October 22, 2024 • 39 mins
Tracey takes on the challenge of shedding 100 pounds by her 50th birthday, and in this episode, she chats about how neglecting one area—whether it's mental, physical, financial, or spiritual—can affect everything else. From plans for self-care weekends, mental health days, and making the most of the beauty around her, this episode is about living life to the fullest, honoring her daughter's legacy, and being a good steward of what she has been given.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
What's good, everybody.
Welcome to the Charging Station.
What's good, everybody.
Welcome to the Charging Stationpodcast.
It's your girl, tracy Massey,of Living my Empowered Life.
What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up.
Hey, hey, what's up.
Okay, so you just have toimagine me like twerking at my
desk, twerking behind thismicrophone.
Okay, hi, if you're new here,welcome.
(00:46):
Welcome to the Couchy Couch.
Make sure you take your shoesoff you know there's no shoes in
the house.
Make yourself comfortable and Ihope that you return.
If you are a returning listener,you know I love me, some of you
, I love all y'all, but it'sjust something about y'all that
return and listen every week.
I appreciate you, but I needeverybody to go ahead and follow
(01:07):
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You can find me at Living myEmpowered Life on Instagram,
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I got it.
I got it this week.
Also, whatever platform you'relistening to this podcast on,
please be sure to subscribe andor follow whatever the
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(01:29):
Make sure that you rate.
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and leave reviews.
All of those things help to getthe podcast out to more people.
Hold on, I got a cough, excuseme.
Oh, okay, so when you rate andleave reviews, that helps push
(01:55):
the podcast out to more people.
And also you can leave me atext message.
If you look down in the shownotes, there's a link that says
hey, hey, text me or leave me amessage, or something like that.
Make sure that you just text me, let me know how we're doing,
let me know what you like aboutthe show, if you have any
podcast topics you want us todiscuss, if you have any guests
that you think would be a goodfit for the show, you know, let
(02:15):
me know, because this is aninteractive podcast.
So, yeah, you can participateeven though you're not here in
the studio with me.
All right, so let's get into it,because you know I don't want
to be before you long and youknow that I got stuff to do.
Actually, I'm gonna go home andtake a nap.
I haven't been sleeping wellthe last couple of weeks.
(02:38):
Y'all.
I don't know what's going on.
I think it's a level ofexcitement that I have going on.
It's a lot going on in my life.
I have a full time nine to five, and there is a lot of
transitions that are happeningin my nine to five and we got
open enrollment, like, if you'renot in the US, we have
(02:58):
insurance through work, and thistime of year is when what we
call open enrollment and whathappens is you go through, look
and look at your insurance plansand you pick one.
You pick your plans and it canbe a little stressful.
So that's going on and thenit's just coming down to the end
(03:20):
of the year trying to tie uploose ends or you know, I don't
know about you, but I set goalsat the beginning of the year.
I'm just kind of like lookingto see where I am, what kind of
progress I've made, and that'sactually a great segue into what
my topic is for.
Today I am on a journey I'mcalling it Fit, fine and
(03:44):
Fabulous by 50.
And my goal is to lose 100pounds and or be in the best
shape of my life by the time Iturn 50.
At the recording, the time ofrecording of this podcast, I am
a wonderful age of 48.
And so I will turn 50 in 2026.
(04:05):
So I'm recording this podcastin 2024.
So that gives me a year andsome change before I have to hit
50.
And so I set this goal because Ijust let myself go.
Let me just be honest.
I just let myself go.
I wasn't taking care of myselfmentally, physically,
financially, spiritually, likeall of that stuff.
(04:26):
It was just like boom.
I was so concerned about takingcare of other people that I was
neglecting myself.
I was not practicing what Ipreach.
I admit it Like you all aregoing to hear me say this a lot
I can talk about myself, I can'ttalk about you.
Okay, so I was letting myselfgo and I've realized that when
(04:50):
one area of my life isn't good,it affects all the areas of my
life in some kind of way.
So I'm like you know what girlget it together.
So I strategically set goalsthroughout the year for
different areas of my life.
So, like with the podcast, wetalk about all things faith,
(05:10):
family, friends and fun and Istarted to look at my life that
way.
In those pillars, thosecategories, like, what areas can
I improve upon to make turning50 a celebration instead of me
being depressed?
I remember turning 30 and it wasjust I was so depressed.
(05:32):
Now, granted, my daughter diedwhen I turned 30.
So, like I turned 30 in March,that April she was gone.
So it was literally turning 30.
And then by April, a few weeksafter my birth, actually three
weeks, four weeks after my 30thbirthday my daughter was gone,
jesus.
So my 30s, it was hard.
(05:56):
They were really really hard.
It was really really dark.
I was in a deep depression,robotic all of this stuff.
I started to turn the cornerwhen I was 40.
Robotic, all of this stuff, Istarted to turn the corner when
I was 40.
And I'm actually enjoying my 40sa lot more than I did my 30s,
and it's like God is restoringand redeeming the time, because
I am the clearest I have beensince I can remember.
(06:20):
Like my mental health is justgood, so good, um, socially I'm
doing well financially, um,spiritually, like everything is
going at full throttle, but it'snot because I haven't done the
work, and so I've been veryintentional about making my
(06:41):
ladder the latter days of mylife, because I don't know how
much life I have ahead of me.
But what I do know is that thelife that I have prior to this
moment in time, right now, isgone.
I can't get that back, and so Ican't dwell on the past.
I can learn from it and I cangrow from it.
So my intention now is to learnand grow from things of my past
(07:05):
and recover all, or recover asmuch as I can.
You know, whatever the Lordwants from me, that's what I'm
going after.
So I'm intentionally doingthings that are making this
journey to 50 more enjoyable,and so I'm just going to share
some of those things with you inthe hopes that inspires
(07:25):
whomever.
You know.
That's what I do here on thecharging station, and whether
you're turning 50, whetheryou're turning 80, whether
you're turning 21, whatever ageyou're turning, I pray that you
find something inspirational inwhat I'm doing, inspirational in
what I'm doing, operational inwhat I'm doing okay.
(07:51):
So I have been doing things,basically the stuff that I
didn't get to do as a kid.
I'm doing them now and it'sbeen so fun.
It's like I have this childlikefaith and I'm really enjoying
life Like this is the first timeI'm actually really living like
living, living, living, and I'menjoying every moment of it.
(08:13):
Now there are some hiccups alongthe way, there's some ups and
downs, but having this outlet ofdoing things that I didn't get
to do as a kid has been such agreat release.
I can't even put into words howjoyful it makes me.
So a few things that I'm doingand y'all don't judge me,
(08:33):
because I don't know how to dothis stuff.
You may know how to do it andit may be easy to you, but what
I'm going to share are somethings that I just didn't get to
do as a kid.
I didn't learn whatever, soI've shared before.
A kid, I didn't learn Whatever,so I've shared before,
especially in the episodeentitled Just Keep Swimming.
I took swim lessons and thereason why I did it was because
(08:54):
I didn't know how to swim, andyou can go back and listen to
the episode and I'll go intofurther detail as to why.
But when I tell y'all the pridethat I feel for accomplishing
this goal and conquering a fear,I'm like, girl, you can do, you
really can do all thingsthrough Christ, who strengthens
you.
Like you just do the darn thing.
(09:16):
So my goal was to be able toswim swim by my trip in November
.
So I'm taking a big trip inNovember.
It's an international trip.
If you follow me on the socials, I'll share where I am and I
may do a podcast episode.
I don't know, probably,probably not, I don't know but
(09:38):
I'm taking an international tripin November.
It's a place that I have beendreaming about going.
So I have a travel vision boardand it's all of the places that
I want to visit and so I get tocheck this one off the list and
I'm looking forward to it.
