Military Life & The TDY Curse: Real Talk from a Military Spouse

In this heartfelt episode, we’re diving deep into the realities of military life—including the infamous TDY Curse. If you’re wondering what that even is (Katelynn sure was!), Annie explains this very real phenomenon military families know all too well: the string of things that seem to break or go wrong the moment your soldier leaves.

Annie shares her personal experiences—including an ICU scare, surprise home disasters, and creative ways she supports her kids through the emotional rollercoaster of deployments. Katelynn brings the civilian perspective, sharing ways friends and neighbors can better support military families—and why well-meaning comments sometimes miss the mark.

Whether you’re a military spouse, a civilian friend, or just curious about what this life really looks like behind the Instagram posts, this conversation is packed with honesty, humor, and actionable ideas to help families through the hardest seasons.

 

QUOTES

“It’s not if something will go wrong when they leave. It’s when.” — Annie

“How are you doing is a great question, but what’s even better is asking: What was the hardest part of your week?” — Annie

“You signed up for this? Well, when you buy a car, you sign up to drive it—but no one says you signed up for a wreck.” — Annie

“It’s hard to ask for help. Sometimes the best thing you can do is show up with a meal, an invite, or just a listening ear.” — Annie

“Kids need to be kids. I ask mine: Is that a you worry or a mom worry?” — Annie

 

TAKEAWAYS

1️⃣ The TDY Curse is real—unexpected home repairs and life challenges often show up right when a service member leaves.

2️⃣ Military spouses juggle solo parenting, emotional strain, and home management with little room to breathe—small gestures of support make a big difference.

3️⃣ The most helpful support often isn’t “What do you need?”—it’s specific, actionable offers (coffee, meals, rides, invites, or even snow shoveling!).

4️⃣ Kids need clear, developmentally appropriate support during deployments—countdowns, routines, and open communication can help them process big emotions.

5️⃣Civilians can play a huge role in supporting military families—consistent check-ins, kid-friendly conversations, and sensitivity to what not to say are key.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Deployment Wall ideas (Reach out to Annie for resources!)

• And we forgot to mention the Free Marco Polo Plus Passes for members of the military community

 

FEATURED CHAOS ANTHEM

“American Soldier” – Toby Keith

The perfect anthem for this episode, celebrating the strength and sacrifice of military service members and their families. The heart of the TDY Curse is resilience—and this song honors the courage it takes to keep going, one countdown day at a time.

🎧 You can find it (and all our episode anthems) on The Chaos Commanders: Season One playlists available on Apple Music, Spotify, and Amazon Music.

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