August 29, 2024 • 42 mins
In this episode of The Cycle Breaker Podcast, host Sukhi Kaur speaks with Chetna Mehta, a community facilitator and changemaker. Chetna dives into the concept of “Reframing Community,” exploring how we can broaden our understanding of what community means and how it impacts our lives. They share insights on relationship mapping, the significance of non-human connections, and the value of diverse, inclusive spaces. Whether you’re an entrepreneur or simply looking to enrich your sense of community, this episode offers valuable perspectives and practical advice on building meaningful connections. To learn more about Chetna's work, visit: mosaiceyecollective.com and Instagram profile: https://www.instagram.com/mosaiceye.
Details on "The River," a virtual community for change-makers and creatives, can be found here:
the river — mosaiceye (mosaiceyecollective.com)
For more support, visit sukhilifecoach.com/freeconsult to schedule a free consultation.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:09):
Welcome to the Cycle Breaker podcast. I'm
your host, Sukhi Kaur, a certified
feminist life coach, and I'm here to help
you navigate being a woman of color
entrepreneur, breaking generational
cycles and letting go of imposter
syndrome. Here you will learn to create
self-awareness around the truth of who
you are and see your ability to
(00:30):
change how you experience yourself. And
further the results you create in your
life. So let's break these much needed
cycles together here in community.
Welcome back to the Cycle Breaker
(00:50):
podcast. Today we have a very special
guest, Chitna Mehta, who knows a thing or
two about building and leveraging
community as an entrepreneur. Whether
you're starting out or looking to take
your business to the next level,
understanding the power of community is
essential. Chitna, introduce
yourself, because I think if I go about
it, I'll just go on and share all the
(01:11):
programs I've been in with you and all
the different communities. So I'll let
you do that. Thanks so much, Suki, for
having me on the podcast. Yeah, I am
a granddaughter of Indian and South
African diasporas. My
immigrant and third culture identities
inform a lot of who I am and what I do
(01:31):
and how I approach people and the
land and situations in my
life. I am an
alchemist, as I like to identify most
as I've gotten to witness so much.
Just sheer magic that science is
still catching up to in terms of how
people can transform, how we
(01:53):
can transform some of the most
challenging things in our lives into
such gold, into such
insight, into such beauty and connection
and purpose. I trained
as a therapist and so I call myself a
therapeutic facilitator. I love to
facilitate in one-on-one spaces with.
(02:15):
Activists and change makers and then
also in groups, which is what I've been
honored to share. Yeah,
in different capacities. Yeah, I love
that. I've been part of, I think maybe
three of your groups and I love the the,
I think the first one that I was in is a
South Asian Femmes group. And it was all
(02:35):
about like decolonizing patriarchy,
understanding our relationship,
especially looking at the cultural lens
and how patriarchy impacts our
relationships. And I think it was things
that I never really thought of. And I
think as my friends group, we usually
don't talk about this stuff. But I think
one of the activities was like,
(02:55):
you know, understanding how does
patriarchy impact your relationship with
other like females in your, you know,
in your life. And we did a whole entire
activity. So and then the most
recent one that I loved and I was telling
you earlier that that's actually feel
like one of the reasons why I was like
brave enough to be like, let me put my
(03:16):
podcast episodes that I recorded like
last year and it was
called Your Inner Critic or Healing Your
Inner Critic. I think it was,
yeah, Alchemizing Your Inner Critic and
it was super helpful and I really
appreciate it. So that's why I wanted to
have you on the podcast of. I think
it's so important to just have the right
(03:38):
communities, but I know you go on a
deeper level of, you know, even first
understanding what does community mean
for you?Because I know culturally it just
means different things and how we've seen
it model. And this is a cycle breaker
podcast. So of course, like understanding
like your own, like what suits you best
and what serves you best is so important.
(04:01):
Absolutely. Yeah. With the South Asian
Femme Disruptors Circle, that
in and of itself was such a healing for
me coming from
just a lot of like wounding around
belonging around enoughness,
adequacy. Am I Indian enough?Am I
Gujrathi enough?Right. I'm 3
(04:22):
generations South African and so.
I am somewhat removed from India and
Indian culture, although because of
apartheid in South Africa, there was a
preservation of culture, actually some
really weird warped kind of ****** **
way, you know, but also in a beautiful
way that my cousins growing up in South
Africa, they speak Gujarati. They, you
(04:44):
know, make Gujarati food. They love
Gujarati food sometimes. They've grew up,
grown up with my grandparents. They have
that intergenerational wisdom
accessible to them. They're exposed
to multi-generational lives that are
close to them, which is so precious. Like
that just is
so important that I don't have here
(05:05):
necessarily, right?I don't have an
inherited community that's
multi-generational that have chosen me
and I've chosen them just by way of our
inheritance, right?
I. Didn't want to work with
South Asian folks for a long time that
they were not my people to work with. I
was mostly working with creatives as an
(05:26):
artist and activists and change makers.
So identities by way of what I did in my
life or where I found purpose. Those are
the folks that I resonated with and who
resonated with me. But over
time, you know, I was at the time
married to an African American man. And
that also really helped me like kind of
embrace my own culture more. As I
(05:47):
witnessed him and his family really
like embracing their culture, I wanted to
embrace mine and and add something and
contribute something to our larger
family. So that contributed a lot to
wanting to embrace my own culture, my own
lineage, and then recognizing that, oh,
when I'm far away from my family
embedded in another culture. And another
(06:10):
culture at large being society and and
and you know, my community overall based
on where I was living Colorado at the
time. All of these
factors really pushed me into, I
love my culture. I love Diwali. I love,
you know, garbas. I love tree. I
love, you know, I love all
(06:33):
of these different ceremonies, rituals,
things that I grew up with that I took
for granted. And then, you know, in 2020.
Where it really came to surface
not only at large the deep
racism and violence that's been present
in our society, but also the
(06:53):
internalized racism that Indians and they
see people have that. Yeah, just because
we're like, I don't know, there's a lot
of posts of like just because you're
brown doesn't mean that you're not racist
and you don't have any internal biases
and like you don't. It's like. It doesn't
give you a pass at not looking inward and
seeing how you may be contributing or
what, you know, just being honest with
(07:15):
yourself first, like nobody needs to post
about it on social media, but like, even
being brave enough to look inward. Yeah,
absolutely. Yeah. That reckoning was at
the forefront and it was urgent.
And and then, you know, in my marriage,
I was reckoning with, wow, there's some
realities of. My then partners that I
(07:36):
would just never understand, I would
never understand what it means to be a
black man in America, right. RightThere's
I can empathize to a degree,
but I cannot be like that pillar of
support in the way that say, you know,
some of his other
community members can be who identify as
black in America. So that was
(07:58):
really challenging and
and yeah, and so. I
finally realized, like, holy **** by way
of also meeting other quote, UN quote,
outcast Indians,
folks who've been divorced or, you
know, just adopt A different way
of thinking when it comes to what
(08:20):
liberation is, what making a
successful life is, right?I started to
meet folks like that, and that
really helped me recognize that, oh,
there's probably enough of us out here.
To build community with and to own our
culture with and to own what success
means to us and to heal some
(08:41):
of the rifts that that happened within a
South Asian patriarchal
space, right around female
relationships, around sexuality, around
queerness, around casteism.
So that was such a big healing
for me to even feel.
Valid and brave enough is what it really
(09:03):
felt like to to put out that call
for South Asian disruptors,
you know, Yeah. And we even talked about
it like I think many of us brought up of,
you know, normally I wouldn't share, I
wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this
with other South Asian females, but here
I feel comfortable and it was kind of
eye-opening that it just, it may just be
(09:25):
a different type of community or maybe.
You don't. We need to be that close to
relate in order to have a deep
conversation and feel seen and feel
heard. And it, you know, sometimes we
just kind of cone in on who our
immediate friends and family are, but it
doesn't really need to be. These are like
literally strangers on the Internet
around the world. And then you can feel
(09:47):
seen and talk about certain topics that
I don't think like it's been. I think we
all had that in common or most of us.
Said that of like, this is something new
to us and it was eye-opening to be like,
oh, it doesn't. It could look
differently. So it was really nice. Yeah.
