October 17, 2024 • 22 mins
In this episode of The Cycle Breaker Podcast, Sukhi Kaur dives deep into the intersection of mental health, entrepreneurship, and the unique challenges faced by women of color, especially first-generation entrepreneurs. She reflects on the significance of mental health, not just on World Mental Health Day, but as a daily practice, emphasizing the importance of support systems, setting boundaries, and breaking free from cultural taboos and limiting beliefs.
Sukhi shares personal insights on how the pressure of cultural expectations, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism can weigh heavily on us as we navigate business and personal growth. She explores how to set boundaries from a place of self-love and how to embrace support in your journey—whether that’s in your business, mental health, or day-to-day life.
You’ll leave this episode with practical reflections on how to identify when you need support, create personalized plans that work for you, and prioritize your mental health consistently without striving for perfection.
Tune in to learn how to:
- Break through limiting beliefs shaped by cultural and generational expectations
- Navigate mental health challenges as a woman of color entrepreneur
- Create a supportive environment for yourself while managing business pressures
- Embrace the power of setting boundaries with grace and self-compassion
If you’re ready to break free from cycles that hold you back in business and life, visit sukhilifecoach.com/freeconsult to schedule a free consultation.
Cheers to breaking much-needed generational cycles!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Welcome to the Cycle Breaker podcast. I'm
your host, Suki Kaur, a certified
feminist life coach, and I'm here to help
you navigate being a woman of color
entrepreneur, breaking generational
cycles and letting go of imposter
syndrome. Here you will learn to create
self-awareness around the truth of who
you are and see your ability to
(00:30):
change how you experience yourself. And
further the results you create in your
life. O let's break these much needed
cycles together here in community.
So last week was World Mental Health Day
(00:51):
and I really love that there is a day
where all
together we look at mental health
and acknowledge the importance of it. And
I think in some ways it's great and in
other ways it almost is like, you know,
the emphasis is on it one day
of the year or I know there's Mental
(01:11):
Health Week. But what I want to
emphasize here is that as an
entrepreneur, especially
facing the unique challenges that you
face as a woman of color, first Gen.
especially, I think those
all do add up and impact us in
more impact us in more ways than we may
(01:33):
realize, especially when it comes to
showing up in business. And then doing
something that is more heart-led versus
outward successful looking, you know,
driven. And one of the things that I want
to talk about is that there are
unique challenges in the sense that
(01:54):
it's not really, you know, if you feel
like you don't have the very
skills or the tools or the community
or even just. The capacity to
figure out how to deal with and how to
support yourself when it comes to mental
health, I think that's just, you know,
so necessary to acknowledge it. But then
also just understand that it's nothing
(02:17):
has gone wrong and that it's
actually really understandable that you
may be in this case where there's
a lot of cultural expectations, there's a
lot of family expectations that we hold.
And sometimes that's just something
that's always been a constant. So it
doesn't seem like it's a big thing or a
big difference, but it does weigh on us.
(02:37):
And I think having all that type of
expectation and also dealing with our
internal voices and figuring out how to
navigate, you know, even when there is
success, navigate our imposter syndrome
thoughts and and just like kind of give
ourselves grace, I think that all adds
up. And I would like to acknowledge that,
you know, it's not just you or it's a
(02:58):
personal thing. Even though the way that
you may feel supported is very personal
and it's in its custom to you,
I think it's important to understand that
as a whole, as a woman of color,
especially as those of us that are
entrepreneurs and maybe have toes
in both work and business at the same
(03:19):
time. And of course our family life and
friends and our hobbies, all that
stuff, it adds up so. I wanted to
first start off with just understanding
that there are reasons why
this happens, right?It's not just that
you're you're bad at figuring out how to
support yourself. And then, you know,
(03:40):
there's unique challenges like I
mentioned, for example, really even, and
I don't know if you resonate with this,
but a lot of times, even talking about
struggling with mental health, there's a
lot of taboo in most cultures.
And at least in as a woman
of color, there's a lot of taboo where
either you are supposed to
(04:02):
get, you know,
support within your family or your
community or your friends. But talking at
an outside, talking to an outsider like a
professional therapist is really looked
down upon because then it means
that, you know, you're talking about
things that are supposed to be hush-hush
and may impact. Your family and may
(04:24):
impact, you know, how
you're perceived and and by
indirectly how your family or your
parents or whatever it is that indirectly
there's impact in a larger scheme, right.
