Ep. 337: The Crow Breakdown

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
What is up bros? I'm Caleb. And I'm Jonathan. And we are a couple of bros on a mission to

(00:28):
give you guys the most detailed movie reviews out there with as little bias as possible.
Welcome to the all bros. This week on the podcast we have a couple items. I've actually
watched movies this week despite. It's not as it's not as much as I may have promised

(00:49):
to watch or may have like said I was going to watch. I am still playing Breath of the
Wild and that is occupying a good chunk of my time. Hey man I broke the promise that
I made last week. I said I was going to watch Jackass 4 and 4.5 and I did not. But next
week I'm not going to say that I'm actually going to but shooting for that. Yeah well

(01:14):
if you guys if you guys know us or are new and you choose to take what we say at face
value that's more on you than it is us. Say say your expectations on. Yes. Set your expectations
of us at a at a reasonable level and you'll you'll only be disappointed like I'd say 70

(01:40):
percent of the time outside of that. I mean good. I would have put a higher. I know. Yeah
but uh yeah so anyway so yeah we'll get into weekly watch talk about what we've been watching
this week and then we'll get into our breakdown of one of unfortunately my more anticipated

(02:01):
movies of the year outside of like Deadpool and Wolverine because I was like obviously
number one. Yeah he was hype in this movie of after the trip. I was dude. The freaking
trailers looked sick. But anyway. Spoiler warning for how that are this episode is going

(02:22):
to go. So before we go and ruin anything else let's say we get on into this. Let's do it.
Hell yeah. Hey this is Mike E.T. and Grant and Billy and we are failing in Hollywood.
Yeah you're listening to the All Bros podcast with Caleb and Jonathan Rose or just Rose.

(02:46):
Is it Rose or Jonathan. I don't know. Caleb calls him Rose. He introduces himself Jonathan.
It's a thing but he's as sweet as a rose. He's a very nice person. The only. Yes. I
love that our reviews are just fine. They're fine. They're mediocre reviews. They're fine.
I'm not going to argue but I just find that someone I find it funny that someone finally

(03:11):
pointed it out. Yeah. All right. Getting into our first segment this week weekly watch.
Rose and I both watched a couple of movies this week or you watch a couple. I watched
one but anyway. So why don't you tell everyone what you watch this week. All right. So.

(03:36):
It took me. God how old is this movie like almost 30 years now. But I finally watched
Beetlejuice. I don't know why it took me this long for you know how much I love these kind
of movies. I love Tim Burton. He's a great director. I love his style but I just never
got around to watching Beetlejuice. Finally watched it. You know with Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

(03:59):
coming out. I was going to say this Friday but you know this gets released on Monday
so it's already out when you listen to this. But considering how excited you know I find
it funny that I am so freaking excited for that movie after the trailers and I've been
listening to a lot of the Broadway musical Beetlejuice and I've seen some clips from

(04:20):
that. So like that just got me so much into Beetlejuice that I'm like you know what I
should probably watch the movie like the original movie that started. That's probably a good
idea. I finally did and you know what I now understand why it has such a following. I
didn't love it as much as I'm sure a lot of people do but I do think it's a good movie.

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Like it's very Tim Burton aesthetic which is a good thing. Like his style is definitely
there and I want to say this was like the first movie I like kicked off his type of
art style because this came out in 1988. Definitely one of the I don't know where I was going

(05:02):
with that. Probably one of it seems like one of the first that started to show that style
off. Yeah but like honestly the only thing I have wrong with this movie is just it took
me a little bit to get into the story but once I did like once we enter the afterlife
I feel this movie just takes off and it's a great time for the rest of the movie. Michael

(05:27):
Keaton shocker is like amazing as Beetlejuice. It's unfortunate that he's only on screen
I think for like 17 minutes but for story wise I understand. It makes sense. Winona
Ryder is fantastic especially for how young she was here. It's like it's so crazy seeing

(05:48):
her in like one of her first acting roles and comparing to where she is now it's awesome
but it's crazy. Freaking oh my god who played Mrs. McKelster's mom. Catherine O'Hara. Thank
you. Why did I forget her name for a minute? What is wrong with me? Catherine O'Hara she

(06:09):
is fantastic in this. I did not know that Alc Baldwin was in this movie like because
I don't think I remembered the poster a lot and the 4k poster is this poster just a Beetlejuice
and so like when I saw that Alc Baldwin was in this I'm like oh shit that's awesome but

(06:30):
no he's great in it. Everyone's great it's just it took me a minute to get into the story
but like I said after that I was fully on board. I love Tim Burton's art style it's
so crazy and like out there but I absolutely love it and I just I love all the practical
effects that he brings to his movies especially this one like it was freaking insane and I

(06:57):
I actually love that I knew it going in because I found it more funny is when Michael Keaton
Beetlejuice is like giving his speech to Alc Baldwin and I'm sorry let me find out her
name really quickly because she was fantastic and I just forgot her name. So when he's given
his speech to Alc Baldwin and Gina Davis and they you know exit the the model of the town

(07:25):
that's in the Dietz home he's like oh where did you go freaking out and everything and
he kicks over one of the plastic trees and it wasn't supposed to fall it was supposed
to stay there it was to say a stage error and after that happens he turns around he's
just like nice fucking model. Like I can't believe that was improv by Michael Keaton

(07:52):
but like the fact that I knew that it just made it that much more funny. Dude Michael
Keaton is an absolute gem. He is oh my god I yeah I cannot wait to see him return to
this character when I go see this. I think he knows what we're all going there for and

(08:12):
so I pray that Michael Keaton's in this more. I read that it's the same amount of screen
time. God damn it. But hey you know if the story's good and it makes sense why he's in
it you know for the same amount of time I'm totally cool with that I trust Tim Burton.
But I found it funny that someone asked Winona Ryder like why it took so long to make a Beetle

(08:39):
Juice 2 and her answer was the best she said oh we're waiting for Jenny Ortega to be born.
Sorry, Jenna Ortega not Jenny Ortega. That's perfect. Right. I was looking I while you were
looking all up some of the stuff I was looking at Tim Burton's directory like are just the

(09:04):
things that he's directed. So his first thing that he's credited with is a short from 1971.
Oh shit. And so he from between there and 1982 it was nothing but shorts. So he like

(09:27):
he had like. Yeah. So so between 1971 and 1982. So was that 11 years. He was doing just
shorts. Then in 83 he did Hansel and Gretel a TV movie. And then in 84 he directed Frankenweenie.

(09:49):
OK. And then his first like I'd say his first like theatrical release was Pee Wee's Big
Adventure. I love that movie. Yeah. And then he did two two show like one episode of two
different shows. And then his his second movie was Beetle Juice. OK. Oh yeah. Awesome. And

(10:17):
then he fricking then he just fricking went ham because then it was his Beetle Juice.
And then like like one after another fricking Beetle Juice then the Batman Edward Scissor
Hands Batman Returns and like fricking wild fricking nuts. I mean I get it people people

(10:38):
love his aesthetic and I'm I'm on board with it. Have you ever seen the original Frankenweenie.
Yes. Yes I have. What are your thoughts. I I liked it. I did too. I mean I love the I
love the animated version more of course. And I'm glad that you know Tim Burton was

(10:59):
able to actually create what he wanted Frankenweenie to originally be. But yeah no no the original
short film was pretty good. Yeah it has like it has a certain charm to it. It does. Yeah.
No I definitely agree. So with Beetlejuice hope fans don't kill me for this but I'm going

(11:26):
to give it a stream it. I watched it at home and I think it's perfectly fine watching it
at home. Yes there are you know some things that happen in the afterlife that are like
super super cool but I don't think that they need to be seen on the big screen personally.
I'm sure with Beetlejuice Beetlejuice I'm going to feel differently like I'm going to be like
oh shit like I wish I saw that and freaking IMAX. I don't know. We'll see. Just because

(11:50):
I I don't know what like what you're referring to but I'm assuming it's like the stop motion
looking stuff right. It's that and like how the land of the dead is represented. OK. Yeah
I I have a feeling we may change our minds just so we could like have that direct comparison

(12:13):
between Beetlejuice Beetlejuice and this. Yeah. That's fair. But yeah I'm actually going to
try and watch this before I go see Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Hell yeah. They. Yeah. I enjoyed
it. I'm glad that I finally watched it and I understand why it has such a cult following.

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Next up for me I watched one of my favorite reboots of a franchise and that is The Muppets.
I love this movie to death. Most people when they say oh like you know the Muppet movie
or Muppets Take Manhattan like those are the movies that like were either their first introduction

(12:58):
to The Muppets or like what made them love The Muppets. I mean I've known what them who
The Muppets were since I was a kid but I feel like I never like really dived a lot into
them like you know like I saw I saw The Muppets Take Manhattan. I saw that Oz movie that they
made with The Muppets. I don't know if you saw that. No. OK. I specifically remember

(13:22):
them doing an Oz version of The Muppets. So. Do you want to hear something freaking crazy.
I cannot say for sure that I've seen any Muppets movie. Not even this one. Not even this one.
I've seen I've seen bits and pieces. So I know. So what I know about this is that Jason

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Seagal's character and then this little Muppet at the top next to the I don't know his name
the meeper dude beaker beaker. Yeah. He's not wrong. That's all he does. Oh yeah. I

(14:07):
know that they were raised as brothers. Yeah. And I am familiar with their song and I know
that he has like a like a fantasy dream or whatever where he is a human and he's played
by Jim Parsons. Dude I thought I did that. I won an Oscar. That was so cool. Yeah. Outside

(14:27):
of that I don't believe I've watched anything else because I don't recall. Really. Yeah.
I don't recall seeing Amy Adams like any of her performance in this movie. I mean honestly
if you do want to like actually start watching The Muppets this is a perfect place to start.
Like you said I've seen like like you know and now think about I don't think I ever actually

(14:52):
fully watched all of Muppets Take Manhattan like I saw like bits and pieces. I know I
watched the full special. I've seen some things from the Christmas Carol but I feel like this
was the movie that like I watched from start to finish of The Muppets and after watching
I'm like OK like I finally understand why The Muppets means so much to people like I

(15:13):
finally get it because these characters are freaking great. And kudos to Jason Seagal
for getting this movie off the ground web because The Muppets were acquired by Disney
in I think 2004 and it took a while for them to actually like get a new movie going and

(15:33):
Jason Seagal presented this movie. Disney really really liked it. And so he was able
to because I want to say he's he's a huge Muppets fan. And so the fact that he got to
like probably like make one of his dream movies and star in it that's just freaking awesome.
And guy knocked out of the park watching them like have to come together to save The Muppets

(15:58):
studio super super cool idea of like I know they get the band back together storyline
is like done to death but I feel like this one made it fresh again and it was really
funny watching where The Muppets ended up after their stardom ended. So like I was the

(16:19):
movie that followed this one The Muppets most wanted. I don't I actually haven't seen that
one fully either. I need to like it's probably sad that this is like the only Muppets movie
I've seen fully besides. Well the always one doesn't count because I was a TV special but
for how much I love this movie and it made me realize why these characters are so great

(16:40):
and mean so much to people. I would love to see this on the big screen if I ever got the
chance. So The Muppets five dollar Tuesday. Yeah dude the most. So I I never watched The
Muppets growing up like I I've never seen any of the original show. I've only seen like
listen like bits and pieces man. I'm like the most same. Yeah. So the most of the of