Thanks for sharing that. You know, it is
really interesting. I feel called to
(10:08):
share something that's very live and
present for me around community. What
does it mean to be
from a culture and a family that I love?I
love my family. They've been there for
me, you know, in some of the most.
Meaningful, difficult, challenging times
of my life. Like they are unlike
(10:28):
anybody else in my world, right?
And there's just certain things that I
feel continuously hurt by in
terms of capacity for intimacy
or, you know, shared
values around liberation or
to some degree anti-capitalism,
(10:49):
anti-white supremacy, right?
Politically. And also just
like how, how, how I feel my love is
received or given or
yeah. So there's like certain things just
I feel like I've been continuously
since being a child, like kind of missed
or like heartbroken with. And I have to
(11:10):
reckon with that and to hold the both and
that I like so love my family and like
they're the most precious people ever.
And also, like, I've been heartbroken.
That's been a very living, breathing
thing in my life recently. And I'm
opening up to what is it like to
also choose family,
(11:31):
like to choose to to develop chosen
family through friendships and through
other relationships without feeling like
I'm betraying my family of origin. Yeah,
that's actually something that I really
resonate with that too. Thank you for
sharing that, because I think. Sometimes
when we say, oh, you know, when we
prioritize friendships and even the way
we spend our time, it may look different
(11:53):
from how our family think. Like it's
almost like, oh, then you're not trying
to be as close to us if you're going to
go prioritize someone else in that day or
in that week. But it really doesn't need
to. And there's enough space for it to be
both. In my family, like my
parents are first generation, they're
immigrants. And so they had a lot of, we
have a lot of family friends. But when it
(12:15):
came to, so we had extended
family that wasn't our blood related, but
they're, you know, just as close. But
and that was OK for them because they
came to a new country and it's the same
culture. But I realized
that, you know, when it's my friendships
and they may not be the same culture and
it's not the same reason, it's not taken
(12:36):
as well. So I think having that both and
not having that guilt of like. This
is just a reality that, you know, like we
said, like community can be different
things and we do need support in
different ways and it's whatever
serves us, right. So totally.
And it's so normal this, this concept of
chosen family is so normalized when we
(12:57):
get married, right.
Our partner's family is chosen family in
a way. And yet we formalize it with some
legal whatever, but.
When it's not dealing with marriage, it's
not accepted as much. And like when I was
married, right, my family did recognize
like, oh, now you're part of their family
(13:18):
and like we respect that and like all the
patriarchal things around, like now
you're their daughter-in-law and stuff,
right?But then after I got divorced, it
was such a weird liminal space with my
family because I still had my boundaries,
I still had my life experience, I still
had my values, but I was seen now as like
a maiden again. As opposed to someone
(13:39):
who's been through all of my experience,
I I was seen kind of as like dependent
to some degree, which is so interesting
energetically, even though it was never
spoken right to some degree,
you knowAnd so, yeah, so now it's just
like, oh, I don't need to get married to
have a chosen family that. That is
(14:00):
equally as important to me as my family
of origin. And so I'm kind of exploring
that. And I'm also exploring this like in
between space. Like a lot of my friends
who have developed beautiful chosen
family are either estranged from their
families or they've been like disowned
or you know, pushed away because of their
queerness or what have you. So they've
(14:21):
kind of been forced into. Developing
chosen family and I don't see enough or
or hear enough about like the liminal
space of like no, I have a family that
loves me, that accepts me more or less
for who I am. And what's it
like then to still want to develop a
chosen family beyond that, especially
being immigrants to this country where we
(14:42):
don't have those multi-generational,
multi-layered extended family members
available to us. We also have family
friends. And even
that, you know, the the depth of the
relationship, how we actually know each
other is limited. It's all about like
getting together and having fun and and
yeah, supporting each other through big
milestones. Though I don't necessarily
(15:03):
feel like we really deeply know each
other or there's like a consistency with
me so much as there are with my family,
with my parents. So yeah,
yeah, I I love that you shared about like
after being divorced, like then you go
back to being maiden cause. I'm divorced
and I I live on my own. I'm very
independent. But then when it comes to
(15:23):
going to like family stuff, you know how
well, I don't know if everybody does, but
you take these family pictures with the
bride or the groom or so then like my
parents always make sure that like
there's I have to be in their photo with
them, which is fine. But it's almost like
even if I decide to go on my own and be
like, hey, I'll just meet you at the
banquet hall, there is just like this big
(15:44):
anxiety of like. Oh, so it's it's
now it's physically showing that you're
separate, even though people know that I,
you know what I mean?So it's just very
much like this odd thing that we're
navigating through still. But it's just,
it's just kind of funny to be like, oh,
it's not really, it doesn't have to be a
big deal. But then sometimes when people
get favors like, oh, here, one for you.
(16:05):
And it's almost like a bit awkward if
somebody recognize it in the odd way. But
yeah. Totally. And you know, it
relates so much to entrepreneurship too,
right?To be an entrepreneur is to be
solo in a way, right?A lot of times
we work for organizations or
institutions. We sort of inherit
(16:27):
like a a colleague family or we inherit
like co-workers and we inherit the
sort of multi-generational mentors or
whatever. We inherit a system, right?
But if we're an entrepreneur, we don't.
We don't most times, right. We kind of
are solo where we're that like
heading to the banquet alone. Oh, wow,
(16:48):
you're, you know, you don't have a team,
you don't have a. And so it
does require such intentionality to
choose, to choose our
colleagues, to choose our mentors, to
choose our consultants. And it does take
more work. Though there are, you know,
there are so many of us out here, the
same thing and even creating spaces for
(17:10):
it. So it totally relates.
Yeah. I think once you start looking for
a use or at least start giving some
spaces a chance and then you see what
works, what doesn't. Because sometimes,
like, you know how you say you show up on
your own. When I used to go to certain
networking events, that was like, oh,
like. Hey, this is my business. And then
it's like it. I know in the back of my
(17:30):
mind it's just me, but for work I was
used to going with a team or having like
a big name and being like, oh, this is
who I represent. Now it's like I just
represent like my passion and
like here I am. So I totally, totally
resonate with that. And then also like
when it comes to entrepreneurship, I
think realizing that. If it's
(17:51):
not one place, you can't keep
looking for, you know, a group cause I
have some local groups here where I feel
so great to, you know, we talk about a
topic, we share our experiences, what
our learnings are. Somebody will do a
presentation like it's just nice to have
that community. But it took me a couple
of years to find it because I used to go
(18:13):
to these events and be like, OK, like.
No one I know is a life coach in my
family or friends and they don't even
know what that is. And then they're like,
that doesn't make sense. And then here I
am trying to find other people that are
like, you know, talking about what
they're passionate about, even if they're
not making as much or, you know, you
don't need to have the results in front
of you in order to say, oh, this is my
(18:35):
business. It doesn't mean that you need
to have a certain revenue. But I think
sometimes when I'm talking to like.
People, folks in my community went like
within my family, friends, like it's just
like, oh, so how well is it?Like, you
know, is it as well as you're doing at
your job?And it's like, it doesn't have
one. It doesn't have really anything to
do with the other, right?Cause it's
almost like dismissing in a way. So
(18:56):
yeah, it's looking at, again, per usual,
like pedestalizing revenue, cash profit.
It's pure capitalism, right?It's like,
oh, there's so many other currencies.
That we are accessing through our
entrepreneurship. We're accessing
courage, we're accessing purpose, we're
accessing self-discovery, we're accessing
impact in the ways that we want to make
(19:16):
the impact, right. Yeah,
right. But that doesn't matter. It's all
about like, well, how much are you making?
And like, are you getting paid as much as
when you were working for
corporate?It's like, no, I'm not yet.
Maybe. Who knows?Doesn't matter. Yeah, it
doesn't really matter. And then it's also
like. And there's like some pressure on
(19:38):
when it's a business to be like, oh,
because I think like at least in in the
Indian community here, it's like, oh, you
have a gas station or you have a hotel
and then it's like it shows and then you
build on it. But a lot of times when we
do this type of work, you don't really
show it as much. It's like social media
and like posts and you're figuring it out
and it doesn't have to look the same. But
(19:58):
somewhere there's more pressure for the
business to be super successful quickly
versus like, you knowWhen someone gets a
job, they've been through school, they've
been to another degree, they've gone
through internships, gone through
different experiences, and then you're
like at the job that you want or like
where you feel more comfortable. But it
takes time and I think that's taken out
(20:20):
of like proportion and and you're just
kind of like not as well. It doesn't seem
like it's relevant, but if you put it in
that perspective still, it's still, it's
the same thing. So yeah,
totally. I would love for you to
share something that was like really
helpful for me when we did that, like
the circles, like the relationship map.