And I think when we start looking at
that, then of course it's going to be
some hesitation to be like, oh, do you,
do I think this is even going to help me?
(04:45):
Do I think this is even worth it or not?
And I think I'd like to just, you know,
again, acknowledge that it's not your
fault, it's not personal, but there are
these unique challenges. And I think
understanding that there are
and not just being like, Oh my God, I
can't do anything because I'm gonna blame
it on this. It's just to understand of,
(05:05):
OK, these exist and then I could
still choose to support myself. But
understanding that having grace with
yourself first is the most important
thing, especially to. Avoid, for
example, leading yourself to being
burnt out as a business owner.
Like understanding that setting
(05:26):
boundaries is a lot of times, you know,
people think, oh, I'm going to set this
strict boundary for someone so so that
someone else can know how to behave.
But in my mind, I really set boundaries
out of love, like if I want, for example.
If I struggle in a relationship, I really
set boundaries so that I know what I'm
(05:47):
gonna do. If if this scenario
comes up and it's out of love, it's not
so much to control the other person. It's
more so for me to know, OK, like if
if I have X number of things in a day,
I'm gonna need to say no to this thing or
this timing doesn't work for me. Like
it's OK to. Not have to
(06:07):
be everywhere all at once and
figure out how the right balance for you.
And also sometimes I think what
happens is that you know you may get
questioned. It's very common to get
questioned when you start putting
boundaries down and start, you know,
looking out for yourself with your time
and your energy and your effort. You may
(06:28):
get questioned and I think. Understanding
that that may just come with the package
of like breaking the cycle of saying no
to certain things. You just need to
understand that you don't have to explain
yourself, right?It could just be that
this is how you're going to do things
from now on. And sometimes we feel the
need to explain ourselves and then if
it's not taken well, it's just like this
(06:49):
whole thing. So I think even with that,
I explained myself to who.
I think it would be most helpful to, but
it's really a choice that I give myself
more versus before, even a couple of
years ago, I wouldn't have given myself
the choice or even seen it as a choice.
So I think embracing that,
(07:10):
you know, having grace with yourself that
there are some like limiting
beliefs and and limitations when it comes
to being a woman of
color, entrepreneur, especially first
generation and then also understanding
that. You can have liberation from these
limiting beliefs, but it just may require
you to navigate it in your
(07:33):
scenario a little differently from like
just if say for example is a book that
was general and being like, oh, just say
no. And it's sometimes it's not as simple
and we do have to acknowledge that, hey,
about like five or six people are going
to come ask me like why did you say no to
this?Why didn't you show up?And sometimes
that is just a reality and and I think
it's unfair for us to try to.
(07:55):
Work and live in a way that
that doesn't acknowledge that. Like we of
course have to acknowledge the full
picture. So understanding that
there are tools that can help
with these things that are very unique
and tailored to you specifically.
And you know, the more that we
(08:16):
keep in how we're feeling and if we're
struggling though, sometimes it
creates. Shame and more
it creates that cycle of keep going and
trying to figure it out yourself and
struggle. So I'm not saying that you
know mental health, like you just figure
out one thing and then you're like good
to go. There's various degrees
(08:38):
of what you need and what you may need.
And you know, you may know already that,
like for example.
If you're struggling, like you may know,
like getting fresh air and taking a walk
helps you. I know it helps me for sure.
And sometimes afterwards in high time,
oh, that was really helpful. But
sometimes when I'm struggling, like I
really can't get myself to go outside for
(08:59):
a walk, whether it be for 40 minutes, 10
minutes, 20 minutes, even putting my
shoes on, it's too much at times. And I
think we just need to know that like for
ourselves that there could be.
Different plans like could be an ideal
plan to of course go take a walk, take go
outside during sunlight, 40 minutes,
whatever the route is that helps you
(09:21):
like just let go and feel a little bit
more like you know you're giving yourself
the space that you need. But it it can
also be varying degrees, right?It doesn't
have to be your ideal plan cause we're
trying to get away from. This
perfectionism, especially when it comes
to mental health, because there's so much
online to be like, oh, you know,
(09:44):
you should have this morning routine and
bedtime routine and it should look like
these perfect, I don't know, like these
smoothies that are in these perfect
glasses with these straws. Like, it
doesn't really have to look like that,
right?And in that example of, you know,
it's helpful to take a walk, but you may
not be up for it. It could just look like
getting yourself some fresh air by
opening a window, just cracking a window.
