December 12, 2024 • 23 mins
In this episode of The Cycle Breaker Podcast, I explore how the deeply ingrained “stay humble” mindset affects first-generation women of color entrepreneurs and their ability to celebrate success and take up space in their business journeys.
We’ll dive into:
- The cultural and generational roots of staying humble and how they show up in business.
- How avoiding celebrating your wins and downplaying achievements holds you back.
- Practical steps to create self-awareness, celebrate your successes, and redefine humility for growth.
This conversation will help you reframe humility into a mindset that empowers you, aligns with your values, and drives your business forward.
🎧 Tune in now and start breaking the cycles that hold you back!
Ready to take the next step? Book a free consultation with me to grow the business on your heart: Book a Call
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:09):
Welcome
Hey, I'm Suki Kaur, your host and fellow
cycle breaker. I'm here to help first
generation women of color grow their
business that's been on their heart by
breaking free from limiting cultural
expectations and navigating self-doubt.
Together, we'll cultivate self-trust,
(00:30):
explore how to step into your full
potential, and create success on your
terms. Let's break those much
needed cycles and build an impactdriven
life you've been dreaming of right here
in community.
So last week I spoke about jealousy and
how to use that to your advantage,
because we're taught from a
(00:52):
young age to look to people that are
doing better than us. But then that also
leaves us open to having to deal with
emotions that come up naturally instead
of suppressing them. So that was last
week. And today I want to talk about the
other side of jealousy, the part where
staying humble is so ingrained in
us and it's. If and that shows
(01:14):
up in business quite a lot and it shows
up everywhere in our life, but especially
in business. And today I want to talk
about that because I think
that it's necessary to break the
cycle of staying small in your business
and understanding, you know,
just to give some context,
understanding that there are reasons that
(01:35):
there are good intentions behind, you
knowHearing growing up to like,
especially as a first generation woman of
color of like, oh, don't forget to stay
humble. It came with good intentions,
right?It was a time
where if we really think about
it, there's cultural and generational
(01:56):
roots behind this mindset. Of course,
avoiding one of the things I think the
staying humble part, at least in
the Indian community, if sometimes
I see. People
hesitating to share what's going well for
them, especially when it comes around
(02:16):
money or business, because then it's
like, oh, we don't want to put evil eye
on it. We don't want to have other people
know about it because there's almost this
thing where saying humble is like the
unknown secret and it's like this
unknown, like weapon where you're like,
OK, this is gonna. This tactic that's
going to work in your benefit. So we
(02:37):
definitely don't want to share about
money, about business. And so it's
almost like we don't want to open
ourselves up to evil eye or
jealousy or and just like it's a way of
just avoiding. I think modern day it's
more of avoiding like criticism because I
think if somebody feels.
Like threatened in any way or
(02:58):
feels like they feel jealous of what's
going on with you. You may feel that
you know you're opening yourself up to
criticism. You're opening yourself up to
being less harm. Cause I think we like to
look at ourselves as harmless, right?And
we stay humble and it's really part of
not staying. If we think about it, the
context of like not trying to stand out
(03:20):
where from growing up as a first Gen.
and person of color you're.
You know, your background is more around
collectivism. It's not really thinking of
the individual of yourself and you've
been part of a community. So it makes
sense to, you know, sometime in that
for context, it makes sense that you
(03:42):
wouldn't be like, oh, hey, I'm doing
this. It would really just be like, OK,
if I'm doing so well here, then let me
see how I can go back to.
Helping others, making sure my community
it's it's not enough that I'm doing well.
It has to be from that collectivist
lens, right?And not so individualist that
we at least growing up in the
(04:05):
US on it, it's very different to navigate
the individualist lens
in the West versus especially
the countries in the east side where it
is all about community and it isn't
about. So much about individualism,
right?And and that type of
(04:26):
success in that way because it's almost
like, oh, it shouldn't be that way.
There's a lot of like, there's a lot of
like rooted cultural messages that we get
with it that we may not even be aware of.
And then also just in general from a
parental figure, like modesty was.
Encourage, right?Like being respectful
(04:47):
and avoiding conflict and avoiding any
kind of enemy because you don't want that
those eyes on you. So I think
hopefully that resonates with you because
I think for me that definitely does where
even still like there are some groups
where I still hesitate to say, Oh yeah.