(20:42):
And because I was thinking about
today, like community doesn't really need
to be like only like, you
know, friendships and networking groups
and other entrepreneurs, but like even I
think of like. People that support
me, like it can be your chiropractor and
literally your acupuncturist or like your
(21:03):
therapist, like those are all like
different levels, right?So I would love
for you to like share a little bit more
about, I think you call their
relationship mapping, right?The circle
within a certain, yeah, yeah, this is a
potentially a great practice for like
listeners to do if that feels resonant,
but in the South Asian femme disruptors.
(21:23):
Group. We did an exercise
where we put all of our
relationships as many as we can. I can
think of on on the page or
I in my case, I did it on my iPad just
because it was more like dynamic. I could
change things and
we put,
we symbolize those relationships by
(21:45):
circles. And if the circle was really
big, that means it was a really big
relationship in our lives. If it was
really small, it's still a relationship
in our life, but perhaps doesn't take up
a lot of our time or energy or emotions,
et cetera. Then we played
with like clustering those circles. Like
these are all, you know, my my yoga
(22:05):
community. These are all my my business
community members. These are my
friendships from university. These are my
family members, right?And then
of course we are at the center, me is at
the at the center. And so these circles
were relationally
placed on the map. Based on how close
(22:25):
these relationships were to me. So I had
a bunch of relationships in South Africa
that were further away, and the size of
the circle showed me visually
how close they were to me emotionally
or mentally, right?So they could be far
away, but I could still make a big
relationship in my life. Another
(22:46):
segment I had on my map were people I
don't know necessarily, but impact me,
right?Teachers. Social media people,
authors, right?Who I think about a
good amount and I speak their name when I
reference them, right?The likes of
Adrienne Marie Brown or Lama Rod Owens
or Tara Brock, like various
(23:09):
people who I look to. Krishna Murthy,
like they were all on my mouth because I
literally developed my life based on what
I've heard they they teach, right?So
there's that. And then I also had.
Non-human kin, non-human
community, like certain trees that I've
had like deep connections with all around
(23:31):
the world or
the hummingbirds where I was living. When
I did that circle, I there were tons of
hummingbirds everywhere and they were
so reliable. I could go outside and meet
at least a few hummingbirds. And that
impacted my day every day, right?
Non-human relationships on there as well
(23:52):
is such a decolonial perspective on how
connected we really are.
And the last thing I'll say is also
like spiritual deities
or what is divine to me was also on
my on my map and that
are that those were the like, you know,
(24:13):
the divine archetypes. For me,
you know, Kalima and
Lakshmi and Shiva are all really
important to me. I grew up with them. And
then also like Eshu, the Yoruban
trickster archetype is also a really
important force in my life that brings
play and spontaneity and like kind of
(24:34):
like pushing boundaries a little bit
sometimes. Yeah, all
archetypes and characters that also play
a part in my relationships. Oh, I
love that because I really, you know,
you talking about your relationship app
really shows like there's no limitation,
there's no rule and there's no because I,
(24:54):
you know, when you say, oh, the authors
and other social media people, like
sometimes I listen to certain podcasts or
audiobooks and they do impact me where
like. I'll buy the, I'll have the audio
book on my app, but then I'll buy the
actual book. So I have it. So it's like
that special. But I, you know, even for
myself, like when I heard you say that,
(25:14):
that like opens up, you know, my mind of
like, oh, community is so much more than,
you know, when we think. And it's nice to
hear other people talk about what they
think, like, especially you sharing.
Yeah. And even non-human community.
I've recently, I was telling my cousin, I
was like, I recently been seeing like.
Butterflies and like, I went to England
(25:35):
in the summer for a week and I saw them
there too. And then she was like, well,
did you see one today?And then we were
just in like a supermarket drive through
and then we saw one and I was like, I
don't know, it's happening, but like it's
around. So you don't ever feel like
you're taking a walk alone or like
whatever it is. But I love that because
(25:55):
there's not limitations to community and
I think especially as an entrepreneur.
I think it's, well, in my experience, I
feel like it's inevitable for someone to
be like, oh, look, I'm part of a group.
I'm not doing this by myself. Especially
if you're a solar entrepreneur, like you
have to start that way. And like, there
are times where it's just like, am I on
(26:16):
an island by myself?But you know,
just redefining, I think reframing
what community is, is so important. It
is. It's a reframe, right?And it's a
reframe that challenges us
to. Divest from
rugged individualism, right?Even as
entrepreneurship can feel like a solo
(26:36):
venture, we are standing on the
shoulders of many people who have started
their own businesses or whatever. I know
in my lineage, I stand on many people who
have started our own businesses.
Entrepreneurship is in my blood, in my
lineage, you know?And I imagine if we
each really looked at that, it
exists. Not only that, the world is
(26:57):
so. At our fingertips now, right?
YouTube, YouTube University
is a whole thing, right?And like,
there's so much we could get insight into
it in someone's personality, in their
wisdom, in their teachers, in their
perspectives, just by way of YouTube. And
(27:17):
and I don't think it's it's wrong to
acknowledge it like, wow, this person on
YouTube has really impacted me and they
feel. Yeah,
definitely.
And yeah, OK, we're not friends at all.
We don't know each other and I don't know
them outside of the, you know, that
(27:38):
little box that they're in. Though
the way my body responds, right,
there is a connection there and I can't.
And then also like, you know, with
loneliness being such. An
epidemic, you know, in the world,
especially in this country, in a
very fatal way, right?
(28:01):
It's also speaking to our
disconnection to the land and to animals
and to trees and to the plants and to,
you know, the elements of nature that are
around us, that are responding to us,
that we're responding to. And so
remembering that is so important
because we are never alone, right?And to.
(28:24):
To prioritize just our human
relationships is a form of human
supremacy, which is also what is harming
the planet. So to
remember our non-human kin and
community and to have something like a
relationship map that shows us so
much of that and shows us in these like
(28:44):
circles and colors and shapes.
How we are so interconnected just by way
of what we can consciously even recognize
and put on a page, right. It's just a
really beautiful reminder. And I turn to
my map regularly when I'm
when I don't have the perspective of how
interdependent and connected I actually
am. Yeah. And and I really like this
(29:05):
because I think it takes off the pressure
of, you know, when we think of community
and when we think, oh, I feel alone, it's
not always dependent on someone else.
Another human, like another human
changing or you changing or doing a lot
of work. It can be as simple as like like
you said, you can go outside and like hug
your favorite tree or like just go
outside and take a walk. And like there
(29:27):
are, there is so much going on around us
and it does. I think sometimes that
perspective is like the mindset's really
limited to be like, oh, I need to have
close relationships and sometimes we
limit and what that is and how that looks
like and yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah. Like even I'm living by myself
alone for the first time in my life. I've
(29:48):
always lived with other people or
cooperatively, or I've always had
housemates, and I'm living solo for
the first time. Solo, right?Quote UN
quotes. As in, I'm the only human
occupying this dwelling, but I have lots
of plants and I get to
witness and watch them grow and change
and dry out sometimes. And like need
(30:10):
adjustments in their care and
it requires me to slow down, right?To be
in a non-human community requires a
different pace than being with human
community. Being with human community
most times is actually very fast and like
there's a lot going on and there's a lot
of energy and sometimes depending on the
(30:31):
person of course, but with plants and
with animals it requires such a slowness.
Such an observation, such a deep
listening because we don't speak
our verbal languages, right?We speak a
different language. And so it
is an adjustment, much like being
with an extroverted person versus an
introverted person, right?All
(30:53):
very different, but like a different set
of languages and wisdom. And exchange.
And so, yeah, being with non-human
community is such a different experience
and it's something we have to adjust to
and intend to feel into.
Yeah, I resonate with that so much. It's
been, I think in October, it'll be
(31:13):
five years since I've been living on my
own. So like, it was a big adjustment,
but I do have plans as well. And I think
like just even realizing like.