The circumstances of how thetrip changed I talked about in a
(10:01):
previous episode.
I'll just share it right quick.
It was a trip that I hadplanned for my ex-boyfriend's
birthday and so we broke up andI shared this in episode double
X, so go back and listen to that.
You can hear that story.
But we broke up and I was likeyou know what?
I'm still going on this trip.
(10:22):
It's so the planning that I didfor this trip and the detail
that I put in this trip.
I was like I have never donethis for myself, but I did this
to celebrate Ham Night.
So flip it.
I'm celebrating me now and I'mso excited because it is going
to be so luxurious, it's goingto be so peaceful and tranquil,
(10:45):
because the place that I'm going, they have a lot of party
resorts and everything, but theresort where I'm going it's like
a wellness spa type resort, soit's boutique, it's very small,
it's very tranquil, it's on theisland, but it's like in a cove,
so it's just really, reallypeaceful.
(11:06):
And I've been looking at thepictures every single day
because at the time of therecording of this podcast, I got
29 days.
I'm excited, I'm excited.
So my goal for taking swimlessons was I wanted to be able
to swim, swim by the time I getto this trip, and I have reached
that goal.
So I am super excited aboutbeing able to go into the ocean
(11:28):
and just float.
I'm super excited about beingable to get into the pool and go
into the deep end and not beworried about me drowning.
You know, I'm so excited andall I'm packing is swimming
suits and sundresses.
That's it, because I'm planningon being in the water.
Okay, all right.
So that was one of my goals andI've shared this before.
(11:53):
But my therapist has given meanother goal and that was for me
to find a hobby, and the caveatto that with this hobby is I am
not allowed to turn that hobbyinto a business.
So my hobby I was trying tofigure out.
Well, what is it that I enjoy?
(12:14):
What can I do?
Blah, blah, blah, and Istumbled upon this floral
arrangement class, this floralarrangement class, and I went to
this floral arrangement classand was amazed at what my hands
created in this class.
Now, granted, the instructorwas there, but she gave us the
(12:37):
fundamentals on how to arrangeflowers and she gave us lessons
on the types of flowers we wereusing and how to open up roses,
how to make your flowers lastlonger, and I the finished
product.
I was like yo, I like this.
This is relaxing because itused a part of my creative brain
(12:59):
, and it was also calming for mebecause I could really take my
time and not have to worry aboutwell, this is tied to money.
I got to make sure that I checkall the boxes, dot all my I's,
cross all my T's so I can makesure that whoever gets this is
happy with whatever I produce.
So I understand why mytherapist gave me that
(13:21):
assignment, that challenge.
So floral arrangement has beenmy thing.
I love having flowers in myhouse.
So instead of just going to theflower shop and, like hey,
picking out a pre-made bouquetor arrangement, I can go to the
farmer's market or there'sflower shops here in Charlotte
(13:43):
where you can go and pick yourstems and just create something
beautiful.
And, of course, I've had peopleask me to make floral
arrangements for them and I'mlike no, I can't.
You know, like this is just mycreative space, so that has been
giving me joy, and I neverthought that arranging flowers
would do that for me.
But here we are.
(14:05):
And when I was a little girl, Ilove taking pictures, whether
I'm behind the camera or infront of the camera.
And so I thought, you know,well, maybe, since I love taking
(14:29):
pictures and I love seeing thebeauty in a photograph and
seeing a story being told in aphotograph, maybe I should take
up photography.
And so I'm looking for a classnow that I can enroll in and
just learn the basics, you know,learn the different textures
and the photography, learndifferent lighting, editing,
things like that.
Now, granted, I can use editingin my creative life, but doing
photography, I just want thatoutlet.
(14:50):
So I have a little camera thatI ordered offline.
It's just like this no name, nobrand kind of camera, but it's
a vlogging camera, so I'mlearning how to use it.
So when I get the big dog, likeif I'm, you know, once I move
up to like a Canon or Nikon orwhatever see, I don't even know
(15:11):
what's what the best photographycameras are and the lenses and
things like that as I progress.
You know, I'll move up, but forright now, as a beginner, I got
this little camera and it'llwork just fine, so I'm looking
forward to that and just havinglittle outlets here and there
that are free for me to createand there's no pressure.
(15:31):
You know, and one of my goalsfor this journey to 50 has been
doing things that have nopressure behind it.
You know, these are justoutlets for me to be free,
because I don't get to do that alot.
I'm either at work or coaching,when I'm not coaching like I
used to anymore.
But you know, think adults, I'mdoing adult stuff.
(15:54):
So these are just outlets towhere I can just be free and let
my imagination be creative andbe able to sit down and hear God
a little more clearly, likethings like that.
So that's that.
So one of my priorities on thisroad to 50 is my mental health,
(16:15):
and so I posted on my personalFacebook page a few weeks ago
that I think I'm going toincorporate more mental health
days in 2025.
And the thing about postingstuff like that on social media
people tend to think thatsomething's wrong or you need
advice, or things like that andlike no, that's not it.
I was just saying it to besaying it and, in a way, I've
(16:37):
already once.
Here's the thing y'all, once Ipost something on social media,
it's already done.
It's already done.
So by the time I said I thinkI'm going to incorporate more
mental health days in 2025, I'dalready done it.
So I've already gone through mycalendar for 2025.
(17:02):
Through my calendar for 2025,and I have etched in well, not
etched in stone, but put on mycalendar my self-care weekends.
For one, because once a month Itake a self-care weekend where
I do nothing or I do things thatbring me joy, and sometimes
doing nothing is bringing me joy.
But I have my self-careweekends already scheduled.
But I also have extra mentalhealth days, because here's the
thing doing stuff on theweekends is great, but
(17:24):
everybody's out and about.
There is something about doingthings on a weekday when most
people are at work and kids arein school.
It's a piece that goes beyondmy own understanding.
So I've incorporated some mentalhealth days throughout the
months of 2025 that I feel likeare just going to enhance my
(17:46):
mental health even the more, andmy plan is to be outside most
of those times, so when theweather gets nice, that's the
great thing about living inNorth Carolina.
We experience all of thosetimes.
So when the weather gets nice,that's the great thing about
(18:07):
living in North Carolina.
We experience all of theseasons.
So there are a lot of placesthat I can go for the day.
Like being in Charlotte isgreat because I have the
mountains that are like a twohour drive.
I have the beach that is like athree slash four hour drive.
So I'm right in the middle ofeverything.
I can take a day trip and justenjoy that day, that mental
health day.
So I'm incorporating a lot ofthose things and it'll just cost
me some gas because it costs menothing.
(18:28):
Like I don't have to go to thebeach and rent a room unless I
want to.
I can literally get up early inthe morning, drive for the day
and then drive back that evening.
And same for the mountainsPraying for Western North
Carolina right now because Ilove being in the mountains and
they are still recovering fromHurricane Helene, at least at
(18:51):
the time of the recording ofthis podcast.
But yeah, going to themountains is one of my favorite
things and the beaches and themountains are two places where I
feel God the most.
So, yeah, that adds to not onlymy mental health but my
spiritual health, because I cansit there with my journal and
just look over the mountainridges and see all the beautiful
(19:12):
leaves and the trees, or I canbe on the beach journaling and
praying and seeing the wavescrash and the smell of the sea,
like just yeah, I'm lookingforward to that.
So, very much, so, very, verymuch.
So incorporating more mentalhealth days is another goal of
(19:32):
mine.
Also, getting fit, you knowthat's the whole point of Fit,
fine and Fabulous.
And when I say fit, it's morethan just weight for me, it's
more than just the pounds.
It is seeing my body transform,not feeling aches and pains.