(17:05):
the show that I've watched is the I guess the reboot that they released on Disney plus
and that's when Iris like started TV. And so I was like OK cool. So now she's paying
attention. So I threw on The Muppets. She liked it a little bit. Not enough for me to
be like OK let's keep watching it because it was more. I found it annoying and I'm still

(17:30):
dude I'm still of the mindset. Some of like I mean obviously some of like the big characters
I know the difference between The Muppets and Frickin Sesame Street. Some of the more
vague characters I'm like I couldn't quite place you. Damn. Like I always confused who
I always think that the the the blue guy is part of The Muppets. Oh Gonzo. Yeah. You think

(17:54):
Gonzo is part of Sesame Street. He's not Grover. Is he is he part of Muppets. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So I know what the nose. Whoops. Yeah dude you're thinking of Grover. That's right. That's
right. He's the one I know they both start with. But there is a huge difference between

(18:20):
Grover and Gonzo. But Gonzo is really not that blue. And isn't Gonzo the one that also
dresses like a superhero. Yeah. OK. Well oh yeah Grover does too doesn't he. Oh does he.
Dude son of a bitch. Yeah. All right I guess they should have been more distinctive with

(18:40):
these blue characters. OK I need to look it up. I think how they didn't make Elmo green
or people would have really gotten him and Kermit confused even though Kermit is a frickin
frog but still. Yeah dude I don't. Yeah. Frickin two blue people with weird like they're both

(19:05):
blue people with weird noses. And it says like if you frickin Google Grover Sesame Street
it says Muppet character. No no. Not a Muppet character. So anyway I get the Muppets and
the characters of Sesame Street confused quite often as you can tell. You know what I'm not

(19:30):
going to give you a hard time for that. I get it. As long as OK as long as you know
that Kermit the frog piggy Miss Piggy and Fozzie the bear are the Muppet are part of
the Muppets not Sesame Street. Those I feel like are the three that if you don't know
like what the hell is wrong with you. I know Kermit and Miss Piggy those are like the big

(19:55):
two. I also know what's his face the one in the trash can. That's not the Muppets that
says. You're thinking of Oscar the Grouch. Oh god damn it. Who the hell am I thinking
of. Like they look exactly alike. Are you thinking of like animal the drummer from

(20:18):
Muppets. I might be the same color. I know I might I might be thinking of the same. Oh
my gosh dude. They're so like in my mind. Are they both like are they both Jim Henson.
I believe they are. Yeah I think both of them are Jim Henson properties. OK. That helps
me a little bit. Not much but a little bit. Wait I want to make sure. But you know who

(20:47):
I always get a Fonzo confused with. Who. Freaking elf. I hate you. I just want you to know that.

(21:10):
You know what. Fair enough dude. OK. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not the biggest fan of myself right
now either. All jokes man. All jokes of course. Holy shit. OK. So yeah. I bet you some people
are just like ripping their hair out right now. I don't know any like big Muppets fans

(21:32):
but I wish that I did because just yeah. I feel that they'd want to throw their phone
after hearing you think that Oscar the Grouch is a frickin Muppet. Dude honestly. Hold on.
If you look up Oscar the Grouch it says Muppet character but he's part of Sesame Street not

(21:55):
the Muppets. There's a difference between being a Muppet and part of the Muppets. That's
what Jim Henson called basically all of his animatron or characters from Sesame Street
to shit. What is that. Fraggle Rock. Was that what it was called. Dude. Let's not throw

(22:19):
in Fraggle Rock. Let's not throw in more Muppets. OK. I'm already getting confused as it is.
I've never seen Fraggle Rock so I can't even tell my own those characters. And you said
did you say that Jim Henson had something to do with with both. Oh yeah. So he did both
Sesame Street and the Muppets. Oh my hell. There's there's not much of an excuse but

(22:47):
because I didn't watch freaking Sesame Street as a kid either. Really. Deadass. That's shock.
That shocks me. I thought like having known you I thought your mom would be OK with you
watching Sesame Street like there was really nothing like bad. It wasn't. I think I just

(23:08):
I think I just by the time my mom allowed I wouldn't even say allowed us because that
would have been completely fine. I don't think it's anything I'll have to ask her about that.
It's like so I did you ever like me Street. Yeah. Like did you let us because like I remember
like the shows that she used to turn on for me and my brothers were all like very different

(23:33):
like all of mine were like Disney based. So she had she turned on like Winnie the Pooh
or classic. Yeah. Or just just classic Disney. Like classic Disney was what was what she
turned on for me in terms of like baby shows. And then it was like Blues Clues like those

(23:54):
types of shows. So she mostly stuck to those two networks Nickelodeon and Disney Channel
or Disney. I wouldn't say she stuck to it because I I don't know. Like it was mostly
that. And then we got to like when Koi came around his his jam like was also Disney. But

(24:15):
what was his he really liked Franklin the Turtle. Oh yeah. Classic. And he like I think
that was like his big show. And then Bronson when he came around like early 2000s he really

(24:36):
liked Little Bill. Oh yeah. I'm a little bill. Yeah. A show that probably hasn't aged well.
Yeah. Oh Bill Cosby. I mean you could say the same thing about Fat Albert. So fair.
Totally fair. But yeah. So like we all had like our shows. And so I don't remember any

(25:03):
of us watching like Muppets or Sesame Street. Like I don't think any of us watched those.
Like the Muppets I can understand a little bit just because. Yeah. Muppets is like a
little like slightly older audience. Yeah exactly. Yeah. It's a little more mature than
Sesame Street. But I am a little I'm just shocked about Sesame Street because I thought

(25:25):
like every kid every millennial has seen at least one episode of Sesame Street. If if
we watch Sesame Street it was never like my mom always kind of made a big deal or like
not like made a big deal about it but just like would do something special for shows

(25:48):
that we used to watch. So like Winnie the Pooh I had like Winnie the Pooh sheets and
blankets and stuff like that. Same thing with like other shows that we we watched like I
remember fricking like when we were into Power Rangers we had Power Rangers like fricking
underwear. Dude I'm glad my mom wasn't the only one that did that. What like sheets and

(26:13):
underwear. Well yeah. Because fricking like when it came to like the next big thing that
I was you know into whether it be like Spider-Man or Hulk or the Incredibles for that like Christmas
my mom would always get me like the fricking comforter set. Yeah that was my mom's go to
move. Yeah like Koi had fricking Spider-Man sheets and we were very particular over who

(26:39):
had whose sheets. Like we would get pissed like those are my sheets. Like we'd get we'd
get fricking livid about it. Oh that's great. Yeah but we also like we also like different
like textures like Koi like those like those fuzzy cotton sheet covers. Yeah. And I like

(27:02):
the the smoother ones like the I don't even know what they're called like the polyester
ones I guess. Okay. So like we had very different like feels and so anytime I had to use Koi's
like because his were like the only clean sheets I would almost refuse to sleep in them.

(27:23):
I don't like it. It makes my skin feel weird. No offense man but you're sounding like Kyle's
cousin Kyle from South Park. You know what fair enough fair enough. But yeah. These sheets

(27:48):
give my skin a rash. Okay I never got like a rash but no it wasn't like it it wasn't
like they made my skin feel like itchy or anything. It was like they were like too warm.
All right. I guess you like I can understand. It's like he had those those thicker sheets

(28:14):
and so when you lay in them it was like oh like it you're so hot and I like I run warm.
So anytime we have like like like those cotton sheets like I want to freaking die. You're
just like Briel why did you do this to me. I know dude I freaking sweat. I sweat like

(28:37):
a pig like if I'm in any other if I'm in sheets that don't breathe like it's freaking it's
it's it's nuts. But yeah that was my mom's go to move with the comforter set. I love
it. Yeah. But yeah I'll have to ask her about Muppets and Sesame Street like yeah I'm very

(29:03):
interested now. Yeah definitely let me know she says I'm wondering if it's like the same
situation with Iris where she's just like she wasn't into it. So we stopped watching
it. No clue for. Yeah. I'm moving on to what I watched this week. I only watched one thing
and I watched Jackpot the John Cena Aquafina movie on Amazon Prime bro. Surprisingly good.

(29:33):
It was a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Yeah. Caleb is definitely convinced
me to watch this movie now. So I'm excited to check it out. It's it's surprisingly funny.
Like like I said I thought this was going to be like a cheap stupid like whatever comedy
like this is is really freaking funny and it has some of my like favorite aspects of

(29:56):
this like just it had like creative kind of like purge style kills. Love that. Which was
which was super fun. And what I like about it is John Cena's characters like super concerned
about everyone's safety like he'll forget put people down but he'll start like he'll
run up to them and like turn them on their side and he's like we don't want to choke

(30:19):
on their tongue. And so he does like weird shit like that and Aquafina is just like let's
get the hell out of here. And it's it's pretty funny. It's a it's a really good time. So
yeah I don't want to spoil too much of it just for anyone that does want to watch it.
I feel like I already spoiled a shit ton for you before we even started recording. But

(30:40):
it's so dude honestly you telling me like in aspects about John Cena's character like
makes me want to watch him more. So trust me you didn't spoil it for me. Yeah but it's
fun. It's really fun. And yeah it's got a lot of like really good bits in it. I'd say
like if I had to take a guesstimate on how many of the jokes land I'd put it in like

(31:03):
the high 80s. Like I'd say about 85 percent of the jokes land. That's really good. Yeah.
Like I said I could have been like I could have been tired when I watched it. But I mean
honestly that makes certain comedies so much more fun. It does. And then I'm like I feel

(31:28):
like such an idiot sometimes because I'll do that where I'll watch a comedy when I'm
really tired. And then I'm like oh my gosh like showing my wife I'm just like oh my gosh
like I need to like check this movie out. It's so freaking funny. And then all this the same
bits over it. I'm like wait a minute. Yeah. Like oh no. Did this suck. But yeah it's it's

(32:00):
a good time if you get a chance to watch it. Highly recommend. Which is why I'm going to
be giving this a stream it enough for any other reason is it's it does not need to be
seen on the big screen. Like there's nothing in this that's like oh my goodness. Like it's
stuff that's you're perfectly fine watching it at home. Fair enough. But yeah that's all

(32:23):
I watched this week. Hell yeah. All right. Well with that let's say we move on to our
breakdown this week. Yeah. Kayla's favorite movie of 2024. Shut up.

