November 24, 2024 • 38 mins
Hey friend! This week on The Business Vault, I’m diving into a topic that’s close to my heart: managing expectations, fostering communication, and navigating relationships as a business owner. Whether it’s learning to set realistic goals for yourself, having those tough but honest conversations with your partner, or setting boundaries with friends and family, I’m sharing my personal experiences and actionable advice to help you build a business that works for you.
Let’s talk about the power of communication and how it can transform your relationships—both in life and business. Trust me, this is a conversation you don’t want to miss!
- Opening Reflection
Recap of the previous episode and a listener story that sparked today’s topic. - 02:00 The Reality of Business Expectations
Why balancing entrepreneurship with personal and financial responsibilities is critical. - 05:00 High Expectations vs. Realistic Goals
Managing self-expectations and learning to spark joy through small wins. - 08:00 Business and Personal Relationships
The dynamics of being a business owner in a intimate relationship - 12:00 Communication as a Superpower
How open communication can transform relationships with partners, clients, and yourself. - 19:00 The Friends and Family Trap - Being there for the Discount
Setting boundaries and dealing with “mates’ rates.” - 26:00 Building Resilient Relationships
Practical tips for fostering understanding and support in your ecosystem. - 35:00 Final Takeaways
Checking in with yourself, setting boundaries, and crafting a harmonious life.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:25):
Hey friend, it is so good to have you backhere after last week's episode where we
talked about The real cost of business.
I received a beautiful messagefrom a lady named Lynette up in
Queensland, she listened to thereal cost of starting a business.
And she was honestly,she was a bit hesitant.
She's just like, Paige, I actuallywanted to challenge you a little bit.
(00:48):
I'm that kind of person where I liketo test the waters and see if what
people are saying is actually true.
And she's just like, you know,actually, I honestly had the
massive belief that I could starta business completely for free.
And she's gone ahead and startedthe steps to Start her business.
And she's like, actually you're right.
There are so many small costs.
(01:10):
. But those costs add up.
So Lynette, thank you so muchfor sending me that message.
It was beautiful to hear thatwhat I'm putting out is being
well received because I am hereto just shed a light on all of it.
So then that way we can have realisticexpectations, which is what we're
going to focus our topic on today
(01:31):
The fact of having expectationswhen it comes to business.
So when we ended the podcast lastweek, we were talking about that.
Yes, there are costs to startinga business and you might need to
be employed simultaneously whilstalso you're starting your business.
You might have to do a couple ofthings to fund your new venture, or
(01:53):
when you've started your business, youmight need to dabble into employment
life . So many business owners dohave to do that every now and again,
and there's nothing wrong with that.
And I really want you to remember thatas you're going in, because a lot of
people come into business and they thinkthat, they'll be able to start full time.
Or they'll be able to, start part timeand then go full time and then that's
(02:15):
it, that's their, bread and butter.
that's everything that they'll be doingbasically from here now till eternity.
Sometimes in business things happenwhere you might just need a little
bit of a top up with respect to funds,you might need something stable.
And that is perfectly okay becausethat's how you survive in business
, sometimes you have to take a stepback in order to take a step forward.
(02:38):
There's so many entrepreneurs whohave that really high expectation
of themselves that once theystart the business, they're going
to remain as a business owner.
Now, when I came into business and Iwas completely done with the employment
world, I was so beyond having a boss.
I was like, I'm nevergetting back there again.
I'm not the employment kind of person.
(03:00):
And you know, throughout myentrepreneurial life, yes, I've
had to go get a couple of parttime jobs, or I've had to do
something to top up my finances.
Definitely not only fans or anything likethat, but , I've had to be creative when
it comes to finding money in differentways, just to keep things topped up and
keep the bills paid because you know,we've all got household bills to pay.
(03:22):
We've got fuel that we need toput in the car, groceries to
buy all kinds of stuff, right?
So it's not just ourbusiness when it comes to.
Needing money for our business.
We need money to liveand it's perfectly fine.
If you need to find otherways to bring money in to then
make yourself more successful.
I don't ever want you to thinkthat you needing to go get
(03:43):
a job is a step backwards.
it's only just going tohelp you move forward.
So today we're talking all abouthaving those expectations and also
the relationship side of business.
Because the expectations aresomething that you do need to be
mindful of when you're in business.
It's something you alwaysneed to keep in check.
And I say that from my worldof experiences of having
(04:05):
extraordinarily high expectations.
And if you do have that entrepreneurialmind and you've got that Go get a
mindset and you want to accomplish things.
People who are driven, theyhave high expectations.
They want the outcomes tobe really well received.
They want the outcomes tofuel them to move forward.
(04:26):
And it's important whenyou're an entrepreneur.
to have a little bit of a reality check onyour expectations because being realistic
is a skill that you need to developin business because it's really easy
to get caught up in high expectationsand wanting a really good outcome,
expecting highly of yourself, expectingyou to be able to perform at any
(04:48):
given moment at the drop of a hat.
And that's just not realistic becausethere's so many things that come
into our world as entrepreneursthat do affect our performance.
We don't talk about it, is that wecome into business and we think that
we're going to work that eight hours aday, but then we don't factor in that
(05:09):
as women, you know, we don't factorin that there is nearly a whole week
in our physiological cycle that wecan't be our 100 percent best self.
And that's not our own problem.
That's just how the worldworks, unfortunately.
and when we've gotkids, things are tiring.
There's a world of.
Intricate things when it comes to beinga business owner, which I touched on
(05:32):
in the very first episode, but we needto reign in on our expectations because
if you do have extraordinarily highexpectations of yourself and the outcomes,
you may find yourself that you'll be moredisappointed than what you are pleased.
And you want to keep your expectationsat a realistic level, because when
you get defeated with disappointment,you then lose a lot of motivation,
(05:56):
but you find your motivation.
In the times that really spark you somejoy and some hope and having those sparks
of joy and hope that falls down to havinglower expectations and exceeding them.
Now I have lived my lifewith very high expectations.
On myself, on my performance,on the dreams that I've got.
(06:19):
to be honest, I've had high expectationsof people around me, which has taught
me that the disappointment from.
Those high expectations not beingmet really only destroys me.
It doesn't destroy anyoneelse or anything else.
It's purely just an extra aggravationon my own heart that I've got.
And I don't want that.
(06:39):
So I've had to work really hard andtrust me for me personally, it is.
A massive feat to get over myhigh expectations of myself.
That's a very big work in progress for me.
And I know the same with a lotof other business owners as well.
They do have that very highexpectation of themselves.
So I want you to keep that in mindwhen you are coming into business,
(07:02):
when you're wanting to achieve anddrive for the next best thing Always
never stop achieving, keep yourexpectation levels, just realistic
for yourself, factoring your timeallocation that you've got, your monetary
allocation that you can put into it.
And what are some of the outsideinfluences as well that also
will affect your outcomes.
(07:22):
But when it comes to relationships andcosts in business, I'm particularly
going to talk about when you're ina relationship now with a partner
who helps make the decisions athome, who you have to have financial
contribution discussions with.
this will apply for if you'rein a relationship now, if you're
single and you might get intoa relationship in the future.
(07:45):
The relationship side of it can bereally interesting when it comes to
being a business owner, particularlyif you are in a relationship with
someone who is a employment job kindof person, because when you're not the
job kind of person, you both tend tohave very different views on things
and very different outcomes as well.
The job kind of person has the setexpectation of the money's going to
(08:09):
be regular, you wake up, you go towork, you do your job, even if you
don't feel like working, guess what?
You still get to turn up, you stillget paid, you still get to come home,
you get your sick leave, your annualleave, and when you're self employed.
Job people, depending onwho they are, there are some
really open minded job people.
And honestly, people who go workat a job, they inspire me because
(08:30):
I'm just like, Oh, look at you.
You're actually going and doing the thing.
