October 31, 2024 • 18 mins
Welcome to a Halloween-themed journey through the haunted rooms of the entrepreneurial mind!
In this episode, Sukhi Kaur guides first-gen women of color through a “haunted house” of familiar fears and limiting beliefs: Perfectionism, Imposter Syndrome, Scarcity Mindset, Generational Expectations, and Self-Doubt. These quiet hauntings can hold us back from confidently stepping into our entrepreneurial potential. Join us as we explore each “room” and gain tools to reclaim your power and keep moving forward.
✨ Ready to break free from these cycles? Book a free consultation to discover what’s been holding you back and start building your heart-led business: sukhilifecoach.com/freeconsult
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Welcome
Hey, I'm Sukhi Kaur, your host and fellow
cycle breaker. I'm here to help first
generation women of color grow their
business that's been on their heart by
breaking free from limiting cultural
expectations and navigating self-doubt.
Together, we'll cultivate self-trust,
(00:30):
explore how to step into your full
potential, and create success on your
terms. Let's break those much
needed cycles and build an impactdriven
life you've been dreaming of right here
in community.
(00:51):
Hi, welcome back to the Cycle Breaker
podcast. I'm your host, Suki Kaur. And
today I want to invite you on a little
adventure that's Halloween themed.
And so here we go. Imagine
walking through a haunted house,
but not just any haunted house, the one
filled with fears, doubts, and
(01:14):
limiting beliefs that haunt us so many of
us. As you step into entrepreneurship,
these aren't ghosts from horror movies,
but more familiar, quieter
hauntings that sometimes
feel just as frightening.
So we're here to explore each
room, and I have themes for each of the
(01:34):
rooms that, especially as women of
color, first generation, that we
experience and we often go
into these rooms. Being
more scared and giving it, giving
each of these things more power than they
really need. And so here we we're
going to explore each room in
(01:56):
quotation in this haunted house of the
mind, from
perfectionism to imposter
syndrome to generational
expectations and
scarcity thinking and self-doubt
and the goal. Is to help you
see that you're not alone in facing these
(02:16):
fears and together we
could turn these haunted
rooms into spaces where we feel
empowered and ready to move forward.
So honestly, like when it comes to
haunted stuff and scary stuff, I stay
away from scary movies and everything.
But it just, I just know that
through my work and through my clients
(02:38):
work that. Facing these
hauntings, if you will,
face forward
is just so important and the benefit is
so much more than the
feeling of the uncertainty and
being scared. So
here we go. OK, let's go to the first
(03:00):
room, which I call perfectionism.
And here we start. Imagine walking
into. A room where
it's a room that's like
has mirrors all around and
in each mirror it's a
reflection of a perfect version of
you that like never messes
(03:23):
up, never doubts themselves and always
has it together. And this is a part of
you that like feels this pressure to be
flawless and like every single
thing that you do, especially in your
work and business. And as a first
generation woman of color, perfectionism
can feel like a shield
(03:44):
and a way to feel like it's
something that's
protective against like
criticism or judgment by like
doing it right and never making
mistakes. Maybe you feel like you have to
be perfect, perfect to be taken
seriously or to like,
(04:04):
earn respect. I know I've definitely been
there. And it keeps what
it keep. What it does is it actually
keeps us from taking the
real imperfect actions that we need to to
move forward in what we want to do. So
how do we walk through the room without
letting perfectionism trap us?
(04:26):
First step, just start by giving
yourself permission to just be
good enough like. My one of my
coaches is always like, oh you know you
don't have to do A+ work. B minus
work is is sufficient.
So give yourself permission to be good
enough rather than being perfect. You
don't know everything or and like
(04:49):
you're not and you're you don't need to
be flawless to take that first step. So
as someone once said, done is
better than perfect.
Remind yourself that growth comes from
action and not from
getting every single
detail exactly right, because that just
(05:11):
keeps you in that room.
With those expectations and it's
overwhelming and it's just
too, it's just not, it's just not a good
feeling. It's not a good experience and
it really is a trap more than a shield
that we actually think it's a shield and
protective, but it's really a trap.
(05:32):
So and then now let's move forward to
like say if you're walking down like a
hall and we
enter the hall of imposter syndrome.