(33:01):
All righty. Getting into this week's breakdown. If you guys are new to our breakdown system
we have split movies into eight different categories that we individually score to come
to a final Albrose letter grade. The eight categories that we will be scoring are story
writing acting character development effects music costumes and they will give it our own

(33:27):
personal score at the very end. All those numbers get magically added up and spit through
our algorithm and give us a letter grade to compare this movie to others of a similar
grade. So without further ado if you have not seen the crow you're probably fine. Rose
is about to spoil the entire frickin movie for you. I just thought did we even say that

(33:52):
we were doing the crow at the beginning of the episode because I don't remember. I don't
know if we did. Shit. OK. Surprise. Shitty surprise. But yeah. I mean well I mean it's
the the title of the episode. I know they'd be able to tell from that. All right. So that's
true. But yeah I could ruin my bit. No I like we usually don't miss that. That no just I

(34:19):
was thinking about that. I'm like oh shit I don't even think that we're just like bagging
on this movie and I don't think we even said the title. Yeah. Yeah. So if you have not
seen this movie Rose is about to spoil the whole thing for you and you're probably fine.
You know what I'm I was telling Caleb this that at least with this movie it got us interested

(34:44):
in watching the original. Yeah. So and this and this movie did so poorly that we're going
to be able to stream it for free. I legitimately almost postponed having us do this episode

(35:05):
because I saw that is like oh the crow comes to streaming due to bad performance of the
reboot. I was like great. Like now we don't have to pay to go see it. And then they're
like no but it's the original that that that's coming to streaming. And I'm like ah man did
they say what streaming service. Oh that's a good question. Let's find out. Nineteen

(35:33):
ninety four looks like it's on Paramount Plus. Oh yeah. OK. So yeah. So if you guys want
to check out the OG the crow there you go. The crow has a shit ton of movies. Yeah. I
remember seeing that. It's freaking insane. Yeah. The crow city of angels the crow salvation

(35:55):
just straight up crow the crow wicked prayer. That's all I've seen so far. That's pretty
nuts. Yeah. I'll have to I'll have to message Riley from or Mr. Plunge about that because
any movies that have more than four or I think it's either three or four he throws in his

(36:24):
movie wheel. So oh hell yeah. So he may need to watch those movies. Yes. Oh yeah. I'd love
to see him react to those. Oh man dude some of those movies have some crazy casts. Do
I. I was shocked to find out the freaking Ernie Hudson was in the first crow Ernie Hudson.

(36:47):
Yeah. Mr. Yeah. I'm pretty. OK. You know what I want to make sure here. I swear that he
is Mr. Winston Zedemore himself. Yep. Yeah he is. Geez. I love that his picture. There's
a twenty twenty two movie called the crow. Huh. Forget I love that Ernie Hudson's picture

(37:14):
is him from a comic con and his Ghostbusters jumpsuit. That makes me so happy. That is
awesome. That is crazy. Dude the freaking cast for some of these crow movies is ridiculous.
I I honestly will say I look forward to watching the original to get the taste the bad taste

(37:37):
out of my mouth from this remake. Yeah. And if honestly if that OG ones good enough I'll
probably get the others like I remember seeing Ernie Hudson comment on it and saying you
know like Brandon Ralph lost his life making this movie and I don't understand why you're
remaking it and just all the way in Lee Brandon. I'm sorry Superman. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

(38:04):
I had a little like that because I freaking love Brandon Ralph. I'm sorry. My bad. I apologize.
Brandon Lee. It's unfortunate that he lost his life making the original crow. And so
yeah I know Ernie Hudson was definitely not game for them making this remake and now I
understand why. I mean most most remakes of movies you don't really understand why they

(38:29):
need to even when they say oh it's a reimagining it's still a goddamn remake. I don't care
if you call it a reimagining. There are some you know diamonds in the rut looking at child's
play. But this one definitely spoiler where it joins the group of like yeah even though
I haven't even seen the original I know it's better than this one. In some aspects I'll

(38:55):
say yes. In others I'm probably going to say no. There are some aspects of this movie that
I feel are really good and I'm kind of excited to get into those. I'm interested to see your
score because I feel we for the most part I think me and Caleb are going to be about
the same but I think on some stuff we might differ a little bit. Yeah we'll see. We'll

(39:16):
see. Yeah. Yeah. This is going to be interesting. But yeah we'll be posted that spoiler warning
now. So if you listen beyond this point and anything spoiled for you you'll be fine. So
let's get started in our favorite segment that we like to call reading with Rose. Right.

(39:36):
So Eric an addict with a troubled childhood struggles with life and nightmares at a rehabilitation
center. Shelly a musician with similar issues receives a video text from her friend Zadie.
Is it Zadie or Zadie? I can't remember. Freaking Zadie. Dude the weird movies or the names
in this movie were freaking ridiculous. Her parents weren't keen on Zadie. They had to

(39:58):
do Zadie. Would it be edgy? Like I said ridiculous. Her friend Zadie that incriminates. OK I'm
going to start over with that sentence. Shelly a musician with similar issues received a
video text from her friend Zadie that incriminates Vincent Rogue a crime lord posing as a musical

(40:19):
or aristocrat. Crat sorry. Freaking Disney film stuck in my head. Yeah when you said
that I was like nope. I hate that movie for me always thinking that it's supposed to say
aristocrat not aristocrat. Love that movie for everything else except for that reason.

(40:45):
That would be hilarious if you were in a professional setting and be like oh he's just
some big time aristocrat. What'd you say? Excuse me Mr. Rose do you want to repeat that?
No I do not. Moving on. Using to save the video despite knowing that possessing it would

(41:06):
mean her death Shelly attempts to go into hiding but is immediately pursued by for some reason
that I didn't catch on to that. That I didn't even notice that she saved the video. Yeah
what was I paying attention to that? Oh my gosh dude. Freaking bad decision. Well they

(41:27):
were going to come after her either way. Yeah. Like they were like I think ultimately like
that's what it came down to. They were going to kill her either way because Zadie is a
bad friend. Yeah because unless it's like sent through Snapchat no one's going to know
that you saved the damn video. Yeah but well so they found on Zadie's phone that she sent

(41:51):
it to Shelly. Oh okay. And so they're like okay we need to track her down so they were
going to kill her either way just to freaking tie up loose ends. But I just didn't realize
that it was implied so much that she saved it to her phone. Yeah whatever. Let's see
so so choosing to save the video despite knowing that possessing it would mean her death Shelly

(42:15):
attempts to go into hiding but is immediately pursued by Rogues henchmen. They break their
pursuit when Shelly is arrested for drug possession. Zadie is captured and interrogated by Rogue.
He reveals that centuries ago he had made a pact with the devil to send innocent souls
to hell in exchange for eternal life. Okay. I got to watch the original because I'm curious

(42:39):
if like it like the character is the same whatever. He forces Zadie to kill herself
by whispering incantations in her ear. Shelly is sent to the same rehab center where Eric
is situated. The two become smitten with each other and bond over time. When Marion Rogues
right hand suddenly appears at the institution Shelly panics and convinces Eric to help her

(43:03):
escape. They take refuge in the vacant home of one of Shelly's friends and the two quickly
fall in love and attempt to live a carefree to carefree life together but are soon found
by Rogues men and murdered. I will say that that scene was very hard to watch watching
them like freaking get murdered with the plastic bags over their heads. That was that was effed.

(43:26):
Dude it was intense. It was super intense. Like the acting was really good from both
of them in that scene I have to say. Hell yeah. Because dude I bet you they were kind
of suffocating a little bit. Yeah like seriously. Eric awakens in a purgatory like a railyard

(43:48):
where Kronos a spirit guide explains that Eric will have to kill Rogue to be reunited
with Shelly. Revived and possessing the ability to heal from injuries Eric visits Sophia,
Shelly's mother who was present with Marion at the rehab center. Sophia reveals that she
made a deal with Rogue wealth in exchange for Shelly's soul. After Eric leaves Rogue

(44:08):
visits Sophia to inquire about Eric but forces her to jump off the roof when dissatisfied
with her answers. Yeah when he like started walk you know after he whispered to her and
you know he walked down just like yeah she's gonna jump. Like the way that the like shot
was panning out and like it kept like kind of going a little further as he was walking
away I'm like yeah like come on we all know she's gonna jump and we're gonna yeah. They

(44:34):
made it so freaking obvious too. Like they didn't even like try to hide it. Like it was
it was a freaking like they should have centered him and then they should have like panned
over to the like to the side a little bit like right before BAM because then it would
have wouldn't have been or it wouldn't have felt quite as obvious. But yeah like the fact

(44:56):
that he was on the left hand side of the screen walking towards you and you got a perfectly
clear view of the sidewalk behind you it's like yeah duh. Yeah. Say Eric after Eric after
Eric leaves Rogue visits Sophia to inquire about Eric but forces her to jump off the
roof when dissatisfied with her answers. Eric proceeds to hunt down and kill several Rogue's

(45:19):
men and find Shelly's phone with the incriminating video revealing that Rogue had previously
forced Shelly to kill a woman. Suddenly doubting his love for Shelly Eric loses his ability
to heal and is again killed. Return to the afterlife Eric makes a deal with Kronos to
take Shelly's place in hell in exchange for another chance to kill Rogue. Rogue learns
of Eric's supernatural abilities and orders Marion to lure him to them in order to seize

(45:43):
Eric's powers. Eric tracks Marion to an opera house savagely killing all of Rogue's men
to reach her. Marion reluctantly discloses Rogue's location before Eric decapitates her.
Rogue manages to subdue Eric and attempts to steal his powers before Eric is able to
transport them both to the afterlife where he quickly finishes Rogue and save Shelly's
soul. After a brief reunion between the lovers Shelly is revived on the night of their deaths

(46:08):
and mourns for Eric after Kronos disguised as a medic tells her that he gave his life
for her. Eric accepts his fate content in his belief that their souls will one day find
each other again.
It's the perfect way to sum up this movie.
Dude it was so rough. Let's get straight into this dude. The story structure of the first

(46:38):
half sucked. Yeah. It was so bad. 100%. They have this situation where I don't feel like
they establish things quite right. Like what they do is, like you see this scene of a young

(47:04):
Eric walking down this road and he sees a horse that's injured and has barbed wire and
stuff and it's jumping back and forth between young Eric and scars guard Eric. And you're
just like, it was jarring. I thought because he kept looking to the house where all the

(47:27):
crows were. I was like, okay, so he's already like crowfied or like, is this like he's having
flashbacks to like when he'd be like to something like what's the deal here? And no, it's just
that was young him and then the completely unrelated scene in the other, like when it

(47:47):
was scars guard and I'm like, this is odd jumping back and forth. And then it cuts to
and turns out he's in some fricking like rehab facility and we don't even like see him until
Shelley gets there. And I'm like, that doesn't track. Yeah. No, I will say I didn't think

(48:08):
that I get what you're saying with like the whole like, Oh, kind of just seems like he's
already crowfied at the beginning. I feel, I mean, they didn't explain this well, but
I feel that just for like the, the, and you know, I'll get to this with writing, because
I actually really liked, I will say I did like the monologue that he's giving at the

(48:31):
beginning of this movie. When he's explaining, you know, like, you know, what death can do
to somebody and all this stuff. I feel that even before the Kronos explains what the crow
means, when it comes to death, I feel that like all those crows being there, I, that

(48:53):
just represented death to me. So I didn't think as him being already the crow as a child
or crow fight is, did you say crowfied? Yeah. Okay. I like that word. I like that word.
But like it is a very weird opening because like you get like this, like, like I said,
like really powerful monologue that he's giving because like, he's like, what do you say?