And you know, you deal with bullshitpeople at work and you still somehow
managed to show up where I was like,if I deal with bullshit people,
I was like, Oh , I'm out of here.
See you later.
So when you're in a relationship withsomeone who's a job person and you're
an entrepreneurial mind and you want togo chase the silver butterflies, hoping
that you'll find some cash along theway and hoping to be a global success.
(08:53):
That's how we work.
So when you are in a relationship witha job type person, you need to have
that realistic expectation conversation.
one thing that I've learned throughoutmy business ownership life is I've
been married, I've been single andnow I'm with a phenomenal new partner.
those lots of relationships andmy relationship with myself , they
(09:18):
are all extraordinarily differentrelationships that I've had to
have different conversations with.
Every one of them , and I willbe completely honest is that when
I was back in my marriage, thecommunication wasn't great that we
actually lacked a lot of communicationand we were business partners.
As we owned a plantequipment hire business.
(09:39):
And it was quite successful But we cameacross a lot of head butting because
we both had different expectations andwe both had different needs and wants
of how we wanted to run the business.
and we also needed to look after thehouse My husband at the time, he also
worked in the mines, so he had the job.
it was a very interesting dynamic andI did not learn how to communicate.
(10:05):
I didn't know that thatwas a weakness of mine.
It wasn't only until I steppedout of the marriage, I was like,
Oh, okay, that's a weakness
we probably need to nip that in the bud.
Even though I communicate withpeople and I talk to people all
of the time, I actually wasn'table to vocalize my own feelings.
Fears and my own frustrations.
And I think that's probably somethingthat a lot of women tend to struggle
(10:28):
with, particularly when you're lookingat how society has worked for such a
long time, is that the men have been thebreadwinners us as women, we've kind of
have to make sure the house is all doneand all sorted the kids are looked after.
And that's, that's how we get ourreward is something gets paid for us.
And then we then in turn dothe job of the housewife.
(10:48):
Now I've got my own little traumawounds around that situation, but
we're not going to go into that today.
however, when I was in my marriage we hadthe two businesses, the plant equipment
and also a tattoo removal clinic.
We had both had no ideahow to run a business.
I had been around a lot of them.
I always had that kindof passion for business.
So, I have always been reallyinquisitive about it and learnt about
(11:11):
it so I knew the general directionas to where it was needed to go.
Plus it used to work for a law firm.
So I learnt a little bit aboutcommercial law along the way.
that was kind of like in thatpartnership, that was the blind
leading the blind and polar oppositesof what we needed, what we wanted.
It was a really important lesson thatcommunication is key, no matter what,
(11:35):
and I say communication is key in everysingle area of your life, the relationship
with yourself, relationship with others,how you communicate with your customers.
It is, communication really is . Suchan important skill to harness.
since I've come away from thatsituation, I've been working on
my communication all the time.
(11:57):
Now I probably think I over communicateand I overshare just because I have
found it to be really beneficial.
So I'm just like, Oh, I'm just goingto keep doing this more and more.
But when I was.
in the relationship with myself.
And yes, I had my daughter, so I had tomake really interesting decisions and I
had to have strong conversations withmyself when it came to my businesses and
(12:20):
the opportunities that I was receiving.
Because when I became single and Ihad my graphic design business, I
actually had a lot of doors startingto open for me in ways that I didn't
realize they could open for me.
But when I had all these opportunitiesopen for me, I needed to have the hard
conversations with myself and I neededto have a look at the decisions in a
(12:42):
realistic timeframe that while some ofthese opportunities, they looked like
they were covered in glitter and diamonds.
It was a realistic conversationthat I had needed to have that is
this opportunity going to give a.
reward for the time that Iput in for me and my daughter.
Is it going to be more time consuming thanwhat it is going to be paying the rent?
(13:07):
Is it going to be taking timeaway from my daughter as well?
, my daughter has always been thenumber one priority when it comes to
spending time with her to make sureI'm being the best mom and attentive
mom that I possibly could be.
But let's face it in business, that'snot always the case, particularly
when you're self employed and you'vegot all these balls in the air.
(13:27):
So I learned really quickly that Myexpectations of being able to do all
of the things, be all of the things toeveryone else, plus be a mum and be the
breadwinner for my own household, that was
hard, but I was able to do it because Ilearned so quickly on how to communicate
with myself and work out what risks Icould take, what risks I shouldn't take,
(13:51):
and what opportunities I just needed toput on the back burner for a little while.
But then it came to cominginto my new relationship.
Now, I said to my partner,Ben, right at the start we
were best friends for a while.
So I said to him.
Look, I'm not a job person.
I'm building my businesses.
, this is what I want to do.
(14:11):
These are my dreams.
These are my passions.
I'm going to lay it allout on the table for you.
And you can either take it or leave it.
And I said that in a very kind andloving tone, but needed to have
that conversation with him upfrontbecause I didn't want us going into a
relationship together and particularlymoving in together where we're having
this, this Difference of income.
(14:32):
And there is a massive difference ofincome when you are self employed and
running your businesses full time,the stability sometimes isn't there.
And it does take a while tobuild that stability in business.
There is fluctuations all the time.
There are dips, there are highs,there are lows, and that's where it's
really important to have the honestconversations with your partner to
(14:54):
say, this is where I am in my business.
This is what my dreams are.
These are what the expectations are,but this is what the reality is.
So when you are having theconversations with your loved one.
or the household decision maker as well,it's important for you to be transparent.
And it can be nerve wracking,particularly when you're a woman, to be
(15:15):
transparent about these kinds of things.
And if you're in a relationship whereyou're not allowed to be so transparent,
or it's scary to be transparent, I highlyrecommend to take it one step at a time.
Don't obviously overload your partnercompletely, but it is important to
start to build that transparency.
So then you can be.
(15:37):
Honest with them because that person whoyou're in the household with, and when
you're self employed, they are going tobe the person you fall to, when you're
in a job, you talk to them about yourday and all of the BS that's going on at
work, but you've actually got a lot ofresponsibilities when you're a business
(15:59):
owner, you might find that other people'sexpectations of you is high when
you come into being a business owner.
And that is from them wantingyou to succeed really quickly
to take the strain off them.
Because let's face it.
that is a strain on your partner.
Let's be realistic about that.
When you're in business and yourpartner is the one who's needing
(16:22):
to bring in the stable income tohelp fund your dream, that's a real
conversation that you've got to have.
Because there is something calledresentment and resentment kills so
many relationships and you don't wantto feel resentment against your partner.
You don't want to feel like youcan't make decisions because
you're not bringing in the income.
You don't want your partner to resentyou because you're working really hard,
(16:47):
but not making the money that you expect.
It's very different because whenyou are working for yourself,
you will do so many tasks.
You will work hours on end, days onend, months, years, whatever it is.
you'll work and do all these things, butthere will be no paycheck at the end of it
Yes, once you get your sales,that's amazing, and that is the
(17:08):
best excitement that there can be.
You've just got to then start to workbackwards, pay back the business or pay
back the household funds if you're pullingmoney in from the household and then
work out the profit and things like that.
There's some partners who can be reallyadaptive, there's some partners who aren't
adaptive and there's some partners whoare willing to learn to be adaptive.
(17:30):
And you've got to work out whatpartner you're dealing with when it
comes to starting your own business.
Now you might already know, and thefirst 12 months might be really easy.
You might be having the open conversationsand everything's going really well,
but then you might hit that 12 monthmark when you're in your business
(17:51):
and they're just like, Oh, okay.
All right.
You've been doing this for this long.
When is it actually goingto start seeing money?
Because we really need to takesome of the financial strain.
off the household andwe'd like to go do things.
You starting a businessis not just a you thing.
If you're in a relationship, ifyou're in a partnership or have
kids, it's a holistic thing.
(18:11):
You've got to factor in all thedifferent moving parts that are going
to be affected by you starting abusiness, Discommunication is key.