You know, even though I'm single, I'm
(05:07):
doing really well. And like, I don't
really worry about like my financial
stability as much, right?As much as maybe
somebody would expect me to or I'm not in
that rut, but it's hard to admit it
because then there you are opening. I I
feel like I am opening myself up to
being open to
(05:28):
criticism, being a threat to someone and
getting kind of just don't want to deal
with it. So it's like avoid avoiding. The
being seen like literally being seen and
that goes into you know the staying
humble message that's
so ingrained in us. I think first it's
just a self-awareness that we need to
create around that of like where like
(05:49):
how much does this impact you
specifically and you know what?
Understanding what those messages were
for you and then also just deciding like,
how do you want to move forward?Maybe
it's been like this for almost four
years, but like, how do you want to move
forward?So I think that's important. And
I think it's really important for
(06:09):
first Gen. women of color who are
entrepreneurs because it shows up in
so many ways that we may not even realize
that it's related to this. And one of the
perfect examples is like not celebrating
your wins and keeping it private. I
recently coached my client who we
were talking about time management and
(06:29):
then she just and didn't even tell me
that she, you know, signed a client. And
she's like, you know, I wasn't able to
keep up with my schedule because that's
client that I signed. Then I had to kind
of change this and we're working on
different things, right. But then it was
just like a matter-of-fact thing that was
part of the story and not like, hey, I
actually signed a client like my.
(06:50):
You know, my social media strategy is
doing really well or like anything like
that. It was almost like, let's just
brush over it really quickly.
And, you know, we talked about what we
need to talk about. And then I came back
and I was like, hey, did you realize that
you just said you signed a client?And
then we laughed about it. But it's more
so of like, not even realizing that
that's something that's like worth
(07:12):
celebrating or worth even acknowledging
or even telling your business coach that
who you're working with too. You know,
help with your business to tell
acknowledge it there. So it's just
interesting in how you may not even
realize it and you kind of, you know,
sometimes you think, oh, it's just one
client or it's just two people or it's
just 10 people. But it's a lot of like
(07:32):
avoiding the
conversations about the growth plan and
then like down. It's a lot of more so
downplaying the success. So then it just
seems safer in a lot of ways
and then you knowYou want to stay
humble. You don't want to be too
competitive or too ambitious. And
so then that keeps you from like pitching
(07:54):
some of your ideas, right?Like maybe you
don't want to be too much. Sometimes we
think we're in this cycle of
not being enough, and then we get
worried and scared and fear. If we're
seen, then we're being too much. And then
so then basically we're just setting
ourselves up to a no-win situation.
(08:15):
And honestly like why that
impacts the most in business is that and
the why that I think I continue to
work on this is because it keeps me
from even being
it. It removes me from a lot of
opportunities. It's not Even so much will
I win something or will I do well. It
just like takes me out of the picture.
(08:36):
Like it removes me like
automatically from a lot of opportunities
just because of self-doubt. And I think
the staying humble and not being trying
too many things and maybe somebody you
tell will think, oh wow, you're doing so
much. How do you balance out?Like you may
have to answer those. So there's ways to
like navigate around that, right?But is
(08:57):
it worth it to hold yourself and hold
your business back that much for this?
At times it seems like it's too much to
deal with, but I think we'll, I'll
continue talking about this and what ways
to help with it, but. I don't know if I
would say that staying
humble for me is a good enough reason
(09:17):
to hold back, but and
I'll admit that, yeah, that definitely
has. I've definitely gone into
that where my self-doubt
has been like
so loud that being staying
humble and being this per person I should
be and the shoulds, right, the rules that
(09:39):
I was talking about. That they have
overwritten some of the things and I'm
like, oh, this would be a really cool
idea. Or like if I'm going to a
networking event, I'm like, oh, I should
suggest like this person collaborating
with me in this way. I think
staying humble and not too aggressive and
not too like open to criticism or
whatever it is, it
(10:02):
it has stopped me. So I'm not saying that
I admit that it's not a good reason, but
has it?Overtaken. Yeah, definitely. But
do I want to?No. And I'm more aware of
it. And I'll mention like, you know,
how we like can deal
with it. And one of the things,
especially as people that resonate with
imposter syndrome, I think this just
(10:24):
gives it another reason to it
perpetuates it, right?Like it gives it
another reason to stay in that
imposter syndrome cycle like we are.