You know, you're not the only living
thing in like my like for me, like on
my apartment, like it's nice to be like,
oh, maybe seeing how like you do
need to slow down and maybe repot or like
(31:36):
just change what window they're near or
not put them too much water or whatever.
It's just nice to see that something else
is growing, but then it also has
its phases. But I think as people. We
put a lot of pressure of like it should
be linear and it should be quick and it
doesn't shouldn't need a lot of all the
all the shoulds, right, all the rules
(31:56):
that we have. So yeah, yeah
So I guess like what would you say like
if someone is like, OK, I need to. Like
I wanna find people that I
would, you know, relate more to. I don't
know where to start. Like what would you?
I know you said you started your own,
like that you were just brave enough to
start your own community. But I guess if
(32:17):
somebody is like thinking about like
culturally sensitive groups or like what,
how would you go tell somebody?Like what
would you suggest?Yeah,
you know, in some ways I did start my own
and in many ways I've joined communities
that already exist cause like it takes a
lot to start your own. And if the energy
is not so, like there's probably
(32:39):
something that exists. And if something
does not exist, then maybe it is a
responsibility to to start it
though how I and I continue to do
this right, especially as I'm now
stepping into the inquiry and practice of
like what does it mean to develop chosen
family?I really follow
what interests me. I follow
(33:00):
what I'm curious about and I'll go to
events or workshops or
gatherings centered around that. So for
example, I'm plant-based vegan, so
when I moved here, I was looking up all
the like vegan meetups, right?
Or if there's a particular type of
interest within your entrepreneurship
(33:21):
journey, right?Like. I
don't know, heart-centered marketing, for
example, like marketing from a more
embodied or heart-felt place, right?
Look up, look up like, you know,
workshops or classes that
center that priority or that value and go
there with the intention of developing
(33:41):
relationships, right?And healing out
these people who came with shared value
and interest. Right. Important.
Or as an artist, right?Like, OK, I'm
interested in meeting other BIPOC artists
in my space. How do I go about doing
that?And it could be
virtual, it could be in person. You know,
(34:03):
I think such beautiful community can be
formed virtually. Some of my closest
friends, actually today I've met
virtually 1st and then I agree. Yeah, you
know, and I'm like, Oh my God, it feels
the same. You're just taller than I
thought or whatever, you know?Yeah,
so. Yeah, that's really
beautiful. I
started a community called the River, and
(34:24):
this is for change makers and
creatives who want to
be in community around mind, body, spirit
and to be a part of a movement
to be in what we call creative everflow.
And that is recognizing that creativity
is always accessible to us. There is an
abundance of it, actually, especially
(34:45):
when we are in. Community with each other
and we're just like inspiring each other
by way of our being. And so in the river,
it's virtual, it's a membership
community and we do yoga classes, we
meditate together, we co-work together,
we learn together. People in the
community host workshops
on restoring or
(35:07):
anti-racism or soul collage,
so. Oh, very cool. I'm definitely
gonna check that out myself. Please do.
It'd be so fun to have you. Yeah. Can you
share how somebody would go about finding
the river?Just so
absolutely. It's on our website,
mosaiceyecollective.com/the
(35:28):
River, and we also share a lot
about it on Instagram.
Yeah, it's it's really beautiful. There's
a lot of information online about it,
including the events that are
happening in the upcoming season,
some of what the members have shared
and and yeah, there's always.
(35:50):
There's always an opportunity to dip in
and see what it's like. And really we are
building community and the community is
so beautiful. I would not have imagined
like how welcoming people are. People
really take it upon themselves to like
welcome folks and
it's just really beautiful. Oh, I love
that. And is it, would you say it's,
you know, people that are starting off in
(36:12):
their business or is it just everyone at
different levels and that's not really.
Because I think sometimes people kind of
hesitate to be like, oh, maybe they're
just already like doing their thing and
like, yeah, no, it's everyone at
different levels, you know, a
the age range within the group at this
point is
between I would say like 20 early
(36:35):
20s to like 50s. And
I hope that will continue to expand. But
you know, people are have lived many
lives in the space, you know, so some of
them are grand. There's a grandmother in
the space, mothers,
there's entrepreneurs, musicians,
people who worked in the non-profit
sector for many years and are
(36:55):
transitioning out of it. And
educators, professors, like all these
different types of people,
all starting something, continuing
something, building something.
Or just wanting to like be more creative
in their lives. So really prerequisite
besides wanting to make a
(37:18):
positive impact in your life in the in
the world, generally change makers who
are committed to liberation in some form
or fashion, right. And want to commit to
mind, body, spirit. Yeah. Oh, I love
that. And I I really like what you said
about like, you know, when you are
looking for groups and when you do go
into. Different meet-ups and classes,
(37:39):
workshops, having the intention of
building like community and building
connections. And I do think that
that you know requires you being a little
bit vulnerable and sharing about yourself
versus because you know how when you're
kids like people are like, OK, this is
going to be your friend like this is like
people introduce you. But like as adults
you have to be like, OK, I need to if I
(38:00):
want to make more connections and people
that have shared values and interests and
that's like a like you have to take. A
little bit of responsibility on your end
to to start it off. Totally. I
mean, I I think it's fair to say that for
the most, for the majority of us, adult
friendships and building adult
friendships is difficult. Like it's hard.
(38:20):
It's awkward. You don't know how to do
it. I don't know. I'll speak for myself.
It's hard. I don't. It's strange. It's
so much more challenging than school
time, for sure. But
yes, there is something about going to a
workshop with the intention of.
Of being vulnerable and saying I'm
looking to develop my friendships and
(38:40):
build my community. It is vulnerable. And
also like, we're so not alone in that,
you knowYeah, yeahAnd just like
normalizing it that like, oh, this is
something that we do and as adults we
need to. And I really love that.
Is there anything that you want to share
in general about community with the
(39:00):
listeners that you think would be helpful?
Yeah, well, I'll share one thing. I'm
co-facilitating with a sister friend,
Lakshmi, a series starting
in September at the end of September. So
I don't know if this will be aired by
then, but cool. It starts
on September 30th and it's called
Embodying Shakti. We are
(39:21):
drawing on the 10
primary Tantric goddess archetypes.
It's, you know, everyone from Kalima to
Bhairavi, who's a crone,
you know, witchy widow
archetype. And yeah, kind of just
exploring these archetypes within us
(39:43):
and it's for women and
non-binary change makers. And it's yet
another space, right, to connect with
people who are interested in in the
Divine Feminine in. In
Tantric goddess archetypes, in learning
about this lineage, whether or not you're
South Asian, it doesn't matter if you're
interested in it, it's a space.
(40:05):
And if you're interested in
self-reflection and
confronting these powerful and shadowy
facets of each of us, that happens to
be in the Tantric pantheon of
what is divine so. That's
starting. It's virtual. It's on Mondays
and it's a 12/12 workshop
(40:25):
series, but drop-ins are welcome. So
yeah, it's coming up and it'll be really,
really powerful. Yeah, I agree. I feel
like there's so many different groups
that you create and I love that. Like
how much diversity of thought you allow
in and how inclusive it is from that
perspective because. I think that's
something where you know that hesitation.
(40:46):
Well once you know, once you've been to
one group then you're then you're
comfortable. But a lot of times initial
it's like the hesitancy is like you don't
know like how inclusive
someone is even though they may say it.
So I think I really love that about your
groups and like the work that you do.
Thanks so much Suki. Yeah, I appreciate
that. So how can your, I know you said
(41:07):
it's on your website, the reverb. How can
people find you?Where do you hang out
like?Yeah, so
my collective Mosaic I started off as my
private practice seven years ago and now
it's changing into an artist collective.
And so mosaiceyecollective.com is
where you'll see all of that. That's
where a lot of our group work is
(41:28):
shared. And
Instagram is Mosaic I
MOSAICE. YE
and then my personal website where I
offer one-on-one work and other
things that are in development is my
first and last name Co. So Chetna Mehta
Co OK awesome. I'll make sure I
(41:51):
put these links in the show notes so then
people know where to find you. Thank you
so much for being on this episode
because. I think when talking about
community, I couldn't have thought of
another person that would, you know, open
up our minds in this way and like share
so much, so many cool things that you're
working on. Thanks so much, Suki. I
appreciate you. Thank you.