When you have the conversations and keeppeople up to date with where you are at
the business, then that starts to relievethe pressure off everyone a little bit.
And then that removes the resentment,but also it's not just the cost
(18:31):
and financial expectations thatneed to be laid out on the table.
. It's also having the conversation, ifyou are depleted, then your partner needs
to know all of the hats that you juggle.
Because it's not just going to a job,it's not just, that's your job title.
You are a clerical dataentry person, whatever it is.
(18:52):
You are the marketing guru.
You are the accountant, thebookkeeper, the designer.
You are the manufacturer, the engineer,social media strategist, you're the
communicator, the customer journeyrepresentative, you're the guest relations
expert, you are all of these things, , andthis can be really hard for partners to.
understand as to whatit is you actually do.
(19:14):
Are you sitting at your computer andare you on social media wasting time?
And sometimes they just don't really knowbecause they've never done it before.
So you can't judge them fornot understanding unless if you
explain it quite clearly andeven bring them in and show them.
There were so many occasions back whenI was single that when I would need
(19:35):
to put my daughter in front of the TV.
because I needed to just get twohours worth of bulk work done to
then be able to pay the bills forus to keep a roof over our head.
And there were so many timeswhere she would ask me, , mom,
can you come and play with me now?
Yes, soon, baby, I will be there so soon.
And when I actually bought herinto my office one day, I laid
(19:59):
out a little desk for her.
I printed off a whole bunch of blankinvoices that had my logo on them
because she knew my logo and my brand.
And I said to her, I said, okay,I said, today, you're going to
come to work with mum and we'regoing to learn how to do invoices.
Now, that was because shewas really interested about
maths and numbers and she was.
(20:20):
Coming in to do invoices and shestill does every now and again.
She comes in, she opens up one ofthe folders got, blank invoices out.
She starts adding them up,writes them all down, you know,
complete mythical invoices.
But I'm saying, okay, well, ifyou do this invoice for me, then
we can send it to this client.
And then guess what?
We can go get ice cream this afternoon.
How good would that be?
Because
we've got a little bit of rewardfor that time that we've just
(20:44):
put in, like, that's really cool.
And she's been able tounderstand from there.
Yeah.
Okay.
When mom's got to work, mom's got to work.
And that's where communicationis key with everyone.
Like with your children, if you do need tohave that privacy, when it comes to having
a door to your office or your studio.
And be like, okay, that's it, I'm in,I'm in work mode right now, I need
(21:08):
this time to be really peaceful andless chaotic . When I I first became
really involved in one of my businesses.
There was so much time, I reallycouldn't juggle all of it and
my daughter was quite young.
I put up on one of the Facebookgroups and said, mums, how the
(21:28):
hell do you run a business andhave a child at the same time?
Because I'm drowning here and I'mfeeling like I've got a lot of mum guilt
there was actually, there wasa number of comments and one
of the most common comments.
that came up was, it's okay toput your child in front of the TV.
It's okay to need to distract them.
And that really hit home becauseI had so much guilt about
(21:51):
putting her in front of the TV.
As society, we're taught yougotta minimize all of your
screen time as much as possible.
And for me, that wasn't realistic.
I could not be attentive 24 And Ihad a lot of shame around it because
I did not want to be that parent.
Also didn't want to get shamed byother parents because that's what I do.
But guess what?
That's what I did.
(22:11):
And we survived really well.
She's actually stilllearning all the time.
She survived.
I survived.
The businesses grew.
And having that little sacrifice, ithas actually helped, now, open more
doors up for more time with her.
So when you're looking atrelationships around you, your
key components and foremost iscommunication, and always will be.
(22:34):
I need you to keep that in mind, Becausewhen you've got open communication,
that's where people can ask youquestions, see what's going on.
And they can feel included too, becausewhen you're off in your own little
bubble all the time, your partner cansometimes feel a little bit excluded
from what you're doing, and theymight not understand it completely.
When you've got open communication, ithelps them ask questions, it helps them
(22:55):
be inquisitive, and helps them supportyou more so then they know what's going
on in your world without them feelinglike they're on the outside as well.
So I want you to focus on your partneras well while you're going through this.
Yes, it's another thing to juggle,, I will say this now I'm going to
be very careful when I say this,but it might ruffle some feathers.
(23:16):
When you've got a supportivepartner, every single thing is
so much easier in your life.
And I'm telling you thatfrom my experience right now.
Because I have got the mostincredible partner a girl could ask
for, and without his support, Iwouldn't be where I am today.
And I wouldn't have as much belief inwhat I can do without him being on the
(23:42):
sidelines telling me, yes, you can do it.
I believe in you.
Like there are days where Ihave absolutely rat shit days.
I'll be broken.
I may not have completed a task that Ireally had the expectation to complete, Or
I'm not seeing results as quick as I wantto, or a client hasn't paid for a month.
(24:02):
He's there on the side encouragingme every step of the way.
And it helps I think because I'vecommunicated to him exactly where
I want to be, what I want to bedoing, but also keeping in mind To
be like, okay, well, if funds aretight, I've got to go get another job.
Like that's fine.
That's nothing.
And it's a part time job, orif it's a one day a week job,
(24:24):
it's important to also remember topick up the slack when it's needed.
And not break yourself in the process,but if there is something that your
relationship is struggling with,like say for instance finances, if
funds are getting really tight, it'sokay to pick up the slack to help do
what you need to do for your family.
But also just never forgetabout your own dreams as well,
(24:46):
because that's really important.
But when you've got a supportivepartner, everything changes for you.
And you can have a supportivepartner with open communication.
And if you have a partnerwho's maybe not so supportive,
then please reach out to me.
I am a very big advocate when itcomes to having supportive people
around you, and I've also been in alot of situations where I've needed
(25:08):
to escape a not so ideal situation.
So I'm really good at finding ways tomake life a little bit easier for you.
But another lot of relationshipsthat we need to have a look at is
your immediate family, your friends,and their expectations of you as
well, and your expectations of them.
(25:29):
of how they're going to support you.
A lot of people come into business thinkthat I've got a lot of family and friends.
I've got 1500 followers on Facebook.
I'll be able to post on socialmedia and my business will be a
screaming success because all of myfamily and friends will buy from me.
That is one of the very dishearteningthings about business is that
(25:49):
your family and friends actually.
Don't support your business all thatwell, and you'll find that you'll get
more selfie likes than your businesspost likes will That's nothing against
your family or friends Please rememberthat don't take it personally if
they haven't supported you becauseThey've got their own things going on.
And unless it directly isvaluable to them and impacts
(26:12):
them, probably not going to care.
It is that they just generally have otherthings that they've got their focus on.
And they might not necessarily havethe funds as well to support you.
So you will actually findwhen you come into business.
And as you build your business, Yourclients will be more supportive than
what your family and friends will.
Your clients will shout your business fromthe rooftops over your friends and family.
(26:35):
So that is one expectation you reallyneed to shift when you come into business
is thinking that your friends andfamily are going to be the ones who are
going to make you a screaming success.
But also when you do start a business,particularly if you're starting
a business of something that's.
valuable to your friends and if it'sa high value, high ticket item or
(26:56):
service, then you may find that youwill have friends coming out of the
woodworks who will want things from you
Now in Australia, we have that thingcalled mates rates that's where your
friends come into your business andthey're just like, Oh, I'm your friend.
That means you love me.
That means you'll give me a discount.
And that is so not how it shouldbe, but that's the expectation.
(27:19):
That's just how it's all gone aboutbecause we all like discounts.
And we like getting things a littlebit easier than what it would be if we
were to need to go to get it ourselves.
And that's one thing that I havefound along the way is where
I've got friends in business andthey want to give me mates rates.
And I'm just like, actually, no.
No, no, I want to pay give me the fullrate that , you would expect anyone else
(27:43):
to pay and better yet, can you please justeven put some more money on top of that?