(19:53):
You know having your knees hurt, your ankles hurt or your
elbows hurt, you know havingyour knees hurt, your ankles
hurt or your elbows hurt.
You know getting inflammationout of my body or right now it
lowered extremely.
But being able to stretch, youknow move around and I have
(20:13):
these weird injuries that pop up.
You know things like that.
So being fit for me is vitalbecause when the body goes,
everything follows it, like whenthe mind goes, everything
follows it.
And I've been in situationswhere there was a year in my
(20:37):
life where I was in and out ofthe hospital, sick and could not
.
They would.
They be for a while.
They could not figure out whatwas going on with me and, of
course, because I'm a womanthey're talking about oh, it's
just just in your mind, it'sstress, blah, blah, blah.
It was not and I'm just leaveit at that, but I had to be very
(20:58):
persistent in my andresponsible and and um advocate
for my own health care.
So being fit also includes goingto the doctor and getting
checkups.
So getting my blood work drawn,checking these hormone levels
see where I am, getting baselinetesting done.
(21:19):
So if something does go left, Ican be able to pinpoint it and
be able to advocate for myselfand say to a doctor who may not
listen but you know, right now,thank God, I have an amazing
medical team.
My OBGYN has left and I'mfreaking out because I need to
(21:40):
have somebody that is just justas good, if not better, than she
is.
I have doctors who actuallylisten to me because I advocate
for myself.
I know what it's like to be in adoctor's office and not be
heard.
And you got something.
You know your body, you knowwhen something is out of whack.
You know when something's wrongand have people tell you that,
(22:01):
oh, it's just stress.
No, so I I realized thatthere's some doctors or some
healthcare professionals.
Unfortunately and this is noknock to healthcare
professionals I was one.
I worked in the medical fieldfor over 16 years, so I get it.
But there are great doctors,nurses, medical professionals
(22:24):
and there are some bad ones,just as in any industry that you
go into.
But I know that a lot of timeswhen you have physical proof,
you can't beat that.
So if I'm coming to you with myblood pressure 120, over 80,
and all of a sudden it's tankingor it's high, we know
something's wrong.
If I come to you and I've had aclean bill of health for the
(22:47):
last three years and all of asudden I'm fatigued, we know
something's going on.
I need you to check my whiteblood count, check these red
blood cells, what's happening?
So getting blood work drawn,getting baseline numbers,
getting tests done that has beena part of me being fit, and I'm
on the hunt right now for aholistic doctor, a functional
(23:13):
medicine type doctor, because Ireally want to see my gut health
Like I want to.
I want to look at my gut health.
I want to look at Western typemedicine medical practices Jeez,
why did I get hung up on thatword?
But I want to look at Westerntype medical practices because
(23:33):
they look at, they go at aholistic approach.
So I want to see you know how'smy gut looking, how's my skin
looking, because the body willtell you, your body will tell
you when something's something'spopping off.
You just gotta know whereyou're starting.
So that's a thing.
I've been meeting with afinancial planner because I
(23:57):
realized, you know, I'm gettingup there in age, I don't want to
be working my entire life.
I want to be able to retire atsome point Now.
That's not about to happen soon, but even in that, I don't know
how long that will be.
So, working with a financialplanner I love how my financial
(24:18):
planner put this perspective.
She doesn't say budget, so Idon't have a budget.
And the reason we don't saybudget is because budget makes
me cringe.
That word sounds so restrictingto me and I will repel and I
will rebel when I feelrestricted.
So she calls it a spendinganalysis and I'm like oh, I like
(24:41):
that Because spending analysisto me shows me that, yes, I can
spend the money, but I'mspending the money in ways that
are beneficial and helpful andthey're not causing me to be in
financial ruin.
So we go over my spendinganalysis.
We were doing it monthly but Iwas like girl, this is a lot
(25:03):
like this meeting you monthly.
It's not conducive to myschedule.
So we broke it up to everyother month, which is great for
me, because that I think everyother month gives me a better
baseline of what I'm doing.
And we look at areas that canbe cut, we can.
(25:24):
We look at areas where I canimprove.
We look at areas where we canstreamline.
So cutting and streamlining aretwo different things.
Cutting is is we're going tostop doing that all together.
Streamlining is where can welower the cost of this thing or
increase this thing?
So we even broke up my savings.
(25:46):
I love to travel and one of mygoals is to be in these travel
streets a little bit more,because traveling for me is so
relaxing and it is a great resetfor my mindset.
So we have a travel spendingplan in and a travel savings.
So I don't know about y'all,but I'm real bougie.
(26:09):
I am very travel bougie.
I have come to accept thisabout myself.
I can't stay in host hostels.
Is that what they call hostels?
Hostels?
However you say it, you'recalled Hostels, hostels.
However you say it.
You're not going to catch mebackpacking across Europe, at
least not at the time of therecording of this podcast,
because life can evolve and itcan move quickly.
I may change my mind aboutbackpacking Doubt it, because,
(26:30):
again, I'm very bougie, but Ilike to stay in nice places and
I have a list of preferredplaces.
Vendors okay, my preferredvendors for airlines,
transportation, hotels.
Yeah, if you ever book me for aspeaking engagement which, by
the way, my books are open for2025 and beyond Check the link
(26:53):
in my bio on the social medias.
There's even a link at thebottom of the show notes my
books are open.
But if you book me for aspeaking engagement and I have
to go out of town, you're gonnaget my rider and it's gonna say
these are the preferred airlines, this is the preferred seating
class.
Here's my um, my travel number,um, my, what do you call it?
(27:15):
The member number, whatever?
Here's my.
Here are my preferred hotels.
Here's room class.
Now, I'm not a diva or nothing,but you're not going to have me
come speak in New York and thenI'm staying at a Roach Motel.
That ain't happening.
I don't live in a Roach Motel.
Let me put it like this I don'tstay nowhere.
(27:37):
That's less than where I liveon a daily basis.
Okay, so we have a spendingplan for those moments like that
, a spending analysis for thosemoments like that.
So we're really deep divinginto where I want to be at 50,
where I want to be beyond 50,the way the world is happening
(27:59):
right now.
You know, I'm really trustingin the Lord with all my heart
and leaning not into my ownunderstanding and acknowledging
him in all my ways so he candirect my path and that includes
money, wise.
So I just want to be a goodsteward with what God has given
me, because I have not been agood steward in the past and I'm
working to change that rightnow.
So I want to travel more.
(28:22):
Traveling was something that wedidn't get to do a lot when I
was a kid.
Now my mom God rest her soul.
Actually, my mom's birthday iscoming up on Friday at the time
of the recording this podcast.
So I've been feeling some typeof way, but we're not going to
talk about that.
But my mom growing up in DC oneof the things I loved about DC
was so much culture was aroundus.
(28:44):
You know there were people thatwould fly in from all over the
world just to come and see themonuments and my mom was very
instrumental in me loving thearts and loving museums and
things like that because shekept me in a museum child.
The Smithsonian I know theSmithsonian I know the
Smithsonian hated to see uscoming because it was like we
(29:04):
were at the Smithsonian likeevery other week or so, but now
those things are instilled in me.
So whenever I do travel, I lovegoing to art shows, I love
going to museums, I love readingthe history of a city, I love
looking at architecture.
So those are the things that Iwant to do more as I approach 50
(29:28):
and beyond, and some of thosethings cost money so I have to
put that in my spending analysisso you see how that works.
Another goal of mine I reallywant to do this for 2025.
I want to learn how to drive aboat.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
So, where I live, there are alot of lakes where I live and we
(29:50):
were.
I was on a retreat a coupleweeks ago in this beautiful home
, lakefront home and they had aboat and I was like, ooh, if I
knew how to drive the boat, wecan take the boat out for a
little spin.