(10:06):
And it can be as simple as that or
putting your blinds up or, you know,
even opening the front door and having
your coffee, sit outside and have it. If
you don't have enough energy, there's it
could just be very tailored. And even
when it comes to business, like I know
sometimes we may think, especially when
it comes to being. Having perfectionist
thoughts like if we let ourselves just
(10:29):
get a little bit of a break and that's
just gonna be habit. Let's I'll give
myself as an example for today.
I had a call really late yesterday and it
was just a really, really busy day and I
had scheduled to
record my podcast and this
episode and somehow I got a phone call
(10:49):
during that time and. I just really
lost track of time and not until I was
going to sleep that I was like, Oh my
goodness, that was Wednesday. And
normally I pre-schedule these episodes
and by midnight on Thursday
it releases on its own. It's already
scheduled and and just shows up on
Spotify. And right now it's Thursday
(11:11):
morning and I'm recording this and I
remember thinking last night when I was
falling asleep of like. Oh, like if
I just do, if I just don't like, you
know, stay up till 12
recording and and posting and. Scheduling
then maybe like this is the first time
this has ever happened where I forgot
what day it is and I lost. It was just
(11:32):
like really tough time for me that
it might just become a habit. And then
that means that my podcast is not
important and that just means I'm just
letting go of business. So you can just
see how much my brain just
naturally not and it's not just personal
to me, just naturally that rabbit hole.
Of just holding on to every
(11:53):
little insecurity and just, you know,
just amplifying every little thing that
can go wrong. So you could just see how
that brain spirals. And then I was like,
you know what?What I really need is to go
to sleep on time so I can get up and I
have a class in the morning that's like
deep stretching and recovering. I think
it's called like yin. My instructor calls
it. It's more so like yin yoga. I don't
(12:16):
even know what that is, but it's more so
where you hold poses and
you really get the
support from different props
and I don't know if everyone runs the
class the same, but you. Are very
supported when you're trying to stay
still in certain positions that are deep
stretches. And I really love this class
(12:38):
because I think it's the only time in the
week, that one hour where I'm
so open to getting support.
Even in this class it was interesting
because the instructor said, you know, it
shouldn't feel like it's painful
and you should be able to hold the pose.
And if it's not, I'll give you more yoga
blocks or more of a of a bolster.
(13:00):
Or a blanket. And I remember the
first few times thinking, oh, I don't
feel any kind of
super stretch or like I'm working my body
too much. And it was like almost like I
had a hard time accepting that support.
And I think this class has really helped
me understand to accept
support in small ways and that
(13:23):
accept the fact that. I don't have
to. I I can
easily embrace easy. I don't
have to be to the point where I'm
struggling and I'm overstretched and you
know when it comes to business overworked
and over, you know, overwhelmed and
stressed and that that's a signal that
I'm working hard. It could be that I get
(13:45):
the support I need and
from different places and that's OK. I
remember even.
You know, that was just an example of my
podcast schedule not being this
perfect way that it's been for, what is
it, like 26 weeks. That one
week I'm like, Oh no, it's gonna go down.
(14:06):
But Even so, like in other
ways, when I'm trying to think of a word
I'm writing for my copy, I I
leverage AI,
right?So like, oh, does this word give
the same tone or just to get some help?
And I remember also even thinking like,
oh. You know, am I
cheating in some way if I ask for help
(14:28):
from somewhere?And it's just so
interesting to think that, like,
it's more acceptable for my
brain to think that I should be in this
overwhelmed state. As a business owner,
and that means I'm working hard rather
than just leveraging all my resources.
And I really learned to leverage my
resources on my job. So I think I've been
(14:50):
able to transfer that skill
set to my business. But when it comes to
being a business owner, I think having
some leeway to be able to
support yourself and figure out how you
need that support is so
important, even when it comes to. You
know how I said it's taboo to even open
(15:10):
up about mental health and any
issues that you may be dealing with. It
could be a professional or you know,
it doesn't always have to be the same
small friend group that you have that you
know you know may not be able to support
you. You can look for other
communities that are
that you know that are more equipped or
(15:32):
more in line with what you believe and.