Worried we're not good enough. So we stay
small. Then we worried about
staying humble and not being too
overconfident. So you just not and not
even acknowledging the wins that you
(10:46):
clearly have in your face. Like literally
in front of you, you have certain wins
and whether it's financial or not, that's
not the point, right?It doesn't mean that
I'm talking to someone that has made
their financial goals. Maybe you haven't,
but there's a lot of other wins that you
can have that are intangible goals.
right, that you know you see that are
(11:07):
making a difference. But like do we want
to acknowledge that?Probably not, because
it's always seems safer
to stay within the cycle, this loop that
may not help us be where we are, but it's
comfortable, it's it's known, and there's
not that much uncertainty because you're
like, well, the worst that can happen is
I just feel this way and like, no one can
(11:28):
tell, and I'm kind of doing okay. So it's
like,Reinforcing
that in a. Way that your
idea of success is something to feel
guilty about or even ashamed about.
And in the episode with Sid, she talks
about about like the guilt
of first Gen. woman of color that you
(11:51):
know having more resources than
generations before and having
opportunities can have someone
feel guilty and that you know
causes. Women
definitely to self-sabotage in different
ways. And I think the staying humble
part, if we're not aware of it, that's
(12:12):
one way that it can really show up in
business and and it holds us back
so much. So there's definitely re
need to reframe
the humility, right?So it's for good
reason, but in just kind of
reframing it to be into like a more.
Useful, like healthier
(12:33):
mindset I would say, and it can be
small, right?The 1st way I would say is
just celebrate your wins. Like create a
journal or a piece of paper. Take some
time out to reflect on your wins for the
week. And they can be small, they can be
big. If you're just collecting data
and you just needed to know like OK, what
(12:54):
are things that went well like just.
Give that to yourself and write it down.
If you don't have to share it with
anyone, you don't even have to read it
again, but just acknowledge it. Just get
it onto paper and then
own your space in the sense that to like,
practice talking about your success with
like, not everyone, right?Like that's
(13:15):
like sometimes it's like your worst
nightmare to just tell every single
person, oh, I make this much and I'm
doing well. But no, start with.
owning your space within a group of
people where you can talk about your
success, that's with a group of people
that you trust. So it's not really
where you're just going out there and
(13:36):
saying, and sometimes it depends, like if
it's not a trusted group and it's just a
group, you'd rather tell complete
strangers than someone that you know and
you don't trust. So I think being careful
of where you do it and the
That's really important because the
reactions you get will, you know,
register in your brain of like, oh, see,
(13:57):
this isn't, This is why we shouldn't do
this. But if it's a trusted group, you
kind of go in with the guards down a
little bit, even if this is like a
totally new, like
totally new territory for you.
And then like acknowledge the bigger
picture, like understand that sharing
your wins. may actually inspire
(14:18):
others to believe in what's possible for
them too. Like it's, I know that, you
know, sometimes, especially as someone
that resonates with being, having
imposterous and so much about us and
in our minds and we're kind of like
ruminating and going in these circles,
but we may actually be inspiring other
people by sharing it. And also, I
(14:39):
think like one of the really big reasons
in business thatHelps
you helps me stay rooted is
is just remembering the reason why I'm
doing it. Like remember that you
know, sharing your ideas and
achievements. It's adding value
and not really just like just trying to
(15:01):
show off. You're
successful. That means you may be helping
someone the way that you want to in your
way. And it doesn't mean it has to be
thousands of people, right?Or it can be,
but it doesn't have to be a number or it
doesn't have to be. A scale at
which you are reporting to that you
(15:21):
haven't created yourself. So that's on
you, right?Like you can't just keep going
with like a moving target, right?Like it
has to be something that you think is
important. And I think staying rooted in
your why is so important
because that will help you
bring your business ideas forward because
you know you're about like your mission
(15:44):
and why you're doing it is important to
you because otherwise. You know, we're
successful women of color first Gen. Like
we don't have to do business. Like this
is not something that's, you know, on
that norm pathway that we have to do. And
likely you've already, you know, you have
a traditional career, you're doing well
financially. It is what it is and you
don't have to do this. But I think
(16:05):
remembering your why is really important
and I'm just remembering to remember it
and if it's helpful, like write it down.