So I want to get my boater'slicense.
Yeah, it's a little too, it'sgetting a little too nippy to do
that right now, but maybe, likespring, maybe I'll do that for
(30:13):
my birthday, because I thinkit's like a one day class when
you do it.
So I think, yeah, I think I'mgoing to, I'm going to get my
boater's license.
That should be my birthday giftto myself.
Every year I get myself a giftfor my birthday.
I think this year will be myboater's license, but anyway,
yeah, I want to learn how todrive a boat, not like Megan
Thee Stallion, but an actualboat.
(30:34):
I will be a captain.
Can't you see me with acaptain's hat on?
Would be hilarious.
I would have a whole outfit becute driving this boat.
So I'm incorporating more travel.
I'm incorporating more mentalhealth days.
I'm incorporating, definitely,more exercise and, um, more
(30:56):
health health for me, um, whatelse that I want to do?
So I'm really like there's somany things that are.
It may seem like a lot and itmay seem overwhelming.
I'm not doing all of thesethings.
Well, yeah, I guess I am doingall these things at once, but
it's like they're all in sync.
That's the better word, that'sthe word I'm looking for.
(31:19):
They're all in sync because Iam one being, but I'm
multifaceted.
I have a spiritual side, I havea human side, I have the
physical needs that I need towork on.
So all of these things are insync, that make up the one
person who is me.
And, yeah, I think I'm justgoing to put this out there I'm
(31:45):
going to date a little more in2025.
I know, I know child it's.
So you know what I said I'mgoing to stop doing this.
I'm going to stop having thisnegative connotation about
dating, because I truly believein the power of the tongue.
Life and death is in the powerof the tongue and in the mindset
(32:09):
.
So, if I'm sitting herethinking that dating is so
horrible, yes, I've had badexperiences, but I've also had
good experiences with dating,and I realize right now that I
realize every person that I comein contact with may not lead me
down the aisle, because,honestly, that's just crazy to
even think that.
And then I think about it.
But I do have boundaries.
(32:30):
I do have things, thatqualities that I'm looking for.
But I can't get those qualitiesif I'm sitting in the house.
I have to get out of myintrovert.
I have to get out of myintrovert.
I have to step out of myintrovert.
But also I'm praying about myspouse.
I haven't done that before.
I know that sounds crazy, right, I know, I know, I know.
(32:52):
But I also had to come to theconclusion that, yes, I want to
get married.
I teeter-totter sometimes,sometimes I don't want to be
bothered, but yes, I do have adesire to be married.
I do have a desire to travelthe world with my companion, and
the only way I'm going to meethim he's not going to show up at
my house.
I don't think, you know,anything's possible.
(33:15):
God can do anything, but faithwithout works is dead.
So you get out there and date.
So I've decided that I'm notgoing to do the dating apps
anymore because, baby, that wasan adventure in itself.
But there are some qualitypeople that I can meet, like if
I go join a running club, I maymeet somebody at the run club.
Or if I go out here and trypickleball, I may meet somebody
(33:36):
that likes pickleball.
You know, things like that Ineed to need to do things that
are interesting to me and justbe open to meeting people.
So, yeah, we're going to date alittle bit more in 2025.
Y'all hold me accountable withall this stuff.
Okay, hold me accountable.
Um, yeah, I think I think thisthat's probably going to be the
(33:59):
hardest thing for me.
I'll be honest, that's going tobe the hardest thing for me.
I'm going to be honest, that'sgoing to be the hardest thing
because dating requires somevulnerability and I realize that
everyone doesn't deserve myvulnerable.
Everybody's not a good fit formy vulnerable.
But I'm keeping my options open.
So, if you're out there, sir,prepare, prepare, prepare for me
(34:24):
as I prepare for you.
But, yeah, those are some ofthe things that I'm going to be
doing on this journey to 50.
I'm excited about it.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm looking forward to what Godhas in store.
There are, like I said, a lot ofchanges going on in my personal
life, work-wise.
Like I said, a lot of changesgoing on in my personal life,
work-wise, spiritually.
It's just a lot and a lot ofthings that I have not shared.
(34:48):
I'm not sure if I will sharethem, but there's a lot going on
and we're human beings, we'readults.
There's always going to besomething going on, but I have
to make it a priority for me, toprioritize me.
So whenever life gets toointense, I have to have space to
(35:10):
create and find peace and stealaway and just be.
I remember having a conversationwith a friend of mine he's a
therapist.
A conversation with a friend ofmine, he's a therapist, and he
kind of knocked me, knocked thewind out of my sail, when he
(35:30):
said this.
But it was true, it was honest,it was a real good, honest
conversation.
He said to me T you don't knowhow to just be.
You need to learn how to be ahuman being.
You know the word being meansjust be.
You need to learn to just be.
And I looked at him confusedbecause I was like what do you
(35:54):
mean, just be?
But now I'm learning how tojust be and I think being is a
form of contentment.
I'm very content with my life,but I'm not complacent.
So I know that there are areasof growth and change, evolvement
and development that I canimprove upon and I am now
(36:16):
embracing those moments.
Is it scary?
Yeah.
Is it worth it?
Absolutely.
So as I take this journey youknow I'm a little open book
sometimes.
I will be sharing this with mypeeps, you all, and I would love
to hear from you if you havedecided to take this journey of
(36:40):
some sorts like fit, fine andfabulous by whatever your age is
.
If you decide to take thisjourney, let me know, hit me up
on the socials, hit me up in thetext messages here on the
podcast.
Just let me know, because Ican't be the only one that's
like reevaluating life right now.
I can't be, I can't be.
If I am child, am I a unicorn?
(37:01):
I don't, I can't be, I can't be.
If I am child, am I a unicorn?
I don't.
Y'all.
Don't leave me out here bymyself.
If you do, that's fine, I'mstill going to take this journey
.
But I want to hear from you whatare some things in your life
that you are evaluating andlooking at Like, oh, I could
really change this, I canimprove upon this.
Or even if you have dormantdreams that you've just kind of
(37:22):
set aside or you felt like theyweren't, you weren't going to be
able to accomplish them, like,just take the baby steps, you
know, just keep swimming, justdo the little things that bring
you joy.
Do you even know what bringsyou joy.
That's the question.
Because what I found is a lotof people don't know what bring
them joy.
That's why I developed the joyitinerary, like we literally sit
(37:43):
down and go through our liveslike little kids.
You know how kids can just findthe smallest thing and be just
as happy and content with it.
Where do we lose?
That Is it when we first starthaving adult responsibilities.
But I'm at the point now whereI'm like this childlike faith,
(38:07):
this childlike not mindset, butthis childlike thinking ah, it's
so fun.
If I want to go out here andplay hopscotch, I'll go get some
chalk and write it on and rightin front of my house and just
do hopscotch, and I'm prettysure my little neighbor next
door will come join me.
But still, if I want to juststand up and just, you know, put
on a frilly dress and justtwirl, I'm gonna do that.
(38:31):
So think about your life.
What areas of your life do youwant to change?
It doesn't have to be manythings, it can be just one thing
.
If you want to go back toschool, go back to school, boo.
If you want to learn how todrive a boat, go take the lesson
, just go do it.
You want to learn how to swim?
(38:51):
Go take the swim lessons, justdo it.
What are we afraid of?
What's stopping us?
You yourself?
So yeah, I'm done fussingyourself.
So yeah, I'm done fussing.
I'm done fussing for this week,but I just want you to live
life abundantly, live itempowered, live it in joy.
(39:12):
It's enough craziness going onin this world as it is.
Find your little slice of peaceand work that thing All right,
until next time, my dearRemember, remember.