That can support you in the way you ways
that you need. And there's no shame about
that to go out and look for these things,
whether it's a group or online
community or even
just listening to podcasts or audiobook,
whatever, or just walking in silence. It
could just be anything that you need to
(15:53):
support. But I did want to do this
episode because being a
cycle breaker and doing things that
are. And I guess it's twofold,
right?Like being a generational cycle
breaker, you're taking the values and the
things that you know are that you
believe in, that you have purged, and
(16:14):
you're like, you know, I wanna bring
these values from my roots forward.
And then also at the same time, just
because I'm outgrowing certain limiting
beliefs that I've carried doesn't mean
that I'm letting my roots go. And I think
when when we're breaking some limiting
cycles, there are
obstacles where you'll be questioned or
(16:37):
things will just be harder cause there's
more obstacles. Being a person of color
and being even first generation,
being like for example, having
immigrant parents, I think the survival
mode and struggle is very normalized,
right?And I put that as quotes as I'm
saying it. But I think it doesn't
(16:57):
need to. I think in our like if you're
not in that same position and you don't
have your, you don't need to be in
survival mode. I think it's good to
acknowledge that actually in your case,
you don't actually need to. It's not
actually helpful. It's like the
benefit versus like
outweighing the risks, right?Like in this
(17:19):
case, it may not actually be the most
beneficial. To be in a survival mode
all the time. So I think looking at it in
your own scenario is really
important. So just to
like reiterate, like this is not just
like a one time thing, right?It's more
so a figuring out as you
(17:41):
grow, as you're in this role as a
business owner. How are you changing?How
are your needs changing?Where are your
support systems?What do you need?And
what are like, you know, your ideal ways
that you would like to like like to take
care of yourself?And what are other ways
that you can lean on that you know you
(18:02):
can lean on when you're not able to go
with Plan A and your ideal?Cause you
wanna get away from that perfectionist
like, you know, meal planning and. It has
to be the same like containers and all
these things and just it can get there.
You can get carried away trying to do it
the same way and that also adds to
burnout, right?And whether it
(18:24):
be in business like
leveraging things that make your job
easier, that make your that
make you more available to your
audience and your clients rather
than you spending a ton of time like
writing. Like your copy or
editing things that you can hire someone,
(18:45):
you can use AI, whatever it may be. Like
accepting that that support can be
there for you regardless if it's paid
or not. So All in all,
I'd like for you to, you know, take a
step back and just know
that there are. It's not your
fault if you haven't been able to take
(19:06):
care of like your mental health and
support yourself and. You may
be, you know, more so depending on where
you are, you may be in a hustle mode and
trying to get this done and feel that
pressure at the end of toward the end of
the year. Know that that that makes
sense, right?In the context of
being a woman, being a woman of color,
(19:29):
being a first generation, being an
entrepreneur, being someone that may have
had a corporate position where you know
it required it at some point, some point
it was helpful and just knowing
that like. Makes sense. This
is where we are. This is what we're
trying to figure out what we need. And I
think what I'd like for you to do is,
(19:50):
you know, this week really reflect on
what are ideal ways of you to take care
of yourself when you may not be feeling
your best. And you know that
you define yourself of what does it mean
when I just need a lot of support, when
it and it can be very
personalized to you. Like for me, for
example, I know that certain
(20:12):
parts of my menstrual cycle, I just need
more support. I just can't do certain
things as well as I wouldn't be able to
in the beginning of the month versus the
middle of the month. So it's just it
could be very personalized to you because
again, there's nothing wrong with
figuring out exactly what you need, like
when you are at your
(20:33):
prime to be making videos or to be
socializing with others. You know, we
just need different things depending on
where we are, who we are, right?So
getting to know yourself. So I'd like for
you to reflect on what is like
for you. When do you need
support?What are there?Certain scenarios?
Are there certain weeks?Are there?A
(20:55):
certain months or days of the week or
whatever it is, like when do you need the
most support?What does your ideal
plan look like and what are other
versions of that plan?Plan
ABC that could be, you know, as simple
as opening a window versus going for a
walk. So I'd really like for you to
reflect on that because you really want
(21:17):
to. Again, prioritize our mental
health on a daily basis and have that
top of mind because it's not just
a one day world mental health
day, right?It needs to be prioritized in
order for us to not get to places where
it feels too overwhelming and it feels
too much to deal with.
