the gun fights was ridiculous oh jeez it did it was again distracting are you kidding
me the way that she's like i'm like can you just freaking that's not how you would shoot
if you're getting freaking mauled by a bunch of people you're not boom boom boom and then

(01:42:12):
flipping around boom like you're not doing any of that crazy shit yeah freaking the two
guns that she had like i got confused they didn't make sense yeah like one was like a
clear shooter but then the other one was able to do like some special shit that i'm just

(01:42:32):
like wait but it's still it just looks like a regular gun i'm so confused that i'm able
to somewhat forgive because i feel like it's borderlands borderland guns are weird all
right okay but the way that she was like almost dancing with them in a way that didn't make
sense when she like roland was freaking on it just boom like down down the hatch like

(01:42:56):
yeah spray and pray like like exactly how we should have been with a freaking like machine
gun her just go like doing the freaking dances and just kind of shooting what wherever the
hell the way the one especially like when she like um like runs over to like this freaking
um i don't know what's it called like this object that's in the way to the point to where

(01:43:23):
like she can like lay down on it and slide over and shoot sideways it's so stupid and
i'm just like in the trailer i'm like okay yeah that's clearly a trailer shot they're
not gonna put that no okay they put it in the goddamn movie okay it was a lot in and
not good way no not not at all it yeah the choreography the fight choreography was wretched

(01:43:48):
yeah the special effects were no bueno no freaking every single time tina threw uh one
of her stuffed animals and exploded that did not look good nope uh man i'm trying to think
of anything redeeming about the effects this is one i i'm probably at like a 73 because

(01:44:19):
it wasn't like god-awful but it was it was close um i'm gonna be at a 70 or no okay i'll
be at a 71 and the only reason for that is because i feel that um i'm assuming well yeah
he had to be um the cgi on clap trap didn't look that bad like he actually looked pretty

(01:44:41):
good it did it looked really good uh the only part that like weirded me out about him is
when he like shifted into like shed his skin or whatever yeah that was weird yeah it was
funky i was like hold up like what the hell just happened what the hell am i watching
yeah all right next up we got music nothing special here nothing like absolutely nothing

(01:45:10):
like i'm at a five oh yeah dude i can match you there it's it was music nothing stood
out though like they didn't like add any like big songs to this did they because like from
the trailer i love yeah like i thought in the by the trailer that it was going to be
like try to rip off guardians of the galaxy for the especially for the song that they

(01:45:31):
were using but they didn't i'm like the hell yeah i don't feel like they needed to rip
off like guardians like i didn't think this whole soundtrack needed to be filled like
i was expecting a six maybe a seven like in terms of like the soundtrack but we got nothing

(01:45:53):
nope it's just like really basic scores and nothing memorable whatsoever yeah finally
to the only shining point of this movie the costumes were sick yeah the costumes were
freaking awesome oh my gosh dude freaking kreegs mask was freaking dope yeah dude that

(01:46:21):
looked bitchin um i love tiny tina's outfit she looked great um like even freaking uh
like uh um oh my god kevin hart's characters roland roland you know like it's a bare bones
military kind of guy outfit but it worked like i'm assuming it i hope it's as close

(01:46:45):
to the video games as you can get i mean i don't know how you can f that up let's find
out oh yeah that i mean they were pretty freaking spot on all right i gotta know how they did
with tannis i'm gonna look her up okay yeah tannis was actually spot on like pretty spot

(01:47:08):
on too yeah yeah they freaking age her up something awful yeah dude this is this was
not a jamie lee kurtis role no it was it was not honestly the way she is designed i'm kind

(01:47:30):
of getting like short hair uh katie perry yeah the you know this is like not me knocking
on jamie lee kurtis like because she's a beautiful woman and you know i like truly but maybe
it's it i am not used to seeing that much cleavage from jamie lee kurtis that like took

(01:47:51):
me back good lord right lover love jamie lee kurtis she's great she's beautiful but that
took me a minute i'm like okay not used to seeing that much from from lori strode uh
hello miss kurtis holy shit dude i thought i was the only one because i was i was like

(01:48:22):
dude i yeah i found it hard to keep eye contact i was like goodness gracious woman like is
that real when she put her coat on i'm like okay you know i'm back to what i'm used to
seeing from jamie lee kurtis but then she took it off you just shuffled your seat a

(01:48:45):
little bit oh my gosh no freaking joke i was like okay oh man oh damn but yeah doing like