God loves you, I love you.
It ain't nothing you can doabout it.
Boo Bye.
What's good, everybody.
Welcome to the Charging Station.
What's good, everybody.
Welcome to the Charging Stationpodcast.
It's your girl, tracy Massey,of Living my Empowered Life.
What's up, what's up, what's up, what's up.
Hey, hey, what's up.
Okay, so you just have toimagine me like twerking at my
desk, twerking behind thismicrophone.
Okay, hi, if you're new here,welcome.
(00:46):
Welcome to the Couchy Couch.
Make sure you take your shoesoff you know there's no shoes in
the house.
Make yourself comfortable and Ihope that you return.
If you are a returning listener,you know I love me, some of you
, I love all y'all, but it'sjust something about y'all that
return and listen every week.
I appreciate you, but I needeverybody to go ahead and follow
(01:07):
us on the socials.
You can find me at Living myEmpowered Life on Instagram,
tiktok, youtube Threads andFacebook.
I got it.
I got it this week.
Also, whatever platform you'relistening to this podcast on,
please be sure to subscribe andor follow whatever the
instructions require you to do.
(01:29):
Make sure that you rate.
If you're listening on Applepodcast, you can rate and leave
a review, because what you guysdon't realize is when you rate
and leave reviews.
All of those things help to getthe podcast out to more people.
Hold on, I got a cough, excuseme.
Oh, okay, so when you rate andleave reviews, that helps push
(01:55):
the podcast out to more people.
And also you can leave me atext message.
If you look down in the shownotes, there's a link that says
hey, hey, text me or leave me amessage, or something like that.
Make sure that you just text me, let me know how we're doing,
let me know what you like aboutthe show, if you have any
podcast topics you want us todiscuss, if you have any guests
that you think would be a goodfit for the show, you know, let
(02:15):
me know, because this is aninteractive podcast.
So, yeah, you can participateeven though you're not here in
the studio with me.
All right, so let's get into it,because you know I don't want
to be before you long and youknow that I got stuff to do.
Actually, I'm gonna go home andtake a nap.
I haven't been sleeping wellthe last couple of weeks.
(02:38):
Y'all.
I don't know what's going on.
I think it's a level ofexcitement that I have going on.
It's a lot going on in my life.
I have a full time nine to five, and there is a lot of
transitions that are happeningin my nine to five and we got
open enrollment, like, if you'renot in the US, we have
(02:58):
insurance through work, and thistime of year is when what we
call open enrollment and whathappens is you go through, look
and look at your insurance plansand you pick one.
You pick your plans and it canbe a little stressful.
So that's going on and thenit's just coming down to the end
(03:20):
of the year trying to tie uploose ends or you know, I don't
know about you, but I set goalsat the beginning of the year.
I'm just kind of like lookingto see where I am, what kind of
progress I've made, and that'sactually a great segue into what
my topic is for.
Today I am on a journey I'mcalling it Fit, fine and
(03:44):
Fabulous by 50.
And my goal is to lose 100pounds and or be in the best
shape of my life by the time Iturn 50.
At the recording, the time ofrecording of this podcast, I am
a wonderful age of 48.
And so I will turn 50 in 2026.
(04:05):
So I'm recording this podcastin 2024.
So that gives me a year andsome change before I have to hit
50.
And so I set this goal because Ijust let myself go.
Let me just be honest.
I just let myself go.
I wasn't taking care of myselfmentally, physically,
financially, spiritually, likeall of that stuff.
(04:26):
It was just like boom.
I was so concerned about takingcare of other people that I was
neglecting myself.
I was not practicing what Ipreach.
I admit it Like you all aregoing to hear me say this a lot
I can talk about myself, I can'ttalk about you.
Okay, so I was letting myselfgo and I've realized that when
(04:50):
one area of my life isn't good,it affects all the areas of my
life in some kind of way.
So I'm like you know what girlget it together.
So I strategically set goalsthroughout the year for
different areas of my life.
So, like with the podcast, wetalk about all things faith,
(05:10):
family, friends and fun and Istarted to look at my life that
way.
In those pillars, thosecategories, like, what areas can
I improve upon to make turning50 a celebration instead of me
being depressed?
I remember turning 30 and it wasjust I was so depressed.
(05:32):
Now, granted, my daughter diedwhen I turned 30.
So, like I turned 30 in March,that April she was gone.
So it was literally turning 30.
And then by April, a few weeksafter my birth, actually three
weeks, four weeks after my 30thbirthday my daughter was gone,
jesus.
So my 30s, it was hard.
(05:56):
They were really really hard.
It was really really dark.
I was in a deep depression,robotic all of this stuff.
I started to turn the cornerwhen I was 40.
Robotic, all of this stuff, Istarted to turn the corner when
I was 40.
And I'm actually enjoying my 40sa lot more than I did my 30s,
and it's like God is restoringand redeeming the time, because
I am the clearest I have beensince I can remember.
(06:20):
Like my mental health is justgood, so good, um, socially I'm
doing well financially, um,spiritually, like everything is
going at full throttle, but it'snot because I haven't done the
work, and so I've been veryintentional about making my
(06:41):
ladder the latter days of mylife, because I don't know how
much life I have ahead of me.
But what I do know is that thelife that I have prior to this
moment in time, right now, isgone.
I can't get that back, and so Ican't dwell on the past.
I can learn from it and I cangrow from it.
So my intention now is to learnand grow from things of my past
(07:05):
and recover all, or recover asmuch as I can.
You know, whatever the Lordwants from me, that's what I'm
going after.
So I'm intentionally doingthings that are making this
journey to 50 more enjoyable,and so I'm just going to share
some of those things with you inthe hopes that inspires
(07:25):
whomever.
You know.
That's what I do here on thecharging station, and whether
you're turning 50, whetheryou're turning 80, whether
you're turning 21, whatever ageyou're turning, I pray that you
find something inspirational inwhat I'm doing, inspirational in
what I'm doing, operational inwhat I'm doing okay.
(07:51):
So I have been doing things,basically the stuff that I
didn't get to do as a kid.
I'm doing them now and it'sbeen so fun.
It's like I have this childlikefaith and I'm really enjoying
life Like this is the first timeI'm actually really living like
living, living, living, and I'menjoying every moment of it.
(08:13):
Now there are some hiccups alongthe way, there's some ups and
downs, but having this outlet ofdoing things that I didn't get
to do as a kid has been such agreat release.
I can't even put into words howjoyful it makes me.
So a few things that I'm doingand y'all don't judge me,
(08:33):
because I don't know how to dothis stuff.
You may know how to do it andit may be easy to you, but what
I'm going to share are somethings that I just didn't get to
do as a kid.
I didn't learn whatever, soI've shared before.
A kid, I didn't learn Whatever,so I've shared before,
especially in the episodeentitled Just Keep Swimming.
I took swim lessons and thereason why I did it was because
(08:54):
I didn't know how to swim, andyou can go back and listen to
the episode and I'll go intofurther detail as to why.
But when I tell y'all the pridethat I feel for accomplishing
this goal and conquering a fear,I'm like, girl, you can do, you
really can do all thingsthrough Christ, who strengthens
you.
Like you just do the darn thing.
(09:16):
So my goal was to be able toswim swim by my trip in November
.
So I'm taking a big trip inNovember.
It's an international trip.
If you follow me on the socials, I'll share where I am and I
may do a podcast episode.
I don't know, probably,probably not, I don't know but
(09:38):
I'm taking an international tripin November.
It's a place that I have beendreaming about going.
So I have a travel vision boardand it's all of the places that
I want to visit and so I get tocheck this one off the list and
I'm looking forward to it.
The circumstances of how thetrip changed I talked about in a
(10:01):
previous episode.