(42:12):
Hey, if you're listening to this podcast
and wondering how I can help you break
free of your cycles, especially those
that hold you back in business, I'm happy
to chat. You can sign up for a
consultation without any preparation
needed. At
sukhilifecoach.com/freeconsult
and we can talk about your cycles and how
(42:32):
to break free of them. Cheers to breaking
more much needed generational cycles.
Welcome to the Cycle Breaker podcast. I'm
your host, Sukhi Kaur, a certified
feminist life coach, and I'm here to help
you navigate being a woman of color
entrepreneur, breaking generational
cycles and letting go of imposter
syndrome. Here you will learn to create
self-awareness around the truth of who
you are and see your ability to
(00:30):
change how you experience yourself. And
further the results you create in your
life. So let's break these much needed
cycles together here in community.
Welcome back to the Cycle Breaker
(00:50):
podcast. Today we have a very special
guest, Chitna Mehta, who knows a thing or
two about building and leveraging
community as an entrepreneur. Whether
you're starting out or looking to take
your business to the next level,
understanding the power of community is
essential. Chitna, introduce
yourself, because I think if I go about
it, I'll just go on and share all the
(01:11):
programs I've been in with you and all
the different communities. So I'll let
you do that. Thanks so much, Suki, for
having me on the podcast. Yeah, I am
a granddaughter of Indian and South
African diasporas. My
immigrant and third culture identities
inform a lot of who I am and what I do
(01:31):
and how I approach people and the
land and situations in my
life. I am an
alchemist, as I like to identify most
as I've gotten to witness so much.
Just sheer magic that science is
still catching up to in terms of how
people can transform, how we
(01:53):
can transform some of the most
challenging things in our lives into
such gold, into such
insight, into such beauty and connection
and purpose. I trained
as a therapist and so I call myself a
therapeutic facilitator. I love to
facilitate in one-on-one spaces with.
(02:15):
Activists and change makers and then
also in groups, which is what I've been
honored to share. Yeah,
in different capacities. Yeah, I love
that. I've been part of, I think maybe
three of your groups and I love the the,
I think the first one that I was in is a
South Asian Femmes group. And it was all
(02:35):
about like decolonizing patriarchy,
understanding our relationship,
especially looking at the cultural lens
and how patriarchy impacts our
relationships. And I think it was things
that I never really thought of. And I
think as my friends group, we usually
don't talk about this stuff. But I think
one of the activities was like,
(02:55):
you know, understanding how does
patriarchy impact your relationship with
other like females in your, you know,
in your life. And we did a whole entire
activity. So and then the most
recent one that I loved and I was telling
you earlier that that's actually feel
like one of the reasons why I was like
brave enough to be like, let me put my
(03:16):
podcast episodes that I recorded like
last year and it was
called Your Inner Critic or Healing Your
Inner Critic. I think it was,
yeah, Alchemizing Your Inner Critic and
it was super helpful and I really
appreciate it. So that's why I wanted to
have you on the podcast of. I think
it's so important to just have the right
(03:38):
communities, but I know you go on a
deeper level of, you know, even first
understanding what does community mean
for you?Because I know culturally it just
means different things and how we've seen
it model. And this is a cycle breaker
podcast. So of course, like understanding
like your own, like what suits you best
and what serves you best is so important.
(04:01):
Absolutely. Yeah. With the South Asian
Femme Disruptors Circle, that
in and of itself was such a healing for
me coming from
just a lot of like wounding around
belonging around enoughness,
adequacy. Am I Indian enough?Am I
Gujrathi enough?Right. I'm 3
(04:22):
generations South African and so.
I am somewhat removed from India and
Indian culture, although because of
apartheid in South Africa, there was a
preservation of culture, actually some
really weird warped kind of ****** **
way, you know, but also in a beautiful
way that my cousins growing up in South
Africa, they speak Gujarati. They, you
(04:44):
know, make Gujarati food. They love
Gujarati food sometimes. They've grew up,
grown up with my grandparents. They have
that intergenerational wisdom
accessible to them. They're exposed
to multi-generational lives that are
close to them, which is so precious. Like
that just is
so important that I don't have here
(05:05):
necessarily, right?I don't have an
inherited community that's
multi-generational that have chosen me
and I've chosen them just by way of our
inheritance, right?
I. Didn't want to work with
South Asian folks for a long time that
they were not my people to work with. I
was mostly working with creatives as an
(05:26):
artist and activists and change makers.
So identities by way of what I did in my
life or where I found purpose. Those are
the folks that I resonated with and who
resonated with me. But over
time, you know, I was at the time
married to an African American man. And
that also really helped me like kind of
embrace my own culture more. As I
(05:47):
witnessed him and his family really
like embracing their culture, I wanted to
embrace mine and and add something and
contribute something to our larger
family. So that contributed a lot to
wanting to embrace my own culture, my own
lineage, and then recognizing that, oh,
when I'm far away from my family
embedded in another culture. And another
(06:10):
culture at large being society and and
and you know, my community overall based
on where I was living Colorado at the
time. All of these
factors really pushed me into, I
love my culture. I love Diwali. I love,
you know, garbas. I love tree. I
love, you know, I love all
(06:33):
of these different ceremonies, rituals,
things that I grew up with that I took
for granted. And then, you know, in 2020.
Where it really came to surface
not only at large the deep
racism and violence that's been present
in our society, but also the
(06:53):
internalized racism that Indians and they
see people have that. Yeah, just because
we're like, I don't know, there's a lot
of posts of like just because you're
brown doesn't mean that you're not racist
and you don't have any internal biases
and like you don't. It's like. It doesn't
give you a pass at not looking inward and
seeing how you may be contributing or
what, you know, just being honest with
(07:15):
yourself first, like nobody needs to post
about it on social media, but like, even
being brave enough to look inward. Yeah,
absolutely. Yeah. That reckoning was at
the forefront and it was urgent.
And and then, you know, in my marriage,
I was reckoning with, wow, there's some
realities of. My then partners that I
(07:36):
would just never understand, I would
never understand what it means to be a
black man in America, right. RightThere's
I can empathize to a degree,
but I cannot be like that pillar of
support in the way that say, you know,
some of his other
community members can be who identify as
black in America. So that was
(07:58):
really challenging and
and yeah, and so. I
finally realized, like, holy **** by way
of also meeting other quote, UN quote,
outcast Indians,
folks who've been divorced or, you
know, just adopt A different way
of thinking when it comes to what
(08:20):
liberation is, what making a
successful life is, right?I started to
meet folks like that, and that
really helped me recognize that, oh,
there's probably enough of us out here.
To build community with and to own our
culture with and to own what success
means to us and to heal some
(08:41):
of the rifts that that happened within a
South Asian patriarchal
space, right around female
relationships, around sexuality, around
queerness, around casteism.
So that was such a big healing
for me to even feel.
Valid and brave enough is what it really
(09:03):
felt like to to put out that call
for South Asian disruptors,
you know, Yeah. And we even talked about
it like I think many of us brought up of,
you know, normally I wouldn't share, I
wouldn't feel comfortable sharing this
with other South Asian females, but here
I feel comfortable and it was kind of
eye-opening that it just, it may just be
(09:25):
a different type of community or maybe.
You don't. We need to be that close to
relate in order to have a deep
conversation and feel seen and feel
heard. And it, you know, sometimes we
just kind of cone in on who our
immediate friends and family are, but it
doesn't really need to be. These are like
literally strangers on the Internet
around the world. And then you can feel
(09:47):
seen and talk about certain topics that
I don't think like it's been. I think we
all had that in common or most of us.
Said that of like, this is something new
to us and it was eye-opening to be like,
oh, it doesn't. It could look
differently. So it was really nice. Yeah.
Thanks for sharing that. You know, it is
really interesting. I feel called to
(10:08):
share something that's very live and
present for me around community. What
does it mean to be
from a culture and a family that I love?I
love my family. They've been there for
me, you know, in some of the most.
Meaningful, difficult, challenging times
of my life. Like they are unlike
(10:28):
anybody else in my world, right?
And there's just certain things that I
feel continuously hurt by in
terms of capacity for intimacy
or, you know, shared
values around liberation or
to some degree anti-capitalism,
(10:49):
anti-white supremacy, right?