(01:49:09):
that direct comparison probably not the right role for her yeah she didn't she she didn't
find with uh what she was given i feel um yeah uh krieg was on point well how was lillith
uh you know what pretty spot on i think it's it's it's weird seeing freaking cate blanchett

(01:49:40):
where um with orange hair i'm not gonna lie that that definitely took me a minute they
dude i think they made a mistake like not i mean cate blanchett's amazing oh yeah i don't
know if this was the right fit for her yeah no that's fair i i i feels yeah yeah i i really

(01:50:03):
don't have anything else to say about that like i told you she she um i mean i don't know how
much she even had to audition for this movie they might have just offered it to her when she showed
interest but i think it's hilarious that she's just like yeah you know what i was getting sick
and tired of sitting at home during covid so it was like the first script that uh came onto my

(01:50:24):
desk and i'm just like yeah let's do that let's do borderlands let's not do borderlands yeah
and i feel like she would have been a fit in like other roles i just i i'm i don't think that this
was the the role for her yeah i don't i i couldn't even like pick someone out for like a lilith fan

(01:50:51):
cast yeah no same here like yeah if i let's see if there's any i would have played the video games
maybe let's see if there's like anyone that like is like a fan favorite
okay elizabeth olson is a is a big one okay that's okay i can get behind that yeah karen gillin

(01:51:16):
okay yeah that oh i think i actually like karen gillin more for that role
yeah and like there there's some like really decent fan castings
like so oh the dude who killed it i know like they the dude who played uh luke cage
or freaking aldous hodge as as roland dude aldous hodge is rolling oh my god that would have been

(01:51:43):
great yeah i'm not seeing any other like big names let's see like a tiny tina like if there's any
yeah i'm curious oh frake we were just talking about her the frick the chick that plays uh uh
oh you didn't watch family switch emma meyers has she been in anything else uh nothing that i believe

(01:52:10):
you would have seen but she she kind of has that like cheery peppy vibe about her like i think she
could have played that role really well okay i think she would have killed that role actually
but anyway costume dude costumes getting out of the way 10 out of 10 like they were so good

(01:52:33):
i can absolutely give you a tone yeah that like i said the peak of the movie peak like all the
masks of the psychos were were sick dude yeah oh absolutely all right last up we got our own
personal scores so rose you want to take this one first uh yeah um so

(01:53:00):
uh yeah um so this like going into this movie i knew it was going to be bad i i really didn't
expect to enjoy it and that's exactly what happened um i feel that the cast for them at least
in some parts of the movie is trying like clearly it's for a paycheck but they i feel that there is

(01:53:25):
still some um some effort put in into some scenes but it's just everything else around them that
sucks the story is i feel it feels bare bones uh for borderlands and i haven't even played a goddamn
game in um in this video game franchise um the it it's just clear that um so much studio meddling

(01:53:51):
was put into this movie and i feel that it affected it it really did the the reshoots are clear as day
when you watch the movie um and i feel if they would have let elia roth do what he does best
we could have actually gotten a good adaptation of this video game um and it's it's unfortunate

(01:54:12):
to think of what could have been um but for what we got i
damn this is hard um i think i'm gonna be at a 64
i am not much better i'm at a 67 i i feel like it's hard like with with especially if you have a hard

(01:54:45):
time grasping the people that are familiar with the the material you're gonna have an even harder
time capturing the people that aren't and this is one of those situations that you're gonna have to
do and this is one of those situations that i

(01:55:06):
unlike the fallout series i left this wanting to play the games only because i wanted to get
get the taste of this movie or the out of my mouth like that is the only reason like this gave me no
desire whatsoever to go out and play the video game like this made me feel like oh maybe like

(01:55:27):
like this actually may have put the games further on the back burner than they were like further
down my list like it's it's rough but it's like i know that the gate the series is popular yeah
it's just they dropped the ball they dropped the ball so hard and like you said studio meddling

(01:55:50):
if the studios could get out of their own way like i feel like there's better franchises
like meant for kids oh yeah 100 there's a minecraft movie in the works that's perfect for kids
exactly borderlands is not for kids it's not for families yeah dude i can't i cannot wait to take

(01:56:12):
my kid to a minecraft movie see like even though i know it's probably gonna be the freaking don't
be the freaking dumbest shit i've ever seen in my life i'm pumped i am so pumped i feel that will be
when they decide to make a fortnight movie that will be the dumbest shit oh my gosh i i hope not