I'll just share it right quick.
It was a trip that I hadplanned for my ex-boyfriend's
birthday and so we broke up andI shared this in episode double
X, so go back and listen to that.
You can hear that story.
But we broke up and I was likeyou know what?
I'm still going on this trip.
(10:22):
It's so the planning that I didfor this trip and the detail
that I put in this trip.
I was like I have never donethis for myself, but I did this
to celebrate Ham Night.
So flip it.
I'm celebrating me now and I'mso excited because it is going
to be so luxurious, it's goingto be so peaceful and tranquil,
(10:45):
because the place that I'm going, they have a lot of party
resorts and everything, but theresort where I'm going it's like
a wellness spa type resort, soit's boutique, it's very small,
it's very tranquil, it's on theisland, but it's like in a cove,
so it's just really, reallypeaceful.
(11:06):
And I've been looking at thepictures every single day
because at the time of therecording of this podcast, I got
29 days.
I'm excited, I'm excited.
So my goal for taking swimlessons was I wanted to be able
to swim, swim by the time I getto this trip, and I have reached
that goal.
So I am super excited aboutbeing able to go into the ocean
(11:28):
and just float.
I'm super excited about beingable to get into the pool and go
into the deep end and not beworried about me drowning.
You know, I'm so excited andall I'm packing is swimming
suits and sundresses.
That's it, because I'm planningon being in the water.
Okay, all right.
So that was one of my goals andI've shared this before.
(11:53):
But my therapist has given meanother goal and that was for me
to find a hobby, and the caveatto that with this hobby is I am
not allowed to turn that hobbyinto a business.
So my hobby I was trying tofigure out.
Well, what is it that I enjoy?
(12:14):
What can I do?
Blah, blah, blah, and Istumbled upon this floral
arrangement class, this floralarrangement class, and I went to
this floral arrangement classand was amazed at what my hands
created in this class.
Now, granted, the instructorwas there, but she gave us the
(12:37):
fundamentals on how to arrangeflowers and she gave us lessons
on the types of flowers we wereusing and how to open up roses,
how to make your flowers lastlonger, and I the finished
product.
I was like yo, I like this.
This is relaxing because itused a part of my creative brain
(12:59):
, and it was also calming for mebecause I could really take my
time and not have to worry aboutwell, this is tied to money.
I got to make sure that I checkall the boxes, dot all my I's,
cross all my T's so I can makesure that whoever gets this is
happy with whatever I produce.
So I understand why mytherapist gave me that
(13:21):
assignment, that challenge.
So floral arrangement has beenmy thing.
I love having flowers in myhouse.
So instead of just going to theflower shop and, like hey,
picking out a pre-made bouquetor arrangement, I can go to the
farmer's market or there'sflower shops here in Charlotte
(13:43):
where you can go and pick yourstems and just create something
beautiful.
And, of course, I've had peopleask me to make floral
arrangements for them and I'mlike no, I can't.
You know, like this is just mycreative space, so that has been
giving me joy, and I neverthought that arranging flowers
would do that for me.
But here we are.
(14:05):
And when I was a little girl, Ilove taking pictures, whether
I'm behind the camera or infront of the camera.
And so I thought, you know,well, maybe, since I love taking
(14:29):
pictures and I love seeing thebeauty in a photograph and
seeing a story being told in aphotograph, maybe I should take
up photography.
And so I'm looking for a classnow that I can enroll in and
just learn the basics, you know,learn the different textures
and the photography, learndifferent lighting, editing,
things like that.
Now, granted, I can use editingin my creative life, but doing
photography, I just want thatoutlet.
(14:50):
So I have a little camera thatI ordered offline.
It's just like this no name, nobrand kind of camera, but it's
a vlogging camera, so I'mlearning how to use it.
So when I get the big dog, likeif I'm, you know, once I move
up to like a Canon or Nikon orwhatever see, I don't even know
(15:11):
what's what the best photographycameras are and the lenses and
things like that as I progress.
You know, I'll move up, but forright now, as a beginner, I got
this little camera and it'llwork just fine, so I'm looking
forward to that and just havinglittle outlets here and there
that are free for me to createand there's no pressure.
(15:31):
You know, and one of my goalsfor this journey to 50 has been
doing things that have nopressure behind it.
You know, these are justoutlets for me to be free,
because I don't get to do that alot.
I'm either at work or coaching,when I'm not coaching like I
used to anymore.
But you know, think adults, I'mdoing adult stuff.
(15:54):
So these are just outlets towhere I can just be free and let
my imagination be creative andbe able to sit down and hear God
a little more clearly, likethings like that.
So that's that.
So one of my priorities on thisroad to 50 is my mental health,
(16:15):
and so I posted on my personalFacebook page a few weeks ago
that I think I'm going toincorporate more mental health
days in 2025.
And the thing about postingstuff like that on social media
people tend to think thatsomething's wrong or you need
advice, or things like that andlike no, that's not it.
I was just saying it to besaying it and, in a way, I've
(16:37):
already once.
Here's the thing y'all, once Ipost something on social media,
it's already done.
It's already done.
So by the time I said I thinkI'm going to incorporate more
mental health days in 2025, I'dalready done it.
So I've already gone through mycalendar for 2025.
(17:02):
Through my calendar for 2025,and I have etched in well, not
etched in stone, but put on mycalendar my self-care weekends.
For one, because once a month Itake a self-care weekend where
I do nothing or I do things thatbring me joy, and sometimes
doing nothing is bringing me joy.
But I have my self-careweekends already scheduled.
But I also have extra mentalhealth days, because here's the
thing doing stuff on theweekends is great, but
(17:24):
everybody's out and about.
There is something about doingthings on a weekday when most
people are at work and kids arein school.
It's a piece that goes beyondmy own understanding.
So I've incorporated some mentalhealth days throughout the
months of 2025 that I feel likeare just going to enhance my
(17:46):
mental health even the more, andmy plan is to be outside most
of those times, so when theweather gets nice, that's the
great thing about living inNorth Carolina.
We experience all of thosetimes.
So when the weather gets nice,that's the great thing about
(18:07):
living in North Carolina.
We experience all of theseasons.
So there are a lot of placesthat I can go for the day.
Like being in Charlotte isgreat because I have the
mountains that are like a twohour drive.
I have the beach that is like athree slash four hour drive.
So I'm right in the middle ofeverything.
I can take a day trip and justenjoy that day, that mental
health day.
So I'm incorporating a lot ofthose things and it'll just cost
me some gas because it costs menothing.
(18:28):
Like I don't have to go to thebeach and rent a room unless I
want to.
I can literally get up early inthe morning, drive for the day
and then drive back that evening.
And same for the mountainsPraying for Western North
Carolina right now because Ilove being in the mountains and
they are still recovering fromHurricane Helene, at least at
(18:51):
the time of the recording ofthis podcast.
But yeah, going to themountains is one of my favorite
things and the beaches and themountains are two places where I
feel God the most.
So, yeah, that adds to not onlymy mental health but my
spiritual health, because I cansit there with my journal and
just look over the mountainridges and see all the beautiful
(19:12):
leaves and the trees, or I canbe on the beach journaling and
praying and seeing the wavescrash and the smell of the sea,
like just yeah, I'm lookingforward to that.
So, very much, so, very, verymuch.
So incorporating more mentalhealth days is another goal of
(19:32):
mine.
Also, getting fit, you knowthat's the whole point of Fit,
fine and Fabulous.
And when I say fit, it's morethan just weight for me, it's
more than just the pounds.
It is seeing my body transform,not feeling aches and pains.
(19:53):
You know having your knees hurt, your ankles hurt or your
elbows hurt, you know havingyour knees hurt, your ankles
hurt or your elbows hurt.