And picture like a dimly lit
space with walls covered with faint
like writing on the walls that say
(05:52):
who am I to do this?I'm not good
enough. And this is the room where like
self-doubt likes to whisper in your
ear. Kind of like how I say
your.
Like your primitive brain, like you just
want to keep safe and have all these
messages like your your the volumes need
to be adjusted, right?So these are just
(06:14):
like the self-doubt whispering in your
ear and imposter syndrome really hits
especially hard. Honestly, for first
generation women of color, it's that
inner voice that questions whether you're
really belong in the entrepreneurial
space or if you're just faking it. You
might wonder people you even like.
(06:34):
People that you talk to or you share even
get to claim like
like you as a person with who you are
even get to claim that title business
owner. And it's just
like all these little like whispers that
that like are in your ear. But honestly,
the powerful, powerful truth
(06:56):
here is that you don't need
anyone's permission to step into your
calling. Building a business, that
doesn't mean you'll like
never have doubt. Like you never feel,
never feel the self-doubt. But it
does mean that you can choose to go
ahead and act despite of it. And
(07:18):
one thing you can try is a next time
imposter syndrome creeps in,
jot down a list of things that
list of things you've. Accomplish or like
qualities you're proud of and ground
yourself in these small but
like powerful reminders that are much
(07:39):
needed that like just so that you
remember that you're capable and you like
you have done so much.
So just to like.
Ground yourself in that as you're walking
through the hall of imposter syndrome. In
my head, when I came up with the idea of
this episode, I thought it would be like
a lot spookier and like funnier. But
(08:01):
like, this is where we're gonna go with
with the tone. So the next room
is the next room is
that I have planned is the room of
generational expectations. So like
imagine and you know, I talk a lot about
being a generational cycle breaker and
just expectations of.
Our society,
(08:21):
culture, all that expectation, it just
adds up. So imagine you're walking into
the room and you hear like echoes of
phrases like be practical, play it
safe, think about stability. These
aren't. And like, these aren't just
like reminders of like
grounding. These are aren't
(08:42):
like for you. These aren't just like
words. They're reflections of your dreams
and sacrifices of your families.
Often that have have faced like
real struggles to give the
opportunities that we have today. And for
many first-generation women like myself,
honoring our family means everything.
(09:03):
But also this can create a unique
kind of haunting, if you will.
When when we feel pulled between
like expectations and our dreams, it's
just. It's just a lot. And
it's as though our business goals might
come across as like selfish or too risky.
(09:24):
So as you walk through this room
of generational expectations,
I would say the key. The key
to walking through the room is to
recognize that honoring your
family doesn't mean giving up
your dreams. It's OK to create your
own path, a path that respects your
(09:46):
roots, but also
lets you reach for what
like you feel is fulfilling to
you. And embracing both parts is
like not only possible, but it's really
powerful because once you let go of
that all or nothing and
take that pressure off that it has to
(10:08):
just because these things are sad, it has
to be the actions that you
take have to line up with has to have to
look a certain way. It's it's like it's
so it's such a game changer.
And then let's say we're walk. So that
was the rooms that we've been in so far
as a recap so far is perfectionism,
(10:31):
imposters, the whole of imposter
syndrome, general
generational expectations. And now we're
moving to the
scarcity mindset. So the next stop,
that's like the haunted next like
dungeon almost if you will, of scarcity
mindset. And this room, imagine it
(10:52):
feels like a tight, dark
and as if like every
door whispers that you're not good
enough. You're not
like, not that you're not good enough,
but you're just not enough. Not enough
time, not enough money, not
enough success to go around. Just like
(11:14):
full on scarcity mindset that.
And you know, it's not really just that
it's a you thing or it's an issue, but
we these beliefs have
been like inherited, especially from
families that had to prioritize survival
and practicality. And
that just puts into perspective of where
(11:35):
this comes from, right?It's not a you
thing of why are you this way, but it's
actually in the fuller picture and the
context and makes sense. And while
like the resourcefulness is a strength
that we may have seen modeled, it can
also lead us to feel
like limited in what we're what's like
(11:56):
possible for us to do. And
one way to step out of the scarcity
mindset is to practice focusing on.