But definitely start with writing
down. Your success
for the week and you know some practical
steps that you can take to
just step out of the shadows and
(16:26):
like give yourself some
space is is first is just
creating the self-awareness. Like notice
when you're feeling fearful of being
seen and
whether it's holding you back and how
it's held and not whether notice when
you're you're feeling fearful of being
seen. And take note of
(16:48):
how is that holding you back.
And so that's the self-awareness part.
The 2nd is just redefining your success,
right?Like recognizing that celebrating
yourself doesn't make you less humble.
It's actually, it makes you more
empowered to do the to do what you
want to do, right?Your why remembering
(17:09):
it. Because I think holding back on what
your wins are, it yeah, it doesn't.
It's disempowering. It kind of
latches on to more of the imposter
syndrome cycle and it's just not helpful.
And then I think like the third thing,
like how I mentioned before of like
owning your space with a trusted group,
just build your support system where you
(17:31):
have people, even if it's like people
that are not physically in your life,
find virtual spaces, find wherever
you can to find people where
you feel comfortable. And
confident in celebrating your wins and
encourage yourself to show up fully and
not hold back. Because I think that's
(17:53):
definitely a new space for many of
us. And I think definitely it's
uncomfortable. It has been for me, but I
think it's important,
right?And share your wins like
thoughtfully and be thoughtful like.
Sharing contacts, focusing on what
your success means to you and your
(18:15):
community. I think it's just nice to
understand of like having the
practical steps of like that there
are ways that you can work on this and
that you don't have to risk
taking yourself out of the game,
especially in business. When it's small
things that you can do that can add up a
(18:37):
lot like the creating your self-awareness
of one that happened. How does that
impact you?Redefining your
celebrations that you know it's actually
empowering and it's getting you close to
your why building your support
system. Find it wherever you can.
It doesn't have to be the people that are
closest to you right now. Doesn't. It's
(18:59):
not necessary and just being thoughtful
when you're sharing it. And I would
say, you know, as a reflection
question, in addition to keeping
that weekly like
journal of your wins, I would say this
week I want you to reflect on just one
win or achievement. How did you
(19:20):
celebrate it?Did you share it with
anyone?If not, why?
And if you did, how did it feel?Think
about one small way you can step into
celebrating yourself. More
authentically, like the that sits. When I
say authentically, let's just write with
you right now, right?I don't really like
(19:42):
using that word, but whether it's like
writing it, like how did you celebrate it?
Like is it writing it down?Is it telling
your friend?Is it sharing it publicly?
Because I think sometimes we. Think that,
you know, if we share, it has to be
shared publicly and it has to be this
way. But it could be simple. It could be
like you celebrated your win. You were
(20:02):
already down and like that was great.
Like maybe you went and got a dessert and
like got got a latte or something. Like
that's something I would do of like
that's just my way of like until I feel
ready to share with someone else. Like
that's a great way because there's been
instances where. It, you know, my brain
doesn't even remember of like, oh, this
was a win because I never took the time
(20:24):
out to acknowledge it. So it's really
nice to create this
habit because it does
definitely impact you in your business.
And you know, remember, we can honor
our roots and our values without staying
small. Like, that's not a necessary
thing. The world needs
(20:45):
your ideas, your voice, your
contributions, and like, you
know, it's possible for you to step into
your full potential. As cliche as that
sounds, it's it's not just
that you're doing something and like, you
know, we're talking about the business
that you're building and growing that's
heart-led. You're doing something that's
(21:06):
important to you, that means something to
you. So it's not just.
For ourselves, but for the communities we
represent and impact as well and the
impact we're here to create for them. So
it's just zooming out to the bigger
picture I think is really helpful.
Starting with celebrating your wins is
(21:27):
going to be uncomfortable at
first. But hey, like it's more
uncomfortable when you're at the end of
the year almost and you're like, I don't
know what's been about and there isn't
anything that. You could think of that
has gone well and then you have to dig
back and do that. So
I really want you to remember that what I
(21:49):
just said, like honoring your roots, your
values doesn't require you to
stay small. Actually, your
missions, your things that you're working
on are so much bigger than just you.
And like it is,
you know. All about the impact
that you're trying to make and the way
(22:09):
that your internal experiences
definitely shows up in your work.
So reflect on this.
Do this reflection question. If you have
questions, send me a message or sign
up for the free consult. I'm here to help
however I can.