(49:16):
I'm just like, yeah, it's so fricking true. I'm really like connecting to what you're
saying. But then it's like bouncing back and forth between young and present day Eric.
And I'm just like, okay, so you get this, this young Eric that's dealing with the death
of his, I'm assuming a horse that he was very close to and he's trying to save. Yeah. Which

(49:40):
they never established this. No, it could have easily been a parent. Yeah. No, like,
like seriously. Um, and then fricking like, doesn't it like after he like slices his hand
on the barbed wire, doesn't it like fully commit to him being an adult? Like, isn't
that like the last we see? Yeah, pretty much. Okay. Like it. So what threw me with that

(50:03):
scene is that it kept jumping, like when it was jumping to him as an adult, it looked
like he was inside a trailer. Yeah, I did. So I think that's why I was thinking, okay,
is this just some other dude or like what's, what's the deal here? Yeah, that's fair. Like,
is he having a nightmare because he's sensing this death? Cause that's what made me think

(50:24):
that he was all crowfied. Like it was the crow inside him that was like sensing the
death that was happening or that was occurring outside his door. Yeah. Like that, that's,
that's what got was getting me. No, that makes sense. Yeah. They really did not do a great
job at, at establishing a lot of stuff. Yeah. And then they just, they basically completely

(50:49):
ignore that scene. The rest of the fricking film. Yeah. Other than, other than he like
looks at his hands and you see the scars from the barbed wire. Yeah, that's literally it.
Such a weird opening seeing him like, you know, like a, you see like a closeup shot
of him just walking through on these, these muddy trails holding, I think it was a seven

(51:13):
11 bag with a fricking, what was it in it? I think it was just a bottle of alcohol, right?
Yeah. That's what it looked like. Yeah. And then fricking, yeah. And then like, you know,
like him dealing with, with the horse and, you know, trying to stop it from dying, but
you know, he can't slice his hand. And then we fully jump into him as, as an adult in

(51:35):
this rehab center. And like, I remember it taking me, cause it, you know, it's so sudden
that like, I actually missed the part when we jumped to the rehab center and it actually
says that it's a rehab center. Like when they do like the first shot of like the building
and it says, it says the name for some re I guess like the shot for me at least, because

(51:58):
I'm sorry, I didn't, I found this movie very boring. So like some shots, like, like I was
a little slow with. So like, it wasn't until like a little, it took me a little bit more
to be like, okay, so this is a rehab center. This isn't like fricking prison. Okay. Yeah.
So it was your date. You're totally right. It was, it was boring. It was hard to follow

(52:26):
because like they don't focus on him. Like they, they shifted their focus to Shelley.
Yeah. And then like, it was like Shelley's whole deal. And then you see her go and get
arrested and then she gets sent to this rehab facility and you're just like, dude, what
is going on? Like it was, it was hard to follow. And then they just kind of fell for each other

(52:52):
so ridiculously hard and fast. It was, yeah, it was, it was so hard, dude. Like you understand
where, why his little crush comes from because he's the only one that sees her. She didn't
see him. Like she was being escorted by a guard. She didn't see shit. And then she's
like suddenly in his room and just like a flirting question mark. And it's like, it's

(53:23):
so, it's so weird. And then they, they escape, like it's, it's, it's unhinged behavior is,
is what's happening. And I'm like, dude, what in the actual ass, dude, especially the scene
when they're in the cafeteria and she sits down at his table and he's like, Oh, they
don't like the men and women sitting together. And she's just like, Oh, I know I'm a rule
breaker. Like some shit like that. I'm just like, is this supposed to be floor play? Because

(53:47):
this is really fricking weird. Yeah. And I'm like, well, obviously they don't care that
fricking much. Yeah. Like, cause she was there for a while. Yeah. And then the guy finally
like shouts like, Hey, and there's like, Oh, right on time. And then she's just able to
get up and go. Like there's no repercussions for that. Yeah. Like, okay. And then he, it

(54:09):
just kind of establishes like everyone in that facility hates him. Why? Just because
he keeps to himself, doesn't say shit. Like, yeah. Shouldn't that be a, a model? Uh, I'm
not going to say inmate, but a model patient. Yeah. So you guys are being a dick to him
for no reason at all. Like make that sense. I don't know. Maybe in like, right. Like,

(54:34):
like a rehab center, like you want the patient to actually communicate and you know, like
express themselves and you know, like really try to, um, understand the person. So like,
I don't, I'm not going to say I understand why they were the way that they are to him,
but like, if I'm comparing to like how they are in prison, like him keeping to himself

(54:55):
and everything. Yeah. That's a model prisoner. Like that, that's what guards want. Like they
don't want any shit from you. They just want you to do what you're told and shut the, shut
the hell up. Um, but like in rehab, like they actually want you to talk to them. They, they,
they want to help you get better. So like, I don't condone their activity, but I get

(55:16):
why they're like always trying to like fricking like push him. You know, what would have helped
this a lot is if this, if one, they, they, they either like made a better distinction of time,
of how long the relationship lasted. Cause it felt like it was only like a week or two.

(55:38):
And I'm like, these are very, very strong feelings for like a week or two. You should have,
you needed to establish this as something more or at least show that this isn't just,
uh, a quick fling. Like they've, they spent like have, or they have spent like years together
or at a year minimum, a year minimum. Cause it's like anything less than that is, is too

(56:04):
much for all the shit he went through. It's like, dude, fricking cut your losses. It felt
like a weekend at the crows. That's it. That's really what it felt like. Yup. With their
relationship. Yeah. So I think it would have helped is either they established that the
relationship took place over a longer period of time or they just show that the relationship

(56:31):
was pre-existing. Yes. That, that's yeah. 100%. Yeah. And then I think it would have made
more sense if she, if she was like the one, like if she had gotten this thing from, from
Zadie, like this message and just to like, to just to show his commitment towards her,

(56:54):
you kind of have, like you could do all like the cutesy cutesy tootsy fricking, uh, couples
things that they did together. Like you could have had all of that, like shown them the,
the, the montage of that and then get into the fricking Zadie shit where Zadie sends
the message to Shelly. Shelly opens it, kind of freaks out, goes and gets herself arrested.

(57:18):
And then Eric's just like, Oh, what the shit. And so he goes and gets himself arrested and
put into the rehab and, and everything. Like basically just, just to show off his commitment
to her a bit better than this basically perfect stranger that he's thrown away his life for.
Yeah, no, I absolutely agree. Just, I don't know, like especially, you know, when he chooses

(57:46):
to bring her soul back to life for his, I'm just like, buddy, you knew her for like a
week. Like not even dude, like, holy shit. You really think it's worth spending the rest
of eternity in hell for her? You gave up your immortal soul for someone you don't even know.

(58:06):
Like, come on, man. So this is what I was, I'm getting that preexisting relationship
would have worked. Cause then you're like, Oh, like, damn, this dude is committed to
her. And like I would have felt different about it versus like me just being like, okay,

(58:28):
trying to get on board with this relationship. That's just been going super quick. And like
you don't even need like a huge like explanation of like why their relationship is so strong.
Like give me just like a couple of minutes of like where they started, how far they've
come yada yada yada. I'll be way more behind why this relationship is so strong compared

(58:50):
to freaking how it plays out in the movie. Yeah. Just give us a little bit more like
Bill Skarsgard monologue. Yeah, exactly. Like we, I would have been super down for that.
I mean, it would have been more Bill Skarsgard. So yeah. And it would have, it would have

(59:11):
explained or it would just establish that a lot better than what they did. And you need
to get rid of the freaking artsy fartsy shit. You need to freaking clear this movie. There's
a lot of that in this like, dude, I shit you not there was a whole sequence where like,

(59:32):
I think it was like shortly after Shelley died and he's like roaming through the streets
and this crow's basically like chasing him. Or I remember that. Yeah, I was like, I'm
going to take a minute to go to the bathroom and I ran out, went to the bathroom, came
back and then the scene like had ended and I'm like, bro. Yeah, dude, I didn't miss anything.

(59:54):
And then it was like, I remember the exact moment you're talking about and yet nothing
happened. Yeah. And then like I get back and I think it was like right before he was getting
kidnapped or taken by those guys and like died. Yeah. And I'm like, freaking dumb, freaking
dumb. So at least you can appreciate that. Like it actually gives you like a good bathroom

(01:00:20):
break moment. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. But honestly, after that, that's when the movie started
to pick up in like a good way. Like then it got, the story wasn't perfect by any stretch
of the imagination, like not even in the second half, but the second half picked up its pace

(01:00:45):
a little bit and I appreciated it for that. But I will say like when he's being told,
you know, like what happened to him and Shelley and you know, like what it caused, what he
has to do and all this stuff. Like when we're in that area of purgatory, I thought that

(01:01:05):
was actually really cool. It looks like you're awesome. Yeah. Like those scenes were really
cool. I mean, I agree. Like after, like would you say like after they die, like that's when
it like takes off? It takes a while even after he dies. All right. Fair. Yeah. You got a

(01:01:26):
point. Because I mean, listen, like there are scenes after that that are like, okay,
cool. So like when he first like wakes up and fights that one cop and gets like stabbed
a couple of times, freaking sick. I hate this movie for that scene because, so when I go
to the movies, I usually don't get concessions just for some reason. I just don't. This movie

(01:01:49):
I decided and you know what, I don't feel like I'm going to love this movie. So I feel
I need some popcorn to get me through this movie. So, you know, I decided to get some
popcorn. I hate this. I hate that moment because that gunshot scared the ever living shit out
of me and I dropped a lot of my popcorn for that. So, screw this movie for that. Yeah.

(01:02:14):
All I got was a drink. So I was good. Oh, you mother effer. Yeah. But dude, I. God damn
it. Oh man. It was, it scared the shit out of me too. Like there was a couple moments
where I was like, oh, because it was just shit. That was like way loud. Yeah. And but

(01:02:35):
yeah, I. Yeah, there were a couple action sequences before it really started popping
off that I was like, OK, I'm like, now we're picking it up and then it slowed down. I'm
like, God damn it. And then like slow, slow, slow action. Here we go. Here we go. Nothing.
I'm like, like, yeah, we can slap the ball on time. Seriously. Like every time he was

(01:03:00):
killing Rowan, whatever the hell his name is, his henchmen. That was some cool shit.
Like honestly, I was having a good time watching that stuff. But a lot of the stuff, almost
everything in between that I'm just like, OK, can we just get more killing, please? It's
just I needed a better story structure is what it came down to. This is probably one

(01:03:27):
of the weaker categories for me personally. I. It was so below average and so boring and
a pacing was off. It was rough even after like the second half saved it a little bit.
Like I'd say before the second half like pop off, I probably would be at like a sixty three.

(01:03:57):
Like it like really like is a freaking low. But I think I'm like sixty eight with the
second half. It's. Damn, man, I feel you're being generous. That's me. It was it was rough,
but I think the second half makes up for quite a bit. Obviously not a lot because it didn't

(01:04:18):
even crack 70. I don't I don't know if I can agree with you fully. Like, yeah, the second
half does pick up quite a bit or not quite a bit, at least like it picks up a little
bit compared to the first half. But it still didn't make up for what I feel is not a great
plot. I was not on board from the beginning and by the end, I'm just like, OK, can we

(01:04:44):
just wrap it up here? I'll say this. There's a lot you have to set aside. Like by the second
half, I'm like, OK, here like it was like after that whole sequence, like when you had
like after I think the going to the bathroom kind of acted like a refresh button for me.
Damn, I was because I left and I came back and it was like right before everything popped

(01:05:09):
off and I was like, all right, like trying to take it like a mental assessment of where
we're at. I'm like, OK. He loves this this woman obviously more than anything. Like he
would he's at the point where he would do anything for her. And he can't die. And he's

(01:05:31):
willing to like give up basically anything for it. So like I had it like kind of set
established that in my my own brain. Like, OK, this is where it's at, even though it
didn't make sense on how it all came together. This is where we're at. So maybe that's that's
an unfair advantage I'm giving it. But I don't know. It was no, no, no, I get it. No, I'm

(01:05:55):
glad that you got you were able to step away from this movie, get a little breather and
come in like with a with a fresh mind. I love that. I unfortunately did not. And just yeah,
like from the like I said, I agree with Caleb that like in the second half, it picks up

(01:06:15):
a little bit, a little bit. But just from the very beginning to the very end, I just
wasn't fully on board with this movie, with this movie story. So I'm going to go sixty
two. I understand. I understand that. Oh, man. All right. Moving on over to writing.