Politically. And also just
like how, how, how I feel my love is
received or given or
yeah. So there's like certain things just
I feel like I've been continuously
since being a child, like kind of missed
or like heartbroken with. And I have to
(11:10):
reckon with that and to hold the both and
that I like so love my family and like
they're the most precious people ever.
And also, like, I've been heartbroken.
That's been a very living, breathing
thing in my life recently. And I'm
opening up to what is it like to
also choose family,
(11:31):
like to choose to to develop chosen
family through friendships and through
other relationships without feeling like
I'm betraying my family of origin. Yeah,
that's actually something that I really
resonate with that too. Thank you for
sharing that, because I think. Sometimes
when we say, oh, you know, when we
prioritize friendships and even the way
we spend our time, it may look different
(11:53):
from how our family think. Like it's
almost like, oh, then you're not trying
to be as close to us if you're going to
go prioritize someone else in that day or
in that week. But it really doesn't need
to. And there's enough space for it to be
both. In my family, like my
parents are first generation, they're
immigrants. And so they had a lot of, we
have a lot of family friends. But when it
(12:15):
came to, so we had extended
family that wasn't our blood related, but
they're, you know, just as close. But
and that was OK for them because they
came to a new country and it's the same
culture. But I realized
that, you know, when it's my friendships
and they may not be the same culture and
it's not the same reason, it's not taken
(12:36):
as well. So I think having that both and
not having that guilt of like. This
is just a reality that, you know, like we
said, like community can be different
things and we do need support in
different ways and it's whatever
serves us, right. So totally.
And it's so normal this, this concept of
chosen family is so normalized when we
(12:57):
get married, right.
Our partner's family is chosen family in
a way. And yet we formalize it with some
legal whatever, but.
When it's not dealing with marriage, it's
not accepted as much. And like when I was
married, right, my family did recognize
like, oh, now you're part of their family
(13:18):
and like we respect that and like all the
patriarchal things around, like now
you're their daughter-in-law and stuff,
right?But then after I got divorced, it
was such a weird liminal space with my
family because I still had my boundaries,
I still had my life experience, I still
had my values, but I was seen now as like
a maiden again. As opposed to someone
(13:39):
who's been through all of my experience,
I I was seen kind of as like dependent
to some degree, which is so interesting
energetically, even though it was never
spoken right to some degree,
you knowAnd so, yeah, so now it's just
like, oh, I don't need to get married to
have a chosen family that. That is
(14:00):
equally as important to me as my family
of origin. And so I'm kind of exploring
that. And I'm also exploring this like in
between space. Like a lot of my friends
who have developed beautiful chosen
family are either estranged from their
families or they've been like disowned
or you know, pushed away because of their
queerness or what have you. So they've
(14:21):
kind of been forced into. Developing
chosen family and I don't see enough or
or hear enough about like the liminal
space of like no, I have a family that
loves me, that accepts me more or less
for who I am. And what's it
like then to still want to develop a
chosen family beyond that, especially
being immigrants to this country where we
(14:42):
don't have those multi-generational,
multi-layered extended family members
available to us. We also have family
friends. And even
that, you know, the the depth of the
relationship, how we actually know each
other is limited. It's all about like
getting together and having fun and and
yeah, supporting each other through big
milestones. Though I don't necessarily
(15:03):
feel like we really deeply know each
other or there's like a consistency with
me so much as there are with my family,
with my parents. So yeah,
yeah, I I love that you shared about like
after being divorced, like then you go
back to being maiden cause. I'm divorced
and I I live on my own. I'm very
independent. But then when it comes to
(15:23):
going to like family stuff, you know how
well, I don't know if everybody does, but
you take these family pictures with the
bride or the groom or so then like my
parents always make sure that like
there's I have to be in their photo with
them, which is fine. But it's almost like
even if I decide to go on my own and be
like, hey, I'll just meet you at the
banquet hall, there is just like this big
(15:44):
anxiety of like. Oh, so it's it's
now it's physically showing that you're
separate, even though people know that I,
you know what I mean?So it's just very
much like this odd thing that we're
navigating through still. But it's just,
it's just kind of funny to be like, oh,
it's not really, it doesn't have to be a
big deal. But then sometimes when people
get favors like, oh, here, one for you.
(16:05):
And it's almost like a bit awkward if
somebody recognize it in the odd way. But
yeah. Totally. And you know, it
relates so much to entrepreneurship too,
right?To be an entrepreneur is to be
solo in a way, right?A lot of times
we work for organizations or
institutions. We sort of inherit
(16:27):
like a a colleague family or we inherit
like co-workers and we inherit the
sort of multi-generational mentors or
whatever. We inherit a system, right?
But if we're an entrepreneur, we don't.
We don't most times, right. We kind of
are solo where we're that like
heading to the banquet alone. Oh, wow,
(16:48):
you're, you know, you don't have a team,
you don't have a. And so it
does require such intentionality to
choose, to choose our
colleagues, to choose our mentors, to
choose our consultants. And it does take
more work. Though there are, you know,
there are so many of us out here, the
same thing and even creating spaces for
(17:10):
it. So it totally relates.
Yeah. I think once you start looking for
a use or at least start giving some
spaces a chance and then you see what
works, what doesn't. Because sometimes,
like, you know how you say you show up on
your own. When I used to go to certain
networking events, that was like, oh,
like. Hey, this is my business. And then
it's like it. I know in the back of my
(17:30):
mind it's just me, but for work I was
used to going with a team or having like
a big name and being like, oh, this is
who I represent. Now it's like I just
represent like my passion and
like here I am. So I totally, totally
resonate with that. And then also like
when it comes to entrepreneurship, I
think realizing that. If it's
(17:51):
not one place, you can't keep
looking for, you know, a group cause I
have some local groups here where I feel
so great to, you know, we talk about a
topic, we share our experiences, what
our learnings are. Somebody will do a
presentation like it's just nice to have
that community. But it took me a couple
of years to find it because I used to go
(18:13):
to these events and be like, OK, like.
No one I know is a life coach in my
family or friends and they don't even
know what that is. And then they're like,
that doesn't make sense. And then here I
am trying to find other people that are
like, you know, talking about what
they're passionate about, even if they're
not making as much or, you know, you
don't need to have the results in front
of you in order to say, oh, this is my
(18:35):
business. It doesn't mean that you need
to have a certain revenue. But I think
sometimes when I'm talking to like.
People, folks in my community went like
within my family, friends, like it's just
like, oh, so how well is it?Like, you
know, is it as well as you're doing at
your job?And it's like, it doesn't have
one. It doesn't have really anything to
do with the other, right?Cause it's
almost like dismissing in a way. So
(18:56):
yeah, it's looking at, again, per usual,
like pedestalizing revenue, cash profit.
It's pure capitalism, right?It's like,
oh, there's so many other currencies.
That we are accessing through our
entrepreneurship. We're accessing
courage, we're accessing purpose, we're
accessing self-discovery, we're accessing
impact in the ways that we want to make
(19:16):
the impact, right. Yeah,
right. But that doesn't matter. It's all
about like, well, how much are you making?
And like, are you getting paid as much as
when you were working for
corporate?It's like, no, I'm not yet.
Maybe. Who knows?Doesn't matter. Yeah, it
doesn't really matter. And then it's also
like. And there's like some pressure on
(19:38):
when it's a business to be like, oh,
because I think like at least in in the
Indian community here, it's like, oh, you
have a gas station or you have a hotel
and then it's like it shows and then you
build on it. But a lot of times when we
do this type of work, you don't really
show it as much. It's like social media
and like posts and you're figuring it out
and it doesn't have to look the same. But
(19:58):
somewhere there's more pressure for the
business to be super successful quickly
versus like, you knowWhen someone gets a
job, they've been through school, they've
been to another degree, they've gone
through internships, gone through
different experiences, and then you're
like at the job that you want or like
where you feel more comfortable. But it
takes time and I think that's taken out
(20:20):
of like proportion and and you're just
kind of like not as well. It doesn't seem
like it's relevant, but if you put it in
that perspective still, it's still, it's
the same thing. So yeah,
totally. I would love for you to
share something that was like really
helpful for me when we did that, like
the circles, like the relationship map.