Because I just want to support you and Ithink you're going to do an amazing job.
But whereas I had a conversation with myex husband one day, we were talking about
a friend of ours, who's a mechanic, Oneof the best people in the whole world.
And my previous relationship was verymuch all about, we need to save money.
(28:06):
We're going to get it cheap.
That's what we need to do.
And we're going to walk onanyone to try and get there.
Which is not what I was about at all,because I have this strong belief
that mates rates should not exist.
That's because I believe peopleneed to be shown their value.
And I think their friends arecoming in asking for mates rates.
(28:26):
They're automatically discounting thevalue that you've got, whether they
know they're doing it or not, but.
If you set your prices at a certainlevel, they need to respect that
and they need to honor that.
And if they're your friends, they wouldsee that you are worth that value.
Instead of just trying to get a quickwin for them, they've got to understand
that they need to be looking afteryou just as much as you're looking
(28:48):
after them because you're helpingthem live a great life as well.
Like you want your friends to succeed.
You want them to be traveling aroundthe world and If you're constantly
undercutting them or asking them fora discount, they takes them one step
back from being able to do that.
So yes, I had an interesting conversationone day where I said to my ex partner,
(29:08):
Why are you asking fordiscounts all the time?
I don't understand why you're doing that.
He should be paid what he'sworth, what he's asking for.
And my ex husband and I had two verydifferent opinions when it came to.
mates rates.
I finished the conversation andI was like, we're not friends
with him to get discounts.
(29:30):
We're friends with him because we lovehim and he does a lot of work for us.
And it was just two different mindsets,which that's all it comes down to.
There is either the supportive mindsetor there is the, I'm just going to
take what I can get purely for myself
Time is the same amountof time for everyone.
If you're putting in your time for acustomer and then your friend comes
(29:53):
along and asks that same amount oftime, but then asks for it to be
half the price, don't work like that.
You're not going to get that time back.
So many people probably have differentopinions when it comes to mates
rates like now for me, when I'm givingout my services, I love my friends.
I want them to succeed.
So I was like, yes, please takeall of my things, take everything.
(30:14):
I have no boundaries.
I've come to learn my boundaries havebeen fairly minimal when it comes to
giving my friends things for free.
And I have learnedthrough doing that though.
It has been a very valuablelesson because I have actually
learned who my real friends areand who aren't my real friends.
Because there will be people who willcome into your life, they'll take
(30:36):
the piss, they'll take advantage,and They won't see any value in you,
and you'll work tirelessly to gettheir approval or get their money.
you might find they might not even payyou, which would be really depressing.
What your boundaries are whenit comes to giving discounts
and receiving discounts as well.
They're two very importantthings to consider.
(30:57):
But when you've got friends who havecome out of the woodworks asking for
discounts, just think twice beforeyou give them discounts because
they might just be asking you for adiscount purely to take advantage.
Not because they actually believe inwhat you do or what services you bring.
So in business, you will find some ofyour close personal relationships may
(31:19):
fall by the wayside because you'llfind out who they actually really are.
It's like Oprah Winfrey once said, when Ibecame really successful, I actually had
no idea how many cousins I had until theyall started coming out of the woodworks.
Which meant that as you becamesuccessful, all of her cousins come
(31:39):
out of nowhere to be like, Hey,can you please give me some money?
You're successful.
I'm your family.
You need to share the love.
And that is so not the case.
So yes, you might find thatwhen you are just starting your
business, no one will care.
No one will really giveyou the support that.
You're desperately wanting and needingto think people don't understand that you
(31:59):
really need their support in business.
But whereas when you get reallysuccessful, you'll find you've got a
lot more people supporting you thanyou can poke a stick at because they
want something from you, or theyjust want to be able to use your name
to be like, Oh, I know that person.
Yeah, they're my friend.
So when it comes to family and friends,make sure you put your boundaries in place
(32:21):
and tell them exactly what you're needingas a business owner and also their friend.
Because they should value youat the end of the day as well.
And if you do give yourfriends a special rate.
Or a discounted rate, or you'regiving them something for free.
Make sure you make it clear ofwhat it would normally cost.
So then they appreciate the amount ofmoney that they've saved and that they can
(32:44):
start to understand your worth as well.
But also when you are givingthem a discount, ask them
to give you something back.
Ask them to write a review for youon Google or ask them to share your
business a few times with friendsor family or on their social media.
Because reviews and word of mouth arethe absolute best form of marketing
And your friends should wantto shout your business from the
(33:04):
rooftops as well, especially ifthey've received something from you.
I want you to remember that whensomeone's asking you to discount
your prices, it's equivalent to anemployer asking you to work eight
hours, but only paying you for four.
It's just discounting your value.
You wouldn't do that inthe employment world.
So just take that into considerationwhen you are discounting your prices.
(33:27):
Gosh, this is something that Iwish I had learnt back right at the
start of my entrepreneurial journey.
And it would have saved me a lotof friends a lot of heartache a
lot of time and money wasted.
It has been a shockinglearning experience.
But some things I want you to takeaway from today's episode is that
communication is the foundation ofany healthy relationship, whether it's
(33:47):
in your business, whether it's withyourself, your friends or family, and
particularly your relationships, and youneed to start opening up those channels.
If you are struggling with thecommunication side of things, if you're
not really sure how to communicate,you need to be able to listen,
listening to what the problem is, orlistening to what others needs are.
(34:08):
And also importantly, listen to yourselfas what your needs and wants are as well.
You need to take a moment to reallyhear what others are saying, but
then you also need to be ableto ask open ended questions.
And this is very much in the way ofhow or what, instead of just doing
yes or no questions, ask your partner,how can I help improve our situation?
(34:33):
What is it that you need from me to helpsupport you or support our household?
And
Practice transparency.
Be honest, even if being vulnerable isnot a strong suit of yours, I know for
me vulnerability has not at all been astrength of mine, but when you share your
thoughts and your feelings openly, itjust invites others to do the same and
(34:55):
it helps give all of your relationshipsa little home to build and grow into.
You also need to be ableto set boundaries as well.
Communicate your limits respectfully.
Because this then fostersmutual understanding.
It helps relieve resentment as wellbecause resentment is a huge problem.
And when resentment starts to build, itstarts to kill everything in its path.
(35:19):
So that's where when you setboundaries, You then minimize the
impacts of resentment, but alsoyou need to check in with yourself.
Very, very important.
This is my last takeaway for you ischeck in with yourself because if you're
not having honest conversations withyourself, how are you meant to have
honest conversations with other people?
And you can do this by writingdown what your needs and wants
(35:42):
are and your goals and emotions.
That's important.
But if you struggle to write thingsdown, even draw it or speak to yourself
in front of the mirror, or even justhave a conversation like a lunatic.
I always have conversations out in theopen air where I'm talking to myself.
There's that saying that says,if you're seeing me talk to
(36:05):
myself, I'm self employed.
So don't worry.
I'm just having a staff meeting.
And that's just what you'vegot to look at it like.
It's not crazy, it's not psychotic, youdon't need to be checked into a mental
ward, but vocalizing it, writing itdown, or putting it out into the world
what your needs and wants are, andreally start to check in on yourself
because that's incredibly important.
(36:26):
Because that's the first step,particularly when it comes to overcoming
frictions, when it comes to communication,if it's not a strong suit of yours but
when you start to open these channels,it does take time and it takes patience,
but when everything is flowing,
it pays off tenfold . It just givesyou a more harmonious ecosystem,
both in life and business.
And it's really important.
(36:46):
So thanks for joining in on this episode.
I really hope that the conversationsand the communication start opening
up for you because it will helpyou for the life of your business
and also your existence as well.
And if anyone shows you completeresistance when it comes to you trying
to open up your communication channels,either show them the door or just reach
(37:06):
out to me and I can help you strategizeand we can overcome it together.