(01:06:41):
This isn't much better. No, like I said, the the opening monologue was probably my favorite
writing and one because it came from Bill Skarsgard because Bill Skarsgard is a fantastic
actor. And the monologue is just so great. Speaking of how someone's death can honestly

(01:07:04):
shape someone's life after after they've gone, it it affects someone so much it shocks you,
it shocks you to your core. And yeah, just like like I don't fully remember it. And I
wish I did. And I can't when I look it up, I can't find it because, you know, the movie's
only been out for like two weeks and abysmal two weeks. God, the box office is so bad for

(01:07:28):
this movie. But just like I'm going to be honest, like when that opening monologue happened,
I'm just like, OK, you know what? Maybe maybe this movie might be good. Like I'm vibing
with this monologue like I really am. And then the rest of the movie happened and the
rest of the writing. I'm just like, all right, never mind. I take it back.

(01:07:52):
Dude, there was like nothing in here that was like a heavy hitter. And I feel like they
could have like they started off strong, but they couldn't freaking keep it up. Like I'd
even say like the purgatory, the gatekeeper was written poorly. Yeah, I agree. And I'm

(01:08:14):
like, dude, that's like the person that you should freaking be in awe of. Yeah. Like the
person that's borderline a god. Like it should be someone that you fear that has such like
I would like almost border like James Spader levels of dialogue like that's who you should
be, like how you should view him. Yeah, he's the stop, but he's like the midway point from

(01:08:42):
the living to the dead. Yeah. So I do, you know, really quickly speaking to James Spader,
please tell me you heard that he's coming back as Ultron. Oh, yes. I'm so excited for
that. Sorry, getting off topic, but I just want to make sure Caleb knew that because
I didn't know that. And dude, I have a theory that I'll run by you. I'll run by you after

(01:09:06):
the show. All right. Okay. Dude, it was it was rough. Like this person that I was supposed
I felt like I was supposed to view as like a deity wasn't it just felt like it was just
some like dirty hobo that like kind of helps guide the crow. Yeah. And it's like it doesn't

(01:09:28):
really track. And like freaking the god, what's the bad guy's name? Who cares? Yep. 100% agree
with that. Where's the cast? There it is. Rogue, Vincent Rogue. Like almost every line

(01:09:57):
of dialogue out of his mouth. I'm just like, God, this is like so stereotypical bad guy.
Yeah. Like he's a stereotype. He's a stereotype with frickin cookie cutter dialogue. Like,
you know what, just because for how stereotypical it was, when he's watching that one girl play
the piano, I would have just loved watching him eat an apple. Like that would have just

(01:10:24):
been the cherry on top being like, Okay, he is the definition of stereotypical. And I'm
here for it just because you realize it. And you're, you're pushing that. So I will give
you a pass because you're realizing what you're doing here. But they didn't. And clearly they're
they they I'm assuming they thought like, Oh, the writing for Vincent is just amazing. He's

(01:10:46):
such a great villain. No, he's a stereotypical as they come. Yep. Like it's seriously like
if think about any little bit of dialogue that you would get from from an antagonist
that has demonic route or roots. You got that like what this dude's dialogue was, it was

(01:11:11):
so bland. Like I kept forgetting he was part of the movie. Dude, frickin when he says like,
and you know, like this was the first introduction to this character, and we didn't know this.
But when he says, Oh, I made a deal with the devil. And so I trade good souls for mine.
I rolled my eyes. I'm like, Oh, my God, that is one of the most I'm the bad guy lines I

(01:11:34):
think I've ever heard in a movie. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't even know how to let how I would have
written that dude better. Dude, like seriously, like any time that they're like, I mean, take
our frickin breakdown of of Borderlands, for example, we do. We didn't even know the source

(01:11:58):
material and we were able to think of like a better antagonist than what we got this
I said. I couldn't even tell you, dude. I could not even tell you. And I'm like, dude,
is she frickin innocent? Like she's kind of a junkie. No, like seriously, like they're
they're they're vibe or they're they're definition of innocent souls was pretty lacking. And

(01:12:26):
maybe the reason you haven't paid off your debt yet is because you're you're stealing
the souls of these junkies and not like truly innocent souls. Like I thought he was going
to steal the soul of that that the piano chick. Dude, I thought the same thing. Yeah. But

(01:12:47):
no, he like he does some bullshit that's like corrupting them. And then I'm like, dude,
like aren't you kind of like negating your own purpose? I feel she was such like a wasted
character. I know. What was she even in there for? Yeah. Like, what the hell? Frick, it's

(01:13:08):
so stupid. Oh, man. Dude, I was originally at a sixty five with the writing. I think
I'm down where you're at with writing. I'm at like a sixty two or where you're at with
with your story. I'm at a sixty two. The dialogue is just so bland. It is so bland. Dude, they

(01:13:32):
were seriously one bad write or like rewrite away from doing. I am the crow. Dude, like
and you know, I get it's based off a comic book. I get that. But look at all of these
other comic book movies that have come out in these come out in recent years and they're
able to take the source material, the lines that are very well known and make them not
sound so campy, not so oh my God. Yeah, this really truly feels like it's from a comic

(01:13:56):
book. Yeah. It's not that hard. Dude, it someone worded this perfect. It is dark for darkness
is sake. Yep. And then and do and then they had this this little bit where he like after
he killed those guys, after he'd like frickin turned his soul over to the devil, where he's

(01:14:22):
he's like sitting there like after he's butchered these people and he's like looking something
up and he's like, hold this and sticks the cigarette in the dead dude's mouth. I'm like,
are you actually shitting me? Is that supposed to be a joke? Like, no, dude, like, absolutely

(01:14:45):
not. Hell up, man. I can't even think like I think like stealing the souls of the innocent
is an interesting idea. The way 100% the way it's Yeah, it the the problem was it wasn't.

(01:15:05):
Like it was it was interesting. And I was like, okay, like how like you got to represent
that you're stealing their soul a bit better than like having them stab themselves in the
neck, touching them and getting like having like an orgasm and then dropping them. Yeah,
like what the fuck? Yeah, like literally all every scene it was just him whispering in

(01:15:27):
their ear, their eyes turning white, and then them killing themselves. That was it. Yeah,
I'm like that. Is that stealing their soul? Yeah, like, like, I, I think of someone stealing
someone's soul. Like, I swear, it's happened in a movie, I can't remember where like you
literally are like, like, like slurp not slurping, but like you're sucking in and so and it

(01:15:50):
looks as if like the soul is like escaping the body and it's like going into you. Like,
that might be like a little too much like a little like to like, oh, yeah, it's it's
that obvious. Like, I get it. You're, you're taking someone's soul. But I feel like they
could have made it a little more obvious with this one. Yeah, I think they needed to go

(01:16:13):
a little bit more supernatural with this route. Yeah. Or with with the wrath that they took.
I mean, hell for like how campy this frickin movie was. I think that would have been better
with just watching him just having him like, frickin suck the soul in like right then and
there and then they kill themselves. I'm like, okay, he took their soul. All right. It's
very it's very tongue in cheek. But at least I know they actually did take their frickin

(01:16:39):
soul. You want to know the route that I would have taken and it would have required a little
bit more special effects. But what I would have done to kind of just show that their
souls were being taken. What is I would have had him do like a full blown like ritual because

(01:17:01):
he had the frickin Dexter death room. Like, why not? Yeah. Like, I would have had him
draw like these runes on the ground and have like put the person like like let's just use
Zadies for example. I would have had like Zadies had like her be put in the middle of

(01:17:25):
this room, like being held by like by some people. And then he does like, like does the
whispering in her ear and then she like freezes and then like her hands like invisible chains
like kind of like hold her down, right? Like white eyes and everything. And then him giving

(01:17:47):
like a whole spiel about like the an innocent soul needing to like to repay a debt that
he's that he owed like just some sort of like obviously write it better than this, but just
some sort of like ritual that he has to perform. And then like you could like almost like see

(01:18:09):
the the color like drain from her until it gets to her feet and then just collapse on
the ground. Like something that's just so terrifying to like look at where it's just
like it where it's borderline like demonic. And you're just like, dude, what in the actual
ass is happening? And then it's just boom, like she just drops dead to the floor. Yeah,

(01:18:30):
see? Yeah, I would have been down for that. Yeah. Then it's just like, like, with what
he did where she stabbed herself and then he like just like what put his hand over her
her neck wounds. Yeah. And then just like sat there and like convulsed. I was like, what
is happening? Like, no, this is just like, like the deal with the devil. I don't know.

(01:18:57):
Like maybe I'm thinking about like the deals with devils a little bit too like transactionally.
It's like, listen, I'll give you immortality, but you owe me X amount of innocent souls.
It's like, OK, cool. Or you owe me an innocent soul every X amount of time. OK, got it. Cool.

(01:19:23):
It shouldn't be like I'm absorbing that soul. It should be like I am sending that soul to
the devil. Yeah. Like, like, that's how I view it should be. And then like the whole
like for like forcing the people to like like doing that with Zadie would have been perfect.