Hey, if today's episode resonated with
(22:30):
you and you're ready to break free from
the cycles holding you back in your
business, it's time to book a
consultation with me. By the end of the
call, you'll know what's been holding you
back and you'll have a clear plan for
growing the business that's been on your
heart. So go ahead and head to the link
in the show notes to book your free call.
Welcome
Hey, I'm Suki Kaur, your host and fellow
cycle breaker. I'm here to help first
generation women of color grow their
business that's been on their heart by
breaking free from limiting cultural
expectations and navigating self-doubt.
Together, we'll cultivate self-trust,
(00:30):
explore how to step into your full
potential, and create success on your
terms. Let's break those much
needed cycles and build an impactdriven
life you've been dreaming of right here
in community.
So last week I spoke about jealousy and
how to use that to your advantage,
because we're taught from a
(00:52):
young age to look to people that are
doing better than us. But then that also
leaves us open to having to deal with
emotions that come up naturally instead
of suppressing them. So that was last
week. And today I want to talk about the
other side of jealousy, the part where
staying humble is so ingrained in
us and it's. If and that shows
(01:14):
up in business quite a lot and it shows
up everywhere in our life, but especially
in business. And today I want to talk
about that because I think
that it's necessary to break the
cycle of staying small in your business
and understanding, you know,
just to give some context,
understanding that there are reasons that
(01:35):
there are good intentions behind, you
knowHearing growing up to like,
especially as a first generation woman of
color of like, oh, don't forget to stay
humble. It came with good intentions,
right?It was a time
where if we really think about
it, there's cultural and generational
(01:56):
roots behind this mindset. Of course,
avoiding one of the things I think the
staying humble part, at least in
the Indian community, if sometimes
I see. People
hesitating to share what's going well for
them, especially when it comes around
(02:16):
money or business, because then it's
like, oh, we don't want to put evil eye
on it. We don't want to have other people
know about it because there's almost this
thing where saying humble is like the
unknown secret and it's like this
unknown, like weapon where you're like,
OK, this is gonna. This tactic that's
going to work in your benefit. So we
(02:37):
definitely don't want to share about
money, about business. And so it's
almost like we don't want to open
ourselves up to evil eye or
jealousy or and just like it's a way of
just avoiding. I think modern day it's
more of avoiding like criticism because I
think if somebody feels.
Like threatened in any way or
(02:58):
feels like they feel jealous of what's
going on with you. You may feel that
you know you're opening yourself up to
criticism. You're opening yourself up to
being less harm. Cause I think we like to
look at ourselves as harmless, right?And
we stay humble and it's really part of
not staying. If we think about it, the
context of like not trying to stand out
(03:20):
where from growing up as a first Gen.
and person of color you're.
You know, your background is more around
collectivism. It's not really thinking of
the individual of yourself and you've
been part of a community. So it makes
sense to, you know, sometime in that
for context, it makes sense that you
(03:42):
wouldn't be like, oh, hey, I'm doing
this. It would really just be like, OK,
if I'm doing so well here, then let me
see how I can go back to.
Helping others, making sure my community
it's it's not enough that I'm doing well.
It has to be from that collectivist
lens, right?And not so individualist that
we at least growing up in the
(04:05):
US on it, it's very different to navigate
the individualist lens
in the West versus especially
the countries in the east side where it
is all about community and it isn't
about. So much about individualism,
right?And and that type of
(04:26):
success in that way because it's almost
like, oh, it shouldn't be that way.
There's a lot of like, there's a lot of
like rooted cultural messages that we get
with it that we may not even be aware of.
And then also just in general from a
parental figure, like modesty was.
Encourage, right?Like being respectful
(04:47):
and avoiding conflict and avoiding any
kind of enemy because you don't want that
those eyes on you. So I think
hopefully that resonates with you because
I think for me that definitely does where
even still like there are some groups
where I still hesitate to say, Oh yeah.
You know, even though I'm single, I'm
(05:07):
doing really well. And like, I don't
really worry about like my financial
stability as much, right?As much as maybe
somebody would expect me to or I'm not in
that rut, but it's hard to admit it
because then there you are opening. I I
feel like I am opening myself up to
being open to
(05:28):
criticism, being a threat to someone and
getting kind of just don't want to deal
with it. So it's like avoid avoiding. The
being seen like literally being seen and
that goes into you know the staying
humble message that's
so ingrained in us. I think first it's
just a self-awareness that we need to
create around that of like where like
(05:49):
how much does this impact you
specifically and you know what?