(21:40):
So like for you to reflect on when you
need the support. And
how you would like to support yourself
and what are ways that you know we can
have iterations of that that don't look
perfect and but can still be useful as
well, cause I think that's reallyhelpful.
(22:02):
Hey, if you're listening to this podcast
and wondering how I can help you break
free of your cycles, especially those
that hold you back in business, I'm happy
to chat. You can sign up for a
consultation without any preparation
needed at
sukilifecoach.com/freeconsult
and we can talk about your cycles and how
(22:23):
to break free of them. Cheers to breaking
more much needed generational cycles.
Welcome to the Cycle Breaker podcast. I'm
your host, Suki Kaur, a certified
feminist life coach, and I'm here to help
you navigate being a woman of color
entrepreneur, breaking generational
cycles and letting go of imposter
syndrome. Here you will learn to create
self-awareness around the truth of who
you are and see your ability to
(00:30):
change how you experience yourself. And
further the results you create in your
life. O let's break these much needed
cycles together here in community.
So last week was World Mental Health Day
(00:51):
and I really love that there is a day
where all
together we look at mental health
and acknowledge the importance of it. And
I think in some ways it's great and in
other ways it almost is like, you know,
the emphasis is on it one day
of the year or I know there's Mental
(01:11):
Health Week. But what I want to
emphasize here is that as an
entrepreneur, especially
facing the unique challenges that you
face as a woman of color, first Gen.
especially, I think those
all do add up and impact us in
more impact us in more ways than we may
(01:33):
realize, especially when it comes to
showing up in business. And then doing
something that is more heart-led versus
outward successful looking, you know,
driven. And one of the things that I want
to talk about is that there are
unique challenges in the sense that
(01:54):
it's not really, you know, if you feel
like you don't have the very
skills or the tools or the community
or even just. The capacity to
figure out how to deal with and how to
support yourself when it comes to mental
health, I think that's just, you know,
so necessary to acknowledge it. But then
also just understand that it's nothing
(02:17):
has gone wrong and that it's
actually really understandable that you
may be in this case where there's
a lot of cultural expectations, there's a
lot of family expectations that we hold.
And sometimes that's just something
that's always been a constant. So it
doesn't seem like it's a big thing or a
big difference, but it does weigh on us.
(02:37):
And I think having all that type of
expectation and also dealing with our
internal voices and figuring out how to
navigate, you know, even when there is
success, navigate our imposter syndrome
thoughts and and just like kind of give
ourselves grace, I think that all adds
up. And I would like to acknowledge that,
you know, it's not just you or it's a
(02:58):
personal thing. Even though the way that
you may feel supported is very personal
and it's in its custom to you,
I think it's important to understand that
as a whole, as a woman of color,
especially as those of us that are
entrepreneurs and maybe have toes
in both work and business at the same
(03:19):
time. And of course our family life and
friends and our hobbies, all that
stuff, it adds up so. I wanted to
first start off with just understanding
that there are reasons why
this happens, right?It's not just that
you're you're bad at figuring out how to
support yourself. And then, you know,
(03:40):
there's unique challenges like I
mentioned, for example, really even, and
I don't know if you resonate with this,
but a lot of times, even talking about
struggling with mental health, there's a
lot of taboo in most cultures.
And at least in as a woman
of color, there's a lot of taboo where
either you are supposed to
(04:02):
get, you know,
support within your family or your
community or your friends. But talking at
an outside, talking to an outsider like a
professional therapist is really looked
down upon because then it means
that, you know, you're talking about
things that are supposed to be hush-hush
and may impact. Your family and may
(04:24):
impact, you know, how
you're perceived and and by
indirectly how your family or your
parents or whatever it is that indirectly
there's impact in a larger scheme, right.
And I think when we start looking at
that, then of course it's going to be
some hesitation to be like, oh, do you,
do I think this is even going to help me?
(04:45):
Do I think this is even worth it or not?
And I think I'd like to just, you know,
again, acknowledge that it's not your
fault, it's not personal, but there are
these unique challenges. And I think
understanding that there are
and not just being like, Oh my God, I
can't do anything because I'm gonna blame
it on this. It's just to understand of,
(05:05):
OK, these exist and then I could
still choose to support myself. But
understanding that having grace with
yourself first is the most important
thing, especially to. Avoid, for
example, leading yourself to being
burnt out as a business owner.