(20:42):
And because I was thinking about
today, like community doesn't really need
to be like only like, you
know, friendships and networking groups
and other entrepreneurs, but like even I
think of like. People that support
me, like it can be your chiropractor and
literally your acupuncturist or like your
(21:03):
therapist, like those are all like
different levels, right?So I would love
for you to like share a little bit more
about, I think you call their
relationship mapping, right?The circle
within a certain, yeah, yeah, this is a
potentially a great practice for like
listeners to do if that feels resonant,
but in the South Asian femme disruptors.
(21:23):
Group. We did an exercise
where we put all of our
relationships as many as we can. I can
think of on on the page or
I in my case, I did it on my iPad just
because it was more like dynamic. I could
change things and
we put,
we symbolize those relationships by
(21:45):
circles. And if the circle was really
big, that means it was a really big
relationship in our lives. If it was
really small, it's still a relationship
in our life, but perhaps doesn't take up
a lot of our time or energy or emotions,
et cetera. Then we played
with like clustering those circles. Like
these are all, you know, my my yoga
(22:05):
community. These are all my my business
community members. These are my
friendships from university. These are my
family members, right?And then
of course we are at the center, me is at
the at the center. And so these circles
were relationally
placed on the map. Based on how close
(22:25):
these relationships were to me. So I had
a bunch of relationships in South Africa
that were further away, and the size of
the circle showed me visually
how close they were to me emotionally
or mentally, right?So they could be far
away, but I could still make a big
relationship in my life. Another
(22:46):
segment I had on my map were people I
don't know necessarily, but impact me,
right?Teachers. Social media people,
authors, right?Who I think about a
good amount and I speak their name when I
reference them, right?The likes of
Adrienne Marie Brown or Lama Rod Owens
or Tara Brock, like various
(23:09):
people who I look to. Krishna Murthy,
like they were all on my mouth because I
literally developed my life based on what
I've heard they they teach, right?So
there's that. And then I also had.
Non-human kin, non-human
community, like certain trees that I've
had like deep connections with all around
(23:31):
the world or
the hummingbirds where I was living. When
I did that circle, I there were tons of
hummingbirds everywhere and they were
so reliable. I could go outside and meet
at least a few hummingbirds. And that
impacted my day every day, right?
Non-human relationships on there as well
(23:52):
is such a decolonial perspective on how
connected we really are.
And the last thing I'll say is also
like spiritual deities
or what is divine to me was also on
my on my map and that
are that those were the like, you know,
(24:13):
the divine archetypes. For me,
you know, Kalima and
Lakshmi and Shiva are all really
important to me. I grew up with them. And
then also like Eshu, the Yoruban
trickster archetype is also a really
important force in my life that brings
play and spontaneity and like kind of
(24:34):
like pushing boundaries a little bit
sometimes. Yeah, all
archetypes and characters that also play
a part in my relationships. Oh, I
love that because I really, you know,
you talking about your relationship app
really shows like there's no limitation,
there's no rule and there's no because I,
(24:54):
you know, when you say, oh, the authors
and other social media people, like
sometimes I listen to certain podcasts or
audiobooks and they do impact me where
like. I'll buy the, I'll have the audio
book on my app, but then I'll buy the
actual book. So I have it. So it's like
that special. But I, you know, even for
myself, like when I heard you say that,
(25:14):
that like opens up, you know, my mind of
like, oh, community is so much more than,
you know, when we think. And it's nice to
hear other people talk about what they
think, like, especially you sharing.
Yeah. And even non-human community.
I've recently, I was telling my cousin, I
was like, I recently been seeing like.
Butterflies and like, I went to England
(25:35):
in the summer for a week and I saw them
there too. And then she was like, well,
did you see one today?And then we were
just in like a supermarket drive through
and then we saw one and I was like, I
don't know, it's happening, but like it's
around. So you don't ever feel like
you're taking a walk alone or like
whatever it is. But I love that because
(25:55):
there's not limitations to community and
I think especially as an entrepreneur.
I think it's, well, in my experience, I
feel like it's inevitable for someone to
be like, oh, look, I'm part of a group.
I'm not doing this by myself. Especially
if you're a solar entrepreneur, like you
have to start that way. And like, there
are times where it's just like, am I on
(26:16):
an island by myself?But you know,
just redefining, I think reframing
what community is, is so important. It
is. It's a reframe, right?And it's a
reframe that challenges us
to. Divest from
rugged individualism, right?Even as
entrepreneurship can feel like a solo
(26:36):
venture, we are standing on the
shoulders of many people who have started
their own businesses or whatever. I know
in my lineage, I stand on many people who
have started our own businesses.
Entrepreneurship is in my blood, in my
lineage, you know?And I imagine if we
each really looked at that, it
exists. Not only that, the world is
(26:57):
so. At our fingertips now, right?
YouTube, YouTube University
is a whole thing, right?And like,
there's so much we could get insight into
it in someone's personality, in their
wisdom, in their teachers, in their
perspectives, just by way of YouTube. And
(27:17):
and I don't think it's it's wrong to
acknowledge it like, wow, this person on
YouTube has really impacted me and they
feel. Yeah,
definitely.
And yeah, OK, we're not friends at all.
We don't know each other and I don't know
them outside of the, you know, that
(27:38):
little box that they're in. Though
the way my body responds, right,
there is a connection there and I can't.
And then also like, you know, with
loneliness being such. An
epidemic, you know, in the world,
especially in this country, in a
very fatal way, right?
(28:01):
It's also speaking to our
disconnection to the land and to animals
and to trees and to the plants and to,
you know, the elements of nature that are
around us, that are responding to us,
that we're responding to. And so
remembering that is so important
because we are never alone, right?And to.
(28:24):
To prioritize just our human
relationships is a form of human
supremacy, which is also what is harming
the planet. So to
remember our non-human kin and
community and to have something like a
relationship map that shows us so
much of that and shows us in these like
(28:44):
circles and colors and shapes.
How we are so interconnected just by way
of what we can consciously even recognize
and put on a page, right. It's just a
really beautiful reminder. And I turn to
my map regularly when I'm
when I don't have the perspective of how
interdependent and connected I actually
am. Yeah. And and I really like this
(29:05):
because I think it takes off the pressure
of, you know, when we think of community
and when we think, oh, I feel alone, it's
not always dependent on someone else.
Another human, like another human
changing or you changing or doing a lot
of work. It can be as simple as like like
you said, you can go outside and like hug
your favorite tree or like just go
outside and take a walk. And like there
(29:27):
are, there is so much going on around us
and it does. I think sometimes that
perspective is like the mindset's really
limited to be like, oh, I need to have
close relationships and sometimes we
limit and what that is and how that looks
like and yeah. Absolutely.
Yeah. Like even I'm living by myself
alone for the first time in my life. I've
(29:48):
always lived with other people or
cooperatively, or I've always had
housemates, and I'm living solo for
the first time. Solo, right?Quote UN
quotes. As in, I'm the only human
occupying this dwelling, but I have lots
of plants and I get to
witness and watch them grow and change
and dry out sometimes. And like need
(30:10):
adjustments in their care and
it requires me to slow down, right?To be
in a non-human community requires a
different pace than being with human
community. Being with human community
most times is actually very fast and like
there's a lot going on and there's a lot
of energy and sometimes depending on the
(30:31):
person of course, but with plants and
with animals it requires such a slowness.
Such an observation, such a deep
listening because we don't speak
our verbal languages, right?We speak a
different language. And so it
is an adjustment, much like being
with an extroverted person versus an
introverted person, right?All
(30:53):
very different, but like a different set
of languages and wisdom. And exchange.
And so, yeah, being with non-human
community is such a different experience
and it's something we have to adjust to
and intend to feel into.
Yeah, I resonate with that so much. It's
been, I think in October, it'll be
(31:13):
five years since I've been living on my
own. So like, it was a big adjustment,
but I do have plans as well. And I think
like just even realizing like.
You know, you're not the only living
thing in like my like for me, like on
my apartment, like it's nice to be like,
oh, maybe seeing how like you do
need to slow down and maybe repot or like
(31:36):
just change what window they're near or
not put them too much water or whatever.