(01:19:47):
It's just like, OK, boom, like it's like sucks the soul out of her collapses in it in just
a heap of a body with with Shelly's mom. That would have made a little bit more sense if
it's just like straight up mind control. Yeah. Yeah. And then like instead of like stealing
her soul, because obviously she's not innocent in any way, she is just more like a crossroads

(01:20:13):
demon where like he's making a side deal. I don't know. Like I would have made it a little
bit more obvious that he is stealing the souls or like sending the souls to hell. I absolutely
agree. Like who knows how much that would have helped? Probably not a lot. Fair. But

(01:20:36):
it would it would have been a little bit more obvious. And then I don't understand what
his goal was trying to obtain the crow. Yeah. Like was he trying to steal his soul because
he already gave his soul up. True. Yeah, that's true. So yeah, it seemed like he wasn't going

(01:20:58):
to win anything from that. Yeah. Unless it was just like this was like the end all be
all where the devil like comes to him and he's just like, I will give you permanent
immortality if you bring me the powers of this of this crow, or of the crow or whatever
the hell you wanted to call him. Like, like bring me the powers of this of this being

(01:21:27):
and you'll have immortality forever and our our your debt is cleared by then that it's
like, okay, there's the incentive for him to like go after the crow. It's just it's just
bad. Bad writing. It is bad writing. Oh, yeah, 100%. And that's why I'm putting it as 62.
Some of the dial are the the monologuing was I outside of that now, like this could have

(01:21:53):
been so much better written. Yeah, dude, I'm I'm on the same boat as you 62. The only reason
that it's not a 60 is because that monologue. All right, moving on over to acting. So starting
off with this cast, we got Bill Scarsgard, who plays Eric, aka the crow. We got FK FK

(01:22:20):
a twigs who plays Shelley, we have Danny Huston, who plays Vincent rogue, Josette Simon, who
plays Sophia or who is Shelley's mom, Laura Byrne, who plays Marion, who is the rogues
henchwoman, I guess. Yeah, yeah, right hand woman. Yeah, then we got Sammy Buagila, who

(01:22:47):
plays Kronos, who is like the the I guess the the guide, the spirit guide to to Eric.
Yeah. All right. What's your top three look like? Oh, boy. So number one, I got to get

(01:23:08):
to Bill Scarsgard. I feel that he is trying. He is trying to make this dialogue work. He's
trying to make this movie work. And just unfortunately, the odds are stacked against him. Unfortunately,
because he's still a great actor. I still love him and everything that he does. But

(01:23:28):
just this was this was not it. This is this is not his proudest moment. Nope. Dude, it
was close. That second half, dude, if the whole movie would have been more like the
second half, this could have easily been a solid B minus movie. Person, I wouldn't go

(01:23:51):
that far. I think it'd like maybe like approach like the CC plus. You think even keeping up
with the pacing and everything? Yeah. OK, fair enough. So like, but you know, that's
awesome that it would shoot that high for you. But yeah, just I think I'm taking it

(01:24:13):
into consideration. I think I'm taking into consideration all of like the possible rewrites
that they would have had to do as well. But yeah, like if they would have improved on
the relationship and given us a better antagonist and better motivations behind everything, I
think it could have been up there with like a B minus B movie. One. And you know, this

(01:24:41):
whole I guess goes into costumes. I did not like his haircut in this movie. I think they
could have given him a way better haircut. And that's and it's not like the and it's
not like it's the style that Bill Skarsgård wears like that. That's not his normal haircut.
So I don't know, just like that. The it looks like a mullet, like like a like a shitty mullet

(01:25:07):
that he was going for it. It looks freaking stupid. Oh, we are going to disagree on that
because I okay. Okay. The haircut. Yeah, it's a little goofy. But I think once he's all
suited up, I think it works. All right. I'll give you a little bit of that. Yeah. Prior
to him being suited up, I was like, odd choices. But okay. All right, fair enough. So yeah,

(01:25:38):
so Bill Skarsgård number one. Then I'll give number two to FK twigs. I feel that she did
a decent job. The like we talked about earlier, the love story was just so abrupt and like
they fell in love so fast. I'm like, like, god damn, like this is like movie wise. And

(01:26:04):
like even like in real world, that's a record for relationship relationships I've seen take
off like god damn, at least in terms of commitment, like definitely. Yeah. Like few weeks and
he already sold his soul. But you know, I feel for her being mostly a musician and what

(01:26:30):
she was given, I feel that she does do a good job. And I enjoyed her performance. For the
most part, I did enjoy her performance. And then number three, just we're just going in
order here. Number three, I'd give the Danny Huston, I played Vincent rogue, the bad guy.

(01:26:50):
I do think it looked like he was having a good time playing this role. He definitely
was definitely seemed like he was having fun being bad. And you know what, I appreciate
that. And I love that for him. So even though the dialogue and the story was God offer for
him, especially the dialogue, it was so canny. I did have somewhat of a good time watching

(01:27:18):
his performance. So that is my top three. All right. My number one is the same as yours.
Bill Skarsgard. I don't think we need to say anything more on him. He did. I think he did
good with the material he was given. My number two, surprisingly, is Sammy Buagila, who played

(01:27:41):
Kronos. That's fair. That's a good pick. So the reason he's taking number two, I really
like the role that he had kind of being like that that gatekeeper. My only problem, his
voice is a little too high for what I would imagine this character to be like his voice

(01:28:12):
didn't quite line up with what I imagined him to sound like. Like I think that they
needed to do like more like of a godly effect. OK. Like I think his voice needed to like
have like some more reverb and just feel powerful. Like I feel like his voice needed to be heard

(01:28:34):
throughout the entire like area that they were at. Like that's kind of what I was like.
I was hoping that they were going to do. Like especially when he's like starting to yell
at Eric, I was like, OK, we need like a thundering boom. And like that's kind of what I was hoping
that we were going to get with him. I think that like with some like minor alteration

(01:28:58):
to his voice, like his that role would have been even better. I know. Fair enough. I mean,
it didn't bother me, but I can understand why. Yeah. And I think it would have added
some more like some more like gravitas to the scene where he's like where Eric offers
up his soul. He's like my soul for her soul. And he like turns around and looks at her.

(01:29:19):
And then it's just that's where I think like a thundering boom and just like, do you know
what you like what you're like offering or do you know what you're sacrificing like making
that? And he's then it's like, yes. And then as like that, I don't know if he's like the
previous crow or if he's like now the gatekeeper or like like maybe they just like swapped roles

(01:29:43):
or whatever. But I feel like that swap should have been a little bit more apparent, like
then his voice kind of gets like like calmer and calmer until it's Bill Skarsgård's voice.
That's like the thunderous booming voice. I think they could have played around with the
voices a bit more. Yeah, fair. Like I said, it didn't it didn't mean much. It didn't need

(01:30:08):
a whole lot. It just needed a little bit of an echo, a little bit of reverb and a bit
more bass to his voice just to give it that like thundering tone. But I'm a big sucker
for like that for that that type of voice. So I mean, that that may be a personal bias

(01:30:31):
for the alteration, but I think it would have worked for that role. But yeah, my number
three is going to be going to FKA Twigs. I thought she did really well with the material
she was given. It's just pacing wise, the story messed with the the characterization

(01:30:54):
of her. Like that's the only issue that I had with her. Otherwise, I felt her performance
was really good. And I I felt the heartbreak that she was going through when she woke up
and saw Eric's body next to her. Like and how like difficult that like would have been

(01:31:16):
to see. Like she portrayed that so well. And that's crazy for someone who's been in nothing
but frickin music videos and like played Shy Girl in like some random ass movie. Like five
years ago. Like frickin nuts. So frickin hats off to her for her performance in here. Like

(01:31:39):
fantastic. Yeah. Considering the material. Oh, man. Yeah. So are you sitting with with
acting? Um, I don't really think I have like anything else to add to acting. So acting

(01:32:02):
wise, I think I'll be at like a seventy five. I am not too much far off from you. I'm at
six. OK, yeah. They did good. It was just unfortunately I think the story affected how

(01:32:24):
I how I viewed their performance 100 percent are moving on over to character development.
This was all over the place. Oh, yeah. This was very sloppily put together. Yeah. Oh,
boy. Like this is just going solely off of Eric's character.

(01:32:45):
But one, it was just you couldn't keep track of like where
he was. And it just like he was always in a state of being
like unhinged, but he was in love too.
So you kind of have to take that into consideration and he
kept that throughout.
And even when he like, I guess, doubted his love, like which

(01:33:08):
that wasn't even it's like he wasn't doubting the love.
He was doubting her because like to any reasonable person.
It would just look like some dude came and whispered in her
ear and then she went and stabbed her friend in the neck.
Yeah, like it's like cool.
She's she was also like on drugs.

(01:33:30):
Like you think my first go to is going to be like like seeing
video footage of this.
Do you think my first go to is going to be like, oh well that
dude whispered incantation in her spell or in her ear and
the spell made her go and do that.
I'm like, no, the freaking drugs made her go and do that.

(01:33:50):
Yeah, so I think it is a little unfair of Kronos to be like
you doubt her and I'm like, dude, there was video.
You blame him. Yeah, video evidence, son.
Like you're just wanting me to like blindly follow this chick

(01:34:11):
that I literally met this week.
Seriously. Yeah, this is where I feel like the pre-established
relationship would have helped a lot.
100% because like I would have loved seeing him, you know,
when that moment happens like reflecting on, you know,

(01:34:33):
how far they had come in their relationship.
I guess like like everything that he remembered good about
her and what they mean to each other and like that kind of
stuff like overpowering what he was seeing on screen because
he knew her so well.
He knew who she really was like, I mean, I would hope that,

(01:34:57):
you know, they would explain like the relationship has been
going on for quite a while so that they for because I like
don't wrong like when a relationship, you know, has been
established for so long and then they, you know, find out
something that they didn't know about each other and like that
breaks them up or like makes them like really rethink.
It's an interesting plot point.

(01:35:18):
I will admit but I feel in this sense.
It really it really would have benefited to see him just
replay that in his mind being okay.
I've known her for so long.
We've been through so much together.
This is this is what I'm seeing.

(01:35:38):
Yeah, like I think that would have been like if I don't
think you need to make the relationship that much more
established.
It just need to be more established in a freaking week.
Or however long it was.
It was it was too short of a time or if it was a long

(01:35:58):
period of time, they needed to better establish that 100%
like show us that this if they've been in hiding for like
a year, but it seems like they were always in that one
apartment.
So it's like what the did they only go and check that place
once?
Yeah, like it didn't make sense.

(01:36:20):
So like you would have made more sense if they were like
traveling and like going from place to place to place and
it's like, okay, we've been together for four months or
even years and now we're like finally making our way back
and this person still on the manhunt and then that would
have been interesting to see the the decline of the pianist

(01:36:43):
he had because because she was like a prodigy like Shelley
was the prodigy that he corrupted and turned into his
own like little sick experiment.
So it would have been interesting to see the the the
innocent pianist that he had with him basically the dark

(01:37:05):
road that she would have gone down.
Damn, we miss out dude.
This movie was so lazily put together like you this is why
people that aren't.
This is the problem with getting like just random ass people
to work on movies.
It's like if you're not a fan of the material or don't know

(01:37:27):
how to do it like really good justice, don't touch it.
Like Caleb hasn't seen anything else from the crow and I
feel you could put a way better story together.
Well, because the story is interesting.
The story is wildly interesting.
So it's just pisses me off when people like with things

(01:37:48):
that have a cult following like the the crow and obviously
something was right about like they did something right with
the original crow because you got like four or five other
movies based off of it.
Yeah, like that doesn't like obviously like shitty like
sequels and shit, but I'm assuming that's the cast is crazy.

(01:38:11):
But I mean, come on.
It's just yeah, it's it's frustrating.
It's frustrating when people don't take the source material
into consideration and I can I feel like I can tell that
they didn't.
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah, but I mean his so yeah, it's just Eric's characterization

(01:38:36):
and his his any development that he had felt so cheap because
it was it felt like a really quick like burning hot and
bright or quick and bright candle like it just it felt too
much too soon.