Abundance in like small,
like daily ways. Set a money
goal or think about the way you can
invest in yourself or your business,
however small, right?Just remind yourself
(12:18):
that your success doesn't need,
doesn't take away from like
someone else's. In fact, like your growth
only expands what's possible for others
too, because sometimes it's like. You
know, with the scarcity mindset, it's
like can be a devil at sort. Like there's
not enough that you're not able to do.
(12:38):
There's not enough resources, but then,
oh, like it's this greedy part, right. So
I think like just getting yourself out of
that, that's just that's so
important. And the last, so
the room that we just got out, it was a
scarcity mindset and hopefully these
like. Each and every exercise
for each of these rooms, kind of like,
(13:00):
you know, you can listen to the episode
again and it kind of sits and you're able
to do these exercises like
specifically for you. And
so we just got rid of the room of
scarcity mindset. And the next one in
this haunted house is the
room of self-doubt and comparison.
(13:20):
This space is filled with
portraits of other successful
entrepreneurs making you feel like
you're falling short. Self-doubt and
like comparison are
like universal
feelings, but especially
like when you're a first generation woman
(13:42):
of color, it's especially tough because
you might not see themselves like you
might not like. See yourself
reflected in these portraits of success,
right?Especially in the entrepreneurial
space. So you might feel like you're
falling behind and you're not skilled as
others, but you remember that like
(14:02):
your your journey is unique
and the fact that you know, you may
not even think of someone like
you as a CEO when you think of successful
entrepreneurs. It makes sense, right?
There's not a lot of modeling in in
cases of first generation of that's a
primary choice because it comes with some
(14:23):
risk that, you know, we're just told to
stay safe and all those things. So
when it comes to self-doubt, comparison
can sometimes just hold us back in
just so many more ways than we
realize. So it's important to remember
that your journey is unique. Comparing
yourself to others is like apples and
oranges. It's really not an
(14:46):
apple to apple comparison and like
your journey is honestly just unique.
So trying to like you know
as a way out of this room I would say is
like try to set a weekly practice for
some like self-reflection where you can
celebrate your wins. Like
no matter how small. And this keeps you
(15:08):
focused on your path instead of
constantly feeling like less than or
comparing to someone else's like
highlight reel. But you know,
again, it's like orange and apples to
comparison rather than just a one-to-one,
like a fair comparison. So
here we are. That was in the 5th room we
(15:30):
exited, right?And saao
imagine some music where it's like gentle
and uplifting and the music fades and
we're coming out of the the haunted
house. So here we are at the
end of our haunted house tour and I
hope that you feel lighter,
more aware and
(15:51):
ready to face any of those ghosts. I say
in quotations that like show up on your
business journey cause I remember each
room. Represent something many of
us experience. But the and the good news
is that like by bringing these
fears to light, they lose like
some of their power. Like,
(16:13):
like I said, sometimes we're so afraid of
going into these rooms that we don't even
like dare and have the audacity to like
look further. So they really lose some
of the power they have when you start
looking into them more. And as first
generation women of color, you're
navigating a path that's entirely unique
and that combined that combined
(16:35):
the like wisdom and
resilience of your like your
ancestors, your roots with like the
boldness and audacity to
start a new path, right?You're not just
breaking cycles, you're creating a
legacy. You're you're evaluating
what?Sits well with you and of
(16:57):
course like respecting your roots, but
you don't need. You can respect your
roots and still outgrow some of the
things that are limiting, some of the
cycles that are limiting. And you're
honestly creating a legacy, right?You're
not just breaking cycles, but you're
actually creating something super
powerful. So I would say take
(17:17):
a deep breath. Remind yourself that
you're exactly where you need to be and
let's keep going. And if you'd like to
like support in building
your heart-led business, that's like the
business that's been on your heart for so
long that feels right for you.
(17:38):
Feel free to reach out. I'd love to
connect and
you know, share more
tips and helpful.
The guidance for you, for your
unique path and you know, keep reminding
yourself of that and and kind of go
back and listen that you
(18:00):
know, just to remind yourself that you
have everything you need within
you to build the business and life that
you truly find will
fulfill you.