Like understanding that setting
(05:26):
boundaries is a lot of times, you know,
people think, oh, I'm going to set this
strict boundary for someone so so that
someone else can know how to behave.
But in my mind, I really set boundaries
out of love, like if I want, for example.
If I struggle in a relationship, I really
set boundaries so that I know what I'm
(05:47):
gonna do. If if this scenario
comes up and it's out of love, it's not
so much to control the other person. It's
more so for me to know, OK, like if
if I have X number of things in a day,
I'm gonna need to say no to this thing or
this timing doesn't work for me. Like
it's OK to. Not have to
(06:07):
be everywhere all at once and
figure out how the right balance for you.
And also sometimes I think what
happens is that you know you may get
questioned. It's very common to get
questioned when you start putting
boundaries down and start, you know,
looking out for yourself with your time
and your energy and your effort. You may
(06:28):
get questioned and I think. Understanding
that that may just come with the package
of like breaking the cycle of saying no
to certain things. You just need to
understand that you don't have to explain
yourself, right?It could just be that
this is how you're going to do things
from now on. And sometimes we feel the
need to explain ourselves and then if
it's not taken well, it's just like this
(06:49):
whole thing. So I think even with that,
I explained myself to who.
I think it would be most helpful to, but
it's really a choice that I give myself
more versus before, even a couple of
years ago, I wouldn't have given myself
the choice or even seen it as a choice.
So I think embracing that,
(07:10):
you know, having grace with yourself that
there are some like limiting
beliefs and and limitations when it comes
to being a woman of
color, entrepreneur, especially first
generation and then also understanding
that. You can have liberation from these
limiting beliefs, but it just may require
you to navigate it in your
(07:33):
scenario a little differently from like
just if say for example is a book that
was general and being like, oh, just say
no. And it's sometimes it's not as simple
and we do have to acknowledge that, hey,
about like five or six people are going
to come ask me like why did you say no to
this?Why didn't you show up?And sometimes
that is just a reality and and I think
it's unfair for us to try to.
(07:55):
Work and live in a way that
that doesn't acknowledge that. Like we of
course have to acknowledge the full
picture. So understanding that
there are tools that can help
with these things that are very unique
and tailored to you specifically.
And you know, the more that we
(08:16):
keep in how we're feeling and if we're
struggling though, sometimes it
creates. Shame and more
it creates that cycle of keep going and
trying to figure it out yourself and
struggle. So I'm not saying that you
know mental health, like you just figure
out one thing and then you're like good
to go. There's various degrees
(08:38):
of what you need and what you may need.
And you know, you may know already that,
like for example.
If you're struggling, like you may know,
like getting fresh air and taking a walk
helps you. I know it helps me for sure.
And sometimes afterwards in high time,
oh, that was really helpful. But
sometimes when I'm struggling, like I
really can't get myself to go outside for
(08:59):
a walk, whether it be for 40 minutes, 10
minutes, 20 minutes, even putting my
shoes on, it's too much at times. And I
think we just need to know that like for
ourselves that there could be.
Different plans like could be an ideal
plan to of course go take a walk, take go
outside during sunlight, 40 minutes,
whatever the route is that helps you
(09:21):
like just let go and feel a little bit
more like you know you're giving yourself
the space that you need. But it it can
also be varying degrees, right?It doesn't
have to be your ideal plan cause we're
trying to get away from. This
perfectionism, especially when it comes
to mental health, because there's so much
online to be like, oh, you know,
(09:44):
you should have this morning routine and
bedtime routine and it should look like
these perfect, I don't know, like these
smoothies that are in these perfect
glasses with these straws. Like, it
doesn't really have to look like that,
right?And in that example of, you know,
it's helpful to take a walk, but you may
not be up for it. It could just look like
getting yourself some fresh air by
opening a window, just cracking a window.
(10:06):
And it can be as simple as that or
putting your blinds up or, you know,
even opening the front door and having
your coffee, sit outside and have it. If
you don't have enough energy, there's it
could just be very tailored. And even
when it comes to business, like I know
sometimes we may think, especially when
it comes to being. Having perfectionist
thoughts like if we let ourselves just
(10:29):
get a little bit of a break and that's
just gonna be habit. Let's I'll give
myself as an example for today.