(01:38:57):
Yes.
So this is one I'm I'm I'm fairly low to I'm probably 67
at 66 67 felt too high.
Oh, yeah, man, dude, I feel you like I've really nothing
else to add you like nailed it with how bad the character

(01:39:19):
development was and how all over the place it was so I'm
just going to be just a tad below.
Yeah to 65.
All right, next up we got effects probably the highlight
of this movie. Yes, the effects were pretty good.
Yeah, I will be docking for some of the really shitty

(01:39:42):
looking crows.
Fair like there were some that were pretty rough.
Yeah.
But the the the seat like the gore in this was just ridiculous
dude.
Like holy shit.
I've it's been a while since I've seen that many decapitated

(01:40:05):
heads dude.
What about the freaking do that he had up against the wall
with the sword up to his his mouth and then just like push
forward.
I was like, oh, yeah, that was awesome.
Dude, this was rough.
So for those of you that haven't seen this and have chosen

(01:40:26):
to listen to this anyway, the crow decides that he's going
to go or he just grabs like a freaking katana that he's
like walking down the street and he like unsheathed this
like tiny katana and just bush wax these people with this
damn katana and it is brutal.

(01:40:46):
It is brutal and it's like in an opera house too.
So it just kind of has like it has an elegant vibe about
it, but it's so it's so cool like because like he can't
die or his body can't die.
So it's crazy like watching him just freaking like slaughter
these two people and then he's like walking up the steps

(01:41:06):
and then all these guards are just unloading on him.
And so he's just like kind of like bouncing around and
everything and then he like falls to his knees and then
they come up on him and he just starts like slicing and
slicing like it's his freaking job and it gets rough.
Like that's the best way possible.

(01:41:28):
Yeah, dude, the ones that freaking kept getting me were
the ones where he was going in at the shoulder.
Oh, yeah, it was it would like cut down through the collarbone.
I'm like, oh, I love when he walks out on the stage like
towards the end of the movie and he just has two decapitated

(01:41:50):
heads and just throws them into the audience.
That was one scene that I feel like I could have done without
really.
I liked it.
It felt like dude, I would have been the freaking dumb ass
in the the stands being like this is like one of those
creepy ass plays like maybe this is part of it.
See you'd be that I'd be the kind of person that catches

(01:42:12):
it and I just got it.
I caught it like a kid.
You're like, okay.
Yeah, and then it's just like, oh, this is wet.
I don't think either of us would have believed that it was
like a real decapitated head.
Like we'd have the reaction that do you remember in C2

(01:42:33):
Chucky Jennifer Tilly has with the decapitated head?
No, she like comes across Tony Gardner who is like the guy
behind like the Chucky animatronics like he plays himself
in the movie and you know, he gets decapitated by Chucking
Tiffany, but she walks in on on his body and she picks it
up and she's just like, oh my God, you look so real and

(01:42:55):
she's like, I think she like pretends kisses kisses him
and all this stuff and then she like looks down and like
sees all the blood and she drops him like freaks out.
I'm just like, you know, I would say that you took you
that long to realize it was a it was it was a real, you
know, a real head but at the same time she was in Hollywood

(01:43:17):
she was you know, like in like the the studio lot all that
shit. I get why it took her a minute.
Yeah, dude, like it just it that makes me think of like
the James Gunn interview where he was talking about the
the Chris Pratt prosthetic that they had made and everyone

(01:43:41):
thought it was real.
Dude, like I don't blame them like that.
I know it freaking breathed.
It's just it's insane how accurate they can do shit like
that. You know what one that like always like freaking
like if you like look at it closely like the smile is like

(01:44:02):
freaking nightmare fuel the freaking like huge replica.
They did have David Hasselhoff for the SpongeBob Square
Pants movie.
That shit like like his smile if you're like you're looking
at up super close.
They said nightmare fuel that shit is scary.
Dude, you'd know damn well the Hoff has that in his house
somewhere.
Oh, he does 100%.

(01:44:23):
I think he tried this.
I can't remember.
I think he he's either trying to sell it or has sold it already.
Oh man, because he doesn't want to lying around anymore.
He doesn't like looking at himself.
Yeah, I don't freaking blame him.
I think he's trying to sell it or has sold it already.
Don't freaking blame him.
It's probably like it's he's probably not doing the proper
maintenance on it.
So it's probably like like morphed.

(01:44:49):
Like it probably doesn't look like him anymore and it's
probably scaring the shit out of him.
But yeah, dude, but I really liked and I knew it was coming
to that that one guard who is like picking at his teeth and
he like takes out a toothpick.
It's like wall like you see him putting the toothpick in and
then right as you see that you see the freaking sword coming

(01:45:12):
through his mouth.
Oh my God, I just pull it up and I'm just like, yeah, it's
it's it's why it was wild what they were able to do and the
combat was so cool.
It felt like very it almost felt like uncoreographed in like

(01:45:39):
the best way where it was just like he was just fighting by
like whatever the hell he could attempt to pull off.
Yeah, and it was pretty nuts.
It was pretty freaking nuts.
Like the those action sequences were the shit.
Yeah, the whole like final fight scene in that Cathedral was

(01:46:00):
freaking awesome like that almost okay.
I'm not going to say almost that is save the movie a little
bit for me barely but like that's like one redeeming thing.
I will say about this movie.
It does have a cool action sequence with that moment.
It almost felt like there was like some Deadpool combat like
just rejects in that dude like sir.

(01:46:22):
Yeah, like it reminded me a lot of the opening of Deadpool
and Wolverine and I was expecting bye-bye by to start
playing dude.
There was some hardcore shit in that though like the dude who
like came up behind him and stabbed him with his own sword
and he's he like grabs a gun and just pop pop pop like
through him.
I'm like shit.

(01:46:43):
Yeah, and then like the one dude that he just grabs the
dude's face and like pulls it into his chest has the sword
picking that are sticking that are where was it coming out
of was it coming out of his like neck or something.
I think so.
Yeah, but he like pulls the dude into it.
They didn't shy away from like showing us the that shit like

(01:47:04):
at all and I know that I cut expected them for it.
Yeah, like the one thing or the one that got me was the
dude whose head freaking hit the stairs and I was like,
oh damn like like that was a little rough and then he goes
and stops it.
I'm like,
Yeah, that whole frickin opera butcher sequence.

(01:47:31):
I'm like that's what the film like I feel like, you know,
like those scenes that you feel like a movie's been written
around like that's the scene.
I felt like this movie was written around.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
That's probably what got Bill Skarsgard to do it in the
first place.
Yeah.

(01:47:51):
He's been doing like a lot of action stuff lately.
Or at least I feel like he has like like one of the scars
guards has.
Yeah, he did barbarian boys kid boy kills world.
Nosferatu.
Oh, I didn't know he was in John Wick chapter 4.

(01:48:12):
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, I mean, he's done a decent amount of like of action
stuff.
But anyway, the effects were really freaking good as like
all of the frickin the Opera House, the slaughter Opera
House was was the bomb like super good effects and nothing

(01:48:36):
that I had an issue with like it all looked really good.
My only problems were the frickin occasional bad crow
scenes.
Yeah.
Yeah, I can agree.
Yeah, and unfortunately, I feel like those take like do

(01:48:58):
a pretty decent number on the movie because there are like
so many of them.
Yeah, so I am personally at like an 86 for the effects.
I'm like this is like the highest category.
As much as I love that Cathedral scene, I definitely

(01:49:22):
agree that the the the crows definitely do bring down the
effects.
So I'm going to be a couple points lower to an 82.
All right, fair enough.
All right, moving on over to music.
Wasn't bad.
Yeah, no, I've definitely heard worse.

(01:49:43):
Yeah, it's just very average soundtrack.
Unfortunately, it had a couple like okay songs.
So I think it's definitely worthy of like a six.
Yeah, I can agree with that.
Like it's not quite at like five level, but I couldn't
think of anything to justify putting it at a seven.

(01:50:06):
You know, it would have been the perfect band to cover
this movie simple plan. Yeah, not not too much to say
there.
Yeah, I got nothing else to add to that.
Yeah, moving on over to costumes.
The trench coat looked pretty sick.

(01:50:26):
The trench coat was dope.
I didn't hate the makeup either.
I did not either and I'm honestly shocked that I didn't
because the I will agree that when he actually is in
the crow outfit, the hair is not that bad.
It's like it does work.

(01:50:47):
I will definitely agree with you there.
It's just every other scene where he's not the crow.
Yeah, when he's in like the re in the rehab freaking
sweatsuit like freaking stupid.
Yeah, it looks goofy.
But then like once he's wearing the trench coat, I'm
like, all right, here we go.
And Shelley's outfits were really cool, too.

(01:51:09):
Like I really liked her like really long lacy gowns that
she was wearing.
Yeah, those were cool.
Like those were like like especially when she was in
the water, dude.
And yeah, oh my God.
Yeah, that dude.
Yeah, that scene when she's, you know, being taken down
to hell watching that and like watching her go down in

(01:51:29):
slow motion.
That was some cool stuff.
Yeah, I do feel like maybe they yanked her a little too
hard because it did feel like she was like very like
like almost folding in half.
Okay.
Yeah, you know, you got a point there.
I'm like, I don't think you needed to yoink her that
hard.
But this one.

(01:51:52):
Yeah, it's just like I remember seeing it like this the
second time like in the in the in the movies when she's
like you because you see that scene multiple times throughout
and so when you see her getting like yoink the second
time I noticed that it was very like like fast and so
I'm like, oh damn.

(01:52:15):
Like that was kind of rough.
But still like in her in her like long flowy gown, it
looked awesome.
Like in everything she was wearing was like super just
like out there and vibrant at least for for this movie.
So it was it was interesting.

(01:52:35):
It was like really like an interesting look.
Yeah, this one I've had a hard time with because I
don't know if that his crow outfit saves it enough to
be up at a nine, but I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm
like at eight and a half.

(01:52:58):
I'm sorry.
I'm lower than you.
I'm at a seven a seven.
Yeah, damn.
Okay, I'll give that one an eight then so like this
will end up averaging out to a seven.
Yeah, but fair enough.
I'm sorry.
The crow outfit doesn't save it at all.

(01:53:18):
Or do honestly if it weren't for the if it weren't for
the crow outfit, it'd be a five or six.
Damn.
Okay.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Yeah, any other outfits out there were I mean you had
that that opera that was going on.

(01:53:40):
Yeah, but even that wasn't like dude, I want to know.
I want to legitimately know do these rich people that
attend the opera know what the hell is happening?
Like do they understand what's being sung or do they
have to do like just a ridiculous amount of research prior

(01:54:03):
to attending it so they don't seem like idiots like oh,
this is what the plays about or this is what this opera
is about like I don't know.
Maybe it's just my my poor person talking but no dude
same I'm feeling there.
Yeah, I don't know if that's that is actually a genuinely

(01:54:24):
good question.
Yeah, like I don't know what freaking language is being
sung when there's when a freaking opera is happening.
I want to assume it's Latin.
Hold on.
Let me let me see.
Let me see.
What what language?
Do.
Opera singers use Italian French and German.

(01:54:51):
I wasn't even close.
Man Italian German or French.
Okay, so those don't seem like there are two out there
of languages to learn.
Okay, still a little douchey though.
Yeah.
Like I understand more like the idea of going to a ballet

(01:55:16):
or going to a play but an opera like especially if you
don't speak the language like what what's your incentive
to go to the freaking opera?
I mean if someone offered me free tickets, I'm not going
to turn them down because I wouldn't either like more
out of sheer curiosity.
Yeah, I feel it's like something that you you it's not

(01:55:39):
on your bucket list, but it's like on your secret bucket
list.
You're just like, you know what?
I want to at least experience one opera.
I think it's on my wouldn't say no list.
There we go.
Yeah, I like like if someone offered it up like it's like
yeah wouldn't say no, but I'm not going to spend my own
money to go.
All right.
That's if we got our own personal score and I feel like

(01:56:02):
you hated this movie a bit more.
So you want to take this one first?
Yeah, I would love to.
So yeah, unfortunately, I just did not vibe with this movie.
I like Cale pointed out once the second half hits it does
start to pick up a little bit.
But even that just didn't save it for me.
The cast does try.