You know getting inflammationout of my body or right now it
lowered extremely.
But being able to stretch, youknow move around and I have
(20:13):
these weird injuries that pop up.
You know things like that.
So being fit for me is vitalbecause when the body goes,
everything follows it, like whenthe mind goes, everything
follows it.
And I've been in situationswhere there was a year in my
(20:37):
life where I was in and out ofthe hospital, sick and could not
.
They would.
They be for a while.
They could not figure out whatwas going on with me and, of
course, because I'm a womanthey're talking about oh, it's
just just in your mind, it'sstress, blah, blah, blah.
It was not and I'm just leaveit at that, but I had to be very
(20:58):
persistent in my andresponsible and and um advocate
for my own health care.
So being fit also includes goingto the doctor and getting
checkups.
So getting my blood work drawn,checking these hormone levels
see where I am, getting baselinetesting done.
(21:19):
So if something does go left, Ican be able to pinpoint it and
be able to advocate for myselfand say to a doctor who may not
listen but you know, right now,thank God, I have an amazing
medical team.
My OBGYN has left and I'mfreaking out because I need to
(21:40):
have somebody that is just justas good, if not better, than she
is.
I have doctors who actuallylisten to me because I advocate
for myself.
I know what it's like to be in adoctor's office and not be
heard.
And you got something.
You know your body, you knowwhen something is out of whack.
You know when something's wrongand have people tell you that,
(22:01):
oh, it's just stress.
No, so I I realized thatthere's some doctors or some
healthcare professionals.
Unfortunately and this is noknock to healthcare
professionals I was one.
I worked in the medical fieldfor over 16 years, so I get it.
But there are great doctors,nurses, medical professionals
(22:24):
and there are some bad ones,just as in any industry that you
go into.
But I know that a lot of timeswhen you have physical proof,
you can't beat that.
So if I'm coming to you with myblood pressure 120, over 80,
and all of a sudden it's tankingor it's high, we know
something's wrong.
If I come to you and I've had aclean bill of health for the
(22:47):
last three years and all of asudden I'm fatigued, we know
something's going on.
I need you to check my whiteblood count, check these red
blood cells, what's happening?
So getting blood work drawn,getting baseline numbers,
getting tests done that has beena part of me being fit, and I'm
on the hunt right now for aholistic doctor, a functional
(23:13):
medicine type doctor, because Ireally want to see my gut health
Like I want to.
I want to look at my gut health.
I want to look at Western typemedicine medical practices Jeez,
why did I get hung up on thatword?
But I want to look at Westerntype medical practices because
(23:33):
they look at, they go at aholistic approach.
So I want to see you know how'smy gut looking, how's my skin
looking, because the body willtell you, your body will tell
you when something's something'spopping off.
You just gotta know whereyou're starting.
So that's a thing.
I've been meeting with afinancial planner because I
(23:57):
realized, you know, I'm gettingup there in age, I don't want to
be working my entire life.
I want to be able to retire atsome point Now.
That's not about to happen soon, but even in that, I don't know
how long that will be.
So, working with a financialplanner I love how my financial
(24:18):
planner put this perspective.
She doesn't say budget, so Idon't have a budget.
And the reason we don't saybudget is because budget makes
me cringe.
That word sounds so restrictingto me and I will repel and I
will rebel when I feelrestricted.
So she calls it a spendinganalysis and I'm like oh, I like
(24:41):
that Because spending analysisto me shows me that, yes, I can
spend the money, but I'mspending the money in ways that
are beneficial and helpful andthey're not causing me to be in
financial ruin.
So we go over my spendinganalysis.
We were doing it monthly but Iwas like girl, this is a lot
(25:03):
like this meeting you monthly.
It's not conducive to myschedule.
So we broke it up to everyother month, which is great for
me, because that I think everyother month gives me a better
baseline of what I'm doing.
And we look at areas that canbe cut, we can.
(25:24):
We look at areas where I canimprove.
We look at areas where we canstreamline.
So cutting and streamlining aretwo different things.
Cutting is is we're going tostop doing that all together.
Streamlining is where can welower the cost of this thing or
increase this thing?
So we even broke up my savings.
(25:46):
I love to travel and one of mygoals is to be in these travel
streets a little bit more,because traveling for me is so
relaxing and it is a great resetfor my mindset.
So we have a travel spendingplan in and a travel savings.
So I don't know about y'all,but I'm real bougie.
(26:09):
I am very travel bougie.
I have come to accept thisabout myself.
I can't stay in host hostels.
Is that what they call hostels?
Hostels?
However you say it, you'recalled Hostels, hostels.
However you say it.
You're not going to catch mebackpacking across Europe, at
least not at the time of therecording of this podcast,
because life can evolve and itcan move quickly.
I may change my mind aboutbackpacking Doubt it, because,
(26:30):
again, I'm very bougie, but Ilike to stay in nice places and
I have a list of preferredplaces.
Vendors okay, my preferredvendors for airlines,
transportation, hotels.
Yeah, if you ever book me for aspeaking engagement which, by
the way, my books are open for2025 and beyond Check the link
(26:53):
in my bio on the social medias.
There's even a link at thebottom of the show notes my
books are open.
But if you book me for aspeaking engagement and I have
to go out of town, you're gonnaget my rider and it's gonna say
these are the preferred airlines, this is the preferred seating
class.
Here's my um, my travel number,um, my, what do you call it?
(27:15):
The member number, whatever?
Here's my.
Here are my preferred hotels.
Here's room class.
Now, I'm not a diva or nothing,but you're not going to have me
come speak in New York and thenI'm staying at a Roach Motel.
That ain't happening.
I don't live in a Roach Motel.
Let me put it like this I don'tstay nowhere.
(27:37):
That's less than where I liveon a daily basis.
Okay, so we have a spendingplan for those moments like that
, a spending analysis for thosemoments like that.
So we're really deep divinginto where I want to be at 50,
where I want to be beyond 50,the way the world is happening
(27:59):
right now.
You know, I'm really trustingin the Lord with all my heart
and leaning not into my ownunderstanding and acknowledging
him in all my ways so he candirect my path and that includes
money, wise.
So I just want to be a goodsteward with what God has given
me, because I have not been agood steward in the past and I'm
working to change that rightnow.
So I want to travel more.
(28:22):
Traveling was something that wedidn't get to do a lot when I
was a kid.
Now my mom God rest her soul.
Actually, my mom's birthday iscoming up on Friday at the time
of the recording this podcast.
So I've been feeling some typeof way, but we're not going to
talk about that.
But my mom growing up in DC oneof the things I loved about DC
was so much culture was aroundus.
(28:44):
You know there were people thatwould fly in from all over the
world just to come and see themonuments and my mom was very
instrumental in me loving thearts and loving museums and
things like that because shekept me in a museum child.
The Smithsonian I know theSmithsonian I know the
Smithsonian hated to see uscoming because it was like we
(29:04):
were at the Smithsonian likeevery other week or so, but now
those things are instilled in me.
So whenever I do travel, I lovegoing to art shows, I love
going to museums, I love readingthe history of a city, I love
looking at architecture.
So those are the things that Iwant to do more as I approach 50
(29:28):
and beyond, and some of thosethings cost money so I have to
put that in my spending analysisso you see how that works.
Another goal of mine I reallywant to do this for 2025.
I want to learn how to drive aboat.
Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
So, where I live, there are alot of lakes where I live and we
(29:50):
were.
I was on a retreat a coupleweeks ago in this beautiful home
, lakefront home and they had aboat and I was like, ooh, if I
knew how to drive the boat, wecan take the boat out for a
little spin.
So I want to get my boater'slicense.