Hey, if today's episode resonated with
you and you're ready to break free from
the cycles holding you back in your
business, it's time to book a
consultation with me. By the end of the
(18:22):
call, you'll know what's been holding you
back and you'll have a clear plan for
growing the business that's been on your
heart. So go ahead and head to the link
in the show notes to book your free call.
Welcome
Hey, I'm Sukhi Kaur, your host and fellow
cycle breaker. I'm here to help first
generation women of color grow their
business that's been on their heart by
breaking free from limiting cultural
expectations and navigating self-doubt.
Together, we'll cultivate self-trust,
(00:30):
explore how to step into your full
potential, and create success on your
terms. Let's break those much
needed cycles and build an impactdriven
life you've been dreaming of right here
in community.
(00:51):
Hi, welcome back to the Cycle Breaker
podcast. I'm your host, Suki Kaur. And
today I want to invite you on a little
adventure that's Halloween themed.
And so here we go. Imagine
walking through a haunted house,
but not just any haunted house, the one
filled with fears, doubts, and
(01:14):
limiting beliefs that haunt us so many of
us. As you step into entrepreneurship,
these aren't ghosts from horror movies,
but more familiar, quieter
hauntings that sometimes
feel just as frightening.
So we're here to explore each
room, and I have themes for each of the
(01:34):
rooms that, especially as women of
color, first generation, that we
experience and we often go
into these rooms. Being
more scared and giving it, giving
each of these things more power than they
really need. And so here we we're
going to explore each room in
(01:56):
quotation in this haunted house of the
mind, from
perfectionism to imposter
syndrome to generational
expectations and
scarcity thinking and self-doubt
and the goal. Is to help you
see that you're not alone in facing these
(02:16):
fears and together we
could turn these haunted
rooms into spaces where we feel
empowered and ready to move forward.
So honestly, like when it comes to
haunted stuff and scary stuff, I stay
away from scary movies and everything.
But it just, I just know that
through my work and through my clients
(02:38):
work that. Facing these
hauntings, if you will,
face forward
is just so important and the benefit is
so much more than the
feeling of the uncertainty and
being scared. So
here we go. OK, let's go to the first
(03:00):
room, which I call perfectionism.
And here we start. Imagine walking
into. A room where
it's a room that's like
has mirrors all around and
in each mirror it's a
reflection of a perfect version of
you that like never messes
(03:23):
up, never doubts themselves and always
has it together. And this is a part of
you that like feels this pressure to be
flawless and like every single
thing that you do, especially in your
work and business. And as a first
generation woman of color, perfectionism
can feel like a shield
(03:44):
and a way to feel like it's
something that's
protective against like
criticism or judgment by like
doing it right and never making
mistakes. Maybe you feel like you have to
be perfect, perfect to be taken
seriously or to like,
(04:04):
earn respect. I know I've definitely been
there. And it keeps what
it keep. What it does is it actually
keeps us from taking the
real imperfect actions that we need to to
move forward in what we want to do. So
how do we walk through the room without
letting perfectionism trap us?
(04:26):
First step, just start by giving
yourself permission to just be
good enough like. My one of my
coaches is always like, oh you know you
don't have to do A+ work. B minus
work is is sufficient.
So give yourself permission to be good
enough rather than being perfect. You
don't know everything or and like
(04:49):
you're not and you're you don't need to
be flawless to take that first step. So
as someone once said, done is
better than perfect.
Remind yourself that growth comes from
action and not from
getting every single
detail exactly right, because that just
(05:11):
keeps you in that room.
With those expectations and it's
overwhelming and it's just
too, it's just not, it's just not a good
feeling. It's not a good experience and
it really is a trap more than a shield
that we actually think it's a shield and
protective, but it's really a trap.
(05:32):
So and then now let's move forward to
like say if you're walking down like a
hall and we
enter the hall of imposter syndrome.
And picture like a dimly lit
space with walls covered with faint
like writing on the walls that say
(05:52):
who am I to do this?I'm not good
enough. And this is the room where like
self-doubt likes to whisper in your
ear. Kind of like how I say
your.