But it's really important for you tobe seen, to be heard, and for people
to understand what you're doing soyou can achieve your dreams with as
little bumps and bruises as possible.
(37:27):
If you like today's episode ofthe business vault, be sure to
subscribe and share with your fellowentrepreneurial friends who might just
need some help along their journey too.
And if you are dreaming of starting yourown business, I have everything you need
to get started from resources and toolsto one of the world's most comprehensive
business startup courses, where you getto learn every single thing you need when
it comes to starting your business andliving a holistic entrepreneurial life.
(37:50):
So head to thebusinessfaults.
com.
au and start your journey with theright guidance and information.
Until I see you on the nextepisode, have fun and don't forget
to always chase your dreams.
Hey friend, it is so good to have you backhere after last week's episode where we
talked about The real cost of business.
I received a beautiful messagefrom a lady named Lynette up in
Queensland, she listened to thereal cost of starting a business.
And she was honestly,she was a bit hesitant.
She's just like, Paige, I actuallywanted to challenge you a little bit.
(00:48):
I'm that kind of person where I liketo test the waters and see if what
people are saying is actually true.
And she's just like, you know,actually, I honestly had the
massive belief that I could starta business completely for free.
And she's gone ahead and startedthe steps to Start her business.
And she's like, actually you're right.
There are so many small costs.
(01:10):
. But those costs add up.
So Lynette, thank you so muchfor sending me that message.
It was beautiful to hear thatwhat I'm putting out is being
well received because I am hereto just shed a light on all of it.
So then that way we can have realisticexpectations, which is what we're
going to focus our topic on today
(01:31):
The fact of having expectationswhen it comes to business.
So when we ended the podcast lastweek, we were talking about that.
Yes, there are costs to startinga business and you might need to
be employed simultaneously whilstalso you're starting your business.
You might have to do a couple ofthings to fund your new venture, or
(01:53):
when you've started your business, youmight need to dabble into employment
life . So many business owners dohave to do that every now and again,
and there's nothing wrong with that.
And I really want you to remember thatas you're going in, because a lot of
people come into business and they thinkthat, they'll be able to start full time.
Or they'll be able to, start part timeand then go full time and then that's
(02:15):
it, that's their, bread and butter.
that's everything that they'll be doingbasically from here now till eternity.
Sometimes in business things happenwhere you might just need a little
bit of a top up with respect to funds,you might need something stable.
And that is perfectly okay becausethat's how you survive in business
, sometimes you have to take a stepback in order to take a step forward.
(02:38):
There's so many entrepreneurs whohave that really high expectation
of themselves that once theystart the business, they're going
to remain as a business owner.
Now, when I came into business and Iwas completely done with the employment
world, I was so beyond having a boss.
I was like, I'm nevergetting back there again.
I'm not the employment kind of person.
(03:00):
And you know, throughout myentrepreneurial life, yes, I've
had to go get a couple of parttime jobs, or I've had to do
something to top up my finances.
Definitely not only fans or anything likethat, but , I've had to be creative when
it comes to finding money in differentways, just to keep things topped up and
keep the bills paid because you know,we've all got household bills to pay.
(03:22):
We've got fuel that we need toput in the car, groceries to
buy all kinds of stuff, right?
So it's not just ourbusiness when it comes to.
Needing money for our business.
We need money to liveand it's perfectly fine.
If you need to find otherways to bring money in to then
make yourself more successful.
I don't ever want you to thinkthat you needing to go get
(03:43):
a job is a step backwards.
it's only just going tohelp you move forward.
So today we're talking all abouthaving those expectations and also
the relationship side of business.
Because the expectations aresomething that you do need to be
mindful of when you're in business.
It's something you alwaysneed to keep in check.
And I say that from my worldof experiences of having
(04:05):
extraordinarily high expectations.
And if you do have that entrepreneurialmind and you've got that Go get a
mindset and you want to accomplish things.
People who are driven, theyhave high expectations.
They want the outcomes tobe really well received.
They want the outcomes tofuel them to move forward.
(04:26):
And it's important whenyou're an entrepreneur.
to have a little bit of a reality check onyour expectations because being realistic
is a skill that you need to developin business because it's really easy
to get caught up in high expectationsand wanting a really good outcome,
expecting highly of yourself, expectingyou to be able to perform at any
(04:48):
given moment at the drop of a hat.
And that's just not realistic becausethere's so many things that come
into our world as entrepreneursthat do affect our performance.
We don't talk about it, is that wecome into business and we think that
we're going to work that eight hours aday, but then we don't factor in that
(05:09):
as women, you know, we don't factorin that there is nearly a whole week
in our physiological cycle that wecan't be our 100 percent best self.
And that's not our own problem.
That's just how the worldworks, unfortunately.
and when we've gotkids, things are tiring.
There's a world of.
Intricate things when it comes to beinga business owner, which I touched on
(05:32):
in the very first episode, but we needto reign in on our expectations because
if you do have extraordinarily highexpectations of yourself and the outcomes,
you may find yourself that you'll be moredisappointed than what you are pleased.
And you want to keep your expectationsat a realistic level, because when
you get defeated with disappointment,you then lose a lot of motivation,
(05:56):
but you find your motivation.
In the times that really spark you somejoy and some hope and having those sparks
of joy and hope that falls down to havinglower expectations and exceeding them.
Now I have lived my lifewith very high expectations.
On myself, on my performance,on the dreams that I've got.
(06:19):
to be honest, I've had high expectationsof people around me, which has taught
me that the disappointment from.
Those high expectations not beingmet really only destroys me.
It doesn't destroy anyoneelse or anything else.
It's purely just an extra aggravationon my own heart that I've got.
And I don't want that.
(06:39):
So I've had to work really hard andtrust me for me personally, it is.
A massive feat to get over myhigh expectations of myself.
That's a very big work in progress for me.
And I know the same with a lotof other business owners as well.
They do have that very highexpectation of themselves.
So I want you to keep that in mindwhen you are coming into business,
(07:02):
when you're wanting to achieve anddrive for the next best thing Always
never stop achieving, keep yourexpectation levels, just realistic
for yourself, factoring your timeallocation that you've got, your monetary
allocation that you can put into it.
And what are some of the outsideinfluences as well that also
will affect your outcomes.
(07:22):
But when it comes to relationships andcosts in business, I'm particularly
going to talk about when you're ina relationship now with a partner
who helps make the decisions athome, who you have to have financial
contribution discussions with.
this will apply for if you'rein a relationship now, if you're
single and you might get intoa relationship in the future.
(07:45):
The relationship side of it can bereally interesting when it comes to
being a business owner, particularlyif you are in a relationship with
someone who is a employment job kindof person, because when you're not the
job kind of person, you both tend tohave very different views on things
and very different outcomes as well.
The job kind of person has the setexpectation of the money's going to
(08:09):
be regular, you wake up, you go towork, you do your job, even if you
don't feel like working, guess what?
You still get to turn up, you stillget paid, you still get to come home,
you get your sick leave, your annualleave, and when you're self employed.
Job people, depending onwho they are, there are some
really open minded job people.
And honestly, people who go workat a job, they inspire me because
(08:30):
I'm just like, Oh, look at you.
You're actually going and doing the thing.
And you know, you deal with bullshitpeople at work and you still somehow
managed to show up where I was like,if I deal with bullshit people,
I was like, Oh , I'm out of here.
See you later.
So when you're in a relationship withsomeone who's a job person and you're
an entrepreneurial mind and you want togo chase the silver butterflies, hoping
that you'll find some cash along theway and hoping to be a global success.
(08:53):
That's how we work.
So when you are in a relationship witha job type person, you need to have
that realistic expectation conversation.
one thing that I've learned throughoutmy business ownership life is I've
been married, I've been single andnow I'm with a phenomenal new partner.
those lots of relationships andmy relationship with myself , they
(09:18):
are all extraordinarily differentrelationships that I've had to
have different conversations with.