Yeah, it's a little too, it'sgetting a little too nippy to do
that right now, but maybe, likespring, maybe I'll do that for
(30:13):
my birthday, because I thinkit's like a one day class when
you do it.
So I think, yeah, I think I'mgoing to, I'm going to get my
boater's license.
That should be my birthday giftto myself.
Every year I get myself a giftfor my birthday.
I think this year will be myboater's license, but anyway,
yeah, I want to learn how todrive a boat, not like Megan
Thee Stallion, but an actualboat.
(30:34):
I will be a captain.
Can't you see me with acaptain's hat on?
Would be hilarious.
I would have a whole outfit becute driving this boat.
So I'm incorporating more travel.
I'm incorporating more mentalhealth days.
I'm incorporating, definitely,more exercise and, um, more
(30:56):
health health for me, um, whatelse that I want to do?
So I'm really like there's somany things that are.
It may seem like a lot and itmay seem overwhelming.
I'm not doing all of thesethings.
Well, yeah, I guess I am doingall these things at once, but
it's like they're all in sync.
That's the better word, that'sthe word I'm looking for.
(31:19):
They're all in sync because Iam one being, but I'm
multifaceted.
I have a spiritual side, I havea human side, I have the
physical needs that I need towork on.
So all of these things are insync, that make up the one
person who is me.
And, yeah, I think I'm justgoing to put this out there I'm
(31:45):
going to date a little more in2025.
I know, I know child it's.
So you know what I said I'mgoing to stop doing this.
I'm going to stop having thisnegative connotation about
dating, because I truly believein the power of the tongue.
Life and death is in the powerof the tongue and in the mindset
(32:09):
.
So, if I'm sitting herethinking that dating is so
horrible, yes, I've had badexperiences, but I've also had
good experiences with dating,and I realize right now that I
realize every person that I comein contact with may not lead me
down the aisle, because,honestly, that's just crazy to
even think that.
And then I think about it.
But I do have boundaries.
(32:30):
I do have things, thatqualities that I'm looking for.
But I can't get those qualitiesif I'm sitting in the house.
I have to get out of myintrovert.
I have to get out of myintrovert.
I have to step out of myintrovert.
But also I'm praying about myspouse.
I haven't done that before.
I know that sounds crazy, right, I know, I know, I know.
(32:52):
But I also had to come to theconclusion that, yes, I want to
get married.
I teeter-totter sometimes,sometimes I don't want to be
bothered, but yes, I do have adesire to be married.
I do have a desire to travelthe world with my companion, and
the only way I'm going to meethim he's not going to show up at
my house.
I don't think, you know,anything's possible.
(33:15):
God can do anything, but faithwithout works is dead.
So you get out there and date.
So I've decided that I'm notgoing to do the dating apps
anymore because, baby, that wasan adventure in itself.
But there are some qualitypeople that I can meet, like if
I go join a running club, I maymeet somebody at the run club.
Or if I go out here and trypickleball, I may meet somebody
(33:36):
that likes pickleball.
You know, things like that Ineed to need to do things that
are interesting to me and justbe open to meeting people.
So, yeah, we're going to date alittle bit more in 2025.
Y'all hold me accountable withall this stuff.
Okay, hold me accountable.
Um, yeah, I think I think thisthat's probably going to be the
(33:59):
hardest thing for me.
I'll be honest, that's going tobe the hardest thing for me.
I'm going to be honest, that'sgoing to be the hardest thing
because dating requires somevulnerability and I realize that
everyone doesn't deserve myvulnerable.
Everybody's not a good fit formy vulnerable.
But I'm keeping my options open.
So, if you're out there, sir,prepare, prepare, prepare for me
(34:24):
as I prepare for you.
But, yeah, those are some ofthe things that I'm going to be
doing on this journey to 50.
I'm excited about it.
I'm looking forward to it.
I'm looking forward to what Godhas in store.
There are, like I said, a lot ofchanges going on in my personal
life, work-wise.
Like I said, a lot of changesgoing on in my personal life,
work-wise, spiritually.
It's just a lot and a lot ofthings that I have not shared.
(34:48):
I'm not sure if I will sharethem, but there's a lot going on
and we're human beings, we'readults.
There's always going to besomething going on, but I have
to make it a priority for me, toprioritize me.
So whenever life gets toointense, I have to have space to
(35:10):
create and find peace and stealaway and just be.
I remember having a conversationwith a friend of mine he's a
therapist.
A conversation with a friend ofmine, he's a therapist, and he
kind of knocked me, knocked thewind out of my sail, when he
(35:30):
said this.
But it was true, it was honest,it was a real good, honest
conversation.
He said to me T you don't knowhow to just be.
You need to learn how to be ahuman being.
You know the word being meansjust be.
You need to learn to just be.
And I looked at him confusedbecause I was like what do you
(35:54):
mean, just be?
But now I'm learning how tojust be and I think being is a
form of contentment.
I'm very content with my life,but I'm not complacent.
So I know that there are areasof growth and change, evolvement
and development that I canimprove upon and I am now
(36:16):
embracing those moments.
Is it scary?
Yeah.
Is it worth it?
Absolutely.
So as I take this journey youknow I'm a little open book
sometimes.
I will be sharing this with mypeeps, you all, and I would love
to hear from you if you havedecided to take this journey of
(36:40):
some sorts like fit, fine andfabulous by whatever your age is
.
If you decide to take thisjourney, let me know, hit me up
on the socials, hit me up in thetext messages here on the
podcast.
Just let me know, because Ican't be the only one that's
like reevaluating life right now.
I can't be, I can't be.
If I am child, am I a unicorn?
(37:01):
I don't, I can't be, I can't be.
If I am child, am I a unicorn?
I don't.
Y'all.
Don't leave me out here bymyself.
If you do, that's fine, I'mstill going to take this journey
.
But I want to hear from you whatare some things in your life
that you are evaluating andlooking at Like, oh, I could
really change this, I canimprove upon this.
Or even if you have dormantdreams that you've just kind of
(37:22):
set aside or you felt like theyweren't, you weren't going to be
able to accomplish them, like,just take the baby steps, you
know, just keep swimming, justdo the little things that bring
you joy.
Do you even know what bringsyou joy.
That's the question.
Because what I found is a lotof people don't know what bring
them joy.
That's why I developed the joyitinerary, like we literally sit
(37:43):
down and go through our liveslike little kids.
You know how kids can just findthe smallest thing and be just
as happy and content with it.
Where do we lose?
That Is it when we first starthaving adult responsibilities.
But I'm at the point now whereI'm like this childlike faith,
(38:07):
this childlike not mindset, butthis childlike thinking ah, it's
so fun.
If I want to go out here andplay hopscotch, I'll go get some
chalk and write it on and rightin front of my house and just
do hopscotch, and I'm prettysure my little neighbor next
door will come join me.
But still, if I want to juststand up and just, you know, put
on a frilly dress and justtwirl, I'm gonna do that.
(38:31):
So think about your life.
What areas of your life do youwant to change?
It doesn't have to be manythings, it can be just one thing
.
If you want to go back toschool, go back to school, boo.
If you want to learn how todrive a boat, go take the lesson
, just go do it.
You want to learn how to swim?
(38:51):
Go take the swim lessons, justdo it.
What are we afraid of?
What's stopping us?
You yourself?
So yeah, I'm done fussingyourself.
So yeah, I'm done fussing.
I'm done fussing for this week,but I just want you to live
life abundantly, live itempowered, live it in joy.
(39:12):
It's enough craziness going onin this world as it is.
Find your little slice of peaceand work that thing All right,
until next time, my dearRemember, remember.
God loves you, I love you.
It ain't nothing you can doabout it.
Boo Bye.
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