Understanding what those messages were
for you and then also just deciding like,
how do you want to move forward?Maybe
it's been like this for almost four
years, but like, how do you want to move
forward?So I think that's important. And
I think it's really important for
(06:09):
first Gen. women of color who are
entrepreneurs because it shows up in
so many ways that we may not even realize
that it's related to this. And one of the
perfect examples is like not celebrating
your wins and keeping it private. I
recently coached my client who we
were talking about time management and
(06:29):
then she just and didn't even tell me
that she, you know, signed a client. And
she's like, you know, I wasn't able to
keep up with my schedule because that's
client that I signed. Then I had to kind
of change this and we're working on
different things, right. But then it was
just like a matter-of-fact thing that was
part of the story and not like, hey, I
actually signed a client like my.
(06:50):
You know, my social media strategy is
doing really well or like anything like
that. It was almost like, let's just
brush over it really quickly.
And, you know, we talked about what we
need to talk about. And then I came back
and I was like, hey, did you realize that
you just said you signed a client?And
then we laughed about it. But it's more
so of like, not even realizing that
that's something that's like worth
(07:12):
celebrating or worth even acknowledging
or even telling your business coach that
who you're working with too. You know,
help with your business to tell
acknowledge it there. So it's just
interesting in how you may not even
realize it and you kind of, you know,
sometimes you think, oh, it's just one
client or it's just two people or it's
just 10 people. But it's a lot of like
(07:32):
avoiding the
conversations about the growth plan and
then like down. It's a lot of more so
downplaying the success. So then it just
seems safer in a lot of ways
and then you knowYou want to stay
humble. You don't want to be too
competitive or too ambitious. And
so then that keeps you from like pitching
(07:54):
some of your ideas, right?Like maybe you
don't want to be too much. Sometimes we
think we're in this cycle of
not being enough, and then we get
worried and scared and fear. If we're
seen, then we're being too much. And then
so then basically we're just setting
ourselves up to a no-win situation.
(08:15):
And honestly like why that
impacts the most in business is that and
the why that I think I continue to
work on this is because it keeps me
from even being
it. It removes me from a lot of
opportunities. It's not Even so much will
I win something or will I do well. It
just like takes me out of the picture.
(08:36):
Like it removes me like
automatically from a lot of opportunities
just because of self-doubt. And I think
the staying humble and not being trying
too many things and maybe somebody you
tell will think, oh wow, you're doing so
much. How do you balance out?Like you may
have to answer those. So there's ways to
like navigate around that, right?But is
(08:57):
it worth it to hold yourself and hold
your business back that much for this?
At times it seems like it's too much to
deal with, but I think we'll, I'll
continue talking about this and what ways
to help with it, but. I don't know if I
would say that staying
humble for me is a good enough reason
(09:17):
to hold back, but and
I'll admit that, yeah, that definitely
has. I've definitely gone into
that where my self-doubt
has been like
so loud that being staying
humble and being this per person I should
be and the shoulds, right, the rules that
(09:39):
I was talking about. That they have
overwritten some of the things and I'm
like, oh, this would be a really cool
idea. Or like if I'm going to a
networking event, I'm like, oh, I should
suggest like this person collaborating
with me in this way. I think
staying humble and not too aggressive and
not too like open to criticism or
whatever it is, it
(10:02):
it has stopped me. So I'm not saying that
I admit that it's not a good reason, but
has it?Overtaken. Yeah, definitely. But
do I want to?No. And I'm more aware of
it. And I'll mention like, you know,
how we like can deal
with it. And one of the things,
especially as people that resonate with
imposter syndrome, I think this just
(10:24):
gives it another reason to it
perpetuates it, right?Like it gives it
another reason to stay in that
imposter syndrome cycle like we are.