Like your primitive brain, like you just
want to keep safe and have all these
messages like your your the volumes need
to be adjusted, right?So these are just
(06:14):
like the self-doubt whispering in your
ear and imposter syndrome really hits
especially hard. Honestly, for first
generation women of color, it's that
inner voice that questions whether you're
really belong in the entrepreneurial
space or if you're just faking it. You
might wonder people you even like.
(06:34):
People that you talk to or you share even
get to claim like
like you as a person with who you are
even get to claim that title business
owner. And it's just
like all these little like whispers that
that like are in your ear. But honestly,
the powerful, powerful truth
(06:56):
here is that you don't need
anyone's permission to step into your
calling. Building a business, that
doesn't mean you'll like
never have doubt. Like you never feel,
never feel the self-doubt. But it
does mean that you can choose to go
ahead and act despite of it. And
(07:18):
one thing you can try is a next time
imposter syndrome creeps in,
jot down a list of things that
list of things you've. Accomplish or like
qualities you're proud of and ground
yourself in these small but
like powerful reminders that are much
(07:39):
needed that like just so that you
remember that you're capable and you like
you have done so much.
So just to like.
Ground yourself in that as you're walking
through the hall of imposter syndrome. In
my head, when I came up with the idea of
this episode, I thought it would be like
a lot spookier and like funnier. But
(08:01):
like, this is where we're gonna go with
with the tone. So the next room
is the next room is
that I have planned is the room of
generational expectations. So like
imagine and you know, I talk a lot about
being a generational cycle breaker and
just expectations of.
Our society,
(08:21):
culture, all that expectation, it just
adds up. So imagine you're walking into
the room and you hear like echoes of
phrases like be practical, play it
safe, think about stability. These
aren't. And like, these aren't just
like reminders of like
grounding. These are aren't
(08:42):
like for you. These aren't just like
words. They're reflections of your dreams
and sacrifices of your families.
Often that have have faced like
real struggles to give the
opportunities that we have today. And for
many first-generation women like myself,
honoring our family means everything.
(09:03):
But also this can create a unique
kind of haunting, if you will.
When when we feel pulled between
like expectations and our dreams, it's
just. It's just a lot. And
it's as though our business goals might
come across as like selfish or too risky.
(09:24):
So as you walk through this room
of generational expectations,
I would say the key. The key
to walking through the room is to
recognize that honoring your
family doesn't mean giving up
your dreams. It's OK to create your
own path, a path that respects your
(09:46):
roots, but also
lets you reach for what
like you feel is fulfilling to
you. And embracing both parts is
like not only possible, but it's really
powerful because once you let go of
that all or nothing and
take that pressure off that it has to
(10:08):
just because these things are sad, it has
to be the actions that you
take have to line up with has to have to
look a certain way. It's it's like it's
so it's such a game changer.
And then let's say we're walk. So that
was the rooms that we've been in so far
as a recap so far is perfectionism,
(10:31):
imposters, the whole of imposter
syndrome, general
generational expectations. And now we're
moving to the
scarcity mindset. So the next stop,
that's like the haunted next like
dungeon almost if you will, of scarcity
mindset. And this room, imagine it
(10:52):
feels like a tight, dark
and as if like every
door whispers that you're not good
enough. You're not
like, not that you're not good enough,
but you're just not enough. Not enough
time, not enough money, not
enough success to go around. Just like
(11:14):
full on scarcity mindset that.
And you know, it's not really just that
it's a you thing or it's an issue, but
we these beliefs have
been like inherited, especially from
families that had to prioritize survival
and practicality. And
that just puts into perspective of where
(11:35):
this comes from, right?It's not a you
thing of why are you this way, but it's
actually in the fuller picture and the
context and makes sense. And while
like the resourcefulness is a strength
that we may have seen modeled, it can
also lead us to feel
like limited in what we're what's like
(11:56):
possible for us to do. And
one way to step out of the scarcity
mindset is to practice focusing on.
Abundance in like small,
like daily ways. Set a money
goal or think about the way you can
invest in yourself or your business,
however small, right?Just remind yourself
(12:18):
that your success doesn't need,
doesn't take away from like
someone else's. In fact, like your growth
only expands what's possible for others
too, because sometimes it's like. You
know, with the scarcity mindset, it's
like can be a devil at sort. Like there's
not enough that you're not able to do.
