Do you often have conflicts with your partner? Would you like to learn to be happier in your relationships? Lisa continues the conversation today with author and relationship expert Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., who is a psychotherapist and marriage counselor. Linda explains how there’s an “art” to fighting and even in the greatest, happiest relationships, arguments can arise. Yet, she believes most challenges and problems can be worked out. You can use your relationship for the highest growth.
From what Linda and her husband, Charlie Bloom, also a therapist and marriage counselor have reported, only about 10% of partnerships are in “Super Marriages.” This is an equal relationship which involves being compassionate and passionate, utilizing each other’s strengths, and compensating for one another’s weaknesses. Individually people have done the work to uplevel themselves and their understanding, thereby upleveling the relationship itself. Linda explains that it takes passion and commitment to be a highly emotionally intelligent person. By enrolling their partner, this leads to an immensely successful relationship.
She and her husband decided to interview more than 50 very happy couples. The main trait they had in common was communication. They have “Super Marriages” because they are “Super Communicators.” They are in touch with their feelings and brave enough to express them. They learn how to be together, while keeping their individuality.
They have so many clients who did not have good relationship role models. Luckily this is something that can be learned. Every couple can have their own experience, based on their own set of ethics and values. Between the demands of dual careers, raising children, and helping aging parents, you must make your relationship your priority. Linda suggests having date nights, checking in with yourself and partner every day, and scheduling romantic getaways at various times of the year, not just for birthdays and anniversaries. Prioritize the well-being of your relationship, and you can become a stronger working team, better able to handle life’s stressors.
Linda also discusses relationships with family members who may have differing opinions, politically and otherwise. Linda suggests setting boundaries and letting them know you do not care to discuss the subject if you know it will lead to an argument. If they are a bit more open, then you listen and show respect to their point of view. Maybe they will reciprocate and show interest. It is possible that understanding can be forged, even if you do not agree with one another. Curiosity and wonder allow for differences to peacefully co-exist. It needs to be learned from the ground up. If you can create loving, trusting behavior in your own family, you can inspire those around you and thereby accelerate healing with powerful impact.
Linda and Charlie Bloom are co-authors of several widely acclaimed books including, “101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married: Simple Lessons to Make Love Last,” which has sold more than 100,000 copies, and “Secrets of Great Marriages: Real Truths from Real Couples About Lasting Love, Happily Ever After and Thirty-nine Other Myths about Love,” She offers educational and counseling services to individuals, couples, and organizations. She is a regular presenter at Esalen Institute and Kripalu Yoga Center. Info:
www.bloomwork.com