Worried we're not good enough. So we stay
small. Then we worried about
staying humble and not being too
overconfident. So you just not and not
even acknowledging the wins that you
(10:46):
clearly have in your face. Like literally
in front of you, you have certain wins
and whether it's financial or not, that's
not the point, right?It doesn't mean that
I'm talking to someone that has made
their financial goals. Maybe you haven't,
but there's a lot of other wins that you
can have that are intangible goals.
right, that you know you see that are
(11:07):
making a difference. But like do we want
to acknowledge that?Probably not, because
it's always seems safer
to stay within the cycle, this loop that
may not help us be where we are, but it's
comfortable, it's it's known, and there's
not that much uncertainty because you're
like, well, the worst that can happen is
I just feel this way and like, no one can
(11:28):
tell, and I'm kind of doing okay. So it's
like,Reinforcing
that in a. Way that your
idea of success is something to feel
guilty about or even ashamed about.
And in the episode with Sid, she talks
about about like the guilt
of first Gen. woman of color that you
(11:51):
know having more resources than
generations before and having
opportunities can have someone
feel guilty and that you know
causes. Women
definitely to self-sabotage in different
ways. And I think the staying humble
part, if we're not aware of it, that's
(12:12):
one way that it can really show up in
business and and it holds us back
so much. So there's definitely re
need to reframe
the humility, right?So it's for good
reason, but in just kind of
reframing it to be into like a more.
Useful, like healthier
(12:33):
mindset I would say, and it can be
small, right?The 1st way I would say is
just celebrate your wins. Like create a
journal or a piece of paper. Take some
time out to reflect on your wins for the
week. And they can be small, they can be
big. If you're just collecting data
and you just needed to know like OK, what
(12:54):
are things that went well like just.
Give that to yourself and write it down.
If you don't have to share it with
anyone, you don't even have to read it
again, but just acknowledge it. Just get
it onto paper and then
own your space in the sense that to like,
practice talking about your success with
like, not everyone, right?Like that's
(13:15):
like sometimes it's like your worst
nightmare to just tell every single
person, oh, I make this much and I'm
doing well. But no, start with.
owning your space within a group of
people where you can talk about your
success, that's with a group of people
that you trust. So it's not really
where you're just going out there and
(13:36):
saying, and sometimes it depends, like if
it's not a trusted group and it's just a
group, you'd rather tell complete
strangers than someone that you know and
you don't trust. So I think being careful
of where you do it and the
That's really important because the
reactions you get will, you know,
register in your brain of like, oh, see,
(13:57):
this isn't, This is why we shouldn't do
this. But if it's a trusted group, you
kind of go in with the guards down a
little bit, even if this is like a
totally new, like
totally new territory for you.
And then like acknowledge the bigger
picture, like understand that sharing
your wins. may actually inspire
(14:18):
others to believe in what's possible for
them too. Like it's, I know that, you
know, sometimes, especially as someone
that resonates with being, having
imposterous and so much about us and
in our minds and we're kind of like
ruminating and going in these circles,
but we may actually be inspiring other
people by sharing it. And also, I
(14:39):
think like one of the really big reasons
in business thatHelps
you helps me stay rooted is
is just remembering the reason why I'm
doing it. Like remember that you
know, sharing your ideas and
achievements. It's adding value
and not really just like just trying to
(15:01):
show off. You're
successful. That means you may be helping
someone the way that you want to in your
way. And it doesn't mean it has to be
thousands of people, right?Or it can be,
but it doesn't have to be a number or it
doesn't have to be. A scale at
which you are reporting to that you
(15:21):
haven't created yourself. So that's on
you, right?Like you can't just keep going
with like a moving target, right?Like it
has to be something that you think is
important. And I think staying rooted in
your why is so important
because that will help you
bring your business ideas forward because
you know you're about like your mission
(15:44):
and why you're doing it is important to
you because otherwise. You know, we're
successful women of color first Gen. Like
we don't have to do business. Like this
is not something that's, you know, on
that norm pathway that we have to do. And
likely you've already, you know, you have
a traditional career, you're doing well
financially. It is what it is and you
don't have to do this. But I think
(16:05):
remembering your why is really important
and I'm just remembering to remember it
and if it's helpful, like write it down.
But definitely start with writing
down. Your success
for the week and you know some practical
steps that you can take to
just step out of the shadows and
(16:26):
like give yourself some
space is is first is just
creating the self-awareness. Like notice
when you're feeling fearful of being
seen and
whether it's holding you back and how
it's held and not whether notice when
you're you're feeling fearful of being
seen. And take note of
(16:48):
how is that holding you back.