(12:38):
There's not enough resources, but then,
oh, like it's this greedy part, right. So
I think like just getting yourself out of
that, that's just that's so
important. And the last, so
the room that we just got out, it was a
scarcity mindset and hopefully these
like. Each and every exercise
for each of these rooms, kind of like,
(13:00):
you know, you can listen to the episode
again and it kind of sits and you're able
to do these exercises like
specifically for you. And
so we just got rid of the room of
scarcity mindset. And the next one in
this haunted house is the
room of self-doubt and comparison.
(13:20):
This space is filled with
portraits of other successful
entrepreneurs making you feel like
you're falling short. Self-doubt and
like comparison are
like universal
feelings, but especially
like when you're a first generation woman
(13:42):
of color, it's especially tough because
you might not see themselves like you
might not like. See yourself
reflected in these portraits of success,
right?Especially in the entrepreneurial
space. So you might feel like you're
falling behind and you're not skilled as
others, but you remember that like
(14:02):
your your journey is unique
and the fact that you know, you may
not even think of someone like
you as a CEO when you think of successful
entrepreneurs. It makes sense, right?
There's not a lot of modeling in in
cases of first generation of that's a
primary choice because it comes with some
(14:23):
risk that, you know, we're just told to
stay safe and all those things. So
when it comes to self-doubt, comparison
can sometimes just hold us back in
just so many more ways than we
realize. So it's important to remember
that your journey is unique. Comparing
yourself to others is like apples and
oranges. It's really not an
(14:46):
apple to apple comparison and like
your journey is honestly just unique.
So trying to like you know
as a way out of this room I would say is
like try to set a weekly practice for
some like self-reflection where you can
celebrate your wins. Like
no matter how small. And this keeps you
(15:08):
focused on your path instead of
constantly feeling like less than or
comparing to someone else's like
highlight reel. But you know,
again, it's like orange and apples to
comparison rather than just a one-to-one,
like a fair comparison. So
here we are. That was in the 5th room we
(15:30):
exited, right?And saao
imagine some music where it's like gentle
and uplifting and the music fades and
we're coming out of the the haunted
house. So here we are at the
end of our haunted house tour and I
hope that you feel lighter,
more aware and
(15:51):
ready to face any of those ghosts. I say
in quotations that like show up on your
business journey cause I remember each
room. Represent something many of
us experience. But the and the good news
is that like by bringing these
fears to light, they lose like
some of their power. Like,
(16:13):
like I said, sometimes we're so afraid of
going into these rooms that we don't even
like dare and have the audacity to like
look further. So they really lose some
of the power they have when you start
looking into them more. And as first
generation women of color, you're
navigating a path that's entirely unique
and that combined that combined
(16:35):
the like wisdom and
resilience of your like your
ancestors, your roots with like the
boldness and audacity to
start a new path, right?You're not just
breaking cycles, you're creating a
legacy. You're you're evaluating
what?Sits well with you and of
(16:57):
course like respecting your roots, but
you don't need. You can respect your
roots and still outgrow some of the
things that are limiting, some of the
cycles that are limiting. And you're
honestly creating a legacy, right?You're
not just breaking cycles, but you're
actually creating something super
powerful. So I would say take
(17:17):
a deep breath. Remind yourself that
you're exactly where you need to be and
let's keep going. And if you'd like to
like support in building
your heart-led business, that's like the
business that's been on your heart for so
long that feels right for you.
(17:38):
Feel free to reach out. I'd love to
connect and
you know, share more
tips and helpful.
The guidance for you, for your
unique path and you know, keep reminding
yourself of that and and kind of go
back and listen that you
(18:00):
know, just to remind yourself that you
have everything you need within
you to build the business and life that
you truly find will
fulfill you.
Hey, if today's episode resonated with
you and you're ready to break free from
the cycles holding you back in your
business, it's time to book a
consultation with me. By the end of the
(18:22):
call, you'll know what's been holding you
back and you'll have a clear plan for
growing the business that's been on your
heart. So go ahead and head to the link
in the show notes to book your free call.
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