It's just nice to see that something else
is growing, but then it also has
its phases. But I think as people. We
put a lot of pressure of like it should
be linear and it should be quick and it
doesn't shouldn't need a lot of all the
all the shoulds, right, all the rules
(31:56):
that we have. So yeah, yeah
So I guess like what would you say like
if someone is like, OK, I need to. Like
I wanna find people that I
would, you know, relate more to. I don't
know where to start. Like what would you?
I know you said you started your own,
like that you were just brave enough to
start your own community. But I guess if
(32:17):
somebody is like thinking about like
culturally sensitive groups or like what,
how would you go tell somebody?Like what
would you suggest?Yeah,
you know, in some ways I did start my own
and in many ways I've joined communities
that already exist cause like it takes a
lot to start your own. And if the energy
is not so, like there's probably
(32:39):
something that exists. And if something
does not exist, then maybe it is a
responsibility to to start it
though how I and I continue to do
this right, especially as I'm now
stepping into the inquiry and practice of
like what does it mean to develop chosen
family?I really follow
what interests me. I follow
(33:00):
what I'm curious about and I'll go to
events or workshops or
gatherings centered around that. So for
example, I'm plant-based vegan, so
when I moved here, I was looking up all
the like vegan meetups, right?
Or if there's a particular type of
interest within your entrepreneurship
(33:21):
journey, right?Like. I
don't know, heart-centered marketing, for
example, like marketing from a more
embodied or heart-felt place, right?
Look up, look up like, you know,
workshops or classes that
center that priority or that value and go
there with the intention of developing
(33:41):
relationships, right?And healing out
these people who came with shared value
and interest. Right. Important.
Or as an artist, right?Like, OK, I'm
interested in meeting other BIPOC artists
in my space. How do I go about doing
that?And it could be
virtual, it could be in person. You know,
(34:03):
I think such beautiful community can be
formed virtually. Some of my closest
friends, actually today I've met
virtually 1st and then I agree. Yeah, you
know, and I'm like, Oh my God, it feels
the same. You're just taller than I
thought or whatever, you know?Yeah,
so. Yeah, that's really
beautiful. I
started a community called the River, and
(34:24):
this is for change makers and
creatives who want to
be in community around mind, body, spirit
and to be a part of a movement
to be in what we call creative everflow.
And that is recognizing that creativity
is always accessible to us. There is an
abundance of it, actually, especially
(34:45):
when we are in. Community with each other
and we're just like inspiring each other
by way of our being. And so in the river,
it's virtual, it's a membership
community and we do yoga classes, we
meditate together, we co-work together,
we learn together. People in the
community host workshops
on restoring or
(35:07):
anti-racism or soul collage,
so. Oh, very cool. I'm definitely
gonna check that out myself. Please do.
It'd be so fun to have you. Yeah. Can you
share how somebody would go about finding
the river?Just so
absolutely. It's on our website,
mosaiceyecollective.com/the
(35:28):
River, and we also share a lot
about it on Instagram.
Yeah, it's it's really beautiful. There's
a lot of information online about it,
including the events that are
happening in the upcoming season,
some of what the members have shared
and and yeah, there's always.
(35:50):
There's always an opportunity to dip in
and see what it's like. And really we are
building community and the community is
so beautiful. I would not have imagined
like how welcoming people are. People
really take it upon themselves to like
welcome folks and
it's just really beautiful. Oh, I love
that. And is it, would you say it's,
you know, people that are starting off in
(36:12):
their business or is it just everyone at
different levels and that's not really.
Because I think sometimes people kind of
hesitate to be like, oh, maybe they're
just already like doing their thing and
like, yeah, no, it's everyone at
different levels, you know, a
the age range within the group at this
point is
between I would say like 20 early
(36:35):
20s to like 50s. And
I hope that will continue to expand. But
you know, people are have lived many
lives in the space, you know, so some of
them are grand. There's a grandmother in
the space, mothers,
there's entrepreneurs, musicians,
people who worked in the non-profit
sector for many years and are
(36:55):
transitioning out of it. And
educators, professors, like all these
different types of people,
all starting something, continuing
something, building something.
Or just wanting to like be more creative
in their lives. So really prerequisite
besides wanting to make a
(37:18):
positive impact in your life in the in
the world, generally change makers who
are committed to liberation in some form
or fashion, right. And want to commit to
mind, body, spirit. Yeah. Oh, I love
that. And I I really like what you said
about like, you know, when you are
looking for groups and when you do go
into. Different meet-ups and classes,
(37:39):
workshops, having the intention of
building like community and building
connections. And I do think that
that you know requires you being a little
bit vulnerable and sharing about yourself
versus because you know how when you're
kids like people are like, OK, this is
going to be your friend like this is like
people introduce you. But like as adults
you have to be like, OK, I need to if I
(38:00):
want to make more connections and people
that have shared values and interests and
that's like a like you have to take. A
little bit of responsibility on your end
to to start it off. Totally. I
mean, I I think it's fair to say that for
the most, for the majority of us, adult
friendships and building adult
friendships is difficult. Like it's hard.
(38:20):
It's awkward. You don't know how to do
it. I don't know. I'll speak for myself.
It's hard. I don't. It's strange. It's
so much more challenging than school
time, for sure. But
yes, there is something about going to a
workshop with the intention of.
Of being vulnerable and saying I'm
looking to develop my friendships and
(38:40):
build my community. It is vulnerable. And
also like, we're so not alone in that,
you knowYeah, yeahAnd just like
normalizing it that like, oh, this is
something that we do and as adults we
need to. And I really love that.
Is there anything that you want to share
in general about community with the
(39:00):
listeners that you think would be helpful?
Yeah, well, I'll share one thing. I'm
co-facilitating with a sister friend,
Lakshmi, a series starting
in September at the end of September. So
I don't know if this will be aired by
then, but cool. It starts
on September 30th and it's called
Embodying Shakti. We are
(39:21):
drawing on the 10
primary Tantric goddess archetypes.
It's, you know, everyone from Kalima to
Bhairavi, who's a crone,
you know, witchy widow
archetype. And yeah, kind of just
exploring these archetypes within us
(39:43):
and it's for women and
non-binary change makers. And it's yet
another space, right, to connect with
people who are interested in in the
Divine Feminine in. In
Tantric goddess archetypes, in learning
about this lineage, whether or not you're
South Asian, it doesn't matter if you're
interested in it, it's a space.
(40:05):
And if you're interested in
self-reflection and
confronting these powerful and shadowy
facets of each of us, that happens to
be in the Tantric pantheon of
what is divine so. That's
starting. It's virtual. It's on Mondays
and it's a 12/12 workshop
(40:25):
series, but drop-ins are welcome. So
yeah, it's coming up and it'll be really,
really powerful. Yeah, I agree. I feel
like there's so many different groups
that you create and I love that. Like
how much diversity of thought you allow
in and how inclusive it is from that
perspective because. I think that's
something where you know that hesitation.
(40:46):
Well once you know, once you've been to
one group then you're then you're
comfortable. But a lot of times initial
it's like the hesitancy is like you don't
know like how inclusive
someone is even though they may say it.
So I think I really love that about your
groups and like the work that you do.
Thanks so much Suki. Yeah, I appreciate
that. So how can your, I know you said
(41:07):
it's on your website, the reverb. How can
people find you?Where do you hang out
like?Yeah, so
my collective Mosaic I started off as my
private practice seven years ago and now
it's changing into an artist collective.
And so mosaiceyecollective.com is
where you'll see all of that. That's
where a lot of our group work is
(41:28):
shared. And
Instagram is Mosaic I
MOSAICE. YE
and then my personal website where I
offer one-on-one work and other
things that are in development is my
first and last name Co. So Chetna Mehta
Co OK awesome. I'll make sure I
(41:51):
put these links in the show notes so then
people know where to find you. Thank you
so much for being on this episode
because. I think when talking about
community, I couldn't have thought of
another person that would, you know, open
up our minds in this way and like share
so much, so many cool things that you're
working on. Thanks so much, Suki. I
appreciate you. Thank you.
(42:12):
Hey, if you're listening to this podcast
and wondering how I can help you break
free of your cycles, especially those
that hold you back in business, I'm happy
to chat. You can sign up for a
consultation without any preparation
needed. At
sukhilifecoach.com/freeconsult
and we can talk about your cycles and how
(42:32):
to break free of them. Cheers to breaking
more much needed generational cycles.
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