And so that's the self-awareness part.
The 2nd is just redefining your success,
right?Like recognizing that celebrating
yourself doesn't make you less humble.
It's actually, it makes you more
empowered to do the to do what you
want to do, right?Your why remembering
(17:09):
it. Because I think holding back on what
your wins are, it yeah, it doesn't.
It's disempowering. It kind of
latches on to more of the imposter
syndrome cycle and it's just not helpful.
And then I think like the third thing,
like how I mentioned before of like
owning your space with a trusted group,
just build your support system where you
(17:31):
have people, even if it's like people
that are not physically in your life,
find virtual spaces, find wherever
you can to find people where
you feel comfortable. And
confident in celebrating your wins and
encourage yourself to show up fully and
not hold back. Because I think that's
(17:53):
definitely a new space for many of
us. And I think definitely it's
uncomfortable. It has been for me, but I
think it's important,
right?And share your wins like
thoughtfully and be thoughtful like.
Sharing contacts, focusing on what
your success means to you and your
(18:15):
community. I think it's just nice to
understand of like having the
practical steps of like that there
are ways that you can work on this and
that you don't have to risk
taking yourself out of the game,
especially in business. When it's small
things that you can do that can add up a
(18:37):
lot like the creating your self-awareness
of one that happened. How does that
impact you?Redefining your
celebrations that you know it's actually
empowering and it's getting you close to
your why building your support
system. Find it wherever you can.
It doesn't have to be the people that are
closest to you right now. Doesn't. It's
(18:59):
not necessary and just being thoughtful
when you're sharing it. And I would
say, you know, as a reflection
question, in addition to keeping
that weekly like
journal of your wins, I would say this
week I want you to reflect on just one
win or achievement. How did you
(19:20):
celebrate it?Did you share it with
anyone?If not, why?
And if you did, how did it feel?Think
about one small way you can step into
celebrating yourself. More
authentically, like the that sits. When I
say authentically, let's just write with
you right now, right?I don't really like
(19:42):
using that word, but whether it's like
writing it, like how did you celebrate it?
Like is it writing it down?Is it telling
your friend?Is it sharing it publicly?
Because I think sometimes we. Think that,
you know, if we share, it has to be
shared publicly and it has to be this
way. But it could be simple. It could be
like you celebrated your win. You were
(20:02):
already down and like that was great.
Like maybe you went and got a dessert and
like got got a latte or something. Like
that's something I would do of like
that's just my way of like until I feel
ready to share with someone else. Like
that's a great way because there's been
instances where. It, you know, my brain
doesn't even remember of like, oh, this
was a win because I never took the time
(20:24):
out to acknowledge it. So it's really
nice to create this
habit because it does
definitely impact you in your business.
And you know, remember, we can honor
our roots and our values without staying
small. Like, that's not a necessary
thing. The world needs
(20:45):
your ideas, your voice, your
contributions, and like, you
know, it's possible for you to step into
your full potential. As cliche as that
sounds, it's it's not just
that you're doing something and like, you
know, we're talking about the business
that you're building and growing that's
heart-led. You're doing something that's
(21:06):
important to you, that means something to
you. So it's not just.
For ourselves, but for the communities we
represent and impact as well and the
impact we're here to create for them. So
it's just zooming out to the bigger
picture I think is really helpful.
Starting with celebrating your wins is
(21:27):
going to be uncomfortable at
first. But hey, like it's more
uncomfortable when you're at the end of
the year almost and you're like, I don't
know what's been about and there isn't
anything that. You could think of that
has gone well and then you have to dig
back and do that. So
I really want you to remember that what I
(21:49):
just said, like honoring your roots, your
values doesn't require you to
stay small. Actually, your
missions, your things that you're working
on are so much bigger than just you.
And like it is,
you know. All about the impact
that you're trying to make and the way
(22:09):
that your internal experiences
definitely shows up in your work.
So reflect on this.
Do this reflection question. If you have
questions, send me a message or sign
up for the free consult. I'm here to help
however I can.
Hey, if today's episode resonated with
(22:30):
you and you're ready to break free from
the cycles holding you back in your
business, it's time to book a
consultation with me. By the end of the
call, you'll know what's been holding you
back and you'll have a clear plan for
growing the business that's been on your
heart. So go ahead and head to the link
in the show notes to book your free call.
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