(01:56:34):
but we'll see how successful minecraft is yeah that will be the deciding factor but i
i i i set my expectations low for this movie like going in i was like i have a feeling this is not
gonna be good because of everything that i've heard i'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt

(01:56:55):
but damn mosquito
bitch um yeah i i'm at 67 it's it was just not it was not good
it was just not it was not good it with how with how low i set my expectations it and it failed to

(01:57:16):
meet even those like you know it's freaking rough oh yeah 100 yeah all right going through
the scores real quick because that wraps up this breakdown starting off with story we ended up
sitting at a 67 writing is sitting at a 65 the acting uh one of the higher points of this movie

(01:57:43):
sitting at a 73 the character development was basically non-existent this is sitting at a 66.5
the effects were no bueno sitting at a 72 the music was as average as average can get sitting
at a five out of ten the costumes were the absolute highlight of this movie sitting at a

(01:58:09):
10 out of 10 and then our personal score ended up averaging out to a 65.5 so with that the final
all bros all bros letter grade for borderlands has come out to a c minus
dude i feel we're gonna get some shit for it even getting a c in i know

(01:58:35):
dude we're gonna catch some shit for this i have a feeling oh how close it's a pretty mid
c minus two oh shit dude all right out of let's see out of all the c minus movies so we have 14

(01:58:55):
c minus movies this is sitting right in the middle at seven seven out of 14
yeah this is sitting at a at a 72.37 percent oh the costume saved this dude the yeah that's

(01:59:17):
the same this that makes sense oh shit dude oh man this is wild um you want to hear what it's above
or what's below first i gotta hear above all right this is sitting above rebel moon

(01:59:38):
okay yeah i can definitely agree with that yep this is above star wars the last jedi
i think i can i can agree with that it's above madame web oh thank god okay thank god
it is above cats okay and here's the wild one it's above zack steiner's justice league but that's not

(02:00:06):
our fault that that's not let's let's say just for shits and giggles joss sweden's justice league
because i mean they're like right next to each other okay all right go in the opposite direction
it's below morbius yeah i'm gonna disagree with that but all right it's below x-men dark phoenix

(02:00:31):
yeah okay i can agree with that it is below rebel moon the scar giver uh yeah i'm gonna disagree
with that i hate it so much yeah uh and then it is
uh below tom and jerry
okay i i can accept that one

(02:00:54):
yeah it dude all i wanted for it was wow all i wanted was for it to rank above madame web
so thank god yeah it was above madame web by

(02:01:18):
2 i'll take it yeah 2.2 i want to say awesome but yeah so anyway wow that is where borderlands it
is breaking i can't wait to hear the hatred i'm if we get any i'm excited to hear this i'm pumped
too dude i'm so pumped oh man but let this go to show that we will do whatever is suggested yeah

(02:01:47):
like dj you better listen to this episode because yeah you better freaking listen to this episode
this episode was for you yeah and i'm assuming that he watched it too so yeah i want to hear what his
grade was i bet you he didn't you mother that's true yeah because he probably would have been on

(02:02:08):
this episode if that was the case yep dj you son of a
yep dj you son of a all right well with that that wraps up this week's uh this week's episode
uh if you like this one want to check out more of our stuff be sure to follow and subscribe

(02:02:31):
wherever you're listening podcasts we are also on all social media facebook twitter instagram
tiktok linkedin all the places at the all bros uh you can check out all of our episodes and bonus
videos that we do as on uh on youtube uh just search at the all bros we found that out last

(02:02:54):
week with our uh our guest douglas burton yeah we found out that we're not very easily searchable
on youtube yeah so you have to search at the all bros um and then you'll find us but yeah with that

(02:03:14):
uh you can find links to everything that we do tinyurl.com forward slash the all bros
uh next week we will be breaking down twisters um i haven't seen it yet rose has and he
actually enjoyed it yeah i had a good time never seen the original and i feel that that actually uh

(02:03:39):
made it better for me personally yeah so yeah you guys can look forward to that
next week until then this has been the all bros podcast i'm caleb and i'm jonathan and we will
catch you guys next week deuces see uh i was gonna do the herbert voice but then i stopped midway and

(02:04:04):
and i just f'd it all up my bad

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Ep. 335: Borderlands Breakdown

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