Every one of them , and I willbe completely honest is that when
I was back in my marriage, thecommunication wasn't great that we
actually lacked a lot of communicationand we were business partners.
As we owned a plantequipment hire business.
(09:39):
And it was quite successful But we cameacross a lot of head butting because
we both had different expectations andwe both had different needs and wants
of how we wanted to run the business.
and we also needed to look after thehouse My husband at the time, he also
worked in the mines, so he had the job.
it was a very interesting dynamic andI did not learn how to communicate.
(10:05):
I didn't know that thatwas a weakness of mine.
It wasn't only until I steppedout of the marriage, I was like,
Oh, okay, that's a weakness
we probably need to nip that in the bud.
Even though I communicate withpeople and I talk to people all
of the time, I actually wasn'table to vocalize my own feelings.
Fears and my own frustrations.
And I think that's probably somethingthat a lot of women tend to struggle
(10:28):
with, particularly when you're lookingat how society has worked for such a
long time, is that the men have been thebreadwinners us as women, we've kind of
have to make sure the house is all doneand all sorted the kids are looked after.
And that's, that's how we get ourreward is something gets paid for us.
And then we then in turn dothe job of the housewife.
(10:48):
Now I've got my own little traumawounds around that situation, but
we're not going to go into that today.
however, when I was in my marriage we hadthe two businesses, the plant equipment
and also a tattoo removal clinic.
We had both had no ideahow to run a business.
I had been around a lot of them.
I always had that kindof passion for business.
So, I have always been reallyinquisitive about it and learnt about
(11:11):
it so I knew the general directionas to where it was needed to go.
Plus it used to work for a law firm.
So I learnt a little bit aboutcommercial law along the way.
that was kind of like in thatpartnership, that was the blind
leading the blind and polar oppositesof what we needed, what we wanted.
It was a really important lesson thatcommunication is key, no matter what,
(11:35):
and I say communication is key in everysingle area of your life, the relationship
with yourself, relationship with others,how you communicate with your customers.
It is, communication really is . Suchan important skill to harness.
since I've come away from thatsituation, I've been working on
my communication all the time.
(11:57):
Now I probably think I over communicateand I overshare just because I have
found it to be really beneficial.
So I'm just like, Oh, I'm just goingto keep doing this more and more.
But when I was.
in the relationship with myself.
And yes, I had my daughter, so I had tomake really interesting decisions and I
had to have strong conversations withmyself when it came to my businesses and
(12:20):
the opportunities that I was receiving.
Because when I became single and Ihad my graphic design business, I
actually had a lot of doors startingto open for me in ways that I didn't
realize they could open for me.
But when I had all these opportunitiesopen for me, I needed to have the hard
conversations with myself and I neededto have a look at the decisions in a
(12:42):
realistic timeframe that while some ofthese opportunities, they looked like
they were covered in glitter and diamonds.
It was a realistic conversationthat I had needed to have that is
this opportunity going to give a.
reward for the time that Iput in for me and my daughter.
Is it going to be more time consuming thanwhat it is going to be paying the rent?
(13:07):
Is it going to be taking timeaway from my daughter as well?
, my daughter has always been thenumber one priority when it comes to
spending time with her to make sureI'm being the best mom and attentive
mom that I possibly could be.
But let's face it in business, that'snot always the case, particularly
when you're self employed and you'vegot all these balls in the air.
(13:27):
So I learned really quickly that Myexpectations of being able to do all
of the things, be all of the things toeveryone else, plus be a mum and be the
breadwinner for my own household, that was
hard, but I was able to do it because Ilearned so quickly on how to communicate
with myself and work out what risks Icould take, what risks I shouldn't take,
(13:51):
and what opportunities I just needed toput on the back burner for a little while.
But then it came to cominginto my new relationship.
Now, I said to my partner,Ben, right at the start we
were best friends for a while.
So I said to him.
Look, I'm not a job person.
I'm building my businesses.
, this is what I want to do.
(14:11):
These are my dreams.
These are my passions.
I'm going to lay it allout on the table for you.
And you can either take it or leave it.
And I said that in a very kind andloving tone, but needed to have
that conversation with him upfrontbecause I didn't want us going into a
relationship together and particularlymoving in together where we're having
this, this Difference of income.
(14:32):
And there is a massive difference ofincome when you are self employed and
running your businesses full time,the stability sometimes isn't there.
And it does take a while tobuild that stability in business.
There is fluctuations all the time.
There are dips, there are highs,there are lows, and that's where it's
really important to have the honestconversations with your partner to
(14:54):
say, this is where I am in my business.
This is what my dreams are.
These are what the expectations are,but this is what the reality is.
So when you are having theconversations with your loved one.
or the household decision maker as well,it's important for you to be transparent.
And it can be nerve wracking,particularly when you're a woman, to be
(15:15):
transparent about these kinds of things.
And if you're in a relationship whereyou're not allowed to be so transparent,
or it's scary to be transparent, I highlyrecommend to take it one step at a time.
Don't obviously overload your partnercompletely, but it is important to
start to build that transparency.
So then you can be.
(15:37):
Honest with them because that person whoyou're in the household with, and when
you're self employed, they are going tobe the person you fall to, when you're
in a job, you talk to them about yourday and all of the BS that's going on at
work, but you've actually got a lot ofresponsibilities when you're a business
(15:59):
owner, you might find that other people'sexpectations of you is high when
you come into being a business owner.
And that is from them wantingyou to succeed really quickly
to take the strain off them.
Because let's face it.
that is a strain on your partner.
Let's be realistic about that.
When you're in business and yourpartner is the one who's needing
(16:22):
to bring in the stable income tohelp fund your dream, that's a real
conversation that you've got to have.
Because there is something calledresentment and resentment kills so
many relationships and you don't wantto feel resentment against your partner.
You don't want to feel like youcan't make decisions because
you're not bringing in the income.
You don't want your partner to resentyou because you're working really hard,
(16:47):
but not making the money that you expect.
It's very different because whenyou are working for yourself,
you will do so many tasks.
You will work hours on end, days onend, months, years, whatever it is.
you'll work and do all these things, butthere will be no paycheck at the end of it
Yes, once you get your sales,that's amazing, and that is the
(17:08):
best excitement that there can be.
You've just got to then start to workbackwards, pay back the business or pay
back the household funds if you're pullingmoney in from the household and then
work out the profit and things like that.
There's some partners who can be reallyadaptive, there's some partners who aren't
adaptive and there's some partners whoare willing to learn to be adaptive.
(17:30):
And you've got to work out whatpartner you're dealing with when it
comes to starting your own business.
Now you might already know, and thefirst 12 months might be really easy.
You might be having the open conversationsand everything's going really well,
but then you might hit that 12 monthmark when you're in your business
(17:51):
and they're just like, Oh, okay.
All right.
You've been doing this for this long.
When is it actually goingto start seeing money?
Because we really need to takesome of the financial strain.
off the household andwe'd like to go do things.
You starting a businessis not just a you thing.
If you're in a relationship, ifyou're in a partnership or have
kids, it's a holistic thing.
(18:11):
You've got to factor in all thedifferent moving parts that are going
to be affected by you starting abusiness, Discommunication is key.
When you have the conversations and keeppeople up to date with where you are at
the business, then that starts to relievethe pressure off everyone a little bit.
And then that removes the resentment,but also it's not just the cost
(18:31):
and financial expectations thatneed to be laid out on the table.
. It's also having the conversation, ifyou are depleted, then your partner needs
to know all of the hats that you juggle.
Because it's not just going to a job,it's not just, that's your job title.
You are a clerical dataentry person, whatever it is.
(18:52):
You are the marketing guru.
You are the accountant, thebookkeeper, the designer.
You are the manufacturer, the engineer,social media strategist, you're the
communicator, the customer journeyrepresentative, you're the guest relations
expert, you are all of these things, , andthis can be really hard for partners to.
understand as to whatit is you actually do.