I had a call really late yesterday and it
was just a really, really busy day and I
had scheduled to
record my podcast and this
episode and somehow I got a phone call
(10:49):
during that time and. I just really
lost track of time and not until I was
going to sleep that I was like, Oh my
goodness, that was Wednesday. And
normally I pre-schedule these episodes
and by midnight on Thursday
it releases on its own. It's already
scheduled and and just shows up on
Spotify. And right now it's Thursday
(11:11):
morning and I'm recording this and I
remember thinking last night when I was
falling asleep of like. Oh, like if
I just do, if I just don't like, you
know, stay up till 12
recording and and posting and. Scheduling
then maybe like this is the first time
this has ever happened where I forgot
what day it is and I lost. It was just
(11:32):
like really tough time for me that
it might just become a habit. And then
that means that my podcast is not
important and that just means I'm just
letting go of business. So you can just
see how much my brain just
naturally not and it's not just personal
to me, just naturally that rabbit hole.
Of just holding on to every
(11:53):
little insecurity and just, you know,
just amplifying every little thing that
can go wrong. So you could just see how
that brain spirals. And then I was like,
you know what?What I really need is to go
to sleep on time so I can get up and I
have a class in the morning that's like
deep stretching and recovering. I think
it's called like yin. My instructor calls
it. It's more so like yin yoga. I don't
(12:16):
even know what that is, but it's more so
where you hold poses and
you really get the
support from different props
and I don't know if everyone runs the
class the same, but you. Are very
supported when you're trying to stay
still in certain positions that are deep
stretches. And I really love this class
(12:38):
because I think it's the only time in the
week, that one hour where I'm
so open to getting support.
Even in this class it was interesting
because the instructor said, you know, it
shouldn't feel like it's painful
and you should be able to hold the pose.
And if it's not, I'll give you more yoga
blocks or more of a of a bolster.
(13:00):
Or a blanket. And I remember the
first few times thinking, oh, I don't
feel any kind of
super stretch or like I'm working my body
too much. And it was like almost like I
had a hard time accepting that support.
And I think this class has really helped
me understand to accept
support in small ways and that
(13:23):
accept the fact that. I don't have
to. I I can
easily embrace easy. I don't
have to be to the point where I'm
struggling and I'm overstretched and you
know when it comes to business overworked
and over, you know, overwhelmed and
stressed and that that's a signal that
I'm working hard. It could be that I get
(13:45):
the support I need and
from different places and that's OK. I
remember even.
You know, that was just an example of my
podcast schedule not being this
perfect way that it's been for, what is
it, like 26 weeks. That one
week I'm like, Oh no, it's gonna go down.
(14:06):
But Even so, like in other
ways, when I'm trying to think of a word
I'm writing for my copy, I I
leverage AI,
right?So like, oh, does this word give
the same tone or just to get some help?
And I remember also even thinking like,
oh. You know, am I
cheating in some way if I ask for help
(14:28):
from somewhere?And it's just so
interesting to think that, like,
it's more acceptable for my
brain to think that I should be in this
overwhelmed state. As a business owner,
and that means I'm working hard rather
than just leveraging all my resources.
And I really learned to leverage my
resources on my job. So I think I've been
(14:50):
able to transfer that skill
set to my business. But when it comes to
being a business owner, I think having
some leeway to be able to
support yourself and figure out how you
need that support is so
important, even when it comes to. You
know how I said it's taboo to even open
(15:10):
up about mental health and any
issues that you may be dealing with. It
could be a professional or you know,
it doesn't always have to be the same
small friend group that you have that you
know you know may not be able to support
you. You can look for other
communities that are
that you know that are more equipped or
(15:32):
more in line with what you believe and.
That can support you in the way you ways
that you need. And there's no shame about
that to go out and look for these things,
whether it's a group or online
community or even
just listening to podcasts or audiobook,
whatever, or just walking in silence. It
could just be anything that you need to
(15:53):
support. But I did want to do this
episode because being a
cycle breaker and doing things that
are. And I guess it's twofold,
right?Like being a generational cycle
breaker, you're taking the values and the
things that you know are that you
believe in, that you have purged, and
(16:14):
you're like, you know, I wanna bring
these values from my roots forward.