(01:56:24):
I feel that they really do try especially Bill Skarsgard
like I feel bad that he had to be in this movie.
But I'm glad that he has the it prequel or the Pennywise
or no, it's the dairy prequel coming out soon.
So at least you know, we get to see him be Pennywise again.
So that's going to be awesome.

(01:56:44):
But yeah, just just did not love this movie and I will say
like I said at the beginning of the episode at least this
movie got me interested in seeing the original.
So I have to give it that.
But just yeah, I'm sorry.
I just did not really like this movie at all.

(01:57:08):
So personally.
I'm sorry.
Like in between here, you've never struggled with I have

(01:57:32):
been or as much as you have this one.
Yeah.
Okay, you know what?
I think I'm going to go a 60.
I think I'll go a 62.
Just yeah, I'm sorry.

(01:57:52):
Just did not like like it like I said many times just did
not vibe with this movie did not like you had some parts
that were like somewhat enjoyable but not enough to save
it and I do not see myself watching this movie ever again.

(01:58:13):
I'm on the same page as you.
I think I might have enjoyed it a little bit more just because
I feel like the concept is there.
Like the concept was there.
It was just the execution.
The execution was just so piss poor.
It ruined the vibe.
And I'm sitting at a 66.

(01:58:39):
This is one I feel like I have the potential to possibly
watch again.
Probably not if I'm being like real honest with myself, but
if I go and rewatch the original, which I do plan on doing
eventually, it's probably going to be one that I re-explore
just to psych do a proper comparison between this one and

(01:59:05):
the the OG.
Fair enough, but they the action sequences and or enough
to like sway me towards going a bit higher.
I enjoyed that and like I said, I think stepping having that
moment where I had where I stepped away and came back and
kind of like almost forgave the movie of its of its previous

(01:59:29):
transgressions.
Like I may have looked on it a little bit more favorably than
I would have otherwise.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that that usually happens with me where I if I
come back, I'm like, okay, I accept this movie for what it
is and I go into it being like accepting its flaws and then I
look on it a little bit more favorably.

(01:59:50):
So I think I just I kind of did that with half the movie.
Like with this the shitty half and then I was like, okay, I
know what what this is and now I've I've come to accept it.
And so yeah, it's it's one that I if I do come back to it,
it's going to be first for research purposes only.

(02:00:13):
All right, fair enough.
Yeah, so 60 actually 66 seems high 64 feels a little bit
better. I'm going to go 64.
Fair.
Oh man, it felt it felt funky.
It felt a little funky.
100%

(02:00:35):
All right going through these scores real quick starting off
with story.
We ended up averaging out to a 65 writing is sitting at a 62.
So not a great start.
No,
acting got a little bit of a bump sitting at a 75.5 the

(02:00:56):
character development is sitting at a 65.5.
So kind of took a bit of a dive there.
The characterizations are important and this one was not
done.
Well, the effects are the high point of this movie sitting at
an 84.
The music was average, but there were some

(02:01:19):
original items in there that made it a little interesting
to listen to so we ended up giving that a 6 out of 10 the
costumes.
Unfortunately for us is sitting at a 7 out of 10.
I feel it deserves a little bit higher, but can't really are
you
and then our personal score ended up averaging out to a 63.

(02:01:41):
Okay, so with that the final all bros letter grade for the crow
has come out to a
see minus
damn dude.
That is solely because of effects.
I freaking yeah, there's no I was expecting it to hit in the

(02:02:02):
DS.
I was expecting that too.
I let's see how close it was.
Really freaking close.
Oh damn, so this is it.
So our cutoff for a D plus is 70% so 70% is a C minus.

(02:02:25):
Anything less than 70 is D plus this ended up getting a 71.25
damn.
Okay.
Yeah, right on the edge.
Yeah, it was it was pretty pretty close.
This is wild dude.

(02:02:51):
Oh my gosh.
I don't know what I want to do first.
I love those.
I love those kind of episodes.
Yeah, those kind of rankings.
Okay, let's go what it's above first.
I feel like that's a little bit more interesting.
So this is sitting above Madame Web.

(02:03:15):
Yeah, I can agree with that.
It is above cats.
Fair.
This is these are both like funny enough.
These are both movies where there is one category that's really
good.
All right, that's usually good.
Cats and Crow or Madame Web and the Crow.

(02:03:35):
Like talking like the Crow like all of the like the C minus
movies.
There's always like there's always seems to be like at least
one thing about it.
That was good.
Okay, gotcha.
At least one category like with the Crow.
It was the special effects with Madame Web.
I would what did we say that one was probably effects too.

(02:03:59):
Yeah, or costumes.
It was probably costumes if I had to think.
Yeah, it was probably like a mix between effects and costumes
that brought it up and then cats freaking 10 out of 10
soundtrack.
Oh, yeah, like absolutely.
There's always that one thing about like C minus movies.
That's that's really good.

(02:04:19):
Yeah.
All right.
It and then getting into the D plus range that it is sitting
above Charlie's Angels the 2019 version.
Yeah, it is above Justice League.
Yep.
Well, okay, when it comes to like, okay, Justice League sucks,

(02:04:44):
but at least I actually enjoyed that movie.
I'm sorry.
Fair enough.
I think that was one where we had did we have a no we had
that was Justice League was one that we had outsider input
on.
Okay, so a lot of people.
Both Justice League movies got done dirty.
What the hell?
I know so freaking so Justice League though.

(02:05:09):
I think those might be two that we need to like come back to
those nighters.
Yeah, Justice League.
I feel like that's at least a C minus.
Yeah, but freaking because isn't Zack Snyder's also in the
sea or yes, it's like skipped over that one because it was

(02:05:31):
like I didn't want to like I knew that we were going to
like re-explore that might be one when we have like a gap
might be good.
I'm down because I feel that that will not predict you.
Anything, but I feel that's going to land in like the B
category Zack Snyder's.
Yeah, I'd be leaning more towards C plus Max.

(02:05:53):
Yeah, really?
Damn.
I'm not like a beam.
I would I would be down to rewatch it.
Yeah, I'm not like a probably like a solid be maybe.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, we may have space for that depending like what.

(02:06:14):
So our next episode spoiler alert is Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.
So we have a gap between between Beetlejuice and
Transformers 1.
So we could fill that with the Justice League like unless
there's like yeah, unless there's like some other one

(02:06:34):
that we want to look at like if we can't think of anything
should we do Zack Snyder's Justice League?
We should just do both the Justice Leagues.
All right.
I'm like like try to do it at the same time.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm in.
Okay, cool.

(02:06:56):
All right.
All right going the opposite direction with the crow.
It is sitting below.
The Star Wars The Last Jedi.
Okay.
It is below Rebel Moon.
I think I would disagree with that because at least the crows

(02:07:18):
watchable.
Here's the freaking kicker.
It's below Borderlands.
I am actually okay with that.
Are you?
Yeah, I'm okay that it's below Borderlands because you know,
I was thinking about this when I walked out of the movie.
I'm say, you know Borderlands was bad, but at least I can't

(02:07:39):
like even though I said that, you know, like it was bad and
Madden was Laughly bad.
I will say I still had a little bit of fun like barely any but
a little bit of fun with Borderlands.
The crow just I left being like, okay, that was.
Yep.
Yeah, that was a movie.
That was definitely a movie.

(02:08:00):
Okay.
All right.
It is also below Morbius and X-Men Dark Phoenix.
Okay.
So yeah, that's where it's sitting and not including the
two Justice League movies.
I think it has a decent home.
I agree most definitely.
Yeah, that's yeah, we'll have to re-explore those Justice

(02:08:24):
League ones because that yeah, I sing Zack's or Zack Snyder's
down so low does hurt the soul a little bit.
Do freaking especially when you think of like the amazing like
certain amazing moments in that movie like biggest one that
comes to mind is freaking Barry breaking the speed Force like

(02:08:48):
that.
I wish that Warner Brothers would have allowed like I get
why they put on HP on Max and I'm fine with that when it
first came out, but I think that they should have had a limited
run in theaters because I would have loved to see that scene
on the big screen.
Yeah, that was really cool.
But can you really freaking a lot for hours?

(02:09:11):
I mean, give me a bathroom break every hour.
I can do it.
The one thing I will get into it will get into eventually.
I could go on for hours about the movie.
But yeah, so if we do rescore that will be losing a D plus

(02:09:35):
movie.
I'm okay with that and we'll have only have three.
What are the other D pluses?
I forgot Charlie's Angels.
Okay, do little and Capone.
I forgot that we scored Capone that low.
God damn dude, the movie sucked.

(02:09:57):
Yeah, that movie was rough to get through.
Do little was just so bad.
Oh my God, I rewatched it because Iris wanted to it does
not hold up.
I held up to begin.
I know I know it didn't like it.
I just thought like, okay, I've already ripped it a new one.

(02:10:19):
Like maybe I'll look on it a little bit more favorably or
with more forgiving eyes.
No, not even a little bit.
See, I would have even when I thought about rewatching that
I would have been like, no, let's just go watch the Eddie
Murphy one.
Yeah, that's probably what I should have done, but she saw

(02:10:40):
the animals and she was very insisted.
I want to watch the animals.
I mean, this animals too.
I was going to say, but Iris there's there's there's animals
in this way better version.
Yeah, man.
But anyway, so that is where the crow is sitting.

(02:11:00):
All right.
I'm sorry that one of your I feel that this was one of your
like more so anticipated movies of this year.
This is a classic case of the trailer being better than the
movie.
I'm sorry, man, that you left disappointed.
Now it happens.
Like you can't you can't win them all.

(02:11:21):
I was the same way with tarot.
So I get it.
All right.
Well, if you like this episode want to check out more of our
stuff, be sure to follow and subscribe to us wherever you
listen to podcasts.
We are damn near everywhere.
We're on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tick-Tock, LinkedIn,
YouTube, all at the Albrows and we did find out on on YouTube.

(02:11:47):
You do have to search at the Albrows.
Yeah, for who knows what reason there's another frickin
channel with that's just all bros and I'm like, what?
So yeah, you have to search at the Albrows to find our shit.
Unfortunately, but yeah, let's see.

(02:12:11):
What else you can also check out our website tiny URL.
Comfort slash the Albrows.
And you can find links to everything that we do through
there.
And yeah, so be sure to tune in next week where we will be

(02:12:33):
breaking down Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.
Oh, yeah.
So freaking excited.
Yeah, very excited for that one.
And I'm going to have a little bit homework watching the first
one. Yeah, you do.
Yeah, I'm interested to see your your opinion if we're on the
same page here.
Yeah.
So you guys can look forward to that next week until then.

(02:13:00):
This has been the Albrows podcast.
I'm Caleb and I'm Jonathan and we'll catch you guys next week.
Deuces.
See you.

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