(19:14):
Are you sitting at your computer andare you on social media wasting time?
And sometimes they just don't really knowbecause they've never done it before.
So you can't judge them fornot understanding unless if you
explain it quite clearly andeven bring them in and show them.
There were so many occasions back whenI was single that when I would need
(19:35):
to put my daughter in front of the TV.
because I needed to just get twohours worth of bulk work done to
then be able to pay the bills forus to keep a roof over our head.
And there were so many timeswhere she would ask me, , mom,
can you come and play with me now?
Yes, soon, baby, I will be there so soon.
And when I actually bought herinto my office one day, I laid
(19:59):
out a little desk for her.
I printed off a whole bunch of blankinvoices that had my logo on them
because she knew my logo and my brand.
And I said to her, I said, okay,I said, today, you're going to
come to work with mum and we'regoing to learn how to do invoices.
Now, that was because shewas really interested about
maths and numbers and she was.
(20:20):
Coming in to do invoices and shestill does every now and again.
She comes in, she opens up one ofthe folders got, blank invoices out.
She starts adding them up,writes them all down, you know,
complete mythical invoices.
But I'm saying, okay, well, ifyou do this invoice for me, then
we can send it to this client.
And then guess what?
We can go get ice cream this afternoon.
How good would that be?
Because
we've got a little bit of rewardfor that time that we've just
(20:44):
put in, like, that's really cool.
And she's been able tounderstand from there.
Yeah.
Okay.
When mom's got to work, mom's got to work.
And that's where communicationis key with everyone.
Like with your children, if you do need tohave that privacy, when it comes to having
a door to your office or your studio.
And be like, okay, that's it, I'm in,I'm in work mode right now, I need
(21:08):
this time to be really peaceful andless chaotic . When I I first became
really involved in one of my businesses.
There was so much time, I reallycouldn't juggle all of it and
my daughter was quite young.
I put up on one of the Facebookgroups and said, mums, how the
(21:28):
hell do you run a business andhave a child at the same time?
Because I'm drowning here and I'mfeeling like I've got a lot of mum guilt
there was actually, there wasa number of comments and one
of the most common comments.
that came up was, it's okay toput your child in front of the TV.
It's okay to need to distract them.
And that really hit home becauseI had so much guilt about
(21:51):
putting her in front of the TV.
As society, we're taught yougotta minimize all of your
screen time as much as possible.
And for me, that wasn't realistic.
I could not be attentive 24 And Ihad a lot of shame around it because
I did not want to be that parent.
Also didn't want to get shamed byother parents because that's what I do.
But guess what?
That's what I did.
(22:11):
And we survived really well.
She's actually stilllearning all the time.
She survived.
I survived.
The businesses grew.
And having that little sacrifice, ithas actually helped, now, open more
doors up for more time with her.
So when you're looking atrelationships around you, your
key components and foremost iscommunication, and always will be.
(22:34):
I need you to keep that in mind, Becausewhen you've got open communication,
that's where people can ask youquestions, see what's going on.
And they can feel included too, becausewhen you're off in your own little
bubble all the time, your partner cansometimes feel a little bit excluded
from what you're doing, and theymight not understand it completely.
When you've got open communication, ithelps them ask questions, it helps them
(22:55):
be inquisitive, and helps them supportyou more so then they know what's going
on in your world without them feelinglike they're on the outside as well.
So I want you to focus on your partneras well while you're going through this.
Yes, it's another thing to juggle,, I will say this now I'm going to
be very careful when I say this,but it might ruffle some feathers.
(23:16):
When you've got a supportivepartner, every single thing is
so much easier in your life.
And I'm telling you thatfrom my experience right now.
Because I have got the mostincredible partner a girl could ask
for, and without his support, Iwouldn't be where I am today.
And I wouldn't have as much belief inwhat I can do without him being on the
(23:42):
sidelines telling me, yes, you can do it.
I believe in you.
Like there are days where Ihave absolutely rat shit days.
I'll be broken.
I may not have completed a task that Ireally had the expectation to complete, Or
I'm not seeing results as quick as I wantto, or a client hasn't paid for a month.
(24:02):
He's there on the side encouragingme every step of the way.
And it helps I think because I'vecommunicated to him exactly where
I want to be, what I want to bedoing, but also keeping in mind To
be like, okay, well, if funds aretight, I've got to go get another job.
Like that's fine.
That's nothing.
And it's a part time job, orif it's a one day a week job,
(24:24):
it's important to also remember topick up the slack when it's needed.
And not break yourself in the process,but if there is something that your
relationship is struggling with,like say for instance finances, if
funds are getting really tight, it'sokay to pick up the slack to help do
what you need to do for your family.
But also just never forgetabout your own dreams as well,
(24:46):
because that's really important.
But when you've got a supportivepartner, everything changes for you.
And you can have a supportivepartner with open communication.
And if you have a partnerwho's maybe not so supportive,
then please reach out to me.
I am a very big advocate when itcomes to having supportive people
around you, and I've also been in alot of situations where I've needed
(25:08):
to escape a not so ideal situation.
So I'm really good at finding ways tomake life a little bit easier for you.
But another lot of relationshipsthat we need to have a look at is
your immediate family, your friends,and their expectations of you as
well, and your expectations of them.
(25:29):
of how they're going to support you.
A lot of people come into business thinkthat I've got a lot of family and friends.
I've got 1500 followers on Facebook.
I'll be able to post on socialmedia and my business will be a
screaming success because all of myfamily and friends will buy from me.
That is one of the very dishearteningthings about business is that
(25:49):
your family and friends actually.
Don't support your business all thatwell, and you'll find that you'll get
more selfie likes than your businesspost likes will That's nothing against
your family or friends Please rememberthat don't take it personally if
they haven't supported you becauseThey've got their own things going on.
And unless it directly isvaluable to them and impacts
(26:12):
them, probably not going to care.
It is that they just generally have otherthings that they've got their focus on.
And they might not necessarily havethe funds as well to support you.
So you will actually findwhen you come into business.
And as you build your business, Yourclients will be more supportive than
what your family and friends will.
Your clients will shout your business fromthe rooftops over your friends and family.
(26:35):
So that is one expectation you reallyneed to shift when you come into business
is thinking that your friends andfamily are going to be the ones who are
going to make you a screaming success.
But also when you do start a business,particularly if you're starting
a business of something that's.
valuable to your friends and if it'sa high value, high ticket item or
(26:56):
service, then you may find that youwill have friends coming out of the
woodworks who will want things from you
Now in Australia, we have that thingcalled mates rates that's where your
friends come into your business andthey're just like, Oh, I'm your friend.
That means you love me.
That means you'll give me a discount.
And that is so not how it shouldbe, but that's the expectation.
(27:19):
That's just how it's all gone aboutbecause we all like discounts.
And we like getting things a littlebit easier than what it would be if we
were to need to go to get it ourselves.
And that's one thing that I havefound along the way is where
I've got friends in business andthey want to give me mates rates.
And I'm just like, actually, no.
No, no, I want to pay give me the fullrate that , you would expect anyone else
(27:43):
to pay and better yet, can you please justeven put some more money on top of that?
Because I just want to support you and Ithink you're going to do an amazing job.
But whereas I had a conversation with myex husband one day, we were talking about
a friend of ours, who's a mechanic, Oneof the best people in the whole world.
And my previous relationship was verymuch all about, we need to save money.
(28:06):
We're going to get it cheap.
That's what we need to do.
And we're going to walk onanyone to try and get there.
Which is not what I was about at all,because I have this strong belief
that mates rates should not exist.
That's because I believe peopleneed to be shown their value.
And I think their friends arecoming in asking for mates rates.
(28:26):
They're automatically discounting thevalue that you've got, whether they
know they're doing it or not, but.