And then also at the same time, just
because I'm outgrowing certain limiting
beliefs that I've carried doesn't mean
that I'm letting my roots go. And I think
when when we're breaking some limiting
cycles, there are
obstacles where you'll be questioned or
(16:37):
things will just be harder cause there's
more obstacles. Being a person of color
and being even first generation,
being like for example, having
immigrant parents, I think the survival
mode and struggle is very normalized,
right?And I put that as quotes as I'm
saying it. But I think it doesn't
(16:57):
need to. I think in our like if you're
not in that same position and you don't
have your, you don't need to be in
survival mode. I think it's good to
acknowledge that actually in your case,
you don't actually need to. It's not
actually helpful. It's like the
benefit versus like
outweighing the risks, right?Like in this
(17:19):
case, it may not actually be the most
beneficial. To be in a survival mode
all the time. So I think looking at it in
your own scenario is really
important. So just to
like reiterate, like this is not just
like a one time thing, right?It's more
so a figuring out as you
(17:41):
grow, as you're in this role as a
business owner. How are you changing?How
are your needs changing?Where are your
support systems?What do you need?And
what are like, you know, your ideal ways
that you would like to like like to take
care of yourself?And what are other ways
that you can lean on that you know you
(18:02):
can lean on when you're not able to go
with Plan A and your ideal?Cause you
wanna get away from that perfectionist
like, you know, meal planning and. It has
to be the same like containers and all
these things and just it can get there.
You can get carried away trying to do it
the same way and that also adds to
burnout, right?And whether it
(18:24):
be in business like
leveraging things that make your job
easier, that make your that
make you more available to your
audience and your clients rather
than you spending a ton of time like
writing. Like your copy or
editing things that you can hire someone,
(18:45):
you can use AI, whatever it may be. Like
accepting that that support can be
there for you regardless if it's paid
or not. So All in all,
I'd like for you to, you know, take a
step back and just know
that there are. It's not your
fault if you haven't been able to take
(19:06):
care of like your mental health and
support yourself and. You may
be, you know, more so depending on where
you are, you may be in a hustle mode and
trying to get this done and feel that
pressure at the end of toward the end of
the year. Know that that that makes
sense, right?In the context of
being a woman, being a woman of color,
(19:29):
being a first generation, being an
entrepreneur, being someone that may have
had a corporate position where you know
it required it at some point, some point
it was helpful and just knowing
that like. Makes sense. This
is where we are. This is what we're
trying to figure out what we need. And I
think what I'd like for you to do is,
(19:50):
you know, this week really reflect on
what are ideal ways of you to take care
of yourself when you may not be feeling
your best. And you know that
you define yourself of what does it mean
when I just need a lot of support, when
it and it can be very
personalized to you. Like for me, for
example, I know that certain
(20:12):
parts of my menstrual cycle, I just need
more support. I just can't do certain
things as well as I wouldn't be able to
in the beginning of the month versus the
middle of the month. So it's just it
could be very personalized to you because
again, there's nothing wrong with
figuring out exactly what you need, like
when you are at your
(20:33):
prime to be making videos or to be
socializing with others. You know, we
just need different things depending on
where we are, who we are, right?So
getting to know yourself. So I'd like for
you to reflect on what is like
for you. When do you need
support?What are there?Certain scenarios?
Are there certain weeks?Are there?A
(20:55):
certain months or days of the week or
whatever it is, like when do you need the
most support?What does your ideal
plan look like and what are other
versions of that plan?Plan
ABC that could be, you know, as simple
as opening a window versus going for a
walk. So I'd really like for you to
reflect on that because you really want
(21:17):
to. Again, prioritize our mental
health on a daily basis and have that
top of mind because it's not just
a one day world mental health
day, right?It needs to be prioritized in
order for us to not get to places where
it feels too overwhelming and it feels
too much to deal with.
(21:40):
So like for you to reflect on when you
need the support. And
how you would like to support yourself
and what are ways that you know we can
have iterations of that that don't look
perfect and but can still be useful as
well, cause I think that's reallyhelpful.
(22:02):
Hey, if you're listening to this podcast
and wondering how I can help you break
free of your cycles, especially those
that hold you back in business, I'm happy
to chat. You can sign up for a
consultation without any preparation
needed at
sukilifecoach.com/freeconsult
and we can talk about your cycles and how
(22:23):
to break free of them. Cheers to breaking
more much needed generational cycles.
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