Finding a partner after divorce can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack. This week’s guest, Jennie Young, suggests a bold alternative - burn the haystack. Jennie is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis, designed to push back against the toxic norms built into many modern dating platforms.
In this episode, Jennie shares practical, no-nonsense strategies for using dating apps more intentionally, treating them as tools (not lifelines), turning off notifications, and yes, burning the haystack. We also explore the common rhetorical patterns many men use on apps and how to recognize and respond to them when they show up.
Tune in for an eye-opening conversation that puts you back in control of your dating life, no algorithm required.
Here’s what else we get into, in this episode:
- How Burned Haystack Dating Method came to be and the story behind its name (5:22)
- The 10 essential rules that make up the Burned Haystack Dating Method (13:06)
- What critical discourse analysis actually is and how it can help you navigate dating apps with confidence (37:10)
- The rhetorical red flags to look out for, like “Test and apologize,” “Are you my mother?” and “Where were you on January 6th?” (38:58)
Learn more about Jennie Young: Jennie Young is the creator of Burned Haystack Dating Method, a dating method grounded in applied rhetoric and feminist praxis. It is designed to combat many of the challenges of dating in a market that is too frequently mediated by misogynistic and patriarchal structures. She holds a Ph.D. in rhetoric and discourse studies from Case Western Reserve University and a satire writing certificate from Second City Chicago. Her work has been published in McSweeney’s, Ms. Magazine, HuffPost, and others and covered by major media outlets such as The New York Times, Newsweek, RollingStone, and others.
Resources & Links:
Thank you to this episode's sponsor: Wild Pastures
Unbreakable – the Divorce Recovery Retreat, Sedona, AZ in April 2025
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Jennie on LinkedIn
Episode 309: Online Dating After Divorce with Alyssa Dineen
DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
Episode Link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-317-burned-haystack-dating-method-with-jennie-young/
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