If you set your prices at a certainlevel, they need to respect that
and they need to honor that.
And if they're your friends, they wouldsee that you are worth that value.
Instead of just trying to get a quickwin for them, they've got to understand
that they need to be looking afteryou just as much as you're looking
(28:48):
after them because you're helpingthem live a great life as well.
Like you want your friends to succeed.
You want them to be traveling aroundthe world and If you're constantly
undercutting them or asking them fora discount, they takes them one step
back from being able to do that.
So yes, I had an interesting conversationone day where I said to my ex partner,
(29:08):
Why are you asking fordiscounts all the time?
I don't understand why you're doing that.
He should be paid what he'sworth, what he's asking for.
And my ex husband and I had two verydifferent opinions when it came to.
mates rates.
I finished the conversation andI was like, we're not friends
with him to get discounts.
(29:30):
We're friends with him because we lovehim and he does a lot of work for us.
And it was just two different mindsets,which that's all it comes down to.
There is either the supportive mindsetor there is the, I'm just going to
take what I can get purely for myself
Time is the same amountof time for everyone.
If you're putting in your time for acustomer and then your friend comes
(29:53):
along and asks that same amount oftime, but then asks for it to be
half the price, don't work like that.
You're not going to get that time back.
So many people probably have differentopinions when it comes to mates
rates like now for me, when I'm givingout my services, I love my friends.
I want them to succeed.
So I was like, yes, please takeall of my things, take everything.
(30:14):
I have no boundaries.
I've come to learn my boundaries havebeen fairly minimal when it comes to
giving my friends things for free.
And I have learnedthrough doing that though.
It has been a very valuablelesson because I have actually
learned who my real friends areand who aren't my real friends.
Because there will be people who willcome into your life, they'll take
(30:36):
the piss, they'll take advantage,and They won't see any value in you,
and you'll work tirelessly to gettheir approval or get their money.
you might find they might not even payyou, which would be really depressing.
What your boundaries are whenit comes to giving discounts
and receiving discounts as well.
They're two very importantthings to consider.
(30:57):
But when you've got friends who havecome out of the woodworks asking for
discounts, just think twice beforeyou give them discounts because
they might just be asking you for adiscount purely to take advantage.
Not because they actually believe inwhat you do or what services you bring.
So in business, you will find some ofyour close personal relationships may
(31:19):
fall by the wayside because you'llfind out who they actually really are.
It's like Oprah Winfrey once said, when Ibecame really successful, I actually had
no idea how many cousins I had until theyall started coming out of the woodworks.
Which meant that as you becamesuccessful, all of her cousins come
(31:39):
out of nowhere to be like, Hey,can you please give me some money?
You're successful.
I'm your family.
You need to share the love.
And that is so not the case.
So yes, you might find thatwhen you are just starting your
business, no one will care.
No one will really giveyou the support that.
You're desperately wanting and needingto think people don't understand that you
(31:59):
really need their support in business.
But whereas when you get reallysuccessful, you'll find you've got a
lot more people supporting you thanyou can poke a stick at because they
want something from you, or theyjust want to be able to use your name
to be like, Oh, I know that person.
Yeah, they're my friend.
So when it comes to family and friends,make sure you put your boundaries in place
(32:21):
and tell them exactly what you're needingas a business owner and also their friend.
Because they should value youat the end of the day as well.
And if you do give yourfriends a special rate.
Or a discounted rate, or you'regiving them something for free.
Make sure you make it clear ofwhat it would normally cost.
So then they appreciate the amount ofmoney that they've saved and that they can
(32:44):
start to understand your worth as well.
But also when you are givingthem a discount, ask them
to give you something back.
Ask them to write a review for youon Google or ask them to share your
business a few times with friendsor family or on their social media.
Because reviews and word of mouth arethe absolute best form of marketing
And your friends should wantto shout your business from the
(33:04):
rooftops as well, especially ifthey've received something from you.
I want you to remember that whensomeone's asking you to discount
your prices, it's equivalent to anemployer asking you to work eight
hours, but only paying you for four.
It's just discounting your value.
You wouldn't do that inthe employment world.
So just take that into considerationwhen you are discounting your prices.
(33:27):
Gosh, this is something that Iwish I had learnt back right at the
start of my entrepreneurial journey.
And it would have saved me a lotof friends a lot of heartache a
lot of time and money wasted.
It has been a shockinglearning experience.
But some things I want you to takeaway from today's episode is that
communication is the foundation ofany healthy relationship, whether it's
(33:47):
in your business, whether it's withyourself, your friends or family, and
particularly your relationships, and youneed to start opening up those channels.
If you are struggling with thecommunication side of things, if you're
not really sure how to communicate,you need to be able to listen,
listening to what the problem is, orlistening to what others needs are.
(34:08):
And also importantly, listen to yourselfas what your needs and wants are as well.
You need to take a moment to reallyhear what others are saying, but
then you also need to be ableto ask open ended questions.
And this is very much in the way ofhow or what, instead of just doing
yes or no questions, ask your partner,how can I help improve our situation?
(34:33):
What is it that you need from me to helpsupport you or support our household?
And
Practice transparency.
Be honest, even if being vulnerable isnot a strong suit of yours, I know for
me vulnerability has not at all been astrength of mine, but when you share your
thoughts and your feelings openly, itjust invites others to do the same and
(34:55):
it helps give all of your relationshipsa little home to build and grow into.
You also need to be ableto set boundaries as well.
Communicate your limits respectfully.
Because this then fostersmutual understanding.
It helps relieve resentment as wellbecause resentment is a huge problem.
And when resentment starts to build, itstarts to kill everything in its path.
(35:19):
So that's where when you setboundaries, You then minimize the
impacts of resentment, but alsoyou need to check in with yourself.
Very, very important.
This is my last takeaway for you ischeck in with yourself because if you're
not having honest conversations withyourself, how are you meant to have
honest conversations with other people?
And you can do this by writingdown what your needs and wants
(35:42):
are and your goals and emotions.
That's important.
But if you struggle to write thingsdown, even draw it or speak to yourself
in front of the mirror, or even justhave a conversation like a lunatic.
I always have conversations out in theopen air where I'm talking to myself.
There's that saying that says,if you're seeing me talk to
(36:05):
myself, I'm self employed.
So don't worry.
I'm just having a staff meeting.
And that's just what you'vegot to look at it like.
It's not crazy, it's not psychotic, youdon't need to be checked into a mental
ward, but vocalizing it, writing itdown, or putting it out into the world
what your needs and wants are, andreally start to check in on yourself
because that's incredibly important.
(36:26):
Because that's the first step,particularly when it comes to overcoming
frictions, when it comes to communication,if it's not a strong suit of yours but
when you start to open these channels,it does take time and it takes patience,
but when everything is flowing,
it pays off tenfold . It just givesyou a more harmonious ecosystem,
both in life and business.
And it's really important.
(36:46):
So thanks for joining in on this episode.
I really hope that the conversationsand the communication start opening
up for you because it will helpyou for the life of your business
and also your existence as well.
And if anyone shows you completeresistance when it comes to you trying
to open up your communication channels,either show them the door or just reach
(37:06):
out to me and I can help you strategizeand we can overcome it together.
But it's really important for you tobe seen, to be heard, and for people
to understand what you're doing soyou can achieve your dreams with as
little bumps and bruises as possible.
(37:27):
If you like today's episode ofthe business vault, be sure to
subscribe and share with your fellowentrepreneurial friends who might just
need some help along their journey too.
And if you are dreaming of starting yourown business, I have everything you need
to get started from resources and toolsto one of the world's most comprehensive
business startup courses, where you getto learn every single thing you need when
it comes to starting your business andliving a holistic entrepreneurial life.
(37:50):
So head to thebusinessfaults.
com.
au and start your journey with theright guidance and information.
Until I see you on the nextepisode, have fun and don't forget
to always chase your dreams.
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