Bitch Bible

Bitch Bible

A podcast that dares to say what many are thinking, but only a bitch would say. Expect unfiltered and unapologetic discussions about sex, millennial struggles, pop culture, social faux-pas and hopefully, an insightful takeaway. Nothing is off limits. Hosted by Jackie Schimmel, creator of blog “The Bitch Bible," and your soon-to-be bitchy (and super neurotic) best friend.

Episodes

July 8, 2025 49 mins

Jackie takes up pickling, shoots up at a child’s birthday party in the park, and goes over her tour packing-list that will almost certainly get Josh searched by the TSA.

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Jackie mourns the death of quiet luxury, heralded by Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez’s childhood-trampoline-park-Chuck-E-Cheese style wedding invitations, grey CVS aisle carpet, and nonsensical guest list. Also, Sydney Sweeney’s collaboration with Basking Robbins - Gummy Bears!

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June 24, 2025 56 mins

Jackie recounts a harrowing experience trying to buy candle pillars for grandma Gloria, has a religious experience with a pink canvas Bottega jacket, and regurgitates the timeless story of backdoor Rhonda.

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June 18, 2025 59 mins

Jackie addresses some public scrutiny from a recent radio appearance, discusses what Labubu represents, talks shit on Andrew for party mix, and reveals her sister's childhood sapphic inclinations.

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June 14, 2025 47 mins

Jackie makes her highly anticipated (not really) return and attempts to breeze into 2018 with the finesse of a young Grace Kelly. Until she is confronted with a rat mid recording and has to seek shelter, refuge, alcohol and access to basic cable. New year, same bitch.    

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June 10, 2025 60 mins

Jackie is solo parenting this week and explains why Andrew's use of the words "Cozy" and "Chilly" is grounds for divorce. She also gives the single best piece of advice for high-schoolers, points out the consequences of Carrie Underwood turning her back on her gay fans, and makes her stance on Labubu clear.

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June 3, 2025 57 mins

Jackie advises JLo and Sydney Sweeney to approach life from a place of 'no', gives her opinion on personalized license plates and Disney adults, and answers (and criticizes) listeners' burning questions.

Dim the Lights Tickets: www.TheBitchBible.com/tour


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May 27, 2025 49 mins

Jackie discusses bearing the burden of other people's stupidity, her new obsession with Dianna Agron's longing for a simple life with früt, and plans her second wedding.

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May 20, 2025 60 mins

Jackie discusses her pre-menstrual cycle dreams, announces her (presumably) Sundance and Cannes award-winning live show, and gives updates on the Diddy and Blake Lively cases using her best legal jargon.

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Jackie is joined by Hannah Berner to discuss a myriad of things that will ultimately get them the presidential suite whilst burning in the depths of hell.

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May 13, 2025 52 mins

Jackie sits down with Stassi Schroeder to discuss Vanderpump Villa, their purple and yellow auras, Parseltongue, and the foundational principals and texture that can only be learned from the Real Housewives of Orange County.

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SKIMS: Shop...

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May 6, 2025 54 mins

Jackie reveals a recent medical diagnosis, discusses her influencer weekend in Cabo, and plans a tripych for her gallery wall of shame.

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April 29, 2025 47 mins

Jackie and Tinx go on their second podcast date and talk Stagecoach, Jackie’s brand trip rebellion, and Tinx’s sparkly new book, “Hotter in the Hamptons.”


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April 22, 2025 52 mins

Jackie sits down with Kristen Doute, the undisputed star of The Valley, to discuss how the cast has changed, her daughter's nursery decor, and busking (busking??).

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April 19, 2025 61 mins

Jackie is joined by her sister to reminisce on problematic child behavior, Alex McCord and a bunch of other shit Jackie can't remember because she doesn't use an outline.

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April 15, 2025 64 mins

Jackie gets an NAD+ injection and discovers the connection between hair extensions and brain worms.


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April 8, 2025 52 mins

Jackie hurls a fellatory insult at a woman standing in her parking spot, has a romantic encounter with her Uber driver, and reveals her idea for a shit talking Socratic seminar of a birthday party.

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April 1, 2025 54 mins

Jackie celebrates the glory of Kate Hudson, discusses side hustles and the perfect Deluxe Martini recipe, and writes Clyde a beautifully poignant email.

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This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLE

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March 25, 2025 54 mins

Jackie was feeling joyous and effervescent this weekend when she recorded a banger of an episode, but due to computer issues that episode is gone forever, and now Jackie is feeling REAL bitchy.

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March 18, 2025 49 mins

Jackie is joined by the one and only Max Bronner to discuss living in a deficit, Trader Joe's Tomato Leaf candles, and Jackie's trauma dump.

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